text:
(Chapter 2 is the previous post. Chapter 4 appears tomorrow)
Why All The Women Are Upside Down
I looked at my alarm clock and saw that although the lurid green spectre of my Uncle Wilfred had been orating for what seemed an hour, the hands of the clock had not moved an inch. I put this anomaly to my dead relative and he raised his weary eyebrows and did not deign to answer, as if to say how simple minded to think that an avuncular ghost as your small hours interlocutor would be subject to the usual laws of chronology and sequence. Then with a shuffling impatience, he went on to tell me about the vision he had had, thanks to these obligatory supernatural powers of his, of my future over the next few years. What he revealed was wholly surprising to me, and it started with the touching picture of my daughter Sarah, an IT specialist aged twenty-five, encouraging me before long via her laptop in Manchester to join that ubiquitous if inevitably compromised digital phenomenon known as a dating site, and after initial reluctance my following her advice. By the summer of 2014 Joanie had been dead for four and a half years and Sarah by now felt it was high time I had found myself a lively, healthy and optimistic partner, especially as I was stuck upon a remote Greek island where few spoke English and I had only basic Greek. That said, the baroque and technical business of computer dating, inevitably obliged Wilfred to use words new and outlandish to him, such as online, internet, site and website, and true to form and being the phantasm that he was, he made ghostly blurs of these vocables with his own florid approximations. So it was that online often became 'onion' in his spectral mouth (hence 'onion dating' and later and in another context 'onion banking'), and the internet often received the interesting semantic distortion 'Hinder Not'. Site and website predictably became his unmusical perversions of shite and webshite, but as you will see below, he generally alternated or random shuffled the proper terms with his extraordinary transliterations.
As Wilfred explained to me: "The Hinder Not is so called because this wonderful and beautiful thing hinders nobody and nothing, son, but gives them access to damn near everything they want! Don't get me wrong, Joe Soap, I'm no Luddite. Not only did I have one of the first cars, a Rolls Silver Ghost no less, in Ballyferriter in 1907, I also by 1910 had not one but two telephones, meaning Ballyferriter 7 for the house and Ballyferriter 8 for my studio/retreat at the bottom of the garden. You know, I've been looking hard at this remarkable Hinder Not phenomenon and I say to myself it's bloody brilliant and I wish I had had it in my day. Dingle branch library in 1909 or even in 1959 was scarcely on a par with its go-ahead counterpart in hoary old Alexandria, and if you wanted to read about things like gynaecology or reproduction, even that of midges or of mice, you needed the signed approval of at least three priests all aged over eighty-five. These days at two clicks of the doings on your hotpot you can find out about for example seventeenth century Serbian poetry if you want, or an experienced medical specialist without the textbooks to hand, can research a rare and worrying cancer likewise. That can only mean what is good and wholesome and a fine thing for the human race." He paused, lit another atemporal Afton, then went on approvingly. "But that aside, daughter Sarah will soon be putting you on a carefully chosen website called Lovebirds Dirt Com. I trust that you have heard of it?"
I furrowed my brow. "Never in the memory of mankind."
"Well hats off to it, as it is a very fine shite. A bloody fine old shite, I'm telling you, Joe. Relatively speaking that is. Actually, between me and you, and to play The Other One's Advocate, it's not all that fecking great at bottom, it's just that all the rest are more or less abominations. Plus, Loveballs Do Come caters for those of a liberal, socialistic and educated background, meaning that thanks to Sarah and without too much delay, you will hopefully be finding women with admirably shared values as well as fine and strapping and rotund appendages."
Then Uncle Wilfred added something I found very startling, which was that having, thanks to his visionary powers, surveyed all the Lovebirds women of the age range I would eventually specify, the majority of them being British, on a bad day he was sorely tempted to have the preposterous thought that they were all the same person…
I was immoderately astonished. "That doesn't make sense, Uncle Wilfred! I know enough about dating sites to know there will be hundreds of photos of these women, all with descriptions of their likes and dislikes and their preferences in men. They can't possibly be just a Single, Lone and Pristine Female Superwoman or whatever you are saying they are. Apart from anything else, such a woman couldn't possibly date five hundred adoring men over a limited or even a limitless period. If for example she is a Londoner dating only Londoners, she'd get in a hell of a muck sweat from hurtling up and down on the smelly underground, and a horrible calcified scale on the roof of her mouth from imbibing all those sticky little cappuccinos bought for her by all those hopeful blokes."
Wilfred promptly temporised "Of course I'm employing hyperbole, but it is a measure of how truly confounded I am, and how baffled by some of the vertiginous statistics. I did a scrupulous and extremely accurate head count and I can tell you that regarding the liberal educated middle-class women aged between fifty-five and seventy-five that you Joe Soap will be approaching soon on Lovebots, no less than eighty-five per cent of them all practise Indian yoga and they also all listen to Radio Phaw."
I guffawed my hilarious disbelief but Wilfred snorted and said that statistics do not lie and his counting had been zealous and twice checked. As it happened, some of the yoga practitioners also doubled as yoga teachers, but the more significant relationship was that all those who did yoga also listened to Radio Phaw, though of course apropos syllogistic logic not everyone who listened to Radio Phaw also practised yoga.
I said to him, "You have a bloody queer way of saying Radio Four, Uncle Wilf. It sounds more like Radio Pshaw or Radio Paugh or even Radio Faugh. Why on earth is that?"
My green-eyed great-uncle surveyed me sceptically. "I know that you yourself detest much of that station's output, so I'm surprised you don't see the irony in my pronunciation. In my day it didn't exist of course, but was called the BBC Home Service and was audible even in deepest Kerry on my wonderful Bush wireless. Even then the early morning gasbags news fellers were all wearisomely stuffed and starched shirts with a brittle and hectic and risibly spurious joviality. There was also a surfeit of unfunny radio comedies laced with puerile doubles entendres, not to speak of fatuous and febrile quiz shows that would have bored a lonely nay suicidal anchorite living on a rock in the middle of the Atlantic. Then, God love us, there was the highlight of some folks' week and which still remarkably survives in 2014, that appalling and nightmarish phenomenon known as Desert Island Dick…"
At this stage I misheard and thought he had said Desert Island Discs, but as the bizarre anthropomorphic version was to appear later and in an elaborated and luridly dramatic form, it is appropriate that I state it now as he actually said it.
"Let us for a while set aside the Radio Phaw programming, Joe boy. Instead I invite you to come with me on a nocturnal tour of a few adjacent leafy avenues in the more prosperous parts of liberal and tolerant North London. Here in every approximately twentieth house or basement flat, there dwells a single lady aged between fifty-five and seventy-five who happens to be on Lovesballs Do Come. As I said eighty-five per cent of such solo yet definitely appetising ladies, are zealous yoga buffs who also happen to be psychologically and just possibly physiologically addicted to Radio Phaw. Now then, my boy, thanks to my inherent vaticinatory propensities, I am able as easy as child's play and without any prurient or Peeping Tom compromise, to see through their curtains and see exactly what they are up to every night of the week in their invariably scant leisure hours …"
I gawked and was about to say bloody hell, but he waved that aside and threw at me as if it were a thunderbolt "I have seen things that no man, whether alive or dead, should see pertaining to middle aged women viewed in their strange and esoteric anthropological pursuits, whilst aerially progressing along the boulevards of NW3, NW6, NW8, N12, N15! And what's more, Joe Soap, don't you be gullible enough to believe that W8, W10, W12, and SW7 and SE23 are any feckin different when it comes to their extremely eccentric floridity."
I had no idea what Wilfred Lawless was about to reveal, but he swiftly informed me that when he went walkabout or rather flyabout in the inevitably Lovebird-populated London areas, what did he see but that eighty-five per cent of the women he glimpsed through the curtains, as if committed to the same masonic solidarity, were all doing exactly the same thing.
I was confident he was about to say something awful, and shatter my wishful-thinking romantic dreams, so asked him nervously: "And what precisely would that be?"
"They are all standing upon their heads, Joe! Every bloody one of them! Every feckin one."
I gasped and sat up in my bed.
"All of these lady adepts are stood on their heads doing the yogic shirshasana. Every one of them whether in baggy track suits or very tight and not unbeguiling shorts, inevitably have their backsides in the air, as if doing inverse and arguably blasphemous homage to I'm not sure what…"
I scoffed and waved my hand at this algae-green fantasist who might conceivably have started on a downward decline into metempsychotic Alzheimer's.
"It's feckin true, Joe! Eighty-five per cent of these pan-London Loveberks Don't Come are stood on their feminine nappers with their straining behinds in the air, and not only that but they are listening to bloody Radio Phaw with those same attentive and receptive backsides!"
I sneered and said I had never heard such mendacious nonsense in all my non-transcendental puff. For a start, I said, how could they possibly listen to anything with their stone-deaf backsides rather than their ears. There was no auditory apparatus in the buttocks, no incus, malleus and stapes bones as are found inside the human ear. Women didn't have any such brilliant little bones inside their behinds, end of story, nor did they have any rump drums on the analogy of eardrums. Nor, and even if his ludicrous account were the preposterous case, would they all be sheeplike listening to the identical BBC radio station.
I threw back at him, "Even assuming your lunatic scenario, surely these Lovebirds women, even if all upside down doing shirshasana, would still be listening to Radio Phaw, I mean Radio Four, with their inverted lugholes. Why on earth would they resort to their backsides?"
At which point Uncle Wilfred halted his premonitory flow, and said he was obliged to give a substantial excursus, which as he put it was confirmatory evidence, if one happened to be a frustrated single Lovebird male, that is, that this notorious eighty-five per cent of Lovebird ladies had all the hallucinatory appearance of being the same one woman.
"Let me explain, my vainly quibbling little nephew. When you click with your doings on your hotpot on your Loveballs webshite, you will summon up a vast photographic gallery of mostly beaming single ladies in your desired age range. Should you then click on any photo of any fine girl that takes your specific fancy, you will be met with what is called her Full Pot or no do I mean her Potful…"
I took a whole two seconds to translate what he meant.
"Profile is it? Yes, and as well as her own profile, she will also state what she is looking for in the desired Adonis, Abelard or Andy or Angus from Wapping Town or Stow on the Wold or Strathpeffer. Once again, would you credit that eighty-five per cent of these ladies are all looking for the identical things in these notional and hopefully blemishless gentlemen partners."
I gulped anxiously, "What exactly would that be Uncle Wilf?"
"I am afraid it is a bit of a roll call, or hyper-demanding checklist, Joe Soap. These eighty-five per cent of Laugh But Don't Come girls would greatly prefer that you, Joe, along with all other male petitioners, be endowed with the following laudable virtues:
"Number one of the taxing requisites, is that you and your like be seen as being Comfortable Inside Your Own Skin."
I frowned and touched my own skin as evidenced by my right hand, and wondered whether comfort and interiority were how I might feasibly characterise its principal attributes.
"Of course, nearly all of these terms didn't exist in my day. And I don't know why but that skin expression makes me think of taxidermy and the business of herpetology, or alternatively of the not at all despicable culinary art of sausage making. Sausages as you know Joe, are customarily stuffed inside a skin, and mostly in a manner comfortable to the compliant viand, I would hazard."
I bristled in my bed and told my great- uncle I didn't really want to be a compliant sausage, and apart from anything else I was a strict vegetarian. Nor for that matter did I wish to submit myself to the grisly skills of a taxidermist, assuming he or she took me to be a dead snake or other lifeless reptile that needed to be briskly stuffed. Then I shook myself out of my cowardly state and retrieved my vestiges of common sense, and told my great-uncle what was really meant by that dermatological phrase.
As I explained: "All they mean is they want a man to be relaxed, at ease, not neurotic nor moody nor irritable nor restless."
Lawless pondered a while. "Not much to ask I suppose? Though truth to say it would have barred Dostoievsky, Flaubert, Mendelssohn, Winston Churchill, Leadbelly, Max Wall, myself Wilfred Lawless, and a few dozen other restless buggers as Laugh But Don't Cry applicants. Still, and to move on, Joe, those same eighty-five per cent of fastidious ladies, all say they would very much like Mr Perfect to be, now what was it they want:
"They want him to be, wait for this, Not Just Mental!"
I started and witlessly echoed, "Not just what?"
"To which I concur, fair enough, I wouldn't feckin blame them. After all who wants a slavering and possibly incontinent lunatic taking up valuable and intimate space in your bedroom or your kitchen or your scullery?"
I shuffled as I parried an attack of small hours cramp, then offered an emendation. "I think, Uncle Wilf, you mean 'non-judgemental'"
"Eh? Do I indeed? And who the steaming ballcocks is Judge Mental when he's at home? Are you sure he was ever called to the Bar with that kind of reputation?"
I looked at his sad, severe, yet lax and puzzled green face. 'That term 'judgemental' is possibly culled from the long out of print Schoolgirls' Bumper Christmas Book of Sociopsychology. There's also an identical Schoolboys' version of course. Non-judgemental if it means anything at all means the business of not passing judgement…"
My great-uncle snorted. "Do you say? As in the Sermon on the Mount. Judge not that…"
"Unlikely Uncle Wilfred, given that almost none of these ladies will have perused the Synoptic Gospels. In any case they don't like the sound of that sober and chaste and old- fashioned phrase, 'passing judgement'. Instead they like a hyphen and a suffix on the end as it gives them a certain semantic frisson as well a decidedly sensuous sometimes volcanic horripilation. They'd be a little happier I suppose, though not actually happy, if you were to translate judgemental as critical, hypercritical, carping, prejudiced, intolerant, that kind of thing."
My uncle seemed almost cheered by that. "Aha. So they want a nice and friendly lad who is tolerant and uncritical and unprejudiced, so good for them, why not? Yet why can't they spit it out instead of going for old Hanging Judge Mental with his black cap on his bastard's head? But look, there's another little puzzle of a word all these lassies use to describe a feller that preferentially will melt their heart. Any idea what that might be?"
I was tempted to suggest well-hung or stinking rich or having a summa cum laude PhD or being a yachtsman or an equestrian or a Kundalini yoga teacher, but simply shook my head.
"It's another term didn't exist when I was live and hale in Kerry. It's on the tip of my tongue now. It's something like Am I Pathetic? Or vacillations aside, on the part of some anxious and possibly less than lissom sixty-five- year- old gal who misbelieves: I Am Pathetic."
I raised my right palm to indicate immediate comprehension. "A term that is also more than likely from that collector's item, The Girl Guides' Bumper Christmas Book of Psychosociology. You get the same thing in the Boy Scouts' version too. The word is 'empathetic', Uncle Wilf."
"Humpatettick? That's some twat of a word, eh Joe? And who is this feckin Humping Hetty when she's all on her own-i-o at home?"
"Empathetic just means sympathetic, Wilf, no more and no less. Of course, there are those earnestly employing it in every fourth sentence, who would vehemently argue for its ineffable subtlety. But as they would all give radically different exegeses, supposedly rendering some minute and inscrutable nuance, it is yet another bollicks neologism that obfuscates and conflates disparate and unrelated things, and thus spells a living death when it comes to sense and truth and moral integrity, and sundry other trifling little nonsenses like that."
Wilfred squinted at me in a curious way. Then he tapped his sweetly odorous cigarette, and once more I was as entranced as an infant as the ash went flying back into the fag.
"She wants a lad who is sympathetic, more power to her, and why not? The problem is that yet again she can't spit it out but has to dress it up in its best Sunday suit, which is actually a tawdry and graceless and even feckless garment in disguise. But listen to me Joe. We've now come to the last one on the checklist for His Nibs Your Man, The Ideal Lad, and this one is very likely a winner as it is a species of highly visual metaphor. It has to do with wine or possibly the dreaded water if the lady be teetotal, and with the necessary receptacle in the way of a glass. Do you know what I mean?"
I sighed, "No inkling, Uncle Wilf. Does she perhaps want a man to be as effervescent and invigorating as a glass of sparkling white wine? Or as pure and blameless and harmless and possibly spiritless and reeking faintly of antiseptic chlorine, as in a glass of tap water?"
Uncle Wilfred shook his head and said that no this was to do with those eternally fascinating mathematical fractions known as halves, and it also appertained to how the ideal romantic soulmate ought to see the world around him. In short it was to offer the prospective Adonis the experiential conundrum: did he view the world as a glass half full, or did he see it as a glass half empty?
I puckered my lips. "Sorry Uncle Wilfred, but it is still a variation on the same thing. It is evidently drawn from the inestimable Schoolgirls' Bumper Christmas Book of Zen Buddhist Koans. And once again there is a Zen Schoolboys' version too. "
My uncle raised his spectral eyebrows. "Epistemology and its debatable paradoxes? Meaning that both statements are true, but that one signifies optimism and the other pessimism, and in the worst case a sour and snappish bastard for your boyfriend, instead of one that will put an alluring and shapely spring in your puckish and alluringly maidenly step."
I answered, "It's labouring the point, but if in say five minutes time someone with courageous convictions is facing third degree torture in a hellhole of a Bahreini prison, or ditto seventy years ago where a beautiful twenty-year-old Jewess was about to enter a Nazi gas chamber, those remaining five minutes will never be a glass half full, whether you stand on your head and do Hatha Yoga with your arse listening to the BBC World Service, or no. What I mean Uncle Wilf is that it's a wholly false antithesis these eighty-five per cent of Lovebirds folk are proposing. It's appropriate to be optimistic sometimes, and inappropriate and even dangerous at others. For example, if you are one of those eighty-five per cent, and you find out that your daughter's unpleasant boyfriend is molesting your beautiful four-year-old granddaughter, is it a glass half full or half empty that there has been no actual penetration to date? Alternatively, how about chucking the bloody glass away and flattening the bastard's so-called manhood with a cast iron frying pan instead?"
Wilfred stared spellbound and I blushed a little at the outburst, then wondered if I was the first person ever to blush in front of a ghost. He then took me by surprise by pointing out what was glaringly obvious, but which had wholly eluded me up to this point. What he explained was that there was one very obvious implication apropos all these liberal, late middle-aged women wanting their prospective men to be sympathetic, tolerant, uncritical and unprejudiced, not to speak of the same chaps always seeing the bright side of things, and always being relaxed and at ease with themselves.
I pondered hard but had no inkling.
"Why man, because they believe themselves to be all those admirable things too! Don't you see? If a Love Balls Come Quickly woman wants her man to be an eternal optimist, then she must assume that she herself is one, otherwise why would she demand it of anyone else?"
I gasped, "Fuckaduck, Uncle Wilf!"
Wilf waved his bog-green paw dismissively. "Likewise, and whether she realises it or not, she tacitly declares that she never ever passes judgement. She also genuinely believes she really knows how to be sympathetic at all times. She also subtly asserts that she is always at ease with herself. Not only that but she demands of herself all these sterling qualities, only in order to demand them of others!"
At that I felt a small lump in my throat. "The poor woman. What a bloody number! What a load to carry on your aching back. Talk about Herculean labours."
He grunted, "And that's how we get back to Radio Phaw being listened to by the woman's inverted backside! It's as plain as sago pudding, as far as I can see. This lovely but often lonely lass aged between fifty-five and seventy-five. spends all bloody day being perfectly tolerant and optimistic and uncritical in her job and in her leisure hours, not to speak of with her nagging parents and with her surly grown up kids, and with her horrible ex-husband and the rest, until in the end it addles her feckin brains, exactly as you would expect. As she goes about her daily business, you can see her muttering away darkly to herself all these demanding and myriad nostrums about what she has to do and what she has to be. Sometimes it turns into a lunatic word salad she finds herself suddenly jabbering. Comfortable Inside Her Own Shimmy. Pathetic Humping. A Glass Half Crazy. Please no, Judge Mental! Do you get it? In the end she is like Bob Hope in that fine little classic comedy Paleface. The tenderfoot dentist in the derby hat who has to face a horrible gunslinger and the townsfolk who overwhelm him with a surfeit of tactical advice. They say to him that 'That varmint bends to the left, so you must stoop to the right!'. Then they whisper, 'The same varmint often fakes reaching for his gun so you just sit tight where you are and don't you go draw'. Then they add the crucial rider, 'Unless of course he ain't faking it'. And so on. The dentist's brain gets very addled, so that he starts talking gibberish and ties himself in knots, but my memory seems to tell me that the gunslinger shot himself by accident in the end. This then Joe Soap, is why the poor lass who thinks she has to be a perfect woman in order to earn the perfect man, needs urgently to relax sometimes. And what better way can there be than by doing her nightly spot of yoga whilst also listening to her beloved Radio Phaw. The problem is of course that her brain is so addled by so much effortful perfection, that she simply cannot concentrate on her favourite wireless show, as it goes in one lughole and comes out the other. So there in her headstand shirshasana posture with the gateway to her brains, her earholes, more or less useless, she has allowed evolutionary adaptation, Darwinian and Malthusian genetic adaptation that is, to correct her disabling malady."
I stopped him there and asked what precise Darwinian adaptation was he talking about, given that such genetic determinants usually took inordinately long time periods to take any historic effect.
"The genetic matter of her backside taking over from her lugholes, of course! She's upside down and enjoying her Radio Phaw at last, but only because her behind has learnt how to listen like an ear! Meaning how to forge an adaptive neural connection to her brain. These auditory neural connections linking buttocks and brain are more or less invisible, Joe, unless you use the latest microscopy. Not that you're going to win Miss Nibbs's tender heart if you ask to poke around her rear end with a fecking great electron microscope…"
Once again I snorted loudly and derided his preposterous nonsense, and said that auditory neural connections between the backside and the brain, to parody Flann O' Brien, who of course Wilfred Lawless had read with much pleasure in the early 1960s, were all my bum…
My doleful relative counter-snorted, "Oh dear me. I can see you are a blinkered eejit when it comes to rigorous empirical science, as well as an amateur when it comes to having a truly flexible intellect. Let me give you a convincing analogy to explain what I mean. Like many a man with a sweet tooth I have needed to visit my dentist very often, with the net result I have a colossal number of metal fillings in my gob. Very well. One day back in 1962, I was snoozing out in my Ballyferriter garden when I suddenly heard the strains of Rachmaninov being broadcast very close to my earholes on the old BBC Third Programme. At which point I rapidly shook myself awake and thought to myself, that's fecking queer…"
I was genuinely surprised by his quaint philistinism. "I'd have thought a man like you would have enjoyed a genius of a musical modernist, Wilf. You were always the progressive as I recall, and you once said that Lutoslawski…"
"Pah! I didn't mean the great Russian whose piano music had me half way to this place, meaning the afterlife, as I hearkened to its transcendental echoes. No, it was the fact that I only had one wireless in my house and it happened to be in a Dingle TV and radio repair shop at the time. While, as I say, the music was only inches away from me, or more accurately was actually unarguably inside of me! But before, great nephew, you tut tut any more with your peevish contrariness, the reason I was listening to the Third without a solitary wireless in my house, was precisely because the BBC signals were being picked up by one of my feckin fillings!"
I leered at him very rudely. "Horseshit, Wilfred Lawless! You couldn't have convinced a superstitious Kerry peasant of that in 1895, the kind that a bullying priest might threaten to turn into a goat, and so convincingly that the credulous bugger always believed him."
"Like it or lump it, Doubting Joe Soap! Let me but add that it was with Filling Number One, Lower Molars, that I picked up Rachmaninov on The Third. Next to it was Radio Hilversum and a talk in Dutch about how to build a garden shed from nothing but plywood, grass and glue. On Filling Number Three, Upper Molars, American Forces Network were playing the revolutionary and intoxicating jazzman Charlie Parker who I'd never heard before but appreciated at once and without any hesitation. Adjacent on Filling Four and in English was a broadcast from Radio Sofia about soaring steel production in early 1960s Bulgaria thanks to the solidarity of the beloved proletarian people and the rooting out of treacherous bourgeois, anti-capitalist elements. Meanwhile on Fill…"
I snapped at him wearily, "That'll do."
"Well the conclusion is obvious enough, Joe Soap. If I was able to pick up a wonderful Radio Delhi sitar and sarangi broadcast on one of my incisor fillings in 1962, then fifty-two years later in 2014 a woman in London N12 whose brain is addled by all her self-imposed perfectionism, can easily listen to Radio Phaw with her evolutionarily adapted behind. Apart from anything else it frees her hands down below to get on with things that these days people like you refer to as auto-pilot activities. I believe you also call the curious phenomenon 'mouldy taxis' or the like?"
That had me stumped for a good five seconds. At length I surmised the near homophone of 'multi-tasking'…
"Exactly. While her evolutionarily adapted backside is listening to The Archers or Desert Island Dick or Money Box with Louise Bott-Hang or Just a Feckin Minute with Micklemas Parson… down below she is busy with one of her hands on one of those new-fangled phones playing a wholly mechanical word game called Drivel or Rubble or the like. No? Scrabble? I'll believe you. And with her other phone in her other hand, while her backside is busy with Radio Phaw, she is merrily doing her Cryptic Crosswords, a masonic kind of lexical game with pre-agreed and tortuous and wholly pointless rules, that is possibly rather less interesting than Hermann Hesse's Glass Bead Game, and for that matter even less riveting than watching one's kitchen sink emptying."
And with that it was as if he had tacitly declared that he would rest his case. I meanwhile could only think of that egregious eighty five per cent of Lovebirds women and wondered how the hell I could possibly find and put my faith in the hands of the remaining fifteen.


