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Balance Remote Living with a Social Life

| 10/15/2019 9:56:00 AM


Reasons vary why people choose to live remotely but a common thread is they want to feel less crowded and infringed upon by people, regulations and noise/visual pollution. They want to be live more self-sufficiently and allowed to enjoy their privacy. To be away from slamming car doors, noise pollution, sirens and lawn mowers noisy neighbors and such. If you live remotely, where then do you go for neighbors and friends?

Not Dependent On Others? Living remotely and being semi or totally isolated from people works for a while but sooner or later those who separate themselves still need human interaction. Some self isolate because they want to be more independent but sooner or later everyone needs others in one way or another. If you truly live remotely human contact is more spread out and scarce. Sometimes it takes effort to connect with others in remote living situations.

Choosing friends. We have always trust people even though some just wanted nothing more than to learn enough about us to gossip, whisper or make up stories. Some just wanted to use us or take advantage of us. We quickly learned that friendliness was not the same as friendship. I don’t believe this is uncharacteristic or unique and is human behavior that permeates most communities.  

Coping with gossip mills. We therefore watch those who come across as exceptionally friendly more closely and scrutinized their behavior over time. If they gossiped about others to us they most likely were doing the same about us. Discerning who can be a good friend or who just wants to use us can be very difficult. As a child I remember my mom being part of a ladies group that met regularly and sometimes at our house. They used to work on projects, play games and just talk  but I never once heard them gossip. They helped each other when needs arose and I think that is the way life should be.

What constitutes a friend. I recall studying Aristotle in school and his observations on friends has remained with me over the years. It was Aristotle’s position that friendship fell into three areas. One, friends of pleasure - as long as people were pleasurable to each other the friendship lasted. Two, friends of utility - friendship based on what they can do for each other. Three, friendship of mutual admiration - friends who truly admire each other and seek the best for each other. Those who just like being around each other, flaws and all. Of those three types of friends only the third is a lasting and truly rewarding friendship.

10/19/2019 4:40:40 PM

Nice perspective. If you're lucky with a gentle correction, folks will understand that gossip & such behavior is undesirable in your circle. Sometimes they need a good role model if it's all they know. Other people may not. Glad you all are good role models. Thanks for sharing.


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