Tuesday, March 12, 2013

The 6 stages of pregnancy

Stage 1: Deer in a headlight
You've recently found out you're pregnant. You're a mixture of anxious, excited, and scared. Not only do the next 9 months flash in front of your eyes, but the rest of your entire life. You start to feel overwhelmed at the fact that you are going to be a mother and will be giving up so many many things for this litte tadpole looking thing in your uterus. You start to think everyone somehow just knows you're pregnant by looking at you. You're fatigued, have a short fuse, and barely have an appetite. If you get pulled over by a cop, you might just rip the ticket in half right in front of the him (oops).

Stage 2: It's Becoming More Real
You have had your first and possibly second ultrasound. You are really happy and excited for all things to come. You are starting to gain weight in your belly, and you catch people looking at it. You just want to blurt out to everyone that you're pregnant so they don't think it's a beer belly. The fatigue is starting to go away and you're a little less moody. You start to tell a little more friends and family. There still may be times where you actually forget you are pregnant, but overall you're getting the hang of it and starting to look into all the do's and don't's of pregnancy.

Stage 3: You love being pregnant
You are starting to tell everyone. You not only feel great but you look great, people are complimenting you left and right. You're starting to see all those "pregnancy perks" people were talking about. You have the energy to workout, the motivation to work on the nursery and baby crafts, and you're in a good mood all the time. You wish you could stay at this stage the entire time.

Stage 4: Large and in charge
Belly is getting large. You feel large and you look large. Ev-er-y-thing is starting to annoy you. The moodiness is worse than stage 1. You're starting to feel more fatigued and your patience level drops. Those "pregnancy perks" are being overcome by heartburn, being short of breath, and getting too big for even some of your maternity clothes. This is the stage where you find yourself crying over the dumbest. things. possible. Things you are too embarrassed to even mention (I have a laundry list that is more than laughable).

Stage 5: Home Stretch
You're in what they call the "home stretch". Those sweet compliments on how cute you look are now being replaced with "you've gotta be getting close" or "you look ready to pop". All that talk about going to the gym throughout your entire pregnancy: you can forget it. Those workouts are now being replaced with more couch time and more Dorito time. It's just a waiting game now.

Stage 6: Your Baby is Here
After much anticipation, your baby has arrived. It's very surreal. In fact, you might even forget that you're not pregnant at some point. Finally you can replace all the maternity clothes in your closet with your old favorites. Now it's just a matter of getting your "old" body back....


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