Thursday, December 20, 2012

Christmas is...

...literally right around the corner.

I'm done with my shopping.

Ok...I'm almost done with my shopping. I always feel as if I haven't done enough for those that I'm shopping for.
Even if I were independently and obscenely wealthy (which I'm not), and were to spend insane amounts of money on those whom I love so much (which I cannot), I'm sure I would feel the same way as I do ever year at this time.

And then there are those on my list for whom shopping is damn near impossible. We all have people in our lives to whom that it the holiday season or not. Those are the people for whom you sincerely never know what to get. Maybe it's because they have everything they could ever want. Maybe they already have all that they need. Maybe we, the shoppers, are wholly and totally insensitive to the wants and desires of our loved ones. Maybe when asked they simply replied with, "Thank you, but I don't really want or need anything".

Incidentally, that's exactly what I did to my lovely wife and two beautiful daughters. I know that I have frustrated them to no end this holiday season.

...but I really don't want anything for Christmas. Ok...there is one thing I do want... wake up in my own bed, next to my amazing wife, and then have breakfast and hang out with her and our kids while we shower them with gifts and love on Christmas morning.

That's it. That's all I really want for Christmas.

Though I could (and maybe should) probably ask for some new socks and underwear. Funny how, as a kid, that seemed like the worst gift in the whole world.
C'mon...I'm not the only one. We've all been there...eagerly sitting in the family room with everyone around you, staring longingly at the gift from your favorite grandparent, hoping that inside will be the greatest gift in the world...the gift...the only thing you really truly wanted that year. You intentionally saved it for last because you just knew that special package contained overwhelming amounts of awesomeness. You shook it to see if you might be able to divine its contents, carefully removed the stick-on bow, took a deep breath and tore past the neatly pleated, folded, and taped paper, snapped the tape that was keeping the box held shut, ripped the box open only to find a fresh new set of Fruit of The Looms and a three-pack of athletic socks...all while your favorite grandparent smiled at you as if they had just given you a enormous sum of money and the keys to FAO Schwartz.
And, of course, you just smiled, said thanks, and hugged your now-least-favorite grandparent...all while thinking quietly to yourself, "Worst...Gift...Ever".

I've said it before, and I'll say it that I'm an adult, the idea of getting socks and underwear seems like the most thoughtful gift in the world. I mean...they do wear out. Most of us will wear our socks and underwear until they have more holes than a pile of Swiss cheese. They do need to be replaced from time to time. It truly is a practical gift considering that most of us don't even bother replacing old under-garments until they have disappeared or disintegrated.
...Such practicality in gift-giving makes me now think that my grandparents were freakin' geniuses.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

The Bucket List

Just in case you haven't heard, or aren't familiar with the term...
"Bucket List" is a slang term for that list of things you want to do or accomplish before you die.

Recently, during an interview with one of my favorite local reporters, I was asked about my personal bucket list and what kind of things are on it. I can't remember the exact answer I gave, however, after much thought and deliberation over the matter...the answer I gave may have been too vague, esoteric, and not at all the type answer that the interviewer was looking for. So -for my friend, Mary, who was so kind to put me on the spot, and was also so forgiving and patient with my candid, yet ambiguous answer- I have amended my response.

I have decided to include some of my bucket list items here in this post. Please bear in mind that this is not a complete bucket list, and certainly not listed in any particular order. So here goes...

