system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
My fiancée passed away on the 1st and she was going to come to my PhD program with me. Is deferment bad? I'm at a loss and I don't know what I should do anymore.

I got into my dream PhD program in January and my fiancée and I were making our plans to move there soon. However, my fiancée passed away unexpectedly on the 1st of this month and I've been a total wreck. I can't concentrate on my last semester of undergrad and a huge reason I chose this school was because she would love the area/things to do there. I want to still get my PhD but now I'm feeling lost and scared about moving forward. 

I contacted the school and they said I can defer up to a year and keep my RA-ship offer and everything and my current university is offering me incompletes to finish over the summer, but I don't know what I should do. My parents have taken me back to my childhood home and they are trying to "get me over" the death of the love of my life. They want me to finish my undergrad on time (by May 1st) and start grad school on time (June 1st), but I'm having trouble just typing this let alone thinking about math. 

My end goal is to become a professor at a PUI. Would deferment be looked at negatively? Does anyone know how I can transition back into my life/school? Is it okay to not be able to do any work right now? 

I'm also feeling guilty to move on with my life without her. Does anyone have any advice? I'm only 22 and my lover has already passed away.

Thank you for any advice.
gpt
Take a year off to grieve. Moving away from your support systems and starting grad school is really hard even when you aren't going through something else impossibly hard as well. No one is going to know you deferred outside of that program and even if someone else found out, they'd assume you took a gap year which is really really common and not seen negatively at all. Just take it day by day.