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Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
Is this weird? (CW: possible borderline sexual harassment; tl;dr at end)

Hello all, 

I am fairly new to academia. I'm in a grad program, but I'm collaborating on a project with a researcher who works at a local-ish nonprofit, not at all affiliated with my university. We've only met a few times but have been working together on a manuscript for nearly a year. For context, this person is significantly older than me, close to my parents' age. The project involves research with transgender communities. I am trans, my collaborator is not.  

Our previous meetings were strictly professional and occurred with another person present. However, recently, we met one-on-one in a coffee shop. My collaborator offered to give me a ride there since the weather was bad. We had coffee (collaborator paid) and had a normal, professional conversation about our project. 

When we were wrapping up, my collaborator changed the topic to general life/career advice. They mentioned a couple other transgender people working in our field. They told a PG story about bringing one of these people as a date to an event. I ignored this point and asked questions about where the person worked. A bit later, my collaborator was talking about a recent conference they had been to with a different transgender colleague. My collaborator described, in detail, how attractive this person was and how they were disappointed that the two of them didn't have sex when they shared a hotel room at the conference. I laughed nervously and pretended I had to answer a text. Since this person was my ride, I then got in their car and gave them an address to drop me off at. They deliberately took a circuitous route (ignored the GPS) and offered to take me to a liquor store or bar. I declined, and the conversation ended there.

In my previous field, this would *never* be something discussed in a professional context. I got the feeling that this person was trying to communicate to me that they are attracted to transgender people. I was uncomfortable with these stories and changed the subject each time.  

**My questions:** Is this weird for academia? Is this "locker-room talk"? Am I right to feel a bit weird about it? This person has reached out about our project again-- am I in the wrong to want to back out of in-person meetings?  

**tl;dr:** Am I being overly cautious or is an older colleague talking about how much they are attracted to trans people to me, a trans person, creepy?

&#x200B;
gpt
This collaborator's behavior is predatory.  Please document every interaction you've had with them and maybe figure out who to contact in your department.  But even if you don't talk to anyone around your program, go straight to your school's equivalent of an office of equal opportunity/Title IX people and get their advice.