lube problem - any ideas?

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We've been going along quite well using lube. I was using MCT oil, but it irritated my penis. Then we moved to butter but I think my penis developed some irritation that is still going on and we can't use any lube at all that is oil-based.

I'm getting aloe vera gel today and will try that.

Any ideas are welcomed!



Alternative Approach

emerson, are you doing all you ought to on the good eating/exercise/sleep/stress reduction side of your life? A strong body reduces or even eliminates allergic reactions, in my experience. Just food for thought.

I now eat largely in the 80/10/10 Diet mode: e.g., six bananas, two oranges, and an apple for breakfast; a huge multicolored salad for lunch; and bean chili for dinner (my diversion from 80/10/10). I feel better than ever and am stronger than at anytime since age 18. For Karezza, we use grapeseed oil, and neither my wife nor I suffer irritation from it in our 5 1/2 years of use.

May glycerine or aloe vera work for you!

All oils are out

My penis is badly affected by the oils and hopefully things will return to normal.

Tried glycerin. It kind of burns my wife a little. I realize that it needs water added to it, so I’ll add a little.

Also will be experimenting with her taking a bit of vaginal DHEA, vitamin E and vitamin A with progesterone as that is supposed to be helpful.

Thank you for all your ideas and sharing your thoughts.

Rubbing D3

in vagina (it comes in little capsules) works for a friend of mine's vaginal pain. Doesn't sound like your wife's issue, but I mention it anyway, as someone else might find it useful. I can find the full description of her experience if anyone wants it. (PM is fine)

what seems to work...

buy glycerin. Mix with water, and apply to the penis. Still playing with the ratios. Glycerin by itself sucks water out of the vaginal lining and isn't good. With water, it's fine. Too much water and it isn't lubricating enough. But it isn't really that tricky and I mix and apply before intercourse.

Thank you for that suggestion @Aphrodites Chela.

The coconut oil or butter or MCT oil was fine until it wasn't. I really have kind of messed up my penis from it. Lost some sensitivity and I'm still trying to figure out how to heal there. I never expected that.

I had a similar experience

I had a similar experience where coconut and almond oils used to work, but then they became super irritating. KY jelly (the plain vanilla kind) has been comfortable for me.

I'm glad you are on the road to healing! My hippie side says: be careful how you talk about yourself! It's such a wonderful body part... it doesnt deserve to be told it's "messed up" and you're "working on it"...

I bet you can amplify the healing process with nurturing, affirming words and thoughts.

emerson, are you circumsized?

emerson, are you circumsized? I am, and had no idea that foreskin protected a mucosal layer on intact males. Maybe a long-term solution for lubrication is for ‘cut’ males is to regrow their foreskin. I think I am going to give it a try.

“...As the foreskin grows and begins to cover the glans, the glans and inner foreskin remnant start to return to their original mucosal state. That is, the glans and inner foreskin dekeratinize and take on the characteristics of the mucous membranes that they are...”

I learned of regrowing foreskin from this article:

Anybody here have experience with this?

I did this for a while a

I did this for a while a couple years ago, but kind of stopped doing it. I have been meaning to start it up again. It seems to work, but progress is slow, However, you only need to stretch it for a few min every day, so it's not a huge commitment.

I actually found out recently that circumcision was originally just a slit cut on the top of the foreskin, probably to prevent phimosis. But the Romans made the Jews change it to a more drastic cut bc they were able to stretch it and hide the fact they were Jews. And then, it somehow evolved into the practice today of not just cutting the skin, but also the frenulum

cade-, I have been 'tugging'

cade-, I have been 'tugging' with a device daily for just under six months now. Yes, progress is slow. But, I have grown just under one inch of foreskin, now. I think I probably need to grow three inches to give me full, reliable coverage of my glans (the cone shaped head of the penis) at rest.

The fascinating, and entirely unexpected, benefit of foreskin restoration is a bit of an increase in size, both length and girth. I read that scar tissue from circumcision can cause tightness and restriction. For me, loosening the skin on my shaft via tugging has allowed for fuller increases during erections, and at rest, too.

My growing foreskin is already serving one of its functions: it is preventing my glans from acting as a squeegee and pulling out natural and applied lubricants (I use grapeseed oil) during intercourse. The retracted foreskin serves as a plug, and intercourse with my wife is wetter, now.

