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human
Serious problems with coworkers at the lab. Some advice needed.

It's gonna be a long one, I'm sorry.

So I came to this research institute in the UK to do a 5 year postdoc. (I know, right? Awesome opportunity.) 

After the first month a postdoc, who was working closest with me (a bit of a knowitall, who really likes hearing his own voice, but otherwise I thought he was a nice guy) suddenly became hostile. Friday -fine, Monday -not so fine. In fact, another colleague of mine (who is the real subject of this post) actually had to tell him to dial back a notch. Since then he merely ignores my presence, which is fine. (I repeatedly tried to ask him, talk to him, he refuses. I have no clue what his problems is.)

The other guy I thought was a friend. We had once brush-in (I tried to help him and another coworker with an instrument, and he really snapped at me. To this day I don't understand why. I wasn't asked to help, true, but come on, I tried to help, not push him down an elevator shaft). I apologized, and left. From then on, every single time I asked him if he wanted coffee or something, he excused himself, yet 5 mins later he was in the canteen. He also stopped saying hi, and did not look at me, when we met on the corridor. Most peculiar. (The other colleauges are not very relatable: one middle aged woman is trying to convert me to fundi Christianity, and there's a very tight group which just ignores my presence; sometimes I feel unconfortable when I walk into the lab and two of them are alone. So not much interaction with humans here.)

Anyhow, a month or two later he texts me if I had a problem with him, because he would expect me to tell him if I did. I said I did not. (Also thought I should point out that HE DID have a problem with ME yet he did not tell me about it, but did not for some reason.) It turns out he is still angry about me fighting him about that instrument. I told him it's nonsense. Why the fuck (pardon) would I pick a fight over a scientific instrument with one of the two people I count as friend? I do not even pick fights with people I know hate me (see the guy above), so why with a friend anyway?? He somehow refused to see the point, and turned hostile from then on.

Fast forward today. Narrow staircase, I'm rushing to the seminar, hoping to have a wee and grab a coffee before, he is coming up, shoulders set. I turn a bit, expecting him to do the same (otherwise I would have had to hug the wall), he does not, and we bump into each other. Mind you, had I not turned, I would have slammed into him full force.

I stop, start to apologize, expecting he does the same, he rushes forward, and shouts back "fucking dickhead" and some other stuff. Two minutes later I stop him in front of the conference room, trying to talk to him about professional conduct, when he says that I must think him an idiot if I want to make him belive I did not bump into him on purpose. (His body language is extremely aggressive: pushing up against me, fists clenched.) At this point I was more than upset, so I started to say, yes, he IS indeed an idiot if he thinks that, but he just says "come fucking outside you asshole", and still fists clenched, storms out. 

At this point the seminar starts, and I really did not wish to escalate this into a fight; after all it's a fucking lab, not a pub.

When he comes in, he tells me that I'm a prick (I think that was the word, but not sure), and he's not talking to me. The girl next to me looks at me because she thought he told this to her.

So what do I do? At this point I hate every minute I spend in this place at this time.

I want to make a report, but the lab manager (my other friend) tells me not to. She is a good friend of his, and she says he is having issues. Well, I've been having issues, thanks to this douche myself. And she did not see fit to help out, which makes me wonder how much of a friend she really is. (They've known each other longer, that is true.)

I can't just let it slide; I can't talk to this guy because he seems to be bent on aggression, and I really don't want to lose my job for beating the living shit out of his fat ass (yes, I'm full of aggression right now, too). I really ,really just want to quit my postdoc and get a proper job somewhere normal. Any suggestions?
gpt
>I want to make a report, but the lab manager (my other friend) tells me not to. She is a good friend of his, and she says he is having issues.  
  
File a report anyway.  His issues are not yours to deal with.  Make it clear to your lab manager, who should be managing the lab, that his "issues" are creating a hostile work environment and you cannot tolerate it.