text:
There were many different comments about how Christian should have acted in the Playroom and Jason's concern for Ana. Some thought the scene was hot and appropriate for their relationship. Others thought that Christian should find a different way to release his aggression. All I can say in response to that is HE'S A DOM, PEOPLE! Nothing else to say.
I do want to say that people do things for different reasons and we really have to be careful not to judge what we may not understand. So please, I do want to request that we not slam anybody's lifestyle just because we don't agree. I know that I have people from different walks of life reading my story and I don't want someone to read someone else's comment and say, "Well, damn, what the fuck did they mean by that?"
Opinions are just fine—I welcome them—as long as they are not derogatory or offensive. Let's just remember that we are already dealing with "taboo" topics here. Let's be sure that we are not saying anything that may offend someone. If I have offended anyone, please forgive me.
I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy or the characters. They belong to E. L. James. I am only exercising my right to exploit, abuse, and mangle the characters to MY discretion in MY story in MY interpretation as a fan. I hope you—as a fellow fan—enjoy it, too.
Chapter 60—Daddy's Girl
"Who? Who the fuck did you say?" I bark at Welch.
"Alexandria Rose Lambert. She's 71 years old and resides in Harrisburg, PA. Widowed, three sons—Archibald, Frederick, and Harold Lambert…"
"Anastasia's father… fuck!" I bang my hand on the desk. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Butterfly just shed the nightmare that is her mother. Now, long-lost relatives are coming out of the fucking woodwork! Why now? Is it because Ana is about to be rich? "Could this woman be an imposter? An opportunist trying to play on Ana's emotions?"
"There is that possibility, Sir, but imposter is not very likely. We've followed her and tracked her ever since she started watching Ms. Steele. She didn't even know that we were tracking her. She most likely still doesn't unless one of the security detail has approached her, and I've got no word on that." I look at the pictures again.
"She doesn't look 71. Fifty, maybe, but not 71." I say. Welch shrugs.
"Hair dye, maybe. She takes excellent care of herself from the Intel I get. She's staying at the Marriott, runs every morning and gym every evening. I don't know about her eating habits, but she's in excellent shape."
"Again, another reason I think she's not 71 and could be an imposter. I want to meet this woman. Right now. I want to know why she waited until now to show up. Ana has never mentioned her. Nobody has, not even Ray. I want to know if she is who she says she is and why she's here." I pick up my phone to call Jason only to see him walking into my office with a bit of a solemn look on his face. "What is it?" I ask him.
"Her Highness is on her way back to Escala. She had an episode while she was shopping today." He's stalling.
"An episode?" I nearly growl.
"Yes Sir. Paramedics were called, but she refused to go to the hospital and had Chuck take her home." Hospital? Paramedics? What the fuck?
"English Jason quickly," I say through my teeth. He sighs.
"She passed out in the street, Sir. Chuck doesn't know exactly why, but he knows that she was talking on the phone to her father and she had just confronted a woman who says she's her grandmother." I thrust my hands into my hair.
"Oh, fuck! Are you kidding me? How the fuck does this shit happen? Why do I even hire you guys?" I'm screaming now.
"The details are sketchy, Sir, but as far as I can tell, Her Highness recognized the woman and approached her after asking Chuck to come with her. She didn't do anything careless from what I'm being told, but it just seems like the shock of the situation was too much for her." I shake my head in dismal despair.
"Two weeks," I hiss. "Two weeks before her fucking wedding. You lay down one demon and four more pop out. I swear I'm going to lock her in the fucking apartment!" I snatch my suit jacket from the back of the seat and head for the door.
"You're… who?" I don't recognize my own voice. It can't be. This can't be.
"I'm your grandmother, Anastasia. I'm your father's mother. I didn't mean for you to see me… at least, not like this." Her voice is kind and soft, and I feel like I'm about to shit my pants.
"I'm 27," I say, shaking. She frowns at me, confused.
"I know that, Dear," she says.
"Where have you been? I'm 27…" I'm hoping these few words can relay the horror I feel right now. I had a grandmother—a grandma—and I didn't know it for 27 years. There was someone out there of my own flesh and blood that didn't come for me when I was suffering. A man who doesn't share one bit of DNA with me cared more than my own blood. Am I really that unlovable? No! No! This flaw is not mine! This is hers. My family is nothing but a bunch of hideous, uncaring people and that's not my fault. I refuse to believe it's my fault.
Daddy. I need my Daddy.
"Daddy? Daddy? Daddy, I need you…" I say into the phone after shakily dialing his number.
"Annie? Annie, what's wrong?"
"There's a… lady… She… says… she says she's… my grandmother." I can barely speak. I feel like I'm going to pass out.
"Your grandmother?" He sounds completely flabbergasted. "What? Who… what's her name?"
"Al… Alex… andria…" There's a gasp on the other end.
"Mrs. Lambert!?" he squeals. "I thought she had died!" My brain is scrambled for a moment.
"You… know her?" I squeeze the words out of my throat. There's a pause on the other end of the line.
"Yes, Sunflower, I know Harry's mother… I knew Harry, too." That's it… here comes the darkness…
I'm safe in my bed. Maybe it was all a dream. The woman claiming to be my grandmother, Daddy on the phone, the paramedics… I look down at my clothes. Nope, not a dream. It was real. Fuck, it was real. I throw my legs angrily out of the bed. Where has she been all these years? My mind automatically goes to the beating. That was the time when I asked if anyone loved me, cried and wondered why there seemed to be no escape for me. Daddy couldn't take me because we're not blood, but she could have. Why didn't she come to rescue me?
After I relieve myself, I emerge from my bedroom to find my fiancé, father, stepmother and baby brother all in the great room. I almost feel like a stranger until I hear Harry coo. I walk right over to his baby seat.
"Hi, Harry," I say softly, not speaking to anyone else in the room. I gently lift him into my arms and cradle him there, taking comfort in his innocence and untainted love. "How are you, Little Guy?" I say kissing him on the forehead before sitting on the sofa. He looks up at me with that blank look that newborns have, unassuming and curious, and it makes me feel a little better about the world. At 22 days old, he already has the ability to make things right.
"Butterfly… are you hungry?" Christian is the first to approach, though very cautiously. Without raising my gaze from my gorgeous baby brother, I nod that I would like something to eat. "I'll go have Gail fix something. I'll be right back." Christian makes a hasty escape and I turn my attention to my father.
"You know her?" I ask, a bit more coldly than I wanted.
"Yes, I do," he says, softly.
"Did you see her? Is it really her or some sick fuck trying to come at me for money?" Ouch! That was certainly too much. Daddy winces at my words and I instantly regret how they came out, but not what I said. I want to know who this woman is and what she wants.
"I didn't see her yet, Annie, but I will. Christian asked to meet her after your episode this afternoon and she refused. She won't talk to anyone until she talks to you, which is going to be a task since your fiancé will not let her talk to you until she talks to him." I glare at him. How is Christian going to tell me who I can and cannot talk to? Is this how he thinks our marriage is going to go? As if to answer my question, Daddy continues. "He wants to make sure that you'll be safe before you speak to her. She could be anyone, Annie. We can't take that chance."
We. He agrees with Christian. Beneath my confusion, anger, pain, and frustration, I agree with Christian, too. There's another feeling there, though. It's betrayal. Alexandria Lambert is not the only one who has been keeping something from me.
"Why didn't I know about her? I didn't know that you weren't my biological father until I was 14. Why didn't I know about her? Why did you all keep her from me?" Daddy's face falls.
"We didn't keep you from her, Annie, I swear it. We didn't even know that she was still alive," he defends.
"How could you not know? You said you knew my…" What do I call him? I can't call him my father. Ray Steele is my father… but so was he. What do I call him?
"It's okay, Sunflower. He was your father. You can say it." He seems reserved to the fact but it still doesn't feel right to me, not in front of Daddy.
"You said that you knew my biological father. How could you not know about Alexandria?" A look of relief comes over his face, but it is quickly replaced by shame.
"Ana, it's time for me to feed Harry, and I think you and your father need some time alone," Mandy says reaching for Harry. "May I use your guest room please?"
I reluctantly hand Harry over to his mom. He was my talisman, my little bundle of comfort and strength, but I guess I'll have to be strong on my own.
"There are more comfortable chairs in my office if you like. It's upstairs, first room on your right. The guest room is the last room on the left." She nods and kisses Daddy on the cheek before disappearing up the stairs. I turn my gaze back to Daddy but say nothing. He sighs heavily.
"Mrs. Lambert stopped speaking to me after Carla and I got married," he begins. "It was very shortly after Harry died. She stopped speaking to Carla, too. She felt like we were dishonoring Harry but getting married so quickly." I've often wondered why they married so quickly myself. I always thought it was unrequited love that just saw the opportunity for happiness and took it. "Harry was my best friend, Annie."
"WHAT?!" The word was out of my mouth before I could stop it. Daddy actually jumps in his seat. What fresh, new insanity is this? Your best friend dies and you marry his wife? Please tell me that my Daddy is not that guy!
"We were in the Marines together. I won't lie, I loved Carla from the moment that I saw her, but she was my best friend's girl and I loved him like a brother…"
I sit in horrified silence while Daddy tells me about loving my mother from afar; about giving Harry and Carla their space so that his feelings wouldn't interfere with their relationship; about begging Harry not to die when the bomb went off. I can't believe what I'm hearing. Daddy and Harry were friends? Daddy loved Mom from afar like some Shakespearean tragedy? Daddy married his best friend's wife right after he died? Oh good hell!
The more I listened to the story, the more I realized that Daddy's act was mostly selfless in that he was trying to save me and Mom from being homeless. The fact that he loved Mom was both a blessing and a curse. He had to come clean with her about his feelings knowing that she didn't feel the same way. For a long time, they lived in the same house but never shared a bed. It took several months for Mom to feel anything more than grief for her husband, several more months for her to feel the depth of nothing more than gratitude. Daddy was so happy to be near her that he took whatever he could get, happy in the thought that he was also keeping his promise to his friend to take care of us. He was finally rewarded after two years of marriage with Carla's affection, and cursed 11 years later with her hatred.
She's suffering the curse of their decision as well. I don't think she ever truly found what she was looking for after Harry died. She found solace in whatever situation she was in until she… didn't. Now, I imagine that she is quite miserable knowing that she threw away what little peace she had to go searching for something better.
My heart swells for my father. I know that although he was driven by his desire for my mother, he made a promise to his friend to take care of us and that's exactly what he did. He cared for us to the best of his ability, often putting himself and his own feelings second for what he thought was best for us. Some of my best memories are with my daddy, but I have to say that I am even more happy that he has started his family again with Mandy and he is finally living his life on his own terms.
"So what ever happened to Alexandria after she stopped speaking to you? What made you think that she was dead?" I ask.
"We just never heard from her. We were sure that she would at least try to get in touch with us to see how you were doing. You were Harry's only child, her only link to her son left on earth and she just… disappeared. I even went by her house a few times in the years that followed. Her sons knew who I was and wouldn't give me any information, just that she wasn't there anymore. I gave up after a while thinking that if she was alive, she would surely have gotten in touch with us. I had no idea that she held that grudge so long and missed out on her granddaughter's life."
"Can you blame her, Daddy? She didn't know what to make of all of this. I can completely understand how she felt." Daddy looks at me with sad eyes. No, Daddy, don't… please. I launch myself into his arms and hug him tight. "I can understand how she felt, Daddy, because she didn't know what was going on. I don't feel that way. I think you are the strongest, kindest, most selfless and wonderful man that I have ever met in my life—even more now knowing what you did for me and Mom." He hugs me back and I can feel him shuddering against me.
"I love you, Annie," he says, his voice thick with emotion.
"I love you, too, Daddy," I reply, holding him close to me.
I awake on Saturday morning ready to go to my final fitting for my dress. Mandy, Al, and Tammy are all going with me and once these final adjustments are confirmed correct, Al will take the dress back to his apartment to prevent it from being discovered by prying eyes.
