Problematic evaluations

So, my wife and two kids were supposed to be evaluated for ADHD on Monday.

Things started off in a very ADHD manner.  Our son had a concert after the appointment.  Where were his black pants????  This caused delay, discord, and confusion on the way to the appointment.  He never found the pants, so my wife was worried that she had to find time to buy him a new pair before the concert.  (And, of course, he blew off the concert!)

Once we got there, they took my wife and our daughter first--at the same time.  I went in with our daughter.  Earlier this year, my wife had told me that a psychiatrist had diagnosed our daughter with ADHD, but then she said that she had not been diagnosed. So I was confused about why we needed to have her diagnosed.  It turns out both kids were seeing someone who DOES NOT DIAGNOSE ADHD!

When I got out of the appointment with our daughter, my wife said that the nurse practitioner she had seen had asked if I was a psychiatrist--in other words, discounting my concerns about ADHD.  No, I am not, that's why I want a professional evaluation.  BUT this nurse did not have the opportunity to meet me, much less her my concerns.  My wife said she said it "might be some ADD issues" but that the main thing was was previously diagnosed bipolar II.  She added a prescription for bupropion.  (I use that for depression.  I know it is also used for ADHD, so it may help.  But that does not address the behavioral support my wife should get for ADHD even if the medication helps.)

In terms of our son (15), the same counselor who saw our daughter ran him through an online ADHD evaluation and seemed to take his answers as given--she told us some afterwards, and they were clearly not accurate.

I later asked my wife what happened in her appointment. She just answered the nurse's questions, but did not offer any additional information.  I specifically asked, for example, if she had mentioned how she becomes overfocused on strangers and I become invisible.  Nope.  She did not think she should bring things up on her own--just answer the questions.

First question--how do I get this nurse to listen to my experiences that suggest ADHD?  Should I contact her?  If so, how?  I am afraid if I wait until the next appointment that I will not be there and my wife will once again fail to bring up the problematic behavior.

Second question--how the hell do we get our 15 year old to agree to be evaluated by someone who knows ADHD now that he thinks he has "passed the test"?