Black Diamond Self-Talk

Thursday, February 03, 2011

What is holding you back?

It was just after the Coaches Corner Mastermind call when I got paged for my job. Yeah, it was around 1 am on Sunday morning and I got paged. Some equipment set off a bunch of alarms and they called me to diagnose this issue so they could engage the proper people or vendor to fix it. Luckily I can do this from my setup at home, without having to travel into anywhere. Anyway, it was the state of mind I recognized, only in hindsight of answering the page that was my epiphany.

I had been frustrated, again, another weekend going by, and little by slow was too slow ... maybe I'm still stuck with a fear of lack? Am I afraid I'm not ready? Is there something I didn't do, yet? Is this exceptionally snowy winter giving me another excuse to not succeed? I keep putting together plans and steps, but I end up with 50 tasks. all moving slowly forward, but nothing done. Or, at least, nothing that seems to be working. Maybe I'm not saying my self-talk enough? Maybe I lack the conviction I need to make it work? Analysis paralysis again? Why do I let these simple steps pile into a mess that overwhelms me?

When I answered the page, everything changed. I was in my element. I was performing tasks I'd trained years and years to master. No hesitation. No doubts. I knew right where to go, which system(s) to check, and which things to do. It wasn't that I knew what was wrong in an instant, but the logic I followed was solid and well traveled. I had used this stuff, over and over again, and knew exactly what to expect. I knew what connects to what, what fails or doesn't, but mostly, how to interpret the often cryptic messages and reports. I was in the zone. I knew that I knew that I knew. Even if I didn't know something with exacting detail, I knew to be comfortable in the knowledge that I could figure it out. I knew the missing pieces would present themselves to me. There was no fear, no worry, just confidence and faith.

The weekend is over now, but I am now equipped with a tool. A tool that I already had at my disposal, but which can now be applied to the task I now desire.

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