Father's Day: An Introspective

This year is my tenth year celebrating Father’s Day. That means for ten years I have had at least one child around that would call me “dad,” even if they couldn’t speak yet, I’m assuming they were thinking it. After a decade of being a father I have come to realize some very poignant and […]
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This year is my tenth year celebrating Father's Day. That means for ten years I have had at least one child around that would call me "dad," even if they couldn't speak yet, I'm assuming they were thinking it. After a decade of being a father I have come to realize some very poignant and important things about the role. At first it just seemed surreal, and at times it still does. The fact that these half grown humans are my doing never escapes my mind. Now, it seems less surreal and more concrete. I feel like an old hat at the job, even though I still learn something new about it every day. It's a fluid and constantly changing process, running the full spectrum of emotion.

Being a geek father makes it that much more interesting. More than just the normal father / child relationship it's almost a father-child / child relationship. I enjoy playing with Lego just as much as they do, if not more. I watch cartoons such as Phineas and Ferb with religious dedication. I still collect comics and we all love anything Star Wars. We are gamers, writers & artists.

These are much different bonds created than just being the dad and just being around. These are shared interests with true emotional intent and involvement in the activity. Just to be fair, I am also big into sports but only one of the three shares my intense interest in all things SportsCenter. In fact, he's a huge stats geek at only nine years old and his geek cred is showing with his talent for memorizing player stats, names and teams.

So what is Father's Day? Is it truly a day where dad gets to do whatever the hell he wants? Drink beer out on the patio by himself while the kids run wild? Well, Father's Day is a couple of things, and while drinking beer on the patio sounds like a pretty damn good plan, there is a bit more to it.

It's not about us, it's about them.

Yes, it's called Father's Day, but without our children we wouldn't be fathers. I also realize that every other day of the year is basically "children's day" but by the same token every day is also Father's Day. We never stop being fathers (unless we do, but that's a whole different type of article) and they never stop being children. Just as much as the day is about us, it's about them. That's a good thing to remember when they let you sleep in to the grand time of 7:30am.

We don't want to be left alone, we just don't want to DO anything.

I asked my boys what Father's Day meant to them, I got a very interesting response from the nine year old, "Fathers day to me is a day to worship and thank my dad. It is also a day to let your dad relax, chill out, and have fun by himself unless he wants to be accompanied. It means as much as Mother's Day does to me. This is because my Dad does as much as my Mom does. Except he's funner and funnier." I swear I didn't coach him on his response at all. He'll be worshiping in the form of chores.

The eleven year old (step-child for those of you doing the math) was a little less kiss-ass in his assessment of the day. "What every fathers day means to me is having a great day with my dad and making him a fathers day card." There better be some awesome drawings on that card, or he's doing chores too.

There is a misconception, mostly by our wives, that we want to be left alone on Father's Day. While it's been stated that Father's Day is basically everyday of the year (as is Mother's Day, and the made up Children's Day,) if we're being given a day to not have to do anything, we'll take it. As we all know, that isn't always the case. The important thing is that we don't actually want to be left alone. What's the point of Father's Day if you are alone? We want to spend time with our kids, we just don't want to have any structure to it. Or housework. None of that either.

Don't forget about your father.

One thing us fathers sometimes overlook is our own fathers. They don't want to spend the day without their children either. Thankfully, I see my father all the time and he's a very involved and active grandfather, so he's got the every day of the year thing pretty much covered (since he is the on-call babysitter.) However, many families aren't so geographically close and don't have that luxury. So don't forget about your dad on Father's Day. Give him a call, using an obnoxious sound board of course.

So what does Father's Day mean to you?

To me, Father's Day is a day for the title of this post. It's for introspection, retrospection, perspective and the reality of being a father and enjoying every day of your children's lives. It's about relaxing (as the nine year old stated) and being grateful for being able to have someone in the house on a regular basis that you can play video games with that isn't a half drunk roommate.

In regards to my own father (pictured above with my little brother in 1983) Father's Day means that it's another day I get to discuss Science Fiction theory, politics and sports with him. Just like every other day. That's a good thing. So happy every day Father's Day dad.

So what about you? What does Father's Day mean to you? I posed the question to my Twitter & Facebook friends and the general consensus is that Father's Day is in fact - every day. I'm cool with that.

"Nothing; Everyday is Father's Day. My dad used to say it growing up & until I had my own kids, I never 'got it.'" - @deguia

"Nothing, it's a bullshit made up holiday to sell worthless crap and cards. Everyday is a father's day." - J.D.

"Fathers day is a day that dad gets to bitch all he wants without complaint. He's a man, he doesn't need a day. He knows I love him." - @awfulwaffle73

"Father's Day Memory: Spending the day w/ my cop Dad, giggling & putting tiny little girly hair goodies in his hair, painting his nails & doing makeup while Mom worked." - @myoffbeatlife

"Spending time with my dad getting drunk on good bourbon, riding 4 wheelers and shooting at Turkeys and hogs in the woods for dinner!!! I just overnighted him a box full of mixed nuts and 2 pounds of beef jerky...." - S.T.

"It means nothing to me, I could get all emo about it but I'm in a cheery mood tonight lol" - @stsdasnowman

"I remember Father's Day being when dad and grandpa dressed in 'party' shirts. Awkward plaid or Hawaiian prints, usually matching." - @krissy314

"Golf!!" - J.B.

"It means I get formal recognition for everything I do for my family. Good thing I wear a cup 24/7! ;)" - @dbinkowski

"Its my life's calling...and what I am most proud of." - @sdgully

"Its like suddenly being entrusted with the single most valuable thing in the universe... and suddenly realizing how entirely unprepared and ill-chosen you believe yourself to be. Yet somehow muddling through. It's fear. And loving every second of it." - @muskrat_john

On behalf of myself and all of us here at GeekDad, happy Father's Day! If you'd like to leave a message about what Father's Day means to you, or just nitpick my grammar, leave it in the comments.

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