system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
CMV: someone being my family member doesn’t mean I should give them a pass on bad behavior

With the holiday season, it’s the time of year where racist uncles and thrice divorced aunts start showing up, and the age old argument will be thrown out: “I know you don’t like them, but they’re family so you need to get along and give them a pass.”

My opinion is that someone being family doesn’t earn them anything. If nothing about them was different except for that they weren’t my family, would I still have to respect them and like them?  I think no. I think there need to be more reasons. I think family gets a pass too much. 

I’ll never forget the time my brother gave me a black eye and bloody nose but I was the one in trouble for staying mad about it and wanting to file a police report. I was rightfully afraid, but my parents talked me down. “He’s your brother”, they said, “and we treat family differently. You need to give him more chances. You two have to get along because that’s what family does.”  I’m sad to admit they guilted me into letting him get away with knocking me out with his fists. I don’t think I’m the first person or the last who was guilted into giving family members a pass on bad behavior. 

I think if anyone, family or not, is to get a pass on bad behavior, better reasons need to be given. I don’t think there’s any legitimate moral obligation to put family on a pedestal and a think doing so is dangerous and unhealthy. 

My view could be changed if I can be convinced that someone being a family member is the only reason there needs to be to let someone get away with behavior you otherwise would call out or do something about. For example: if someone at the dinner table was overtly racist, convince me that I should only call out the racism and comment on it if the person isn’t my family. 

CMV. 

Edit: I’ll define giving a pass: giving a pass includes taking no action that could lead the offender to think they’ve offended. If someone beats you up, giving a pass means you tell them it’s all good and that you’re not mad about it. If someone is racist, giving a pass means you will agree, nod your head, stay silent, etc so long as the speaker is able to keep thinking nobody has a problem with their comments.
gpt
I think there are valid reasons why we should treat family members differently than strangers. The main being that you share a connection that won't be easily severed. That person will remain connected to you, and your kids, siblings, etc... They in all likelihood will continue to orbit your life in a significant way, and for that reason they can't be dismissed as casually as just any person.

That said, this means that sometimes one must react more severely to a family member. If you're gay, and your father is a homophobe, that needs to be confronted because it is going to be a problem unless they can change their view. If you're gay, and a grocery store cashier is a homophobe, it's less important. Likewise, you need to find a way to make clear that violence isn't cool, so it doesn't keep happening.