A SoCal philosopher just got $5 million to study what happens after you die. Really.

Give the money to us and we'll refund $4 mil, save you a lot of time, and tell you what our mama always said: You die, you die.

Anyway, the lucky winner is John Fischer, who got the grant from the John Templeton Foundation. To be fair, there's more involved here, apparently, than just chin-scratching about the afterlife experience:

Fischer will be charged with collecting and analyzing data regarding the true-life experiences of those who were legally brain dead but came back to consciousness.

He says in a UC Riverside statement:

Credit: Sony

Credit: Sony

We're not going to spend money to study alien-abduction reports. We will look at near-death experiences and try to find out what's going on there — what is promising, what is nonsense, and what is scientifically debunked. We may find something important about our lives and our values, even if not glimpses into an afterlife.

The cash will also go toward putting on two afterlife academic conferences and to soliciting and undertaking research projects by other professors on experience after death.

Fischer's work will also have him wondering if possible afterlife is boring, worthwhile or meaningful to the living. And, uh, is that light at the end of the tunnel for real? Really. According to UCR:

One of the questions he hopes researchers will address is cultural variations in reports of near-death experiences. For example, the millions of Americans who have experienced the phenomenon consistently report a tunnel with a bright light at the end. In Japan, reports often find the individual tending a garden.

If this doesn't start to pan out, professor, our offer stands.

[@dennisjromero / djromero@laweekly.com / @LAWeeklyNews]