and entering

Hey It’s Been A While But Can I Sleep On Your Floor?

text message
It's me, your slightly more high-achieving high school classmate, groveling for a few square feet of floor space
by Elliot Wong '21
Charlie, it's been a while! I just wanted to see if you had it in your heart to let an old high school classmate crash on your floor this weekend? I know we weren't on the best of terms in high school, because I was the student body president and you were the student body vice president, and because I got into Harvard early and you did not. But it's time we put that behind us because I really need somewhere to sleep this weekend. New Haven is a dangerous place, and my chances of getting brutally stabbed with a rusty knife are marginally lower if I stay with you. I promise I won't take up much space on your floor, like how you didn't take up much space in my mind until I realized I needed something from you. 
I hope things are going well for you! The last time I saw you was at Toad's two years ago, but you were making out with a guy and I didn't want to interrupt. You two still in touch? I also saw your mom at Whole Foods in the beginning of last summer! She was saying something about a "Charles", "this summer", "reject", "Morgan Stanley", "moving to Alphabet City", "one-man play"? I might have missed something. It was hard to make out what she was saying because she was crying a little bit, and also because I was in a rush (on my way to the airport to fly out for my Evercore internship!). Dude, I hope she's okay. Give Molly my best! 

Anyway, let me know if it's possible for me to stay with you this weekend! It'll just be like old times, like how we used to room together for Model UN conferences, only this time I promise I won't sexile you to have a threesome with Russia and Ukraine. And even if I do end up having sex on your floor I swear I'll be really quiet, the same way you were when we opened our Harvard decision portals at the same time and you were rejected. On second thought, do you have room for 3 or 4 more? 
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