system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
[W40k] What marketing campaign can I create in order to sell this drink, "Coca-Cola"?

Please think of me as of an entreprenous Rogue Trader that has found a STC with a recipe for such a drink. I'm going to show it to Adeptus Mechanicus and want to get atleast a planet or two for it. Since Techpriests have limited tasting abilities, I need to create a presentation to help them understand the importance of my discovery. If you help me, I will make you rich.
gpt
The invention of Coca Cola was first given to us by the Glorious Emperor of Mankind prior to revealing himself to humanity. The beverage recipe was believed to have been introduced some 39,000-ish years ago. 

Rumor has it that this beloved beverage was the choice of the God Emperor himself – however while out guiding other sects of humanity an insidious plot by chaos caused the recipe to become tainted and it was rebranded “New Coke” (As if anything created by the Emperor needed improving – to even think such a thought is heresy!). 

Fortunately years later on his return – the Emperor learned of this and became proud of the people for rejecting this New Coke and he brought back the original recipe. It was in this moment that his resolve was sealed and his faith in humanity was cemented and he would become it’s champion and leader. 

To consume this beverage is to become close to the Emperor himself – this fizzy beverage will eradicate the thirst and chaos inside of you and fill you with his refreshing light!