Tim Tebow Should Grow a Ponytail

This is official GQ advice
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(David Bergman/Sports Illustrated via Getty Images)

Last night, for a few glorious minutes during the College Football National Championship game, the world was convinced that Tim Tebow had grown a ponytail. It was a magical time full of wonder and possibility, and it was all based on one, perfect photo.

But then the dream of a beautiful and magical world full of interesting hair choices was dashed when it was revealed that this photo was just a trick of alignment. Now some will choose to think of this as a good thing. "Oh, that was funny when everyone thought Tim Tebow had a ponytail, but thank god he doesn't," they'll think. And let me tell you, without any question, those people will be wrong. Tim Tebow needs to grow a ponytail.

Why should he grow a ponytail? Because it instantly transforms him. Right now, everyone thinks they know a lot about the kind of guy Tim Tebow is. And sure it's mostly good, if annoying stuff, but when you're a football player, or a broadcaster, unpredictability is your friend. The idea that people may have misevaluated you becomes an asset. Think of all the NFL scouts who think they know what Tim Tebow can do, and won't give him another chance (even though the last time he started consistently he won a playoff game). If Tim Tebow starts rocking a ponytail, then suddenly those scouts will have to reevaluate him. They'll think, "Who is this unpredictable rebel and what has he done with boring Tim Tebow?" Then they'll think "He can't be worse than Johnny Manziel, right? And before you know it, it'll be Tebow time in the NFL again.

And why? All because he rocked a ponytail. Also, this is GQ. We decide what's fashionable. And I say, Tim Tebow with a ponytail is the style choice of the season.

(Please don't tell the GQ style guys that I said any of this. I'll deny it, if you do.)