To Eat, Or Not, Eat Bread: Or, In Other Words, End of My Life. (10 Signs You’re Gluten-Intolerant)


When it comes to most foods, I literally can give up ANYTHING. Cheese? Sure, we aren’t technically supposed to digest the stuff anyway (unless, we’re in Paris, of course). Dessert? Oh, okay, let the loud singing begin. Carry on, lovely mental retaliation, “She wore a(aaaa) itsy-bitsy-teenie-weenie-yellow-polka-dot-bikini!” Meat? Hell yea, get that shit out of my face. However, there is one thing that I hold dear, very, dear…


Bread. I truly adore bread. It seems so…Parisian. And, on any given day you’ll find me with tiny teacups full of expresso, sadly attempting French accents, pretending I can understand French-indie movies, hopelessly tying scarves around my neck, and stuffing my tiny Chihuahua named (ready?!)…Ciel, in my purse pretending I’m going to the French market to pick up dinner.  Obviously, coming home with one of those lovely, soft, chewy, baguettes fresh from the bakery. Perfect life, hello(ooo), I’ll see you soon! Or, maybe not…

Aside from the fact I like to pretend I live in Paris every other day, the funny thing is-going back to my love affair with bread-I actually truly have given up meat, cheese, and basically everything under the sun that would hide itself under the name-tag of ‘refined.’  I was a pretty hardcore Vegan for quite sometime (more on the vegetarian side these days, although I eat very(yyy) little dairy because of lactose intolerance), but that never restricted me from eating bread. Which, is where the story begins.


In the past year or so, every single time I ate gluten I would feel HORRIBLE. No energy, super tired, and not to mention bloating. I would quite honestly feel gross. However, the interesting part is that it only would occur with SOME of the gluten products I would consume. Last Fall, I read a Piece in ‘Natural Health’ magazine about a guy out in California who sells his bread every week and still insists on producing it the old-timey way. Apparently even people who severely suffered from Celiac disease could still eat his bread and feel perfectly fine. Still had gluten, but it was super fermented because it was Sourdough-which apparently drastically changed the bread from the kind that, say, you see on the shelves/freezer at your local grocery store. What does that mean, you ask? Well, what I’ve concluded is that his bread was something we would see in places perhaps, like Europe (because most parts of Europe are still very traditional when it comes to food production, unlike the good ole’ US of A), or in the old days, when Wheat was NOT hybridized into something our bodies pretty much doesn’t recognize anymore.

Well, what happens when all of the sudden wheat becomes ‘the bad guy’? You guessed it, a whole lotta’ money makin’ on the still pretty new ‘Gluten-Free’ fad.

Here’s the thing, most of the problem lies in the today’s production of most grains and wheat. Most of our wheat in the US has been modified into fast-producing plants, for quicker production, and more $$$. Not to mention, most of today’s grains host sodium azide which is a known toxin to our bodies. Also, another by-product of completely modifying wheat/grains in the past 50 years has been the type of proteins the plants now produce. In which, you’ll be delighted to hear scientists have concluded many of us cannot digest these proteins properly. Hence, the era of Gluten-intolerance. Awesome, right? The funny thing is, where do we hear about this stuff in mass media?


Well, I can attest to the fact my body is definitely not a fan of most Gluten anymore (and most likely, yours too), however, my point here is don’t become completely bummed if you are in my position. I will say, a lot of tried-and-true smaller guys (i.e…bakers/farmers) out there in the US insist on trying to be honest in giving consumers quality, not quantity. It’s a long shot that their bread will be completely untainted by hybridized wheat- although it’s worth a try if you love bread as much as moi and hope to still support your local bakers and farmers. Doesn’t it suck to know that $$$ is becoming more and more important to the US, than our health? I mean, even after all the evidence? (Sigh…)


{Paris, 1945. Basically me. See you soon, Paris.}

Think you might be Gluten-intolerant, dear? Here are 10 signs you may be, indeed;

^ Continuous digestive issues; fun things like, gas, bloating, etc.

^ Keratosis Pilaris, (aka ‘chicken skin’ on the back of your arms, yum.) which is basically both a  fatty acid deficiency and Vitamin A deficiency secondary to fat-malabsorbtion caused by gluten damaging your gut.

^ Fatigue after a meal, heaviness, fogginess. Check to see if you consumed gluten; Anything that contains wheat, barley, or rye.


^ Neurologic symptoms like dizziness, or feeling off-balance.


^ Severe PMS, PCOS, or problems with fertility.

^ Migraines.

^ Inflammation, pain, swelling in joints.

^ Anxiety, depression, mood swings, ADD.

Best way to decide if you are truly intolerant, try what I did, and simply remove it from your diet for 2-3 weeks, at least, to see if your body responds more positively than before. Hope this helps. xoxo.