system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
CMV: “Being the bigger person” as a concept is idealistic and naive at best and openly harmful at worst

You hear this expression in a multitude of ways - if not as written, then perhaps “When they go low, we go high”, or “karma will get them back.” The problem is, in my eyes, that the society that we have cultivated does not reward this kind of moral victory, and conflates it with weakness and submission.

Firstly, the essence of this phrase is rooted in the idea that a moral victory is the best way to prove yourself as being the better person in the debate, and less willing to stoop to the level of your opponent. Once again, we saw this in the Michelle Obama quote: “When they go low, we go high.” But this approach functionally achieved nothing - going “high” in bipartisan approaches was just met with “low” mudslinging and eventually Obama stopped reaching across the aisle. So essentially, the “low” tactics worked more effectively, which I feel highlights the first issue I have with the phrase - holding the moral victory does not matter in a world where morality is either unimportant or subjective enough to literally be whatever it needs to be for one’s current situation. We find this situation repeated with one of history’s greatest proponents of the idea - Mohandas Gandhi, whose hunger strikes and non-violence were largely initially ignored by the British Raj, since the moral high ground did not matter to them. Only after military force was applied, and the financial exhaustion of the Raj after the war came to a head, did Britain leave India. 

Furthermore, the idea of Karma, and the more simplistic way children are taught to “be the bigger person” and not “stoop to their level” in school and throughout their childhood. Both were common quotes from my teachers and authority figures through my childhood, but ultimately, I would find friends who were being bullied trying to adopt this strategy, and it being taken for weakness or submission. The moral high ground held little comfort over physical pain. Yet, when they would actively oppose bullies, either by choosing to defend themselves, or confront them in other ways, they would see results.

I’ve always believed in this ideal, and think that a world where this was an approach we could take would be, for all intents and purposes, a better world. But my experience irl with it has significantly disillusioned me, so I’d like to hear people’s thoughts on the idea.
gpt
"Being the bigger person" doesn't mean being a pushover. It doesn't mean not standing up for yourself. You can still be honest, straightforward, and confident while "being the bigger person."

If you do something vengeful or morally indecent just because they did it too, that would be "stooping to their level."