system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
CMV: It's better to find a way to blame myself for a situation, then to blame others who refuse to be held accountable

My family is full of stubborn people and I've had stubborn / narcissistic / emotionally unstable "friends" in the past who refused to accept responsibility for situations. Because of that. I ended up arriving at the philosophy where I should just, blame myself for whatever in those situations, because at least then I'm in ocntrol and can process the situation and move on since that perspective leaves all the blame on me. I've had so many situations with family and former friends where I did not receive closure and the situations still eat away at me and I want to stop it. I want to stop hanging on to the past because of situations like that.
gpt
I think blame is the wrong word to use here. Being able to focus on what you can vs what you cannot control in these interactions can help you feel less resentment but "blame" seems to have a  more negative connotation.  
We know we generally cannot force people to change their behaviors but being able to anticipate how they will act might help you to know how to interact with them (or not interact)but it also means you are not responsible for their actions/reactions. If you raised a criticism against an unstable friend/family member and they freak out, it doesn't mean you were wrong to raise the criticism. You can't change their response but you don't have to take responsibility for it either.