Thursday, 18 May 2017

Being Different And Why I Embrace It





I'm very different to most people my age. I'm 18, yet the idea of going on a night out or to any sort of party to get absolutely smashed of my face and feel awful the next morning is my worst nightmare. I don't drink, I'm not looking for any kind of relationship and I have bright pink hair. I know I am different and I love it. I embrace it. There is only one me and I should be the best version of myself that I can be. 

I've often been told that I am very mature for my age. I am. I honestly think I'm 30 most of the time. I've had to grow up very quickly and now I feel ahead of my years. I would much rather spend my time working on projects, my blog or college work then going out. My work ethic, if I say so myself is crazy. I can't remember the last time I had a break away from everything. (Social media is still working if you are a blogger) Maybe this is a bad thing. It probably is but it's just the way I'm programmed. 

However, not only am I different because of my personality, style and attitudes to life, I also struggle with my mental health. Although I struggle with lots of different mental illnesses, the main one which made me noticeably different was and still is OCD. I was that girl always wearing long sleeves, even in the summer. I'm that girl at college who would always wipe the table down first with an anti-bac wipe and never take her gloves off. 

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Panic attacks. When I am at a heightened state of anxiety I can do some weird stuff. I cry and shake uncontrollably. I leave the classroom with no warning. I'm not myself and even though I know that my friends know that and so does anyone else who has ever experienced a panic attack, there are still people that don't.

Having OCD and quite frequent panic attacks in college, made me stand out. It made me different and people noticed. Some people don't like people that are different. Maybe they think I'm doing it for attention or maybe they are scared of me. Lol. I'm not scary, I promise. Whatever the reason, I say to them " Screw you" 

I like being different. Okay, I would not wish OCD or any mental illness upon anyone ever and I certainly don't want to have a mental illness. It is part of me. It's part of who I am. Not everyone is going to understand and that is okay because for every person who doesn't understand there are at least two people that do. 

Don't get me wrong, being different is easy, trying to embrace it is the hard part. We all want to be different but it's so much easier to get swept into societies norms and expectations. We do things because we think we are supposed to. Like somewhere along the line we signed a contract that said I will do whatever society wants me to. I must obey. NAH! Sod that! Be you, babe!

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OCD and struggling with my mental health is a massive part of who I am. Without it, I wouldn't be able to write this blog, do my volunteering projects or help the thousands of people that I do by talking so openly and honestly about my mental health. I use the pain and struggles I have been through in a positive way. I dedicate my life to supporting and helping other people with mental health problems. If I tried to 'fit in' and be the same as everyone else I would never be able to achieve this.

The thing is that most people want to be someone else. They try and fit in with a crowd that's not really them. If you look at yourself right now, you are probably wearing something because that is what's ' on trend' at the moment or you watch a certain TV show because you want to fit in and stay in the loop. I'm not saying this is wrong but is it an accurate reflection of you? 

If you have a top that is out of fashion but you still love it, WEAR IT! You have an interest in cheeses or aliens, YOU TALK ABOUT IT! If you love Bollywood music but everyone loves pop music, YOU LISTEN TO WHAT YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO! 

Life is way too short to 'fit in'. Be different and embrace it. There is and only ever will be one of you.

Be a flamingo in a world of pigeons. 

I would love to know your thoughts on being different. Do you embrace being different or do you find it hard? Let me know, in the comments below! 

Thanks for reading, as always X 

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