Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns

Funny one-liner #738

Whats long and hard and has cum in it? A cucumber.

tags: life, puns, sex
+1-173.43 % / 983 votes.

Similar one liners

How does a woman show she's planning for the future? Plastic Surgery.

tags: life, women
+1-168.51 % / 28 votes.

What do you and your shower have in common? You both get wet when I turn you on.

tags: dirty, flirty, puns, sex
+1-172.55 % / 206 votes.

A termite walks into a bar and says, "Where is the bar tender?"

tags: alcohol, animal, communication, puns
+1-180.55 % / 1453 votes.

Jokes about unemployed people are not funny. They just don't work.

tags: puns
+1-160.49 % / 47 votes.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

tags: puns
+1-176.26 % / 609 votes.

Men mostly hate two words: 'not' and 'enough'… unless you say them together.

tags: hate, life, men, sex
+1-153.93 % / 121 votes.

Why did the girl wear glasses in math class? It improves di-vision.

tags: puns, school, women
+1-168.22 % / 60 votes.

You can't spell Advertisements without putting semen between tits.

tags: puns
+1-142.53 % / 26 votes.

I just read the average age to lose your virginity is 17 years old. I'm finally above average for something.

tags: age, attitude, sex
+1-150.01 % / 26 votes.

The problem with being in the center of attention is that half of it is always behind your back.

tags: life
+1-167.38 % / 43 votes.