system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
CMV: Confidence does not comes from within. It comes from external validation and success.

First; just logically it makes no sense that confidence is a choice. If it was as easy saying, “Ok I’m going to be confident” there would be no self doubt, self esteem issues, or insecurities.

Looking more at this, confidence is a result of factors such as self esteem. Self esteem is internal but often it is shaped by outside experiences. A person who has for the last 15 years of his life been told he’s ugly is not going to have a good view of himself. Even if he’s able to accept being ugly, it’s still highly likely that he won’t have that self esteem.

Now let’s say someone is physically attractive from childhood. This person gets attention from the preferred sex even as a child and this continues into high school and college. Do you think this person’s confidence in say dating would be a result his inner thoughts or the validation he received all his life.

Another example would be a job. A person who has worked on their craft for years and had multiple accolades is going to be confident. But what about a person who’s work constantly has errors And they are constantly reprimanded. Not as confident.

When you’re given praise or attention for something you will feel more confident in it. Confidence come from outside in, not inside out.
gpt
Confidence is the result of a process - of having the courage to do something you've never done before or are not good at doing, but are willing to practice at until you get better. The reward for this process is what we typically refer to as confidence.

No one is born a naturally amazing public speaker, or pole vaulter, or comedian.

When people say confidence is a choice, they really mean the choice to give it a try, knowing you might fail or do badly, but that the outcome is that next time you'll do it a little better.

People who are so scared of failure that they don't even try generally view confidence as a commodity that some people have and some people don't, rather than for what it is - the end result of making a choice.