A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Friday, June 26, 2015

Autistic Isn't Bad

Julia is struggling with "AUTISTIC". She understand that Autistic means the twins don't talk. But tonight she told me that she's a good girl, she talks so she's not autistic.

I stopped her there and told her that autistic doesn't mean bad.

"But they scream all the time mom, that's not being good."

Well, sometimes that's spot on, sometimes they are misbehaving. I can't speak for your autistic kids but sometimes mine are STRAIGHT UP MISBEHAVING and screaming is part of it. Sometimes though, sometimes that's something that they're lost in, or caught in, and while I won't say they can't help it - it's something they struggle with.
I kept it simple and told her that they can't help it, but that we love them and they aren't bad boys.
She says she understands.
She and Lou have such an abnormal life, this life with two little boys who have so many challenges. It makes me feel bad for all that they don't get to have (we can't get the Charlie will eat it) or do (we can't go there because of the twins sorry guys) and all the ways that their life isn't "normal". I also know that it makes them strong, and it makes them better people. I believe my mother's credo "LIFE ISN'T FAIR" as one of the only truisms in this universe.

So they're learning it, not just hearing about it.

We work really hard to bring normal days into this life, but it's never completely normal. Or typical. Or whatever word makes you feel better about the fact that I said normal. It's really just semantics.

But pretty pictures of flowers make everything better.

That's apparently an opium poppy by the way. Anyone else question if these are a good idea to leave around?