system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
CMV: People are allowed to have whatever dating preferences they want

In one form or another, this issues comes up when discussing prejudice. My position is that people should be allowed to have any dating preference they want, although they should ideally examine why they hold that preference.

- Preferences can have different motivations. For example, I could have reservations about dating transgender women because I think trans people are gross and unnatural, or because I’m not sure I’d be interested if they had a penis. The first reason is transphobia, a broad prejudice, while the second is a case-specific valid reason (you can disagree, but I’m pretty sure our level of attraction to certain genitalia is at least in part biological). The same goes for everything else.

- Aesthetic preferences are subjective and valid. People seem to have preferences for blonde hair or red hair, and it’s probably true that each person has their own preference in every kind of trait. There do seem to be preferences that are generally shared among  many people though, which can be biologically based (healthy weight and clear skin = good health for reproduction) or just cultural (blonde hair = more attractive). Yes, society influences our ideas of beauty, but that isn’t really relevant on an individual level: no one individual is responsible for society’s beliefs, and all of us are inevitably influenced by society’s ideas.

- Being found attractive is not a right. Yeah, it might suck, but no one is obligated to date or be attracted to another. I have no obligation to like or date someone I find to be unattractive, whether because I find them ugly, unhealthy-looking, or of poor character or habits. I would even say that calling someone shallow for not dating a certain person is not a good idea, because we all have different ideas of what’s attractive. I will say, though, that finding someone unattractive is never a reason to insult them or otherwise be mean to them.

Additionally, I believe that people should ideally keep these things in mind:

- Attractiveness should be judged on an individual basis. Categorical statements are generally driven by prejudice rather than reality. Saying “I don’t find Asians attractive” categorically excludes all Asians, which is most likely limiting, prejudicial, and untrue. Contrast that with a statement like “in general, I don’t find most Asians to be attractive.” The second statement is more accurate: you do find fewer members of that group attractive, but you’d be open to dating that group if you find a a member to be attractive. In other words, I believe that people should really be judging attractiveness; traits like skin color should only be relevant insofar as you notice patterns in what you find to be attractive.

- Preferences should be scrutinized. It’s worth investigating why you consider something attractive or repulsive. Most preferences are purely aesthetic, like hair color or body shape; some are practical, such as seeking a fellow Christian or Muslim partner. However, some preferences are actually cloaks for prejudice; broad statements are usually an indication of this. Categorically saying “I don’t find black people attractive” most likely means you’re harboring some racist attitude.

CMV!

Edit: some of you have been going after the “whatever you want” part. I should clarify that I meant that people can have whatever dating preferences they want within legal limits.
gpt
Well duh, it's a free country. People are literally allowed to have whatever dating preferences they want. You are your own person, and there is no thought police.

That being said, many people can't have express whatever dating preferences they want. For example, it's illegal for men to want to date men in Saudi Arabia. It's illegal to have a preference to date children, animals, dead people, and close relatives in the US. 

Even in countries and situations where there are no explicit laws, there are often significant social pressures on dating. For example, religious men and women are often pressured by their parents, friends, and society into dating within their faith, even if they want to date someone with different beliefs. There is a big taboo in dating someone much older or younger than yourself as well. Even if you don't want to date anyone, there is a lot of pressure to get married and have kids. Finally, people who want to date someone who is married are considered bad people. In this way, there are many societal, if not legal, limitations on dating preferences. 

Coming back to the original point, of course you can have whatever dating preferences you want. You can also be as racist, sexist, mean, etc. as you want. It's a free country and others can't control your thoughts. But that doesn't mean other people have to give you a free pass. Your argument is like when people complain about perceived limits on free speech. There is a right to free speech, but there isn't a right to be praised or even listened to.