What Dietitians Think

What Dietitians Think

It was National Dietitian’s Day yesterday and a fellow colleague asked Dietitians how they know they are in face Dietitians’s. Some of these are priceless and thought I would share along with you all.
Happy Registered Dietitian Day!
MARCH 14, 2018

In honor of Registered Dietitian Day (one of the best holidays out there by the way), I asked some fellow dietitians to finish this sentence- “You know you are a Registered Dietitian when…”

Here’s what they had to say:

You know you are a Registered Dietitian when…
“someone calls you a nutritionist.”

“you feel like you need a mask every time you go through the drive through at McDonald’s.”

“you get annoyed when someone asks you if you’re a REGISTERED dietitian vs just being a dietitian.”

“everyone in your building tells you not to judge their lunch.”

“you were an avocado for Halloween 9 months pregnant and it was the best costume you’ve ever done.”

“your friends say don’t judge me when we go out to eat together! Also when I can’t help but I always look at what people are buying at the grocery store.”

“FNCE feels like Halloween because of all the free swag and samples.”

“our child’s friend asks where all the candy is and your child replies, “we don’t have candy – but we have almonds!”

“everyone asks you for a meal plan!”

“Dr.Oz is your worst nightmare.”

“others feel the need to justify to you what they eat. In actuality, we don’t judge and we enjoy treats too!

“your child asks what a Twinkie is.”
“people say “so you tell people what to eat?”

“you have to have a cease-and-desist chat with your husband about the fact that he calls you the Walking Contradiction in public for ordering pasta when out to eat.”

“banana “nice” cream is dessert.”

“people think you LOVE veggies and salad.”

“your receptionists hide around the corner eating cake at the office.”

“you bump into a patient at the grocery store who sees me buying a huge box of Easter eggs… And i get ‘the look’… Like how dare I!?”

“your patients announce themselves at reception for the ‘fat doctor.”

“people spell dietitian with a “c” and you can’t help but flip out.”

“people immediately ask for a meal plan when they find out what you do for a living!”

“so you eat pizza/cookies/chocolate, too?? Or…so you DON’T eat superfoods??”

“people you just met ask you how to lose belly fat.”

” you get super excited about fiber.”

” you can barely handle the anticipation of the release of the new Dietary Guidelines for Americans. (Fingers crossed you agree with the changes).”

“talking about poop habits doesn’t make you uncomfortable.”
“everyone around you makes excuses for what they’re eating assuming you’re judging them (and you’re not).”

“someone finds out what you do and immediately wants to tell you what they ate yesterday or about a family member who has diabetes and asks what you would suggest.”

“people ask you if paleo, whole 30, or Keto is healthier.”

“you still have your 3 day food record from Nutrition 101.”

“you get excited about the Bristol Stool Chart.”

“you think “protein coagulates” every time you cook eggs.”

“you realize people think you went to school to study fad diets.”

“you’re exercising and you start thinking about what macro stores you’re tapping into for energy.”

“you’ve killed a million trees trying to memorize the entire Krebs cycle.”

“you mix regular Cheerios with Honey Nut Cheerios (which entails dumping two boxes of cereal in a giant bowl, mixing and putting it back in the boxes) so there’s a little less sugar!”

“you are every grocery shoppers nightmare because you slow down the aisles reading labels.”
“you have to go to the farmers market in every city you are traveling to.”

“you always have a snack in your bag or car–usually nuts/seeds.”

“you and your coworkers talk about each other’s bowel movements without judgement.”

“you get aggravated that people confuse you to be just like a “Nutritionist.”

“you go to a 6 hour workshop and bring your breakfast AND lunch to it!”

“you ask a random mom if their kid has food allergies by looking at their sweet face!”

“someone tells you they are going gluten free and you’re tempted to ask them if they even know what gluten is.”

“you are fortunate to have a wonderful husband who forgives you for the 34 years of food experiments.”

“you fondly remember your hairnet collection.”

“you walk into a patient’s room and they tell you they want the steak and lobster or “I’m on the see food diet.”

“it’s your life mission to convince doctors that low albumin is not a sign of malnutrition.”

“you feel the need to give a thorough explanation every time someone sees you or your child is eating fast food.”

“people start self reporting their food intake to you without being asked, or comment on what’s in your grocery cart that time you stopped in just for milk, frozen waffles and candy.”

“people you barely know ask if they could meet for coffee to “pick your brain” about “this nutrition thing.”

“your boyfriend comments that he’s eaten more vegetables – and enjoyed them – in the first year of dating than in his entire life preceding.”

“your husband refers to you and your friends as the diet police.”
“people think you follow a vegan diet because it’s the “healthiest” diet.”

“a beautiful head of lettuce makes your day”

“you add ground flax to every loaf of banana bread and all pancakes coming from your kitchen (and your kids are shocked when they have those things at friends’ houses “Mom, did you know that their pancakes are actually white inside?”

“you could recite the Krebs cycle in your sleep”

“you get a text from another parent during the pre-K Valentine’s Day Party that your daughter just said, “you guys, we don’t really have any healthy stuff here.”

“my husband was my boyfriend and brought me gluten-free donuts because he knew I was a dietitian and thought that it would be a healthier choice and something I’d like…#idonthaveceliacsoraglutenintolerance”

“your husband knows not to even think about adding soda or Twinkies to the cart”

“everyone at the party wants to talk to you about their bowel patterns. Or carbs.”

“your husband says: Dietitians always order their salad dressing on the side!”

“Your old boyfriend calls you a Rabbitarian. Then complains that their next partner “doesn’t serve enough vegetables!”

“You hate shopping except when it’s food, especially at the farmers market.”

I don’t know about you, but these definitely describe the life of a dietitian.

Happy Registered Dietitian Day!

Thank you Angelica Lee