March 2020 Birth Club

Not sure what to do about this...

A little background info on our little man... he's 10.5 months old and is the happiest little dude. The only time he will cry or get remotely fussy is when he's tired, hungry, or not feeling well. This isn't just a "mom/dad" comment, we have heard this from everyone who has cared for him. 

He has been attending an early head start classroom for four months and every day they'd tell us how great he is. Even teachers from other classrooms would tell us they loved how he was always smiling and so much fun. Drop offs/pick ups filled my cup every day. It just feels good knowing people love your baby as much as you do. 

Recently, he had a new teacher start in his classroom. (So it's now her and his original teacher from when he started together) But ever since she started things have gone down hill. I really liked her from the start, she seemed like she knew what she was doing and always would tell me about his day. The past two weeks though, any time we pick him up, they suddenly have some type of complaint. It's usually he didn't nap well or he was "so clingy and they couldn't leave him alone or get anything done." 

For the naps, his paper says he sleeps for an hour or more every day which is pretty normal for him at school. I have told them multiple times that we put him down around 10am and he'll sleep for about an hour and a half and then he'll take another 45 min - 1 hour nap in the afternoon. They've ignored this and continue to put him down at noon every day claiming they're prepping him to move to the toddler classroom (which isn't for another 6 months). 

As for the clinginess, I'm at a complete loss. He's never been a clingy baby. I thought maybe he was getting some teeth but his gums aren't looking swollen or red at all. When I get there to pick him up he's usually playing fine independently. When I get him home, he's fine. When he goes to his back up daycare or grandmas, he's fine. 

I'm not trying to discredit his teachers because there obviously is a chance he is clingy there, but I don't know what to do to fix it since no one else is seeing the same issues? 

Has anyone dealt with a similar situation? If so how did you move forward? 



comments (9)

  • I think it could just be a developmental change for baby and is normal.

    My baby has a very similar temperament- very happy and easy going. When we go for walks everyone makes comments that she is just so alert and happy all the time.

    She is still a very happy baby- but she definitely has moments of clingy-ness and wants more cuddles.

    As for the naps- I’ve found that 2 naps a day is still what works for nighttime sleep for us... and it’s still developmentally appropriate. I probably wouldn’t talk to them as much about the behavior and insist that they go back to a two nap schedule. Tell them in 4 months that you guys can revisit the 1 nap schedule and it can be something that you implement at home too so it’s a smooth transition.

    I wonder if the nap change may have contributed to the behavior changes?
  • Check out the WonderWeeks App. It's got money attached to it, but it nailed everything on the head whenever he's clingy, he's going through a leap.

  • Laura9735 said:
    I think it could just be a developmental change for baby and is normal…

    His dad was wondering if he's not just starting to realize that he's at school and mom and dad aren't there... but I thought it was weird that if we bring him to his other daycare, he's just fine.

    I'm thinking it's the nap time switch as well. I'll tell them when I drop off next week to try laying him down for his nap earlier and see if there is any change for them.

  • Multh said:

    Check out the WonderWeeks App. It's got money attached to it, but i…

    We have wonder weeks and it has been so helpful! He's coming up to the end of his 7th leap. It definitely could be related... I just think it's weird that he's only showing this fussiness/clinginess when he's at school.

    To put it in perspective, last week, he attended school Monday, tuesday and Thursday and Friday. They were closed on Wednesday for a training day. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday, he was supposedly clingy and crabby, to the point that they called me Friday to come grab him. When I picked him up he was fine and when we got home he was fine.

    On Wednesday, he went to our back up in home daycare. She said he was happy as could be and had no problems, haha. I'm just so confused by this situation.

  • it could be the leap. Usually when it's a problem with a care provider they would be clingy with you and fearful of them. My son is usually pretty mild mannered unless he's hungry or has a really bad diaper. We do have our fair share of clingy days due to teeth or leap or growth spurt.

  • Question, when he went to the daycare on Wednesday did they have him take one nap or two? All I know is if I tried to give my 10mo only one nap a day he’d be crabby too.

  • Angelica1932 said:

    Question, when he went to the daycare on Wednesday did they have hi…

    She only gave him one nap, but he fell asleep in the car on the way home which would be his *typical* afternoon nap time so technically two
  • So, for me personally, I would think that something else is going on at the school. If all these changes started at the same time as this new teacher, that would raise a red flag for me. If he is fine and acting normal everywhere else, then I wouldn't believe it is a developmental thing because he would be showing these different behaviors everywhere. I would ask more questions to the teacher(s) there that you trust. Tell them exactly what you said here and that his behavior changes only when at that daycare and only since the new teacher arrived, maybe they can keep a closer eye on the situation. If they brush you off as unimportant or think you're overreacting, I hate to say it but I would find a new daycare. They are supposed to be there to address your concerns and care for your baby first and foremost. I'm honestly surprised they haven't brought up the sudden changes with you and ask YOU questions. They are around him the most and should notice those things. On top of that they are messing up his schedule by not adhering to your sleep schedule, they should not have to "transition" to toddler sleep 6 months early.
  • It could be separation anxiety ( which happens around 9 or 10 months) and the fact that he has a new teacher isn't helping. My 9 1/2 month old is going through it too.