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A couple of days ago, Nicola Sturgeon suggested that, when out, in crowded places, where it was difficult to socially distance (on the bus, in a supermarket for example) the people might like to consider wearing a face mask. Not a medical quality face mask, you understand, but one which would stop you spitting tiny droplets of saliva as you speak, especially when pronouncing “p” “t” and “b”. Not particularly for your protection but for the protection of others around you.

Well, you’d have thought that the end of the world was nigh. People on Twitter going wild saying that “Sturgeon”  wasn’t telling THEM what to do. They were British. So there! Others suggested that they would only wear a facemask if it had a union flag on it. (Well, that would keep people away, let’s be fair.)

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We need to remember that at no point did Nicola mandate this.

Jackson Carlaw asked what evidence she was using to suggest such a thing would be advantageous, and tweeted that there was no border and we were all one country (yeah I know, but maybe he doesn’t).

Wee Fluffy got himself in a terrible state. Matt Hancock, presumably Fluffy’s idol, has said that he doubted that they do any good and Fluffs was all of a dither about people being confused if England didn’t advise face masks and Scotland did. I’m confused,  he apparently tweeted. Not that that came as any surprise to any of us.

Opinion: David Mundell MP | Peeblesshire News
“Get my bags, Muddy”

I mean how would people know what do do when they got to the border. Good question.

OK, apart from the fact that most people shouldn’t actually be crossing the border right now, Fluffy may, or may not, be aware that there are many things which are different on one side than on the other. And somehow people do know.

For example, to the north of the border, there are no prescription charges, to the south each item costs £9.15, although there are exceptions to this involving age, medical conditions, pregnancy, and certain kinds of, but not all kinds of, benefits. Now that is confusing.

Primary education ends after 7 years in Scotland and after 6 in England, university courses are of different duration, drink driving laws are different, and so on and so forth.

In fact, this has gone on for a great deal longer than the period in which there has been a Scottish parliament. Indeed Gretna, just over the border in Scotland, has become world-famous and made much money, based on the fact that for many years in Scotland you could marry at 16 without parental permission, whist in England, you had to be 18 to do that. 16-year-olds had to have mummy and daddy’s OK.

There are hundreds, if not thousands of things that are different here, given that Scots Law is entirely different from English Law. You’d have thought that an ex-Secretary of State for Scotland, who happens to be a lawyer, might have grasped that. But then, as I’ve said elsewhere, they didn’t call him “Fluffy Muddle” for nothing.

Anyway, you’re letting me haver on without getting to the point and Munguin is looking cross.

And the point is this. Boris Johnson has just said that it would be sensible for people to wear masks when coming out of lockdown, contradicting what Old HandThingy said the other day… and the good thing is that Mundell won’t be muddled about it any more… or will he?

[You could have said that considerably more succinctly. Get yourself on a writing course. Kind regards, Munguin.]

This just seen:


How embarrassing!



Boris Johnson is Prime Minister

What to say?

Well, let’s start off with the president of the United States. It wouldn’t be surprising for a man in his position to congratulate a newly elected leader of an ally. Nicola Sturgeon has done so (see below). But Trump added: “He’ll be great”. Erm, no he won’t Donny.

Then there was Ruth, who has kept an incredibly low profile since she backed, very publicly. Sajid and Gove just before they crashed out


Seemingly unmindful that her constituency and her country voted to stay in the EU, her priorities are to slap Nicola Sturgeon down and prevent Jeremy Corbyn getting into government in England.

Seemingly a no-deal Brexit is no longer any kind of priority for her. 

Ho-hum. Then there’s…


  • David Mundell


I congratulate Boris Johnson on his clear win in the leadership contest. Our party must now unite behind the new leader and Prime Minister, so we can get on with the job of delivering Brexit, whilst maintaining a strong United Kingdom.
Mr Mundell has been vocal in the past, not only about how disastrous leaving the EU would be for the country of which he is some sort of governor-general, but also quite clearly stating on Twitter on several occasions that he could not work with Boris Johnson and would not serve under him.
David Mundell, December 2018: “Given my views about Mr Johnson which are well known, [serving in his cabinet] would be extremely difficult. “Mr Johnson and I don’t agree on a whole range of issues and I don’t see myself being able to serve in that way.”
As usual with Mundell, however, it appears to be a load of p*ss and wind, as there is absolutely no mention of his resignation in Mundell’s tweets today. At least so far.
But Ross Thomson has been Mr Johnson’s campaign manager in Scotland, and Ross is nothing if not ambitious.
Maybe Fluffy won’t need to resign.
Adam Tomkins also chipped in with his twopenny worth of sycophancy. No priority for a sensible Brexit, never mind doing what the bulk of Scotland voted for and scrapping it. Oh no. The only thing the Tories seem to care about is maintaining their chance of a seat in the House of Lords

Adam Tomkins MSP
Congratulations to

 His job now is to safegaurd (sic) the Union from the three people who, in their different ways, would destroy it: Sturgeon, Corbyn and Farage.

