"She can't tell a king from a jack in her own hand - right in front of her nose," Cy the Cynic grumbled. "She surely can't tell one from the other in somebody else's hand."

Cy was speaking of Minnie Bottoms, who wears old bifocals that make her mix up kings and jacks, often to her opponents' chagrin. Cy is Minnie's chief victim.

"What'd she do to you now?"

"I was West," Cy said, showing today's deal, "and Minnie was South. I led a low heart against 3NT, and my partner played the jack. Minnie won with the ace!"

"She thought East had played the king," I smiled.

"Minnie next led the ace and jack of diamonds," the Cynic growled. "We had to convince her that my king had won. She thought she had the A-K and was running the diamonds. But I naturally led another low heart. Minnie produced the queen and made her game."

If Minnie wins the first heart with the queen, Cy will shift to clubs, as the only chance for the defense, when he takes the king of diamonds.

South dealer

Neither side vulnerable