system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
Unlike my boyfriend, I believe physically having children is much more rewarding than being childfree or adopting. CMV

My boyfriend and I have been dating for quite some time now and a lot of important issues have come up such as marriage, where we should live, and we can never quite settle on one particular point: whether or not we should have children. He believes that children are an economic drawback and he's worried about his family medical history (he's brilliant! his child would be smart and he's smart enough to care for a kid). He wants to run off and get a vasectomy and, if his feelings about children change, he wants us to adopt a kid. But I don't think he understands how important it is for me to produce my own children. I don't know if I'm hormonally compelled or what, but ever since I was a little girl I knew I NEEDED to get married to an excellent guy (just like my boyfriend) and have kids with him.  
  
I feel like making a kid is the ultimate commitment within a relationship, it deepens the bond between wife and husband, and the quality of that bond deepens the bond between each parent and the child, as well. The child, genetically speaking, amounts to a little you and a little him. The child is a total reflection of both of us, physically, emotionally, etc.  
  
I know people claim to have the same relationship with adopted children, but it can't quite be the exact same experience, can it? You don't have that hormonal connection. The child isn't genetically "yours" - and I know genetics does have some influence on behavior. I'm worried that if I do what my boyfriend wants to do later in life, that I won't truly love our adopted child just as much as if I'd birthed the child. Indeed, we'd initially have to tolerate someone else's genetics and someone else's behavioral influence and change that.    
  
And the choice not to have children at all? That's... baffling to me. I've never imagined a future without someone to help take care of us when we get older, someone who would listen to our stories and remember us when we're gone.
  
My boyfriend and I are really close. We've been dating for six years now. This wedge has been between us for quite some time. I just want to address the issue to preserve what has to be the only relationship I want to have for the rest of my life. He is THE ONE. I don't want anything to get in the way of our happiness. To do that, I'm not just trying to change my view. I'm trying to change what has been since I was a little girl my identity. So please, help me CMI for the sake of my relationship and my happiness.
gpt
It is not fair for you to pressure him into having children. If he is to the point where he's serious about a vasectomy, then you need to honor that.

Conversely, it isn't fair for him to keep you from your opportunity to have your own biological children.

The problem here is this is one of those relationship deal breakers. You can't have a kid and, if it doesn't work out, give it back. You can't not have a kid and feel happy and fine with it if you really wanted one and feel empty because you didn't.

Additionally, it is REALLY unfair of you to dismiss his fears about passing on genetic problems to his offspring, or assume that his intelligence in any way will either transmit to said offspring, or enable your SO to be a good father.

There are plenty of intelligent people who are terrible parents. You have to want to be a parent and feel enriched by it for it to be worth all the pain and sacrifices. Pushing him into it is not going to give him that desire. It will also not make him a great parent. 

This is the path to sure resentment. 

If having a biological child is non-negotiable to you, then there is only one option.