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Should You Separate Business with Pleasure/Friendships?

August 10, 2017

Enlight of recent/past events I find myself asking this question all the time. Is it ever OK to mix business with pleasure? And I don't mean just on an intimate or lustful level, the pleasure could be your friend, family member someone close dear to your heart.  Like is it your obligation to put someone on that you know, after you did all the hard work to build your business, brand, reputation and connections and then someone close to you seeing all the moves your making and they come to you and say "hey, I'm so proud of you, I can't believe all the accomplishments that you are making and connections you are getting and you know I always wanted to do this or try to do that and never knew how to start, so you think you can look out or put me on", or something in that nature. Is it then your obligation to put them on because you are close to them or have some type of relationship with them. When is it a fine line without destroying your relationship to say you know what "I rather not", but I can maybe lead you in the right direction to get you started.


 Even when having a deeper relationship with someone on the job or someone in your business circle. How awkward is it to face someone that you were sneaking around with and then things don't work out and then what? 9 times out of 10 someone caught feelings and is ready to seek vengeance because their feelings are hurt because things didn't work out how they should have. Or they feel like they can get special privileges because you guys share a more intimate relationship than your other counter parts and they start loosing respect for you and your position. Then the worse part of it, they have an upper hand on you, I'm quite sure while the two of you are laying together secrets are exposed, future business plans are leaked, so on and so you see where I am going with this?



For me, I definitely feel the two should not be mixed. It seems for some reason when I refer a friend or family member to someone or something it never works out. And I end up getting the back lash of it. As a makeup artist I'm constantly meeting new people, going to events and working different gigs. So of course, people are always asking me can I recommend someone for something or can I put them on because like I stated before they just didn't know where to start.  And me being the big hearted person I am. I feel if I'm eating and being successful so should everyone else right? Wrong. Not everyone has the same moral and ethic values as you and people don't understand, when you refer them to a person, job or gig that's your name and reputation on the line that you work so hard to build.


I recently referred two people to a film gig, that I can admit was a big unorganized mess but hey that comes along with the business as well but if you commit to something and getting paid for it, I feel as though you should stick with that commitment. Well my associates didn't feel that way and ended up canceling the job they committed to the night before it was time to film. Long story short, I got an ear full from the producer. And his main thing was like "Yo you referred both people to me and both of the people you referred canceled at the last minute so how does that make you look,? I couldn't say anything because he was right. I looked unprofessional, like I didn't know what I was doing and I helped sabotage a person's project. Luckily, my prayers did not go unanswered (I prayed hard that night) and I was able to turn everything around and reschedule the film. Again, my name was on the line and I did not need this man blasting me all over social media (you guys know how you do).


After that situation, I will no longer do what we call "put someone on", I will show you the way to get started and maybe, maybe if I see you're serious or I see someone who is putting the work in and just can't seem to get on the right path then I don't mind mixing the two because then you know the person understands the commitment and what it takes in this industry to succeed. Just like I had to learn for myself, I feel like so do you. It's not fair to leach off my hard work and then destroy it in 2.5 seconds because you feel this isn't what yo really want or it's a waste of time. I rather keep the two separate to have a little peace of mind. Some drama can be avoided and that's one of them.





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