Memphis man has worst day ever, but remembers clean underwear rule

It’s like Mama said: always leave the house with clean underwear on, because you never know when you’ll be in a car accident, then shot, and end up arrested in a Mickey D’s in your tighty-whities. Halloween gave one man the wedgie of a lifetime with a self-inflicted really bad day, the kind that folk singers just love to write about. The man first crashed his auto into a Memphis street pole, then picked a residence near the scene and began banging and kicking on the door. At first, no one answered, then the man finally found someone at home when he kicked in a window, and was promptly shot by the homeowner. He made his escape, but the kicking car crash victim left behind more than just memories–he also left behind all his clothes, his Underoo-clad butt bouncing in the breeze. The homeowner stated that he didn’t see the man face to face, but apparently he saw the streaker’s best side as the man ran to a McDonald’s, threw a rock through the front window, and was finally apprehended by Memphis’ finest in his t-shirt and underpants, bleeding from a cut and a bullet wound.

In the understatement of the year, one witness noted that he must have been on ‘some high-powered something.’ Yes, and mind-altering substances may have been involved as well.