SIMPLY BRETHREN: Finding the right words can be difficult



Travel with me in memory to the musical play, "My Fair Lady", for the first line singing of “Words, words, I’m so sick of words.”

As we remember, the Fair Lady was being tutored in the fine art of becoming a lady of society, by becoming proficient in her use of suitable words. Finding appropriate words will continue to be a challenge for all of us as we seek to impress, be understood and influence our personal worlds.

The biblical author, John, in the book by his same name, starts right off with “In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God.” For believers, that puts considerable importance to the word "word’"and implies impending communication to be in store.

New parents seldom waste time, from the moment single syllables come from their baby’s lips, to encourage the speaking of "mama" or "dada". And parental encouragement comes through smiles and soothing sounds as parents look forward to communication with the new human in their home.


Words have tremendous value in our interactions with others, and possess significant power as well. I have the belief that if we considered our words as currency in limited quantity, we would be much more conscious of how we would "spend" our words.

We might be more conscious of our selections of words, considering how they would likely be received, understood and interpreted. We remember the game "gossip", where a phrase is whispered around a circle. It’s fascinating to see how inaccurately the phrase ends up at the end of the circle. It’s why, on starting a sentence of concern on a prayer chain, we try to keep it simple, enabling the concern to be accurately conveyed right up to the last person on the chain.

When our significant relationships are important, we generally aim to be kind in our spending of words. I was recently in a group that explored chapters in a book, “Keep it Shut”.

We discovered how "letting it all hang out" frequently resulted in unintended ruptured relationships that could have been avoided, if we had "kept it shut." The author, Joyce Myers, stated, “Our words can encourage or discourage; they can be constructive or destructive; they can help people feel better or make them feel worse. The tongue is a very small part of the body but it can have a tremendous impact.”


Though we seldom consider it, words can often sound like what they mean.

Poets understand this. When describing a flowing river, softer words are used that aren’t splattered with plosives like ds, ps, and ts. Words with soothing letters as ss, vs, and rs seem to help the reader see and hear the river more clearly.

Take the word "bump". Can’t you just feel being jostled in your bike or car as you go over one as you say the word? Or say the word "heal". Can’t you feel the soothing healing start? Funny how just the sound of words can send an effect.


Some words are just plain fun. I recall when I first heard the word "efficacy". It means having a significant effect. And doesn’t the word, efficacy, sound like it’s making a difference? The word, "segue" has that same effect. Doesn’t the word itself have a connecting feeling?

I’m really careful not to even use the word "politics" when conversing, as I can be pretty sure it will have a negative response in the person to whom I’m speaking. In fact, the word itself sounds like a fight is going on, even though the true meaning is just the opposite.

But the most fun word I learned recently, and am trying yet to remember, is heterophony. A friend told me it means having one word in mind but discovering that another word comes out one’s mouth. How fascinating that a malady that I’ve discovered happening to me actually has a name. It must be somewhat universal. Now I wonder if that unusual word ever slips out unintentionally. I doubt it. But it is a fun word!


We believe words to be necessary, but there are those who don’t have the capacity for words. At those times, frequently the body language has to be the means for communication. Among persons with significant cognitive deficits, caregivers who truly care for them learn, through their body language, certain understandings of their needs.

There are times in our lives when it’s difficult to find appropriate words to convey our caring. I had a friend who was fluent in hugging. Her empathy was obvious through her empathetic hugs when they were needed. Fortunately there were many who benefitted from her wordless hugs.


Not everyone cares for poetry, but all of us send get well cards and other greeting cards containing poems.

I maintain there are two types of poets: those who write for everyday folks, and those who write for other poets. Anyone can understand the poems written for everyday folks, but fewer are those who can interpret the poems meant to be appreciated by other poets.

When attending, online, a graduation speech by Jim Daniels at Alma College recently, I listened and took notes for possible usage in my writing. I quote him here. “When we extend the hand of poetry, we hope someone will take it in the same way we need to offer it. When we extend our hand, it’s our example of our humanity.”

It would be well, if we could believe that our speech frequently is an example of our humanity. We probably would be more careful how we spend our words. What do you think?

Janet Stroup is a longtime community member from Brethren. She has an interest in Brethren history and has been writing the Simply Brethren column for over 20 years. She can be reached at


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