Review: Blessing the Hogs

Blessing the Hogs
“The Poisoning”
(Good Fellow Records)

Fuck it.  I’ve fucking had it.

Blessing the stupid fucking Hogs is another fucking death metal band with various elements in their god damn song writing that make them unique from other stupid fucking death metal bands that also have little flourishes and other interesting bullshit touches that set them apart from other death metal bands like Blessing the Hogs.  Blessing the shit-eating, asshole licking Hogs populate their debut album with many cool time changes, riffs that’d make S.O.D.’s mama proud and jolting full stops and starts that’d send shivers up and down the spines of unrehearsed musicians everywhere.  But is it enough?  Is it ever e-fucking-nough?
Yes, in their case it is damn well enough.  I like it.  It’s good fucking shit, but I’ve still fucking had it.

I’ve fucking had it and it’s not because of the music, it’s not because of the lyrics or the vocals or production or anything that remotely involves whatever pleasure this band’s music may or may not give to my ears.  My problem is the damn CD artwork.
“Why, Dick, what problem could you possibly have with the CD art?” you ask.

“The stupid fucking guns,” I answer.  I am so fucking sick of gun glorification.  I don’t care if you’re some scary death metal band or ultra-badass Hardcore punks who have your homies backs and don’t take no fucking shit from no fucking body.  You’re all big pussies and you can jam your guns straight the fuck up them.  If you deny being pussies then give your gun a home up the old nether-eye; you’ll come as the bullet pierces your big manly prostate.