GM announces another recall

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A 1916 Chevrolet 490, yesterday

Just hours after issuing another massive recall for Chevy Malibus, Corvettes and full-size pick ups, there was more embarrassment for GM as the company was forced to issue an urgent safety recall for the 1916 Chevrolet 490.

‘After studying historic footage of this model in motion our engineers have discovered that it is incapable of driving anywhere at less than what appears to be 200mph,’ said a GM spokesman. ‘Clearly, this is a great safety risk to passengers during cornering as they may be thrown from the car onto a dirt road then get up extremely quickly and shake their fist at the rapidly disappearing car before dusting themselves down in a comical way.’

GM is asking every 490 owner to take their car to their Chevrolet dealer, although the company urges them to send a telegraph in advance as it’s possible someone has demolished the original dealership and town.

‘Whilst in the workshop, every 490 will also undergo a second precautionary check based on our engineers’ findings,’ a spokesman added. ‘This is to make sure the running boards are not covered in men in dark colored suits. These men could be mobsters. Or they might be policemen. It varies.’

As a goodwill gesture, Chevrolet has promised that during the safety checks they will perform a free top up of the 490’s reservoir of fast-paced piano music.