I tug solely at night, during sleep, using this device (warning: there are nude male photos here):

To restore the softness, lubricating function, and sensitivity of my glans (which I would not get until I reached foll coverage at rest), I use a big toe silicone cover, which I wear during the day.

May your restoration efforts go well, cade-!

An odd thing about

An odd thing about circumcision: it can result in hair growing on the shaft of the penis. I paid no close attention to my equipment until I began tugging. I then found that my tugger would not work -- it would break suction -- with hair on the shaft of my penis. So, I began shaving the shaft of my penis (near the base) and the front of my sac. I think that has reduced irritation during intercourse, as my wife has not commented on irritation for some months now.

Thanks for reminding me, I

Thanks for reminding me, I got back to tugging by hand and I decided to focus on what's left of the ridged band, it will be slower at first, but my thought was I can't restore the frenulum, but maybe can get back some ridged band, so I focus on stretching what's left of that. Think about it, the ridged band is about 4 square inch or so of very sensitive skin and cutting it off crams all those nerve endings into just a small area of whats left

It appears to be working, I have a bit more corrugated skin and now just having my foreskin touched gives an amazing sensation. I don't even have enough to cover the glans yet; but that's something to look forward to also.

Amazing how much sensation you get back you didn't know you had; last time I was receiving the oral I had to tell her to stop; it was so intense it was uncomfortable

How long since you used porn?

(Don't answer unless you want to.) I'm just curious because I think sensitivity also returns to the reward circuitry of the brain as you cut back on supernormal stimulation. Hard to separate the two phenomena perhaps.

Not long ago, it's been a

Sadly, not long ago, it's been a couple weeks, sometimes I just get lonely, I've never had a relationship that really lasted, and so I haven't had any significant other.

But, at least I can say it's an only occasional slipup, I don't do it everyday like I used to.

However, my experience of my own progress over the past few years tells me that, yes, more sensation comes back after cutting porn use but foreskin restoral also brings more

Makes sense

Thanks for the info. It's a crazy world out there as far as finding a trustworthy, affectionate mate goes. However, it might be better to stick to fantasy rather than artificial stimulation. Screen-based novelty can be highly compelling, and can't be duplicated by real partners. In other words, train for the sport you want to play.

But you prolly know all this by now. Biggrin

Hope 2020 is a better year for finding a mate!

Great to Hear!

Great to hear that you are seeing foreskin growth and a return of sensation. I am very happy for you, cade-.

May your restoration and finding-a-steady-mate efforts in 2020 go well!

Yes I am unfortunately

But I probably won’t go to a any  “Lengths” to regrow the snipped foreskin.

Probably a good idea though.

I’m sticking with water+glycerin and figuring out how to heal.


Greetings Emerson! Can

Greetings Emerson! Can certainly commiserate on this topic as wife has always had a sensitive "kitty" so anything that upsets the natural conditions in the vagina can trigger yeast infections. Have to avoid anything with glycerin, paraben, silicone, anything aggressively hydroscopic ( absorbs water), or anything that changes the PH balance. Even ejaculating inside her would reduce her natural acidity enough to often trigger yeast infections(hows that for a Karezza incentive?).

We spent years trying to find the perfect lube and have settled on pure unscented Aloe as our primary go to. We did successfully use Wet Naturals glycerin free paraben free formula for some years but they must have changed something in the ingredients because that sets her off now. Aloe Cadabra is a commercial brand that has an unscented Aloe product that works well for us that we know has no extra surprise ingredients. Very tempted to buy generic Aloe in bulk to save $$$ but have not found source with documented purity. Good luck!

Here is closure to my saga of the lube


We tried glycerin by my wife found it irritating after a month.

My penis finally healed. With a combination of treatments, not easy.

So now we are helping along with a concoction I made with progesterone, D3, vitamin A, she puts it in her vagina to help her lubrication hopefully.

And I am back to using a small amount of olive oil on my penis. I find the key is wiping and drying after intercourse. That seems to be fine and no problems at all.

I got penis problems

Abrasion or ulcerations, quite superficial, but they hurt. 

It was kind of awful but I just had faith that I’d fix it. Took about a year.

I’ve read of men who have had similar problems for decades. The doctors prescribe cortisone cream, which I wouldn’t have used, so I didn’t bother going to a doctor about it.

The solution after healing is to carefully wipe my penis dry after intercourse, and use as little oil as needed.