2020-2021 - Where Have I Been? Grab The Tea Huns 🍵

by Nikki LLL Blog, January 31, 2021

Lol if you've clicked on this expecting pure goss, you're about to be as disappointed as I am every time I check my bank & realise I'm still not a millionaire. However, if you're here for the ranting and tea, HIHIHI let's be m8s. 

I haven't meant to be quite so terrible at keeping up with blog posts and social media over the past year or so. I really haven't. My channels have suffered due to my lack of posting - and I've dropped followers faster than Imma be droppin' it like it's hot as soon as we're allowed to hit the club dancefloors again. I've lost relationships with brands, PRs and similar contacts. I've been snipped firmly off many a PR list, and probs blacklisted from a fair few too. Loooooool.

Past me would have been devoed. But past me was carefree and hadn't been absolutely bummed by the pandemic no-one saw coming (well... I'm not gonna get into the conspiracy theories here, but yeah.) Past me also had terrible eyebrows. And tbh, present tense me isn't much better in the brow dept either.

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The past 12 months have been a shower of raging hot sh*t. Let's not try and polish a turd here, huns. Everything's been horrible. I've been super, super busy working as hard as I can to power through it all. My main income isn't my blog or my social channels - and (just like with non-essential travel) non-essential activities (such as posting a pretty pic of a lipstick I've been enjoying or jumping on IG stories for a natter)  / things I once enjoyed, have all sorta gone out the window. And then into a sinkhole, absorbed into Middle Earth to chill with Golem and tha.

The other day, I got an email from a company (I'm not gonna be pyar naming and 'exposing' them, cos I'm not here for that) saying that 'as I hadn't made any sales for them for a couple of months, they were kicking me off their PR list.' And that's fine

But it got me thinking. Why haven't I made sales? I could have - and have made sales - in the past. And you know why I haven't? It's been because to me personally, it just hasn't felt right, huns. I stand by that, and my decision to not try and aggressively push sales / affiliate code the sh*t out of everyone whilst people are dying and losing their jobs, homes and families in a pandemic. 

If it was my full-time job - or if it's a project I'm being paid for; fair. Will do, sir. But 

a) there's more to PR & blogger outreach than purely sales & monetary gain (such as increased brand awareness, exposure in different postcodes / regions etc) - and realistically, I could have generated sales that were put through without using my code. I don't think that can be used as the only metric of 'success.'

Some people hate codes. Some people forget. Some people see the picture, see the company the item is from and go straight to their website to order; rather than fannying around reading the caption for codes. Some people see the code and think f*ck youuuuu blogger, am not helping you using that code so deliberately purchase without. And all of those things are fine.

b) we're in a pandemic. I'm fighting to survive. You're fighting to survive. It doesn't sit right with me to be pushing sales and codes during a time where so many of us are suffering financially. These items aren't essential. They're fab and I love / enjoy everything I post about - but I personally don't feel comfortable pushing content created to PURELY PUSH SALES onto my followers during this time. I'll post on my blog. I'll post on the Gram. I'll do paid work and I will (eventually!) post about gifted content on socials / my blog - and I'll give my honest opinion on it / my all. But feeling like I have to make people buy things in order to be allowed on a PR list - during a time where people are losing their jobs, their homes, their lives, their family members... just isn't for me. 

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I love creating content. I love social media. I love photography, design, writing, beauty. But I know I'm not alone in just not feeling like it of late. Have I lost my mojo? Yeah, probably. Am I a miserable old bag? 100% hun. But do I have the energy to post like I was during 2018-2019 blogging? NOT ON UR LIFE M8

I'm aware this sounds like I'm just pure whining on like a lil bitch and possibly directing shade at other creators - but whilst I am a lil bitch, I'm not subtweeting anyone here. I'm pretty direct, I'd tell you if I was. I fully respect those who continue to make content, who continue to consistently deliver. The ones I see on my feeds each day who I admire. The ones who make me wanna buy stuff - despite the pandemic. I applaud you - and your beautiful content. I just haven't felt like I've been able to join you guys on this. 

I haven't got dressed in weeks - I can't even remember what bras are like... there's no way I've been in a position to pop onto stories and have a chat, when I look like a crackhead 99.9% of the time (the other 0.01% being where I look like the antichrist crossed with Gail Platt from Corrie.)

There's so much I wanna do online. On my channels. And elsewhere. I wanna create videos, I wanna WRITE, I wanna take on fun new assignments and I wanna make a difference. But you know what, it's okay to not be on your A-game right now. I'm not

And that's where I've been; focussing my all into my career and the businesses I work with in my job. Working on myself. Working on my skillset and my goals - trying to make the most out of our current situation by learning as much as I can and delivering as much as I can for those I work with. Staying at home, swerving the Rona and following the rules. Praying for this all to be over soon - and that we don't have to lose thousands more lives in the meantime. Also, getting angry about stuff on Twitter - as well as crying over cat pics on there. 

So if you choose to stick around and follow me - thanks huns, you're proper fit. But if not, that's fine too. All that matters right now is that we follow the rules, stay at home and take care of each other. I'm a bit of a bellend, I'm not for everyone. And that's fine, if you wanna unfollow me, go 'ed lad. I will be back, I am still here, I am still working on content and I do have some amazing ideas for the upcoming months. 

But that's me for now!

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