i think two guys were making fun of me earlier tonight.

right in front of me.

they denied it, but i still got the feeling they were.

and i let it bother me.

i don’t know why i let it bother me, but i did. i’ve never had a problem with these two guys. we’ve always been friendly, joked with each other at times, and all of that. we’d never be mistaken for friends, but we could easily be described as acquaintances.

the entire way home i was trying to figure out what they were saying before they walked by me laughing. i went through a ton of things in my head. was i dressed weird? did i have something on my face? did someone tell them something about me? did they not like me?

and that’s when i stopped.

why do i care if these guys like me? why did that thought even pop into my head? did i really care if these guys liked me? if i did, why?

when i got home a friend of mine sent me something on facebook. as we were talking, somehow it came up that he had asked someone (person a) their opinion on someone else (person b) and that he was going to ask someone else (person c) their opinion on the first someone else (person b).

yeah, it confused me too.

but more importantly, why was he asking people their opinion on someone else? why did it matter? why are we so obsessed with what people think of us and what they think of other people? i don’t get it.

i’ve always told people that i didn’t care what people thought of me, that i just did my own thing. that’s a lie. it always has been. i cared what people thought but thought they’d think i was cooler if i said i didn’t care. if i acted like i didn’t care what they thought, maybe they’d think better of me.

yes, that’s as dumb as it sounds.

i know that we all want to be wanted. that’s a given. it’s natural. i just never realized how absolutely stupid wondering what people thought of us was until tonight. so what if those two guys were making fun of me. let them. and who cares if person a doesn’t like person b. why should that change my opinion of person b? it shouldn’t.

i don’t really have a point to make right here. i just wanted to talk about that. i guess my only point would be to forget what people might think of you and focus more on what god thinks of you. he thinks you’re pretty awesome and loves you no matter what. you could wear plaid shorts and a striped shirt and while i think he’d laugh at you, i know he’d still love you and think you were pretty awesome. who cares if the cool kids two tables over are laughing at you? if the creator of the two cool kids thinks you’re pretty cool, why does it matter what the cool kids think of you?

say your prayers and take your vitamins.

have a nice day.