Taking Care of Yourself Matters

It is easy to forget about taking care of yourself. Some people even put it off, feeling that self-care is selfish. It is important to remember that taking care of yourself is you taking care of another person; that person just happens to be you. In doing so you put yourself in a better position to help others.



Death Dreams

There is a magical feeling when I look up at the night sky. Each star, winking at us from the past. It is easy to feel very small when compared to the infinite vastness of space and the seer size of the universe. Looking at the stars and taking a minute to be contemplative helps me keep things in perspective. 

During grade school, most of my friends didn’t really talk about space and the stars. I understood if they weren’t into it, yet I couldn’t help but to keep looking up.  Entering adulthood and the information age has been a blessing to me. I found there are tons of people who have similar thoughts and wonders. I can connect easily to them via the internet. Anything I wish to talk or learn about is available. I found an ocean of people looking up at the stars along with me. 

A lot of questions about space and life remain unanswered and, as I get older, I think more and more about death. Death comes to all yet nobody knows what happens. There is a lot of speculation and theories, but nothing solid to put trust in. A recent star-gazing session led me to draw connections between death, space, and my feelings. 

When I leave here, I hope I can travel the universe. I want to bathe in its mysteries. I hope I can be everywhere at once and know all there is to know. I want to hold the universe in my hand, while still being able to experience a ride on an electron. I want to feel every vibration the universe has to offer as my energy is melded into it. I want to live its memories and walk side-by-side with it into its future.


The Mirror

Every time I had an encounter with one manager in particular, it left a bad taste in my mouth. He always rubbed me the wrong way. He was brash, critical, confrontational, always working towards objectives, and broke everything (including people) down into numbers. He wanted everything done now. This worked really well in a business setting, especially as a manager. He just didn’t come across to me as nice or caring, which I held in higher regard. It wasn’t until I started taking a look deep inside myself that I realized we are very a like. The characteristics that pushed me away from him were things I pushed away from myself. I could have easily have been him. Every interaction with him was me interacting with my repressed self. The self that was pushed down from being taught to be nice and patient and to put peoples feeling above business. 

I started seeing myself in everyone and everyone in myself. I took one step closer to feeling the oneness that is the Universe. We are closer than brothers and sisters. 

“Strangers passing in the street, by chance to separate glances meet, and I am you and what I see is me”
–“Echoes” by Pink Floyd




Into the Garage

My spare time has been greatly reduced as more responsibility has been put upon me. Gone are the days of fiddling around and idle thinking. The time I have set aside for constructive outlets (music, painting, think-tanking) has been reduced to almost nil. I found it is critical to take advantage and relish in the little free time I find.

What happens to all of the imagination and creative ideas when there is no time to entertain them?

I have been putting them to the side. New song ideas, poems, short stories; they are all being put in the garage. The good news is, they are stored safely. Every thing used to have it’s own place but the garage is overflowing. I am about to find out what happens once it can’t hold any more.
Will there be a burst of creativity that can’t be stopped, interferring with my responsibilities?
Maybe, like I am doing now, I will make different us of my time.  Instead of working out or eating lunch I am posting this thought dump. It feels like this post is being forced out of the garage window.
Will I be able to sort through the mess when it comes time?
Will I remember my thoughts and intentions?
Will I remember me?

My fear is getting so soaked into these recent responsibilities that I change and I can’t find my core. 


What is Freedom?

I heard a radio commerical for an afternooon radio show on my way into the office. The radio host proclaimed “That’s my idea of freedom!” Which lead me to ask myself the question. “Her idea of freedom? How can freedom be different from one person to the next? Either you are free or your not, right?

The answers weren’t so simple. In a general sense as long as you can do things you want to do without something getting in your way you are free. It looks like freedom is tightly bound to the things a person wants to do, which aren’t universal. The radio host wants the freedom to say what she wants, when she wants. That’s her freedom, not yours. You may find your freedom in getting your driver’s license, voting, dancing, singing, napping, etc. It can be anywhere. 

On the flip side, I don’t think we are ever truly free. We are restricted from true freedom by our biologic needs. We are bound by food, water, medicine, our bodies, etc. Even in death you may not be free to live. 

Somebody saying you are free may be placing their definition on your scenario. You may not feel free due to things they are not taking into account.

I think the idea is to find your idea of freedom and respect the freedom you seek may not be someone elses.


Adaptability – Quick Note

I am always impressed with how adaptable humans are. We are able to survive in a huge spectrum of physical, emotional, and spiritual conditions. Adaptability is one of our greatest strengths. Embracing and understanding this has helped reduce my overall anxiety. Recognizing no matter what happens I can figure out a way through it has increased my confidence. I am upset it took so many years to realize this, but it may be one of those things you have to experience for a while to gain trust in it. Decades of proven results show me things will be OK and I will get through it.


Blurring the Lines

The line between a true memory and something imagined isn’t very clear. They play on the same screen in my mind’s eye. What I did yesterday lives in the same place, with the same clarity, as what I did back in high school. I noticed recently that things I have imagined also live on the same reel of tape. This realization has raised a lot of questions. The journey to answer them has been an enjoyable learning experience. Here are some questions I have been sitting on.

In what ways can imagining a trip or event be a suitable replacement for actually taking one?

How does reading tie into this?

Can I use my imagination to change true events in such a way they are no longer true but appear as a memory? Have I already done this?

Can imagination be used as a self-help tool to boost confidence or increase self-esteem? i.e. Imagining winning awards, helping people, accepting praise from parents and peers.

As I journey through these questions, I am finding a lot of interesting things about the brain, emotions, and spirituality. In regards to reading, it looks like the brain fires in a way that is similar to actually experiencing the event or action you are reading about. 

Things for my readers to contemplate:
Can you distingush a real memory from an imagined one?
Can you alter the memory?
How does it feel when you do?
How sure are you of your memory?
How do you use your imagination in modern day life where so much is laid out for you?


Dreams Coming to Life

This site was more of a dream project than anything else. I bought the domain and web hosting as a proof of concept. The truth is, I would like to actually start using it.  I think there are a lot of people that have busy lives and dream about doing things like this. It seems like some people are able to make that happen while others keep their dreams as dreams. I am in the latter of those groups. A huge percentage of my dreams remain in my head. Resolutions are a bit cliche, but I am going to do it anyway. I am resolving to release my dreams, ideas, and passions on the world. As I get older, the idea of them dying with me is chilling. Somewhere there is another me waiting to read this kind of stuff. I have been told too many times that I need to share my ideas. I am not sure why or what is to come of it, but here we go.  Thanks for joining me on this adventure 


Upcoming Project: The Musical Mole

Music that is played on the radio and on TV is not for everyone. Sadly, people find the popular music that is put in front of them is a reflection of the whole music scene. Musicians come in many varieties and talent levels.  Most of them are never found, they are lost in the internet. This upcoming project will bring some recognition to lesser known musicians. My hope is that when someone thinks that all music sucks and musicians these days have no talent, this project with show them there is hope. There are bands and musicians out there, writing and performing original music they will love.


An Unexpected New Beginning

Last month I received and invoice for some web services I forgot to cancel. It was linked to a site I deleted last year. I took this as a sign to set up a slightly different site. It will be used to showcase my ideas: Music, art, projects, etc… Some will be finished some not so much. It’s an outlet and a way to share with everyone.

Please feel free to comment, question, and provide feedback for things you would like to see. Pages will be added as ideas need to be let out. The loudest will most-likely be posted first.