text:
I found this $2 intercom speaker box at Bring a few weeks back while the kiddo and I were hunting down parts for an upcoming project.
I challenged the Mister to find some way to turn it into an iPod speaker for the sake of our project, because though I knew I could probably muddle through and scare up some on-line diagrams and eventually research it into completion, he has years of practice building and repairing computers and I figured he could skip the research phase.
An hour later (maybe less?) he had removed the old guts, hunted down a scrap cord, and finished off the inside of the box so that my iPod wouldn't get scratched up. After that, it works like any other iPod speaker; just plug it in and turn on the music!
("Science is Real" by They Might Be Giants available for purchase on iTunes.)
I love that it sounds like an old a.m. transistor radio; just what I was hoping for. The iPod tucks up inside the back, the plate slips on to conceal it, and all done! I regret I don't have a step-by-step diy for you; the Mister was responsible for all but the idea, so I don't have any in-process photos.
Basically, he removed everything from the inside of the intercom box except for the speaker parts and the wires that attached them. Then he connected the ends of those wires to the wires + micro plug from a dead set of earbuds. After that, it's just a matter of plugging the iPod in to the speaker and turning it on! I tried to find a similar project on-line to link to, but this is the closest I came: an Instructable on making an iPod speaker from earbuds and some old computer speakers. Anything with a speaker in it probably works in a similar way. But admittedly, that assumption may be way off base.
Also: the knob and dial still turn, but they don't actually control anything. For the sake of our project, though, they'll lend that extra bit of detail that'll make it shine. Stay "tuned"! There'll be more about this in a couple of weeks. Until then, it's a total cliff-hanger. Bwa-ha-ha!
Linking Up to:
Creative Things Thursday
Junkin' Joe Fabulous Finds
Linking Up to:
Creative Things Thursday
Junkin' Joe Fabulous Finds

