system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
I want to quit my PhD but I don't know how to tell my PI

TL/DR: mental health is suffering and I don't know how to tell my new PI that I want to leave the program.

I am a first year grad student studying microbiology. I moved across the country for what I thought was my dream program. In a lot of ways it is, everyone is very nice & I've made a few solid friends & I am co-mentored by two PIs who are both very patient, kind and understanding. However, I hate it here. I have absolutely no interest in what I'm doing for my research or what I'm learning in classes. I miss my friends and my family and my boyfriend who are all thousands of miles away. I thought I wanted to do research forever, but I am 6 months in and already exhausted by the day to day work as well as the entire atmosphere around me. I spend my time day dreaming about doing literally anything else. I've developed a panic disorder and I have severe panic attacks multiple times a day, almost every day. The idea of doing this for 5-7 more years feels like staring down the barrel of a gun. I've ended up making multiple calls to my campus crisis center. I honestly don't know how no one has noticed that I spend every day on the verge of a breakdown. My therapist is recommending I take a medical leave of absence, but I know if I did I would never come back. I have basically decided that I need to get out, but I don't know how. 

I am fully funded for the next \~18 months on a grant, after which I would apply for fellowships & such. I feel awful because by an unfortunate coincidence, I would be the fourth person to leave this specific project (all bc of personal circumstances, not the PI or the project itself). I also know that I was chosen for this position over other graduate students, meaning that by leaving I am wasting a year of my PIs' funding and leaving them with no one to work on this project, when they could have chosen a student that may have stayed the whole time. 

As I said before, I am being co-mentored and they are both great people. I don't know how to even start this conversation. One of my PIs is also a very new faculty member and I have read that having a PhD student quit can negatively impact chances at grants & tenure. I really don't want to negatively impact my PIs' and I don't want to be the one who ends up sinking this project by leaving. I've barely even started on it. 

I am thinking about asking to change my degree objective to a masters so that I don't leave with nothing & maybe I could help wrap this project up while I am around. I don't know how well that conversation will go, or if its even possible since I only started in the fall of 2019 and am not very far along, technically still in my fourth rotation. 

Is there any advice on how I can start this conversation with my advisers without burning bridges? Is there a typical way people approach this gently & gracefully?
gpt
Have you considered a leave of absence to get yourself sorted out? Or, are you just over it?

I think it’s great you’re taking into account the impacts this will have on the PIs. Going the masters route may be the best situation for the PIs without making yourself too much more miserable.