Home Love & Relationships Still Rolling Solo? Here Are 7 Reasons Why This Might Be So



Why are you still rolling solo? Is this question the least of your worries or does it make you cringe?

Undoubtedly, some people are alone since they choose to be. Other people are single since they’ve just broken up with someone and they want to be alone so as to heal. And there’re others that are rolling solo because they haven’t found the person they’re compatible with yet.

Regardless of the reason why you’re still single, the truth is that when it comes to love and relationships, we all like to play the victim role. We all like to think that others are those who are selfish, manipulative, and cruel and who hurt us.

But, the truth is that we have more power over our love lives than we think. Our relationship status and the way we behave in our relationships is up to us and to no one else.

So, if you’re wondering why you’re still alone, here are 7 reasons why this might be so:

1. You have low self-esteem.

All of us have “critical inner voices” which tell us that we’re too skinny, too fat, too old, or not beautiful enough. When you listen to your “inner critic,” you behave in ways which push other people away.

When you lack confidence, you think that no one decent would be interested in you, no matter how bad you want to have a loving, fulfilling relationship. In this way, you push potential partners away and destroy your chances of finding happiness and true love.

2. You’re afraid of competition.

Oftentimes, low self-esteem leads to fear of competition. This means that you may be very quick to back away when you see that someone else has a crush on the person you’re interested in.

single solo

3. You’re guarded.

Most of us have felt the pain of a broken heart. Most of us have been betrayed and hurt by someone we’ve truly loved. The problem is that with time and difficult, painful experiences, you risk becoming increasingly defensive.

When you fear being hurt again, you put up walls around yourself so as to protect yourself from any possible pain. This fear and self-protectiveness might be the reason you’re too easily writing people off and refusing to start a relationship.

4. You feel attracted to unhealthy people and relationships.

A lot of individuals have an unconscious motivation to search for relationships which bolster negative thoughts that they’ve had toward themselves for a long time. They may establish a poor relationship by choosing someone that is not emotionally available since that person reinforces the negative image they have of themselves.

Since this process is unconscious, they often place the blame on their partner when the relationship fails. They tend to feel hurt and devastated by the recurrent rejections without realizing that they’re, in fact, searching for that pattern.

5. You’re picky.

After you have had painful experiences where you were rejected or cheated on by a person that you were in love with, you’re likely to start feeling more judgmental and pickier.  You may think that there isn’t a man or a woman out there that you can trust or you may identify weaknesses as soon as you meet someone.

What you should know is that when perceiving others from distrusting eyes,  you actually write off a number of potential partners without ever seeing how they could make you happy and offer you the attention and love you long for in the long run.

6. You’re isolated.

With age, we tend to retreat into our comfort zones. When we come home from work, most of us usually feel more like putting on some comfortable clothes and lying on the couch than going out and hanging out with our friends, let alone meeting new people.

What you need to know is that being stuck inside your own comfort zone and avoiding getting out into the world and meeting people is actually preventing you from pursuing what you truly want in life. That’s the reason why you need to step out of your comfort zone, challenge yourself, and try dating different people.

7. You make a lot of rules.

With age, you often make rules regarding your love life. But, what you may fail to realize is the fact that by making rules about dating, you actually prevent yourself from finding a person you could actually build a loving, lasting relationship with.

What you should remember is that when it comes to love and relationships, there are no rules. That’s why you shouldn’t try to make or follow any. What you should follow instead is your heart.