Bin Laden Deserves A Hefty Fine, Says Cherie Blair

OSAMA Bin Laden would find himself at the sharp end of a £200 fine if he was tried in a British court, Cherie Blair said last night.

'Eee! Ah fookin' love God me'

Mrs Blair, who is actually a judge now, said the mass murderer would feel the full force of the law as it applied to people who believe in freaky sky magic and a massive, omnipotent super-being with glowing eyes and a beard the size of Texas.

She said: "Commissioning the murders of thousands of people is something I generally frown upon, especially when it is done by agnostics and so-called 'scientists'.

"But Mr Bin Laden at least believes most of the same things that I believe and knows that an all-powerful creator is watching over us, preventing wars and natural disasters with his all-embracing love and making sure complete maniacs aren't appointed to the bench in what is supposed to be a civilised country."

Mrs Blair stressed that until he started organising a systematic campaign of devastating suicide attacks against western targets, Mr Bin Laden had never been in trouble before.

She added: "Recruiting hundreds of disillusioned young men and training them to become mass killers is not acceptable behaviour, but he's a religious man and so obviously he already knows that.

"I would probably fine Mr Bin Laden £200, maybe even £300 if his QC was one of those posh bastards that turned me down before I met Tony.

"I'd let him pay it off at £7.50 a week, but it really depends on his other commitments.

"How much are bombs and stuff these days?"