The Best 14 Airports Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Airports jokes. There are some airports terrorists jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these airports areas puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Airports Jokes and Puns

A Woman goes to the Optician

for her annual eye test. The Optician puts a contraption her face and asks her what can she see.
"I see empty airports, I see empty football grounds. I see closed theatres, closed pubs and closed restaurants"

"That's perfect" says the Optician "You've got 2020 vision"

A man goes to the Optician for his eye test.

The Optician asked him what he can see.
"I see empty airports, empty football grounds, closed theaters and closed pubs."
That's perfect says the Optician, you've got 2020 vision!

If God had wanted us to fly...

... the airports would be closer to the cities

Why can't you smoke at airports?

Cause it gives you terminal cancer.

I prefer to do my stand up comedy in airports

As long as TSA and Homeland Security do their job, there's no way I'd bomb

Comcast opens an airline.

The airplane only goes full speed to certain, partner airports and if the airplane flies further than expected, you're charged per mile.

Did you hear about the airports that got coronavirus?

Sadly it was terminal

During the lockdown, they changed the names of the flight areas in airports to waystations

They thought 'terminal' was a bit off putting

Why did Russia close all of its airports?

The planes were stalin.

I'm going to plan my wedding like airports plan flights

I'll over book the venue. The last to arrive will be given a voucher to my second wedding.

Three days after the 9/11 attacks a Russian passenger comes under the rubble...

Shaking the dirt and the dust from his suit he mumbles:"Americans and their stupid airports..."

You can explore airports passengers reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean airports terminal dad jokes. There are also airports puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why do Britons in airports seem kind of fishy?

Is it because they Keep Clam in Carry On?

United Airports are cancerous

I call them terminal.

To expand their business, CNN and NBC build airports.

As usual, a lot of things fly over their heads.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the airports helicopters jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.


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