How to handle teen Sexting

How do you deal with a teenager who is SEXTING? Do you take phone away? Just have a real discussion about it. Then let them have phone back? How long do you keep the phone away? If given back, how do you know it won’t happen again?

Obviously getting bark on the phone, and any other suggestion for monitoring. We have androids by the way. Also, if my child gives me their sign in information to their accounts, how do I know they are not hiding other things on their phone? How do I keep them from going behind my back and getting anything I take off phone back?

I’ve reset the phone before to factory settings, and my child was able to recover pics, and accounts that I unactivated. I basically need to restart with my child’s phone, and maybe a new phone number.

I found this article about talking to teens about sexting. It is Bible-based, so I don’t know if it’s considered appropriate in this venue. But even without the scriptural references, it’s got some really practical advice on how to communicate with a teen on this subject.
Good luck!


May want to try IPHONE, I believe you can shut off the camera with them and lock it down so they cant get new apps and it’ll let you set limits on content.


I get the inclination to block, reset, etc. My issue is how do we teach healthy sex habits? We don’t do it by blocking it. It requires honest conversation and honesty. Parents need to be more open and less inclined to ignore, deny and admonish what is natural for everyone. We have all been teens. Who taught us? Chances are better than not we were lest to our own devices and that just perpetuates hiding and shame not to mention misinformation and ignorance. Be open with them and be clear about consequences of certain actions.


I am dealing with this now. I’m very open with my kid. We discussed how at 13 those thing were inappropriate and even though they are both kids it is still not allowed. The dangers outweigh whatever reward. And then I ground her from her phone. :smiley:


I just discovered “family link” that is available on Android. It allowed me to completely remove Snapchat, Instagram, Duo… It’s a great addition to Bark, and it’s free. If your kid tries to download a new app, it requests parental permission. It allows you to restrict the age settings or available apps as well. With Bark, I was informed of some troubling things that led to me deleting these apps for my 15 year old. She can still have her phone, but it really limits what she can do on it, which is amazing.

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Great article! Thank you!

Yes!! I have my kids iPhones & Ipads locked down through Family Share. They have to ask me to unlock it so their App Store will appear so they can even search or download a new app. My 11 year old has to ask permission in which it sends it to me to approve but my 13 year it doesn’t even though I have it mark to ask. With this feature and Bark I know every move they makeZ

So my daughter is now 16. We were the subject of a child pornography issue at school last year after she and a boy were sending nudes to eachother and someone spammed it to other kids on campus. Yes we took away her device, grounded her for two weeks. But then we also spoke very straight forward and openly about stds, pregnancy, and the intentions younger boys have. Now, i realize this is not all on the boy, not saying that, they are at equal fault. If our kids are going to find a way to discover eachother intimately, after all, didnt we find a way in our day?; then shouldnt we equip them with the tools that help the most? Knowledge. I actually showed my child raw pics of advanced stages of gonnerreah, chlaymydia in the throat, and a full blown aids patient, whose herpes virus had made sores occur over his entire body. I showed these to her when she was 12. Maybe young, but just before she reached the eye rolling age of, “whatever mom, things are not the same as they were back then.” This shows her lack of wisdom, because things are not the same, but biological makeup of a boy and a girl? This really hasnt changed since the beginning of time. Except once it was not talked about and shamed, should be discussed free from embarrassment, judgement, and shame. After all, we all enjoy it in our own way, do we not? Good Luck Parents!!


I understand this must be frustrating. My advice would be to have the law at the forefront of this discussion rather than having sex talks. There are states with juvenile sex offender laws that lag way behind technology. There have been a number of cases with consensual teenagers engaging in normal sexual curiosities through texting who unintentionally land in criminal court, and are now listed as registered sex offenders for child pornography. This is what should be most concerning. There are numerous articles and videos helping us navigate through these poorly structured laws. The more we can understand them the better. Find out what your state laws are and have a discussion about what legal and illegal activities they can do with their phone. Then talk about what your expectations are for appropriate behavior. It might not happen the way you’d like, but at least there will be more caution and knowledge of what sexting behavior the state authorities will and will not tolerate.

Also, I monitor all access to my wifi now - I get an alert anytime a new device connects.

We have Family Link through Google to limit what apps can be installed (requires permission for new apps). Of course, then we found she had gotten another phone from a friend and was just using it on the wifi, so then we took away both phones. Using Bark now, and if she ever does get a phone again, it will be a 1 strike and you’re out situation. Family Link only allows one personal email and one school email on the device so difficult to create new accounts without Bark knowing. My requirement is that I must have all logins for all accounts and one account per app per kid. Not only for monitoring/safety but just so I can help them get back in if they need to. I have 5 girls from 7 to 15. It takes constant vigilance.