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Black man in a hoodie - what do you see?

© Doyin Richards

The Reality Of Race In America

Who's Behind The Hoodie? A Heartfelt Look At The Reality Of Race In America

There's a story behind this photo.

Many people who know me well will identify me as the guy who's quick to flash a dimpled smile, crack a joke, and be a relatively positive and lighthearted person. That's the guy I believe I am, too. 

But beyond the smiles, children's books, fatherhood advocacy, television appearances, and commercials, I'm still a black man. The reality is that no matter how much good I do in the mainstream and public eye, I'm viewed as a threat to many just because of the color of my skin. 

That's not up for debate. It's a damn fact. And the threat looks like a hooded man, dressed in black, armed with a cold look on his face. 

But the question is a simple one: Would you want to get to know the guy in the photo or would you be scared of him? 

Chances are you'll respond by saying you would be scared of any man dressed like this regardless of his skin color. Cool. I'll give you that. The difference is that even when I'm not dressed this way, this is how I'm perceived by some — as a threat. There's no amount of preppy clothes or smiles that will change that. 

Here's some breaking, err, broken news: America has an ignorance problem — and people hate what they don't understand. 

People hate blacks for being criminals and thugs. People hate whites for being blinded by their innate privilege. People hate Muslims/Islam for being hellbent on destroying America through terrorism. People hate Mexicans for coming to America illegally. People hate cops for being lawless vigilantes. People hate transgender citizens for blurring the lines in public restrooms. 

Again and louder for the people in the back: People hate what they don't understand. 

So it continues.

Black men are being killed by police. Police officers were murdered in Dallas. It's bad out there and people are losing hope and pointing fingers. Not only is it a bad look, but it's setting a horrible precedent when we find ourselves becoming numb to death and violence. 

RELATED: Police Brutality, Public Outrage And The Debate On Social Media

What can we do? We have to get rid of the ignorance by understanding each other. Instead of staying in our comfort zones, we need to meet and hang out with people who are different (or at least those we perceive as being different). In doing so, we'll learn that we're actually more similar than we thought. No, that doesn't mean walking around pretending to be colorblind. We know that just makes it harder to identify inequality when it happens. Instead, we should be like, "Hey, he may look different from me and have different experiences, but once I got to know him, I realized we have a lot in common." 

The problem is many of us are refusing to do that. We just pick teams like we're on a playground at an elementary school, stick close to our "teammates" who look and act just like us, while ignoring the experiences of other teams. It just isn't helping. 

So for the foreseeable future, I'm going to use this photo as a reminder to look deeper than the surface-level differences. There are people who don't know me who will look at that photo and be scared, and I understand that. But I hope those people also understand how scary it is to be a black man when oftentimes this is how I'm perceived (the intimidating guy in a hoodie). But if you take the time to look past all of that you'll find a proud dad of two daughters, a happy guy who will be the most loyal friend you've ever had, and a dude who can make a bomb-ass margarita. Chances are people are missing out on great new friends due to their own fears and ignorance.  

But are you willing to step up and be the change our country so desperately needs? I hope so. America is hurting and we need as many good people as possible to help. 

Doyin Richards is a blogger, author, husband, and daddy committed to creating a world of more good, involved dads. He writes on his own blog, Daddy Doin' Work, TODAY Parents, Huffington Post and the Good Men Project, and has a book titled Daddy Doin' Work: Empowering Mothers To Evolve Fatherhood (Jolly Fish Press, 2014). You can follow him on Twitter at @daddydoinwork

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