Richard Nicholls
Richard Nicholls
Richard Nicholls
The Richard Nicholls Podcast


Accept Yourself

Episode 177: Accept Yourself

Despite New Year being a time associated with making changes, today I want to talk about what seems at first like the opposite of change.
Although it might still be a change, and might even be the best one you could ever make. Because there are surprising benefits that come from accepting yourself as you are, in making the decision to not changing and instead enjoying being you in the first place.
The Lost Letter

The Lost Letter - By Richard Nicholls

It had been 6 weeks since the funeral.
Long enough to get used to the idea that he was an orphan now. Dan had laughed a little when he first used that word, orphan.
How old do we have to be before we no longer describe ourselves as that? He thought to himself. But to him, Dan was an orphan. After all both his parents had died, first his Dad, although that was many years ago and now his Mum.
But, at 57 years old to describe yourself as an orphan seemed odd, hence…
Are New Years Resolutions a good idea or not?

Grandads Gift

I didn't believe him at first, I looked at him on the playground through squinted, suspicious eyes.
"There's no such thing as Santa Claus!" he'd said and laughed at me. Of course, if he was right then I'd been lied to through all of the 9 years of my life.
But I was a clever boy, and I could understand why, if it was true that there was no such thing as Father Christmas, all parents would collude with each other to create this magical present bringing character.
But I didn't want to hear it from the biggest idiot in the class on the last day of term…
What's the meaning of life?

Episode 176: The Meaning Of Life

Apart from 42, is there actually an answer to "What is the meaning of life?"
In attempting to answer that it often brings up further questions such as "What's my purpose?"
And it's worth separating purpose from meaning. After all, we can have a meaningful life without having any particular purpose can't we? Living a meaningful life can become the purpose.

Attachment And The Greater Good

Part 3 of my attachment theory series.
Today's episode helps explain why I think that understanding attachment insecurities is so important for not just our own mental health but for the greater good.

Attachment Styles

Part 2 of my introduction to attachment theory. Hopefully today will give you a little bit of insight into your own attachment style and believe me when I say you'll probably never look at your friends and family the same.
Anxiety Of The Unknown

Episode 175: Anxiety Of The Unknown

Over the last couple of years I've had a few messages from listeners about their fear of an uncertain future, and it's cropped up in the consulting room quite a lot too.
One thing that has been a big cause of it has been Brexit. Not knowing whether something about your future is going to be easier, more difficult, or exactly the same isn't helpful.
We like routines, our brain loves the idea that tomorrow is going to be the same as yesterday. If we're alive today then yesterday must have been safe and so our instincts want tomorrow to be the same. And life just isn't like that.

Origins Of Attachment Theory

Attachment theory is all about our instinctive need to feel secure through our attachments to things, and despite being a MASSIVE topic I thought I'd spend some time going through the basics with you. It's probably going to be quite a few episodes though I hardly scratched the surface with this one today and it's over 20 minutes long already. So I'll come back to it in next week I think too.
It's The Thought That Counts

Episode 174: Suicide Prevention

Over three quarters of a million people each year take their own life. That's one every 40 seconds.
It's one of the biggest causes of death in people under 30 and by not talking about it people can't gain the knowledge needed to help prevent it. But it is preventable!
It's The Thought That Counts

Episode 173: Fears & Phobias

One question that I get asked quite often is "What's the difference between a fear and a phobia?"
In short, a fear of something is fairly rational, even if we might think that there's no need for us to fear it, the fear still makes some sense. If someone has a fear of public speaking that makes sense, although what they're probably fearing is rejection from their peers but it still makes sense.
Whereas a phobia is...
It's The Thought That Counts

Episode 172: External Validation

Ever heard of The looking-glass self?
The looking-glass self is a concept created by sociologist Charles Horton Cooley back in 1902. It states that rather than a person's sense of self growing out of their own internal perceptions it instead grows out of the interactions with and the perceptions of other people.
In a nutshell it can be summed up with the following phrase “I am not what I think I am and I am not what you think I am; I am what I think that you think I am.”

Episode 171: Nudge Nudge

Nudging and avoiding a nudge is quite important. If you've never heard that phrase outside of a Monty Python sketch you will do now. Because to nudge, in psychology, means to subtly influence someones behaviour, often without them being aware of it, by altering the environment slightly and is surprisingly successful.

Episode 170: Introversion

Introversion has been on my mind a lot lately as I've had quite a few clients who are introverts but don't fully understand it and think that there's something wrong with them.
So today I want to go into a bit of detail about introversion to help you understand yourself better if you are one, and help you to understand others better if you're not.
Bobby Temps Interview

Bobby Temps Interview

This week is Mental Health Awareness Week and because of that I have an extra episode this month for you!
I met up with Bobby Temps today of The Mental Podcast to talk about what we can all do to begin the process of destigmatising mental health.
He's a great guy, have a listen.
It's The Thought That Counts

Episode 169: It's The Thought That Counts

I've been thinking about this topic for a long time and I've been a bit wary of talking about it because what I mean by "it's the thought that counts" is that it's our own thinking that counts towards whether an experience is a good one a bad one or simply just is. And with some really quite extreme situations too. But I don't want it to come across as if it's our own fault if we feel bad because something happened to us. It belittles someones experiences to say "Oh you're traumatised are you? Try thinking differently about it!" Because that's not quite how the brain works.
Dealing With Crazy Thoughts

Episode 168: Dealing With Crazy Thoughts

Regularly clients will tell me that they've had frightening bizarre thoughts, sometimes about hurting, or even killing, someone that they care about.

Odd as it may seem this is something that everyone experiences, but it doesn't really get talked about for fear of other people thinking we're strange or even dangerous.
So I want to put your mind at rest that if you have thoughts like this, you need to remember that they're just thoughts, they're not reality.
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