Monday, November 16, 2015

Fear Mongering

Stop following the rhetoric of the fear mongers. Fear is exactly how people become controlled. Intimidation by a bully. Our current condition of the world is not a border problem, this is a bully problem. Sitting behind a microphone on a TV or radio talk show spouting fear and hatred toward a person or group of people isn't the way to alignment and peace.

Any time we don't know about something, we fear its existence, we blame that for our situation in life. We make that the reason for all our problems. I have watched posts that have woven the Paris attacks in the continuous degrading and belittling of President Obama in to the mix of reasons for blaming him for all the ills in the world and our personal lives. Statement of finding hate and killing message in the Qumran. How many statements of violence exist in the Bible? (see Violence In the Bible NPR)

Which each attack on any portion of humanity, we become more and more fearful of what we don't know.  I suggest we stop being lead around by the loudest voice and investigate the source of the fear and the agenda behind it.  Why is it is so important for us to find fault in others? How does this help me to grow as human being with a heart and mind of my own. When I follow for the sake of following I have no idea where I might be lead to.  When I choose my own path, my journey, seek my own knowledge I find a greater understanding and a desire to do no harm.

When I  am look inward I question the fears and explore the basis of my own belief system. What is the truth I find?  I find I choose not to live in fear, I choose not to hate, I choose not to blame others for my life condition. I do choose love, I do choose peace, I do choose responsibility for myself and I do choose not to allow others to determine how I feel about the world and the people in it. Namaste.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Paris November 13, 2015

As all were busy living their lives, attend quiet dinners, evenings with family or attending a rock concert, unknown forces chose to bomb, shoot and kill these unsuspecting souls. The survivors and us are left with disbelief, grief and no understanding of what happened.

As a follower of Unity and the principles with which we are taught to live by, this is unfathomable in comprehension. I was even advised by one good intentioned friend, to not be naive and know "they" are heading our way. In my Unity belief it is said "Thoughts held in mind produce like kind", so for me I shall not use or say words like get even, this is awful though at the moment it feels this way.  I choose however to shine the Light of Love as brightly as possible. To share healing words to comfort those hurting. To ease the devastating feelings one feels from the trigger event which will arise from this news.

I pray each and everyone who chooses to voice an opinion will do so with words of grace and kindness knowing it isn't an acceptance of the actions which caused such damage, but for the grace and healing power the words deliver to those in need of them.  I cannot deny that even within myself I desire justice for the wrong done.  I have to however question what exactly is justice. Does that mean an eye for an eye, a wound for a wound, a hurt for a hurt?  I think not. From my own journey to the here and now, I have found for myself, these thoughts and these feelings of justification for retaliation only create more hurt and do not heal, but rather promote only more of the same. If I want to heal the wound I cannot do so by causing more injury.  When I cut myself cooking, I do not cut it farther to make the wound better. No indeed, I tend to the wound, protect the wound and figure out how can I avoid this in the future.

I know there will be many who say this analogy is far too simple, but is it?  Where exactly do we find the answer if not in simplest of solutions?  I ask you think about the feeling you experience when someone takes the simple action of holding your hand and standing in silence.  May we today, tomorrow and forever after reach out to take the hand of a stranger without fear or expectation, rather to demonstrate our willingness to assist in the transformation from misunderstanding, fear and hate to a better understanding in the fearlessness of love and acceptance.


Thursday, November 12, 2015

Middle School Child Dead From Heroine Over Dose

Update: (They had been friends since middle school. The facts still remain the same)
Today I read on a family member's social media page a classmate of her middle school child died from a heroine overdose. Yes middle school.  Addiction is an equal opportunity disease, knowing no boundary in age, gender, social status or nationality or family.

As a licensed addictions counselor, I have seen many people in a place so dark one might ask themselves "how did they choose this"? The answer is they didn't choose it.

From the outside looking in it might appear one is choosing, however no one wakes up one morning and says to themselves, "today I am going to be an addict". It starts out as simply and as easily as one drink or use to ease the pain of the loss of a loved one, the need to fit in, the ability to talk to a stranger to somehow feel "normal", and comes in many forms from gambling to eating disorder. In the beginning there seems to be this acceptable reason why one time won't hurt. I get the rush, relief or what ever it is I am seeking at the time and my brain is given a signal "oh this helped, felt good, relieved the pain if only for the moment". The more I give "reason" to the use, the more I use, the more I use the more I have to use to get the effect I got in the beginning. The mind is altered (lots of evidence in this area). If stopping was easy more people would do it.

In sixteen years of doing this work, I have witnessed so many who try and relapse. Family and friends help them in the beginning and after a time of stopping and using again, family and friends decide there is no use in helping and withdraw from the addicted person seeing them and the situation as hopeless, if they really cared about themselves or me they would stop". When the addict needs support the most,it is gone.

As a family member or friend we don't do this because we don't love the addict, rather we love them immensely and it is too difficult to watch a loved one be sucked into the vortex of darkness and use. Hate the disease but love the addict. Support doesn't mean ignoring the use, it means directing the addict to help. it means not judging. it means not "rescuing" them from themselves, When we rescue and remove consequence we enable the use. Refrain from pointing a finger and trying to lay blame.

Continue to be supportive, by providing help like taking them to support group meetings such as AA or NA and staying for open meetings with them, offer to drive them to a counselor. Learning about how the addiction starts and how it pulls its victims in so deeply. Most importantly love them and let them know you will always love them and support their recovery, but cannot participate in their denial or continued use.

Additionally seek support for yourself. Attend an Al-Anon meeting. Learn the signs of addiction and seek reliable help.