subset: commoncrawl


text:
In April 2016, eZelleron, a German startup, filed for bankruptcy protection (see H2-international, August 2016). Now, its former CEO, Sascha Kühn, was charged with violating accounting principles, committing fraud and deepening the company's insolvency, the Dresdner Neueste Nachrichten newspaper has reported. Kühn left Germany for the United States to head kraftwerk Inc. and eZelleron Inc. based in Silicon Valley. He is alleged to have filed balance sheets too late
eZelleron Partners with Infiniti
Buyers of "kraftwerk" fuel cell chargers may have to wait a little longer still. The manufacturer of the devices, eZelleron, cited an ongoing legal dispute about trademark rights and intellectual property as the reason for having to postpone shipments even further. Sascha Kühn, CEO of eZelleron, told H2-international that he would like to provide more details on the situation, but the charges which Kraftwerk, an electronic music band, had brought against the company just 5 days after its crowdfunding campaign ended
eZelleron Moves to USA
While some talk about the bankruptcy of start-up eZelleron from Dresden, Germany, others only say that the headquarters were relocated to the US. How much truth is to these rumors? First, what is certain is that the delivery of fuel cell device kraftwerk will be late, as bankruptcy proceedings for eZelleron GmbH began on April 18, 2016, at the local court in Dresden.
Fuel Cell Market is Growing
November 2015 saw the publication of the Fuel Cell Industry Review 2015, including market data and analyses for 2015. Since 2014, a team led by E4tech had contacted fuel cell companies around the globe, aggregated their supply figures and can now show the latest trends in the industry, much as Fuel Cell Today had done before its survey came to a halt. The following will present some excerpts from the review.
How is it going on with NOW and NIP?
For several months, speculation has been rife concerning the continuation of the National Innovation Program for Hydrogen and Fuel Cell Technology (NIP), or a possible NIP 2.0. To ensure that the ideas on the configuration of the revised program aren't rejected before it has even got off the ground, it is worth taking a brief look back: what, exactly, were the contents and goals of the NIP 1.0?
kraftwerk stays kraftwerk
eZelleron has won its case against Kraftwerk musician Ralf Hütter. On 16th April 2015, Dr. Sascha Kühn, Managing Director of the Dresden-based fuel cell manufacturer had to appear at Hamburg district court because the leader of the German electro-pop-band Kraftwerk had claimed ownership of the name rights for the "Kraftwerk" and had submitted injunctions in the USA and Germany. Despite Kühn's previous attempts to come to an amicable agreement the matter was resolved in the court room in


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Items where Person is "Brochard, Charlotte"
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Chane-Ching, Jean-Yves and Martinet, Gaetan and Panteix, Pierre Jean and Brochard, Charlotte and Barnabé, Antoine and Airiau, Marc. Size and morphology control of ultrafine refractory complex oxide crystals. (2011) Chemistry of Materials, 23 (4). 1070-1077. ISSN 0897-4756


