Probably the only minority group to back President-elect Donald Trump on anything are the Jews backing his stance on guns. Jews love guns, apparently. I spoke to a member of Jews for the Preservation of Firearms Ownership named Chris. Their logo is an American flag embedded into a Star of David with two assault rifles either side, which should give you some idea of their Politics.

‘The law abiding citizen does not make a habit of shooting people’

Chris believes that even if guns were illegalised in America, the sadists who shoot people for fun would find a way to acquire arms and that legal guns ensure they’re in the right, non-homicidal hands.

He says, “Those who go around shooting people are gangstas and criminals, who regardless of laws remain armed. The law abiding citizen does not make a habit of going around shooting people. If he did, the penalties would put him away. The Second Amendment has been in its current form for over two hundred years.” Gun nuts love the Second Amendment.

Knife attacks in the UK are a ‘joke’

When I pressed Chris on the fact that countries like the UK that have illegalised guns have lower crime rates than in the US, he said, “The people who remain armed in the UK and attack others with a gun are generally criminals – it’s just perhaps that armed attack frequency is less than in [the] US. Attacks by many other means, however, are rife and the joke is that a householder who may just happen to try and defend himself against some thug armed with a knife perhaps, finishes up himself being arrested.

The victim, it seems, is often castigated while the criminal gets away with it. Every person has a right to self-defence.”

But every person should have the right to safety, too. And there are plenty of knife attacks in the US. Chris speaks like knife attacks are exclusive to Britain, like we have knife attacks and they have gun attacks.

We may have knife attacks, but they have knife attacks and gun attacks. They have both.

On defence, I asked Chris why he can’t just feel safe having a baseball bat for defence. He asked me, “So you would feel happy defending yourself with a baseball bat against an attacker armed with a firearm? No contest I’m afraid.” But in an ideal gun-free world, the attacker wouldn’t be armed with a firearm because he wouldn’t have been able to pick it up at 7-Eleven on his way to kill me.

Chris says school shootings are ‘an American phenomenon’

I asked Chris about school shootings and how there has been one in the UK and, at the time of writing (probably a dozen more by the time you read this) 458 in the US. He said, “Indeed they have been an American phenomenon, but that rather proves there are too many illegal guns, and that in turn makes the gun in the home or even on the person even more vital in order to save good people’s lives.”

So what Chris is saying is that basically, he thinks armed people going into schools to kill kids is fine as long as their teachers are packing so they can whip it out for a John Woo-style firefight if the sh*t goes down. Teaching is one of the top ten professions with the highest rates of depression, so arming them would be dangerous.

They could either snap and turn the gun on the kids themselves, or simply blow their brains out in front of the class while they do algebra problems. Either way, not great.

So why Jews and guns?

Finally, I addressed the elephant in the room and asked why Jews specifically like guns He explained, “There are so many Jews who seem to forget history and the Holocaust, and yet who are anti-gun, as if they would prefer to continue being potential victims instead of being able to defend themselves.” Hard to argue with that. As Chris puts it himself, “Many people hate Jews.” Makes sense that a victimised people feel the need to defend themselves. As we wrapped up, Chris said, “I suspect you are a member of those groups who probably will never change their minds!” which is without a doubt the blackest pot to ever call the kettle black.