system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
CMV: It's not racist to not be attracted to someone because of their race if it's not sexist to be attracted to only one gender. You can't choose who you're attracted to period.

**UPDATE**

Hey, I hope this is allowed, but I wanted to clarify some things if that's okay!

First of all I want to thank all of you for your responses. 99% of you were  really patient and not mean at all, which I really appreciate.

A question I've been asked frequently is "Have you ever been attracted to at least one?" and my answer is an honest no.

After many of your comments, I've decided to look inside myself more. I believe 2 of you (maybe more, I'm sorry if I'm wrong!) suggested that maybe this has come from a bad upbringing with my father or other black men, and I've come to the conclusion that I think that may be the case.

While I fortunately have an excellent relationship with both of my parents, I *did* have a traumatic event involving black men. Two of them had stalked me. Now, at first I didn't want to say this could be the case. Because I'm also a CSA trafficking survivor, and the person who did that to me was white and I haven't lost my attraction to white men. And I was also raped on a separate occasion by a Hispanic man, and that hasn't changed my attraction to them, either. Both of those things are infinitely worse than being stalked, even though it doesn't invalidate how violated I felt. But maybe the stalking situation hurt me more somehow. Maybe somewhere inside myself I felt betrayed because they're the same race as me, and I grew up being taught that we're supposed to stick together and that black men are supposed to care for their women. My parents always warned me about white men. They never told me that a black man would be capable of hurting me. That's not their fault, but just something I realized and maybe that affected me as well.

I think that ultimately, even before what happened to me, I hadn't *yet* found a black guy I was personally attracted to, but I wasn't closed off to the idea that it would happen. But maybe that traumatic event affected me more than I realized and shattered the chances of that happening for whatever reason.

Anyway, I know how horrible and hypocritical this probably all sounds, but I hope everyone understands me more. I am still open to continuing the discussion!

*Also if I haven't replied to anyone, please don't worry because I will! I'll be going through all of the comments again today, awarding deltas, and responding to anyone I haven't yet. These are a LOT more comments that I'm used to and a little harder than I thought*

**END OF UPDATE**

This just popped into my head recently, but it's something that's been in the back of my mind for a while. If it matters/for context, I am a black woman and I am not attracted to black men and can't see myself ever being with one. I have a preference for white and hispanic men. It isn't something I actively chose and I didn't just wake up one day and say "Hmm, I think I'll decide to only like white men from now on!" 

However, I know that there's this whole thing about how it's racist to either not like someone because of their race *or* to be attracted to someone because of their race, because then it's "fetishizing"! However, this same logic doesn't seem to apply to the LGBT community. Meaning that the general consensus is that you can't choose which gender you're attracted to. If that's the case, how is it not that you just can't choose who you're attracted to *period*?

Now, I may be coming across as an ignorant asshole here, but I truly don't really understand why this is so. If it's racist for me to not be attracted to guys of my own race (or others), why is it then not "sexist" if I was only attracted to the same gender? I really don't think that anyone can choose who they're attracted to, so I don't see why or how it can be construed as racist when being a racist is typically a conscious effort. I don't think any one race is superior to another. I'm not antagonistic towards people of a certain race. But I have been called racist and a race traitor several times because of my preferences.
gpt
I think what people have an issue is that

1. For someone to actively just say they could never see themselves with any person of any ethnic or racial background seems a little weird. There are literally billions of people on the earth but for some reason you exclusively choose one ethnicity or racial group to exclude? You’re right, it is a preference, but it’s a very specific preference that’s just kind of a little weird. Because you are actively choosing not to partake in a relationship with another human being solely for some really arbitrary fact they literally cannot help.
 
i. e. Can you actually explain why it is you could never see yourself with a black man? Is there like an actual reason, or do you just not find Black men particularly attractive? If you don’t find black men particular attractive, that’s one thing, but to state you can never see yourself with a black man is kind of weird considering there are literally like thousands upon hundreds of black men you’ve never seen in person, i’ve never formally met, never had the chance to create a romantic connection, it just seems kind of bold to claim you could  never see yourself with a black man for some arbitrary reason outside of you don’t find them attractive. Which is a very large generalization for a very large subsection of people.

2. You can have a preference, yes, but it’s also fair to acknowledge that sometimes preferences are rooted in really negative connotations about a particular group of people.

Right, like it’s not inherently racist you’re right. But it also can actively be problematic.