Remember the old Johnny Paycheck song- “take this job and shove it, I ain’t working  here no more”.  Do you have those “days” when  you feel like the job has taken  you  to your limits—a customer yells at you,  you  get blamed for something  you DIDN’T do, someone else  takes the credit for something  you DID do,  conflict and power struggles wear you  down, chaos flares  from  a lack of company  structure,  budget cuts are made,  a merger or acquisition  throws  the rhythm off track, pressure builds  to do more with less,  a slacker’s  behavior impacts   your ability to perform your job, loud coworkers  disrupt your concentration—-and on and on.

Do  you  stay or leave? When do  you say “enough, already”!  It is not always an easy decision. I think it helps to start with some self reflection.   First of all- is the issue really the job or something else? Is it more about  your marriage, challenges with  your children, depression, a health issue, an addiction or another issue that is eating away at  you?   It may be easier to get angry at  your boss than  your spouse!

Second—are you  a good fit for  your  job?  Do  you  have the skills and experience, desire, and personality required  to do  your job well?  Are you  sitting at a desk when  you need to be outdoors? Are you bound to golden handcuffs made of money or status?  Where are you  on a “fit barometer” with  your  job?  Are you  a size 8 trying to fit into a size 2?  Are you managing people when  you  really want to be doing the “hands-on work”?   I once worked with a woman who was an amazing “team player”. She drew people together, had a delightful sense of humor, and was very dedicated to the purpose of the company and yet I saw her burn out.  She was in a position of supervising people and it exhausted her. She needed to be the “cheerleader” and not the boss.

If  you truly are  not dragging around other baggage and dumping it on the job and are a pretty good fit for the position, what might be  your part in the challenges at work?  What role do  you play in the problems at hand?  For example: Do  you fuel conflict—by gossiping? by avoiding confrontation?  by not initiating necessary changes? by not really listening to others? by not sharing information with others? etc. If  you  can take a real honest look at  your behavior,  you  may see potential actions  you  can take to improve the work situation that  you face.

If  you have made an honest appraisal and  don’t see how  you  can impact the work situation to improve it , then one option is to look at ways of changing  your  perception of the situation. When  you look at the behavior of others,  you  often make assumptions about their motives that lead to how  you feel about them. What if  you are off base about their intentions? What else might be driving them to behave the way they do? Another way of reframing  your work situation can be to see it as a training ground for something later that will utilize  your current frustrating experiences in a very beneficial way.  You get the drift….

Let’s say  you  not a good fit for  your  position. Can  you  acknowledge this and see what other options are available within or outside the company? It is helpful to have a good friend, colleague, or mentor help give you feedback  when  you are trying to sort this out. It is important to carefully take time to really get clear about who you are, what your strengths, skills and desires are for  your life ‘s work. Maybe  you  have a long held dream that is ripe for plucking, a desire to return to school, or a yearning to try something totally different. What does your soul long for?   If  your soul is singing a corny western song—it may be time to listen!