% pope-celebrate.tex % % Source: % Piece of paper next to the printer % % Typeset by Volker Kuhlmann, 16 October 1997. % Typeset with LaTeX 2e. % Does not require non-standard macro-packages. % 1 page. % \documentclass[12pt,twoside]{article} %% Load any desired fonts % %\usepackage{palatino} % PostScript Palatino %\usepackage{newcent} % PostScript NewCentury %\usepackage{helvetic}\AtBeginDocument{\sffamily} % PostScript Helvetica % Mirrors \oddsidemargin onto \evensidemargin for twoside documents, % and takes care of TeX's 1in/1in origin offset. % Takes paper width as argument. \newcommand\adjmargins[1]{% \evensidemargin=#1 \advance\evensidemargin-\textwidth \advance\evensidemargin-\oddsidemargin \advance\oddsidemargin-1in \advance\evensidemargin-1in \advance\topmargin-1in } % Define page layout % \oddsidemargin 20mm \textwidth 140mm \topmargin 20mm \headheight 0mm \headsep 0mm \textheight 250mm \footskip 12mm \pagestyle {plain} \thispagestyle {empty} \parindent 0em \parskip 1.5ex plus.5ex minus.5ex %\sloppy %\raggedright % \adjmargins{210mm} % 210mm for A4 paper %% Define any required macros % \begin{document} %\large The Pope dies, and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour he is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad of recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original texts of the Holy Scriptures, so he spends the next eon or so learning the languages. After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pore over every version of the Bible, working back from the most recent ``Easy Reading'' to the original script. All of a sudden there is a scream in the library. The angels come running in only to find the Pope huddled in his chair, crying to himself, and muttering ``An 'R'! The scribes left out the 'R'{}!{}''. A particularly concerned angel takes him aside, offering comfort, and asks him what the problem was and what does he mean. After collecting his wits, The Pope sobs again, ``It's the letter 'R'. They left out the 'R'. The word was supposed to be \textsc{celebrate}!'' \end{document} %% EOF pope-celebrate.tex