When we arrive at the studio, the three designers are all falling over themselves to get me into the final product. They are patting one another on the back for being able to collaborate on such a marvelous creation and are now clamoring to get me into the dressing room. Seeing my dress on the hanger stole my breath away. I have to sit down for a moment and admire it before I put it on.
When I emerge from the dressing room, I am smiling and crying at the same time. Demetrio gasps and covers his mouth. Neal claps his hands while Jesse fans himself. "Miss Steele… you are breathtaking," Jesse breathes. Although I know they want me to be happy with their creation and wouldn't say anything less, I would have to agree with his analysis. I do my best to compose myself before revealing the dress to Mandy, Al, and Tammy. I gently lift the front so that I don't walk on it while Neal carries the train. The moment that I clear the curtain separating the back of the studio from the showroom, the room falls silent. Mandy is staring at me completely stunned and I think I see Al drool a bit.
"Oh my God," Tammy says softly. "Wang is going to shit herself that she didn't get commissioned for this."
I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I don't care. I'm convinced that Tammy is obsessed with Vera Wang. I step onto the four-foot-round bridal podium and admire myself from all angles in the surrounding mirrors. For a moment, it's just me and my dress. The dress is diamond white satin with a French floral lace overlay that covers the entire dress. The dress would be considered a sheath dress, but it has a slight mermaid fit at the hip which flows out into a full skirt and three-foot round train. The "collar" is high, sheer floral lace that meets and flows continuously over a satin, sweetheart neckline.
The bottom of my breast is framed by a four-inch wide white tulle sash which drops in an upside-down "V" and is attached at either side of the dress. Holding the tulle in place is a beautiful three-inch, diamond-shaped broach made of platinum and Swarovski crystals nestled between my breasts directly under the sweetheart neckline. In the back, the collar splits into two panels of lace—both three inches wide—that frame my back creating a dramatic large teardrop opening that meets just below the center of my spine. The lace gives you just a peek of "the garden" before the flowers and butterflies disappear behind white satin and twenty covered buttons that line up down the small of my back and just over the top of my butt.
I admire my dress a few moments more before turning around to face the "critics." Al and Mandy are actually crying… both of them! Good God, I hope Christian doesn't cry when he sees me!
"I knew you could do it," I say turning to Demetrio, Jesse, and Neal. "You brought my vision to life."
"I only had the sash, Miss," Neal says, a bit forlorn. I hold my hands out to him beckoning him to come to me. He walks over to me and takes my hands.
"Yes, Neal. You only had the sash, but look at it. With Demetrio's shell and Jesse's lace, your sash and brooch brought this beautiful creation together. Look at it," I say, regarding my reflection once more and fondling the Swarovski crystals on my bosom. "Without your contribution, it wouldn't be complete. Thank you," I say, taking his hand again and kissing it dramatically, eliciting a beet-red blush from him. "Thank you all so much. Delighted and ecstatic do not begin to describe how I feel right now." The other two gentlemen bow and clap as I turn to Mandy and Al. "Well?" I say with a shrug and a smile.
"Jewel," Al breathes while walking over to me. "Oh, Jewel, you look…" He drops his head and starts to weep again. My best friend is having a hard time keeping it together. I lift his head and kiss him gently.
"I'm still your Jewel. I'll always be your Jewel," I say softly, reading his thoughts. He purses his lips through his tears and nods. He turns his face to my hand and kisses my palm.
"I know. I can't wait for Chris and Ray to see you." I smile and kiss him again. "You look lovely."
"Thank you, Al." I squeeze his hand and turn to Mandy.
"I wish Ray could see you," she says, her voice cracking. "I mean, I know he will, but I wish he could see you now."
"Thanks… Mom," I say to her with a wink. She giggles a bit and wipes a few stray tears from her cheek. I turn to Tammy. "Still think I should have gone with The Wang?" I ask her. She sticks her tongue out at me.
"Hey! I will never defame The Wang, but…" She walks around the podium examining my dress. "This has to be one of the most exquisite and divine creations I have ever seen in my career." Wow! That makes me feel like a million bucks in this dress. "Bravo, gentlemen! Bravo! Ana, out of the dress. Demetrio, champagne!"
Christian and I are sitting in the first floor conference room at Grey House. It's about 3:00pm on Monday afternoon. Christian sits on the end and I am sitting in the seat directly to his right. Across from us is the woman who says she is my grandmother, Alexandria Lambert. Christian has shared her background check with me. Apparently, I have two uncles that I've never met as well. Interesting. They've all left Seattle—either immediately after my father's death, as was the case with Alexandria, or in the few years that followed. This would be why Ray never heard from her again.
Until now, that is.
I examine her carefully. She says that she's 71, but she doesn't look a day over 50 and that's stretching it. She's familiar—very familiar—so I know that we are related. She looks just like Harry, my father, not my brother. I only know because he haunts my dreams regularly now, still refusing to tell me who he is, why he's sorry, or who he broke. This shit really creeps me out, I'm not afraid to say, but shit… he's just like Harris. He's shows up when there is some kind of weakness in my life that I'm having trouble dealing with or when something huge is about to happen.
I haven't seen Harris. Maybe Harry chased him away.
Harris. Harry. That's a little too close.
"I know what you must think of me," she says, her hands folded in front of her. Her voice broke me from my daydream and I can't help but chuckle.
"Do you?" I say, impassively. "You know, the last person that said that to me was very shocked to discover what I was really thinking." I must admit that I feel a bit guilty. Part of me wants to put this woman through her paces. Another part wants to know where the hell she's been all these years. Yet another part wants to get up and walk out of here and leave her to her life. "However, I would really like to know what you think I'm thinking right now." She clears her throat.
"I guess I should have been a little more… specific. I don't know what you must be thinking, but I can just about imagine. I know what I would be thinking and none of it is good." You got that right, Lady. "There's nothing that I can say to you that I think you would want to hear—nothing that could erase all the years I haven't been around. Honestly, I just wanted to see you in person, to see the woman that you've become…"
"Why?" I ask, interrupting her. She stares at me for a moment.
"You look like Carla," she says. That's why? "You were so young the last time that I saw you, just days old, in fact. Your features had not yet developed. You were just one of those featureless but beautiful babies and we just waited to see what you would look like. But then, Harry was gone. Just like that, Harry was gone. In no time flat, Carla was marrying his best friend and living in the house with him, like my Harry never existed." Her voice cracks as she relays the story. "How does someone do that? How do you claim to love a man, have his child, then marry his best friend moments after he dies?" She shakes her head. "I know that's your mother…"
"I don't speak to my mother," I say, interrupting her again. The last thing I want to talk about right now is Carla Morton. She raises her eyes to me in surprise. "We have had our say and I don't speak to her or of her," I add.
"Oh!" she says. "I had no idea."
"You wouldn't," I say, coolly. "I ask again, why did you have to see me?" She looks crestfallen.
"You're all that's left of my Harry," she says softly.
"I was all that was left of Harry 27 years ago… 20 years ago… 15 years ago. Why now?" Get to the point, Lady. You saw the news.
"I was bitter!" she shoots. "What they did—they dishonored my son! It was disrespectful and treacherous and unthinkable!"
"Careful, Lady. That's the only father I've ever known that you're talking about." I realize that my voice has fallen a few octaves and I think I scare her a bit. I try to reign in my anger. "I can sympathize with what you must have been feeling after my father died, but had you bothered to ask what happened, Daddy would have told you. He would have told you that he held Harry in his arms while Harry breathed his last breaths and made him promise to take care of me and my mother. He would have told you that Harry knew that he was quite taken with my mother, but that Daddy deliberately stayed away from Harry and Carla at of respect for his friend. He would have told you that my mother and I were in jeopardy of being thrown out of our home which is why they were married so quickly—so that we could stay on the base. He would have told you that they slept in separate bedrooms for years while my mother mourned the loss of the man that she loved. You were so wrapped up in your own hatred and grief that you never bothered to ask." Take that! Don't talk about my father like he's some sort of cad!
"He took away your name," she says, still a little bitter. "Anastasia Steele? Your name was Lambert."
"Oh, surely you can see how awkward that would have been for Lance Corporal and Mrs. Raymond Steele to have a newborn baby named Anastasia Lambert!" For crying out loud, Lady, you can't be that dense.
"It couldn't have been any more awkward than him marrying his best friend's wife. I mean, really!" She shoots. She's too angry about the marriage and the name change to see beyond it. Besides, we're getting off track.
"I guess that's something that you'll have to take up with my father… or not. Either way, it still doesn't tell me why you showed up in my life after all of these years. I needed a grandmother years ago. I don't need one now nor am I interested in forging new relationships with long-lost relatives who didn't think to look for me before I became an independent adult through years of hard work and sorrow." I guess I'm a little bitter, too. You show up after 27 years, you insult my father, and now I guess you're hoping for a family reunion? Not going to happen, Sister. She blinks at me a few times.
"Oh my," she says softly. "If that's how you really feel…" She begins to fidget with her fingers and her purse in her lap. "I should go." She stands quickly and straightens her clothes before scrambling to the door. "I'm really very sorry that I bothered you," she says before proceeding out the door. Christian sits there with me in silence for about five seconds before he stands and follows Alexandria out of the door. I don't really know what to make of that, but I sit there alone with my thoughts for a few moments.
How dare she insult my Daddy. Who the fuck does she think she is? I really am very sorry that Harry died so young, and I'm very sorry that you didn't take the time to talk to his best friend and widow to see exactly what was going on. I know how it must have looked, but you didn't even ask! I try to sit there in my righteous indignation, but the truth is that I would have felt the same way had that been my son. I would have thought that his best friend and that hussy that he called a wife must have lost their rabbit-ass minds to get married before my son was even cold in his grave yet. Would I have listened had he come to me to explain why he married my daughter-in-law once removed? Would I have even asked? Would I have even wanted to know? Would I have truly shut myself out of my granddaughter's life because of it?
Would I?
Oh, fuck!
I can't even answer those questions. I stand and walk through the door that Christian and Alexandria exited moments before.
"Mrs. Lambert! Mrs. Lambert, wait!" I catch her just as she's about to leave through the revolving door. She turns around and looks at me with large, sad eyes. I examine her closely and realize that she is in very good shape. Toned legs and arms are visible under a blue skirt suit, but her neck and eyes show signs of aging. I can tell that she hasn't had any work done and besides maybe a dye job to cover the gray and, looking at her more closely, she actually could be 71 years old—a very fit 71 years old, but yes, she could.
"I don't want to disrupt her life. I've seen the news. I know what she's been going through," she says. "I never would have known but one of the people involved in that whole beating case in Nevada has ties in Harrisburg and… well, they showed her picture. She looks just like Carla and I knew that her name was Anastasia. They named her after me—Alexandria Rose." She stops realizing that she has begun to ramble. "I couldn't remember Ray's last name until I heard it. I swear I didn't want to upset her. I don't want anything. I just wanted… to make sure that she was alright."
"I believe you, Mrs. Lambert," I tell her to her surprise. "I pride myself on being a good judge of character and I am generally mistrusting of people and their motives, but I believe you. You have to know that this is a delicate time for Anastasia. It's only been a few months since the Green Valley story broke and she's been dealing with it for over a decade now. Most of the people involved haven't even been brought to justice yet. We don't know when the trials are going to be or how much this is really going to disrupt our lives… You have to know that this timing was very bad." She nods.
"I know, Mr. Grey. I'm an old woman and I have to admit that I had hoped… well, no matter. I'll leave as soon as I can make travel arrangements. I didn't mean to… I'm sorry, Mr. Grey." She turns to leave again and I hear Butterfly's voice behind me.
Mrs. Lambert turns around to face Butterfly, her expression hopeful.
"You need to talk to my father first. He's the only family that I have and I love him very much. He was mourning the loss of his friend, too, and he didn't deserve to be condemned by you. You missed the opportunity to comfort each other and heal together, not to mention the opportunity to be a part of your granddaughter's life. Talk to my father, and we'll see where it goes from there." She tilts her head at Butterfly.
