Well Blmoon, pretty big Friday

  • Dear Blmoon,

    WEll as you know last Friday was my 27th anniversary, and I spent the day with my lawyers.

    Drew had promised if I didn't cry all day he would take me out for dinner, so I put on my brave heart and went.

    We went over alot of info we both already had, and then she handed me a stack of papers, thicker than a phone book and said take this home, go over it and tell me if you see anything we need to know, this is Rons bank statements for the last 3 years.

    WEll holly molly, the things I found in there. They have been going on big vacations, Mexico, vegas, they go to Washington alot.

    They eat out 4 nights a week, and still spend $260 a week at Safeway.

    He is living this extravagant lifef and telling me he is poor.

    Also he is a member of a dating sight called friend finders, and he rents hotel rooms close to his house a few times a month.

  • Well Nancy talk about a GOOD splash of cold water! I knew this day was coming but nothing would have been as effective as holding truth in your hands in black and white. You are holding a bipolar lifestyle--reckless reckless reckless--wild money spending--and promiscuoiuse s ex----and now do you see how not a HOME those two make? I told you you were wise to get this divorce done befor the financial ruin comes and wipes you out as well. His spending habits can not be maintained. Didn't I tell you other partners were involved. You could not imagine his lifestyle because it has no reference in your mind. You are so home and family oriantated and you always turned a blind eye to his other side. You were his anchor that kept him at least one foot out of the grave and from total financle and personal destruction. FRIEND FINDERS? I told you SHE would have to be in your shoes as the other woman as the problem is HIS and now can you see how unloving of yourself to ever have felt rejected. He is incapable of an intimate relationship with anyone. All those vacations and dinners out have no meaning at all as those two are numb and too restless to feel anything real. That's why excess consumes them. Do not feel foolish or regretful--BUT be the new NANCY who has learned plenty and thank God you are loved and guided and about to start a really NEW life. There is a man out there for you and you will never go through this again! BLESSINGS!

  • Dear Blmoon,

    Yeah I get it now and it makes me wonder how many other times he cheated on me that I don't know about.

    I can't imagine why he would choose this life over what he had, but I guess that is his problem, not mine.

    I don't think he will ever get it, what he gave up being so much more than he will ever have.

    I almost want to call and tell her about the dating sight, but no, I will let her suffer as he gets cold when he is cheating. You think he is depressed or having a hard time at work, comes home and drinks, but really its the guilt.

    I actually flirted with a cute man that shops in my store today. I have seen him alot and we are always in each others path when I am shopping and today he came through self check out and I thought what the heck and went over and teased him about all the junk food he was buying.

    He seemed really shy and I almost felt bad for teasing him, but mayber next time he will talk to me.

    I also wanted to tell you that my brother is very sick, got a staff infection and waited awhile before going for help. He is getting better, but he was really bad.

    Can you see the outcome of my divorce, will I be okay?

  • Glad your brother is doing better--those kinds of infections can realy be life threatening. Your divorce will go in your favour but it will be a fight to keep him in compliance. He will never be receptive to being made to do anything. He realy is mentaly ill Nancy but hehas been given many windows of opportunity to realise that and do something about it. He is all movement and distraction and reflects little on anything--his life is filled with superficial stuff and he is a slave to his adictions. He does not reflect on exactly what you served in his life--he has told himself many stories but he will get it---exactly what you were in his life. He would like to believe you needed him more but realy he needed you and he would have self destructed long ago without you.. And good for you--a full moon flirt! Trust your silly impulses--and know you are very intuitive. You probably made his day! OH--I laughed at you saying you felt like sharing the motel bills with his girlfriend---I thought the same thing! Could feel you'd say that. Actualy I still see a coversation between you two and it will not be what you once expected. BLESSINGS!

    PS--if your brother is receptive to supliments tell him to take garlic several times a day as well as probiotics. Also, to avoid too much sugar for awhile.

  • Dear Blmoon,

    WEll its FRiday again and I have tell you it scares me, I am so tired of bad news and finding out things abut him that I don't want to know.

    I can't wain until a time comes where a day can go by that he is not on mymind.

    I got a letter from the irs the other day, and he is still not paying his taxes. They want over 24 thousand dollars, and he is not responding. They still think he lives here.

    I am fighting with allergies and lack of sleep now and it is making my life so hard, I could use a little joy right now to kick me through this.