Nicola had the good manners to congratulate him but went on to make it clear that she had priorities which, unlike the Tories’, included trying to protect Scotland from a catastrophic Brexit. Odd that!

Nicola Sturgeon

1. Congratulations to Boris Johnson on his election as leader of the Conservative Party. Despite our many differences, I will do all I can to develop a way of working with him that respects and protects Scotland’s views and interests.
2. However, it would be hypocritical not to be frank about the profound concerns I have at the prospect of his premiership. I am certain that the vast majority of people of Scotland would not have chosen to hand the keys of No 10 to someone with his views and track record.
3. Most immediately I, the Scottish government and the SNP

will work with others to do everything we can to block his plan for a no-deal Brexit – which would do catastrophic harm to Scotland.
4. And I will continue to advance the preparations to give Scotland the right to choose our own future through independence, rather than having a future that we don’t want imposed on us by Boris Johnson and the Tories. That is now more important than ever.
I suspect there will be much to say, some funny, and some tragic, over the next few weeks…  But let’s take a break now with a few words from someone who worked for him…

Laura Murray 

When I was 21 I worked for 2 years in the Mayor of London’s press office while the Mayor of London was Boris Johnson. He was incompetent, chaotic, lazy and genuinely seemed to not give a shit about anything at all. Possibly the worst type of person to be our Prime Minister.


Maybe if you were the prime minister, Mikey, you could get a better camera, and just a wee word of advice…maybe don’t do the taping in a sauna next time.


Boris, it seems, dislikes Scots as much as Scots regard him with suspicion. Although using Gordon “North British” Brown as an example was an unfortunate choice.

boris on scotland


Image result for rory the tory

And Rory the Tory has promised to set up a Department for the Union, with its secretary of state being his deputy, the First Secretary, no less!

Apparently, it will deal with all the “regions” and have a multi-billion pound budget… and, of course, it will bring us all together again after Brexit.

Oh, you have to laugh, but then Munguin has more of a chance of becoming prime minister than he does so I reckon we can dismiss that idea.


Le Royaume-Uni est déjà effacé, quel que soit le futur Premier ministre



Hmmm. There might have been a more tactful way to put this. I mean it does sound, at first read, like an instruction. Do it and do it now!

With the lowest pension in the developed world, pensioners choosing between heating and eating and being about to be hit with a bill of £155 a year in a tv tax, your lot are hardly showing willing, and given that, until recently it was your area of responsibility in England, I have VERY little confidence in your ability to manage it.

As usual, Britain completely neglected to plan for the future. In this case for a surge in people ageing… It’s almost as if they hadn’t had 70+ years’ notice that that was going to happen.


And, does that include standing up before running away with all the EU money which was intended for Scottish farmers, and depositing it in the bank accounts of English Farmers?

Still, that probably IS working for Scotland in your book.

Pinneys, eh?

And why do all you people keep on talking about “our” United Kingdom?  It’s about as united as an undone jigsaw that’s lost 50% of its pieces.  Has some focus group told you that if you repeat it over and over, this unity will eventually percolate into our thick “ordinary people” heads?

Image result for tory power stance

Because, a bit like standing with your legs open to make you look powerful, it doesn’t work. (Actually, that makes you look like you wet your pants!)

Seriously, it either gets on our nerves or makes us laugh like drains.

Image result for tory power stance
Obviously, this one renders us silly with laughter.

In the aftermath of Brexit, the country is divided as never before… and I can’t see that using the phrase “our united kingdom” (or the other one we hear ad nauseam, “our precious union”) is going to change any of that.

Image result for map of uk eu election results

The Tories are divided; Labour is divided; young and old are divided; the countries of the union are divided. Almost everything about this godforsaken place is divided, and you using stupid phrases at every turn only makes it worse.

Give it up.


LOL. Good old Ken Clarke…






A bit of a mix here today. The cartoons weren’t that great this week and didn’t warrant a whole page (but thanks to BJSAlba for sending anyway), so I threw in some pics of the march and some figures from Marky about the English election results.


CON 3562 (-1332)
LAB 2021 (-81)
LD 1344 (+700)
GRN 265 (+194)
UKIP 31 (-145)
IND 1044 (+606)
OTH 134 (+56)
NET COUNCIL CHANGES: CON -44 LAB -6 LD +10 RA +1 IND +2 NOC +37 #LocalElections2019 #LE2019
Somewhat unbelievably, Mrs May has concluded from these results, a massive shift from Brexit Supporting parties to those opposing it, that the great British public wants her to get on with Brexit. If this were anyone else, you might wonder at her sanity, but in the case of May who has called everything wrong from Day 1, we all know that she is batshit and frankly, why would we expect anything different…?
Dave sent me this pic from the march, but I couldn’t upload it so I found it online. He writes: The picture was taken of the end of the march just after Charing Cross. About 16:00. So this shows around a third to a quarter of the route, just before it gets to George square. I think more than 90,000 people.