"You are quite loyal, I see—quite the formidable young woman," she says.
"I'm very protective of the people that I love," Butterfly replies. Mrs. Lambert nods.
"I don't know what Carla did to get on your bad side, but whatever it was, I bet she's kicking herself right now." Mrs. Lambert puts her purse on her shoulder and smiles a small smile. "Hopefully, we will meet again, Anastasia."
"Alexandria," she says with a short nod. Mrs. Lambert returns the nod and leaves the building without incident. I turn to Butterfly and rub her arms.
"Are you okay?" I ask her. She nods.
"I'm not going to let her disrupt my life, Christian. I've had enough of that. We have a wedding in 12 days and that's what I'm concentrating on. At least I don't have to worry about her hiding in shadows and creeping around corners now." I rub her arms again and lead her to the elevators.
I go to Boys Night on the next day and bring Ray and Dad with me. Since they won't be taking part in the bachelor day next week, I thought I would spend some time with them and show them where I "hang out," so to speak. I've become a little more than acquaintances with some of the guys there, and it's a comfortable place to be. My father and father-in-law fit right in.
"Ana told her that she has to talk to you," I tell Ray concerning Alexandria. "She's still very bitter about you marrying Carla right after Harry died."
"Well, first of all, that's none of her business," Ray defends. "Second of all, I would have been happy to explain things to her had she come to me and asked." Ray takes a swallow of his beer.
"Yes, I think Ana made that quite clear to her. She told Mrs. Lambert that she had no right to condemn you because she didn't know the whole story. I have no doubt that she'll be trying to contact you this week."
"She doesn't know how to contact me so that's not likely."
"She found Ana, she'll find you." That thought doesn't sit easy with me. With Butterfly being so newsworthy, she's very easy to find with very little effort. I may want to talk to her about another security detail. If Davenport goes down, she's all alone.
"Well, I wish her luck then." He takes another swallow of his beer. "What do you think she wants after all these years… money?"
"I don't know. Has she ever struck you as that type of woman?" He shakes his head.
"I didn't know her well enough to be able to speak on her character. Off the top, I would say 'no,' but why show up now?"
"I honestly think she's just an old woman who found a missing link to part of her family and just wants to reconnect it." I say. Ray shrugs.
"Do you know how to reach her, Ray?" Dad asks. Ray shakes his head and Dad looks at me.
"I didn't get any contact information from her yesterday and my background check may or may not have a cell phone number. I can check." Ray pauses for a moment then shakes his head again.
"No. Annie is right. She condemned me. She cut me off. She needs to make the first move. If she wants to talk to me, she'll find me."
"Would you meet her if she does contact you?" Dad asks. Ray stares at his beer for a moment.
"I always felt guilty, you know," he begins, spinning the bottle on the table between his fingers. "I hated losing Harry. I really did, but the fact that I got Carla made me… almost happy that he died. He was my best friend. What kind of man feels that way about his best friend?"
"Did you really feel that way about Harry, or about the circumstances?" Dad asks. Ray raises his head.
"I don't follow," Ray says.
"Well, it's true that you had to lose your friend to get the girl that you coveted…"
"Do you have to say it like that?" Ray nearly whines. I almost want to laugh. What else would you call it, Ray?
"I won't mince words with you, Ray," Dad says. "I don't think you would appreciate that. You're a good man. From what I can tell, you were a good man then, too, but you coveted your best friend's wife—severely. That's why you felt guilty. You wanted that woman so badly that the fact that you had her overshadowed the fact that your best friend had to die in order for you to get her. That's what I think makes you feel guilty, but don't misconstrue it. You weren't happy that your best friend died. That would make you a monster, and a monster wouldn't admit that. However, you were happy that Harry was no longer an obstacle to you being able to have Carla…"
"But he was an obstacle," Ray protests. "I may have been married to Carla, but I didn't have her for two more years."
"Would you have rather had her sooner?" I ask Ray and he looks at me, frowning a bit. "Would you rather she had stopped mourning her husband and loved you sooner?" Ray stares at me for a bit.
"I don't know how to answer that," he admits, taking another drink of his beer. "Of course, I didn't want her to act like Harry never existed, but did I want her to love me… more than anything."
"Think of this, Ray," Dad says, after sipping his Scotch. "Even as Harry lay dying in your arms, you thought of Carla and Anastasia. You begged him not to die not because you would be losing your best friend, but because you didn't want them to be left alone. Even at the time, you never thought of yourself. You begged your friend to live—to hold on—for someone else. Do you still think that you were 'happy' that he died?" Ray pauses for several seconds before dropping his head.
"No," he says, his voice just above a whisper and a single tear falling to the table. "I was happy to have Carla… happy to have a chance with her, but it hurt like hell that Harry died. It hurt for a long time." He wipes his face. "He comes to me in my dreams, you know. I know it sounds crazy, but he's been doing it for years. Not often, but every now and again. Now, he's telling me that I did my best. After all these years, he comes to me now telling me that I did my best. Why do you think that is?" Dad and I look at each other.
"Maybe it's because you finally moved on with your life," I tell him, not knowing what else to say. "Think about it, Ray. You gave up any chance that you had to find a girl of your own—at the time—to help this broken, grieving family. True, you were in love with Carla, but you had no way of knowing if she would ever return that love to you. She could have never felt anything more than grateful to you for helping her and Ana during their time of need. You took a big chance with that and put your life on hold for them. What would have happened if she had gotten on her feet, thanked you, and left? How would you have felt?" Ray ponders that for a moment.
"That's turns out to sort of be exactly what she did—13 years later and without the 'thank you,'" he says as he bottoms out his beer.
"Yes, but you did get 13 years—or at least 10 or 11. You tried, Ray, even as she was walking out of your life, you tried. Maybe that's what Harry is trying to tell you." I'm not all into that spirits-crossing-over-realms thing, but I don't disparage anyone who is. God knows, I haven't heard from my dead mother, and I don't want to hear from her now. So she better fucking not show up!
"Maybe you're right, Son," Ray says, trying to take a swallow from an empty beer bottle. "Looks like I need a refill," he says, holding up the empty bottle for us to see. "Can I get you two anything?" We both tell him that we're fine and he nods.
"Do you think he'll be okay?" Dad asks when he's out of earshot.
"He's a strong man, Dad," I tell him, "but I'll let Ana know to just keep an eye on him. Monsters that suddenly pop out of closets have a way of destroying your life if you let them."
Friday rolls around and I find myself in the first-floor conference room again sitting at the conference table, this time, with Mrs. Lambert and Ray and I'm playing referee.
"Why now, Alexandria?" Ray asks, his voice cold.
"I don't have an answer to that question, Ray," Mrs. Lambert replies, her voice not as cold, but still frosty. "I just… after all of these years, I just wanted to see her. I'm an old woman now. I haven't had any link to my granddaughter—my Harry—for nearly 30 years."
"That's not her fault," Ray snaps. "She's very fragile—strong, but fragile. Now is not the time for you to be disrupting my daughter's life." She scoffs a bit.
"While I… appreciate what you did for Carla and Anastasia during their time of need, Anastasia is not your daughter," she says matter-of-factly. Ray slams both of his hands down on the conference table, causing me and Mrs. Lambert to jump. Oh shit, you fucked up now, Lambert.
"That. Is my. Daughter. Lady. And nothing you can ever say is going to change that!" Ray snarls through his teeth, his voice grumbling deep in his throat. I think this particular topic is definitely off-limits.
"I'm going to have to call a time-out here," I say, trying to break the tension. "Mrs. Lambert, I can understand that you may want some answers and you have some definite feelings and opinions about this situation. However, for 27 years, Ray has been the only father Anastasia has ever known. He gave her his name, took care of her even after he and Carla split, and loves her like his own flesh and blood to this day. He means the world to her and she to him. I will not allow you to diminish that relationship in my presence. If you do it again, I will have to ask you to leave. If you feel that you cannot refrain from doing it, I will ask you to please leave now. The man and woman that I currently call 'Dad' and 'Mom' had nothing to do with my conception. So I take personal offense to what you just said."
I try not to glare at her because this is not my fight, but certain topics are simply off-limits, and I hope she gets the picture without me having her escorted out of the building. She looks over at me, then back at Ray, then straight ahead.
"Fine," she replies curtly. "I'll keep my feelings on that particular topic to myself." Wow, she really is bitter about this. Ray rolls his eyes and shakes his head.
"What do you want, Alexandria?" he says, his patience clearly running thin.
"I want a relationship with my granddaughter."
"That's completely up to her," Ray replies.
"She said I had to speak to you first."
"I don't know. Your permission, I guess," she nearly hisses.
"If you're looking for my permission, I'm not sure that I want to give it. I don't know what your motives are for turning up so late in her life!" Ray snaps back.
"I couldn't find her!" Mrs. Lambert barks back.
"Bullshit!" Ray accuses. "You didn't want to! I looked and looked for you! Carla tried to reach you! You were cold and unfeeling and too wrapped up in your own anger and hatred to understand what was really going on… to even ask! So you can try again with that 'I couldn't find her' bullshit, Lady, because we never hid!" Ray is mad! I've never seen him this angry in my life.
"Oh, so now I'm the bad guy!" she nearly shrieks.
"Who say anybody's the bad guy here? You're acting like I took your granddaughter and hid her away in the Himalayas somewhere. I was active duty military for years! You could always get a message to me, even if you claimed you didn't know where I was!" There's silence for a few moments.
"I… didn't know what to do," she says, her voice still laced with anger… and she's hiding something. This is the first time I've felt like she was hiding something.
"What do you mean you didn't know what to do? Twenty-seven years. She needed you. You could have helped her during that time when I couldn't. You could have spared her some of the misery she experienced." She smirks a bit.
"Oh, are you saying that your precious Carla ended up not being the saint you had hoped you would acquire?" This woman plays dirty. Ray's face falls.
"That's exactly what I'm saying," Ray says, leaning in a bit. "And guess who took the brunt of that hell, Mother Theresa? Your granddaughter." His voice is unwavering when he makes his revelation and Mrs. Lambert's smile falls away.
"The sins of the father," she says smugly.
"But you said that I wasn't her father, so are you speaking of Harry now?" Ray shoots. She glares at him.
"Don't you dare speak of my son," she hisses.
"He was my best friend!" Ray hisses back.
"And how do you show that friendship? By marrying his wife before he was even cold in his grave!"
"And I see that you still don't listen, so we'll try this one last time. My dying friend made me promise to take care of his wife and child. Saint Carla and Ana were going to be displaced—removed from base housing with nowhere to go if I hadn't married her. She has no other family that I've met in 27 and just had a baby. What do you suppose she should have done?"
"She should have come to us!" Mrs. Lambert shouts.
"She did come to you!" Ray yells back. "You turned her away!"
"After she married you!"
"She was confused!" Ray defends. "Did you see what kind of shape she was in after Harry died? She didn't know up from down! You were so lost in your own grief, you didn't even acknowledge her at the funeral. She probably didn't even think to ask you if that was an option and when she did come to you, you shut her down. Do you think for one second that she would have taken my offer if she thought she could move in with you? She didn't love me! She loved Harry! It was an arrangement. We didn't have any kind of romantic relationship for years. She was alone… lost. She didn't know what to do. She was a young mother with nowhere to go. Yes, I loved her, but I loved Harry more. You can think whatever you want to think, but I lost my best friend and I never got over that…"
"So you slept with his wife!" She snaps back. She didn't hear anything he said. Ray sits back in his seat and clasps his hands in front of him on the table.
"No," he says calmly. "If you're looking for permission to speak to my daughter, the answer is no. You're bitter and hateful, and I don't know what your motives are. So, no, stay away from my daughter."
"Your daughter! Your daughter! Isn't that convenient? Remove one man and insert another and poof… instant family!" Her voice is laced with ire and her filter is slowing flying out the window.
"Remove? Harry wasn't removed, he died! He didn't take some payoff and leave the country or run off with another woman. He died! You make it sound like we were changing a pair of shoes. The man died!"
