Butterball Hotline

Posted by Robert on November 21st, 2005


The holidays offer no respite for idiots.

The following are actual questions asked of Butterball Hotline personnel:

“I know you’re all about turkeys, but can you help me make cookies?”



“I buried my turkey in a snow bank and now I can’t find it. What should I do?”

“I’m calling from a cell phone and I’m walking up and down the aisles in the grocery store. I don’t know what to get for Thanksgiving dinner. Will you walk with me and tell me what to buy?”
“What are you wearing?”


Does anyone eat mincemeat anymore?



Why do Yankees insist on calling dressing “stuffing”?

Can you explain the offside rule in soccer?

Is the hokey pokey truly “what it’s all about?”

Why don’t psychics ever win the lottery?

Giblets… come on, what’s the real story?

How did Chuck Norris ever get into the movie business?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Do you know anyone that actually eats fruitcake?




Feeding Methodists


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