On the Wall

My mother has a mirror in her guest bathroom mounted to the wall on a hinged arm.  It's a magnifying mirror, and I enjoy getting access to it when I visit.  It allows me to look for stray long, fine, blond hairs that inexplicably sprout on the bridge of my nose.  I can check my eyebrows to assess some DIY opportunities, and I can admire the faint freckles that dot my eyelids and nose.  I have maybe a dozen of them, total.

I can also check out my skin in a thorough way.  In the past decade, my neck has begun to add moles and skin tags intermittently.  My pores are no smaller than they were last time I checked, and my laugh and frown lines are now more of a permanent installation.

I have been considering this miracle product I've seen advertised called Plexaderm.  Essentially, you put it on your wrinkled or puffy spots on your face, and it tightens that area for the day (give or take).

It's crazy expensive, and who knows if it really works.  The ad is compelling, but show me an ad that isn't.  That's an ad that isn't working. So, the question becomes, how vain am I, really?

The answer is, not especially.  I mean, I like to look nice, but it's not at the top of my regimen.  I wear makeup sporadically.  I don't spend tons of money on fancy moisturizers, exfoliation, cleansers.  I buy decent product for my hair - mostly because if  don't, I'll spend the same amount of money on multiple shitty items that don't work.

I don't color my hair, bleach my teeth, laser, sand, plane or needle my face.  I used to fake bake in college, but I got over that once I stopped having to get myself into a formal dress

I buy clothes, but nothing crazy expensive.  I get manicures and pedicures - but the latter mostly because it's critical if I want to wear sandals to work, and I do.

So, I think maybe I'll try drinking more water, keep eating good food, get more sleep, and see if that doesn't do as much good as a tiny tube of $60 voodoo.

So how vain am I?  I think the song is about me.  The song being Elvis Costello's  "Allison".

At the moment, I know the world isn't killing me.

My aim is true, though.

My aim is true.



I wish I had a song named for me. Especially my nom de blog, as there are so many good words that rhyme with Chuck.

I'm not sure I like the idea of seeing my face in extreme closeup, but I have noticed that I'm leaning in closer and closer to the mirror when I do my makeup these days. Pretty soon I'll be applying foundation directly to my reflection instead of my actual face, and nobody wants that.