"And you dishonored his memory by sleeping with his widow!" Ray's mouth falls open.
"Lady, are you deaf, slow, or just deliberately ignorant?" he asks, bemused. "By the time Carla and I slept together, it was years after Harry had died. Years! She was not hanging around waiting for someone to come take care of her or looking for someone to take Harry's place."
"Oh, I believe that," she says sarcastically. "A woman lives in the same house with a man that she has married and they don't sleep together for years. She really was a saint."
Suddenly, her motive is clear to me. I don't know why I didn't see it before. Seeing Ana was a secondary goal, a bonus maybe. What she really wanted was to confront Ray. She has been sitting on this bitterness and anger and hatred for nearly three decades. Now, she can confront the cause and she is not taking down.
"I think we need to refocus here," I break in. They both look at me as they clearly forgot that I was even in the room. "Mrs. Lambert, because I'm going to marry Anastasia, I would really like to know just like Ray does—what is your purpose for being here? Why did you show up now?"
"I'm an old woman," she says. "I want to see my granddaughter before I die." I think about her conversation with Butterfly two days ago. She was leaving and I stopped her. Did she plan that? Did she plan for one of us to come after her?
"And you did, two days ago. So why come back?" I press. She examines me shrewdly.
"I was hoping to have some kind of relationship with her. In order to do that, she said that I had to see him." She points at Ray.
"To which you agreed. You insulted him in that meeting and you're insulting him now… and you're still hoping to have a relationship with your granddaughter?" I ask calmly, but bemused. I can see it in her eyes. She's on the ropes. She doesn't know where to swing now.
"I'm… I'm emotional," she defends.
"But you're not," I point out. "Everything that you're saying is calculated, controlled. You haven't said five complete sentences on your own about your desire to see Anastasia, but you have plenty to say to Ray about his marriage to Carla." Ray's brow furrows as he contemplates what I'm saying, probably running the conversation over in his head as well.
"Come to think of it," he concludes, "you haven't said much about Annie." He narrows his eyes at her. "What is this about?"
"Ray Steele, don't you try to make this about me. This was always about you and that woman and you know it."
"That woman?" Ray asks. "Are you talking about Carla?"
"My son was just in the way. I knew that she was bad news the moment I saw her, but you… Harry talked about you all the time. Lance Corporal Steele this and Ray that! He idolized you! Then this happens and nobody has any answers. A training accident—that's all I get! One minute, my Harry is alive and well and starting a family and the next minute, he's gone and Lance Corporal Steele is living in his place—sleeping with his wife and changing his daughter's name—removing every remnant and memory of him like he didn't exist!" Ray's face has gone from angry to surprised and confused.
"What are you talking about?" he asks. He's just as confused as I am. "I never tried to erase Harry's memory. My…"
"Oh, save it! You and that woman moved on and raised his daughter as Anastasia Steele. Why not let her keep her name if you weren't trying to erase his memory?" Mrs. Lambert accuses. Ray looks at her and shakes his head.
"I'm wasting my breath," he says, still shaking his head. "Look, I didn't come here to fight with you. I can leave this room and never see you again and I won't lose a bit of sleep. So say what you came to say and quit pussy-footing around!"
"Did you kill my son!?" she screams as Ray.
Ho-ly shit!
Ray is clearly stunned. I think the words are swirling around in his head like he has to process their meaning. After a few seconds of silence, Ray's fists hit the table again and his voice echoes through the room like horrifying thunder.
He stands up so hard and fast that the heavy leather seat he was sitting in flies back like a folding aluminum chair and hits the wall behind him. Mrs. Lambert leaps from her seat as do I. Ray's eyes are full of rage as his shaking fists test the sturdiness of my conference room table. I can see the veins in his muscular arms through the sleeves of his shirt. He is livid!
"You want the gory truth? His body was so mangled that his meat was coming off in my hands! I held my friend! I watched him die! And his flesh came off in my hands! I begged him not to go! I begged him to fight! I knew he wouldn't make it, but I begged! Please don't die on me, Harry! Please don't die!" He's screaming. He's losing control. Where's the panic button in this room? No time to remember. Mrs. Lambert is backing away while I dash to the door and throw it open.
"Get in here! Now!" I yell to the security detail at the desk before turning back to the room to see Ray's white-knuckle fists banging on the table.
"You hateful, wretched bitch! How could you?! All these years! You thought I killed my friend—to have his wife! You hateful bitch!" Security couldn't get in that room fast enough for me. She picked the wrong time to ask that question. Not that there would ever be a right time, but definitely not now. Less than 48 hours ago, my father and I were convincing this man that he wasn't "happy" that his friend died. Now, that same friend's mother asks Ray did he kill him. Fuck me!
Security pins Ray against the wall and he is fighting like a bear and cursing like a sailor. He calls this woman every unkind, unseemly name in the English language. Raymond Steele is enraged and out of control. Mrs. Lambert is horrified and I can tell by the look on her face that she now knows that she has made a grave mistake. Too little, too late, Lady.
"Be careful!" I hiss at the guards. "That's my father-in-law. Don't hurt him!" Ray is fighting to get away from the now three men trying to hold him against the wall. If he gets free now, he just might kill this woman.
"Ray, listen to me," I say urgently, trying to get through his rage. "Ray, I need you to calm down. Think about Ana. Think about Mandy and Little Harry…"
"Little… Harry?" Mrs. Lambert asks.
"His son!" I hiss, throwing a hateful look at her. If she thinks she getting within a mile of Butterfly, she can fucking forget it.
"You stay away from my daughter! You stay away from my daughter, you wicked old witch!" Ray commands, confirming my assumption.
"Ray, I…" she begins.
"Shut up!" I say, spinning around to look at her. She is stunned. "Get out! Now!" There's nothing else she can do here but make a bad matter worse.
"I'm sorry… I…"
"Get out!" I command again. The sound of her voice just might set him off. She stands there, still stunned. "Get her out of here!" I command one of the guards standing by as backup. Mrs. Lambert is unceremoniously escorted out of the room and I turn my attention back to Ray.
"Ray, listen to me. She's gone. She won't be back. I'll make sure of it." Ray's chest is rising and falling madly as I make eye-contact with him to assure him that the threat has been neutralized. Still a bit crazed, he says, "Don't tell Annie! Don't tell Annie she asked me that question! Don't tell Annie!" He is shaking like a leaf.
"I won't, Ray. I won't. I won't say a word about it, I swear." He looks at me, his eyes full of angry unshed tears, and he nods. He is taking deep breaths trying to steady himself.
"She asked me if I killed him. She asked me if I killed my best friend…" The tears begin to fall.
"I know, Ray," I say in a calming voice.
"I asked myself that question a million times." Okay, now I'm shocked. "Did I desire his wife so much that I wished my best friend dead?" Whew! That was close.
"Ray, no matter how hard you wish, you can't wish someone dead. If that were true, there would be a certain pedophile six-feet-under by now, if now burned to vapor by spontaneous combustion. Besides, you didn't wish Harry would die and you know it."
"Not directly, no, but you and your father were right. I coveted Carla more than anything else in the world. Did I indirectly cause his death?" I look into his sad, broken eyes.
"No, Ray. You never wished you best friend dead—directly or indirectly—and I want you to stop talking like that, because you know that I'm right." Ray nods and finally breaks down in heart-wrenching sobs. The guards let him go and push a chair behind him so that he can sit down.
"I miss him," Ray sobs into his arms, face down on the conference table. "I have missed him every day for nearly thirty years… every day! He was the best friend I ever had!" I put my hand on his shoulder while he mourns the loss of his friend all over again.
"How did it go?" Butterfly asks as she hoists herself up onto the desk in my study later that evening. We've had some wild sex on this desk and her sitting here like this is causing some devious thoughts to run through my head, but she wants to know about her father right now. I put my pen down and turn to her.
"It was horrible. She needs to go," I respond.
"That bad?" she asks.
"Well, you won't get any argument from me. What happened?" I lean back in my seat.
"I really think you should let Ray tell you."
"Christian, tell me what happened." How do I do this without betraying Ray?
"She said some really terrible things to your father and it got really bad. He's asked me to let him talk to you about it." She's not happy about that answer, I can tell, but she nods.
"I guess I can respect that. How is my daddy?" I shake my head.
"You may have to give him a little time. This was hard on him." Her shoulders fall.
"He's my daddy," she says, almost sounding like a six-year-old, "I hate it when he hurts."
"That's good to hear." We both look at the doorway to see the voice coming from a slightly disheveled Ray standing in the door of the study. "I needed to see my Sunflower."
"Daddy," she says softly, leaping from her perch and nearly running to her father. He embraces her like she is his life's blood and buries his face in her shoulder. Behind him, Amanda stands holding a sleeping Harry in her arms. I walk around Butterfly and Ray to get to Amanda.
"I'm sorry it's so late. He's been drinking a bit and didn't want to drive, but he wouldn't rest until he saw Ana," she said. I lead her out into the great room.
"I know. It was brutal today. I can only hope that woman is gone." I say. She nods.
"I've never seen him like this. It's like she's broken him," she says looking past me to her husband.
"He's not broken. He just needs to process what happened today." I say, looking back at my study door and waiting for them to emerge.
"She must be a really horrible woman," Amanda says. "I just want to get her into a room by herself and scratch her eyes out!" I lean back a bit.
"Whoa! Remind me never to get on your bad side," I say facetiously. Amanda laughs.
"I can't help it. I love him and she hurt him. I want to see her die," she says a little too calmly for my taste. "Some people are just plain selfish and mean." I walk past her to the kitchen.
"Would you like something to drink? Some water or juice maybe?" I ask. She shakes her head.
"No… thank you, though." Harry has fallen asleep and Amanda places him gently back into his baby seat. I stand up and look at my study door. I look over at her diaper bag… or I should say bags.
"I don't know much about babies, Amanda, but you packed enough stuff in those bags to last a week," I say playfully. She looks down at the bags and chuckles a bit.
"Yeah, I'm a bit paranoid. I always feel like whatever I need is going to be left at home at that precise moment that I need it."
"How are you doing?" I ask.
"I'm doing better. The caesarean was no walk in the park and it was harder on me than I expected, but I'm doing much better now." She sits on the sofa next to Harry. "He seems like he's getting bigger every day," she says wistfully. "I hope he doesn't grow so fast that I miss it all." I sit on the sofa across from her with my bottle of water.
"I'm told that it moves quickly, but that you won't miss a minute of it."
Just as I am finishing my sentence, Ana and Ray join us from my study. Ray sits next to Amanda and she quickly clasps his hands. Butterfly crawls into my lap and I can tell by her demeanor that she needs the closeness. I don't know what Ray told her, but she is more than a bit maudlin after their conversation.
"I'm tired, Baby. We should get home," Ray says.
"No, Daddy. Please stay here. It's late and I would feel much better if you stayed," Butterfly protests.
"We're not that far away, Annie. It's not like I'm in Montesano anymore."
"I know, but… humor me, Daddy. Stay the night. Get some rest. You can go home right after breakfast." Butterfly and those big blue batting eyes will win many arguments throughout the course of our marriage.
"Okay, Annie, just this once. Does Harry have everything he needs?" Ray asks, turning to Amanda. She nods before throwing a look over at me.
"I haven't said a word," I say, putting my hands up in surrender and causing Butterfly to throw that "what's going on" look at me. I point to Harry's bags and let the volume speak for itself.
"Oh," she says almost inaudibly. Yeah, that kid has enough stuff for quintuplets! "I'll get the guest room set up for you. Christian, grab Harry's bags."
"I'll help you, Ana," Amanda says as she follows Butterfly up the stairs. I stand and pick up the diaper bags Amanda left behind while Ray retrieves his son.
"Ray," I say, stopping him when we get to the bottom of the stairs, "this is some pretty deep stuff I heard today. Have you thought about talking to someone?" He chuckles a little sadly.
"I've probably had more therapy than you have, Son," he says.
"Somehow, I doubt that, but I'll give you the benefit of that doubt this time," I respond before ascending the stairs.
A/N: Pictures of places, cars, fashion, etc. can be found at http://www.pinterest.com/ladeeceo/mending-dr-steele/
The wedding is right around the corner. See the event take form in the new album on Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/ladeeceo/mending-dr-steele-the-wedding-weve-all-been-waitin/
You can join my mailing list on the "Contact Me" page. Just click the link and it will lead you to a form to join the list.
Love and Handcuffs!
Lynn x


