Disclaimer: This website, in its entirety, requires your willing suspension of disbelief.

Finer Facts

Finer Facts:

Friday, April 2, 2010

The Raising of a Single Brow, Part 1

Accompanied by a slight, but smooth, upward bob of the head to the left, the raising of a single brow can be one of the most, if not the most, classy gestures one can make. The fullness of this gesticulation can be achieved even more so by making strong eye contact with whomever you seem to be speaking to, but staring off into the distance, or over their shoulder works too. A lucky few were born with natural talent in the art of monobrow elevation, as for the rest of you all... well... Lets just say, that's what we're here for.

Those seeking to achieve classiness through the correct gesticulation of the raising of a single brow may be asking themselves "When is the proper time to use the raising of a single brow?", "What are the signals that can be given off by the raising of a single brow?", and "What is the origin of the raising of a single brow and how was it introduced modern day?". Your questions will be answered all in good time.

This is an example of a lighter, more easy going raising of a single brow. As shown above, one may also prefer to include a smirk of the lip, side opposite to the raised brow, if he chooses to do so.

1. The proper time to use the raising of a single brow.

This is a fine question. Though the answer I am tempted to leave you with is "If you are truly classy, you will know when the time is right". But, I would feel like I was letting you down. So I will try my best to adequately express through my knowledge of class, the proper time to use the elevation of a solo brow with a couple points. After thorough examination of my knowledge, I have come to a conclusion:
A. When speaking to someone / When being spoken to by someone
B. When seducing women
C. When in dire need of a classiness boost
D. When in not so dire need of a classiness boost
E. When leaving an immortal impression of yourself on this planet moments before dying
F. When yachting
G. When purchasing an extravagant beach side villa
H. When about to purchase a previously uncharted island in the Caribbean
I. At all times whilst wearing a sweater vest
J. When bird watching

2. The possible signals that can be given off by the use of the raising of a single brow.

-I am intrigued
-I am classy
-I am acting slightly surprised, though I am actually not
-I am acting as if I am somewhat perplexed
-I am listening
-I am slightly amused
-I am thinking
-I am about to say something of extreme classiness
-I am standing on the edge of a cliff protruding out unto the sea with my front leg raised somewhat higher than the other, at sunset, and was in need of an extremely classy pose while observing nature at it finest
-I am exercising my right to remain silent, though there is no pressing, or legal, need to
-I am about to mount my polo horse
-I have just proven myself victorious in a fencing contest
-I am too classy to show outward excitement
-I am impressed, yet do not allow you the satisfaction of any outward sign of this
-I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal.
-People know me.
-I'm fairly important.
-I have many leather-bound books
-My apartment smells of rich mahogany
-I am on the brink of curing an incurable disease
-My butler will assist you shortly

3. The origin of raising of an individual brow and how it came about modern day.

Though the origin is officially unknown, it is rumored to have been discovered by the Germans in 1904. There is no official name for it, scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.

Modern day, the raising of a single brow has increased in popularity, but, because of the difficulty of the gesticulation and the expectations that come along with being classy, is not widely preformed. The influx of popularity can be accredited mostly to Ron Burgundy, James Bond, The Most Interesting Man in the World, and the Class Connoisseurs(whose guide has influenced at least 40+ people.)

Stay Classy,

William and Walter

W & W
"Double u & Double u"
"Quadruple u"