Dear Robert,

Although you are a great guy and I have enjoyed getting to know you, it has recently come to my attention that you are not Hugh Jackman


Therefore, I fear I must end things between us.  Normally, your English accent and musical talent would have kept me around, but not this time. Because not only does Hugh have a body that defies words, he has an even better accent than you AND he sings and dances. More importantly, he kicks ass.


 Please don’t take this personally, but you just can’t compete. However, you do look hot in the new publicity shots for New Moon.


I hope there are no hard feelings and that we can remain friends. Perhaps you would even consider performing a song at mine and Hugh’s wedding? That would be so great.

Love always,