Why Are Mothers So Mean To Each Other?


Hey there!

I hope your week has been great thus far.

So ya’ll know I’m a newbie to this mama life. I always have a lot of questions and I figured that maybe I should make some mama friends. Women who are going through this journey with me and who been there and done that would be great to listen to me vent, swap ideas, and just unwind together, right?


Well not completely wrong.

I befriended a group of mamas in November. 2 of the mamas were newbies like myself and the other 2 where seasoned mamas.

Well the 2 seasoned mothers constantly judged our newbie parenting. We were mocked, judged, and scolded if we newbies did not make something work for our kid that they felt should work.

One of the newbie mamas wanted to start giving her 3 month old puréed fruits and the seasoned mamas made her feel horrible for even considering such a thing before the recommended 4 months of age.

It got so bad that one of the newbie mamas and a seasoned mama were so close to fist fighting.

This just wasn’t what I had in mind when I said I wanted mama friends. But after asking around, I was surprised to learn that a lot of mamas are mean and judgmental towards one another.

Some mamas feel that their way of doing things is right and others feel that if your not following what the American Association of Pediatrics has recommended then you’re a horrible mother all around.

It’s crazy.

As mothers, we have so much put on our plates already. Most are juggling multiple kids, careers, and school. So why do some feel to belittle the next?

Not everything works for every kid. A mother should be able to do what works for her child without the fear of others telling her she is wrong for every little thing.

Mama life isn’t easy. There isn’t a magical book with all the instructions, and if you happen to find some Instructions, chances are they don’t work for your kid!

So the last thing we should do is tear each other down. Let’s uplift each other, encourage each other, and support each other. You can offer advice and ideas but don’t be mean. That mother may have tried everything in the books and finally found something that works for HER kid. If you don’t agree, that’s ok too.

So for this holiday season, I challenge you to tell a mother that she is doing a great job. Whether it’s someone you know or a complete stranger, just say “you’re doing a great job mama”. I’m sure that small gesture will mean the world to her.

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  1. You are doing a great job period! If someone wants to belittle all your efforts then you don’t need such negativity around you. I have seen it in the many Mom groups that I am and its horrible everyone wants to look like they know it all but at the end of the day being a mom or parenting doesn’t come with a manual so everyone does what works for their child and that’s, and as a mom you know your child better than anyone. Continue what you’re doing and focusing on your child and forget about what other people think or say.

    1. Thank you. And yes it is horrible. Some moms are so mean. Btw I know you are doing great as well! 💙

  2. Love this post! Very insightful.

  3. You are doing a great job. Being part of a mama group displays how intentional you are about being a good mom. As a mother, be open to advice,,, but the best advice; know your baby and their needs, find a happy medium that works for you and her

    1. Thank you. I appreciate it !

  4. 1000% true! Your post is everything! I couldn’t believe just how much negativity I received from other mothers. This is the one job that doesn’t come with instructions and yet, everybody feels like they have a say in somebody else’s mothering.

    1. Yes! I couldn’t believe it. I was getting shamed for trying to do my best. I know not all mothers are like this but it was a shock nonetheless. Hopefully you let that negativity go in one ear and out the other because you are doing great mama!!

  5. Unfortunately, American society continues to be extremely critical of women no matter what role they inhabit–wife, mother, etc… So it’s no surprise that women are critical of each other especially when it comes to child rearing. The “seasoned mothers” you mentioned were probably subject to the same type of ridicule when they first had their littles because American society will still place the bulk of the blame on the mother if something goes wrong with the child. But no worries. I’m sure you’re doing a great job mama.

    1. You are so right. Society is extremely critical and that may be what those women were used to. Hopefully we can learn to uplift and encourage one another instead.
      And thank you! All I can do is try!

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