text: On Thu, 2003/11/20 at 04:11:50 +0100, Thomas Moestl wrote: > I think I've found the reason for this; the attached patch works around it. > > The issue is that the chip does not set ATA_BMSTAT_INTERRUPT, even though > it is DMA-capable. My hackaround is to add an interrupt handler for the > CMD646 that does only check this bit if a DMA transfer is in progress, I should add that this was observed on a rev. 3 CMD646 (aka CMD646U). - Thomas -- Thomas Moestl <t.moestl at tu-bs.de> http://www.tu-bs.de/~y0015675/ <tmm at FreeBSD.org> http://people.FreeBSD.org/~tmm/ PGP fingerprint: 1C97 A604 2BD0 E492 51D0 9C0F 1FE6 4F1D 419C 776C

subset: commoncrawl


text:
It seems that the release of the iPhone OS 4.0 beta 3 SDK is throwing up all manner of surprises: the iPhone HD could capture video at 720p.
The new iPhone OS 4.0 has already packed in some pretty decent upgrades, but mostly these have been minimal things like file sharing and music widgets.
But MacRumors has been digging around in the camera SDK, and found an interesting set of presets that hint at something much bigger:
The next level
While the former refers to the video capture resolution of the iPhone 3GS, but the latter is new - and new means possible extra features.
But before you get your berets and loudhailers out at the thought of being the next big thing in film direction with your iPhone HD, remember there are always a lot of bits of renegade code in iPhone OS SDKs for the 'in case we want to do it in the future' parts of Apple's strategy.
At least it's not long until Steve Jobs takes to the stage in June at WWDC - so we'll soon know all about it.
Via MacRumors


text:
Peace in our time.
Neville Chamberlain and Barack Obama
Israeli officials today claimed that Iran was upping its delivery of weapons to Hamas and Hezbollah thanks to Barack Obama's nuclear deal with the regime. Iran believes sanctions will soon be lifted so they are loading up their anti-Israel allies with new weapons.
Breitbart.com reported:
On Monday, Israeli officials reported that Iran has upped its delivery of weapons to the Lebanese Shiite terror group Hezbollah in the past few weeks. Channel 2 stated that the shipments have been made to both Lebanon and the Syrian side of the Golan Heights.
Advertisement - story continues below
In addition, the report stated that Iran was sending weapons to Hamas chiefs in Gaza and arming Hamas members in Judea and Samaria.
Channel 2 asserted that the ease in sanctions on Iran from the present nuclear negotiations would allow it to spend "billions of dollars" shipping weapons to Israel's enemies.
TRENDING: Black Lives Matter Pulls Gun on Truck Driver, Then Mob Hurls Bottles at Vehicles who Want to Get Through Their Roadblock -- Update: Gunman Identified - Jonathan Howe
The increase in Iranian arms shipments coincides with Monday's announcement that Russia will reverse an earlier ban and send S-300 missile defense systems to Iran. Israel is concerned Iran will transfer the systems to Lebanon and Syria, allowing Hezbollah to attack Israel with impunity and imperiling Israel's ability to strike back.