*Visit places of archeological antiquity-
       ~ Great Pyramid of Giza
       ~ Stonehenge
       ~ Machu Picchu
       ~ The Acropolis
       ~ Easter Island
       ~ Ankor Wat
       ~ Chichen Itza
       ~ Petra
*Drive a race car...a REAL race car...REALLY FAST!!
*Go spite of being scared shitless of heights.
*Play shows at notable venues-
       ~Hollywood Bowl
       ~Red Rocks
       ~Madison Square Garden
       ~The Meadowlands
       ~BJCC (my hometown's big arena)
*Win a Grammy Award
*Write and record my own jazz record.
*Tour the entire Smithsonian Institute.
*Learn to play jazz piano.
*Make music with some of my musical heros (here's the short list)-
       ~ Sting
       ~ James Taylor
       ~ Willie Nelson
       ~ The Allman Brothers Band
       ~ Kenny Loggins
       ~ Michael McDonald
       ~ Branford Marsalis
       ~ John Scofield
       ~ Larry Goldings
       ~ Oteil Burbridge
*Be a great dad.
*Be a great husband.
*Be a great friend.
*Be remembered as a good person.
*Tell "the one that got away" how I always felt about her.
*Marry my very best friend.
*Become the best musician/drummer that I can be.
*Perform as a clinician at PASIC.
*Own a few hot rods-
       ~'34 Ford
       ~'35 Chevy
       ~'40 Ford
       ~'49 Mercury
       ~'57 Chevy
       ~'60 Corvette
       ~'65 GTO
       ~'67 Impala
       ~'68 Camaro
       ~'69 Charger
       ~'70 Oldsmobile 442
*Learn to fly an airplane.
*Learn to scuba dive.
*Write a that people will actually read.

Well...that's all I could come up with in one short sitting. I'm sure if I gave it more than five minutes thought I could come up with plenty more to add to this list. I'm also sure that you've noticed that a few items have already been marked off the list. I did that because they have always been on my bucket list...even before I knew to call it a bucket list. I also wanted to show that if effort and hard work (as well as a little good luck) is put into it, one can actually mark things off a bucket list...and not just in a last ditch effort to feel as if life hasn't passed you by.

We only get one ride on this roller coaster called goes by quick, so make it count. What's on your bucket list? Do you even have one? Make one and see how many items you can scratch off before you die.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

fixing America's problems

fiscal cliff, tax hikes, taxing the "wealthy" their fair share...UGH!!

Alright, I'm probably going to piss off a few folks with this post, but I have to say what I'm going to say buckle up. I'm not asking anyone to agree with me, though if you do, that's fine. I am merely offering a humble opinion based on what I deem to be common sense. If you disagree with me, that's fine as well, you are more than welcome to your own opinions...this one happens to be mine.

Here are some light facts that have gone grossly undisputed: America has borrowed trillions of dollars, our politicians regularly spend way more than is brought in, and a fiscal cliff is looming in the distance.

What exactly is a fiscal cliff? I sincerely have no idea. It probably is some random term created by a spin-saavy politician to inject fear into our hearts and minds. What it means, however, is that the country is in a world of shit, financially speaking, if we don't truly fix the problems that have created it.
When the deadline arrives, if there isn't policy in place that changes the course of things, taxes will go up (for all of us) and spending cuts are eminent. This is going to happen because we will have no choice. The "bills" are coming due and there will be no other way to pay them if these things don't happen. As I understand it, these things were postponed by policies put into place during President Bush's term. This only postponed the problems, pushing them all to a back burner until they simply had to be dealt with, and by someone else entirely.

So what are our duly elected leaders doing about it? Well...negotiating, which means, for the most part, not much of anything. More than ever before we need for our politicians to put the needs of the country as a whole in front of the needs of the handfuls of constituents that will potentially re-elect them. We need for our elected officials to step up and do the right things. Instead, what we will more than likely get will be a bunch of political rhetoric that passes blame back and forth, and nothing will really be done to solve the problems...which generally seems to be overspending. There will also be lots of "negotiating" that will, in reality be the result of several politicians bickering over whether or not they want to make key spending cuts that will most certainly affect their ability to get re-elected.

The finger pointing needs to stop...along with several other things.

