Jokes and Funny Video


Boy: Marry me?
Girl: Do you have a house..? 
Boy: No. 
Girl: Do you have a BMW car? 
Boy: No. 
Girl: How much is your salary?
 Boy: No salary, but…
 Girl: No but. You have nothing. How can I marry you??  Leave please! 
Boy: (talk to himself) I have one villa, 3  property lands, 3 Ferrari, 2 Porsche…
Why I  still need to buy BMW?! How can I get the  salary when actually I am the BOSS 

Dad: Say daddy!
Baby: Mommy!
Dad: Come on, say daddy!
Baby: Mommy!
Dad: F*ck you, say daddy!
Baby: F*ck you, Mommy!
Mom: Honey, I’m home!
Baby: F*ck you!
Mom: Who taught you that?
Baby: Daddy!
Dad: Son of a b*tch.

Coach: Okay class, today we are going to play a game.
When I say a fruit, you run to the right side of the court. And when I say a color, you run to the left side of the court.
Got it?
 Class: Got it.
 Coach: Okay… Ready, set… ORANGE!

The jokes are from

Man: What’s the problem officer?
Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.
Man: No sir, I was going 65.
Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I’m also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.
Man: Broken tail light? I didn’t know about a broken tail light!
Wife: Oh Harry, you’ve known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I’m also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
 Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.
Man: Shut your mouth, woman!
Cop: Ma’am, does your husband always talk to you this way?
 Wife: No, only when he’s drunk.

The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray,
“Take only one. God is watching.”
One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

An elderly Canadian gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.
The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.
 “Impossible, Canadians always have to show your passports on arrival in France!” The Canadian senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look, then he quietly explained,

The jokes are from

Funny magic show

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