This Eruption in Chile Proves That Volcanoes are the Most Terrifying Natural Disasters

The hot lava is coming for us all one day.

I have three major fears in the world. They are:

  1. Accidentally liking someone’s Instagram from several months ago, thereby making it clear that I’m lurking on their ancient brunch pics.
  2. Ending up old and alone, a.k.a. not boning regularly during my golden years.
  3. Volcanoes.

The first two are fairly reasonable fears, volcanoes less so, but I am an extremely irrational person.

I first trembled at the thought of becoming trapped in the death flow of an erupting hell mountain after seeing “Dante’s Peak” as a child. The late-‘90s disaster film starred Pierce Brosnan as Dr. Harry Dalton, a volcanologist studying a dormant volcano in Washington when the volcano becomes less dormant. Spoiler alert: A GRANDMOTHER WALKS THROUGH AN ACIDIC LAKE AND IS LEFT TO DIE. WHO WRITES THAT INTO A MOVIE? It was a film that left scars.

Last night at 7 PM local time, Calbuco, a volcano in southern Chile reupted for the first time in decades. Thousands of residents were evacuated as the great mountain beast spewed ash, fire and lava thousands of feet into the air, causing lightning swarms and pure, unadulterated horror.

The photos are beautiful and terrifying, and a harrowing reminder that volcanoes will come for us all one day.

Photos by Martin Bernetti/AFP/Getty Images; Associated Press; STR/AFP/Getty Images