Home Stories The Struggle Of Hiding A  ‘High-Functioning’ Depression Behind The Happy Face Everybody...

The Struggle Of Hiding A  ‘High-Functioning’ Depression Behind The Happy Face Everybody Loves


Depression is having the worst nightmare come true. It is a mental illness that is taking over thousands of innocent lives. It is a condition that rarely anyone understands.

And that is the same reason why most of the people keep it hidden. Deep under a million layers of fake happiness. 

A state in which the sufferer deals with the condition, but also tries to hold down a solid job, live his life and maintain healthy relationships with them.

If there’s anyone who understands what sacrifice really means better than these people, I really want to know.

Because, if you ask me, these individuals are true warriors. To struggle with depression, and be able to get out of bed, put a smile on your face and live your life just like any other person is something truly difficult. And quite the challenge.

You could say they have a smiling depression. They don’t mind being positive and cheerful around people. Because having depression doesn’t necessarily mean that a person should spend their whole life crying and hiding from the world.

But, even though their severe condition will never manifest on their appearance, they will never agree to talk about their depression. They might speak publically in order to help people in need, but when it comes to them, silence is their best friend.

They have spent most of their time bottling up their perplexing feelings. But, mostly because of one crucial reason. No matter how many people offer to help, barely anyone has the strength and knowledge to talk about their daunting emptiness. So, that is why lies and fake happiness sometimes seem like a good idea.

Their surface might get you to think that they are cheerful, bubbly, and enthusiastic individuals. But, one thing you’ll never know is their real soul. With all its emptiness, all the tears, all the sleepless nights that turned into mornings. The entire pain they have experienced over the years.

They might look like they don’t have a single care in the world, but in reality, they haven’t eaten for half a week. You tell them how happy they actually look, but inside their minds, their response is “Oh, if you could only know what happens inside my chest”.

Because depression is a dark, ominous cloud over their heads that keeps on raining and raining. It creeps in when they least expect it and it silently waits for something good to happen, just so it can ruin it. A numbing feeling, faded memories, cloudy judgments, plain emptiness. All at once.

The only people who would ever understand their struggle are the human beings that once fought the same war as them. Only they know what it feels like to put on a mask every single day.

Because it is hard for them to reveal the scary truth. Not that they’d care if anyone judges them, but because it will all be in vain. Nobody will understand their pain. Nobody will be there to listen to what their sadness feels like.

If you are one of them, know this. You are extremely brave and strong person. You’ve been through a lot, you fell down hundreds of times, but kept picking yourself up.

You smiled, even though your heart ached. You laughed, even though your insides bled.

In my opinion that is something only the most courageous people have.

But, please, if you need help, don’t hesitate to ask for it. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone. It is okay to be vulnerable. It is perfectly fine to be lost.

Just don’t forget to seek your guidance.

Stephanie Reeds


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