discipline your child

7 Ways to Discipline your Child without Provoking them

Discipline is a substantial key when raising your child. The forms of discipline determine how the child’s attitude will come out once he grows up.

Many parents around the world discipline their children according to how their own parents disciplined them.

Parents and guardians should stop this mistake. We should discipline in the smartest way such that the child learns from their mistake and not provoking them at the same time.

Scripture Perspective on “Discipline your Child without Provoking them”

Let’s look at some scriptures from the Bible about child discipline: Ephesians. 6:4 (English Standard Version)


Let’s also look at another key verse from Colossians 3:21 (English Standard Version)


As you will notice, the writer of the verses refers to Fathers, but it should not escape the reader that the verses are addressing both parents.

So whether you are a mother or a father, you can learn how to discipline your child without provoking them.

Are their times your child was angry at you because you provoked them? What did you do to cause the provocation? Children, in certain times, are justified in having a holy anger towards us.

I justify holy in the sense that they are mad at you, their parent.

Provoking your child will only accumulate to stressful days when the child grows up. I will guide you through some key steps on how to discipline your child without provoking them.

1) Have realistic expectations

Parents and Guardians tend to expect too much from their children. For example, the child may not be superior at academic works but excellent in playing football. The parent will always pressure the child to perform well in academic work and at times punish the child severely for having poor grades. This is a crucial part where most parents fail to put much concern. The child will undergo a series of scolding by the parent. After some time, he will feel provoked. This is where his/ her discipline tends to depreciate. The more the child will be provoked, especially at a young age he/ she will gain hatred upon the parent and may lead to a catastrophe.


The parent should have realistic expectations in that, if the child is not doing well in school, or any task given, a more formidable way of discipline should be used. The parent should also not punish the child for unreachable expectations but rather have a positive attitude towards the child and offer moral support. Set expectations that the child may achieve and with time increase the level of expectations. You will notice that the child will gain appropriate discipline and will not be provoked

2) Avoid Constantly bringing out Faults

Children have a belief that their parents give them absolute love. When they are young, you as a parent should avoid rebuking them for every mistake they make. They will obviously get angry then feel provoked. If the faults keep on being brought up, the child will somehow start losing the unconditional love that he/she once had for the parent. The child will be angry and aggravated. As a parent, you should gain a positive form of criticism for the faults caused by the child. Having a positive way of disciplining the child will also avoid seeing petty mistakes and bringing up faults all the time.

3) Choose your Battles Wisely

As a parent, you should not always pick out minor arguments with your child all the time. For example, you set a curfw, and the child comes home late.

You will get mad and punish the child. These small battles should be addressed in more of an affirmative manner.

Issue out a warning if the child fails to maintain discipline. If he/she does it for the second time, have a small talk. If the issue is repeated consistently, then the appropriate way is to combine efforts with both parents and some of your friends.

It may seem like intimidating the child but in the end, the child will learn from their mistake. Picking battles with them most of the time is just provoking their reputation and diminishing their discipline.

5) Comparing your child to others is a way of provoking them

Your child may seem not to fit in terms of many activities, which other children tend to do well than them.

By doing so you will feel obliged to pressure your child to become like the other kids. This is a common mistake among many parents at this age.

The parent will end up thinking that by putting pressure on the child is a way of motivating them. It provokes the child and he/she ends up losing their discipline morals.

As a parent, identify what the child does best and it can be unique from what you compare with other kids.

By doing so, the child will have a motivation to achieve his or her goals and also maintain high standards of discipline.

6) Think about the outcome of provoking your child

If you pick on your child all the time, what are the consequences?  The child will feel irrational. As a parent, you may think you are giving them discipline, but the child in the actual sense is gaining nothing from the correction.

Think of an outcome that may have a positive impact on the child.

As much as you want to discipline your child, you also want to establish a strong relationship with the kid.

So having to think about the outcome will aid to avoid provoking the child and maintain high standards of discipline.

7) Be calm before dealing with a discipline issue

Cases of parents beating their children giving them severe injuries and also children injuring their parents have been common recently.

A parent picks out an argument with the child, this provokes the child they end up committing a crime.

It is so sad for such an image to be displayed because of provoking the child. If a discipline issue pops up, do not start spanking the child. Listen to his or her story of what made them become indiscipline.

After listening, have a civilized way of communication and don’t raise your voice to an extent you piss the child off.

By doing so, you will have disciplined the child by using appropriate communication skills hence avoiding a catastrophe.

Wrapping it Up

Using an ideal form to discipline your child without provoking them as a parent is very important.

According to the Bible verses in Colossians and Ephesians, discipline and instruction are necessary without provocation.

The child has a sensitive way of responding to things. For discipline matters, parents must have a formidable way of ensuring the child has lofty standards of discipline.

Also, maintain a positive attitude in their minds. The child will grow up having high standards of discipline and fewer chances of being provoked by anyone. 

Leave a Comment