March 7th, 2005

hell&#39;s kitten

feedback appreciated

I'm feeling quite disgruntled about school. Mostly because it just feels like more high school, and I'd been led to believe that college was where you get to choose what you're interested in and what you want to study. Sure, I can understand that the first (and second) year(s) can be getting the basics, the prerequisites, but it feels like someone just keeps telling me "ohp! almost! one more year! you're almost there!" no matter how far I go. Elementary school was preparation for middle school, middle school's just preparation for high school, high school's just preparation for college, and now, college's just preparing me for... more college! It also doesn't help that I don't know what I want to do, and don't have to decide until my third year. I've always been focusing on the film industry. Film production. Television production. Photography. But it seems like any program I could follow that in will require you to write and make a movie, which isn't what I want to do. Not that I don't want to do that, it's just not what I want to do. I don't want to have an important job. I don't want to be the head honcho, I want to work for the head honcho. I dont want to make the decisions, I want to be told what to do, what to shoot, but maybe not how. This isnt a job that I can follow a path in college to (that I can think of).

So I was thinking about alternatives. Psychology came to mind. I've always been interested in figuring people out, figuring out what makes people do what they do, and I like to think that I help my friends with their problems (including a few on my friends list ;) ). This is a path that I can get on now and would enjoy. I might even prefer keeping photography as a hobby instead anyway. More freedom to do what I want.

Dealing with Whitney and figuring her out most likely had an influence on this direction of interest, and so probably did watching a lot of Dr. Melfi. ;)

As it is, I'm finding it hard to trudge through my 13th fucking year of school when I can't see the point or where it's getting me.
hell&#39;s kitten

(no subject)

I saw an ad on tv for fox news, saying it was "the news channel america trusts" and that it's "fair and reliable". My friends and I burst out laughing.