How to Encourage Positive Change in Others

Co-authored by Paul Chernyak, LPC

Updated: September 6, 2019

It's both an honor and a challenge to inspire positive change in those around you. Consider your reasons for wanting to encourage positive change. For example, you might feel good when you encourage positive change in others, so it might be motivating to you or giving you a sense of satisfaction. Also, be aware that effective behavior change is stimulated by positive energy. You have a much better chance of encouraging others if you first establish yourself as a positive example. Then, learn how to reinforce good behaviors with positive praise. Finally, help your acquaintances stick with behavior modification by offering non-judgmental accountability.

Method 1 of 3:
Being a Role Model

  1. 1
    Be trustworthy. If you are interested in inspiring others, you must first check your motives. People won't see your intentions as good if you have a hidden agenda. Helping others to make you look good won't work. They will be able to sniff out your agenda and be less likely to trust you.[1]
    • For example, some people are only interested in helping others to make themselves look good or to win approval. Your motive for positive change shouldn't be focused on you, however; it should focus on the other person. In other words, you need to be selfless. If you have trouble with this behavior, then try volunteering to get more perspective on other people's struggles.
    • Tell the truth about why you are trying to help someone. Be upfront about your motives and make sure your reasons relate to actually helping them improve, rather than to advance yourself in some way.
  2. 2
    Lead by example. The most basic step in encouraging others to improve is to set a positive example. It's hard to motivate others' behaviors when you have trouble bettering your own habits. This isn't to say that you must be perfect, but you should be willing to lead by example.
    • For example, if you are suggesting to your child to stop telling lies, then you, too, should demonstrate honesty. It is important that you follow your own advice if you expect other people to do so.
    • The best way to encourage others is by engaging in the desired behaviors yourself. Plus, you are more likely to earn their trust and respect this way.[2]
  3. 3
    Foster a nurturing environment. Support positive change in others by setting up an environment that promotes the desirable behavior. People have greater chances of succeeding when as many variables are working in their favor.
    • If you are a teacher, for instance, your students are more likely to transition to new activities when there is a visible schedule on display. Also, prompting them a few minutes before a new activity is due to begin can also help them transition more easily.[3]
    • Think of ways you can support a person's positive change with visual cues or reinforcements.
  4. 4
    Suggest other role models. It takes a village to inspire change. No one person is fully responsible for inciting change in another. Therefore, you should model a collaborative approach and recommend others who can help the person with the desired behavior.[4]
    • For example, if you have a friend who is trying to adopt healthier eating habits, it might be a great idea to share a healthy eating blog post with them. Or, set up an appointment for them to meet with a dietitian. This helps you further encourage positive change, and offers them additional resources for success.
    • You can also try to find someone who has made a similar positive change in themselves. Even a video of someone who has made a similar change can serve as a good example.

Method 2 of 3:
Being a Cheerleader

  1. 1
    Highlight the positive traits you see in others. One of the best ways to encourage others is to offer genuine praise. When you see something positive in other people, let them know. Praise is a great way to reinforce positive change, because when people feel good about themselves, they are encouraged to do good as well. Positive praise creates motivation and helps sustain motivation.
    • You might say, “I've noticed that your writing has really improved, Samantha. What's your secret?” or “I admire the effort you're putting into learning the violin, Jeremy.”
  2. 2
    Personalize encouragement to the person. Encouragement shouldn't consist of blanket statements that you toss out to anyone who's willing to listen. Offer genuine praise that relates to the individual and where they are in the change process.[5]
    • For instance, if someone is just beginning a new behavior, you should focus on highlighting any positive benefits. Say, “Jose, I can tell that you are really committed to raising your math grade. Great job!”
    • Once they are further along in the change process, you might begin to offer negative feedback, too. This is effective because people are less likely to be motivated by total positive messages as they get closer to reaching a goal. They need some constructive criticism to help them better refine the behavior.
  3. 3
    Deliver negative feedback properly. A common approach to giving constructive criticism is sandwiching the negative statement between two positive statements. Some experts believe this negates a person's ability to learn from criticism. The helpful feedback is often lost by the padding around it. Instead when you do offer negative feedback, wrap it using five basic ingredients.[6]
    • The context: “I was reviewing your progress over last the few weeks and trying to see how I can better train you.”
    • The observation: “I noticed that you haven't shown much improvement in weight-lifting since our last update.”
    • Your feelings: “I am surprised because I thought you had gotten the hang of the workouts.”
    • The value statement: “It's important to me that you reach your fitness goals.”
    • The suggestion: “We can revise your plan to better suit your current fitness level or increase the number of trainings per week. Let me know how I can help.”
  4. 4
    Arouse big dreams, but also focus on short-term goals. As you cheer on others in their behavior change, be sure to urge them to dream big. Developing lofty goals helps people dismiss any shortcomings and increase their self-motivation. However, you should also encourage the person to create smaller, short-term goals, too.
    • Sit down with them and help them map out both small and big SMART goals. Such goals are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound.
    • In the midst of working towards larger, long-term goals, the completion of short-term goals helps build momentum and boost self-confidence.[7]

Method 3 of 3:
Offering Accountability

  1. 1
    Accept people without judgment. Shaming someone into taking positive action is unhelpful and toxic. They will only want to make a change if they want to make the change. Never think that communicating harsh judgments will inspire change—it won't. Instead lean towards a position of acceptance. You are more likely to find success this way.
    • For instance, refrain from telling a friend, “Is that a doughnut I see you eating? You don't seem committed to change!” Offer acceptance by saying something like, “Changing ingrained eating habits can be hard. The next time you have a craving, call me so we can work through coping techniques, okay?”
  2. 2
    Listen. An effective accountability partner is one who knows the power of active listening. Behavior change is hard. Sometimes, people just want to vent their frustrations. Employ active listening strategies to hear their perspective and figure out how you can further encourage them.
    • Active listening involves making eye contact, reading their body language, prompting with short phrases (e.g. “Oh, really?” or “And…?”) and summarizing what the person said when they're finished speaking.[8]
  3. 3
    Be empathetic. Empathy is an important tool in the change process. As a source of accountability, you can use empathy to acknowledge and validate the feelings of others. People appreciate you when you seem to understand and relate to them. Doing so can improve your relationship with others and boost performance, too.[9]
    • Empathy is also related to the process of active listening. You can display empathy by tuning into the emotional expression of others and validating those emotions. Do so by saying things like “It sounds like you're upset.” Or, “This seems to be very challenging for you.”
    • If the person is struggling or experiences a setback, remind them that this is part of the process. Help them to plan for setbacks and come up with ways to deal with them.
  4. 4
    Connect them with others who are going through a similar process. Be accountable in the change process of others by linking them up with others who are undergoing the same change. A support group of others or just one buddy who is making the same change can be a valuable resource. Change seems less intimidating when they are enduring trials and triumphs together.
    • Help your acquaintance identify at least one other person to go through the process with them. Or, suggest that they join a support group either locally or online.[10]

Community Q&A

    Ask a Question
    200 characters left



        • Self help books can be great resources for making this type of change in your life. One god resource is Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One by Joe Dispenza.


        About This Article

        Licensed Professional Counselor
        4 votes - 100%
        Co-authors: 6
        Updated: September 6, 2019
        Views: 3,787
        Categories: Role Models
        Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 3,787 times.

        Reader Success Stories

        • JH

          Joshua Hannes

          Aug 14, 2019

          "Upon reviewing this article, I now can provide value you to others within my area of expertise. This will enable positive change in others for a positive future within their personal lives."..." more
        Share your story

        Did this article help you?