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Talking to Parents About Depression

What If You Think You're Depressed?


Preparing to Talk to Parents

It may seem hard to share personal feelings with parents, especially if you haven't done it in a while. It also can be hard to share when you're not really sure what's going on yourself. Sometimes parents can offer a new angle that helps you figure things out. Just talking about it might help you see things more clearly for yourself.

Some people worry about how a parent might react. Will mom be mad? Will dad be disappointed? It's natural to worry, but most parents are supportive and understanding when they realize what's going on.


Starting the Conversation

Find a time when you can approach your mom or dad in a calm way. You might want to open the conversation by asking, "Can I talk to you? I've been feeling depressed and bad about things. I've been thinking I might need to talk to someone."

If it's too hard to start a conversation in person, you could write your parent a note saying you need to talk.

Sometimes the conversation just gets started by itself. For example, if you're crying or overwhelmed, you might just blurt out your feelings. This could be the perfect beginning to the conversation you need to have.




If it's needed, you can start with an apology, such as, "I'm sorry things haven't been so good between us lately." Then say, "I need to talk" or, "I need your help. I think I might be depressed." Chances are, mom or dad will be impressed with your maturity.

What Happens Next?



Sometimes, talking about depression can be hard for parents too. It might take several conversations, or you might feel better right away. Every situation is different.


What if I Need to Talk to a Therapist?


If your parent isn't sure you need to see a therapist but you feel you do, explain why. It's best to do this when you feel calm so you can get your ideas across well. Some parents may worry about finding the right therapist or how much it will cost. Your doctor, religious leader, or school counselor can help your parent find local and affordable therapists.

What if Talking to Parents Doesn't Work?

Even if you think a parent won't be willing or able to help, it's still worth a try to talk. People are often surprised by how much their parents rally to their side when they ask for help, even if the parents have a lot going on themselves.

Occasionally, parents have too many troubles of their own or other issues going on. If you reach out to talk and it turns out your mom or dad can't help, go to another adult (such as a teacher, counselor, coach, or relative). Don't give up until you find someone who can help you. It's that important.

What Else Can Parents Do?


  • communicate with kindness — and agree to ban hurtful criticism, arguments, threats, and putdowns
  • remind you that they love and believe in you
  • show affection
  • comment on your positive actions and traits
  • help with homework or projects you're having trouble with, or get you a tutor
  • talk through problems with you
  • make sure you get proper exercise, nutrition, and sleep (it's not nagging, it's love!)
  • do things with you that you both enjoy — walk, play a sport or game, watch a movie, do a craft, or cook.

You might need to ask your mom or dad to do these things for you. You can show them this list or come up with your own ideas. You know best what feels most helpful to you.

Talk with your mom or dad about actions you'll both take to help with your depression. Make a list of what you plan to do. Be sure that your plan includes how you'll do these things: 

  • get exercise
  • get the right amount of sleep and rest
  • eat healthy food
  • spend time outdoors during the day
  • spend time in relaxing, enjoyable activities, especially with the people you love. 


Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD
Date Reviewed: 12-08-2016

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