GI Joe Snake Eyes

The Joes and Cobras We Want in G.I. Joe 3

The time has come to replenish the ranks of the Joes and Cobras.

Despite that lengthy delay, G.I Joe: Retaliation -- out on Blu-ray this week -- was a success for Paramount and Hasbro. As a result, Paramount has already announced plans to move forward with a third entry in the franchise. Unlike last time, we're actually welcoming the news of another G.I. Joe movie.

Infographic: G.I. Joe - A Visual History

However, the problem now is finding new characters to populate the third movie. Retaliation is looked at as a partial reboot by some fans because so many of the original movie's cast (General Hawk, Scarlett, Baroness, Ripcord, Breaker) were ignored completely. Meanwhile, the movie wasn't exactly shy about killing off other major characters. That leaves a giant void in the ranks of both the Joes and Cobra that will need to be filled in the third movie. Luckily, this isn't a franchise lacking in colorful characters. We have a few ideas for the characters that deserve to take center stage in the next sequel.

Be advised this article contains SPOILERS from G.I. Joe: Retaliation!

Major Bludd

With Firefly out of the running, Cobra has an opening in the "sleazy mercenary" department. Major Bludd may not share Firefly's specialty for sabotage and fancy gadgets, but he's every bit as bloodthirsty. Bludd is an Australian assassin whose resume of murders and atrocities have made him a wanted criminal all over the world. The phrase "crimes against humanity" comes up a lot. Perfect for an organization that melted the Eiffel Tower and wiped London right off the map.

Aside from a high body count and distinctive accent, one of the things that sets Major Bludd apart is his sense of self-preservation. He's in this fight for the money, not the cause. That's led to some shifting loyalties and betrayals in the various comics and animated series. We'd like to see G.I. Joe 3 explore some sort of power struggle within the Cobra ranks as Cobra Commander contends with rivals like Serpentor or Destro. Seeing Bludd change alliances as that power struggle plays out could be a lot of fun. We'd also like to see the movie touch on his propensity for writing bad poetry.

Baroness & Destro

Baroness was one of the more conspicuously absent characters in Retaliation, while Destro had little more than a visual cameo role before being left behind during Cobra Commander's escape from prison. Given how central these two characters are to the G.I. Joe mythology, we hope they aren't ignored next time around.

Destro's role makes sense given how Retaliation played out. Zartan succeeded in forcing the world's leaders to disarm their collective nuclear arsenal. That leaves them vulnerable to attack from more Cobra doomsday devices. And who manufactures most of Cobra's fancy tech? Destro, of course. If knowing is half the battle, Cobra will need Destro's knowledge. And the fact that Cobra Commander encased his face in liquid metal nanites and then left him to rot in prison could lead to some fun tension between the two.

As for Baroness, as much as we want Cobra's resident femme fatale back in the movies, this is one character that might be better off being rebooted. We want the deadly seductress with the Russian accent, not the brainwashed ex-girlfriend of Duke and sister of Cobra Commander. With Duke dead, we hope G.I. Joe 3 will at least ignore the weird triangle from the first movie and just give us a Baroness more faithful to the comics and animation. That includes creating a genuine romantic connection between the two Cobra operatives.

Tomax & Xamot

Ever wonder where Cobra gets the money and manpower for all their crazy, world-dominating schemes? That would be the department of Tomax and Xamot Paoli. These two brothers are the heads of Extensive Enterprises, an international corporation that is basically the public front for Cobra. Finding the boardroom to be less exciting than the battlefield, the brothers partnered with Cobra and also serve as recruiters. They run the Crimson Guard - a group of elite Cobra troopers that handle the organization's most important missions and protection work. No doubt Cobra Commander needs to rebuild and regroup following his defeat in Retaliation. The Paoli twins are just the ticket.

But Tomax and Xamot are also fun because they more than fulfill the requirement that all Cobra operatives be a little bit crazy. They flaunt their twin status to the utmost degree, dressing and styling their hair so that they look like exact mirror images of one another. Only Xamot's facial scar distinguishes them. They share an empathic connection called Corsican Twin Syndrome. Not only do they seem to always know what the other is thinking, but they literally feel each other's pain.

That could be a fun dynamic to explore in the next movie. We'd even like to see the sequel draw from IDW's current G.I. Joe: Cobra series and show what happens when the bond between these brothers is finally shattered.

The Dreadnoks

We saw very little of Zartan in Retaliation outside his disguise as the President. But in other versions of G.I. Joe lore, Zartan isn't afraid to drop his disguises and get physical from time to time. He even has his own gang of colorful bikers called the Dreadnoks. This gang includes the chainsaw-wielding Buzzer, the temperamental, bayonet-loving Ripper, and the explosion-obsessed Monkeywrench. Each one has their gimmick, and each one loves killing Joes.

Even though Zartan died at the end of Retaliation, the time is ripe for the Dreadnoks to appear. We'd like to see the team led by one of Zartan's family members. His brother Zandar actually had a small role in Retaliation, which means he could be primed for a larger presence in the sequel. Whomever is in charge, we'd like to see the Dreadnoks set out to claim vengeance for the death of their leader. With Zarana in the field, Cobra would still have access to a master disguise artist who can wreak havoc on the world.


You can only explore the G.I. Joe universe for so long before bringing Serpentor into the fold. And especially if the sequel explores the idea of dissension among the Cobra ranks, Serpentor is a logical choice to be the primary villain of the story. Serpentor is designed to be the ultimate leader of Cobra. He was cloned from genetic fragments taken from historical figures such as Alexander the Great, Hannibal, Napolean, and Attila the Hun, gaining all of their knowledge, experience, and talents (and weaknesses) in the process. Basically, he's like the Captain Planet of super-villains. Never you mind that DNA doesn't transmit memory. This is G.I. Joe we're talking about.

We'd love to see Cobra super-science lead to the creation of Serpentor in the next movie, leading to a civil war among the ranks as some rally behind their new emperor and others remain loyal to Cobra Commander. Serpentor could be portrayed as cartoonishly evil as he is in the animated series, or the writers could opt for a more subdued take on the villain a la IDW's current comics. As long as the franchise steers clear of the Cobra-La mythology the animated movie introduced, we'll be all set.

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Distributors:Paramount Pictures
Release Date:October 23, 2021