Please read this carefully. I will likely repeat myself, because this concept is too important not to get. And I mean fully get and embody- not just intellectually comprehend without making any changes or shifts.

First, a small bit of background. There have been some upheavals lately in my family, and among people I know that have thrown a lot of us, myself included for a bit of a loop. A lot of intense emotions, a lot of unknowns, a lot of fear, a lot of cracks in foundations. Which can create some really, hmm, interesting experiences in our bodies, our thoughts, our energy levels, and our abilities to cope and keep moving forward.

If you’ve experienced hardship, death, illness, stress, overwhelm, weird relationship dynamics, or anything like that, especially lately, this message is especially for you.

Ready? Here it is:

Self-Care is NOT a Luxury.

I repeat: Self-Care is NOT a Luxury.

Self-Care has become a bit of an industry lately- a way to sell a certain lifestyle and commodities that are status symbols of taking care of yourself. Yoga studio memberships, fancy artistic journals, bubble baths and high end bath salts, wearing red lipstick, buying yourself flowers, eating a salad, drinking a glass of wine…

And the way self-care is portrayed, especially on social media, frankly pisses me off. Because it positions taking care of yourself as a luxury you should indulge in, rather than an absolute necessity for your health, sanity, and quality of life.


Self-Care means taking care of yourself. ALL parts of you.

It means when you notice something off in your body- twinges, lumps, chronic conditions- you schedule a doctor’s appointment and get it checked out, because guess what? Your health matters. This is not something to wait for until it’s convenient.

It means if you have things you’ve been putting off, like doing your taxes or renewing your license plate tabs, you face that stuff and you get it taken care of, asking for help when you need it. Because guess what? Your energy does not need to go into constantly remembering and then forgetting you need to do something, over and over again.

It means acknowledging your jealous streak and investigating where and when it shows up, and looking at what might be behind it, because guess what? Your emotional health matters. If your emotions are running your life and you aren’t aware of the root cause, this is affecting the quality of your life.

It means turning off your electronics sometimes even when you have emails to answer and projects to complete. Because guess what? If you’re running on empty, you’re not actually doing anybody any good.

There are hundreds of examples of this. Of why taking care of yourself is not a freaking luxury. Of why it is a NECESSITY.

If you are angry, find a healthy way to express your anger. (This goes for all emotions.)
If you are avoiding something, find a way to face it that allows you to retain your power.
If you need a break, take an actual full on break. Disconnect.
If you need to finish something, do what you need to do to make it happen.
If there a part of your life that needs organizing, organize it.

There are hundreds and thousands of things that pull at our energy day in and day out. Your body and being is a delicately balanced ecosystem of communications and processes working continuously to take care of you and help you thrive and survive in this life.

If your time and energy keep going toward things that are not helping those processes do their jobs, eventually a problem is going to show up. That might be a serious physical illness. It might be debilitating anxiety. It might mean you feel like a doormat.

Self-Care is NOT a luxury.

It means looking at ALL parts of yourself, on ALL levels. Checking in regularly on your health- your physical health, emotional health, mental health, energetic health, relationship health, financial health, creative health. And looking at each of these areas from a holistic perspective- physical, mental, emotional, and energetic.

Sometimes it may be that a fancy bubble bath with a glass of wine is exactly what you need. And when that’s the case, hell yes I am allll for it.

But that is only one aspect of caring for you. PLEASE don’t keep putting yourself last. PLEASE take care of yourself first and foremost.

Not only does it matter for YOU, but for everyone around you. You taking care of yourself has an enormous ripple effect on your family, your friends, your lovers, your co-workers, and even people you don’t already know.

When you are caring for the totality of your being, it SHOWS. It shows in how you carry yourself. It shows in how you engage- in conversation, in energy, in creativity, in experiences. It shows in what you contribute with your thoughts, actions, and creations.

Self-Care is NOT a Luxury.

Don’t delay on this. Seriously.


Look at those categories of health above. Ask yourself, “where do I feel out of balance or out of harmony? Where does my ideal vision of this area of my life correspond or feel disconnected from what’s actually true?”

Next, focusing on an area that doesn’t feel in alignment, ask yourself, “what one small thing can I do today to move me toward alignment in this area?”

Take a couple of deep breaths, feel into it, and whatever the answer is, go do that.

And if you aren’t sure where to start or would like some support in figuring it out? Let’s talk.