system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
[GEICO] If GEICO only insures humans, who insures the Gieco Gecko?
gpt
The Geico Gecko is a special case, in that it needs no insurance. In fact, the Geico Gecko is immortal and eternal.

You may recall the 'fiction' film Matilda. You may remember, specifically, that Aunt Trunchbull was forced to drink a glass of water containing a gecko by Matilda. This film was not fiction. This film was a precise re-enactment of the events as Matilda remembers it, a vanity project now that as a telekinetic she is essentially a tiny god. She runs her own vast crime empire in the underworld, a brutal and terrible organisation filled with slave traders and used car salesmen.

But back to the gecko. Exposure to Matilda's powers, followed by the bizarre environment involved in the stomach of the Trunchbull (A nexus of negative energy) created the Geico Gecko. Bursting forth from the womb of hate, the Gecko found itself sentient and dead, with its body reparing itself quickly from any damage, even utter obliteration (The Gecko finds it very amusing to tear into nuclear plants. The Gecko rather likes bomb tests. The Gecko is making me write this). The Gecko can exercise telekinetic abilities thanks to the last experience it had before being drunk into The Trunchbull as well as some control over water, again, thanks to being immersed in the glass of water.

The Gecko works with Geico to gather money: Paying for the vast psychic amplifier it wishes to extend its powers of telekinesis is much easier than using slaves.