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human
[DBZ Abridged] What exactly was the Jockstrap Incident?
gpt
Once upon a time, an intergalactic assassin set out to kill Frieza. 

This assassin’s main advantage (or disadvantage, depending on who you ask), was that he was very small, no more than an inch tall. He was putting all his hope into his trusty laser rifle, which had never failed him yet.

One day, when Frieza was getting changed to go work out at the gym, the assassin hid in Frieza’s gym bag and crouched down, waiting for the right moment to jump out and attack. Little did he know, he was right inside Frieza’s jockstrap. 

Frieza (suspecting nothing) put on this jockstrap and continued getting dressed. This was, as you might expect, an altogether terrifying experience for the poor assassin. Seemingly out of options, he fired off his rifle in all directions, hoping against hope to make it out alive.

The energy from the blast did little more than irritate Frieza; however, upon seeing tiny energy blasts shoot out of his lizard wang, he jumped in horror, thinking he might’ve come down with space syphillis after that one night at Frieza Planet 69. In his manic burst, he fired off  his own energy blasts anywhere and everywhere.

This barrage killed the assassin, assuaging Frieza’s fears of space syphillis. Unfortunately, it also destroyed the gym and every living being on the planet. 

Frieza called Captain Ginyu for help digging graves for all the planet’s inhabitants. Once they were finished, they agreed never to speak of the Jockstrap Incident ever again. And they all lived happily ever after...until that dirty simian bastard Vegeta happened.