Tuesday, July 31, 2007



















"Sure, fine." Superhero exits.




Bourbon snaps her head around. "What?!?"





(pauses for a bit, laughs to herself)

The end.

He turned out to, eventually, be a great server.


There you go- the bloody band-aid story.

All true, unfortunately. All true.


T said...

Flies, no problem. Hairs—I'll shrug & pull 'em off.

Bloody band-aids ... yeesh! Kudos to you for not giving Derwin the boot right then and there.

Brillig said...

EWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Oh, yikes. Yeah, I couldn't do bloody band-aid. And I probably wouldn't have been a very nice patron...

And that BourbonMaggie sounds fantastic!

Stacey said...

Uggh gag, Bourbon Maggie.

Oops I mean Whiskey Marie.

You should have played innocent and said the the customer "It's a new recipe we're trying out. What you don't like it ?"

Mair said...

Ahhh! Ahhhh! AHHHH! OMG.

Did those people ever come back, I wonder? Ah, Derwin.

Nature Girl said...

YIKES! Well...all's well that ends well I suppose. Good thing the customers were cool about it.

Jon said...

I guess the moral of that story is: When life gives you a bloody band aid in your food, you get yourself some Bourbon.

metalia said...

Sweet hell. That is NASTY. I once found a fingernail clipping in a muffin, but this is worse, if possible.

Nocturnal said...

Well at least you saved money on the tip at that restaurant and yes, Bourbon Maggie sounds like a hoot.

abbersnail said...

ew ew ew ew ew EEEEEEEEW.

Also, my favoritest ever description of time? "fast forward to the past-future."

Nicely done, my friend.

Lollie said...

The only thing worse than a bloody band-aid perched atop your tuna steak would be a bloody band-aid wedged firmly inside your already half-eaten tuna steak.

Guh - vomit...

Butrfly Garden said...

Wow. Definitely agreed, Lollie.

I worked at a subway with a real bitch. If someone was an ass to her when she took their catering order, she licked EVERY piece of cheese on the party sub.

I also worked another ff place that won't be named in order to preserve my coolness, but there were some sick people there, too (only ones who couldn't fire me, so I actually ragged on them and/or got them in trouble).

Loved the story, though.

Disco and Dexter - Friends at Best said...

ah the beautiful things that happen behind the scenes at a restaurant.

lizgwiz said...

I'm with Lollie. A bloody band-aid perched ATOP the food is, at least, highly visible before any actual eating takes place.

kimmyk said...

Everytime I hear about bloody band aids I am reminded of the person at Red Robin...*shudders*

I don't like to find things in my food. Nothing will make my gag reflex flare like finding "something" in my food.

Could never work behind the scenes of a rest. No thanks.

Lollie said...

Seriously, bridge business - need to know if you're okay...

Mamacita Chilena said...

oh the joys of working in a restaurant...I've been there too!

I'd definitely rather find a bloody bandaid in my food before I started eating so I could replace it (or leave the restaurant). I've seen burgers dropped on the floor and then served and the customer just never knew.

Rebecca said...

so did you / do you own a restaurant? I did a LOT of waitressing and even managed a small mexican restaurant in my twenties. I was pretty good to.

So, if I come to America will you give me a job? (My fella's parents were USian so visas won't be a problem) And will you babysit my kids like you promised??

Whiskeymarie said...

Did. Did own.
Now I have my sanity back (really- I know), and at least a vague indication of a life.

But the babysitting offer stands.

Idea #527 said...

I actually had that happen to someone I was with. But replace tuna with a vanilla milkshake and the person I was with almost done with her milkshake, sucking the bejebes out of it and being like "man there's a big chunk of ice cream that isn't going through my straw." Then see all of our horrors when she was doing the suck and pull thing with her straw and there is a bandaid at the end. It was the most disgusting thing to happen right before church camp.

*side note: I have never had a vanilla milkshake since. And this was back in 1990.

Whiskeymarie said...

Idea- Eeew. I'm not usually squeamish, but god, that is gross.
Poor girl.
"band-aid-infused shake"