text:
When you file petitions with the Board of Elections, please ensure that you have fully complied with all of the requirements in the Ohio Revised Code.
Ohio Law, as passed by the General Assembly and Administered by the Secretary of State, requires the petitioner to assume the responsibility of ensuring
that the "part petition" documents they file are in compliance with the law.
Our office does not give legal advice.
The Warren County Board of Elections


text:
The Lord is my refuge,
My place to hide.
They chase and pursue me,
But there I am safe inside.
They would tear me apart,
Lord, keep. me safe.
I have no ransom,
Except by your grace.
I've done no evil,
No wrong in their sight.
I've harmed no one,
Why must I take flight?
Stand up, Lord! Get angry!
Face the wrath of my foes.
Wake up, Lord, Show fury!
Let them face what they chose.
If I've done wrong,
If a friend I've hurt,
Then let them catch me,
And turn my name to dirt.
The peoples come to you,
You reign on high.
Rule, justly and strongly,
Let them know you are nigh.
And give me my justice,
For you know I am right.
I'm innocent know,
I did not cause the fight.
Let the evil be gone,
The righteous in charge,
And the Lord over all,
With justice writ large.
The Lord is the shield,
For the upright in heart.
He is the pure judge,
Let no evil take part.
His anger is swift,
His bow is strong,
His weapons are deadly,
His reach is long.
Men conceive of evil,
They labor for pain.
They give birth to trouble,
Then do it again.
They set a trap,
And then they fall in.
Trouble circles around,
Their attack hits them.
Thanks to the Lord,
Who is ever right.
I will sing his praises,
Both day and night.


text:
Michael Ratner of the Center for Constitutional Rights attended accused whistleblower Bradley Manning's pretrial hearing at Fort Meade on Thursday and spoke about it on Democracy Now! yesterday. Extended excerpt:
It was one of the most dramatic courtroom scenes I've ever been in. I mean, for days we've been waiting to see whether Bradley Manning was going to testify, and it's testimony about the conditions he was held in really for almost two years, but certainly the part in Kuwait and Quantico. And we didn't have—we've seen him in the courtroom, but we didn't see him ever take the stand. So we're sitting in this small courtroom. There's all of these guys in these formal-dress blue uniforms. I mean, they look like those Custers or Civil Wars with those little things on their shoulders, epaulets. And then, all of a sudden, we come back from lunch, and David Coombs, Bradley's lawyer, says, "Bradley Manning will come to the stand."
And you could have heard—I mean, the room was just mesmerized by what was going to happen next. And he says to Bradley, "I know you may be a little nervous about this. I'll ease you into it." When Bradley opened his mouth, he was not nervous. I mean, he was—the testimony was incredibly moving, emotional roller coaster for all of us, but particularly, obviously, for Bradley and what he went through. But it was so horrible what happened to him over a two-year period. But he described it in great detail in a way that was articulate, smart, self-aware. I mean, he knew what was going on. He tried to make it so that they wouldn't keep him on the suicide risk, they wouldn't keep him on preventive injury [POI] status, where he didn't have clothes and all of that. And he couldn't do it. And he kept trying it, and they kept lying to him. And it was really dramatic.
What came out—what it began with was really his arrest in late May of 2010. He was almost immediately taken to Kuwait. And that's where—really where they got him in a way that really, for a period of time, almost destroyed him. They put him into cages that he described as eight-by-eight-by-eight. There were two cages. He said they were like animal cages. They were all—they were in a tent alone, just these two cages, side by side. One of them had whatever possessions he may have had; one of them, he was in, with a little bed for a rack and a toilet, dark, in this cage for almost two months. He was taken out for a short while and then, without explanation, put back in the cage, meals in the cage, etc., all of that.
And then—wait until you hear this. They would wake him at night at 11:00 p.m., 10:00 or 11:00, and his day—or night—was all night, and he was allowed to go back to sleep at 12:00 or 1:00, noon, the next day. So when we think about what happened to people at Guantánamo or sensory deprivation or what McCoy says in his books on torture, what are they trying to do except destroy this human being?
And he said, "For me, I stopped keeping track. I didn't know whether night was day or day was night. And my world became very, very small. It became these cages. And I'm a person," he said—this was really, I thought—all of us really were interested in it. He said, "I'm someone who likes current events. I take a broader view of the world." And he gave an example of the oil spill in the Gulf. And he said, you know, "When that ended," and he said, "my world all of a sudden was totally confined to these cages."…
And the image was just at the—as you're saying, Juan [Gonzales], was the opposite of what I would have thought going in there, of this sort of—of this person who couldn't make their way in the world, of who just, you know, was unable to really function. This person was articulate, strong, self-aware, as I said, and it was—and very sympathetic. I mean, very sympathetic. And not even a shade that he shaded anything, not anything close to, you know, mendacity, lies, nothing. This was incredible testimony…
[Then they decided] they're going to put him—he's always on POI [prevention of injury watch], but they're going to put him back on suicide risk. And they showed the video of—it's videoed—of him passing his clothes through the mail, through the little hatch, out of the prison. And then, that—
AMY GOODMAN: Like a mail slot.
MICHAEL RATNER: Like a mail slot. And that night, he's standing there stark naked. They only show you the top, but he's standing there stark naked in front of these really beefy, big marines in camouflage. That's the scene you see.
And then there's another video showing, asking—he's trying to ask, "Why am I here? What did I do wrong?" And they're lying to him. One of them says—one of them, who's—you know, who's playing like Mutt and Jeff, he's saying, "Well, you're a great—if I had a hundred, you know, defendants like you—or prisoners like you, it would be—you know, I would be great." They're lying to him all the time.
And what comes out, because as that video—as that clip you read, Amy, of the psychiatrist, is that it never happens, really never happens, that the head of a brig disregards psychiatric information like they were given about Bradley Manning. And here they did. And so, the question you have to ask yourself is, where was that order coming from? We know there was a three-star general involved. How much did it go up to the Pentagon?…
AMY GOODMAN: And this is, of course, all under President Obama.
MICHAEL RATNER: Right. Right, that's correct. I mean, this was—and that cell, when he's in that cell—I mean, when we talk about the light on, when he sleeps on that little bunk and his—he's facing—he has to face the light so they can observe him. If he turns over to avoid the light, they come in, and they wake him up. That's night. Day—what happens during the day? He's in that cell 23-and-a-half hours a day, maybe 20 minutes of what they call sunshine exercise, which is just nothing. And what can he do? Because he's on duty, supposedly, he has to either stand or he can sit on that metal bunk with his feet on the ground and can't lean against anything. That's 10 or 15 hours a day of what you have to call sensory deprivation
What's remarkable is that he still has this incredible dignity after going through this. But I think all these prison conditions were—sure, they were angry at Bradley Manning, but in the face of that psychiatric statement, that this guy shouldn't be kept on suicide risk or POI, they're still keeping him in inhuman conditions, you can only ask yourself—they're trying to break him for some reason. The [defense] lawyer, David Coombs, has said it's so that he can give evidence against Julian Assange and WikiLeaks…
[I]t showed us how this government—and when Julian Assange said yesterday on your show, Amy, this is really about the U.S. being on trial, that's what this is. This is how the U.S. treats—treats people who, in my view, have taken heroic actions around disclosing secrets of this government…
My opinion, of course, is the prosecutor ought to stop. Bradley Manning, you know, is someone who has disclosed some of the most important secrets of our government having to do with torture and wars and U.S. complicity in human rights violations.


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If you've got a serious chocolate addiction and you'd like to make it as healthy as possible, give this X-rated dark chocolate a try.
I call it X-rated because it is certain to not satisfy young, sugar-craving palates, but is appropriate for only the most serious chocolate craver. This is a way to obtain the rich flavors and textures of cocoa, the health benefits (e.g., blood pressure reduction, antioxidation) of cocoa flavonoids, while obtaining none of the sugars/carbohydrates . . . and certainly no wheat!
It is easy to make, requiring just a few ingredients, a few steps, and a few minutes. Set aside and save for an indulgence, e.g., dip into natural peanut or almond butter.
8 ounces 100% unsweetened chocolate (e.g., two 4 ounce bars)
5 tablespoons coconut oil, melted
1/2 cup dry roasted pistachios
1/4 cup whole flaxseeds or chia seeds
Truvia or other non-aqueous sweetener
Using double-boiler method, melt cocoa. Alternatively, melt cocoa in microwave in 15-20 second increments. Stir in coconut oil, pistachios, and flaxseeds or chia seeds. Stir in sweetener gradually, mixing thoroughly; sweeten to taste. (Note that the sweetener must be non-aqueous, as water-based sweeteners will separate in the oils.)
Lay a sheet of parchment paper out on a large baking pan. Pour chocolate mixture slowly onto paper, tilting pan carefully to spread evenly until thickness of thick cardboard obtained. Place pan in refrigerator or freezer for 20 minutes.
Remove chocolate and break by hand into pieces of desired size.


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El Cajon, CAHome Menu
Wieghorst Museum
The Olaf Wieghorst Museum and Western Heritage Center in El Cajon honors the accomplished artist who lived in our community for 44 years. Olaf Wieghorst, known for his magnificent portrayals of the nineteenth century American West, exhibited a remarkable affinity for the cowboys, the Native American Indians, and the settlers who helped shape this country's Western landscape.
The original home of Mae and Olaf Wieghorst was moved to the Museum grounds and has been designated a "Historic Landmark" by the city of El Cajon. The restoration of the home to its original condition, including landscaping, has been completed and the home is now open for public tours.
You can also arrange private tours and classroom visits, Tuesday through Saturday. By becoming a supporting member of the museum, you can enjoy many benefits such as free year-round admission to the Museum, 10% discount at our Museum Store, and invitations to our exclusive exhibitions, artist's receptions, and other community events.
The museum is located at 131 Rea Avenue, El Cajon, CA 92020. For more information, visit www.wieghorstmuseum.org or call (619) 590-3431.


