This is probably the most personal and real poem that I’ve ever written. As it says, I can’t explain this thing that I’ve had for years. It has a name but I don’t feel inclined to carry it around so few know and I prefer it to be like that, however, from experiences happening now with friends and myself, I feel like it’s time to write this to show that they are not alone.





Be like a toothpick,

blinding gorgeous blood from your thumb.

It’s what the you in your dumb

unforgiving, forgetting mind screams.


Do it. Something will happen .

Death in your family,

Illness like once,

Bombs overhead,

Scary preying monsters

This could happen

if you don’t double check your front door.


Widows peak, get rid

No one will love you if it dominates

your sunlight freckles that smiles daily

hiding this voice. This scary voice

Switch the light three times before the loo,

incase a thief thinks a house is free to loom.


Nobody fully understands.

‘Don’t listen, nothing bad will happen’

This voice won’t be silent with other.

All in my mind is ‘click it,

Stratch it until bloodly flesh,

Keep pen there,

Don’t queue in busy times

Incase a man explodes

Just like old times’


This is uncomplete,

the story is continuing,

I can’t explain it right now

so let me tell you in good time.


Astrid x







  1. theiridescentworldofindy

    I got a really strong vibe from this poem of OCD. I don’t know if thats what you were going for or if I’m just projecting onto your poem. Nevertheless it really is a masterpiece.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Elsie LMC

    This is so beautiful!! And kind of nostalgic, I used to feel like that part of your poem where something bad would happen if I didn’t keep up a ritual but I forgot the extremes to which it worried me until I read this. It happens rarely to me now but I know a person who can’t help feeling this way daily so reading this has put me in a more understanding mindset now I can remember a small part of what it felt like (not sure if I’m making sense 😂) 💗

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply


You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo


Twitter picture


Facebook photo


Connecting to %s