Crafty Heat Wave Dupes Tree Into Thinking It Spring


The paperbark maple reportedly fell victim to another one of mother nature’s clever schemes.


Reports indicate that a local paperbark maple recently burst into a premature bloom after falling victim to the wily machinations of a particularly strong heat wave.

The heat wave, which had been creeping along the coast for several days, and outwitting a few other deciduous flora on the way, struck the unassuming maple early last Sunday morning. Temperatures rose to an unprecedented fifty degrees, and nearly all the snow in the area melted. Believing spring to be imminent, the paperbark maple began budding.

“You’ve got to feel sorry for it,” remarked botanist Michelle Kwon. “The poor tree was just trying to carry out its biological mechanisms, but some meteorological anomalies get their kicks out of stuff like this.”

The heat wave left the area a few days later, leaving the maple’s buds to be consumed by a harsh frost.

Reports indicated that, despite its unfortunate state, there may still be hope for the maple. “I’ve seen things like this happen before,” Kwon told reporters. “Typically, the trees are weak, and a bit wary for a while, but they usually come back stronger and smarter within the next year.”

At press time, the heat wave was sidling a few bears out of hibernation two months early.

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