Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.


JOHN MC CAIN: My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.



DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?


BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.



DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken doesn’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.


ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.



MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.


ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.





BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2009, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2009. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.


COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

HAHAHA! I’m with Aristotle on this one. 😀

Which answer do you think was the best?

Abundant Life

Teaching: The Dead are Dead (Part Four)



Let’s get started:

Why would God say the dead are dead over and over in the Bible?

Because people believe what they see and not what they read. The fact that demons appear and impersonate dead people year after year causes people to believe what they see.

The so-called “Immortal Soul”
There is no such thing as an “immortal soul” in the Bible. The phrase simply does not appear in the Bible at all. Apparitions, ghosts, hauntings, and demons impersonating people have had a powerful effect in getting people to believe that dead people are actually alive in another form. Satan’s demons have been appearing to people in many types of forms since mankind was first on earth. Hauntings and people seeing ghosts have been well documented all over the world, and anthropologists studying the cultures of the world have documented people reporting all kinds of apparitions, including animals, people, and spiritual beings of all types. Sometimes they do not appear clearly, but are dark, or as a shadow (almost like you were not sure you saw it), or wispy, or the apparition is not there long. Sometimes they are very clear, and even carry on conversations with people.

The number and kinds of appearances have convinced the people of many cultures that the dead are not dead, but are alive.

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Will Christians really live forever in “Heaven”?

So, you’re a Christian. Cool. Did you know that puts you “in sales”? Well, actually you’re trying to give away the product, but it is still a matter of persuading people to make a decision. Smart consumers today want to be informed about the product so they can make a sound decision. What is it you are trying to get people to sign up for? Forever.

Let’s say you’re in real estate, looking for a home for your clients, a married couple. You find the perfect place, and say to them: “I’ve found your dream home. It has everything you could ever want or need. The only condition is that if you move there, you must stay forever.” You can see them momentarily furrowing their brows as they try to conceive of “forever” and soon give up. They do realize, however, that it is a long time. Do you think they would have any questions about the place where, if they choose it, they will live forever?

So, knowing the real estate standard of “location, location, location,” they ask, “Where is the home located?” How will most Christians answer that vital question? “It’s in heaven.”

Well, that nails it down. “Huh?” This ethereal answer leaves room for much speculation, but the general idea of floating around somewhere forever does, for most people, introduce at least the possibility of eventual, and eternal, boredom.

“What’s the place like?” That’s also a logical question, especially when forever is involved. “Uh, well, it has pearly gates and streets of gold.” “Sounds a little slippery, but I guess that’s OK.”

Their next question might be: “What will we do there?” The average Christian “salesman” would be hard-pressed to give a definitive answer, and might say, “I’m not exactly sure, but I think it may have something to do with a harp.” Customer: “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to play a harp forever.”

Wait a minute, we should be able to figure out at least something about what everlasting life will be like just by putting together a couple of basic biblical truths. First, God is love. Second, God invented people. So, whatever people really enjoy, you know, things they wouldn’t mind lasting a while, is probably what we’ll be doing. Why would a loving God make this life so diversified, so potentially meaningful and enjoyable, and then make eternal life anything less?

The idea of all believers living in “heaven” is, appropriately, nebulous. Why? Because “nebulous” literally means “full of clouds” and in contemporary language means “difficult to grasp.” Have you ever looked up every biblical use of the word “heaven”? If you do, you will never find it used to describe anyone’s everlasting address. Check for yourself.

So then where did this idea come from? Not from the book of Genesis, which is fairly foundational. How so? Well, think about it, what if Adam and Eve had not disobeyed God? Right, they would have lived forever on a perfect earth. Looks like that was God’s original intent, huh?

The whole Bible can be summed up as the story of two men, the first Adam (Adam) and the Last Adam (Jesus Christ). In regard to Paradise, which biblically is always a place on earth, not heaven, the First Adam trashed it and the Last Adam will restore it. The Lord Jesus will rule this earth (renovated after the Tribulation) for 1000 years, and that is where Moses, the Apostle Paul, and you will be shooting pool, or whatever. How could you shoot pool on a cloud? Then the Lord will create a new earth, where all believers from all time will live — forever. Harps will be optional. [For further study read “Christianity 101: Two Adams.”]

Having only a vague idea of where and how we will spend eternity not only makes it very difficult to motivate others to “sign up,” it can also seriously dilute our own mental resolve to joyfully live our lives for the Lord Jesus Christ in this world, no matter the cost. Everyone knows that “hope” is an indispensable element of life. In fact, without hope in their lives, many people actually give up and die. Biblically, “hope” is the expectation of something good that God has promised. Understanding what God says about the Christian’s hope is vital to each believer living a radiant life as a light in the midst of darkness.

Our book, The Christian’s Hope: The Anchor of the Soul, is designed to paint a clear picture of what the Word of God says about the Hope that is to be the prime motivation for each of us day by day. It is loaded with stimulating biblical insights that will inspire you and, we hope, move you to tell your friends the Good News, perhaps by giving them a copy of the book. Many of the clear-cut biblical truths that we set forth in this book are apparently unknown to the vast majority of Christians today, and our prayer is that many will read it and thrill to the spiritual enlightenment they will receive.

Going from spiritual darkness to spiritual light is an exciting journey, and, because “knowing the truth will make you free,” it is also one that leads to an enhanced quality of life. The book answers the question: Where did the erroneous idea of living forever in heaven come from? Other vital topics include an overview of end times chronology, the “Rapture,” the various judgments that will include all people who have ever lived, Armageddon (we win!), each Christian’s rewards in the Millennial Kingdom and in the Eternal Kingdom (and the difference between the two), why believers will inherit a highly-renovated earth (not clouds and sky), what it will be like and some of the things we will do there.

To the degree that we understand these marvelous truths, we can live with an effervescence that bubbles up from a fountain of hope within us, the hope of living forever in a perfect world with God, the Lord Jesus and all believers of all time. God is love, and He never intended for the world to be in the sorry state it is today. In the hope He has given us, we have His guarantee that via His Son, Jesus Christ, He will restore Paradise and all its goodness for us to enjoy forever.


You can read more about this subject here:

Is There Death After Life?

Free Online Seminar: Death & Resurrection to Life

Thanks for reading.

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