Crying on the subway and other sad things.

The other night, my oldest friend (in the sense that we've known each other since before we were even a year old) and her boyfriend came into the city to have dinner with us. 
 I haven't seen this girl in a year. 

So we went to Opal Bar in Midtown East and had a lovely time. 
Conversation came easy, as it tends to do with friends you've known that long. 
But then she told me that she got a job in Montana, where her family moved after our high school graduation. 
Gosh knows how many miles away (I dare not look) and further apart than we've ever lived before. 
There are worse things, yes. 

But there's something paralyzing about losing one of the few things that was always close enough to drive to, whenever you needed it. One of the few people who knows your stupid mistakes - every single one, and loved you through every insecure moment of your childhood. Who let you cry and made you laugh and suffered with you through every terrifying moment before every test. The only other person in your 3rd and 4th grade classes. The one who heard about that first kiss before anyone else. Who called every birthday, without fail, since you were five. Who combined her 16th birthday party with yours. The one who listened to every violin lesson you ever took because you shared that, too. 

The one who planned to attend the same college as you. 
And stayed up talking to you when neither of your plans worked out. 
I was tearing up on the subway ride home. 
It was noticeable enough for an incredibly sweet woman to stand up and give me a tissue (which reminded me that, sometimes, New Yorkers are kind). 

I guess I'm realizing that change is good. Necessary. But usually it's hard. 
Always a little scary. 
And I suppose there are farther places than Montana. 


  1. awww I am sure you will still remain close at heart!!!

    On the bright side, you now have an excuse for a road trip!

  2. I hate long distances between me and people that I love! Hopefully you can visit each other a lot :)

  3. Aw so sorry your friend is moving so far away! I live far from all my sisters and my best friend too, which is sad, but thank heavens for the telephone! :)

  4. Hope you can keep in touch. But I find it difficult with long distance relationships as I get so busy with my own thing. Stumbled upon your blog.

  5. Aw I am so sorry!! I know the feeling.. my best friend is moving to Kansas in a couple months!! Breaks my heart! It is so hard to be that far apart... but thank goodness for phones, internet, and airplanes :) I hope you two can visit each other a lot!
    And that is the cutest picture of you gorgeous girls :)

  6. aw im sorry!! this is always hard, but just think of the amazing girls trips you will now plan together!


I love hearing from you!