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As Time Goes by: Boomerang Marriages, Serial Spouses, Throwback Couples, and Other Romantic Adventures in an Age of Longevity, by Abigail Trafford

Abigail Trafford, a Washington Post columnist, examines in her book As Time Goes By: Boomerang Marriages, Serial Spouses, Throwback Couples, and Other Romantic Adventures in an Age of Longevity the trends in generational changes in marriage. Coupled with increased longevity, these changes result in a greater variety of relationship and family structures among older adults than we have previously known. As Time Goes By gently, with stories of couples, studies the changing nature of romantic relationships between older adults age 50–85 in current time. The author relies primarily on a narrative style, making generous use of interviews and story lines, allowing an easy but informative reading. This timely book is comprised of 12 chapters in 4 sections. Part I, “Turmoil,” explores the discontinuities and transitions associated with aging through retirement, illness, and differences in aging rates. One central theme of this section is the challenge posed when couples go through these transitions at different times. Each partner is living in a different mode. Transitions are different today compared to a century ago because of increased longevity. Family unit bonds are different across the lifespan. Part II of the book is titled “Surprise.” This section focuses on the inaccurate stereotype of stability in relationships among older couples. Role changes, breaking up, and falling in love are among the phenomena that are not traditionally associated with this age group. The ebb and flow of relationships during critical life events are explored. Today we are seeing these transitions as the norm. Part III, “Truth and Reconciliation,” is concerned with the positive, stable aspects of relationships among older couples. Long-term couples probably have been through the crucible of hard times at some point, and tend to be the stronger for it. Stable marriages endure many challenges in life and the triumphs of survival endure forever. Other relationship types are also explored. For example, “boomerang” couples, who have previously divorced and remarried each other, are becoming more common.