My latest book is The One Who Swam With The Fishes.




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2 November 2004

Tick Tock Tick Tock

So, I wake up in the morning full to the brim with "healthy" thoughts, after yesterday's philosophical post. It's a bright, sunshiny day, and I'm still thinking I'm good and okay and a reincarnation of Gloria Steinem.

Then, toodle-oo, I toddle over to my computer and switch it on, because I really do want my new Dashboard Confessional stuff to finish downloading and I'm planning to burn a cd.

Of course, since I have a cable internet connection, it's not a crime that my MSN window pops up. And because it's there and all, I check it.

And promptly all my healthiness leaks like a water balloon with a hole in it, because Manav (despite leaving for Atlanta on Saturday) has still not added me.

But then, because maybe he's just not had a chance to use MSN. Maybe, like me, he doesn't have access to Messenger at work.

So then I check my gmail account.

Okay, so maybe he's just tired. Jet lag and all. Plus, what must the time be in the US? -11 hours if I'm not mistaken, so it's hmmm... 10 pm.

So I get into work, meanwhile playing out little fantasies in my head. What if he's lost my email address? How is he going to get it again? When will it be okay for me to mail him? Why am I such a loser?

Then I check my mail every 13 minutes: first gmail, which stays blank except for the Daily Romantic Horoscope and Yahoo for Blogger comments. (Here is your single's love horoscopefor Wednesday, November 3: Take a positive outlook and run with it, particularly in the realm of romance. Your ability to see the best in a given situation (without being saccharine about it) can serve up something sweet.)
Then I read other people's blogs; try to up my stats by submitting to TWR (space full, wait for a vacancy); find this guy's blog and fall in love with it and spend the rest of the day reading his archives.

All the while, pressing Alt+Tab and then Refresh on my mail windows.

Then obsess for a while about telling Shiva yesterday that I was "taking a sabbatical from men" and wonder whether I will regret that. And spend a long time backspacing this line, because I know he will read it and then decide to go for it nonetheless.

Then wonder whether I have a crush on Manav, and realise I don't and I'm obsessing needlessly.

Stop obessesing.

Dee and I have a fun evening planned-- just the gals. Hanging and wathing a movie at my house. We've had a rough patch lately because of my free time and her lack of it and so I'm hoping this will help to make it all okay.

I solemnly swear I will not check my mail again today... more than once.


  1. Gawd Mynna! Are our lives gonna always be so uncannily similar??????????????????
    After a blissful yesterday, he didn’t sms/call the entire evening even though I had sent him a couple.. When I called him today morning, he didn’t go into raptures as he did the last couple of times and he hasn’t mailed/smsed yet. I am in a progressively blacker mood since last evening, what with rushing off to the phone each time it rings and almost willing that envelope to manifest itself on the bottom right hand corner of the screen.. To no avail.. With the result that right now, I feel like jumping outta the window,
    So I sooooooo know what you must be going thru. *hug* hope M calls/mails/msges you (for all your thoughts about stopping the obsessing :) )

    Wish we could blame it on 'em PMSing or something..

  2. Hima: Aargh men.. is all I can say. But if our lives are so similar and all maybe we should just give up heterosexuality and run off into the distance ;)
    Still PMS as an excuse works for me!

  3. I'm laughing at you and Hima right now. I can't remember what it was like to look so forward to contact but I'm sure I was just as crazy about it. Now laugh at me by realizing that my legs are holding signs, on their own, that say "WE QUIT" and "EQUAL RIGHTS FOR THIGHS!".

  4. *pats April* I know it must be hard for a woman of your matured years to identify with obvious babes in the cradle such as Hima and myself... but as always I am honoured by your visits :D
    As for the thighs, ignore them. Mine took off when I attempted to do a split in dance class on Sunday and I haven't seen them since.

  5. i am so bad about checking email...when I first sit down to the computer, I check one account, then the next, then the first again, then the second again, then the third...and then back through...omigod! it's so ridiculous...and the site that you linked is really cute. thanks for pointing the way to him:)

  6. get the gmail notifier and you can stop refreshing.

    and quit smoking.. a good way to do it is to use cigerattes instead of agarbatti. you get the sweet smell of tobacco and at the same time get done with prayers and all..(ok that was a lame attempt at humor)
    if that dont work switch to smoking weed.. tastes better.. works better.. damages less.

    uhh.. hima before you jump out of the window make sure of two things:
    1. you are not on the ground floor
    2. no one is under the window.

