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`Remembrance of Things Past': Perceptions of Marital Love from its Beginnings to the Present

How do married men and women remember their love for their spouse at the beginning of the relationship before marriage and how do they currently perceive their marital love? A total of 581 middle-aged adults, 44 to 47 years old, married an average of 18 years, was surveyed regarding four types of love (Eros, Ludus, Friendship-based Love and Agape) at two relationship stages-retrospectively, at the beginning of the love relationship with their current spouse and currently in the marriage. Findings showed that the perceived strength of erotic and ludic love was higher at the beginning than it was currently for both men and women, and the perceived strength of agapic love was higher currently than it was thought to have been at the beginning, but only for men. The perceived degree of Friendship-based Love (FBL) remained the same across stages. Results also indicated that men and women differed in love experiences to a greater extent at the beginning of the relationship than currently. Most importantly, changes in perceptions of love appeared to have meaningful implications for the current affective quality of the marriage for men and women. Shifts in perceptions of erotic, ludic, friendship-based and agapic love predicted marital satisfaction as well as other salient relationship characteristics, such as sexual satisfaction, non-monogamy, relying upon one's spouse for help and comfort, as well as spending time with, feeling close to, respecting and helping one's spouse.