Friday, October 1, 2010


Did you know you can feel terribly alone in a crowd? or be lonely in a relationship?
Loneliness is sly, it doesn't announce itself like some long lost creeps into your life.
If you find your self staring into a computer screen, looking at nothing, reading and not comprehending a story, watching tv mindlessly, aimlessly walking about there is probably some loneliness in your life.

I think there is a lot of loneliness in our lives, and we try to fill it with mindless activities. We live fast track lives, we go in opposite directions, it is too hard to share feelings, and relationships take work. Loneliness comes at the end of a good day and you want to share, or at the end of bad day and you need a hug or a shoulder to lean on.......and no one's there, or maybe someone is there physically just not emotionally.

Loneliness can thrive in a house full of people, all going full speed ahead. It can hit you at the top of your game or when you are digging yourself out of a deep dark hole.
I think from listening to my students sometimes, there must be an epidemic of loneliness in our country. Why is it so hard to connect with each other, why so many barriers? I believe many times it comes down to priorities. We rush about placing importance on so many "things" never realizing the people in our lives may be fading into oblivion. Becoming invisible is a major symptom of loneliness.

Loneliness can destroy self-esteem, it can haunt and sicken, I think it kills. These are just my thoughts, but I think it can began in babies. When they are not hugged, and comforted, when they cry and no one picks them up and holds them close. I think it festers in latch key kids that are left alone day after day until mom and dad get home from work. It grows in teenagers when they are awkward and geeky. It overwhelms adults because maybe it is just not acceptable to admit that you are lonely.

At some point or another, most of us have been lonely, and most of the time, we shrug it off and continue on our way. For some it continues to lurk in the corners, waiting for those weak moments, maybe you eat a bag of potato chips, or a pint of ice cream, or drink a couple of bottles of wine or a six pack of beer. And then the next day, you hate yourself for giving in, for drowning in the loneliness.

So for me, when I am lonely, I try to call a friend or meet someone for lunch. We all are different, our coping skills are different too. Loneliness ........ a pretty word to sing, written about countless times, but a mother to experience.

1 comment:

  1. I think the reason we can feel lonely in a house full of people is that we feel no one listens to or understands us. There is too much judging going on in families, and not enough listening. People are also so busy that they don't take time to really be with one another. Instead of watching TV, if we could all just spend one hour a day talking and listening I think there would be less lonliness.