Monday, 12 June 2017

Hugs' hair cut for The Little Princess Trust

"Samson was given immense strength to aid him against his enemies and allow him to perform glorious feats, such as quickly killing a lion, slaying an entire army with only the jawbone of an ass, and destroying a temple of the Philistines with his bare hands. However, if Samson's long hair was cut, he would lose his strength". - Wiki

If you were going to describe Hugo to someone the first thing you'd think about is his messy, long hair thats constantly falling in front of his big blue eyes.

He's five years old and since he's actually been able to grow hair (which took an embarrassingly long time), he's never had it short.  He's had to deal with a lot of comments...the understandable confusing him for a girl, which doesn't bother him, to other children (and even some of our family *cough* Gogo, I'm looking at you *cough*) telling him he's a girl because of his hair...which annoys him (and me) or asking me when I'm going to "sort out" his hair.  My reply almost became a mantra..."When he wants it cut he can have it cut.

And he never has wanted to.....until now.

On Friday the 23rd June my kind, cheeky little five year old is having a hair cut.  ....but not only that....he's donating his hair to The Little Princess Trust, so it can be part of a wig for a child who's lost their hair because of cancer treatment and other illnesses.

We could just donate his hair and leave it at that, but awareness is everything.  If my little boy encourages someone to do the same, or can raise a little money to help make the wigs, which LPT don't charge for, then that's the cherry on top of the cake.  If he inspires someone to donate their own hair, then I don't really have a metaphor for how awesome that would be!

I'm immensely proud of what my little man is doing.  I'm not going to recognise him when he has it cut...I have no idea what he'll look like.  I'm imagining myself looking through the gaggle of children at the school gates and just scanning past him, looking for his little bun (or as he calls it, his "doughnut", because of the hole the loop of hair makes) and the thought of not recognising my child makes me want to cry.

....But hair grows.  He's a healthy little boy, and is giving another child, who has lost theirs, the ability to look in the mirror and feel normal.  To walk through the street without stares and hushed whispers.
And that gift is pretty amazing.

It's just hair...we all grow it...a hair cut is a completely normal occurrence, but what it will mean to that little girl or boy, is worth the world.

So please...if you read this post, consider sharing it, and if you have a few pounds spare, every little helps.

Well done Hugs, you awesome wee man!

Friday, 17 March 2017

C'est la vie

We're coming to the end of March and it's no secret that I find this time of year really hard.  Spring is usually my favourite time of year but Autumn has taken it's crown over the last few years, for obvious reasons.  Every year my anxiety goes into overdrive and it takes someone to point it out before I realise it's happening.  Everything I went through seems like a lifetime ago when in fact it was only three short years ago.

And this year there's an extra difficulty.  It's been a long time in the picture, but in January Tom and I decided that it would be better for us, as a family, and as individuals, to separate.  In all honesty I think it's been over for a long time.  We had a separation in October-December but really wanted Christmas, as a family, for the boys, so we tried.  

When you go through such a life changing know, with all the dying...then you change.  You change as individuals and you change as a unit.  From talking to other people who have been through similar life events, it either makes you stronger or it breaks you.  I'm obviously devastated that it's the latter, but we can't say that we didn't try.  It just wasn't fixable.  It's been over for a long time, but I think we needed the time to realise it.

I still love Tom, and I think he loves me...but that's why we know that this is the right thing to do.  We will always be a family, as we're connected by three amazing little boys, who need a happy mummy and daddy and don't need them arguing constantly.  They need us to be able to be the best parents, and people we can be...and together...we can't be that.

It's scary, not knowing what life is going to throw at me, but I have an amazing support network of family and friends, and other than this little yearly wobble I'm really ok.  

I'm sorry if I haven't told you in person...and I'm sorry if I told you in a garbled, incoherent way....but it's hard...!  It's embarrassing to admit.  It's easy to feel guilt....for my boys...for my family...for everyone who's supported me so much and wanted us to work it out.  There's no fault, no blame.  It's a decision we made together and it really is the best decision.  Tom needs as much support and love as I do, right now, so please give him some too.  He's still going above and beyond, for his boys, and I know he always will.

Ultimately life goes's not all clouds and storms ahead.

This isn't the end of the book.  It's just a new chapter.

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