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The Crucial Role of the “Third” in Bully/Victim Dynamics

Bullies intimidate and coerce as well as abuse victims. They may also influence both victims and bystanders to actively and/or passively encourage them. Effective bullying interventions must address the complex, triadic interactions between bullies, victims and bystanders that perpetuate these destructive power dynamics. Psychotherapists and psychoanalysts often encounter similar power struggles in their work. Barely conscious sadomasochistic dynamics interfere with efforts to be helpful. The psychoanalytic concept of the “symbolic third” offers the clinician a way to step back and to monitor coercive power dynamics in the dyadic treatment relationship. Ogden's “intersubjective third” expands the concept of the third to emphasize the potential benefits of the complex, shared unconscious space created by the therapeutic dyad (Ogden, 1994). More recently, Benjamin introduced the idea of a “moral third”. The “moral third” adds an essential dimension of “uncertainty, humility and compassion” to the role of the third (Benjamin, 2004). The moral third parallels the vital role of the helpful bystander who has the moral conviction and courage to disrupt the power imbalance in the bully/victim/bystander triad that perpetuates bullying. Understanding the values of the “third” position offers potential strategies to interrupt bullying as well as to prevent it.