system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
[Portal] So it's take your daughter to work day at Aperture science, and I was just wondering what facilities exist to help me take care of (and educate) my daughter?

Also the timetable just seems to stop after lunch? Do I get to go home early?
gpt
*Hello,* \[u/moreorlesser!\]

*Thank you for your* \[APPRECIATION/CONCERN/HORRIFIED CONCERN/WARNING FROM A POST-APOCALYPTIC FUTURE\] *in relation to Aperture Science's Bring Your Daughter To Work Day!*

*Though you may be skeptical of the ability of a subterranean science facility to take legal responsibility of a small child, rest assured. Upon your arrival, an Aperture Science Entertainment Associate robot will be happy to escort your loved one of choice to one of our many Edutainment Opportunities!*

*Why not consider:*

* *Our Potato-Battery Competition (with real potatoes!)*
* *Our "Arsenic: Nature's Sweetener" Experimental Chocolate Tasting Panel (with real arsenic!)*
* *"Flammable or Inflammable", a party game for children aged five and up!*
* *Child-friendly screenings of secret surveillance footage from the Black Mesa R&D Department (maybe they'll spot something we didn't!)*
* *Thanks to our practical experimentation on the "cat-in-the-box" hypothesis, you can now visit our Erwin Schrödinger Cat Graveyard!*

*Finally, if all else fails, your child can contribute to both Science and your work-life balance by burning off some of your Mandatory Test-Track Hours! (Should your child be injured or lost during the testing process, let us know: the Robotics Department will compensate you with a child of equal or greater value, upon request).*

*After lunch, the work-day will end with the inaugural activation of our* ***G****enetic* ***L****ifeform* ***a****nd* ***D****isc-****O****perating* ***S****ystem! Those of you who are worried about missing out on this momentous occasion can breathe easy: space has been cleared in the Central Chamber for all to attend. If you get there early, why not encourage your child's interest in chemical nerve agents by taking a look at our newly-installed neurotoxin emitters?*

*If you do not wish to attend, Aperture Science reminds you of your rights; all of which were removed upon your signing of the Aperture Science Standard Employee Contract. Enjoy the day! And remember:*

*Testing is the future! And the future starts with* ***you!***

*Yours sincerely,*

*The Aperture Science Complaints Department (Floor 576, Building A)*