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32 Things Gay Asian Men Are Really Tired Of Hearing

"Me: *breathes* White man: you're so ~exoticccc~?

Let's just get one thing straight: gay Asians (gaysians if you're sassy) are a gift from the heavens to a world that would be tragically boring without them.

Will Varner/BuzzFeed

But for some reason, even in this blessed age, gaysians STILL have to put up with some rude, racist, and completely bonkers crazy talk! Here are some cringeworthy examples of what some gaysians told us they are so tired of hearing. Let's get right into it, shall we?

1. "You have a big dick, for an Asian." "......"

—Sid (25, Chinese, gay)

2. When I’m with an Asian-American friend who is the token in a big group of white gays and I find out that they have a low-key racist nickname like “Panda.” Once I was picking an ex up from drinking and his friends kept saying he was their "little Korean boy" and I almost got into a fight.

—Sean (28, Japanese American, queer)

3. "No offense, but I don't think Asian guys are attractive."

—Anonymous (28, Taiwanese, gay)

4. There seems to be this unsaid rule that old white daddies totally have a shot with all gaysians.

—G. Chang (30, Taiwanese, gay)

5. "Filipino? Is that even Asian?"

—Adrien Dacquel (28, Filipino-Chinese, gay)

Fullscreen / Via

6. "What do you mean you're not a bottom?"

—G. Chang (30, Taiwanese, gay)

7. "I love Asians!"

—Aaron (30, Chinese, gay)

8. A lot of the guys that I've gone on dates with expect me to be a lot more submissive and let them take the lead on things, make all of the decisions, etc.

—Liem Ho (21, Vietnamese, gay)

Logo / Via

9. When Asian people say any permutation of “Asians who date white people are whitewashed."

—Sean (28, Japanese-American, queer)

10. With sex, especially on apps, guys will just presume I'm a bottom and ask to see pics of my butthole!

—Liem Ho (21, Vietnamese, gay)

11. This special moment.

Me: *breathes* White Gay Man: you're so 🌈exoticccc~🌈 Me:

—Lowell Acorda (27, Filipino-Canadian, queer)

12. "This is my first time dating an Asian. I'm not usually into Asian guys."

—Ryan Jordan (27, Filipino, gay)

13. When I’m with another Asian guy, I often get asked if they’re my brother/family/etc.

—James (36, American-born Korean, gay)

Giphy / Via

14. Random person: "So what's your ethnicity?" Me: "Half Filipino and half white." RP (in an almost relieved voice): "Oh, you're only half. You don't even look that Asian. Thankfully, you're so tall." As if, were I a short smooth Asian with more predominant Asian eyes, I wouldn't meet the standard of beauty.

—Justin Arroyo (30; half Filipino, half white; gay)

15. Most of the microagressions happen during the selection process. The "No Fats, No Femmes, No Asians" I encounter on apps really keep me from even getting to the table.

—Dennis H. (34, Vietnamese, gay)

16. "Yoga is my everything. Look, I'll show you some of my poses."

—Anonymous (40, Indian-American, gay)

Miramax / Via

17. I think it's sad that there isn't more of a nurturing gaysian community. It feels inherently competitive — if anyone has a white or Latino boyfriend, that boyfriend is automatically classified as a "rice queen" by other gaysians...and then it's like, the prowl is on!

—G. Chang (30, Taiwanese, gay)

18. Really sick of people saying to my ex partners, "I didn't know you had yellow fever."

—Justin Wee (25, Chinese-Malaysian-Australian, gay)

19. "What's the difference between Chinese and Japanese food?"

—Adrien Dacquel (28, Filipino-Chinese, gay)

Seoul Broadcasting System / Via

20. "I don't like Asian guys, but I like their culture."

—Sato (26, Japanese-American, gay)

21. One comment that turns me off all the time is "You must be really smooth." Because for some unknown reason we can't have a stitch of body hair?

—Paul X. (39, Laotian-Vietnamese, gay)

Giphy / Via

22. Tired of other gaysians/Asians who won't say BLACK LIVES MATTER.

Ken Tran (28, Chinese-Vietnamese-Burmese, gay/queer)

23. "How do you speak English so well?"

—Aaron (30, Chinese, gay)

Time / Via

24. "Ni hao!" ... bitch please, I used to be an English tutor in high school and don't even speak Mandarin.

Marcos Chin (42, Chinese, gay)

25. As someone who is half Filipino, I get tired of people referencing how much someone loves pancit or lumpia when trying to relate to the culture. We are not just a noodle dish and egg rolls, lol.

—Anonymous (35, white/Filipino [Pacific Islander], gay)

Logo / Via

26. "OMG I know someone who's exactly like you! You remind me of him so much!!!" Like sorry, boo, but you just know another brown gay person. The first couple times I didn't care, but it happens So. Much.

Aaron Fernandez (23, Filipino-Mexican, gay)

27. When people assume I need a sugar daddy! *plays Shangela Untucked GIF*



28. Random guy: "What are you?" Me: American. RG: No, where are you from? Me: Texas. RG: No, I mean, where were you born? Me: "New Jersey..."

—Nic Aldana (39, Filipino, gay)

29. Guy at a bar: "So, do you really have a small dick?" Me: "Uhh, excuse you...?" Guy: "Why don't you come over later and prove me wrong?"

—J.J. Jue (28, Chinese, gay)

ABC / Via

30. Do your parents want you to have an arranged marriage to a woman still?

—Anonymous (36, Indian and gay)

31. The worst one is if an Asian guy is dating a cute white guy. People say, "That guy must be a rice queen!" Biggest insult!

—Lysander (34, Filipino, gay)

32. "You're not like other gay Asians. Maybe you're not gay."

—Alistaire Jacob Bilas (38, Filipino, gay)

Logo / Via

Keep your head up, my magnificent gaysians, and shine on like the true miracles you are!

Submissions have been lightly edited for length/clarity.

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