    I know we are at the finish line, and soon he won't matter, but I can't help but be sad that he did this to himself, and to wonder if he will ever be okay again.

    You told me she had another man, butm it seems that it is him that is looking, and why when she was enough to rip us all apart.

    I thought once he saw her true side he might try talking to me again, but it seems he is still out searching for his mate.

    I am so tired of being sad.

  • Yes Nancy this reality check does make it black andwhite real and because you only dealt with the worse in little bits but held onto some bit of hope now you are really feeling the weight of it. Truth is a part of you that was the old Nancy had a bad habit of realy not wanting to know. But you are intuitive and always knew and that comes out in weird bouts of unexplainable anxiety. I'm psychic and can tell you that when you know something but do not want to know it it manifests in other body symptoms. The two years befor my son passed away I had unexplainable anxiety attacks--weird fears like when driving. I had to do meditations and EFT but now looking back it was that I knew but could not allow it to be. In your case you did not know how strong you are--you once thought this would kill you but instead you are stronger and yes you will get past it and take the good part of this reality---you once feared most that those two had what you thought was a home and there was love. I did mention he was promiscuiouse. Meaning both of them have s ex with others as a hobby--they swing they go the limitt--it is meaningless sport. She does it mostly to keep him but it is not enought so he goes behnd her back as well and has k inky fun and games. And no without treatment he will not change and is headed in the same path as his mother because they go deeper and deeper into seedy dangerouse lifestyle. I see d rugs and porn and a whole world that you are so lucky to not have cross your door. He has always been doing reckless things but with you he kept it somewhat under control but since you kicked him out he has no reason at all to keep up half a normal lifestyle and had you not filed for divorce you would have not only lost your house but be left with more debt than you can pay off in a lifetime. BE llucky. Find the thank god good plusses. You said he is looking for a mate? NO he is not--he's looking for thrills to fill an otherwise meaningless life. If you look up mental illnesses like bipolar and narssistic personalties you will see that when they are manic s exual exxcess is text book--and they will be extremely reckless and self destructive. You can't save him but you saved yourself and must keep doing that. The best thing he did for you are still with you--your sons!!! Remember to choose love. Let the emotions have their day than choose love. This is how you got this far by honoring emotions--acknowledge they are not forever and take your power back by choosing to find joy--it is all around you. You are just tired. Everything always seems darker when you are tired. Listen to music---enjoy something dear--make something--have an Ava playdate. You will be fine. Consider this on paper reality a gift--as it no longer allows you to imagine the worst--that somhow those two had the home together you craved. BLESSINGS! Buy yourself something nice!!

  • Dear Blmoon,

    WEll thats alot to wrap my head and heart around.

    I have spent the last 3 years hoping he would at least try to come back, to realize that we had it all, and I was his wife, his partner.

    You actually promised me that would happen, and so I have allowed myself to dream that dream. That he was having a breakdown, but would get help and find he was so wrong and begt my forgiveness

    I don't know what kind of life they have, I don't care, all that matters is he isn't here with me and the boys and our lives are irrivocably damadged because of it.

    We are going to be fine, we are already there for the most part, but I don't understand why you thought this would be okay when it isn't.

    This divorce is turning into a war that he and I will never get past. We will not be friends or co parents.

    We will never spend time together again. That sucks.

    I always knew he had a dark side, but choose to believe the good stuff was more important to him.

    And yes i threw him out, but only hoping he would see his mistakes and realize what he was going to loose.

    The only thing he cares about now is that I will get his money and he doesn't even know the half of that.

  • Dear Blmoon,

    Well I didn't think you would reply to my last post and it seems I was right.

    I don't mean to doubt you, but alot of what you have said hasn't happened and It hurts to believe and wait for things that don't happen

    Yesterday of course was friday and I spent the day at the harvest festivasl with my sister and little Ava.

    WE had a great time and the more I am with Ava the more she loves me, so good stuff.

    I sent Ron a Smile instead of a ? this month and he sent the money right away and sent a note saying he loved the smile.

    It almost hurts worse when he is nive to me.

    I am sleeping better and the panic attacks have gone away, thank God.

    Tyler has to have surgery on his hand in a couple of weeks, sio we might take a trip together on my vacation.

