system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
[Harry Potter] How did the Dursleys explain to the doctor in London that their son needed a pig tail removed?
gpt
"We don't know what this growth is but we want it gone." Pretty much any doctor would quickly agree, and after a quick check it's not cancerous Dudley's free to go.

Obviously it's not *actually* a pig tail, that's absurd, but with only one case we can only theorise as to what actually happened. It goes in the medical journals as any number of strange health conditions we currently don't know about, maybe a tabloid shock story, but after that dies down it's quickly forgotten.