As noted earlier we all know that the prime minister is batshit… not so sure about Mundell, who has sworn that no one ever mentioned being thrown out of the EU if we voted for independence. Is he mad as a box of frogs (eh?) or is he just desperately hoping that the Maybot will reward his slavish loyalty with a K or an OBE or something?

!£tory conference
He certainly draws a massive crowd, eh?





Image result for david mundell picking food out of his beard

David Mundell

Verified account

Follow Follow @DavidMundellDCT

.@theSNP and Labour MPs gloat as the PM’s Deal voted down. And what are their solutions? A General Election, an independence referendum . Yet again politicking and self interest over the National interest


Dear Mr Mundell,

Scotland voted 62-38  to remain in the EU.

And that was the view before your idiot government and prime minister got its incompetent, unprincipled hands on the negotiations.

Every Westminster constituency in Scotland, including your own; every council area too, voted to remain.

The SNP IS voting in the national interest.

May I take this opportunity to remind you too, that there were also many Tories (your party, you may recall) who voted against the prime minister’s deal. I don’t need to reiterate any of the comments they made about slave states. I’m sure that their vitriolic comments are imprinted on your brain. So why just have a go at the SNP?

Indeed, two Tory Brexit Secretaries and a foreign secretary, not to mention countless junior ministers and PPSs resigned over the hopelessness of your prime minister’s deal.

If you wanted to know the solutions put forward by the SNP, then the paper produced by the Scottish government would have been a good place to start. You are supposed to have read it, although I doubt you have.

Secondly, had you been paying attention, the other day Joanna Cherry put forward a proposal. 

Have you any solution?

This whole ridiculous Brexit situation came about because your last leader decided to try to outwit Tory MPs who were plotting to defect to UKIP. He was so sure that he would be in a coalition with the Liberal Democrats (who would veto his Referendum plans) that he took a risk on everyone’s future to save his party’s bacon.

Then, as we all know, it went horribly wrong, at which point he disappeared into a millionaire’s shed to write his memoirs, make more money and leave everyone else to clean up his mess.

How typically upper-class Eton Boy.

Finally, I’d remind you that you told us during the Scottish referendum campaign, that it would be disastrous for Scotland to be outside the EU, and you did so again during the EU referendum campaign.  I don’t know how genuine that was, but it remained your opinion until England voted to leave. Proud Scot, huh?

Presumably this change of heart enabled you to retain your seat at the cabinet table, especially after the disastrous 2017 elections where there were other candidates for your post.

Your constituency voted against Brexit; your country voted against Brexit, and you voted to keep your scrawny arse on the front bench, where frankly you never deserved to be.

And you try to make political capital out of the SNP voting the way Scotland voted.

I’m ashamed that you represent my country in Westminster… You make me sick.


Yours sincerely



PS: Incidentally, f you want to hear more people jeering at your government then I suggest you go… well, just about anywhere and open your ears.

For a proud Brit Nationalist, you appear to have no earthly idea what a fool your people have made of the UK.




Tories with a truck claiming the SNP want you to pay a car park tax

Well, and maybe you could say, opportunists, chancers, amateurs, third raters?

And while we are on the subject of the third rate opposition in Edinburgh…

Telt, again?


Bonus Pic:

Random Thoughts

Where? In Japan? On the Moon? 

Senior Tory to me: “with the vote postponed, are the promises to my colleagues of peerages and knighthoods still good?”. They should have read the small print.

So Dame Arlene no more?


Nei, du kan ikke så gå bort og prøve med Nord-Korea

Senior Tory: “The Irish should really know their place”.

They do know their place, mate. They are in a union with 26 other nations which have got their backs. That is their place and they are IN it.

Unlike the UK which is Billy No Mates and OUT of it.

Also, this is a really interesting negotiating strategy. Only the British Tories would have thought up something so fiendishly cunning.


Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha… where are you resigning, Fluffy?


I dunno…

Does anything ever go right for this hapless woman?


I nearly forgot. We have this extravaganza to look forward to.

From Torquil Crichton.

McDonnell to – we call the shots “We’ll put one down when we can win it. My view (on SNP) is they want is to lose a vote of no confidence, avoid a general election, they know we’re breathing down their necks in Scotland and will take seats off them.”

McDonnell, obviously high on something, putting the head jockess well and truly in her place over a proposed motion of no confidence. I expect they don’t want to call a motion of no confidence because, in a general election that might follow, they might lose, and look REALLY pathetic, or worse still, win, and have to sort of the s***show that May is leaving in her wake.

Oh, and just out of interest, has anyone seen any evidence of this neck breathing anywhere?




Let me translate:





Image result for david mundell beard



Image result for may and Corbyn debating cartoons






Will you give up the ministerial car and the fat salary and resign on “principle”?

Or cling on to the perks and run away from questions.