Staying in a good hotel is like staying in a fancy house, but you never have to clean or make your own bed or even get your own food if you don’t want to. But there are a few ground rules that all hotels should abide (P.S. check our our list of the best food lovers' hotels across the country).

These commandments are borne from years of weathering major and minor injustices at stodgy chain hotels and boorish boutiques, where the Wi-Fi wasn’t free or the room service was disappointingly under-seasoned. You're paying for these rooms, you're allowed to expect better. Hoteliers, take these tips to heart; it’ll make our stay that much more enjoyable and put your hotel high on our list of homes away from home.

1. Thou shalt not charge guests for Wi-Fi.

2. Thy late-night room service menu is thy most holy of menus.

3. Thy furnishings shalt not be so modern as to be inoperable.

4. Thy bottled water shalt be complimentary. (At least the first bottle!)

5. Thy guests still appreciate small candies or cookies at turndown, you know?

6. Thou shalt stock more than three hangers in thy closet.

7. Thy bathrobes better be plush.

8. Thy rooms must have coffee. Or thy lobby better have a solid coffee spot.

9. Thy premises shalt include a gym, even if thine guests don’t quite get around to using it.

10. Thy outlets shalt not be hidden behind thine furniture. (And if thou art so generous as to have a cellphone dock, it shall accommodate the current iPhone connector. It hath been five years. Giveth us a break.)

Now, who ordered room service?