Ocean's Twelve (2004)

Crime, Thriller
  • Warner Bros. Pictures Company:
  • PG-13 Rated:
  • IMDB link IMDB:
  • 10 Dec 2004 Released:
  • 12 Apr 2005 DVD Release:
  • $125.4M Box office:


When egos meet5/10
George : Hey guys, remember that movie we all did a few years back called Ocean's Eleven?

Brad : Course we do, we had such a great time.

Julia : And let's not forget we made stacks of money on it. It was a hit!

George : Well here's an idea.Let's make a sequel!

Matt : Fantastic idea! I mean the first one had all of us in it but most of all it was directed, had cool music, had lots of us in it and had a great script.

Brad : The script? Oh yeah, the script, whatever.

Julia : Let's do it. Everyone will love seeing us mugging it up on the screen. Steven Soderbergh's a friend of mine so he'll love directing us again.

George : Yeah, he'll do it. He won't have to work too hard though because it's got us in it. In fact he can just stuff around and experiment with all sorts of stupid camera angles.

Matt : Won't that just confuse the audience and make them dizzy?

George : Stuff that! Just so long as everyone can make out it's us up there on the screen they'll love it!

Matt : And the music??

Brad : Pfft! Music? No one goes to the movies for music. They want to see stars. Like us! Let's just have any old stupid music for this one.

Matt : That's fine. What about the script?

Brad : What is it with you and the script? Hey here's an idea. Julia, you're so famous and wonderful

Julia : So are you Brad.

Brad : Thanks Julia. What I was saying was how about we have an entire sequence where your character pretends to be you! Everyone knows you're fantastic so they'll love it!

Matt : Great idea Brad. How do we fit that into the script?

George : Who cares??? It's Julia! Everyone will love it!

Julia : OK. How about we get someone else as famous and wonderful as us to join in the cast? The audience will love that.

George : Yeah, let's get Bruce Willis in a pointless uncredited cameo. He's never been too fussy about what movies he's made before. He's bound to say yes.

Matt : How do we fit him into the script?

George : Who cares??? It's Bruce Willis. Everyone will love it!

Julia : OK, who else?

Brad : I'm way ahead of you here, Julia. I've got a famous wife so let's get someone who is famous and wonderful, with a famous husband and who they audience will love if they see her and I having a romantic scene.

All : Catherine Zeta Jones!

George : I'll call her and see.

(Ring Ring)

Catherine : Hello. George : Hi Catherine, George Clooney here. You might remember working with me in Intolerable Crueltythe audience loved it!

Catherine : Hi George. What's up?

George : We're making a sequel to Ocean's Eleven. It's got me and Brad and Julia and Matt in it. How'd you like to be in it too?

Catherine : Yeah sure. What's it about?

George : Who cares?? It's got me and Brad and Julia and Matt and you in it!!

Catherine : OK. But how about we film it in Europe? The audience will love that!

George : It's a deal. See ya.

Catherine : Bye

Julia : So how'd it go?

George : She's in AND she had a great idea. She reckons we could film it somewhere in Europe.

Brad : Fantastic!

Matt : So how does that fit into the script?

Julia : Who cares about the script!! It's got us in it! And anyone who liked Ocean's Eleven will get sucked into seeing it and by then it's too late for them to worry about the script because they've already paid their money.

George : And besides they'll love it because it's got me and Julia and Matt and Brad AND Catherine in it AND it will be filmed in Europe. Everyone will love it!

Matt : Great. Let's do it!!

you get the idea.
Great actors, beautiful European scenery, funny lines, witty banter, nice camera work, what could go wrong? ... The plot. When I saw that 27% of the people gave this movie a 10 rating, I wondered if I was the slow one. Then I read the reviews.

When most of the stars started appearing on talk shows, trying to convey the buddy buddy tomfoolery that went on behind the scenes, I kind of sensed that damage control was underway. There was a moment in this movie where a few of the actors were sitting at a table talking complete gibberish, and it was later joked that they pulled a "lost in translation". I guess the joke was on me the viewer.

What rolled along as a pretty good movie slowly gathering steam, stalled into chaotic incomprehensive mess. If you loved the first movie because it developed into a brilliantly masterminded theft with many twists, you be left with the empty feeling that the only thing that was lifted in this movie; was your money for the admission ticket.

