system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
How a non-academic can support someone in the academia, relationship-wise?

Hey,

I've recently started dating a 33/M who has PhD in Astrophysics and works as a researcher at the university. I (33/F) have no degree (dropped out of four(!) degrees due to previously undiagnosed ADHD), but I haven't ruled out getting one (or finishing one of the previous ones) in the future. Currently I'm working in IT with a permanent full-time position and life is stable in that way.

He is currently under lot of stress due to applying for research grants, reviewing papers and preparing a talk at a seminar, all having deadlines next week. This has now resulted in that we haven't had time to meet in a week (live in the same city), and probably won't have time to meet until the end of next week. Have been pretty much been contact via WhatsApp only. As I have other academic friends as well, I understand the pressure and haven't pushed for a meeting.

The question is: How could I best provide support for him? I show regular interest towards his work and research to the best of my abilities, though I know absolutely nothing about physics (other than what I've read from Wikipedia - funnily enough, we ended up talking about Hawking radiation at the first date!) I guess I have to just back off now, for the time being, considering if he's so busy there's no time for setting up a date - but how could I show support and interest in the best way in the future?

What are the things you appreciate in (non-)academic partner's behaviour during stressful times?
gpt
Being understanding and flexible is the most important kind of support. You show interest the same way you do about anyone's career. Ask how things are going, let them talk and listen. You don't have to become an expert in their subject.

That said, a lot of other comments here mention cleaning up and cooking and doing other household tasks. While this is certainly a very nice gesture, you should think long and hard about the role you want to take on in the relationship as it develops. A lot of academics have partners who do everything for them, because it is a stressful and demanding career. Is that a role you want to take on? Or will you want your own demanding career, or even just to devote time your own interests and hobbies? The patterns you set early in the relationship will effect expectations down the line. Don't act like this guys' mother/maid unless you are prepared to accept that jobs(s).

I really wonder if you were a guy writing this, whether you'd be getting that same kind of advice.