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SermonIndex.net : Christian Books : CHAPTER 36 RASKOLNIKOV walked after him.à

Crime And Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky

CHAPTER 36 RASKOLNIKOV walked after him.à

RASKOLNIKOV walked after him.

|What's this?| cried Svidrigailov turning round, |I thought I said...|

|It means that I am not going to lose sight of you now.|



|From all your half tipsy stories,| Raskolnikov observed harshly, |I am positive that you have not given up your designs on my sister, but are pursuing them more actively than ever. I have learnt that my sister received a letter this morning. You have hardly been able to sit still all this time.... You may have unearthed a wife on the way, but that means nothing. I should like to make certain myself.|


|Upon my word! I'll call the police!|

|Call away!|

Again they stood for a minute facing each other. At last Svidrigailov's face changed. Having satisfied himself that Raskolnikov was not frightened at his threat, he assumed a mirthful and friendly air.

|What a fellow! I purposely refrained from referring to your affair, though I am devoured by curiosity. It's a fantastic affair. I've put it off till another time, but you're enough to rouse the dead.... Well, let us go, only I warn you beforehand I am only going home for a moment, to get some money; then I shall lock up the flat, take a cab and go to spend the evening at the Islands. Now, now are you going to follow me?|



|No matter, I'll come all the same.|

|As you like, it's nothing to me, but I won't come with you; here we are at home. By the way, I am convinced that you regard me with suspicion just because I have shown such delicacy and have not so far troubled you with questions... you understand? It struck you as extraordinary; I don't mind betting it's that. Well, it teaches one to show delicacy!|

|And to listen at doors!|

|Ah, that's it, is it?| laughed Svidrigailov. |Yes, I should have been surprised if you had let that pass after all that has happened. Ha-ha! Though I did understand something of the pranks you had been up to and were telling Sofya Semyonovna about, what was the meaning of it? Perhaps I am quite behind the times and can't understand. For goodness' sake, explain it, my dear boy. Expound the latest theories!|

|You couldn't have heard anything. You're making it all up!|


|I'm not thinking of that at all,| Raskolnikov interrupted with disgust.


|You seem trying to enrage me, to make me leave you.|


Svidrigailov was already in the carriage. Raskolnikov decided that his suspicions were at least for that moment unjust. Without answering a word he turned and walked back towards the Hay Market. If he had only turned round on his way he might have seen Svidrigailov get out not a hundred paces off, dismiss the cab and walk along the pavement. But he had turned the corner and could see nothing. Intense disgust drew him away from Svidrigailov.

|To think that I could for one instant have looked for help from that coarse brute, that depraved sensualist and blackguard!| he cried.

Raskolnikov's judgment was uttered too lightly and hastily: there was something about Svidrigailov which gave him a certain original, even a mysterious character. As concerned his sister, Raskolnikov was convinced that Svidrigailov would not leave her in peace. But it was too tiresome and unbearable to go on thinking and thinking about this.


He met her at the entrance to the bridge, but passed by without seeing her. Dounia had never met him like this in the street before and was struck with dismay. She stood still and did not know whether to call to him or not. Suddenly she saw Svidrigailov coming quickly from the direction of the Hay Market.


That was what Dounia did. She stole by her brother and went up to Svidrigailov.


|Well, we've turned the corner now,| Dounia interrupted, |and my brother won't see us. I have to tell you that I am going no further with you. Speak to me here. You can tell it all in the street.|

|In the first place, I can't say it in the street; secondly, you must hear Sofya Semyonovna too; and, thirdly, I will show you some papers.... Oh well, if you won't agree to come with me, I shall refuse to give any explanation and go away at once. But I beg you not to forget that a very curious secret of your beloved brother's is entirely in my keeping.|

Dounia stood still, hesitating, and looked at Svidrigailov with searching eyes.

|What are you afraid of?| he observed quietly. |The town is not the country. And even in the country you did me more harm than I did you.|

|Have you prepared Sofya Semyonovna?|



|Though I know that you are not a man... of honour, I am not in the least afraid of you. Lead the way,| she said with apparent composure, but her face was very pale.

