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Traveling back in time with Donald Trump

Jerry Harkness
Op-ed column

This op-ed column reflects the opinions of its author, Jerry Harkness.

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Franklin D. Roosevelt was a great American president. He galvanized the nation and overcame both an enemy attack and a terrible economic depression over 75 years ago. Imagine what would happen to America if President Donald Trump faced those same two challenges. Using some of the liar-in-chief's own ridiculous statements, the following spoof of a Trump press conference is probably closer to truth than it is to humor.

Jerry Harkness

Trump Press Conference

Reporter: President Trump, what is your plan to handle the terrible Depression that has devastated our country?

Trump: What Depression? There is no depression. What you are seeing is not really happening. The economy is the strongest in history.
Reporter: No it isn't. The stock market crashed and the country is in a deep economic depression. Don't you listen to your economic advisers or read the newspapers?

Trump: It's fake news. The free press is the enemy of the people. My TV channel, Fox News, reported that the stock market did not crash, the Depression is a hoax started by crooked Hillary, and Obama is responsible for the attack on Pearl Harbor. My supporters love Fox News. That's why they are so smart. 

Reporter: Sir, the country faces massive unemployment caused by the Depression. Why don't you devise a plan to save our economy? You could call it the "New Deal."

Trump: I don't see any reason I would do that.

Reporter: Because you're the president.

Donald Trump speaks at a rally in Fresno, Calif., on May 27, 2016.

Trump: I mean I don't see any reason I wouldn't do that. Sort of a double negative. My plan will be called the "New Steal." I will repeal Obamacare, replace it with worthless junk insurance, steal poor people's subsidies and use the revenue savings to give a huge permanent tax cut to rich people like myself.

Reporter: This interview is going nowhere.  I'll change the subject. What are you going to do about Japan's attack on Pearl Harbor?

Trump: I will build a great wall to keep the Japanese out and Japan will pay for it. But maybe it wasn't Japan. It could be anyone. It could be someone sitting on their bed who weighs 400 pounds.

Reporter: All our intelligence agencies say it was Japan.

Trump: It's a witch hunt. My comrade Vladimir Putin agrees. Just because Putin is an evil autocratic Russian dictator doesn't mean I should believe my intelligence agencies instead of him.

Reporter: Only you and Fox News deny that Japan attacked our naval base at Pearl Harbor. Why is it so hard for you to hold Japan accountable for an attack against America?

Trump: There are fine people on both sides. You think our country is so innocent. Anyway, the Japanese prime minister is very strong and powerful in his denial. OK, your interview time is up. I have a very important meeting scheduled with a Playboy bunny and a porn star and I am late.

Jerry Harkness lives in Shreveport.

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