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Minnesota CNC shop uses Heimatec speed increaser to up RPM and feed rate; significantly reduces cycle time on aluminum engraving application
Kurt Machining (Minneapolis, Minnesota) specializes in providing precision CNC machined parts, using state-of-the-art technologies and up to 5-axis machining. Since 1952, this 110,000 sq. ft. shop has provided its customers in a variety of high-quality demand markets with components and welded assemblies. These include aerospace, defense, semiconductor, energy, automotive and more. A very flexible shop, Kurt produces parts ranging from micron-sized semiconductor components to 2000 lb. workpieces for the defense sector.
On a recent project, where 5000 pieces of 6060 aluminum were to be engraved on a Hwacheon horizontal turning center, Kurt Engineering Manager, Shawn Eisenshank, had concerns over the cycle times. He turned to his local tooling distributor, Abrasive Specialists, Inc. (ASI) and their tooling partner, Platinum Tooling, for suggestions. Leigh Kinnan of ASI worked with the local Platinum Tooling representative, Cody Papenfus, to test run a Heimatec speed increaser, with the goal of increasing RPM on the machine and decrease part cycle time, with a documentation of the potential savings. After performing the calculations in consultation with Preben Hansen, president of Platinum Tooling and exclusive importer for Heimatec products in North America, it was determined a significant savings could be realized.
Detailing the application, ASI demonstrated that a 1:3 speeder, increased the spindle RPM enough that when coupled with the nearly 3X increase in the feed rate on the machine, would produce a significant improvement to the current machining cycle. Calculating the reduction in machining cost per part and factoring the cost of the speed increaser, it was determined the use of the Heimatec product onboard the Hwacheon turning center would result in a 9X cost saving for the customer, in the first year's production run on this engraved aluminum component.
As Shawn Eisenshank notes, "This is one of those classic scenarios, where the theoretical has proven out in practice, as we've seen exactly the results ASI and Platinum Tooling proposed in their test calculations."
Cody Papenfus of Hexis in Plymouth, Minnesota, who is the area rep for Platinum Tooling adds, "We say we put our expertise to work at the spindle of the machine and, in this case, that's exactly what happened. The speed increaser performed as expected, the customer got the results promised and it was a win-win, for all. We serve our customers for the long haul and successes like this one are the big reason."
Kurt Machining performs both vertical and horizontal milling and turning, complex assemblies and weldments, delivering with rapid lead times. CAD compatibility is offered for web-based communications and fully interactive manufacturing engagement for its customers. The company performs contract manufacturing in high quantity as well as prototyping for new designs. Kurt also performs impact extrusion, heat treating and cleanroom operations including ultrasonic cleaning of stainless steel and aluminum components and assemblies, with cleaning to Class 1000 with 100 protocol. The company is ISO 9001:2015 and AS9100D plus NADCAP Certified. Kurt Machining is quality certified by the U.S. Government to MIL-Q-9858 and MIL-I-45208.
For further information on the application discussed in this story, please contact:
Shawn Eisenshank, Engineering Manager
5280 Main Street NE
Minneapolis, MN 55421
Phone: 763-572-1500
Fax: 763-572-9878
Web: www.kurtmachining.com
Preben Hansen, President
16 E. Piper Lane
Suite 128
Prospect Heights, IL 60070
Phone: 847-749-0633
Fax: 847-749-2445
Web: www.platinumtooling.com
Email: email@example.com
Platinum Tooling Technologies, Inc. is the exclusive importer for North America of quality tooling from around the globe. The company currently represents Heimatec live tools and angle heads, Tecnicrafts collets and guide bushings for Swiss machines, Henninger spindle speed increasers for machining centers, AMF marking and cleaning tools plus Suzuki Swiss speed increasers. In addition, Platinum Tooling engineers application-specific specialty tools at its location in the Chicago area. The company is led by its president, Preben Hansen, a longtime veteran of the tooling industry and an acknowledged authority on machine tooling and accessories.Continue reading
The following interview was conducted with Platinum Tooling's President, Preben Hansen, at the company's headquarters in Prospect Heights, Illinois. Hansen discusses the beginnings of Platinum Tooling, the transition period, changes, product lines and the future.
When asked what motivated him to start the company, Hansen said that it was a natural progression and that "As we added additional machine tool accessory lines to our offering, it made sense to have a name that encompassed more than just Heimatec." He added "In our industry, it is common to have one importer representing multiple product lines." Hansen was very pleased with the transition from Heimatec Inc., to Platinum Tooling. "As always, our main concern is the customer; their understanding of our continued presence and new image in the marketplace was essential to our success." Furthermore, he was grateful for the acceptance of their customers during this transition period.
Regarding future changes at Platinum Tooling, Hansen isn't going to change his main goal: making sure customer needs are met. He explained "As always, I will continue to look for new products to complement our current product offering in an effort to satisfy the growing needs of our customers. Since the transition to Platinum Tooling, we have done our best to assure our customers that we will continue to promote and support the Heimatec tooling lines as we did in the past." Hansen clarified by saying "Heimatec tooling will always be our core business. We have several other complimentary lines including Tecnicrafts collets & guide bushings for the Swiss market, Henninger spindle speed increasers for machining centers, AMF marking tools, cleaners, and radio sensors plus Suzuki IB spindle speeders for Swiss machines."
As for custom tooling, Hansen assures customers that Platinum Tooling will continue offering this service. "Our current manufacturers are all excellent at engineering solutions for special applications."
Lastly, Hansen expressed excitement about the future of Platinum Tooling, saying "We are eager to see how the company will grow and evolve."
For more information, please contact:
Preben Hansen, President
Platinum Tooling Technologies, Inc.
16 East Piper Lane, Suite 128
Prospect Heights, IL 60070
Platinum Tooling, the importer of live tools, angle heads, marking tools, Swiss tools and multiple spindle tools manufactured by various global suppliers, is now importing Henninger Speed Increasers for North America. The announcement was made by company president, Preben Hansen, at headquarters in Prospect Heights, Illinois, near Chicago.
Henninger is a manufacturer of specialized equipment and precision machine tool accessories. Spindle speeder types including mechanical, air and electric motor driven styles are all available.
These speed increasers help maximize productivity by achieving a higher spindle rpm that is required for certain applications in today's marketplace. Small diameter tools require rpms that are sometimes not possible to reach with existing machine tools. In addition, they allow for less wear and tear on the machine's spindle when it is not required to run at its maximum rpm.
Mechanical speeders are available with up to a 1:8 gear ratio and a maximum speed of 50,000 rpm. Air speeders can run continuously at up to 80,000 rpm and high frequency motor spindles can maintain up to 80,000 rpm with high torque, and have variable speed options.
Many of the speeders have automatic tool change capabilities and are modular in design to offer the customer greater flexibility.
Henninger also manufactures custom angle heads, live centers, face drivers, and live chucks. In addition, Henninger is the premier manufacturer for center grinding machines.
To learn more about these Henninger products as well as the Heimatec, Tecnicrafts, and AMF lines available through Platinum Tooling, please visit the company website.
For more information, please contact:
Preben Hansen, President
Platinum Tooling Technologies, Inc.
16 East Piper Lane, Suite 128
Prospect Heights, IL 60070
Longtime tooling authority Preben Hansen to lead new company
Heimatec Inc., a market leader in live tooling for the North American machine tool industry, announced today that it will become part of a new corporation, Platinum Tooling Technologies, Inc. The announcement was made by the longtime president of Heimatec, Inc., Preben Hansen, who will lead the new company as its president and COO, holding a majority stake in its ownership. Mr. Hansen is a 30-year veteran and recognized authority in the machine tool industry for tooling and its applications.
"I'd been pondering this move for some time and, after considerable discussions with Heimatec GmbH, Tecnicrafts Industries, Henninger GmbH, and other principals we represent, it seemed time to make this decision and move forward with the new company," said Hansen, speaking from the Heimatec North American headquarters in Prospect Heights, Illinois, just outside Chicago.
Hansen continues, "The new company will enable us to serve our existing and new market opportunities in a more pro-active fashion." He cited the recent expansion of the Chicagoland facility, with added office and warehouse space, allowing more staff to be hired and greater inventories to be carried on all lines to be represented by the new company. The Heimatec products will continue to be our main focus but we are fully committed to the growth and success of Tecnicrafts and our other product lines.
Other developments in the works, Hansen states, include additional lines of machine tool accessories and related machine components. Heimatec Inc. has been adding various other brand names to its roster over the years, most recently the very successful guide bushing and collet line from the global supplier Tecnicrafts Industries. Tecnicrafts manufacture products made specifically for the Swiss machine tool market. Platinum Tooling will make a further investment to this line with extensive inventory and the purchase and installation of a grinding machine. Bringing this process "in house" will improve delivery times and strengthen market position.
Additional personnel and sales representative firms are being sought to augment the existing team, Hansen notes. "Nothing will change in our interaction with current customers, reps and distributors. We'll be enhancing our capabilities, however, with more application engineering, service technicians and staff dedicated to the specific tooling lines we represent. In that way, our value proposition and overall service package to the industry will rise to new heights."
A new website has been developed for Platinum Tooling Technologies, Inc., as well, www.platinumtooling.com.
For more information on all these developments, please contact:
Preben Hansen, President
Platinum Tooling Technologies, Inc.
16 East Piper Lane, Suite 128
Prospect Heights, IL 60070
Andreas Maier products now offered by live tooling importer
Heimatec Inc., the North American importer of precision live tools, angle heads and multi-spindle drill heads, announces immediate availability of marking and cleaning tools from its European partner Andreas Maier, under the AMF brand. The announcement was made by the president of Heimatec Inc., Preben Hansen. "This development brings additional products to our current customers and responds to the market needs for quality marking and cleaning tools for workpieces in CNC machining," he observed.
AMF marking tools are used for the permanent marking of workpieces made from all types of metal and thermoplastic substrates. They are typically mounted in Toolholders for use in the spindle of a CNC machine tool. Marking surfaces is achieved by a combination process of pressure and material displacement. These tools can function with or without rotation and usually without height adjustment on the spindle, resulting in a high-speed, highly efficient marking process and no degradation of the substrate. Very thin material as well as cylindrical workpieces can be easily marked, using AMF tools. Cost savings are said to be substantial, compared to conventional marking or labeling. Key design feature of the AMF marking tool is its needle, which achieves the surface marking with clarity and at high speed.
AMF cleaning tools are used for the cleaning of workpieces, tooling and the interior of CNC machines. They are typically clamped in Toolholders and mounted directly onto the machine spindle. Using through spindle coolant or compressed air, the cleaning tool removes swarf and other debris from workpieces, clamping tools, rotary tables and other fixtures before the next workpiece blank is loaded. The machine spindle can remain stationary or in slow rotation mode during the cleaning process. Models are available in horizontal or vertical styles to suit the machine spindle configuration and feature adjustable jet nozzles for precise cleaning and coolant or compressed air conservation. Kits can be furnished complete with tools, gauge and all fastening hardware or sold separately.
These new products from Heimatec Inc. are available immediately and are described in the literature available on request or at the company website.
For further information and literature on this new product line, please contact:
Preben Hansen, President
Heimatec Inc.
16 East Piper Lane, Suite 129,
Prospects Heights, IL 60070
Tel: 847-749-0633
Email: email@example.com
Heimatec Inc. in Prospect Heights, IL, near Chicago, serves its growing North American customer base with an extensive inventory of machine tool accessories. Its experienced staff is dedicated to providing the most innovative tooling and technology. Heimatec serves the auto, aero, medical, woodworking, composites and other industries, as well as an ever-increasing number of machine tool OEMs worldwide, through its network of manufacturers' representatives.Continue reading
Market leader in live tooling can supply complete range of products for new Haas BMT Turret
Heimatec, a market leader in live tooling for the North American machine tool industry, announced today that it has an extensive line of tooling available for the new Haas BMT turret.
The line includes a variety of driven tools (axial and radial drilling & milling heads) as well as static tool holders. Heimatec also offers specialty tools for this turret including multi-spindle, adjustable angle, and speed multipliers. For detailed download catalogs, please see the Heimatec website at: http://heimatecinc.com/catalogs/
Heimatec already offers the most complete line of live tools available in the machine tool industry today, with over 40,000 designs in its database. These BMT turret tools are already proven and in production allowing Heimatec to provide immediate support and the most innovative tooling technology possible.
Heimatec North American distribution headquarters are located in Prospect Heights, Illinois (Chicagoland area) with world headquarters and all manufacturing based in Germany. A team of manufacturers' representatives covers the North American market for Heimatec.
For more information please contact:
Preben Hansen, President
Heimatec Inc.
16 East Piper lane, Suite 129,
Prospects Heights, IL 60070
Tel: 847-749-0633
Information-packed website features complete line of standard, machine brand specific and custom tooling
Heimatec, a market leader in live tooling for the North American machine tool industry, announced the rollout of its new website at www.heimatecinc.com.
The new site offers an in-depth look at the company's extensive lines of standard and machine brand tooling, including the new Tecnicrafts line of collets and guide bushings, specifically designed for the Swiss machine tool market.
The site includes dozens of downloadable PDF catalogs, as well as an online tool search feature and videos of various live tool demonstrations. A "Contact" page offers customers the option to inquire directly from the site, and easy access to local manufacturer's representative information. The site is easy-to-navigate and is mobile phone friendly.
Also included in the website is a dropdown section on custom designed tooling, which Heimatec offers in addition to its standard tooling and machine brand specific line. Tooling experts work directly with customers to design solutions to suit specific requirements for all CNC lathes, helping to solve the most challenging applications in multiple markets served by the company.
Heimatec tools offer the highest precision and most advanced technology available in the machine tool accessory market. The company is acknowledged as a world leader in live tools, angle heads and multi-spindle drill heads. With over 40,000 designs in its database, Heimatec offers the widest range of live tooling in the industry.
Heimatec North American distribution headquarters are located in Prospect Heights, Illinois (Chicagoland area) with world headquarters and all manufacturing based in Germany. A team of manufacturers' representatives covers the North American market for Heimatec.
For more information please contact:
Preben Hansen, President
Heimatec Inc.
16 East Piper lane, Suite 129,
Prospects Heights, IL 60070
Tel: 847-749-0633
Effective immediately, Heimatec Inc., will be selling products from Tecnicrafts Industries, a manufacturer of collets and guide bushings for Swiss Type CNC Lathes.
Tecnicrafts is an ISO 9001:2015 Certified company, with its manufacturing plant in South India with state of the art machine tools and 115 technicians. Tecnicrafts collets and guide bushings are exclusively used for Swiss Turning applications on Citizen-Cincom, Tsugami, Star, Tornos, Hanwha, Traub, Hardinge, Manurhin-Kmx, Miyano, Nomura and other popular machine brands and are widely recognized and accepted by customers in Europe and Asia.
COLLETS: The collets are offered in Steel and Carbide lined versions with Grooved, Smooth, Serrated Bores in Standard and Long Nose Types. Tecnicrafts produces special collets such as V-Line, U-Line, Over-grip Collets, for positive gripping of delicate parts without marks. The Ultra Precision (XP) W-Type collets are available for tool grinding applications on machines like Rollomatic, Anca, Ewag and others. Other collets offered includes 5C and 16C types.
GUIDE BUSHINGS: Tecnicrafts Guide Bushings are generally offered in carbide lining having Super Finish bore with roughness value of less than 0.4 micron. These special guide bushings include U-Line, Extended Nose and Long Carbide Bores (Max Land) for special turning applications.
BAR FEEDER COLLETS: The Bar feeder collets are available for various bar feeders like Fedek, LNS, Ikura-seiki, Iemca, Citizen, FMB and other popular brands.
All Collets and Guide Bushings are offered in Standard and Ultra-Precision grades. The bore profile includes Round, Square, Hexagon, Rectangular and Profile bores as per customer drawings.
Heimatec Inc., with its expertise in precision tooling and having customer representatives throughout North America, is ready to meet the work holding tool needs for Swiss Turning applications with this new Tecnicrafts product line on its roster of quality tooling.
For more information please contact:
Preben Hansen, President
Heimatec Inc.
16 East Piper lane, Suite 129,
Prospects Heights, IL 60070
Tel: 847-749-0633
New catalogs for Mori Seiki, TSUGAMI and Miyano machines offer standard tools from live tooling leader
Heimatec, a market leader in live tooling for the North American machine tool industry, has released a series of four new catalogs showcasing the company's lines of machine brand specific tooling.
Already offering the most complete line of live tools available in the industry, with over 40,000 designs in its database, Heimatec machine brand specific tooling includes products for the following popular brands:
Heimatec sets the standard for the highest precision and most advanced technology in the machine tool accessory market. The company is acknowledged as a world leader in live tools, angle heads and multi-spindle drill heads.
In addition to its standard tooling and machine brand specific line, Heimatec also offers custom designed tooling. Heimatec tooling experts work directly with customers to design solutions to suit specific requirements for all CNC lathes, helping to solve the most challenging applications in multiple markets served by the company, ranging from orthopedic devices to oil & gas drilling equipment.
Heimatec North American distribution headquarters are located in Prospect Heights, Illinois (Chicago) with world headquarters plus all manufacturing based in Germany. A team of manufacturers' representatives covers the North American market for Heimatec.
Visit Heimatec at IMTS 2016, Booth # W-2054 in Chicago.
For more information or to receive a PDF copy of the new dedicated tool catalogs, please contact:
Preben Hansen, President
Heimatec Inc.
16 East Piper Lane, Suite 129
Prospect Heights, IL 60070
Here it is – heimatec's 2015 Show Schedule!
Check out all the places you'll be able to learn about the heimatec advantage this year (Click the show name to see more about heimatec at the respective show):
February 24-26 | HOUSTEX Booth 209 | Houston, TX
March 17-20 | HAAS-Tec | Oxnard, CA
April 1-2 | Northwest Machine Tool Expo Booth TBA | Portland, OR
April 21-23 | PMTS Booth 936 | Columbus, OH
May 12-14 | EASTEC Booth 5137 (with Tom Paine Group) | West Springfield, MA
June 15-17 | WMTS Booth 129 (with Expertech Distribution & Technology) | Edmonton, AB
September 28-October 1 | CMTS Booth TBA | Toronto, ON
For further information, please contact:
Preben Hansen, President
16 E. Piper Lane Suite 129
Prospect Heights, IL 60070
Phone: 847-749-0633
Fax: 847-749-2445
Email: email@example.com
Website: www.heimatecinc.com


