system
Given the following post, respond as if you're commenting on Reddit:
human
[Charmin Bears-verse] Why are bears in this universe so obsessed with toilet paper?
gpt
In winter, bears enter a torpid state, similar to hibernation. They don't eat, living off their fat stores. Neither do they defecate, forming a fæcal plug that is hard and fibrous. Come spring, they arise and hunt and forage. And poop. The fæcal plug can contain bones, shells of nuts, tins found in human campsite trash, leathery husks of pelts from eaten animals, bits of gravel and asphalt devoured for the road salt that had been sprinkled upon it, and copies of Mad magazine. Pooping out this fæcal plug can be un*bear*ably painful and leaves our ursine friends with a raw and sore fundament. As they are so sensitive, soft toilet tissue is a paramount concern for all bears, from Smokey The Bear to Iorek Byrnison, from Paddington to, er, Pooh.