system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
[Batman/The Office] Wayne Enterprises buys out Dunder Mifflin, and Michael Scott has to travel to Gotham City to meet his new bosses. What awful things ensue while he's there?
gpt
Poison Ivy hears through the grapevine that a powerful paper magnate is due to arrive in Gotham City. She arranges to kidnap this person and either hold him for ransom, or otherwise “convince” him to shift his business operations away from deforestation.

So she nabs Michael and imprisons him. She lets slip fairly early that she thinks him to be some kind of influential figure, stirring a mess of conflicting reactions in Michael: of course he thinks he *is* an influential figure so he’s quick to validate her assumptions about him; but he’s also entirely worthless and powerless, stripping any deals or promises he makes of operant value.

The entire debacle shifts back and forth. In one moment, Michael is a pitiable pathetic mess under Poison Ivy’s green thumb, and she doubts the political value of her prisoner; but each time Michael notes the disappointment in her eyes, he quickly fumbles his way into yet another babbling blender of self-aggrandizing lies... because he really likes it when she looks at him like he’s the king of the world.

However, eventually, Poison Ivy comes to accept the truth that Michael is a worthless moron, and is actually in the middle of letting him go when Batman shows up, rearing for a bat-battle.

Poison Ivy waves him off. “Nah, you can have him,” she says, pushing the unvined Michael into Batman’s custody. “He’s just a paper boy.”

Michael is wounded deeply by this, and he gives her The Kicked Puppy Look. Before Batman can get Michael out of there, Poison Ivy sighs, leans in, and gives Michael a good long deep-mouthed toxinless kiss, forcing Batman to watch in quizzical frustration.