The Greatest Day: What I Learned From My Wedding

I never thought about what my dream wedding would be. To be honest, I actually thought I wouldn't get married and if I did I wanted to elope. I thought weddings were pretty but never really thought I had to have one. There were so many other things I wanted to spend my time, money and effort on and I didn't want to make a big fuss just for a piece of paper. That is, until I met Antony. We got married at City Hall in May but wanted to keep our original wedding plans and went ahead with our celebration in October.   

I've attended and been in dozens of weddings all with varying locations, guest counts, budgets, and themes. I felt like I had seen it all. While planning I thought about all these weddings. What did I like? What did I not like? What would I have changed? How could I make this my own? Do I have to spend a lot of money to have a great wedding? Do I need to have over 200 people to have a great party? Will I become a bridezilla? Does everyone get stressed out? Do I need a wedding planner? How do we start our lives together? How do we make it special and unique?

Planning definitely had its ups and downs, but I'm so grateful to have gone through such an amazing experience. It was truly one of the greatest days and I learned so much about myself that I will keep with me throughout my life and marriage. 

1) Stay true to yourself

Yes, everyone says it's your day but that doesn't mean you're allowed to be a crazy basketcase bossy bridezilla. It means have the wedding you want. If you want something traditional or as off the wall as possible, go for it! It's a chance to celebrate the two of you. We had a lot of our ideas criticized by friends, like wanting bright red and blue as our colors or hunting a pig for everyone to eat but we did what we wanted. I wanted a mermaid in the swimming pool and didn't want a traditional cake. I didn't want a veil but wanted my bridesmaids to all wear matching dresses and we wanted to write our own vows. They can be small ideas or the overall theme, but stay true to what you want. Add in those special touches you love that make the two of you unique. Remember how special the two of you are. 

2) Think outside the box
Whether you want to rent a house for the weekend, make your own floral arrangements, or tap into your friends' talents, with enough time and patience you can have an amazing wedding. We really wanted to get married at a winery but most were just out of our budget and all had a lot of restrictions. We looked around more and found a private estate with a hobby winery that we rented for the whole weekend with very very few restrictions. We didn't hire a traditional wedding caterer, photographer, bartender, florist, DJ or baker because anything with "wedding" in the title because that word makes everything twice as expensive. And just because that little word isn't in the title doesn't mean it's not as good. A co-worker did my hair, one of my bridesmaids made my hairpiece, a good friend was our DJ and two other friends were our photographers. You'll be surprised how many friends and family want to help, you just have to ask. Everyone has a special talent.

3) Compromise & remember what is important
If your budget won't let you have 300 guests and an ice swan, make a list of what is important to you. Who are your closest friends and family? When you close your eyes, what do you see? Who and what do you need? We didn't have to compromise too much with our budget but Antony really wanted to hunt a pig and I really wanted a mermaid so we found ways to make it work. We didn't do escort cards (I'm convinced seating charts are the biggest cause of wedding stress) and just rented basic ivory linens and plates. We kept our guestlist small (around 100) by only inviting family and close friends. Focus on what is important and let everything else fall into place.

4) Be flexible and enjoy surprises No matter how much you prepare, not everything will go according to plan. One of our makeup artists fell through, we booked vans but didn't work out who would be driving, and we found a ceremony musician the day before. The 24 hours leading up to the wedding were the most stressful because all our family and friends were in town and we were still working out last minute details. Antony also surprised me with a unicorn and my mother-in-law booked a bag piper! Everything will work out if you plan, plan, plan more and then know you won't follow your plan exactly. Enjoy life's little surprises.

Photos by Nichole Alright Photography, Jonathan Nafarrete, Edward Bernal, and Mike Prasad
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