Donald Trump Jr. Majestically Plays Himself By Frolicking Around in an Actual Swamp

Taking the bait runs deep in the Trump family bloodline; a trait nearly as essential to their existence as the family’s trademark rat smirks. It seems like Donald “Big Daddy” Jr. has been duped yet again, this time into plunging into a literal swamp.


Everyone knows the best way to get a Trump to do something is to tell them they bet they won’t do it. I don’t know who masterminded this perfect visual, but congrats to whoever it was: You are the true Resistance.

As you know, Big Daddy and his girlfriend, Mama, were in Louisiana over the weekend raising money for Louisiana Attorney General Jeff Landry. Part of the festivities included gator hunting with House Majority Whip Steve Scalise, but another, equally important part involved getting played really, really hard.

“This is what happens when someone bets me a good sum that there’s no way that the guy from New York City would swim in a gator infested swamp/bayou down in Louisiana,” Jr., without any apparent irony, captioned the photo. “Easy money!!!”

Since Donnie seems to have survived his foray into the bayou without getting his genitals bitten off by alligators, is he still open to more “easy money”? Hey Don—sorry, Big Daddy! I bet a guy from New York City wouldn’t poop in a golf bag! I bet he wouldn’t send us his dad’s pee tapes! I bet he wouldn’t burn down the entire administration from the inside!

In the interest of fairness, this offer will stand until after the giardia has run its course.


Does he have even the remotest idea that the verdant surface of that water may represent eutrophication caused by fertilizer runoff from the industrial farming his family seems to endorse without understanding?