Complimentary Cards


College student Zachary Brown has a problem. Every time he walks up to a random stranger and tells them that they’re so attractive that just seeing them has improved his day, they treat him like this was a weird thing to do!

So, to make these social interactions go more smoothly he’s decided to have a set of business cards printed so that when he sees a particularly attractive stranger he can hand them a card to tell them how attractive they are without having to speak to them.

Obviously, I can’t find any flaws in this plan, but I do wonder if he realizes that anyone can just walk into a Kinkos and pick up a box of business cards for ten bucks.

  • Jamoche

    He also has a capitalization problem. It’s like nails down a chalkboard just to look at it.

    • KickFailure

      Yes he also has that problem.

      Perhaps he never learned what a sentence is, so he just assumes he needs a new capital letter on every line.

      • Jamoche

        I spend more time in code editors than word processors, but I used one once that would capitalize after every hard return. Pretty annoying when I was trying to write up a software project and provide pseudo-code.

  • KickFailure

    I just had a thought. Perhaps it’s some terrible free-verse poetry. It’s acceptable to capitalize newlines in poetry.