system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
[General] In the event of the Rapture, and the Biblical Apocalypse following, what steps should be taken for the survival of humanity?
gpt
1. Become Christian. This way if you are killed, you have a chance of being saved by God. Otherwise, when you die at the hands of some horrendous, multi-faced demon with six barbed penis, your soul is going straight to Hell. 

2. Gather together in a highly defensible position. Be prepared to fight all manner of demons from Satans Army; they can attack from above, from the shadows, from underground, even possess the man next to you and burst out of his chest to kill you all before you know what is happening. Form a chain of command with an established hierarchy; the last thing you as a new resistance movement needs is internal power struggles.

3. Procure holy relics on Earth. It's ill advised to attempt to go for the big ones (The Ark of the Covenant, wherever it is; the Spear of Destiney, etc) because they'll likely be crawling with demons trying to corrupt them and kill anyone attempting to take them. Start small; a metatarsal bone of a minor saint, when placed into the pommel of a sword or the stock of a rifle, should be adequate at banishing demons of Class III and lower. Larger demons (Class IV and above) are to be avoided at all costs: let the Armies of the Host handle those while they war with Satan for Earth. 

4. Though this may at first sound like a bad idea, do not attempt to enter the camp of the Army of the Host. This is not because they are the bad guys; they're the Angels of the Lord incarnate. However, you, a Doubting Thomas who only converted at the last minute to weasel out of your well-earned Apocalypse, will likely be told to leave the settlements, and be forced to camp outside them. This is a very dangerous place to be; Host Camps are literal demon magnets, drawing them like moths to the flame as they attempt to extinguish their enemies. According to the Bible, which you should have at least memorized by now in an attempt to get gud with God, they (The Armies of the Host) will eventually win, but the Bible says nothing about your tiny fortified camp outside them. You will be destroyed without mercy and used to adorn a demonic trophy rack. Stick to the isolated regions of the world, such as the Rocky Mountains, Kansas, Appalachia, and the Texas Panhandle, and you have a better chance at avoiding undue attention.

5. DO NOT READ DEMONIC TEXT AT ALL UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY, AND NEVER **EVER** READ IT ALOUD. Words and names have power, and to read what a demon has written can drive a man insane, trap your soul in a black hole, summon a demon itself, or give you bad directions to you next objective, all of which are things you as a new soldier of the Demonic Resistance should avoid if at all possible.

6. Weapons maintenance is one of your top priorities. In addition to your daily devotionals to God and memorizing scripture, you should clean your primary weapon once a day and your sidearm once every three days, making sure to keep out the nuclear ash that will descend from the skies and accrue in the workings of the weapon. You should also bathe your weapons and bullets in Holy Water before every mission. 

There are plenty of other tips and tricks that you can and will learn over the course of survival (How to remove poisons from meat, how to properly stab a demon in the heart(s), how to distinguish Class IIIA demons from the far more dangerous Class IIIB demons (the most telling feature is the plethora of toothed vaginas on the Class IIIB, which is where the deadly acid comes from), but these are the absolute essentials that YOU, as a Heathen-turned-Survivor, need to know in order to have even the slightest hope of making through the seven years of war between Satan and God for control of Earth.