    He has started to slowly open up to me about things,

  • A lot of what I have said HAS happened. You just are not happy about what hasn't happened. You can be angry at me and I do not take it personal as I told you whatever Spirit wanted you to know. I know you long enough to know that anger is not easy for you to process. Not all anger is bad. Many empaths fear anger. You have a right to be angry very angry when you had to see in black and white no escaping the truth of Ron and his other life--the part you would rather not know and nobody could convince you otherwise as all you wanted to hold onto was the Ron who loved you or abandoned you as if you were not enough. I never told you Ron would come back before the divorce in fact I told you his regret would come long time AFTER you healed and really didn't care. You told me you coulod never see that happening but you slowly have detached. You are in a better place now than you were the day he left. Right now you are grieving the loss of the little life preserver you clung to while adrift on this rough sea of finding your way home. No matter what I told you you hear what you choose part of the time as it is about survival. I know I told you many times those two had no HOME life like you imagined and be angry at yourself for all the times you put yourself through pain thinking she had what you didn't. When realy you were blessed not to have there far from grace life. Be angry but forgive yourself. This will never happen to you again. This story has not ended yet . Right now it is very REAL isn't it? Very final? IT IS WHAT IT IS. Cling to the moments of love you swear were real and it will only keep you blind to the other REAL. You are stuck in how can it be both. Well it is. Surrender to the truth and keep moving forward. Honor your anger your grief and get it out of the way and get your divorce. I am very confident spirit has NEVER let you down. In fact you have been very blessed with guidance. You are just angry. And I do not do this to feed my ego but to be of service and I trust my gift and trust spirit and one day just like Ron will regret--but will not be able to fix his mistakes--you will as well know what a gift Spirit gave you and will continue to give you as it is their desire you realise your true gifts and pay it forward into the world. Instead of needing Ron to be your world. He is just a safe hiding place and always has been and he wastes your energy love and your gifts---the world is waiting for you Nancy. You do not need me anymore---be your own psychic. You are ready to examine why you were unable to be aware of just who Ron is and this is how a psychic gets very good at her gift. Lessons. When Ron does tell you what you want to hear--it will not be enought because you know who he is now and will never shut your eyes to that. Ignorance may be bliss-- but get it also can be deadly. Count your blessings and sort out your anger and just get your divorce. A lot is going to change once that is final. BLESSINGS!

  • Dear Blmoon,

    Hey, I am not mad at you, only at my life. I feel so stuck, so lost and comfused.

    I know I am strong and that I am lucky and loved, but at this point all I do is work and cook and clean.

    I am affraid to put myself out there, I fear rejection, I don't feel pretty anymore, or even worthy at this point in my life.

    The men I have flirted with have dissapeared. One old friend didn't want to even be friends and the 2 that shop in my store don't shop there anymore.

    The man I flirted with last week hasn't been in the since, and that is so wierd as he was in all the time before I talked to him.

    And I don't flirt like, hey baby, its more like a big smile and conversation, but still it drives them away.

    Even though I have the Ron stuff in black and white, it hurts that he changed so much that he can't see it, what he lost.

    I believe he is happy with his new life, or he wouldn't be there.

    I am not phycic at all the voices in my head are not nice to me eithr, they tell me that I am weak and to get over it, and deal with it.

    I do need you my friend to help me finish this, as I am afraid of my life.

  • Dear Blmoon,

    WEll I guess you have given up on me, I had really hoped you wouldn't. I know I am stuck somewhere between loving and hating him. I know I would never consider putting myself through asnything like that again, but man am I lonely.

    The cute guy I flirted with that stopped coming in my store, came back yesterday, but he didn't even look my way.

    He was in self check and I helped him look up a code for tomatoes, but he was very cold, oh well at least I tried

    I have my boys each making or buying dinner one night a week and it really helps me not get burnt out.

    They seem to enjoy it most of the time, but sometimes pick up fast food or a pizza, and hey thats fine.

    We had a store vote to pick the person who would win the new ipad, from all of us that did the just for u launch, and I won. It hasn't been announced yet, but my boss told me earlier this week it was me. That really made me feel good as I tried so hard to be the best, and finally they noticed.

    Today of course is Friday and I am going to go through the bank statements again and mark the pages we need for the trial. I have been putting that off because it hurts so bad, but I need to get it done.

    I hope all is well with you, and I pray you are still my friend.

