system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
[Brooklyn 99] How are Holt and Kevin…”intimate” with each other?

I’m not asking for perverted reasons…mostly! But they’re very formal people, some would even classify as “Ya boring.” So much so that their idea of PDA is a firm handshake. But we know from implications that they’ve “Boned” a few times, and seduced each other over texts with graphs. So what do they do, seductively whisper bird facts to each other? I need to know, I’m too far down the rabbit hole!
gpt
It's a very steamy and torid affair involving officiated debates as foreplay before moving into more private sessions. Once alone they compare data on the most efficient way to disrobe and properly fold their clothing. Once nude the comparisons to rare and majestic bird mating habits begin before progressing to a very firm handshakes. Then over finely aged wine they discuss relevant facts of the 1st century Roman empire and the historical inaccuracy of pop culture depictions. Then another firm handshake and thoughtful thank you letters mailed to each other before separate showers and some light reading before bed.