Friday, September 3, 2010

La Pizzeria: "La Pizzeria es muy mal."

I've been passing by La Pizzeria for a while now and I've always wondered about what was going on there. There is a capitalization error on the awning, so it looks like it says "LA Pizzeria" and I've always ridden by on mi bicicleta and wondered why the hell a pizza place in Murray Hill would call their establishment LA Pizzeria. I feel like I have been both traveling and eating pizza for most of my life and I've never heard of LA having especially decent pizza or even a pizza style of their own. In other words, this place has always intrigued and appalled me.

I told Clancy as much as we walked here together, and when we got inside, we noticed that everywhere but the awning said "La Pizzeria" with proper capitalization. So it was just another crappy Spanish pizza place! At least there was nothing new for me to contend with here and at least "LA Style Pizza" still doesn't exist, at least until someone makes a slice that looks perfect from afar because the cheese has been injected with bee poison, but then when you get up close you realize that it doesn't actually move and is really unsettling.

This slice was bad. It tasted like it was from a bowling alley, or from a box in the freezer section at the super market or something. The cheese was horrible, like weird texture, weird taste, totally just this shitty dead zone plastic flavor vortex. The sauce was like if someone dyed corn syrup t00-bright red and put some v8 in it. The crust was that weird spongy gas station texture and it had that pattern on the bottom from when they cook it on one of those stupid round window screens. No good. I have been trying to find the words to describe the fact that even though pizza like this sucks, I still love it, and Clancy said it really succinctly when we were eating this slice. He told me, "the cool thing about pizza is that shitty pizza is just a different kind of food that is still good food." And he has a point. Unless we're talking about the pizza in Florida, which is across the board disgusting.


La Pizzeria - $2.25
442 3rd Ave (30th & 31st)
New York, NY 10016


  1. why do people use those screen things? maybe this is confusing causation with correlation or some shit but it seems like using that shit makes your shit suck. or at least anyone that uses it makes shitty pizza.

  2. I agree with Clancy about shitty pizza. I've always said that about this midwestern chain, Imo's Pizza. Instead of pizza, I prefer to call it "Superbowl Snack." Anyway, I moved cross country from Brooklyn to Portland, and I miss the pizza more than anything. People here ask me about NY pizza, and if it's really that great. I tell them it is, but for me the thing about NY pizza is that you rarely need to walk more than a couple blocks for a pretty good slice. Great blog.