  • Congratulations on the ipad! You wil have fun with it. I was thinking of you yesterday and almost sent a post but I have a writing deadline this weekend and it is very challenging and there's always a part of me that would love an out---as shooting for the moon has its doubts! Do they have a network online near you called meetup .com. Or something like that--try googling meet up. I went there by accident one day and wow there were hundreds of local groups who meet up and share different interests. Everything imaginable. Even ghost hunters went in groups to haunted sights. There was a group who did nothing but try new resturants once a week. All they enjoyed was eating good food! I'll get back to you after I get this manuscript out. BLESSINGS!PS--I am fond of you! You are fine--that was a lot to digest! Seeing his other life in black and white is so final--but the truth will set you free. You have a right to a range of imotions but you have done a great job working on that for three years now--honoring yet handling your emotions. You really are in a better place--you will see that soon. FULL MOON--HOWL HOWL!


  • Dear Blmoon,

    Well today out of the blue Ron sends me a text telling me of course that my money will be late as always, but also asking if we could talk. I asked why and he said he wants to talk about what my lawyer is doing and why. Are we going to court and when.

    I texted him back and simpley said call John if you want.

    Is he really that dumb that he would think this is just going to go away?

    I mean what is he thinking?

  • He's still in denial that he no longer is in the driver's seat and he knows exactly what's going on and what is against him. Exactly. What he wants is to see you long enough to try and soften you or scare you or put guilt in you because right now YOU are the only one who can stop what he wants stopped. You did the right thing to decline a last minute "friendly fair" meeting. Let your lawyers do what needs to be done and he has had a long time to do the RIGHT thing. His motives are purely self centered--his self interest his survival and his need to not be told by anyone what he can or can't do. You saw it in black and white---didn't you think past the hurt that boy this guy is surely living a pretty free no resonsabilty life! You can text him one word--What's going on? CONSEQUINCES! Do not meet or talk to him. Tell your lawyer he has contacted you asking for info. He's not that dumb just that desperate! Last month was a rollercoaster universaly--we all had old c rap show up--but today with the taurus moon things calm down a bit and we all get to take a breather from last month--even you! BLESSINGS! And good job! You handled it well!

  • Dear Blmoon,

    Thanks you as always for being there for me. I know I can't talk to him, he would either be nice and try to get into my heart or be mean and try and scare me. I know myself enought to know I can't trust him with my feelings anymore.

    It did make the day alittle harder, but I am paying my bills and trying to be strong.

    I will call my lawyer and let them know he tried to talk to me.


  • You are not being very nice to yourself. So much so you choose the unknown in that favour. Choose love. Remember that ANGER not processed well or completely then goes inwad and then turns on itself. You eat anger like it was cake only to have it turn on you. You are beautiful as you choose to be. Stop toning down. You were born a shining star that had an extra zing but others got nervouse. Such power. And some meek men run. Stop that bad habit--call it out--own it. You need to be your own beloved--the rest will follow! BLESSINGS Be brave yourself and some brave man will surprise you! You lack confidence you attract men who give a spark but then they are like you--self berate and lose confidence--get embarressed--feel that you were really disgusted by their spark that moment that said--hey your interesting. They talk in their heads about all they are lacking just like you! BLESSINGS!

  • Dear Blmoon,

    Well we finally have a court date. It has been hard to get one as the court we went to 3 years ago isn't doing family law anymore and no one there really knew how to transfer the case because it was so old.

    WE have a meeting with a judge in November, Ron can come alone or hire an attorney, and the judge will decide if we have a trial.

    My lawyer said we got a great judge and they are very happy.

    I am so looking forward to this finally being over and my new life beginning.

    I have thought about it and I really don't need a man in my life.

  • BIG HIGS! The awesome, lovely, magnificiant Nancy! Blow yourself a kiss every time you pass a mirror. I am proud of you. That was a chuckle what you said about your case being so old they weren't sure what to do with it. NO KIDDING!!! BLESSINGS!

  • Dear Blmoon,

    WEll yesterday was the day Ron promised to send me my money that was due to me on the first of the month, and I checked before and after work, no money.

    I waited about an hour until I was sure he wasoff work and I sent a text nicely asking him to send it. No reply. I waited and sent it again and he ripped me and said take abreath what is wrong with you ect....

    I tell you it took every bit of strenght I have not to send him a note telling him about himself.

    He doesn't even know his son had surgery 2 weeks ago, not a clue that Trevor got a big promotion, or that Drew finally passed his big test.

    This man is wasting so much of his life on his stupidity that I decided to just let it be.

    He acts like I am some crazy person who irritates him.

    I dont understand I never did anything to him to deserve being treated this way.

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