Svidrigailov stopped at Sonia's room.

|Allow me to inquire whether she is at home.... She is not. How unfortunate! But I know she may come quite soon. If she's gone out, it can only be to see a lady about the orphans. Their mother is dead.... I've been meddling and making arrangements for them. If Sofya Semyonovna does not come back in ten minutes, I will send her to you, to-day if you like. This is my flat. These are my two rooms. Madame Resslich, my landlady, has the next room. Now, look this way. I will show you my chief piece of evidence: this door from my bedroom leads into two perfectly empty rooms, which are to let. Here they are... You must look into them with some attention.|

Svidrigailov occupied two fairly large furnished rooms. Dounia was looking about her mistrustfully, but saw nothing special in the furniture or position of the rooms. Yet there was something to observe, for instance, that Svidrigailov's flat was exactly between two sets of almost uninhabited apartments. His rooms were not entered directly from the passage, but through the landlady's two almost empty rooms. Unlocking a door leading out of his bedroom, Svidrigailov showed Dounia the two empty rooms that were to let. Dounia stopped in the doorway, not knowing what she was called to look upon, but Svidrigailov hastened to explain.


|You listened?|

|Yes, I did. Now come back to my room; we can't sit down here.|





|Don't torment me. Speak, speak!|


|Surely that's not the only thing you are building on?|


|It cannot be,| muttered Dounia, with white lips. She gasped for breath. |It cannot be. There was not the slightest cause, no sort of ground.... It's a lie, a lie!|


|But how could he steal, rob? How could he dream of it?| cried Dounia, and she jumped up from the chair. |Why, you know him, and you've seen him, can he be a thief?|

She seemed to be imploring Svidrigailov; she had entirely forgotten her fear.


|What... were the causes?|

|It's a long story, Avdotya Romanovna. Here's... how shall I tell you?- A theory of a sort, the same one by which I for instance consider that a single misdeed is permissible if the principal aim is right, a solitary wrongdoing and hundreds of good deeds! It's galling too, of course, for a young man of gifts and overweening pride to know that if he had, for instance, a paltry three thousand, his whole career, his whole future would be differently shaped and yet not to have that three thousand. Add to that, nervous irritability from hunger, from lodging in a hole, from rags, from a vivid sense of the charm of his social position and his sister's and mother's position too. Above all, vanity, pride and vanity, though goodness knows he may have good qualities too.... I am not blaming him, please don't think it; besides, it's not my business. A special little theory came in too- a theory of a sort- dividing mankind, you see, into material and superior persons, that is persons to whom the law does not apply owing to their superiority, who make laws for the rest of mankind, the material, that is. It's all right as a theory, une theorie comme une autre. Napoleon attracted him tremendously, that is, what affected him was that a great many men of genius have not hesitated at wrongdoing, but have overstepped the law without thinking about it. He seems to have fancied that he was a genius too- that is, he was convinced of it for a time. He has suffered a great deal and is still suffering from the idea that he could make a theory, but was incapable of boldly overstepping the law, and so he is not a man of genius. And that's humiliating for a young man of any pride, in our day especially....|

|But remorse? You deny him any moral feeling then? Is he like that?|




|I want to see Sofya Semyonovna,| Dounia articulated faintly. |How do I go to her? She has come in, perhaps. I must see her at once. Perhaps she...|

Avdotya Romanovna could not finish. Her breath literally failed her.


|Ah, then you are lying! I see... you were lying... lying all the time.... I don't believe you! I don't believe you!| cried Dounia, completely losing her head.

Almost fainting, she sank on to a chair which Svidrigailov made haste to give her.

|Avdotya Romanovna, what is it? Control yourself! Here is some water. Drink a little....|



|Cruel man! To be able to jeer at it! Let me go...|

|Where are you going?|



|How can you save him? Can he really be saved?|

Dounia sat down. Svidrigailov sat down beside her.

|It all depends on you, on you, on you alone,| he begin with glowing eyes, almost in a whisper and hardly able to utter the words for emotion.


|You... one word from you, and he is saved. I.... I'll save him. I have money and friends. I'll send him away at once. I'll get a passport, two passports, one for him and one for me. I have friends... capable people.... If you like, I'll take a passport for you... for your mother.... What do you want with Razumihin? I love you too.... I love you beyond everything.... Let me kiss the hem of your dress, let me, let me.... The very rustle of it is too much for me. Tell me, 'do that,' and I'll do it. I'll do everything. I will do the impossible. What you believe, I will believe. I'll do anything- anything! Don't, don't look at me like that. Do you know that you are killing me?...|

He was almost beginning to rave.... Something seemed suddenly to go to his head. Dounia jumped up and rushed to the door.

