The Relationship Agreement for the Modern Nerd

"The Relationship Agreement" is a reference to the TV show "The Big Bang Theory". If you haven't seen it the show focuses on 4 nerdy physicists and their sometimes-nerdy girlfriends. The Relationship Agreement itself is the contract the character Sheldon drew up after he and Amy became boyfriend and girlfriend. It consists of 31 pages and contains such things as:

Section four: "Booboos and ouchies", which states that Amy must help Sheldon when he has a small injury, like a splinter.

Section five: "Handholding", which states that "Handholding is only allowed under the following circumstances: A, either party is in danger of falling off of a cliff, precipice or ledge. B, either party is deserving of a hearty handshake after winning a nobel prize. C, moral support during flu shots."

HOWEVER, that relationship agreement is really the result of Sheldon's paranoia about personal touching, egomania and his difficulty to emotionally bond with others.

What is really needed is a relationship agreement for modern people (including nerds) which outlines how a couple should treat each other and various expectations of how an ideal relationship should work.

Thus I have created (for fun) the following 31 Section Relationship Agreement for the Modern Couple

Section One: Communication


Section Two: Hugging


Section Three: Kissing


Section Four: Booboos and Ouchies


Section Five: Handholding


Section Six: Sex


Section Seven: Birth Control


Section Eight: Having Children


Section Nine: Existing Children


Section Ten: Moving In Together


Section Eleven: Household Chores

Dividing up household chores should be openly discussed and decided upon. Its best to make a list and a schedule. Once the agreement is made each partner is responsible for their own chores and also the manner in which they do it. The other partner should refrain from nagging or complaining about the quality or quantity of how well or how often the other partner achieves their chores. ie. Dishes do not have to be up to "Aunt Edna's Spotless Standards" and partners should smile and bear it when eating food that is slightly burnt or "doesn't taste spicy enough".

Section Twelve: Cleanliness


Section Thirteen: Personal Hygiene


Section Fourteen: Cheating


Section Fifteen: Lies

Little lies are okay. Such as lying about not giving the other partner a surprise birthday party. Big lies that ruin the relationship will not be tolerated. ie. "What do you mean you lied about not still loving your ex and that you've been hanging out with them lately?"

Section Sixteen: Relationship Shenanigans

Playing mental mind games, two-timing, giving the Silent Treatment and other shenanigans are all signs that you are immature and not ready for a committed relationship. Little kids give the Silent Treatment. If you can't communicate openly and honestly then the relationship is over.

Section Seventeen: Discussing Marriage

Discussing marriage on a serious level should only occur AFTER the couple is living together or has been in a serious long term relationship for over 6 months. Mentioning marriage while discussing relationships or someone else's wedding doesn't count. A marriage discussion will consist of spontaneously bringing the topic up and directly the discuss the possibility of both partners getting "hooked up permanently".

Section Eighteen: Relationship Hiccups


Section Nineteen: Relationship Interference


Section Twenty: Being Virtuous


Section Twenty-One: Lust


Section Twenty-Two: Insults


Section Twenty-Three: Domestic Abuse

If one partner physically abuses the other (or a child) the relationship is over. Done. Leave as soon as possible and call the police. Even if you don't press charges, at least get it recorded in case it ever happens again to you or someone else.

Section Twenty-Four: Showing you Care


Section Twenty-Five: Addictions


Section Twenty-Six: Long Distance Travel


Section Twenty-Seven: Humour


Section Twenty-Eight: Marriage

Marriage should be no different than the relationship with one exception: You can't just call it quits on short notice. Even if you encounter difficulties you are expected to try and work through them. Exceptions to this are: Domestic violence, abuse, addictions, cheating and huge lies.

Section Twenty-Nine: Break Ups / Divorce


Section Thirty: After the Break Up

Try to be civil to each other. Being bitter isn't going to make you happy. Forgive and forget. It may take you awhile to stop feeling bitter, but try to remember that the feeling will go away given time and the sooner it goes away the sooner you won't remember their middle name.

Section Thirty-One: Getting Back Together

Hey, it can happen, but don't count your chickens until they hatch. Ask them how they are doing. If they respond positively and ask about seeing you again / mention thinking about you lately that is your cue to ask them out. If they don't mention anything like that then they're just not interested.


  1. I love it. I've been trying to find a full copy of the actual Relationship Agreement between Sheldon and Amy (I figured that the writers of the film would make one for publicity, not to mention the fact that they could sell it in PDF form, even if it was only for a dollar.), but I've been unable to do so.

    Thanks for your time and effort!


  2. Some of this was funny some so very true. Good Job! :)

  3. Dr. Cooper couldn't have said it better himself... but don't tell him I said that! lol :-D

  4. IS this the full relationship agreement?

  5. Sheldon and sex on third date?

  6. i loved it where can i download the whole relationship agreement in pdf format


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