system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
[Scooby Doo] How CAN I get away with it, now that those meddling kids have arrived in town?

Hello all. Old Man Whithers here. 

After thirty years of thankless work of scraping by as a street sweeper in my small town, I've decided to enact a sure-fire scheme to finally get myself a retirement fund so I can get out of this depressing place and live by the beach. My plan involves dressing up as a menacing ghost from local folk tales and scaring people off valuable land that I will then buy for pennies to the dollar before selling it off at full price to out-of-towners who don't believe in our local ghost. Brilliant, eh? I bet nobody's ever thought of that one before! 

And it was going great, but now there's this new bunch of kids that arrived in town and they're looking into my whole ghost thing. Normally I wouldn't be worried, but these ones are giving me bad vibes. One of them (I'm not even sure which one, but probably the stoner) is doing some sort of constant ventriloquism act that they all play along with by pretending that their dog can talk. They're weirding me out, and I want them gone.

So what's the best way of getting rid of these guys? I can't just stop my ghost act, otherwise people might realise that there was a living person behind it who got scared off. Ghost don't run away, after all. And I don't want to kill or badly hurt any of them - I'm trying to scare people off, not murder them. I'm okay with swinging a sword around to make them think they'll be murdered if they don't run, I just don't want to do any actual knife-in-body stabbing. So what do I do to get rid of these meddling kids? 

I should list my resources. I have access to some glowing paint that looks very unearthly, a sword (as part of my ghost cavalry officer disguise), and a really well put together rope/pulley system that's quick to set up anywhere and is pretty much invisible to the naked eye at night (it helps me look like I'm floating/flying). I also know all of the ins-and-outs of the local rickety abandoned mansion, including its long hall full of doors which face each other, if that helps.
gpt
I think I've seen these kids driving down the freeway, and at a few rest stops.

I say the best bet is to give them something else to worry about than you. It is definitely animal abuse to be hotboxing that poor dog, and he *never* has a proper leash. A report to the right authority should have them heading for less restrictive hills.