|Open it! Open it!| she called, shaking the door. |Open it! Is there no one there?|


|There is no one at home,| he said quietly and emphatically. |The landlady has gone out, and it's waste of time to shout like that. You are only exciting yourself uselessly.|

|Where is the key? Open the door at once, at once, base man!|

|I have lost the key and cannot find it.|

|This is an outrage,| cried Dounia, turning pale as death. She rushed to the furthest corner, where she made haste to barricade herself with a little table.



|You spoke of outrage just now, Avdotya Romanovna. In that case you may be sure I've taken measures. Sofya Semyonovna is not at home. The Kapernaumovs are far away- there are five locked rooms between. I am at least twice as strong as you are and I have nothing to fear, besides. For you could not complain afterwards. You surely would not be willing actually to betray your brother? Besides, no one would believe you. How should a girl have come alone to visit a solitary man in his lodgings? So that even if you do sacrifice your brother, you could prove nothing. It is very difficult to prove an assault, Avdotya Romanovna.|

|Scoundrel!| whispered Dounia indignantly.

|As you like, but observe I was only speaking by way of a general proposition. It's my personal conviction that you are perfectly right- violence is hateful. I only spoke to show you that you need have no remorse even if... you were willing to save your brother of your own accord, as I suggest to you. You would be simply submitting to circumstances, to violence, in fact, if we must use that word. Think about it. Your brother's and your mother's fate are in your hands. I will be your slave... all my life... I will wait here.|


|Aha! So that's it, is it?| he cried, surprised but smiling maliciously. |Well, that completely alters the aspect of affairs. You've made things wonderfully easier for me, Avdotya Romanovna. But where did you get the revolver? Was it Mr. Razumihin? Why, it's my revolver, an old friend! And how I've hunted for it! The shooting lessons I've given you in the country have not been thrown away.|


|But your brother? I ask from curiosity,| said Svidrigailov, still standing where he was.

|Inform, if you want to! Don't stir! Don't come nearer! I'll shoot! You poisoned your wife, I know; you are a murderer yourself!| She held the revolver ready.

|Are you so positive I poisoned Marfa Petrovna?|

|You did! You hinted it yourself! you talked to me of poison.... I know you went to get it... you had it in readiness.... It was your doing.... It must have been your doing.... Scoundrel!|

|Even if that were true, it would have been for your sake... you would have been the cause.|

|You are lying! I hated you always, always....|


|That's a lie,| there was a flash of fury in Dounia's eyes, |that's a lie and a libel!|

|A lie? Well, if you like, it's a lie. I made it up. Women ought not to be reminded of such things,| he smiled. |I know you will shoot, you pretty wild creature. Well, shoot away!|


|The wasp has stung me. She aimed straight at my head. What's this? Blood?| he pulled out his handkerchief to wipe the blood, which flowed in a thin stream down his right temple. The bullet seemed to have just grazed the skin.

Dounia lowered the revolver and looked at Svidrigailov not so much in terror as in a sort of wild amazement. She seemed not to understand what she was doing and what was going on.

|Well, you missed! Fire again, I'll wait,| said Svidrigailov softly, still smiling, but gloomily. |If you go on like that, I shall have time to seize you before you cock again.|

Dounia started, quickly cocked the pistol and again raised it.

|Let me be,| she cried in despair. |I swear I'll shoot again. I... I'll kill you.|

|Well... at three paces you can hardly help it. But if you don't... then.| His eyes flashed and he took two steps forward. Dounia shot again: it missed fire.


He stood facing her, two paces away, waiting and gazing at her with wild determination, with feverishly passionate, stubborn, set eyes. Dounia saw that he would sooner die than let her go. |And... now, of course she would kill him, at two paces!| Suddenly she flung away the revolver.

|She's dropped it!| said Svidrigailov with surprise, and he drew a deep breath. A weight seemed to have rolled from his heart- perhaps not only the fear of death; indeed he may scarcely have felt it at that moment. It was the deliverance from another feeling, darker and more bitter, which he could not himself have defined.


|Let me go,| Dounia implored. Svidrigailov shuddered. Her voice now was quite different.

|Then you don't love me?| he asked softly. Dounia shook her head.

|And... and you can't? Never?| he whispered in despair.


There followed a moment of terrible, dumb struggle in the heart of Svidrigailov. He looked at her with an indescribable gaze. Suddenly he withdrew his arm, turned quickly to the window and stood facing it. Another moment passed.

|Here's the key.|


|Take it! Make haste!|


|Make haste! Make haste!| repeated Svidrigailov, still without turning or moving. But there seemed a terrible significance in the tone of that |make haste.|



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