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                                                Welcome to Zach's wiki page!


                                         math is awesome!

6th survey data

  how I spend my time 



Dream car:$$$1,985,719 ($1.98 mil) 


Realistic car:$21,083 ($379 a month for 60 months.)





                       Operation Cagebreak: Mantises Menagerie


                                                            By:Zachary Reulbach






it was five o’clock in mantis city, when the bush Joey the praying mantis was on tremendously shook. it shook again. and again, and again. Then, a giant, gruesome, 100 insect inch tall monster clambered into view. A glass box with plastic bars at the top was dangling in his hand. The mantis city alarm went off, a hundred grasshoppers chirping. The alarm sound got louder as more grasshoppers exponentially joined in. the alarm droned on as mantises, katydids, and grasshoppers flew out of mantis city. Joey tried to fly, but he hadn’t hit puberty yet. He cowered as the monster came closer. He stood there, paralyzed with fear. He tried to move, but his muscles wouldn't listen as the monsters big beady eyes were staring right at him. it felt like the monster was staring right into his soul. Like it could smell his fear, which Joey, at this point had a lot of, as the monsters hand started coming towards him.




Joey was on the branch,sitting there when the hand reached him. He cringed, thinking the monster would crush him. But the hand merely became a flat surface at the base of his feet. The freak monster wanted to hold Joey! Joey refused, he plain out refused. So the monster forced Joey into his hand by grabbing him. He threw Joey into the glass jail and snapped the lid shut. By the time the pillice(pill bugs that were the police in the bush) arrived, Joey was a goner.






Joey slid from one side of the container to the other and hit it with soft THUD as it swung in the monsters wake. When the monster arrived at his dwelling, Joey’s face put on a awestruck expression. The place was massive!it had a giant glass dome at the top some hundred feet up. There was tables set up with terrariums on top of them. Each cage had  5 locks and a alarm. Joey thought to himself, I will be of no power to get out of here. The monster deposited him into a cage with a heavily attractive female praying mantis. He flew at the wire mesh and only resulted in get smushed into a insect pancake. He wondered if the female had seen. He got up to a boisterous laughing. And in the corner was the world’s fattest SLUG. A slug! That was going to be a tasty meal. And he hadn’t eaten in forever... He decided to  close in on that fat SLUG. Joey licked his mandibles. He was closing in when a rather arrogant voice exclaimed, “You know I can see you. You are exactly a stealth ninja due to that extremely stupid exhibition you just showed.”The slug was talking to him! Joey could not believe whatever praying mantises use to hear!




Joey recovered from shock that the fat behemoth of a mollusk just spoke to him. “Ya that’s right,” the slug went on, “You don’t expect a awesome slimeball like me to talk to your ugliness, did you?” Joey charged at the slug in pure rage. All of the sudden the slug said “STOP!” Joey froze in mid air but then fell to the floor because everybody knows freezing in midair is impossible. “What?” Joey said, clearly annoyed. “Do you like slime?” the slug asked. “No.” Joey stammered. Joey’s tastebuds were tingling. “Do you want to get out of here?” the slug asked. “Yes.” Joey said, though he didn’t get this slugs point of view. “Then you want no piece of Marco!” the slug exclaimed with great dignity. “What’s a Marco?” Joey asked. “It’s me! I’m Marco the Slug, and I will get you out of here!” “How?” Joey wandered aloud.


I’ll tell you how, now just lean in closer. And with that team Marco and joey devised a plan.




“You’re not the smartest praying mantis on the block, are you?” Marco asked. “Let’s just get devising.”Joey said. “Devising what?” said a voice in the above branches.Joey looked up and saw the female praying mantis looking down on them. “N-N-n-nothing.” Joey stuttered. “Oh, don’t hide anything, I just heard everything you guys just whispered. The fat slug is rather loud, no offense.” “None taken” Marco said, embarrassed. Then Joey heard something his ears barely registered. The female expressed, “My name is Catherine,and I want in.”


   Plans for phase one


Marco explained to the team how the plan was to be carried through. Every 5 minutes a cricket egg constantly comes down a tube. That tube is key. Marco would slide through and up in the 5 min time between egg drop. He would pick the lock with his tail. Then the alarm would go off. Due to Marco’s spy surveillance they got the code. Joey would then punch in the code and close the unlocked hatch so when the monster came over it would look like nothing had happened. Except stuff had happened. Then Joey would open the hatch when the monster left. Marco and Joey would slide on the Catherines back and fly out the broken doggie-door. But  that isn’t it.