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Sunday, November 18, 2012
I WILL Survive....Turkey Style
24 heart notes:
- Lisa Mattes said...
Have a fantastic Thanksgiving, Heather!!! Thanks for the fun freebies, as always! I, too, will be in school for two days and am counting down. :)
Growing Firsties
- November 18, 2012 at 2:24 PM
- First Grade Carousel said...
Have a great Thanksgiving. We have half days with the children and then conferences this week. I love your videos ~ they put a smile on my face. I think the children are going to love singing 'Turkey on the Farm" tomorrow. Thanks :)
- November 18, 2012 at 2:36 PM
- Nancy VandenBerge said...
Loooove the Turkey on the farm song!! Can't wait to use it with my kiddos next year!! :) I am thankful for you!!
- November 18, 2012 at 3:35 PM
- Erica said...
Enjoy your break! We have two days, too.
Sprinkles to Kindergarten
- November 18, 2012 at 3:39 PM
- Kelly Thigpen said...
Thanks so much for the fun ideas!! Your blog is so fun and inspiring! Thanks for sharing...
Enjoy your week as I feel your pain on two days away from thanksgiving time!!
- November 18, 2012 at 4:40 PM
Oh my! What fun! Thanks for sharing those great videos! Happy turkey day!
An Apple a Day in First Grade
- November 18, 2012 at 5:03 PM
- Miss Trayers said...
Those videos are too cute! I have 2 more days left too, but I'm kind of glad because we still have some holiday projects to finish up. Thanks for sharing!
- November 18, 2012 at 5:10 PM
- Tania said...
Loved the videos! I have a three day week and I will survive :
My Second Sense
- November 18, 2012 at 6:36 PM
- Jill said...
Love the videos, I got a real chuckle out of them.. Hope your two days go well and rapidly, thanks for the song. Happy thanksgiving!
- November 18, 2012 at 7:09 PM
- Owl Things First said...
I love everything about this post except that I have to teach two more days, too! I'm actually happy about it because I can use the song your sharing...I'm thankful for you!
- November 18, 2012 at 7:47 PM
- Chrissy said...
I am laughing out loud! Thanks for the activities and the video links!
We work through Wednesday; do you feel better now? :-)
- November 18, 2012 at 7:49 PM
- Maria Eshman said...
Thanks for the Freebies, Heather!
I'm in with you until Tuesday, but feeling sorry now for Chrissy who has to teach until Wednesday.
I'm thankful for your beautiful blog!
- November 18, 2012 at 7:58 PM
- Grade School Giggles said...
Thanks for sharing the cute song and funny videos. I'm off for the holidays already, but I am pinning this post to my November board so I can find it again next year. Thanks again for sharing.
✿Grade School Giggles✿
- November 18, 2012 at 8:16 PM
- Unknown said...
I am in LOVE with your blog! I was in tears reading it. Such an inspiration - and so true. Edward Scissorhands exists in my room too, and booger eating, booty scratching, tooting little people. I love it! I am adding you to my favorite list.
So happy to find your blog!
- November 18, 2012 at 11:36 PM
- Miss Cosby said...
Haha, those turkeys made me smile!
You Might Be a First Grader...
- November 19, 2012 at 6:44 AM
- Mrs. Griffith said...
Love the videos! You can do it : )
For the Love of First Grade
- November 19, 2012 at 6:52 AM
- First Grade Fancy Pants said...
These videos are too funny! Thanks for stopping by my blog! I still have tomorrow left before we get out! So ready! We can do it!
- November 19, 2012 at 3:27 PM
- Best in First said...
Hey Heather! Your turkey's look great! All of this Thanksgiving stuff is making me need more time!! I looked at some stuff today and just had to say I can't and put it down! Ha Have a great holiday!!!
- November 19, 2012 at 3:58 PM
- Kristin said...
Happy Thanksgiving, Heather!!!!!!!!!
I'm thankful for you!
- November 19, 2012 at 7:19 PM
- Jessica F said...
What a cute poem! :) Thanks Heather and I hope you have a great Thanksgiving!
- November 20, 2012 at 1:11 PM
Thank you so much for following our little blog and for your kind words! I love your blog too! Thanks for sharing all your awesome ideas! I'm sending you some love from Minnesota and following you right back! :)
- November 20, 2012 at 5:16 PM
- karen @ Smarticle Particles said...
I had to go to school Monday and Tuesday as well (first time in 8 years). My kids were home and had a good old time. I kept hoping some of my students might be absent (isn't that awful?), so we'd have a nice chillaxin' day. But no such luck. So now it's Wednesday, my turkey is still frozen, and my house is a mess!
Happy Thanksgiving!
- November 21, 2012 at 7:15 AM
- The Teacher Studio said...
Thanks for stopping by my new blog and leaving encouraging words! Your blog is adorable! :)
Happy Thanksgiving to you!
- November 21, 2012 at 6:21 PM
- Unknown said...
Those videos are hysterical! Thanks for sharing! My break was short too...But we had off a week due to the Hurricane- looking forward to getting back!
:) Tracey
Multiage Days
- November 26, 2012 at 1:30 AM


