This is what the Kentucky Derby comes down to .jpg.jpg.jpg


It all started with a folding chair at an outdoor wedding. I sat on the folding chair when I heard the wooden chair crack ... a loud crack. A crack where everyone looks at you then snickers. I did what any fat women would do and I dug my heels in the ground to keep me and the chair in place. My thighs were burning by the end of the ceremony and I will forever be thankful it was a Universal Life Church Officiant and not a Catholic priest so that the ceremony was about 10 miuntes. As soon as the ceremony ended, I made a bee line to the bar. Then a friend (I use that term loosely) took a picture of me and I realized there was never going to be enough alcohol and I would need to either wire my mouth shut or commit myself to a journey of health. Sit back and relax while taking this journey with me.