It is too late for me now, but you still have a chance.
Simply put, this is a boring movie. The strength of Ocean's 11 was that it started at point A and it ended at point B, and it did so in a convincing and entertaining matter and threw in a believable plot twist at the end. It was very simply and straightforward.

Ocean's 12 is nothing like this. The film is in desperate need of a better editor, as it is so bloated and ponderous that towards the middle of the film, if you've even managed to keep track of who's stealing what from whom and why they're doing it, you won't even care any more. You'll just be begging for the ending.

The film is filled with bizarre camera angles, such as a shot of an incoming airplane that for some inconceivable reason is filmed sideways. There are also some VERY bizarre scenes, such as a scene where Julia Robert's character has to pretend to be Julia Roberts, and a thief break-dances through lasers.

However, the biggest flaw of the movie is the absence of a good heist scene. The heist in Ocean's 11 was masterful, and there is nothing in this film that even comes close. I didn't go to see this movie to watch a cop get reunited with her father who happens to be a master thief, I went to see a team of funny people go up against the odds to steal a lot of money.

Bottom line: You will hate this movie. Don't waste your money on it.
That's IT? No, really, that's IT?!1/10







Leaves you pining for '11'5/10
Three years ago Danny Ocean (Clooney) and his team stole 160 million dollars from Terry Benedict (Garcia). Now Benedict wants his money back. Plus interest. Thus Ocean and his crew must scramble together what they owe; too hot to work in America, they set their sights on Amsterdam.... where, not so coincidently, Rusty Ryan (Pitt) has an ex-love (Zeta-Jones) who just so happens to be head of police and hot on their trail. But Benedict and sexy cop Isabel Lahiri (Zeta-Jones) aren't the crew's only problem. Another thief under the alias of "nightfox" ( Vincent Cassel) is keen to battle it out with Ocean and his team; to decide who the best thief (or thieves) are.

And there you have Ocean's 12; a film which falls too short in terms of wit, appearance, plot... and pretty much everything else in comparison to the original Ocean's 11.

One thing must be made clear, however; the cast is great. Spectacular really. There is a definite and rare chemistry between everyone; even Catherina Zeta-Jones, newcomer to the Soderbergh film. And it is indeed very rare to jam-pack a film with so many big name celebs without the film being ruined by too much star power and not enough of anything else. And these films do indeed have A lot of Hollywood star power in them; Julia Roberts, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Catherina Zeta Jones, Bernie Mac, Andy Garcia, Don Cheadle... just to name the biggest names. And watching Ocean's 11, you can tell that the crew enjoyed making this film. Unfortunately, the audience may not gain the same pleasure as the actors did....

If you were like me, absolutely blown away by the chic and jazzy first film, then Ocean's 12 will be a disappointment. The first movie was simply 'classy'. All of the shots, every single take, camera angles were all very clean-cut, solid and very stylish. In this film however, Soderbergh decides to use the currently popular 'shaky cam' technique for some scenes. I can understand why. In this film, unlike the first one, the crew haven't had time to plan to perfection their 'pull'. In this film its a mad rush to meet Benedict's deadline and I suppose Soderbergh wanted to get that rashness and disorientation across. But it wrecks the film. He really should have stuck to his original idea of having it all snazzy, bold and clean. Plus it is confusing when the film snaps between past and present to explain how the crew made some of their robberies; it looks messy and ugly to change between shaky cam to the bolder scenes.

Secondly, the laughs are fewer in 12 and the script is duller. Ocean's 11 had a quick-wit and many a memorable line. Ocean's 12 has to sink so low as to throw in an age joke for Clooney; "Do i look 50?". The plot is predictable; from Julia Robert's 'impersonation' to the crew's great escape. It's all very blunt and can be spotted a mile away. And the summing up of the 'pull' is a little confusing; past tense (there's that shaky cam again!). I cant give too much away but my personal opinion is that the explanation of how the team pulled of the robbery is a little confusing and a sort of "huh"? moment which you will need to disucss with other's who have seen the film, to make sure you absolutely understood everything.

All in all the film is a let down. By all means go and see it; if for no other reason than to drool over the gorgeous Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and George Clooney.... But do not get your hopes up. As the credits roll you will find yourself feeling cheated somehow. Ocean's 11 was a real gem but Ocean's 12 just leaves you pining for the original.... 5.5/10