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MSB2015 is a three-part residency exchange between members of CG Associates (Manchester), Bloc Projects (Sheffield) and Extra Special People (BIrmingham). It focuses on providing opportunities for making work in quick, experimental contexts, developing conversations with other practitioners and opening opportunities for collaboration. The series of residencies is designed to develop the practices of the participating artists by providing them with critical input and opportunities to experiment, collaborate, develop their networks nationally, make new work and exhibit.
MSB2015 follows the 2014 project C PAGES which was an exchange between members of CG Associates and Extra Special People, hosted by TOAST WILL HOST in Manchester and Stryx in Birmingham. C PAGES was facilitated by Jane Lawson and Kathryn Miller.
MSB2015 Part I: Third Floor Studios Project Space, Manchester
25th and 26th June 2015
MSB2015 Part II: Bloc Projects, Sheffield
8th and 9th July 2015
MSB2015 Part III: Stryx, Birmingham
3rd to 7th August
Participating artists
Peter Bourne
Sandra Bouguerch
Sophie Bullock
Roger Bygott
Claire Davies
Lisa Denyer
Jenny Drinkwater
Niall Gormley
Rachael Hand
Rebecca Ounstead
Helen Stratford
Claire Tindale


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Trainer Heroes behave just like any other Heroes - however, sacrificing a Trainer Hero when levelling up another Hero will result in a greater amount of Experience gained. Trainer heroes are always fully leveled up and cannot be trained further.
What are Trainer Heroes?Follow
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Article is closed for comments.


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Birth Name: Onika Tanya Maraj
Nationality: American
Born: Dec 8th 1982
Onika Tanya Maraj (born December 8, 1982), known professionally as Nicki Minaj, is a Trinidadian-born American rapper, singer and songwriter. Born in Saint James, Trinidad and Tobago and raised in South Jamaica, Queens, New York, Minaj earned public attention after releasing three mixtapes between 2007–09. She has been signed to Young Money Entertainment since 2009. Minaj's first and second studio albums, Pink Friday (2010) and Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded (2012), both peaked at number one on the U.S. Billboard 200 and produced the successful singles "Super Bass" and "Starships", respectively. In 2010, Minaj became the first female solo artist to have seven singles simultaneously charting on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100.
This article uses material from the Wikipedia article "Nicki Minaj" which is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share-Alike License 3.0.
Nicki Minaj Virtual Piano Music Sheets


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Overdraft Courtesy Pay Program
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Bovine Tuberculosis
Bovine tuberculosis is a chronic, bacterial disease of cattle that occasionally affects other species of mammals.
Disease Information
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- Mycobacterium bovis
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The links in this section will take you to a list of other diseases for that same category (e.g. diseases affecting that species, in a specific region, etc.).
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To cite the factsheets found on this website, the following information can be used:
Spickler, Anna Rovid. "Title of Factsheet." "Date of Factsheet (Last Updated)."
At http://www.cfsph.iastate.edu/DiseaseInfo/factsheets.php


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STX Films has released the first trailer for Mile 22, the upcoming thriller from Lone Survivor and Deepwater Horizon filmmaker Peter Berg. The film stars Mark Wahlberg as an operative from the CIA's most highly prized unit, who is tasked with retrieving and transporting an asset through 22 life-threatening miles of dangerous territory.
This is Berg's first straight action movie since 2012's Battleship, and it's something he's quite good at as evidenced by other films like The Rundown so it's kind of nice to see him back in this mode. There's still a bit of a political aspect to the story, blending some of his recent sensibilities in there, but at heart this looks to be a shoot-em-up thriller that'll have audiences on the edge of their seats. Moreover, with Iko Uwais and Ronda Rousey in the cast, there's the potential for some really great hand-to-hand combat fight sequences.
20 seconds into this trailer you'll know exactly what this movie is and where it's going, and you're either in or you're not. But I have a feeling this could be a sleeper hit for STX Films when it hits theaters later this year.
Check out the Mile 22 trailer below. Scripted by Graham Roland and Lea Carpenter, the film also stars Lauren Cohan and John Malkovich. Mile 22 opens in theaters on August 3rd.


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SAN FRANCISCO / Supes seek to save St. Brigid Church / Landmark status could thwart archdiocese plan to raze, sell land to pay abuse suits
The San Francisco Board of Supervisors wants to label the long- closed St. Brigid Catholic Church a local historic landmark in an effort to thwart the archdiocese's plan to demolish the building and sell the land to pay off settlements of priest abuse cases.
Supervisor Michela Alioto-Pier, who represents District 2, where the church sits at Broadway and Van Ness Avenue, introduced a resolution Tuesday urging the Landmarks Preservation Advisory Board to consider an official historic designation for the structure, built in Richardsonian Romanesque style in 1900. The measure has enough co-sponsors to pass at the board meeting Tuesday.
But Maurice Healy, a spokesman for the Archdiocese of San Francisco, said that even if the church does become a historic landmark, it won't affect the archdiocese's plan to sell the building to a developer who intends to erect condominiums on that corner.
Under state law, Healy said, religious organizations are permitted to reject landmark status -- as the archdiocese already did in this case with the national and state registers of historic places -- and do what they like with the buildings they own.
It's unclear, however, how state law would pertain to a local historic designation, said Joe Dignan, chairman of the Committee to Save St. Brigid Church.
Alioto-Pier says she's convinced her resolution could make a difference.
In any case, she said, "We need to do whatever we can. It means a lot to people in San Francisco, and it does have historic value."
The church was closed in 1994 after being deemed seismically unsafe in the wake of the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake, and Healy said that an estimated $5 million to $7 million would be needed to make the building able to withstand future temblors.
The committee wants to raise that amount and work with the archdiocese to retrofit and reopen the church, Dignan said.
The issue has a new sense of urgency to it, as church officials met in January with the city Planning Department to discuss the sale of the land to what Healy called an "unsolicited buyer."
Healy said that he doesn't have a lot of faith in the ability of the group to raise the money, because it has had a decade to do so.
"Even if they came back and said, 'We have the money to retrofit it,' I think our answer would be, 'No, the church is not needed now.' " he said.
Meanwhile, what the archdiocese does need is money to settle claims by alleged victims of sexual abuse by clergy and church employees, Healy said.
The archdiocese is involved in about 75 such lawsuits, either alone or with another diocese.
The governing church body is preparing for an experience similar to that of the Diocese of Orange in Orange County, which recently settled about 90 cases for $100 million, Healy said.
"As the lay people who sit on the real estate committee say, 'How are we going to handle this pending burden?' The sale of unneeded property has been seen as the way to go," Healy said.
Dignan said his committee has a meeting scheduled with Archbishop William Levada on Feb. 18 in which he expects his group to be asked to acquiesce to the demolition of St. Brigid in favor of more housing in San Francisco.
"The answer to that will be a very polite and very respectful 'No,' " he said.


