system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
CMV: transgender people need to look the part if they want their pronouns respected

Let me start by saying that I am pro transgender, I know it's not a mental illness and that gender is not determined by sex. 

That said, I was working at a ladies fitting room when a person came up who had a full, well groomed beard, big men's hoodie, men's sneakers, and women's leggings wanting to try on prom dresses. Now male customers make the mistake of thinking that the men's fitting room is on the same floor with the ladies, so it is not uncommon for me to have to send them upstairs. Its also not too uncommon for crossdressers to shop at this store. This time though the person said "oh... I have to use the mens?" When they told me they were transgender I said well that's fine and let them in. They were with two friends one cis women and another male sexed person with a short beard in full men's clothing also claimed to be a women so I let that person in not wanting to argue. 

So to me, either those women (if they were women and not men trying to exploit the new laws for shits and giggles) need to understand what they look like and not be surprised when they do not get treated like women, or they need to adjust their appearance to be more feminine even if they are tomboys, even though cis tomboys do not have to do that. 

Even if I am wrong and need to be more open minded, it is impossible for me to know what to call someone if little or no effort to look feminine is put forth. And I don't see how I can be faulted for making the mistake when the person is sporting a beard. It just seems unrealistic that someone would expect the world to see them as a women when they present themselves this way. I'm not saying they have to "pass" but effort with visual cues is needed for the rest of us who don't already know them personally. 

It's a "help me to help you" kind of situation in my mind. 

What do you think reddit, should I be more open minded or should transpeople try to look the part if they want to be referred to in a certain way? Thank you!
gpt
Your anecdote doesn't seem to match your title.  You didn't know they were transgender immediately, and they didn't seem mad about that.  Then they said they were, and you respected it.

It seems like this was a perfectly civil interaction that went fine.  Why is it evidence to you that something needs to change?