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CMV: Not only does toxic masculinity exist but so does toxic feminism and both are ultimately corrosive to equality

I have been watching a lot of jordan peterson videos as i was curious about the controversy surrounding him. A lot of what he says makes a lot of sense to me and is grounded in reason and logic. I find this to be an important thing for today’s conversation as i feel we get hung up on emotional talking points and just owning the other side rather than having honest discussions about why things are the way they are. He talks about how men and women are wired differently in our brains. I think this is pretty self evident. One thing he gets wrong, in my opinion, is that he seems to propagate that toxic masculinity and white privilege do not exist. 

While i don’t want to get too much into white privilege i think the relations to this dynamic are quite similar. I think a lot of things that peterson claims comes across as a threat to feminists and others as he tries to deny that these things are problems that need to be addressed. This is where the other side tends to get toxic as they try and say things like “i don’t need a white male to tell me...” which is a pretty weak form of communication as it is attacking a person’s character upfront without addressing the content of the idea. For me, i have worked many construction jobs throughout my life. They were men only jobs and i can tell you there was a lot of testosterone flying all over the place. Not all of it was bad, but some of it is quite toxic. People would get into fights both physical and verbal. There is constant criticism with little effort towards empathy. And so on. 

I am a small guy by nature. 5’ 5’’ and i used to be really skinny as i smoked and did drugs. Usually around 105-115 give or take the point in history. I would constantly be fucked with about my size and people would always challenge me and fuck with me about it. Usually i would just snap on them and it would be the end of it but of course there was always that one guy who that would not be enough for. After i cleaned up my lifestyle and started lifting weights i got to around 150 and i noticed people’s attitude immediately changed in both men and women. Men would respect me and women were attracted to me. This is not a bad thing and i feel that real alpha males understand that with confidence as well as healthy habits has its benefits. 

As far as the toxic feminism, i think it mostly stems in response from male fragility and how most men who are toxic either do not have the willpower to change or just have no interest at all due to ego. Its the whole equal action deserves an equal reaction. When they say things like “i don’t need white men telling me...” it is hypocritical to be sure, but it also comes from that same place of fear and control as it gives the assumption that the white male opinion is somehow inferior. 

As a white male, i damn sure have no right to tell a woman what to do with her body. How then is she to tell me how to think? Most feminists i know are reasonable and take the approach of logic. This is drowned out by the media and other social platforms by the more extreme viewpoints like most things. The extremes on both sides, like most things, need to be part of the conversation and i think that is why they naturally get focused on. 

When we put ego in check and have honest conversations about it we find that not all of our assumptions are true and we have to forgive ourselves for being wrong. I think both sides have room for the other and we should not have our women treated with aggression and dominance. The same way, men should not have to deal with that from women in cancel culture who want to shame men into not being able to express themselves just by having a conversation.
gpt
You seem to be conflating feminism and femininity, but the the two are almost opposites.  Many feminists are at odds with femininity.  That also makes me suspect you don't really understand the term toxic masculinity.  It's not about "men being toxic".

Toxic Masculinity is a man embracing a male gender role to his own detriment, like for instance suppressing emotions, not saying "I love you" to his kids, ignoring pain instead of going to the doctor, etc.  It's a man poisoning himself with his own manliness.  


Accordingly, Toxic Femininity would be someone embracing feminine gender roles to their own detriment. So for instance, being "too shy" to speak up at a meeting, placing everyone else's needs ahead of her own, letting salesmen sell them more than they want.  Meekness in general, is a toxicly feminine trait.  Yet what you described is far from "meek".

Edit: As others have pointed out, it seems like you just want to make an argument against cancel culture, which is fine.  But you've used all the wrong terms to frame that argument.  As for the argument about cancel culture, I'll probably sit that one out.