Tag Archives: fauberge

go ahead, everything will be explained

16 Feb

Well, today was pretty alright, as much as a disjointed Tuesday can be alright. Bluhh. Still not at 100% after being up ’till three AM last night due to womanly complications. It sucks to be a lady.
I also hit my head on sturdy blunt objects three times today, one of which was right after Yoga and I just barely stifled a “FUCK!” because it really hurt, dammit!
Then Lillian (as per her nature) randomly decided that I deserved to be smacked twice in the face and then pushed onto my ass.
Okay, today kinda sucked on the bodily-well-being front. I am going to have a big honkin’ forehead bruise.

Still have about three million midnight drabbles I haven’t written up yet, I need to get around to that pretty soon. Maybe this weekend I’ll do a MONDO-POST of chronologically-arranged drabbles.

Meaningful stuff has rapidly disappeared, I am now thinking in only loops of thought, so


16 Jan

Third day of my White Denim listening marathon. I am surprisingly coping pretty well with the sheer amount of crazy energy this music has. Gah tomorrow I’m listening to Sufjan.

Anyway, I’ve been trying to write songs all through christmas break, but I am not very good at it so I usually end up with about half a stanza and some scribbles.
Here’s some of the better ones:
“Well, the neverending condescending advancesof your throne/are throwning butterfingered passes that dance and shatter through my bones/ I’ll whime away the moonlight clear/come stop & stay a moment-oh my dear!”
“clock towers on an elevation ‘high'”
“go, taste the moonlight/drink like a unicorn/deep drafts of light down your downy throat”

I also rewrote some of the lyrics to Steam Engine because I never could remember them (and still can’t):
” take your money, don’t look back (x3)
and to anyone who wonders/bout that old familar breeze/it’s twilight in the garden/over red Ponoka seas/we’re peekin’ out through darkness/ the bullet hits our knees/ your skin looks good in moonlight/please stay a while with me…”
For some reason, that song seems to fill all the gaps in my heart where the pieces didn’t quite fit together. I love that song. It is very capable of making me bawl (I am a wimp, I know).
On the topic of broken hearts, however, I am doing alright with regards to Fauberge and Shuggie. I am actually a little thankful. It was a necessary pain, and now that it’s happened I actually feel like myself again. I am so glad for them.
The only thing that’s weird about it is the third-wheel feeling I get whenever I’m around them, like I’m intruding on their world of two (kudos for anyone who gets that reference). I am a stubborn thing, though, and so weird feelings be damned, I am going to talk to my Fauberge. Which I have done, thank you very much.
Well, it’s nice to feel pretty peaceful about these things. I may be taking a step forward in the accquisition of a “Shuggie” of my own. Who knows? Only time will tell, and I am not one to rush these things (at least not anymore).


I keep remembering that it’s a three day weekend, and every time I do my heart kind of does a little handstand in my chest. SWEEEEEET
Probably going to make some more little bobbypin twig things today. We’ll see how it goes. And I’m going to ask my dad about hosting a little movie night tomorrow, we’ll see how that goes as well.

reeling beneath my skin

7 Jan

now i’m crying.

Fu- no, no; this is not the right time for that, this is a time for the tears to flow, for my heart to try to heal itself.

Why am I so affected?

Why do I want to leave this place?

Why do I want someone to encase me in a warm hug?

Well, hell if I know, but i am a gibbering mess right now and would love to vanish, maybe, into the clouds above and rematerialize somewhere where I can cry out all my tears and fix this torn heart of mine.
Hove, Faschen- where are you when I need you?

And not even the relentless joy of Steam Engine can help me now.