Plans for phase two


Joey knew that It would be suspected that they were missing and a price would be put on their heads. So they had to come up with a after plan. A phase two. When they arrived at mantis city they would have  to think fast before they were noticed missing. So they made a phase two. Joey and Marco would go to the mantis prison and get a male and female praying mantis criminal. Catherine would go back into the monsters house and fly back to mantis city with the glass prison. They would secure the criminals inside. They would hitch a ride on the glass prison while Catherine flew it back to the monsters house. They would put the criminal mantises into the terrarium and re-lock it. Quickly they would fly to mantis city on Catherines back. Then Joey asked, “So we’re all variables in this equation.”It was foolproof. Or was it?


       Operation Cagebreak


Nothing could’ve went worse than what happened during the plan. So it starts out great. But when Marco was going up the food tube, the monster put a cricket egg in manually! It came tumbling towards Marco, dumbfounded. So Marco did the only thing he could to stay alive. He ate it. Then he slid out of the cage just as the 5 minutes just passed. Then he slid over and into the lock. But then Marco found out that his tail was too soft. Joey thought, no! Though Marco was a clever slug. He started eating the lock with his sharp radulas. After a while the lock broke and a electric whine(alarm?) started up. It was Joey’s time to shine.He crawled up the side and pushed open the hatch and typed in 1234 Enter. Yes! The electric whine stopped, but Joey saw a terrifying sight before him. 5 yards away was the monster. But to simplify it, 15 feet away! He crawled up to the hatch. 10 feet… opened the hatch 5 feet… Joey got in and closed it. That was a close call. The monster left and Joey and Marco climbed on Catherine’s back. They whisked out the hatch to and through the doggie door. They got to Mantis city. They also just evaluated to phase two.


      Operation Cagebreak: Phase Two


They got off Catherine’s back and onto a nearby leaf. Then marco climbed on Joey’s back. Catherine flew back to the monster’s house. When she arrived, she spotted the glass prison. She tried, but it was to heavy for her. She grabbed a smaller one, thanking the insect god for her help. She just hoped The criminal mantises would fit. She flew back to mantis city. joey and Marco had the same bad luck. They asked the guard, and he asked, “Do yer have er permission slip?” “No they answered. But Joey was fast. He knocked the guard out with some mantisjitsu and grabbed the keys. He unlocked the cages to one male and female praying mantis just as Catherine arrived. They locked up the  fugitives in the glass prison and flew back to the Monsters’ house. This was it. when they arrived they found their terrarium and opened it. They substituted the criminals and fixed the lock. They were free! But Joey felt sad. All these insects locked up… The keys! they were lying on the counter! He felt a new sensation. He could fly! Under no terms would he let the insects stay captive. He flew over and snatched up the keys.




Joey flew around like mad opening door after hatch after door Soon all the insects were free! He looked around as every insect possible flew, crawled, jumped, and slid out the doggie door. They left the alarms and keys and the monster’s house in their wake. Soon they arrived at Mantis City. Joey was a hero!


The happy endings


Joey settled down and took Catherine as a mate. They lived as heroes in Mantis city. They also had 100 strong mantis baby nymphs. But by the time they hatched, Joey’s head was long gone!


The End!








Base-is the number that is being repeatedly multiplied


exponentially-is repeated multiplication


expression-Numbers, symbols, and operators grouped together that show the value of something


power-is how many times you repeat the base


constant-is a number on its own, it never changes


variables-A letter that represents a value and can change


(Algebraic)Equation-A statement that the values of two mathematical expressions are equal indicated by an equal sign


simplify-to put a number in its basic form


substitute-is when you take something out and put something in


terms-a number or a variable


evaluate-to find the value



Comments (12)

Julie Reulbach said

at 7:46 pm on Oct 20, 2013

Hahahaha! Your math jokes are hilarious! I love the dead body and the diabetes ones. I've never seen them before! :)

Alex Reulbach said

at 3:51 pm on Oct 22, 2013

nice story

Alex Reulbach said

at 3:51 pm on Oct 22, 2013

i hoped joey had a longer life

Angus E said

at 4:47 pm on Oct 22, 2013

I promise I will never take a chocolate cake from you!

Hank Grzeszczak said

at 5:10 pm on Oct 22, 2013

i the same as angus

Zach Reulbach said

at 11:20 am on Oct 23, 2013

what does that mean?

Zach Reulbach said

at 11:21 am on Oct 23, 2013

oh. the picture. I thought you that i was angus

Jack Hager said

at 5:19 pm on Oct 22, 2013

Great story. Your pictures are hilarious too. :)

Dina Clemente said

at 6:54 pm on Oct 28, 2013

Oh my gosh! That x joke; I have almost the same one!

Amelia Wyatt said

at 10:02 pm on Oct 28, 2013

Crazy awesome story! pictures are funny

Campbell Lindquist said

at 7:19 pm on Jan 22, 2014

Don"t you have to add a Horizontal line before you add the cars, so its at the bottom?

Andrew Ayer said

at 11:42 pm on Feb 4, 2014

Can I I have two cakes, please?

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