system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
ELI5: Canadian government

I promise I'm not dumb as shit but I've never been taught or I clearly didn't retain anything about Canadian government. So please explain like I'm 5 how the Canadian government works and whats the difference between liberal, NDP, and Conservative. So that If I'm ever in a situation where I had to talk about it I'm not completely clueless!
gpt
The head of state of Canada is the Queen of England, although nominally it's the Governor General her appointed representative in Canada. However this position is almost 100% ceremonial.

The higher house is known as the Senate. Intended to be a mirror of the House of Lords in England it's purpose is to be a 'Sober Second Thought' on laws and legislation. The senate is made up of appointed officials, mostly affiliated to the parties. It's purpose is nominally to be a retirement plan for party officials and supporters. 

The real power is the Parliament. Parliament is made up of elected officials each representing a riding (A defined geographic area, like part of a city).

Members of parliament can be independents, but almost all belong to a political party. Since the largest party is the dominant one in the house, being a member of a party is essentially a requirement to get any kind of significant power.

The leader of the political party in power is the Prime Minister, the most powerful political person in Canada. The Prime Minister appoints a cabinet, made up of party members (who are almost always sitting members of the house) each with a portfolio which dictates their responsibilities in running the government. Such as Minister of Finance, Health, Defense, National Parks, etc

Canada has numerous political parties but in it's history only 2 have ever had enough seats to form a government, the Liberals and the Conservatives.

The Liberals have had more years in power than any other party. The are generally middle of road politically, but leaning left. This means they support the rights of workers, government run programs, unions, same sex marriage, etc.

The Conservatives are Canada's primary Right Wing party. Although conservative and right wing they are far more left leaning than the equivalent right-leaning parties in say the US. Conservatives believe in supporting big business, fiscally responsible government, religions and traditional values. 

The NDP were founded in the 1960's. They are far more left leaning than the Liberals and therefore push more so for things like healthcare, child care, unions, and workers rights. The NDP didn't implement Canada's healthcare plan (that was the liberals) but the leader of the NDP Tommy Douglas came up with the idea.

The Block Quebecois is Quebec's nationalist and separatist party. They are right-leaning and put forward an agenda that supports French Canadians and the province of Quebec first. They have declined in power significantly since the 90's.

The Green Party is Left-leaning and supports Ecofriendly policies. They are a fringe party that is gaining popularity and maintains 1 seat in Parliament.

The People's party is a growing movement right-wing party started by offshoots of the Conservative party. They currently have 1 seat.