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Yozakura Quartet - Ao Nanami
Display with or without her long scarf.
Kotobukiya presents a new Anime Statue, Ao Nanami from the popular Yozakura Quartet -Hana no Uta- !
Yozakura Quartet is a Japanese manga created by Suzuhito Yasuda, the story revolves around four teenagers: Akina, Hime, Ao, and Kotoha.
Each of them having their own unique abilities. They run an office called Hiizumi Life Counseling Office, where their job is to help and protect the townspeople of Sakurashin.
Ao Nanami helps to run the office and is the radio announcer of the town as well. She has cat ears that she uses as antennas, which she usually hides with a hat or headphones, and has the ability to read people's thoughts, she can talk to animals using this ability as well.
In this statue representation, Ao stands nearly falling over as she slips on a wet floor, on a specially designed base that completes the scene.
The highly detailed sculpt brings Ao Nanami to life like you've never seen her before ! Display with or without her long scarf as she's about to put on the rest of her uniform.
- Type: ABS, PVC
- Scale: 1/7
- Size: 22 cm
- Sculptor: ATOMIC-BOM suzu
- End of Preorder: August 4th 2014
- Expedition Date: Late November 2014


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Owners of 'dangerous dogs' lodge appeal
AN appeal will be heard next month against the decision to destroy two dogs which gardai succesfully applied to have put down claiming they are a danger to the public.
One of the dogs - an Alsatian - bit a garda twice in the leg as he was on patrol in the Ballinacurra Weston area of the city on September 22, last.
The Alsatian, which belongs to a nine-year-old boy, was seized by gardai in October after numerous complaints were made to Limerick City Council about the dog.
A Rottweiler was seized in the Southill area around the same time and last month Judge Eamon O'Brien ordered that both dogs should be destroyed after he granted an application made under the Control of Dogs Act.
The appeal will be heard at Limerick Circuit Court on January 25, 2012.


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Dozens of Unidentified bodies numbering over 40 were on Saturday found floating on Ezzu River at Amansea, a town on the border between Anambra and Enugu states on Saturday.
The situation generated panic across the state as people wondered where the bodies could have come from.
The Anambra State Assistant Police Public Relations Officer, Mr. Emeka Chukwuemeka, confirmed the story but said investigations into the matter had commenced.
Does the Nigerian Police have the Ability to Investigate Cases Like this??


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New Website for The Children's Garden
The Children's Garden is a day Nursery and Montessori Pre-school. We have designed them a brand new...Read More
18th July 2017
Website Build for Easier Print
Easierprint appoints Netmatters to help with to help with improving their eCommerce site. Based in...Read More
12th July 2017
Langmere Lakes Website build
In the heart of the Norfolk broads is Langmere Lakes. The award-winning holiday lodge provider, each...Read More
12th July 2017
Website Build for Oasis Care Group
The caring ethos delivered by the Oasis Care Home Group stems from a family run business with over 2...Read More
13th April 2017
Website Build for The Norfolk Lettings Compan...
Established in 2016 by Gemma Bailey, The Norfolk Lettings Company is a lettings business offering an...Read More
31st March 2017
New Website Build for AT Coombes
AT Coombes appoints Netmatters to help with the design and build of their new website. AT Coombes i...Read More
22nd March 2017
Site Re-launch for Northern Diver
Northern Diver appoints Netmatters to help with the re-launch of their eCommerce site. Northern Dive...Read More
21st February 2017
New Website for Townsend Solutions
Townsend Solutions Limited appoints Netmatters to design and build their website. Townsend Solution...Read More
13th February 2017
New Website for Robert Moy Estate and Letting...
Independent Estate and Letting Agents, Robert Moy appoint Netmatters to build their new website, tog...Read More
7th February 2017
New Website Oakdale Equestrian Arena Kits
Oakdale Equestrian Arena Kits provide specialised, innovatively designed equestrian arenas and turno...Read More
8th September 2016
New Website Challenge Finance
Challenge Finance is a specialised funding business that aims to take the hassle out of sourcing fin...Read More
18th August 2016
Heygate Farms New Website is Live
Heygate Farms is part of the UK's largest independent country miller. With over 5500 acres of farmla...Read More
14th July 2016


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More refinements
View open times for a different day of the week by selecting another day above.
Realestate.com.au is Australia's #1 home for rental property, listing real estate for rent in Hanwood, and other rental property listings by real estate agents in Hanwood. If you're looking to rent a property in Hanwood, we have house prices in Hanwood. Realestate.com.au can help you find rentals open for inspection in Hanwood, and houses to share in Hanwood. If you're searching for Hanwood property for sale or sold property in Hanwood, we can help you with your real estate search.


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I recently attended a meeting of pension advocates from across the country where I had the privilege of presenting on communicating the value of public service. The big takeaway from this meeting: there are still people out there fighting for pensions.
The people I met are passionate about the necessity of pension plans and strongly believe – as I do – that pensions are the most efficient way to promote retirement security for all people. I was refreshed and energized to be surrounded by so many like-minded people and incredibly pleased to find that there are others who are willing to stand up for this very worthy cause.
As wonderful as it is to know there are other willing participants, we need more warriors in this fight. There is a well-funded machine operating in state capitals across the country that want to eliminate pensions in favor of unreliable 401(k) plans. We are going to need more people on the front lines if we are to turn the tides in this battle.
If you want to help, I would encourage you to sign up for LAGERS' e-mail list so you keep up-to-date on what's going on in Missouri in regards to pensions. Also, check out what the National Public Pension Coalition is doing to help in this struggle. Then, make sure you visit our page "A Guide to Pensions" to equip yourself with even more knowledge.
This is a worthy cause, one in which we can prevail with the right approach and increased number of people willing to speak up.
Jeff Kempker
Asst. Executive Director, Member Services


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PlaneShader v0.9.7
PlaneShader is a high-speed 2D rendering engine, which at some point will have a lot of really cool features, but right now just has all the basics.
- Image manipulation
- Dynamic optimization
- Grouping and parent/child relationships
- Depth (z-axis)
- Advanced culling
- Tilesets
- Animation
- Sprite animation generation
- GUI system
- Masking
- Particle system (Not GPU based yet)
- Limited shader support as of v0.9
- Gradients
- Vista/win7 Desktop composition
Cooler features like a built in lighting system, per-image shaders and distortion will be put in later after I have a working demo of my game. I have not had the time to write a functional .net wrapper for the engine yet, sorry. Keep in mind that this is an alpha test, and while it probably doesn't have any serious leaks or bugs, I would not recommend using it in production.
Precompiled exes can be found in examples/bin.


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This is a follow-up to "NYC Community Media" Endorsements.
There's a little more variation between the five papers in how the election results are covered than there was with the endorsements, but in the Mayor's race The Villager and The East Villager are without doubt the worst:
The Villager
The East Villager
"Quinn Doesn't Win". That's how they announce the results of the election. Quinn didn't just not win, Quinn came in third place!
These headlines only make sense if you know (as readers of Quilas do) that NYCCM endorsed Quinn in each of their five newspapers. To someone who didn't know that, it would make no sense at all. That's some serious wound licking!
At least they acknowledge that a vote for Quinn was a vote for a continuation of Bloomberg. I wonder if they realize they did that?
And finally, has anyone ever seen a semicolon in a headline before?
They don't do much better in their other newspapers, either:
Chelsea Now
They name the winner this time, skip the second place contender, and run the story with a photo of Quinn.
Finally, they get it right:
Gay City News
There's got to be some connection between The Villager and The East Villager being the only papers in the stable to endorse a Republican candidate, and neither of them mentioning DeBlasio in their lead stories. I don't know what it is yet, but I'm going to keep an eye on this as the general election approaches.
I mentioned that NYCCM only endorsed Daniel Squadron in one of their newspapers (Gay City News). I wasn't sure why that was, but after seeing how they reported his race, I can see they must feel pretty ambivalent about him:
The East Villager
Does anyone know if that's Squadron's hand?
Their photo in The Villager (the only other paper where they mention this race) is better. The problem is that they're taking 6×4 (1.5:1) photos and using them in 8×3 (2.67:1) layouts. It worked with the Quinn photo above (if you look, the right and left edges are the same; it's the top and bottom that are cropped in the wider photo), and it might have worked in the Squadron photo if they had paid attention! Like this, for example:


