system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
[Harry Potter] I just heard that the Dark Lord is back. What's in it for me if join his side?

This morning's Daily Prophet said that You-Know-Who is back and attacked the Ministry, Harry Potter is some kind of Chosen One, and Sirus Black is dead. 

At this point, the war could go either way and I'm thinking about becoming a Death Eater. I've heard Dumbledore talk about how wizards should be nice to muggles but what's in it for me if I become a Death Eater? Do I get muggle peasants/slaves to work for me in our new world order? Is the pay good? When do I get my sweet ass tattoo? Tell me what a Death Eater recruiter would tell me.

A little bit about me. I graduated Hogwarts with decent grades, I got Exceeds Expectations in all my O.W.L.s. I'm not political and I don't particularly like Dumbledore and muggles but I don't have a grudge against them either. Both my parents were half-bloods so I do have some muggle genes in the family but no one has to know that.
gpt
Not being murdered by You-Know-Who as a blood traitor as quickly. Maybe a place in the Ministry of Magic once he takes it over and if he likes you enough. 

Though seriously, I've got a wand pointed at your face, two giants behind me and a pack of dementors off hunting Muggles ready to be called at a moments notice. What's your pick?