Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Gardening, Domino Style

For some reason, Amazon chose to give me a free subscription to Domino magazine. I'd never heard of it. (Maybe that was their reason.) I love magazines, but this one isn't for me. Their taste in home decor rarely matches mine, and even when it does (sort of), I couldn't possibly afford any of the stuff they feature.

In the September issue, the hand-carved divan is beautiful, but definitely does not belong in my house. That's good, actually, because it costs $7,000. Ditto the bright coral "cheeky" Louis XV desk for $5,160 and the "couch as confection" ($12,500).

I felt even more removed from the gardening section. I've been gardening for decades. Surely I can connect to their gardening pages. Not really.

I own some necessary gardening equipment, but not a lot of it. What's the point? You need to be able to dig and you need to be able to move stuff around. Some people spray. Other than that, gardening is basically you and the seeds, followed by you and the plants. Ah, but not according to Domino.

The September issue features a number of tools, beginning with an iron harvesting basket ($87). Iron?? Gardening doesn't require enough exertion without lugging around an iron basket? Once you've recovered from dragging your heads of broccoli to the porch in their iron container, you can pickup a bunch of lightweight wood cloches from France and cover your salad greens so they won't mature too quickly. (Can you do the same with your teenagers?) But don't pick up too many — each one costs $80.

The dollar store has some foam kneeling pads for a buck or two, but you'll feel ever so much more elegant on your leather kneeler ($85). For $310 you can be the proud owner of a rhubarb forcer. I'm not sure I'd want to force rhubarb, though. Did you know the leaves are poisonous? They are. That makes them dangerous. Trying to force rhubarb might be somewhat like trying to force the Sopranos to do something. Would you try to strong-arm the Sopranos? I didn't think so.

And finally, you might want a terra cotta jar in your garden. That is, if you don't mind spending $1,100 for something that's going to get muddy, knocked over by deer, peed on by the dog, and broken if you forget and leave it out during a freeze. Then again, you might not want it. I know I don't.


Helen said...

Oh, too funny! Perhaps the money would be better spent on a professional gardener? I like the idea of a garden butler myself; does Domino sell those?

crystal said...

Ha :-) It sounds like a catalogue for people with money to burn. I get one from Winterthur that's almost that bad.

Indigo Bunting said...

I loved this. I was in downtown Portland, Maine, last week and to my dismay discovered that the average price of (boutique) jeans is about $170. Where have I been? Needless to say, I am still looking.