system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
[Marvel/Wrestling] What if the radioactive spider had bitten John Cena instead of Peter Parker?
gpt
The spider enjoys a nice bite of potato salad.

More seriously, we get a somewhat less emotionally traumatized, all in all healthier (if not as bright) Spider-Man.  Less web swinging, more clinging to walls and then suplexing people.