Monday, January 07, 2013

and then

Just a few bullet points, because it's Monday and yeah. Reasons.

  • If being a vampire were possible, I would consider it. My body seems to want to sleep in the day and be awake at night. DAMN YOU BODY.
  • Tonight is The Bachelor, dudes. I'm going to blog about it, which is probably going to make my husband a little ragey. But it's fun, right? Right. I'll try to pick the winner again. 
  • In the "truth is stranger than fiction" category: This morning four teen boys stole a mobile pet spa and drove it straight into the store front of a smoke shop called Up In Smoke. It's near my house. These so-called "smoke shops." Look. I'm ok with people smoking The Dope, but now that I'm a home owner I just don't want smoke shops near my house. PROPERTY VALUES.
  • I haven't had any alcohol since New Year's Eve and no chocolate in several days. I don't even know myself anymore. I'M LOSING MY IDENTITY.
  • Omagawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwd Downton Abbey, dudes. When I watch it I feel like I'm playing British Barbie. I don't even know why I love this show so much. I JUST DO. 
  • This capitalized statement thing I'm doing has the potential to become annoying, I realize. SORRY.
  • I have three words for you. Pork. Skillet. Pie. Major deliciousness. You could alternately make it more low-fat by using ground turkey and I think it would still be enormously delicious. 
  • I'm wearing yoga pants at the moment, and coming to a full appreciation for them. I understand why I see chicks wearing yoga pants everydamnwhere. So comfy! But seriously, dudes. HAVE YOU GIVEN UP ON LIFE.
  • Our dear friend had her baby this weekend! Major congratulations to Catprick, Meagan, and Avery! I think all of the above are hugely relieved that the pregnancy portion of this adventure is complete. 
  •  Oh, also, people who tell pregnant people or new parents that they will never sleep again? HERE IS YOUR AWARD FOR ORIGINALITY. Also, thanks for being so encouraging. Go dig a ditch. TO HELL.  
  • I have now hidden so many "friends" on Facebook that Facebook has officially lost its purpose. Also, Facebook never shows me updates from my actual friends, so ...? The fuck, Facebook? My feed is just full of news bulletins from NPR and io9. Strongly considering quitting it altogether because I believe it's contributing to the demise of our society.
  • In re-reading the above bulletins I have concluded I am cranky because 1) No sleep 2) Facebook 3) No chocolate. Au revoir.


  1. Yay! Yay! Yay! I can't wait to read your Bachelor recaps.

    1. I think I need to start drinking now so they'll be more entertaining.

  2. I just turned on "The Bachelor" accidentally and then came to this post. If I watched it, it'd be my first time. I just saw Sean BREAK THE RULES! And then the sad, sad girl with the awkward silence trying to look cute.

    1. Everyone's got to have a schtick on that show. Drives me batty.

  3. I am totally making that pie. You have never steered me wrong before.

    1. Do it! It's so good! I forgot to mention it's also fabulous with a little tobasco sauce.

  4. Ha- finally catching up on something other than baby! I am thrilled the pregnancy part is over. Thanks for the shout-out and we're looking forward to seeing you guys soon!

    And I second your statement about everyone telling someone with a new baby that they'll never sleep again. Thanks for the helpful tip, geniuses, and suck it! While we're at it, please tell me that babies like to cry, eat, and you'll be changing a lot of diapers. A reminder of your lack of sleep is the LAST thing you need to hear when you're going on 2 hours of sleep!

    See you guys SOON!!!!

    Meagan (and P & A!)