In relationship, Living life

Is it in your head or in your . . . What’s up with Sex?

My name is Ronovan and how did I get here and get talked into this subject? Florence gets a little busy in her world and she looks to me and says, “Hey, want to do a guest blog for me?”

“Sure, what do you want me to talk about?” I ask all innocently thinking it would be a poem or something. You know, trusting my friend Florence would go with my strengths. Nope.Man_Worried_Face_Reference_by_ahtibat_stock

“How about . . . is virtual sex comparable to physical sex and you can run with it however you like?”

There went my agree first ask later policy. You know I help out when people get busy with life and can’t do their Blog World the way they would like. So here I am talking about . .  .

Virtual Sex versus Physical Sex: Which one is more fulfilling?

I actually searched to see what there was on this subject in comparison of the uncomfortable topics in order to make my life easier. I didn’t click on what came up. I’ll just leave it at that. For some reason I didn’t really think those sites were going to give an unbiased opinion. So what did that leave me with? My vast experience in both realms? Yeah, right. I don’t think comic books are going to cover this one. But even with all of that against me I have one thing to say . . .

challenge_acceptedI think what we need to think about is how sex is fulfilling for each of us.

  • Is it that physical sensation that is the goal
  • Is there a game played such as a feeling of conquest
  • Is it a feeling of being emotionally connected in some way

I am sure there are plenty of other possibilities but those are the ones that come to mind as somewhat stereotypical ideas. Okay, so maybe I don’t know what the stereotypes are but I’m here.

Let’s take this from the physical sensation aspect.

For many this will seem a clear winner in the Physical Reality Sexual Relationship (PRSR). Hold your chaps. If Physical Sex is so sexually satisfying then why do some barney-stinson_just_awesoresort to things such as cuttings during sex in order to feel something more, something that sex itself is not providing? There are clubs you can go to and learn how to do this safely. I’m not going to get into all of that, you can do your own searches.

So how about Virtual, as in online relationships. I will go ahead and define a Virtual Sex Relationship (VSR) in this particular article as referring to people online who are in an actual relationship but are just not in the physical presence of the other and possibly have never actually met.

Can a VSR achieve fulfillment in a physical sensation way. Well I suppose that all depends on what the individuals are willing to do. So yes they can, but it would be a lonely experience.

Conclusion: Yes you can achieve a sense of physical satisfaction but in regards to a sense of fulfillment, there is perhaps a lack in both relationships depending on the individuals.

A Feeling of Conquest

You know the people. It’s a game to them. They want to see how many they can get. Or Quotes-barney-stinsons-quotes-legendary.jpgtry to be the best lover in the world so their partner will brag about it. Both relationships will do it. It is a dominance thing that occurs. For some people they have other problems in other areas of their lives and try to make up for it here. Often times they have no idea that the person they are involved with know what their attempts are due to a lack of emotional connection during the sexual experience and they are just placating them by, shall we say “faking it”.

Is this as easy to ascertain with a VSR? You would most likely experience jealousy and a tendency to dive right into a sexual exchange without any other discussion. Yes, that can just happen anyway, but if there is a pattern of it always being that way with no other purpose to the times spent together, then there is a problem. But it is only a problem if one of the people is not happy with it. As with any sexual experience, if both people involved are okay with it and of legal age of course, then so be it.

Conclusion: Once again there is a tie of sorts.

Being Emotionally Connected

Being emotionally connected during a sexual experience, that takes a lot of trust I would think and respect. Can that fulfillment be reached with a physical relationship? Of course.

Can that fulfillment be reached with a VSR? Yes.

Don’t act too surprised. What many people don’t realize about sex is that the intimacy and the fulfillment aspects really have very little if anything to do with the sexual act. The real satisfying fulfillment is a mental thing. I can see some of you now out there giggling snickering and just plain rolling your eyes or even smiling and saying “Not with me, mate. I know what I know and I can tell that it’s a physical thing.”

You didn’t really read what I said. I said the ‘real satisfying FULFILLMENT’. Of course the body is going to react to physical touches and manipulations. Usually. In truth that doesn’t always occur, but we are not talking about that specifically. We are talking about fulfillment. In reality, Virtual or otherwise, each person determines what they will be satisfied with, what will fulfill them. This is a mental process.

barney_love.gifYou choose in your mind, even unknowingly what you like or don’t like. Does someone look attractive or not? Through the years your mind has developed what it thinks is attractive. You do not have to go through the step by step process of a person’s appearance, personality or anything else to know if they are attractive to you.

This is the same in many aspects of your life, including what is fulfilling. Notice you are not always thinking during sexual moments. You are in the moment and thus letting your mind lead the way to what is and is not good. You may be saying that “well I know this will always make a person feel good”, well no it won’t. I know there are some things that I don’t like that others might. I have even been able to track some back to why. It’s a mental thing. Some may be due to a past relationship that ended badly and that physical act brings those memories and fbarneysuccess.jpgeelings back–end of enjoyment.

So can a Virtual Sexual Relationship be as fulfilling if not more fulfilling than a Physical Reality Sexual Relationship? It would seem so. It all depends on the individual and what they feel is sexually rewarding and fulfilling. Just think about it, does a person you care about, love, are attracted to have to be in the room with you in order for you to begin to be aroused sexually? No. Their presence is not required at all. Is it always a sexual act that starts your engine running? No, it doesn’t have to be. It could be just a simple feel in the room that brings a memory to your mind and you are off to the races.

VSR or PRSR, whatever you choose, you choose and as long as you both are in agreement then I say go for it and enjoy.

That’s all for me and my guest article today. I know it wasn’t as note worthy perhaps as intellectual sounding as Florence, but I just had to be me.

So until the next time I wander this way,

Much Respect


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9 thoughts on “Is it in your head or in your . . . What’s up with Sex?”

  1. This is a subject that is completely outside my realm of experience. As an older woman it’s not something I even want to consider. I’ve been happily married to my best friend for over 37 years & we are quite compatible. Of course aging has altered the quantity of encounters but the quality & love are what matter. Holding hands, cuddling, simply touching are very satisfying to both of us.

    As far as a Virtual Sexual Relationship, I’d have to quip: Is it real or Memorex?


    1. I just see Barney as being all about the physical. When I was looking for images, his came up and a lot of images with it. So I went with it. Plus he would do anything for the physical and no connection, fulfillment of any real sort, other than conquest, but was really lonely and looking for something. He might have made a good case study for Florence. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks, Ronovan…awesome post 🙂 Glad I didn’t put up a ‘Gone Fishin’ post. By the way, what else can I say of one who accepts a mere suggestion for a challenge? Brave….hats off to you.

    Liked by 1 person

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