system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
ELI5 The Iowa Caucus and why it is or isn't important?
gpt
You're in school. It's recess time. You're a 4th grade kid who runs around at recess. There are other kids like you running around and playing games and having all kinds of mayhem.

That boy over there has a Gameboy. Those girls are playing Hopscotch. This kid is playing with a Furby. That other group of kids is playing Cops and Robbers. You and your friends are playing tag.

One day, a kid shows up with something new. He brings with him Pokemon cards. His friends come up to him. They ask him what those shiny cards are. The Pokemon kid shows them. His friends are blown away. From now on, you seem them in that same corner playing Pokemon cards during recess.

The next day, other kids come over to see what the fuss is all about. They see this exciting new Pokemon game and they're all fans now. The Pokemon kid who first brought in the cards is a hit. He's the center of attention and everyone wants to ask him what the rules are. He's getting popular. The Pokemon kid is the heart of the group, and he no longer even has to welcome other kids into the group - his new fans from the previous day do that for him.

The next day during recess, the Pokemon gang, now a huge group, is taking a huge turf. A kid shows up on the other end of the field. He has something new. They're Digimon cards. A few people come up to him. He shows them what these Digimon cards are. He shows them how to play. It has its own little quirks. Its own style. Some kids scoff and head to the Pokemon side. Some kids are blown away and become Digimon freaks. They are now part of the group of kids who plays Digimon.

(And some kids just weren't able to decide between the Pokemon group and the Digimon group, and so they go back and forth)

There is now the Pokemon group. There is now the Digimon group. Some of the Pokemon group switched to the Digimon side. Some of the Digimon side switched to the Pokemon side. The diehard Pokemon fanatics run around the entire playground though, trying to bring new kids into their group. The Digimon diehard fanatics run around trying to bring new kids to play in their group.

One kid shows up, says fuck you all, and whips out a motherfucking Yo-Yo.

This kid with the motherfucking light-up glow-in-the-dark Yo-Yo walks around the playground. The motherfucking Yo-Yo is swinging around. The motherfucking Yo-Yo is sliding on the ground. The motherfucking light-up glow-in-the-dark Yo-Yo is awesome. It's unlike anything else there.

Several kids run up. They want to try the motherfucking Yo-Yo. They ooh and aah, and are blown away. Each one goes up there. They like what they see. They're hooked. They become the Motherfucking Yo-Yo Brigade™.

The Motherfucking Yo-Yo Brigade™ has its fans now running around the playground. They want to get other kids to see the motherfucking Yo-Yo. They get many, many kids come over. Many kids try it out. They like what they see.

Some of those kids were from the Pokemon group.
Some of those kids were from the Digimon group.
Some of those kids were ones that never had a group.

The whole time, you have been trying to start a group based around playing Tag.

You love tag. You adore tag. You've played tag everyday of your life. But, your friends who you used to play tag with are gone. Tony went to the Pokemon group. David and Eric went to the Digimon group. Henry joined the Motherfucking Yo-Yo Brigade™. Other friends went back and forth. The gang is gone, all of them are gone, all of them except you and your best friend Mike.

You and Mike realize that you are never going to have a group based on Tag. The Pokemon group is too large. The Digimon group is too loud. The Motherfucking Yo-Yo Brigade™ is too cool. And so, reluctantly, achingly, you and Mike decide that it's not worth staying around playing tag with so few people. You turn to Mike and ask him what he thinks:

"Mike, what do you think we sh-"
Out of the corner of your eye, you see Mike in the Motherfucking Yo-Yo Brigade™ swinging a Yo-Yo around and walking the dog.

Your world comes crashing down. You know the inevitable has come. You are now alone, you and your once loyal base of Tag players. It's just you now, with the Pokemon and the Digimon and the Motherfucking Yo-Yo Brigade™ taking up the entire playground. There's no room left for you. Nothing left for you.

And so, achingly, you shuffle your feet, head down, and slowly head to the other side of the playground, to lay to rest your hopes of playing Tag and putting your dreams to rest.

---

The original kids who brought in the Pokemon cards, the Digimon cards, and the Yo-Yo are the candidates.

The other kids who are in the Pokemon group and the Digimon group and the Motherfucking Yo-Yo Brigade™ are the voters.

The growing base of each candidate shows how they attract attention to their campaigns.

The rules of each respective game (Pokemon, Digimon, the Yo-Yo) are the platform of each candidate.

The interchange of kids going from the Pokemon to the Digimon to the Yo-Yo groups represent undecided voters who "cast their votes" for the party.

You represent a small, weak, third-tier candidate, Tag, who never had a chance against the big money and the powerful Pokemon and Digimon and Motherfucking Yo-Yo Brigade™ groups. The caucuses narrow down the field, as we saw tonight, to just a few candidates, just like the playground.