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Since the playtesting phase of Champions Now is wrapping up, I wanted to post a little bit about the game my group has started.
We've played four sessions, plus a session zero to create characters. In the session zero, I presented the first statement, and the second statement was crafted by consensus. Character ideas were developed, and, at the request of the players, I created characters and talked them through the process, what everything meant, etc. During the first session, the characters were introduced to each other and some of their hunteds. The second session introduced one of the player characters (whose player couldn't attend the first session), and allowed the players to experiment a little more with powers. The third session was devoted entirely to role-playing, as the characters responded to the previous sessions and built relationships with each other. The fourth session was a large combat, and the first chance for the characters to cut loose (and learn the importance of endurance management!).
I've run the game (which has served as an interlude/interim game during pauses in an ongoing Pathfinder game). I have extensive experience with RPGs, with my main go-to's being several editions of D&D and several editions of Champions/Hero System. My players are mostly neophyte gamers, with some experience in D&D/Pathfinder, with one lapsed gamer who played older editions of D&D as well as FASA games. None of the players had ever played Champions or the Hero System.
The players are having a really good time. They have all commented on how much they are enjoying the game. The two statements allowed everyone to personalize the game, and make the location, etc., more meaningful (e.g. "Everytime I go there in real life I think about when my character did X in that spot!"). Everyone is looking forward to the next session.
I have really enjoyed running the game. I've always liked Champions, but the two statements (and other advice) have really helped tailor-make "our" comic book title. Prep still is, and always has been, challenging, but I've been able to make it work.
I can't wait to see the final product!
Ron Edwards
Sat, 12/29/2018 - 03:26
More please
Great! I would love to know the following.
- What were the two statements? Where is the fictional activity located?
- What are the characters' names and (basic) super powers/looks?
- What antagonisms and adversity have challenged them?
- What Disadvantages have jumped out in front?
- What powers and in-play options have had significant impact on the events?
Ron Edwards
Sat, 12/29/2018 - 12:29
Music to my ears! Especially
Music to my ears! Especially the details like the care given to locations and objects during combat, which I identify strongly with the game as it existed prior to 4th edition.
It seems as if the group arrived at a shared understanding of what "angles" of superhero-ness to bring forward, and at a developed version of the two statements that characterizes your collective superhero comic. That's very miuch what I'd like this system to facilitate.


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It's always nice to hear your work has been appreciated by both the client and their intended audience at an exhibition, and it's even nicer when another attendee singles out your work with a view to commissioning you to raise their profile.
During the Firex Exhibition held at Olympia in London, we were contacted by the National Operational Guidance Programme (NOGP) after they saw an exhibition stand we had designed and built for Isover Saint Gobain.
NOGP are partners with the London Fire Brigade, and offer guidance to fire and rescue services across the UK. They commissioned us to create an exhibition stand and a series of promotional banners to be used throughout a series of events to raise awareness for their services. NOGP is a partnership between the Local Government Association (LGA), the Chief Fire Officers' Association (CFOA) the Department for Communities and Local Government's Chief Fire and Rescue Adviser (CFRA) and the London Fire Brigade. They aim to deliver consistent guidance on a wide range of situations, and to make the guidance easily accessible and quick to be updated and revised.
It's great to gain another happy client, and we are looking forward to working with NOGP on some new projects in the future.
Find out more about NOGP here www.ukfrs.com/


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I mix 4 ml HC-110, 15ml soapy ammonia which is ammonium hydroxide 5% in water, and 3 ml Ilford Rapid Fixer concentrate together. The HC-110 is viscous, so I add that in first, then ammonia, then the fixer. To that I mix in a gram or so of dry sodium sulfite. This is supposed to prevent sludge from becoming too extensive. Total development time = 2 minutes at 70F. This is more than enough to process one sheet of 4X5 film. Measure the pH and it should be nearly 10.
Afterward I use a standard hypo clearing agent such as more sodium sulfite mixed according to T55 instructions. You only need a little in water, and you can get by with none at all if you wash the negative thoroughly.
The soapy ammonia wets faster and acts like a photo-flo agent, which you definitely need if you are in the field and want the negative to dry fast without streaks. Another way I have done this is to also substitute the ammonia with 5 grams of sodium hydroxide, but if I do, I mix it in a stainless bowl as it gets hot. The final pH should be 9.4. Sodium hydroxide can be hazardous. Here are typical pH strips, which are needed to properly tune the reagent.
I do not recommend that you mix these chemicals unless you have adequate training, wear a face shield and gloves, and have proper equipment. Absolutely do not get any chemicals on your hands or in your eyes. Caustic materials such as sodium hydroxide, lithium hydroxide and ammonium hydroxide are common in many detergent and even food processing formulas, but usually in very dilute, weak concentrations. Here I am using more concentrated forms.
This is not our final formula as there is considerable change in the rate of development when used with a DTR process, but it will produce a negative in a hurry. There is a long experiment planned that would zero in on the right time, mix and receiver sheet that has been discussed at length in this blog. Also the above formula may be apparent to anyone who has read the earlier posts.


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A 20-year old girl was allegedly "ordered to be gang-raped", yes you read that correctly, ordered to be gang-raped, as punishment for having an affair with a man of a different community. Of course it is not known yet if the 'man from a different community' was handed out any similar punishment.
"The girl was initially slapped a fine of Rs. 50,000" says the news item. "The gang-rape was ordered after the family said they would not be able to pay the fine." (link to the news)
Do you get the feeling that you are living in some barbaric times of some long gone era? I certainly do, even though the year is 2014. I hear people say repeatedly that I live in "modern" times and that too in a country whose people are supposed to have been civilized when others were still living on trees and in caves. I certainly have my doubts about that. Which civilized society metes out such outrageous, and utterly inhuman punishment to a fellow human?
Imagine that. There are actually people living in the here and now, who think 'gang-rape' is a fitting form of "punishment" against a perceived wrong committed by a woman. No, they are not random people with individual agenda of some revenge or other. They call themselves 'salisha sabha' (some sort of self styled kangaroo court) and have power vested in them to make rulings on supposed misdeeds in their village. How much more dangerous can it get?
What is more astounding is that there are those willing to do the bidding of the 'salisha sabha' and volunteer to rape for punishment. What sort of beasts are they, willing to take on such a 'job'? Do they consider themselves 'noble' souls for they were raping only as a means to 'teach a lesson (sic) to a 20 year old'? What do their families think of them? Do they think of them as heroes, that it was all being done only in the line of duty? I will tell you what I think of them: scum, vermin, criminals, nothing more, nothing less.
Shame on the whole lot, the ones who passed judgment and those who eagerly jumped in to enforce the same. Shame on those who failed to take action quickly enough. Pity we live in such tolerant times. Or else, the 'salisha sabhas' and its minions could be shut up in a dungeon with a fire-breathing dragon to do the honors, and the keys thrown away.


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Corporate Plan Home | Back | Next
Strategic enablers and enterprise initiatives
Our delivery of safe, secure, efficient and environmentally responsible services to the aviation industry is dependent on our key capabilities. To ensure we are able to deliver our services now and into the future, we will continue to focus on agile, efficient and sustainable ways of working which enable investment and successful delivery of new and improved capabilities.
Our challenge over the next 20 years and beyond will be addressing the network-wide increase in demand for information-based air navigation services. In addition, the OneSKY Program (OneSKY) is expected to deliver a generational step-change in Australian air navigation capability, requiring a holistic transformation of our organisation, people, systems, processes and services.
The purpose of this strategic enabler is to ensure we meet these challenges head-on and create an agile and sustainable organisation over the long term. Through the Airservices Workforce Strategy 2015–2035 we will continue to ensure that we have the people capability to deliver on our primary role and create value for our customers. The strategy articulates the required attributes and characteristics of our future workforce and allows us to plan purposefully for the future.
The enterprise initiative of OneSKY is a critical enabler for the transformation of national ATM and we are working with Defence to deliver a harmonised civil and military air traffic management system (CMATS). The progression of OneSKY and its key dependent projects will remain a focal point for 2017–18 and beyond.
3.1 OneSKY
Enterprise Initiative
The delivery of OneSKY remains a critical priority, as it underpins our future harmonised Australian air traffic management services and systems. Delivering the new CMATS and supporting capability, in 2017–18 the OneSKY Program will focus on detailed planning for the new system and ensuring business readiness for its implementation.
This year will see the delivery of the first benefits, with the introduction of the new Voice Communication System, and commencement of major infrastructure works ahead of the implementation of CMATS at our major air traffic centres. Additionally, and importantly, the plan for the installation of CMATS in the Sydney basin will be finalised.
Deliverables 2017–18
Performance measurement and assessment
This initiative will contribute to the performance outcomes of 'safe and secure' and 'efficient and commercial' and measured against the relevant Airservices key performance indicators to ensure business readiness for the delivery of a harmonised CMATS.
The success of this initiative will be measured on the completion of the above deliverables against agreed schedule and budget milestones.
3.2 People
Enterprise Initiative
Our people play a pivotal role in our drive for safety, value, efficiency and innovation. Over 2016–17 we successfully transitioned to a new, simpler operating model based on customer needs, with less bureaucracy and more accountability. Our focus is now on sustaining and improving our organisational performance. Our strategic workforce planning process will provide a mechanism for continually evaluating the alignment of our operating model with business strategy, and identifying and mitigating any future state capability gaps. Our Enterprise Workforce Plan will ensure that we invest in our current and future workforce capability to ensure we have the right people with the right skills to deliver on our service objectives. We will source our talent through efficient processes that are aligned to business outcomes. We will also continue to embed a leadership culture where we are held to account for delivering on our objectives and optimising employee performance.
Deliverables 2017–18
Performance measurement and assessment
This initiative will contribute to the performance outcomes of being 'innovative' and 'valued and accountable' supporting our leaders with fit-for-purpose and transparent people systems and processes that drive accountability and will also assist in the identification and development of leadership talent.
The success of this initiative will be measured on the completion of the above deliverables in a timely manner and its contribution to the outlined performance outcomes and against the relevant Airservices key performance indicators.


