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human
Supervisor throwing shade for being late in sending my work - how to handle the situation?

Hi! I am a postdoc (US) and need input on how to handle this situation. Here is a timeline for the events:

A few months ago, my supervisor said she needed my help with a grant application due at some point in the future. Both of us thought it would be a good experience. I did not know which grant it was or any of the deadlines.

Early July: I was planning to travel home to see my family for vacation sometime in Sep or October. I emailed my supervisor asking her if it would be OK to take time off. (Note that this was more than a two-month notice for a three weeks vacation). She was OK with my being away. The grant application was not in the picture, so I did not consider it when planning, as nothing was happening.

Mid-July: She emailed that she needs help with the first part of the application due in Early August. I did what I was asked, and everything went smoothly. Nothing else happened until early September.

Early September: five days before my travel, I was asked to write an outline for the proposal part of the grant due the day before my trip. She also mentioned the grant application deadline, which is 20 days after my return. I wrote the outline and sent it and received feedback.

Early October: after I returned, there were 20 days before the deadline (20, including weekends and holidays). I also had a fellowship application of my own to write, due Mid October. I did my best working on both.

Five days before the deadline: In the morning, my advisor sent me an email saying that “the deadline is approaching, and she had to start working on it **herself** and for me to send her everything I have.” I sent her the proposal later that day and asked if there were any other sections I could help with. I never heard back.

Today: there was a group meeting with some of the students in the group. She started throwing shade at me for sending the document late. She mentioned how annoying it can be when people are late. That it is a “pain in the ass” when people do things late and that people “remember” these things. (I suspect she wanted me to help with more sections).

I was very annoyed by the way this was handled. I was never able to respond since he was not addressing me directly. I never got feedback on my work nor recognition for the time I put into this. Moreover, the last thing she mentioned got me stressed. What does it mean that “people will remember”? I believe she was referring to herself and that she will remember this incident in the future. I am applying to academic jobs and have listed her in my applications (with her permission and blessing). This statement worried me about the letter she might write if contacted.

So, my question is: **How do I handle this? Should I bring it up in a few weeks to clear the air? I would like for things to be smooth, but also I want to clarify my position. One issue is that even talking to her is hard because she is unavailable, so I am not even sure how to bring this up.**

I believe I did my best working on this, but the timing of my vacation coincided with this deadline I did not know about. I could not change the timing of my vacation for family issues (and nonrefundable plane tickets). Now, I have an angry supervisor despite my best efforts.

About my supervisor: She is a well-renowned professor with strong connections to academia and industry. **She is widely considered successful and productive**. She has accepted a second managerial job at a big pharmaceutical company. She has become less available since. I think this is why she is asking me to help with these things. I have respect for her which is why I want to fix the situation.
gpt
How do you know that this "shade" was directed at you if a) you weren't late, b) you weren't directly addressed, and c) you haven't spoken directly to her about it yet?

Also, why do you switch between pronouns halfway through your story here?