system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
How do I help people who refuse to see beyond their bias? In other words, how does one talk to loved ones about BLM, Trump, Illuminati conspiracies, and more without it devolving into merely talking at each other? Sorry in advance for the long entry, and thank you for your help.

My parents only understand Black Lives Matter as harmful to cops and promoting of violent crime that is, apparently to them, inherent in black communities. They wholeheartedly supported Trump and defended him through all critiques, eventually forming an insane apologetic that he will be a new Pauline figure who will be "used by God in great ways." Both grew up in the worst kind of Reagan-era, capital driven, close minded, literal biblical interpretation Christianity that prides itself in its abuse of martyrdom to never challenge itself. 

In the wake of the Trump election, Ive been reading through Alasdair Macintyre's *After Virtue,* and a couple quotes in relation to this have stuck out so far:

* "Hence it seems that underlying my own position there must be some non-rational decision to adopt that position. Corresponding with the interminability of public argument there is at least the appearance of a disquieting private arbitrariness. It is small wonder if we become defensive and therefore shrill."

* "In practice, victory was with those who could speak with the greatest appearance of clear, undoubting conviction and could best use the accents of infallibility. [G.E.] Moore … was a master of this method – greeting one’s remarks with a gasp of incredulity – Do you really think that, an expression of face as if to hear such a thing said reduced him to a state of wonder verging on imbecility, with his mouth wide open and wagging his head in the negative so violently that his hair shook. Oh! he would say, goggling at you as if either you or he must be mad; and no reply was possible. …[Lytton] Strachey’s methods were different: grim silence as if such a dreadful observation was beyond comment and the less said about it the better, but almost as effective for disposing of what he called death-packets. [Leonard] Woolf was fairly good at indicating a negative, but he was better at producing the effect that [it] was useless to argue with him than at crushing you."  


Both quotes so clearly remind me of my parents and those I have come in contact with who defend themselves at all cost against any challenging ideas. Any attempt I have at disagreeing with them ends in their hurt feelings as, no matter how calmly, flatteringly, or friendly I try to make my point, Im dismissed and attacked for being an idealistic college kid studying philosophy and lacking in "real world experience." I reached a point of never instigating these conversations myself as I know they will only lead to hurt feelings and frustration; however, they cannot help but bring them up themselves. I have this suspicion that they feel the need to either convert me or prove their own self worth to themselves by being able to defend themselves against me, and get mad when the discussion goes poorly. 

I am also interested in Slavoj Zizek's and Peter Sloterdijks notions of cynical ideology and see antecdotal evidence of theat everywhere in my life. My parents are not hateful people. Like Zizek's example of the anti-semite who can kindly greet and care for his jewish neighbor after work, I see my parents love the immediate world, but struggle with any level of abstract thought. Violence in Detroit is because black people are lazy and likely to commit crime, not because of years of institutional racism and white flight decimating the area's education and socioeconomic standing (not to mention living in Detroit doesnt even = being black necessarily). Capitalism is perfect, and lazy people on wellfare are hurting it. Socialism is just for lazy people who grew up with participation trophies (such a strange rhetoric Ive seen repeated).

TL;DR Venting aside, I guess it would be nice to hear of some ways to handle these conversations from people with far more experience than this naive undergrad. How can I talk to my parents and others who insist on these conversations when they
1.  take any dissent as an attack on their character and
2. believe any differing opinion is simply a conspiracy against their cause (Christianity apparently).
gpt
A gadfly who is anxious about being a gadfly will be lead astray! There's nothing to be anxious about! You're not trying to 'change minds', you're just trying to get people to think. Throw out your critique, then get the fuck out of there. Their 'my cultural identity shall not be challenged' temper tantrum is to be expected. But it's only the after-dinner mint, it has nothing to do with the activity itself. The activity itself is to spur others into anxiety about their own lack of thought. That's it! Don't try to do 'more'; that just reveals your cynical belief that these pobrecitos couldn't possibly think themselves out of the anxiety that you've produced in them, not even if they really wanted to! Fuck that! Treat them like humans! Humiliate them and walk away! And be cheerful about it, for fucks sake!