Funny life ponderings


Questions we ponder, such as…

Why would you put a baby, in a cradle, in a treetop?

If your named Will and you are in the army do you get worried when people say “fire at will”?

If the weather man says “there’s a 50% chance of rain tomorrow” does that mean he has no idea if its going to rain or not?


If a mute kid swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

Who’s idea was it to make the word abbreviation so long?

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things back down on the ground?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Is it a coincidence that when you put ‘THE’ and ‘IRS’ together, it forms ‘THEIRS’.

Why do British people never sound British when they sing?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

Why do they call it “head over heels in love” if our head is always over our heels anyway?

Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes when he had the chance?


Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

If it’s called lipstick then why does it always come off your lips?



If a synchronized swimmer drowns, do their partner swimmers all drown too?


Why are there 5 syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?

What do you call a male ladybug?

If a Man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still always wrong?

Why is it called tourist season when it’s still illegal to shoot at them?

Why is that when you transport something by car it’s called shipment but when you transport something by ship it’s called cargo?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? Shouldn’t they be called “compartments”?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport “the terminal”?

Can atheists get insurance for “acts of God”?

Why is there not another word for synonym?

Whose cruel idea was it to put an “s” in the word “lisp?”

Why do they put “for indoor or outdoor use only” on Christmas lights?

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?



When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss when it’s actually a “near hit”?

How do you respond to someone when they say you’re in denial, but you’re not?


If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, then why is there a famous song written about him?

Why is it that you can tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you but if you tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it to make sure?


If you went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the self-help section was would she refuse to tell you because it would defeat the purpose?

If a robber tried to rob a dance club and yelled, “Everybody get down”, would all the people start dancing?

Is it alarming that doctors call what they do “practice?”

Don’t you find it weird we sing a song to our kids about: “scrub a dub dub, three men in a tub”?


Is extraordinary just more ordinary than usual?

Why do kamikaze pilots always wear helmets?

Do Dutch people always split the bill?

How come you never read the headline, “Psychic Wins Lottery”?

If they say laughter is the best medicine then why do we have the phrase, “I died laughing”?

Why do doctors leave the room when your getting dressed when they’ve already seen you naked?

When butterflies get upset or nervous, what do they get in their stomachs?

Where do they put price stickers on non-stick pans?




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