The magic of a zig-zag

So it’s not like you literally don’t already have 5 other projects right now (crochet CatLord’s christmas present, crocheting a baby blanket, cross stitch, planting seedlings for your garden, learning macrame, becoming the entirety of pinterest, etc) but like, let’s do a thing.

Remember when you were in 8th grade, and you sat beside your super crush (and other future ex-boyfriend) and you barely learned how to sew because you were so focused on how adorable crush boy was? But somehow you managed to sew a pair of boxer shorts that you wore until you were 27 and the crotch wore out? And you swore you would never sew again?
And then you made these bad boys and it was frustrating as fuck, but you like…relearned how to sew.

Currently all are lost in the wash somewhere, but they were useful while they lasted.

WELL HOT DIGGITY. You somehow accumulated a lot of lace fabric. Because being a hoarder is in your genes. So…you better do something with it. Here’s a (non) tutorial of how to make (cheap af) produce bags out of shit you snuck into your house.

First set up the sewing machine you borrowed 7 months ago from your sister-in-law and have only used once.

Then be un-showered and model all of the lace you’ve accumulated like a habit while drinking cold coffee.

Decide on sewing the red lace you scavenged out of the Reuse centre because you’re too lazy to change the bobbin in the sewing machine from black to white.

Literally don’t measure anything but somehow make two square type pieces of lace and then pin 3 sides together. Feel pretty damn good about yourself for not fucking up the basics.

Sew that bitch together. I used a zig-zag stitch cause this fabric is a bad boy that is barely held together on a good day (aren’t we all?). Remember the wisdom of your 7th grade sewing teacher who explained how to sew the top bit. Whatever it’s called. Do that.

Ponder why you never went into fashion. Sewing is barely hard. This is great. Curse 8th grade sewing class and sitting next to your super crush. Decide you are going to learn how to make a shirt next because fuck, sewing is easy. It’s fine.

Weave a free-cycled piece of elastic through the top bit so you can close your avocados in the bag. (You fucking millennial) ((Also LOL millennials are 30-40 years old now. Suck on them avocados)).

Be extremely thrilled that you didn’t fuck up something simple and call your fiance over facebook chat to model the bag you made out of free shit.

Now go shower. You stink. I can smell you from here.

P.s i still havent showered but i did make 5 more produce bags .