Tuesday, September 2, 2008

If there is one thing I know, it is horses

Sitting in my lawn chair at the corner of the arena watching a halter class, three people walk up and stand at the rail in front of me, blocking my view. Two men and a woman not aware that they are in my direct line of sight. I clear my throat. They don't move. The class is a large one and the judge is taking her time. I have already chosen a winnder in my mind and have placed the others according to what I like. For those of you that do not know, halter is based on the horse and more exactly on the confirmation of the horse. Anyhow, getting back to the people.

I decide to listen to them to kill time until the judge has made up her mind. The one man says "If there is one thing I know, it is horses". Interesting statement considering my experience has always been that the more we think we know them, the less we actually know because they will always surprise us. The woman asks, "What are they doing out there?" He answers, "This is a class where they see who is the prettiest horse". "Oh", she says. "Oh", I think. The second gentleman asks, "On what do they base their decision?" "Mostly on how well they are bathed and how nicely the owner is dressed." "Oh", he answers. "NO!", I think as I chuckle under my breath.

"The colorful ones always win", he adds. "Why aren't they riding the horses instead of leading them?" asks the woman. "Because it is early in the show and they haven't told the owners to saddle them up yet", he replies with confidence. The halter classes continue and finish leading into the showmanship classes. Now Showmanship is based on your ability to present your horse. There are specific rules of Showmanship such as squaring your horse up so that front legs are side by side as are the back ones. The handler doesn't actually touch the horse at anytime but rather holds the lead rope up and directs the horse using the pressure from the lead. They walk their horses up to the judge, trot past and stop. Pivot or turn, and line up in a row. At this point, the judge inspects each horse individually as the handler moves around the horse and positions themselves in an exact position that corresponds to where the judge is at any given time. If the judge is at the front of your horse, you stand on the opposite side, as they pass the shoulder of the horse to the back, you are on the same side as the judge. That said, the conversation goes something like this...

"Now why are the same people out there doing the same thing as the earlier classes?" He answers, "Because the judge gave them a second chance."
"Why are they moving around the horse this time?" He answers, "Because they forgot last time." Now I have never been this entertained by a class for as long as I can remember. There is just something ab out his clueless commentary that is adding spice to the classes. Still blocking everyones view and being totally oblivious to it, the woman asks, "So you know the names of all the colors and the breeds and classes and everything?" "Yep, it is really quite easy". "My trainer says I will be ready for Quarter Horse Congress by next year!" I am thinking, "maybe as a spectator".

The questions continued and the uninformed answers did as well until finally the epitomy of my entertainment came to a close when the woman asked the man "Hey, what is that color called?", pointing to a big grulla gelding in the arena. "That is called a cappucinno!" "it is a little darker than a sorrel". He says with all the confidence of a seasoned professional. Everyone within ear shot chuckled and I moved my chair elsewhere.

The view from the back of my horse is all the new people that believe if there is one thing they know, it is horses. If that is the one thing you know, you are in trouble because after all the years I have been involved with horses, if there is one thing I know, it is that none of ever know it all and when we don't, lets use our indoor voices to answer other peoples questions. Here's to you, cappacino boy, see ya at Congress.