• Todd Puhl

Movie Review: Pound of Flesh (2015)

Updated: May 29, 2019

So, my name is Todd and I have a problem. I am a huge fan of JCVD. It’s a horrible problem as at one point, I owned all of his films. Sounds like an AA intro eh? Might as well be. I am not 100% sure why I keep watching these films, but I fall for it every time. By the way, a kidney weighs 1/4 of a pound. Huge miss on creative there. If it weighs a pound, see a doctor. Or in this case, let the organ harvesters keep it lol.

Why wouldn’t you want to watch a 55 year old washed up action star anymore? Maybe for the nostalgia of my childhood.  So the other day, I was waiting for a file transfer to complete and I saw Pound of Flesh pop up on Netflix. I figured, it can’t be that bad. I have seen most of Steven Seagal’s films over the years. And his are baaaaaaaaaaaad. I caught a couple of JCVD’s flicks in the later part of 2008  which were surprisingly good. However, then there was Pound of Flesh.

This film overall production was low and the writing for this film was pathetic at best. Shot in the Philippines and maybe a small student loan of production value, the film fails to impress or even slightly amuse anyone. I knew the film would be bad(sometimes bad films can still be good action films) but this film literally took a dump on the story, character development, and overall action.

JCVD plays an mob type character who travels to the Philippines to donate one of his kidneys to a niece he never sees.. Ever. However, upon flying in, he decides to have a night out on the town which leads to JCVD waking up in a bathtub full of ice, his kidney missing, a ton of cash and broken memories of what occurred the night before. How convenient/coincidental is that? He literally flies in to donate a Kidney and the same night he has his kidney stolen. Ultimately, the film becomes one man’s mission to retrieve his kidney for his dying niece and extract revenge for it. Was this based off of true events? Who even wrote this? This is something you would find written on a discarded diner napkin in a seedy hotel bathroom.

One thing is for sure, age has finally caught up to JCVD. Most of his moves are slow and poorly choreographed. He is broken if anything now because he can’t do moves from the days of his youth. But why bother? Pay attention kids. This is what happens when you do not properly invest your money or be a spokesperson for Bowflex(because that’s how the Chuck rolls). You are working past your prime not because you want to, but because you have to. I am sure JCVD will still be making films till he is 70 like Stallone and Arnie. But for the wrong reasons.

JCVD, you are no longer the “Lionheart” anymore. Time to retire before a “BloodSport” occurs and a “Sudden Death” happens with your career.

#poundofflesh #JCVD #jeanclaudevandamme

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