Have you ever noticed the direction you choose when you get irritated? The build-up, do you recognise what is happening in you. I always feel the tension in me when I start to get irritated; I look out for when it starts to build. You have to ask yourself what triggers this.

Sometimes it may be your values; you feel your values are being eroded. Sometimes your beliefs may be questioned, which annoys you.  I think it is excellent watching people start to get irritated. The speed of their response to people when they question back or respond seems to change when they may feel they are challenged. It may be work pressure that triggers people or lack of time they have to deal with all the inputs placed on them. Life sometimes is not easy.

What can you do when the irritation starts to happen, what do you recognise in yourself when you begin to feel irritated and why? Watch the change in a room when someone gets irritated with someone else, what happens to you? What do you notice in your changes even as an observer, do you feel the tension if so where? You can guarantee you will feel something but what and how do you respond to this. Stay calm or feel you need to intervene. If your trigger is to stay calm, why do you do this? If your trigger is to get involved, why is this? Always reflect on learning.

This is interesting to notice you in any situation whether you get irritated or you watch someone else get irritated. Next time focus on you, your feelings, thoughts and behaviours — an excellent experience for you to think about with just this one small area that affects everyone. I think you can never stop learning about yourself and to be at your best, you have to understand yourself well.

That state of feeling that you get annoyed, irritated, impatient or slightly angry, these can all take you off course. If it becomes a problem for you, you can change it; you can change anything in life if you choose to, sit with that one for a moment. And on that point, what have you thought about, what have you noticed in you any feelings or thoughts? If so reflect and if there is nothing reflect on that, reflect on that. There is always something to see as you continue to grow in your life. Regardless of any age, you continuously learn. Knowing yourself first is the essential thing in life; everything comes from you.

Claire Moody is our head coach at Target Training, and you can read more about her here.  She delivers training on all coaching and numerous training the trainer courses.