Terence Braxton

Fat kids donÂ’t like phys ed class. Ditto for lazy stoners. The same goes for any geek or dweeb thatÂ’s ever been the victim of a locker-room bullyÂ’s towel snap. In fact, given the opportunity, most of them would rather pay to get out of being humiliated for an hour in front of their peers, or worse, in front of a girl with whom they are secretly infatuated.
ItÂ’s little wonder why 28-year-old Terence Braxton was a popular second-year teacher at Ernest Ward Middle School, located in a rural area of the Florida panhandle. According to officials, between September and December, Braxton let kids skip his gym class if they paid him a dollar a day Â– a small price to pay for oneÂ’s self esteem.

Unfortunately, BraxtonÂ’s superiors found out about his arrangement. He resigned from his teaching and basketball coaching position before they could fire him. What a shame. Now those poor kids will be forced to attend gym class, possibly scarring them for life.

Now, Braxton has been charged with six felony counts of bribery. The Escambia County SheriffÂ’s Office says that an investigation shows that there had been 30 Â“victims.Â”

Victims?!? Are you kidding? These kids werenÂ’t victims. They were customers taking advantage of a valuable service, which school officials have subsequently denied them.

Sure, Braxton may not have been teaching his Â“customersÂ” phys ed, but he was teaching them, nonetheless. Those kids learned a priceless lesson in free enterprise.

Beginning teachers in Escambia County make about $30,000. ThatÂ’s not nearly enough to deal with the little hellions that some irresponsible parents shove on the bus every morning. If lawmakers wonÂ’t pay teachers more, why canÂ’t an enterprising instructor get a daily stipend from a bunch of kids who would otherwise probably spend the money on video games?

Escambia County School District Associate Superintendent Ronnie Arnold took notice of how lucrative such an arrangement could be for an underpaid and underappreciated public school teacher. He said, "If you had 100 kids paying, that's not bad in tax-free money." Damn skippy!