system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
CMV: When typing a penis emote, it is better to use a 6 to represent the balls rather than an 8.

So, I'm sure, at some point, you've all typed a penis emote like this: 8=====D. Looks alright, right? Not to me. I much prefer typing it like this: 6=====D, and I have substantial evidence to back up why in this case, 6 > 8.

My reasons:

1. An 8 as balls in the emote looks like a literal deformity. It reminds me of someone who has one ball stacked on top of another. I like to call this "vertical testicle syndrome." Tell me, in real life, have you ever seen someone with vertical balls? I don't think so.

2. There are people who will argue that "We've always used 8, so why change it?" or "Everyone uses 8! Who the hell uses a 6?". The problem with these arguments is that they both commit a fallacy. This is an appeal to tradition fallacy (We've always used 8, so why change?") and an appeal to popularity fallacy (Everyone uses an 8 for the balls, so an 8 must be the best choice). 

3. The dick is clearly from a side view, not a top or bottom view. Sure, an 8 for the balls would make a lot more sense if we were under the assumption that the balls were being looked at from the bottom or the top, but this is clearly not the case. You can tell by the way the shaft and dickhead are positioned. 

4. Some people will argue that "a 6 makes it look like there's only one ball!", but this is not true. This is a false position when one fails to acknowledge that, realistically, the shaft would obscure one testicle partially. If it was just one ball, it would probably look like an o like o=====D, but it's a 6, not an o. And even then, one ball makes a lot more sense than vertical balls. Some people in history had only one ball, like Hitler. I don't think anyone has had vertical balls.

5. Last of all, I'd like to respond to the argument that "IT'S A DICK EMOTE. IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE VERY REALISTIC." which I agree with, but consider that we're not trying to make it look photorealistic, we are just trying to make things make sense. Imagine if I made a smiley emote look like this: "), using a set of quotation marks as the eyes. Looks horrible, right? Looks deformed and terrible. Obviously :) is not very realistic, but it makes more sense than "). 

This is my case for why I type all my dick emotes with a 6. I think I make a very solid case, but if you can refute these arguments, I'd be glad to hear them!
gpt
Language is, at its core, a mutually agreed upon set of symbols or sounds that allows the exchange of information between people. It doesn’t matter if any given word or words is empirically better - if people don’t know what you are trying to say with a word, then it is a failure. 

Take Esperanto. It is, empirically, a better language than pretty much any other because it was designed to be. Easy to learn, easy to use, easy to write. However, no one wanted to use it to communicate, so it was a failure as a language. Esperanto words are wrong because no one will understand what you are trying to say. 

All of this to say that it doesn’t matter if 6===D is an empirically better way to draw a dick - if no one recognizes that as a dick, then you have failed in your primary goal - to draw a dick. If we all collectively agree that 8====D is how you draw a dick, then that is how your draw a dick.