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New Romantic Relationships in Recovery

Romance should be the last thing on your mind when you are newly sober as relationships take effort whenever you are with that person. The number one priority should be recovering from the effects that drugs and alcohol did to your body and mental health.

It is highly recommended that the first year you are in recovery, you should not be dating because trying to be sober will be stressful enough. Getting into fights, misunderstandings, or feeling pressure to be perfect for that person can lead to a relapse. It is important to know what kind of person you are first. If you do not know who you are, how will you expect other people to get to know you? It is also not wise to start a new relationship because you would be replacing one addiction with another. Instead of devoting all of your time to alcohol and drugs like you used to, you would instead devote all of your time to your new relationship.

It is also not wise to start a new relationship with someone from a 12 Step meeting as they are on the same journey as you. If one person in the relationship relapses, it can cause the other person to do the same. Both people in the relationship come with a lot of baggage and issues that they need to deal with, making their relationship doomed from the start. When you are newly sober, you have trouble making the right decisions which is why you are in treatment in the first place. The other member of the 12 Step meeting can take advantage of how new you are to sobriety all for the purpose of satisfying their sexual cravings. If anyone is in a 12 Step fellowship, it is because they need to be there to get help just like you.

When it comes to meeting new people, you need to learn to establish trust. Maybe that was what brought you to drugs and alcohol in the first place to give you confidence. There are other places to meet new people besides bars such as at the gym or when you take a class. Take care of a different living creature before a person for a couple of years such as a plant or a dog. Most importantly, learn to love yourself and focus on reaching sobriety within the first year of a relationship.
