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Some of the Best Court Reporter Humor

Some of the Best Court Reporter Humor

There are plenty of funny (okay, at least humorous) jokes at court reporters’ expense. Have you heard the one about the two people standing in the unemployment line?

“I got so bored at my old job, I just started typing “yada yada yada. That’s how I got fired from my court reporting job.” But these kinds of jokes rarely top the things court reporters hear on the job. 

Every court reporter with some experience has a few crazy stories to tell (source)


Ask any court reporter who’s spent some time transcribing depositions or witness testimony if he or she has ever heard someone say something strange, unexpected or inappropriate, and most will be able to rattle of a list of examples.

They said what?!

The California Court Reporters Association has compiled several of the strangest and funniest things court reporters have had to record with a straight face. Here are some of the best:

Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July fifteenth.

Q: What year?

A: Every year.

Then there’s the case of mistaken identity …



Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.

What memories?


A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.


I don’t think that’s what he meant …

Q: Are you sexually active?

A: No, I just lie there.

Do what?


A: We both do.

Q: Voodoo?

A: We do.

Q: You do?

A: Yes, voodoo.

Just to clarify …


Male or female?

Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male, or a female?

What town did you grow up in?


A: Oral.

Quite a wake-up call …


A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?


Many will be shocked to see so many instances of the attorney asking the ridiculous questions, and often the respondent providing the snarky response. Remember, these are professionals who know what they plan to ask ahead of time and know it’s all being committed to an official record of some kind!

How good is your Darth Vader impression? (source)

How good is your Darth Vader impression? (source)

In these situations, court reporters need to be at their most professional — and somehow keep from laughing out loud in the courtroom.

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If you are looking for a court reporting agency that is the right fit for your needs, I invite you to contact us.  Come see the difference that we make for our clients.

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