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Green Mile Star Michael Clarke Duncan Dies At 54
Actor passes away in hospital following heart attack back in July...
Michael Clarke Duncan has died in a Los Angeles hospital at the age of 54.
Digital Spy reports that his fiancé Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth was visiting him, but had just stepped out for a period of time and returned to find that the actor had passed away.
He had suffered a heart attack in July.
The actor's representative said: "[Omarosa] is grateful for all of your prayers and asks for privacy at this time. Celebrations of his life, both private and public, will be announced at a later date."
Duncan was nominated for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his role as John Coffey in hit prison drama The Green Mile - and also appeared in Armageddon, The Whole Nine Yards, Planet of the Apes, Sin City and Daredevil.
Before he got his break into acting he had worked as a bodyguard for celebs such as Will Smith, Jamie Foxx, LL Cool J and Notorious B.I.G.


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Re: Clearing a Wooded Lot / What to do next?
Home › Forums › Flower-Garden Questions › Clearing a Wooded Lot / What to do next? › Re: Clearing a Wooded Lot / What to do next?
I bought a house with an area quite like this one you describe where someone had also cleared and planted, here in zone 4 central VT. My best advice: AVOID PERIWINKLE AT ALL COSTS. Since it was planted by whoever lived here before, it has literally taken over the entire forest floor and choked out countless native plants. I assume the same would happen with thugs like English ivy or pachysandra. I've tried to fight back with plants that are better behaved: Astilbe, Hosta, and hellebores, and native groundcovers: Canadian anemone (hard to find, but hard-working), tiarella, native ferns.
I also think it looks much better now that I've added some native or near-native shrubs, like native witch-hazel, spicebush, azaleas, and such. My woods are also happy to support easy woodland perennials like Solomon's Seal, Bleeding Heart, toad lilies, and aconites, all of which I love. Hope some of this can help!


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|Barrett's Esophagus and Diet
Patients with Barrett's esophagus are often confused about dietary recommendations. This Clinical Corner article outlines our current understanding of how certain foods may affect those who suffer from reflux, GERD, or Barrett's esophagus; and gives some general guidelines for eating patterns that may prevent worsening symptoms.
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|J Patrick
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This information is in no way intended to replace the guidance of your doctor.
We advise seeing a physician
whenever a health problem arises requiring an expert's care.
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IFFGD gratefully acknowledges the following members of our Industry Council.
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Goo Goo Gaa Gaa…the past two weeks were full of adorable baby onesies! One order for little girl onesies to coordinate with a tutu themed 1st birthday and one order for little boy onesies matching a baby shower invitation. Now that my daughter is over 1 and technically no longer considered a baby (in my books they'll always be my babies though!!) it was fun decorating these cookies and reminiscing about their baby months 🙂 Awww Yep…I'm a softie for babies 😉 Hope both parties enjoy their sweet little baby onesies!
Ga Ga Over Onesies!
23 Nov 2012 12 Comments
by royalcookie in Baby, Baby Shower, Birthday, Cookies Tags: 1st Birthday, Baby, Baby shower, Baking, Baking and Confections, Birthday, Blue, Clothing, Cookie, cookie decorating, Decorated Cookie, Favors, onesies, Pink, polka dots, Royal icing, Sugar cookie, tutu
Precious Baptism
20 May 2012 4 Comments
by royalcookie in Baby, Baptism, Cookies Tags: angels, Baby, Baking, Baking and Confections, Baptism, cherub, Cookie, cookie decorating, Decorated Cookie, Icing, Precious Moments, Royal icing, strawberry, Sugar cookie, vanilla
It seems like I've been getting a lot of requests for baptism and first communion favors. Must be in the air!
My most recent cookie challenge was for a little girl's baptism. Her Mom sent along some photos of baby's room and a fabric swatch of baby's bedding. It was the most beautiful dusty rose I've ever seen! I tried hard to replicate and hope she likes the colors. Mom wanted vanilla and strawberry, which was cute since the strawberry cookie dough was pink like the bedding! Baby's room is decorated in cherubs…who wouldn't want to wake up among those sweet angels 🙂
I envisioned wispy wings of feathers and used my paint brush to move the icing around for the effect. The hair has some curl to it which I love! When the icing had dried for about 5 minutes I went back with a toothpick and drew in the hair strands, which created curls at the ends. I know baby has light brown hair (peach fuzz!) but pictured curls too 🙂 I wanted big eyes on the cherubs like those from Precious Moments, but with each attempt the eyes got googlier and googlier. So I had to make an executive decision and went with sleepy eyes. I guess I should practice eyes!
I hope Mom and guests enjoy these little ones. It was sad to have such angelic cookies fly away 😉
Baby Shower Favors
05 Feb 2012 6 Comments
by royalcookie in Cookies Tags: Baby, Baby shower, baby shower favors, Baking, Baking and Confections, Cookie, cookie decorating, Sugar cookie
One of my very good friends is having a baby! Cannot wait for March when I get to meet the little guy. Her baby shower was yesterday and it was such a fun time. I was lucky enough to score a day of "Daddy Day Care" since my hubby had returned from Europe the day before…so I traded in some drooling, poopy diapers and unnecessary whining for a few hours of girl talk, yummy food, tasty wine and lots of adorable baby clothes 🙂 Great times!
I volunteered to make the shower favors and had a blast doing them. I bought these cardboard boxes and added the ribbon and label.
Inside were little bags of candy. I'm being serious here…I think it should be a law that you have to have candy at a baby shower 😉 On top I made a bunch of onesie cookies and keeping with the theme decorated them using the wet-on-wet technique with blue and green icing.
Hopefully the girls enjoyed them as much as I enjoyed making them!


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Book Direct with the Owner at Lower Moira Australia Vacation Tourism Canberra Agent in Lower Moira your location, for all your holiday and travel needs.
Address: 10 Moran, Picola VIC 3639
Address: Schier Street, Barmah VIC 3639
Address: Moira Lakes Rd, Barmah VIC 3639
Address: Corner Schier and Tinkler Streets, Barmah VIC 3639
copyright © 2020 Tourism Canberra. All rights reserved.


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Chamberlain has brought home automation to a level that anyone can appreciate. Their new Chamberlain WiFi Garage Door Opener with Smartphone Control is connected device that not only operates your garage door but allows you to control it from anywhere. If your on the road and think you may have forgotten to close the door, just check the app. If you suspect your kids are getting in later than agreed, you'll get a ping.
We've been using the Chamberlain MyQ garage add-on which brought smart home features to our current garage door system. We absolutely love it. No worries about getting locked out of the house, we always know by a quick glance at the app if the garage door is open or closed, and we love the sense of security we feel knowing that anytime our garage door is activated we will get notified by the app.
What's great about the new WiFi opener is that it's compatible with all of the major smart home systems including Apple HomeKit, SmartThings by Samsung, Google's Nest and the Wink App.
Our install went smoothly and we love having a keypad control on the outside of the door in case we don't have our smart phone available.
The product is now available at Home Depot, with expected retail prices of $250 to $270.
More photos of our install below:


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Over the years, I have had many friends confide in me about their love lives. One of the themes is I don't feel loved or I show them I love them, but they say I don't.
For example, one person may show their love by doing small tasks for the other, while the other is dying to hear the words, "I love you." My advice has always been to show your love in the way the other person is looking for it and if you think they aren't showing their love for you, look in the places you haven't been looking. Also, it is OK to ask the other person to show their love for you in the way you want: words, touch, little deeds, small gifts, etc.
There is now a book about this very topic. It is called The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. It is by The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That LastsI am sure there are more than five, but this is a good start. Here is the link to the book on Amazon:
©2016 Stephen L. Martin
Painting: The Crown of Love by John Everett Millais


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Aluminum Plaques
Thank you for visiting our website. W-N Art Bronze Co. has been in the industry for over 80 years. Family owned and operated, pride and craftsmanship have always been top priority with each and every order.
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8\" x 11\" Aluminum plaque with flat-relief artwork.
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We appreciate you considering Superior One Home Care!
If you are looking for a job done right, on time, and for a fair price, then Superior One Home Care is the right choice for you. We specialize in general maintenance, interior and exterior painting, flooring install, fence repair, and much more. We offer more than 30 years of experience in maintenance and repairs and standby to tackle any job that you need to be done. We serve Jacksonville, Orange Park, Middleburg, Fleming Island, Green Cove Springs and all surrounding counties! Email or call us today for a free quote on your job no matter the size! We promise you quality work done with integrity and honesty.


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PORT HURON (WWJ/AP) – Officials plan to use a remote operated vehicle as part of the ongoing search for a 19-year-old Fenton man who disappeared in the St. Clair River during the annual Float Down event on the U.S.-Canada border waterway.
The Times Herald reports the St. Clair County sheriff's dive team is to deploy the camera-equipped vehicle on Tuesday.
The sheriff's office and the U.S. Coast Guard is looking for Brady Morton, who went missing Sunday.
According to officials, Morton was floating with a group of about 40 people when he left his raft to go swimming in the vicinity of Malcolm Marine. His friends say he never came back and they couldn't say exactly when they last saw him.
People in tubes and rafts entered the river Sunday at Lighthouse Beach in Port Huron, 55 miles northeast of Detroit. They exited at Chrysler Beach in Marysville.
The Coast Guard suspended a search and rescue mission Monday night.
"Suspending a search and rescue case is an extremely difficult decision to make," said Chief Petty Officer Gabriel Settel, the assistant command center supervisor at Coast Guard Sector Detroit. "The Coast Guard and partner agencies have exhausted all available resources with the information that was available. Our thoughts and prayers are with Brady's family and friends."
TM and © Copyright 2014 CBS Radio Inc. and its relevant subsidiaries. CBS RADIO and EYE Logo TM and Copyright 2014 CBS Broadcasting Inc. Used under license. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. The Associated Press contributed to this report.