Friday, March 26, 2010

Friday: Americans Hate Underdog, Technology, Fast Food, Liberty

If it's sunny and beautiful out, then why is it approximately 30 degrees out? I'll tell you why. Because it's March in Chicago and nobody knows what the hell to expect. It's like magical upside down world out there, where sunny skies means cold, and cloud cover means tolerable.

Do they do comedy in Hawaii?

They do everything in Hawaii.  And I mean Everything.

Why do I live here again?

Something about wanting to live in the Big City.

Ugh.  Let's get this over with.  I want to spend the rest of my day trolling GoogleEarth looking for exotic locales.  What do we have?

College Basketball proves America hates underdogs:  We The People have always had a soft spot for the underdog ever since our birth as a nation of people taking potshots at redcoats from the trees.  If Jay Bilas is to be believed, that has since changed vis-a-vis the current NCAA tournament which has been wildly entertaining due to the constant upsets, double overtime buzzer beaters, etc. etc.  Some team called St. Mary's is in the Sweet Sixteen.  Kansas, the consensus #1 everything ever, is gone.

Apparently, though, this parity is considered "a down year," because there are not enough behemoth teams comprised of NBA bound superfrosh wunderkind glued together by the forces of evil.  The only one that springs to mind is Kentucky and John Calipari.

I humbly disagree.  I have watched more college basketball this year than ever, despite the lack of a rooting interest.

That's because you foolishly filled out a bracket, you degenerate gambler you.

I can't help it.  I've been hooked ever since the Indiana Jones themed slots.  BIG MONEY.  Don't judge me.

::This is me, silently judging you::

Next up?

Ebert Hates Technology: at least, 3D Technology.  According to his twitter: "3-D is a distracting, annoying, anti-realistic, juvenile abomination to us as an excuse for higher prices."  Yes, Ebert.  But so are movies in general.


Can I get a "How droll?"

No.  Next Question: Junk Food Tax: Against it.  Mostly because I like junk food and I hate tax.  There's been a recent surge in public interest in food.  The result of this new found obsession is that you get more interesting websites and blogs about cooking, nutrition related discussions, and the general joys of food.

The downside is you get people running around promoting "fat taxes" and other such abominations meant to dissuade people from living their lives the way they want.  People defend this idea by saying things like, "It's okay, we do it for cigarettes and alcohol" which is like saying "It's okay, those guys already jumped off the bridge, we might as well too." 

The hope is that the government can use the additonal tax money to spend on bureaucratic waste.  You know, like they do with the cigarette and alcohol money.

You're just grumpy because you like junk food.

And booze too.  I like pizza.  Sue me.

Careful what you wish for.

1 comment:

Crump said...

I would love a fat tax if the tax only applied to and had to be paid by companies that load their products with tons of unnecessary fillers and preservatives and if it was coupled with a law saying those companies were not allowed to raise the prices of their products to counteract the tax cost.