The Most Poisonous Fish In The World

As we may have mentioned once or twice in the past, the ocean is where all of evolution's angry thoughts are stored. It has fish with fencing equipment on their heads that can swim faster than your first car, gilled abominations so big they outweigh all of your furniture, and, as the truly sadistic icing on the cake, otters.

"But what of poison?" you may be asking yourself, assuming that you're a cartoon Disney villain. "Let's talk about the poison." The briny sea, harsh mistress that she is, has developed more than a few pants-wettingly toxic creatures, and there's one in particular that's especially deadly. And do you want to know the best part? You'll never see it coming.

That stonefish poison will mess you up, kid

The stonefish is remarkable for a variety of reasons. Well adapted to its surroundings, it has developed the ability to camouflage itself seamlessly amidst the coral and rocks of the ocean floor. When hunting, it can strike and kill its prey in a fraction of a second. It is also, scientifically speaking, more venomous than Reptile from Mortal Kombat.

According to the Professional Association of Diving Instructors, the stonefish is about the worst thing that could happen to your foot outside of starring in a Quentin Tarantino movie. Stonefish have thirteen sharp spines running down their backs, each one containing enough venom to ruin your whole day. The Milton S. Hershey Medical Center website has a list of the poison's effects with more entries than the Nicolas Cage direct-to-DVD section at Redbox. A few choice selections: bleeding, change of color at the sting site due to lack of oxygen, abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, fainting, delirium, seizures, paralysis, and heart failure. Needless to say, these things are potentially fatal, so if you find yourself at the business end of a stonefish, don't listen to your holistic medicine-enthused buddy when they say "just pee on it." Go to the hospital. Fast.