4 Important Questions To Ask Yourself Before You And Your Partner Decide To Move In Together

Are things starting to get serious with you and bae? We mean let's take the next step forward kinda serious and not let's get a late night ice-cream together serious! Usually there are various steps to determine the level of seriousness you achieve in a relationship. Most of them are subjective, depending on what your benchmark of something serious is. The one step though that securely seals the deal between two people, is one step short of marriage. It's deciding to live in together.

A lot of thoughts and emotions go in to eventually taking a step towards living with someone. There is a lot of confusion. The person won't just be your roommate/flatmate but an integral part of your decision making process, home-wise and otherwise. Confusion can sprout up in the form of a lot of questions. Some of you might take them head on and probably wing it and go with the flow. Some of you may want to weigh your options before making this decision.

We can simplify the process a bit for you by talking about some things you can keep in mind before taking the plunge.  There might be some things you'd like to deliberate on, not with your partner but with yourself first, just so you can gauge your own response  and be ready (or not) to live in with your partner.

Are You Ready To Share Your Space?

Space can be a very ambiguous concept. Ask NASA if you don't believe us! Sharing space could mean the physical space around you. Like your house, your bed, your bathroom. Everything which was once your sole territory will be compromised and you would have to share it willingly. It's can get a bit tough when you've been living all by yourself and doing everything on your own.

Another aspect of space is mental and emotional space. Living with someone you're romantically involved with can take up a lot of your mental space. It can also be emotional investing. Are you ready to share the abundance of space with your partner? Of course you can do it healthily by defining boundaries but it's a challenge still. Make sure you're completely ready for it.

Questions to ask yourself before a live in relationship© Thinkstock/Getty Images

Are You Ready To Live With Someone Who Has Different Tastes And Choices?

No two people are alike. That's an established fact. There will always be difference of opinions and life choices. Unless of course, you've found your Siamese twin (which FYI is mighty weird), you will always differ in various ways. While you may bicker every now and then, and enjoy these little arguments you have from a distance, it's a different ball game when you live together.

From different mannerisms to habits to even choice in food and lifestyle, everything might differ. For instance she might not be as big as a clean freak as you are or she might be a bit too outgoing while you would rather stay at home. Living with someone everyday with small or big differences can get taxing, unless of course you both compromise and fit in with each others preferences comfortably and balance out your differences. Maybe think about what you two are like people and take it from there.


Are You And Your Partner Willing To Share Finances?

This is one question that can irk you a bit. It's uncomfortable at first because you are going to take a step forward and ask someone to move in with you. Obviously, you expect her to share finances as well and not leave the load of paying for her share, on you. You have to be very sure she would be willing to split the costs with you, unless you're more than happy to pay for her share if she's financially unstable monetarily. If you've been asked to move in with her, are you financially stable to do so right now? Will you be in a position to pay for rent, utilities, groceries, eating out etc.?

These are imperative questions you need to ask yourself and maybe have a detailed discussion with your partner about the same.


What Is Your Ultimate Goal/Motivation To Live With Someone?

There could be many reasons to move in with someone but you have to be very clear as to why you want to. Is it because you've been together for a while and this seemed like the next step? Or are you being financially practical and think it's a great opportunity to split costs etc.? Or is it because you both eventually want to get married and want to see what's it like to live together? Whatever your reasons may be, think about the one which is most valid and ruminate over it. If it's worth it and if it's something you really want or need, definitely make the right choice.


These four questions should probably clear the air for you a bit. Sometimes live in relationships can collapse, sometimes they stay stagnant and comfortable and sometimes they lead to marriage. Whatever is on your agenda, the initial dilemma should definitely be cleared off first. So if you're confused about wether or not its time to live in with your partner, maybe contemplate and think about all the possible pro's and cons before having a dialogue about the same, with your partner.

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Photo: © Madras Talkies, Dharma Productions (Main Image)

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