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Insistence On Rules
"Jordan tells the other children off whenever they do something wrong. He can be quite rude about it."
Why does this happen?
- Children with autism have a strong need to control their environment. They rely on rules and routines to give their life structure and make it predictable.
- This can be an advantage, as rules can be used in a positive way to promote good behaviour. However, a child with autism may not understand that it is inappropriate to tell an adult every time someone does something wrong.
- Sometimes, the child with autism may develop their own set of rules or firmly-held beliefs. They may become very upset when other children do not play or act according to their rules.
- Deficits in language skills can result in the child with autism mimicking the language of adults. The child may even copy the adult's tone of voice and speech patterns. A lack of social awareness means the child with autism may tell others off much like an adult would scold a child.
What you can do
- If the child is constantly 'telling on' other children, he needs to be taught when it is appropriate to seek adult help. For example, you might tell him he can call an adult if another child is hurt or in physical danger, but not for name-calling.
- Alternately, place a limit on the number of times the child can tell an adult about rule infringements, say 5 times per session. Draw ticks on a wall chart so that the child can see when he has reached his limit.
- Social stories about rules, why others break the rules and telling on people may be useful. Social stories can be tailored to the individual child's situation.
Insistence on Routines
"Every morning when Dylan arrives, he goes straight to the blocks. He insists on making three trains before he'll do any other activity. Nothing that we say or do changes this behaviour."
Why does this happen?
- Children with autism have a very strong need for routine. This may be caused by their difficulty in predicting future events and anxiety about 'what happens next'.
Some children may insist on things happening in a certain order. Order gives them a sense of comfort and makes them feel secure. Any changes in routine threaten this sense of security and may cause anxiety.
- Some children with autism have a very strong desire to complete a task that they have started. The behaviour may be compulsive. They may stubbornly insist on completing the task, refusing to do anything else. Requests for the child to move on to something else may make the child very upset and anxious, and even less likely to co-operate.
- Children with autism can become very anxious or upset when transitioning from one activity to the next if they are in the middle of a preferred activity, this can lead to behaviours of concern or tantrum like behaviour.
- Children with autism have difficulty with sequencing of events. They may be reluctant to try new activities, especially if they do not understand what is expected of them.
- Many children with autism are perfectionists. They may carefully repeat a task over and over until they are satisfied with the result.
What you can do
- Firstly, decide whether it is necessary to change the child's routine behaviour. If the routine doesn't interfere with your daily program or harm anybody else it may best to wait and see if it disappears over time.
- If it is necessary to change the behaviour, you will first need to change the environment. This may mean taking the blocks away temporarily or changing the sequence of events, ie. start the program with outdoor activities or a song.
- A gentler approach may be to gradually introduce small changes into the child's routine. Use a kitchen timer to show the child how much time is remaining until new the task is completed.
- Give the child a transition cue to warn them a new task or activity is coming and some time to finish what they are doing and move to the next task, "finish blocks now, outside time next". Some children with autism may need the sign for finish or a picture cue.
- The child may be more willing to leave the task if he is reassured that he can return to it later.
It may help to show the child a visual timetable so that he knows when he is able to return to the activity.
- If the routine is comprised of a number of steps, encourage the child to skip some of these steps. It is a good idea to introduce slight variations to activities to help the child become more tolerant of change.
- Redirect the interest in trains (or whatever the obsession may be) into other activities. Encourage the child to draw or paint a train, or look at books about trains rather than build a train of blocks.
- Try using a visual timetable. the child may be overwhelmed by the number of activities available. It may help if he is able to choose activities from picture cards, placing them on an activity strip. As each task is completed he can post the cards into a special post box.
Insistence On Preferred Activities
"Brandon spends so much of his time playing with trains. He won't draw, paint or do puzzles. He doesn't want to try anything else."
Why does this happen?
Most children with autism have an obsessive interest; their play is often solitary and restricted by deficits in their imagination. This affects their ability to engage in pretend play.
- Children with autism enjoy doing the same things over and over because predictability and routine makes them feel safe and secure. They also have a very strong fear of failure; they may need more encouragement and reassurance than other children.
- Some children avoid certain activities because of sensory processing difficulties. They can have an intense dislike of noisy or 'messy' activities, eg. i.e touching paste, paint or play dough.
- Children with autism have little motivation to please others because they are unable to understand the thoughts and perspectives of other people. They may not be interested in pleasing another person. They do not understand why they should do something they do not wish to do. Children with autism are only interested in what is important to them
What you can do
- Encourage the child to choose activities by giving him picture choice cards. These cards are very helpful for any child who has difficulty choosing activities and moving from one task to another. You can download common images from the Visual aids page.
- At first, choose one new activity for the child and allow the child to choose the remainder. Give time at his preferred activity as a reward for trying something new.
- Try to use the child's obsession in a positive way, i.e. encourage the child to paint or draw his obsessive interest, look at books on the subject, etc,
- Have an occupational therapist perform an assessment and sensory profile to check if there are any sensory issues that make the child reluctant to try new activities.
- Find out what motivates the child and offer him appropriate rewards for trying a new activity. i.e. a train sticker if the child likes trains. See Using praise and rewards for more information.
Obsessive Topics
"Aaron has a great interest in trains to the exclusion of everything else. He reads books about them, plays with them and that's all he ever wants to talk about."
Why does this happen?
- Children with autism often have an obsession with a particular topic. This obsession may form part of a routine that helps reduce anxiety.
- If a child with autism talks obsessively about a certain topic he may actually want to talk to someone, but he lacks the verbal skills to simply 'chat.'
- A child with autism talking about his obsessive interest may show no regard for the listener's interest in the topic. It is common for children with high functioning autism to miss the subtle cues that would indicate a listener is bored by the conversation.
- Children with autism do not understand the feelings or thoughts of others and will not realise that everyone does not share their interest. They also do not understand "small talk" and will go straight to their topic of interest.
- Some children have an expansive knowledge of their obsessive interest that far exceeds their developmental age.
- Children with autism will go through a number of obsessive interests in their life time. Trains, dinosaurs, collectible cards are some examples. Anything that can be classified, arranged and involve a lot of factual value are usual topics of interest.
What you can do
- If the obsession is the child's way of coping with anxiety, first try to understand what may be causing the anxiety.
- It may be necessary to reduce the amount of time and frequency of the child's obsession if it interferes with his learning. Use a visual schedule to show the child when he can engage in his obsessive behaviour. Discourage the child from his obsessive behaviour at all other times.
- Allow the child time at his obsessive topic as a reward for completing a new activity or for good behaviour. Gradually increase your demands and/or reduce the amount of time the child can spend on his obsessive topic.
- Give the child praise and attention when he is not talking about his obsessive topic too!
Use the obsessive interest to help the child develop better conversation techniques.
- Invite the child to share his interest with others by talking to the group as part of a wider learning project. The other children will appreciate the child's knowledge and the child can feel proud to have made a worthwhile contribution.
- There are many social stories available about talking to others which can be tailored to the child's level of ability.
- Trains are a common obsessive interest, particularly among young boys with autism. This play tends to be repetitive; some children will copy scenes from a favourite television program, never varying or extending their play. With some creative input, there are limitless opportunities to develop a child's imagination and extend their vocabulary.
- You can comment on what the trains are doing – forwards, backwards, going slow/fast, pulling, stopping, etc. You can comment on the train's appearance – big, small, colour, shape, number of wheels and other features. And you can teach concepts like behind, in front, beside, next to, etc.
Using Toys As Objects
"I often see Tom playing with a car or truck, and he's just spinning the wheels over and over. He doesn't play like the other children."
Why does this happen?
- Children with autism have impairments in their imagination; they frequently display a lack of creative play skills. Their interests may be limited, repetitive and solitary.
- The behaviour of children with autism is often repetitive, rigid and inflexible. They seem to have a narrow focus on small details of an object, as if they are unable to see the 'whole picture'.
- Children with autism may have difficulty ceasing behaviour that is repetitive or compulsive.
- Children with autism may use the toy or object as part of a self stimulation routine rather than to play. I.e. tapping certain objects just to hear the noise it makes, mouthing or chewing toys for oral stimulation. Using toys or objects to flap, rustle or spin, rubbing toys on body parts for physical sensory stimulation.
- Children with autism do play, but often play is the acting out of what the child may have seen on a tv show starring their favourite character. Any deviation from the script by others will not be tolerated.
- Children with autism often prefer to play alone as interacting with others can be difficult.
- If the child with autism is playing with others they will often want to control the game and expect other children playing with them to conform.
- Children with autism often do not know how to ask others to play with them. They may take a toy or ball away from another child indicating they want to play or join in a game instead of asking.
- Children with autism may prefer to play alone as they often do not like people in close physical proximity.
- Often the child with autism will fear their toy may be taken away from them.
- Children with autism may lash out at others who are too close to them whilst they are playing with a favoured toy or object
What you can do
- Teaching the child with autism to play is an important part of normal social and emotional development and is very important. It can take many years of modelling and teaching for the child with autism to learn how to play cooperatively
- The child may resist an adult or child joining in his play, but this will be necessary to expand interests and play skills. Observe the child's play and copy what he is doing. If he always does the same thing, change it a little. Be enthusiastic – make new suggestions seem really exciting!
- Rather than asking questions, make comments about the child's play in order to expand his interest in activities. "My car is going very fast!" "Your car is red."
- If the child's play seems obsessive or compulsive, give a clear, verbal message to stop. You can also use hand signals to reinforce this message. Redirect the child towards play that is interactive and imaginative.
- If the child is obsessively mouthing objects seek an occupational therapy assessment as an Occupational Therapist can provide you with strategies and sensory stimulation program to overcome these difficulties.
When A Staff Member Is Absent
"When our assistant was away recently Laura got so upset that she refused to come inside."
Why does this happen?
- It is common for children with autism to rely on routines. Any unexpected change to their routine can cause a major upset.
- Children with autism may not be overly affectionate towards staff but will recognise a particular staff person as being able to meet their needs. If that person is absent the child may become confused and upset not knowing who to go to for help
What you can do
- Keep the same routine that would usually be followed during the day. Consistency will help the child predict in knowing what to expect next even if the staff member has changed.
- If staff plan on taking leave, give the child plenty of advance warning. Explain to her that everything else about her day will be the same; but her teacher will be different.
- To assist the relief teacher, make up an information page about the child with autism. Include a photo, likes and dislikes, any fears or phobias, obsessions, areas of difficulty etc.
- If a staff member is ill, have someone telephone the child's mother on the day so that she can be prepared for the change in routine and any follow on effects at home. .
- Develop a photo board with staff pictures, name and the day. That way you can visually show the child who is working on the day, show a symbol for sick or on holidays next to the absent staff member. The child may be more relaxed if another staff member they recognise is working.


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76% of businesses feel at risk from 'Bring Your Own Device'
BYOD has been defined as the use of employee-owned mobile devices, such as; smartphones and tablets to access business enterprise content or networks.
Employers are extremely concerned about allowing employees to use their own devices to access company information, as it forces businesses to wrestle with three key operational challenges:
- Governance & Compliance BYOD could cause you to violate data protection, regulations, trust, intellectual property and other critical business obligations.
- Mobile Device Management You need to manage growing workforce expectations around mobility. Your employees use many devices and they expect to use any device or application anytime, anywhere.
- Security If left unmanaged, BYOD can lead to loss of control, impact your network availability, and cause data loss. You need the right network access strategies and policies in place to secure your environment
- Improved employee job satisfaction
- Increased job efficiency and flexibility
- Cost savings as employees invest in their own devices.
Employers should consider the use of 'ring-fencing' data by keeping data contained within a specific app, as well as ensuring that, if the device is lost, the data on it is kept confidential and retained via a backup facility.
For more information about BYOD and to learn how we can assist you in creating a strategy, contact one of our IT specialists today. 0845 313 1111 firstname.lastname@example.com
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