

Friday, July 18

Speak Like Me

Nothing of note has happened today, except a slightly larger than expected pay packet, which can only be a good thing. Rather than leaving this post as short as this, I figured I'd write a little on a subject which has been running around my head for a couple of weeks now. Namely, the way in which I speak in real life.

First things first, I come from the West Country in England, which is stereotyped as being farmer country, where everybody is really retarded and backward. This is entirely true. Well, almost entirely true. I know of a few exceptions, myself included (I'm only backward, not retarded), but I know plenty of people who seem to adhere to the stereotype down to the smallest detail. The main reason why the rest of England views us in this manner is because most of us speak in an odd manner. Vowel sounds are drawn out and emphasised above consonants, which basically means that we speak fairly slowly.

Now, I don't speak completely like this, and I really don't notice it whilst I'm in this area, but I notice the way in which I speak differently to the rest of my mates whilst I'm at uni in London. Of course we all speak differently, but I stand out a little because of the little nuances which occur so often whilst I'm speaking. Patrick, you probably didn't notice a huge amount because all English is so different from American. For a start, we pronounce "herbs" right.

The first of these not-so-subtle nuances is the way I pronounce the letter "a" in words such as "bath" and "class." I say it very, very flat, as in the word "flat" itself in fact, whereas most people pronounce it as if it had an "r" after it. Why do they do this? There's no "r" in the word, it's just an "a"! I also extend the vowel sound, as noted above, which makes me sound like a proper west country bumpkin. All good.

What else? Oh yeah, the classic "tooth." This came to the fore in the whole 'knocking out my two front teeth whilst paralytically drunk and not remembering' incident last October. Apparently, pronouncing "tooth" to rhyme with "book" is wrong. It should be the same as "soon." i don't think this is a West Country thing either, just me. Oh well, another individual personality trait. That makes a total of, ummmmm, 1.

I swear far too fucking much as well. I'd be crap on live TV because I swear so much. Every other word is "fuck" or "shit," or so it seems. This isn't just me, I think it's my generation as a whole. Damn us and our profane voices.

I also use random descriptive words all over the place. "Proper" has become my word of choice, replacing "quality," the mainstay from the age of 15 to 18. I tend to say stuff like "yeah, it was proper good" or "nah mate, it was proper smart." Makes no sense, I know.

What annoys me about the way I speak is that it's becoming americanised (note the "s" rather than a "z" in written form though). I use "like" too much when I describe a conversation that took place, and also "And then he was, like..." I obviously watched Saved By The Bell too much when I was younger. That programme was fucking wicked though.

That's about it, I think. Go forth and spread the vocal style of Rob.


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