I Know You Know You Just Did That!!

09 Jan

Happy New Year my Lovelies and Welcome to 2013!!!

I have seen the mantra, “New Year… New You” for the last couple of weeks and I can tell you that I can’t stand it!!!  How about, “New Year…Same You…Better Decisions”!  I think I need to trademark that… wait… I just did! Whoo Hooo!!!  Speaking of better decisions, I have one that I know we have all had experience with but maybe I am the only one who will put it out on front street.

Ok, so I sit through many a meeting at work and church, I go out to eat, to the movies, I shop, etc; all of the things that we all do on a daily basis.  I stand in line and wait for services or purchases, I spend a lot of time waiting.  All of this is an inevitable part of life.  What isn’t an inevitable part of life is being assaulted by the flatulence of others.  I become very irritated, irate and down right pissed off when there is someone next to, behind or in front of me who farts, passes gas, lets one rip, toots, poots or otherwise expels noxious gases and doesn’t say a damn thing!!  What is even worse is that they act like they didn’t hear anything, they don’t smell anything and that everything is perfect…. when I know that if my nose is burning theirs sure as hell is!!  Now I know and understand that this is a natural bodily function, there is more room out than end and that if everyone does #2, then everyone poots.  All I am saying is that I would appreciate it if these assailants would at least acknowledge their heinous lack of personal responsibility and say, “Excuse me”.  I believe that all would be forgiven if this were to occur.  Instead what we have is the following scenario:

  • Scene opens to a crowded and bustling movie theater on a Saturday night (The movie theater keeps coming up in my postings b/c I like going to the movies, so sue me! LOL) and zooms in on the multiple long lines at the concession stand.  You are in line, patiently waiting for your turn to order a plethora of unhealthy movie snacks that will keep you up later with fiery heartburn, when a horrible stench sneaks across the lines and punches you in the nose!
  • You look around to see where the odor has originated from and see many assault victims around you, commenting on what has ruined popcorn for them forever.  A little girl says in a small voice, “Oh mommy, it stinks!” Everyone is in an uproar… save one patron, who looks straight forward as if they are reading the menu.  This person was apparently left unscathed and was ignored by the foul stench.  You can only assume that either the person is either nose deaf or the culprit who released the aforementioned stinkery that has violated everyone’s noses within a 5 foot radius.  You stare the person down, brow furrowed, eyes watering, as they avoid eye contact.  Your face says, “You know you smell that!!  You know that was you!!  You filthy McNasty!!”

If this person is you… for shame!!!

Someone Has Soiled the Air

Think on that my dears until next time.

Blessings & Happiness

T. Nicole


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