system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
I do NOT want to have a wedding, despite my family's (and his family's) wishes. CMV.

20 something female from the US here, close to graduating with a 4 year degree. I am not against marriage, but my partner and I see no reason to spend money we don't need to spend on something neither of us want. We would much rather keep every penny we've earned and put a down payment on a house, pay off school loans, or save it. (Things that are truly important).

Both of our families have expressed that they would like to see us have a wedding and that it would be somewhat rude/selfish if we did not. They see it as a day where our love for each other can be celebrated and the joining of two families. And I don't disagree, but I see no need to spend **any** amount of money making that day "special".  

If/when we do get married, it will most likely be private and quiet. Every day with my partner is special and I wish my family would understand that we don't need or want a "big day" to tell people that. I wish they could just look at us and be happy for what we are when we are together, regardless of marital status. 

I just don't want a wedding. CMV.

Edit: Thank you everyone for the insightful answers, opinions and suggestions so far. It is what I came here for and I truly appreciate it.



Edit #2: Just to be clear **I am not against MARRIAGE. I am against having a WEDDING** Please acknowledge that these are two different things and CMV.



What I've learned so far: 

*The topic has me believe that there are two types of people in the world. 

1) "I think your wedding is about you/S.O. and no one else." 

2) "I think your wedding is not for you, it is for your family." 

Literally opposites. I am having a hard time deciding which one I am. 


*Weddings can be done inexpensively if money is really the problem, yes I know. 

*Wedding are about the joining of families, got it. 

Edit #3: How does upvoting/downvoting my post work? Do I get upvotes for a popular opinion or a good CMV topic? Do I get downvoted because people disagree with me, or I am being unoriginal? Uhh could someone inbox me and explain?
gpt
It sounds like money is the big issue. The answer to that issue is: don't spend money on all the ridiculous crap people think is necessary (expensive dress/clothes, flowers, exotic banquet hall, food, music, etc. etc.). The wedding industry (in America) is out of control overpriced and is way out of affordability range for a lot of young people.  

So... skip it. Remember that cheaper doesn't have to mean crappy. Take bbop21's advice and find a free location, ask for friends & family to chip in for supplies and just have a party. Make your own traditions, whatever is meaningful to the two of you and your families. DON'T have a cookie cutter wedding because it doesn't sound like it appeals to you.  

Beyond the money issue, you sound reluctant to even have, much less celebrate, a wedding. Honestly it doesn't sound like you guys are ready for "marriage" in all that it entails. What you have is a loving private relationship, but a marriage is really more of a public thing, designed to bring your families together, bring them in to your family circle and most importantly, help raise kids and so forth. A marriage is kind of like a company having an IPO and going public. There's no reason to even do the ceremony if you want to keep your relationship private for now. When you're ready (especially if you're thinking about kids), you can do the public ceremony thing down the road.