So let's look at the tax situation...
There are miles and miles of tax code. If you have ever tried to read any of it, you know exactly how dizzying and overwhelming it can be to understand it. Our taxation system is completed screwed up, and keeps getting worse by the year from all of the loopholes, and the loopholes to close the loopholes that are created by politicians so that everyone feels like they are getting pinched but no one really gets pinched too bad as to want to not live here anymore.
The guidelines by which the multi-tiered system we have in place now is...well...highly antiquated. I'm sure that at the time it was all laid out, there was far less inflation and the threshold for the upper tier of taxable income seemed like a whole lot of money to make on a yearly basis. Perhaps the entire thing should be re-scaled to accommodate and account for all the years of gradual inflation. To simply say that we need to tax the "wealthy" so that they will be paying their "fair share" is childish and ludicrous at best. For many hard working Americans who find themselves in the position of making just enough money to be in that upper tier, the thought of paying more in taxes is downright painful. Those particular people who just barely make enough to be taxed at the highest levels, they find themselves in the awful position of finally, after years of hard work and dedication, being able to comfortably provide for their families, only to hear that they are considered to be (overly) "wealthy" and now have to be taxed even more. I can assure you that those who find themselves just above that threshold don't consider themselves to be "wealthy" by any stretch of the imagination; especially if they have kids of any age, but even more so if those kids are getting their college education on mom and dad's tab.
For years when I was much younger, I made shit money. I doubt that I broke the poverty level for several of those years. During those years when I was somehow getting by on less than 15K a year, someone who made over $50K a year seemed "wealthy". I'm sure that to someone who is barely getting by at $50K, the appearance of wealth begins at $100K. To someone at $100K, that semblance of wealth is $200K. However, wealth is all relative to what you are currently making versus what financial commitments you are responsible for versus how much you are actually able to save and put aside for savings and/or retirement.
Truth is, I don't have that much more financial flexibility now than I did when I was earning below the poverty level many years ago. I still have bills that still have to be paid. I still have to budget my money wisely. What little bit of financial flexibility I do possess is not as a result of making more money than I used to, but rather the result of wiser choices and greater responsibility with my finances. As far as taxes go...because I have always been considered "self-employed", I have always been hit with the highest tax liability allowed...which translates into losing over half of my income to taxes by the time federal and state agencies got their share of my hard-earned money.
True, we need tax reform...but not in the way that Capitol Hill would have you believe is fair and just taxation.

To better describe where we currently are, I think a decent analogy is in order...

Imagine that you and ninety-nine other random people of all demographics, creeds, and age are standing at the edge of a very large field that contains tons of fruit and vegetables that are ripe for the picking. The farmer who owns the farm has agreed to allow every person one full hour to go out and pick as much produce as they can carry, and that produce shall be what they use to provide for their families for an entire year.
A small number of the one hundred people are elderly, sickly, or with small children and are basically unable to work so it is agreed that everyone who is going out and picking will collectively contribute to the welfare of those who cannot fully provide for themselves.
You, and everyone who is picking, go out and pick your produce. Everyone who goes out and picks brings back varied amounts of produce. Some only bring back fifty pounds. Some manage to bring back over a hundred pounds. You happen to be very smart and strong and drag a small cart out into the field and manage to bring back over two hundred and fifty pounds of fruit and vegetables back to the edge of the field. It seems that several others were very enterprising as well and have brought similar amounts.
You already were aware that you would be giving away some of your produce to help those truly in need, but upon returning to the barn, the farmer informs you that there were more than several able-bodied people who simply refused to go out and work. Instead, they sat back and did nothing, all while claiming to not be able to go out and work. The farmer informs you that you and the few others that picked over two hundred and fifty pounds of food will have to give over one hundred pounds (that's 40% by the way) of the produce you just picked to help compensate and feed those who simply decided they wouldn't go and work. This, of course, leaves you with just one hundred and fifty pounds of produce to feed your family with for the whole year.

A flawed analogy, I know...but it does illustrate a few simple points. you still think that the wealthy are not paying their "fair share" of taxes? For some of you, I will concede to the notion that we will have to agree to disagree.
So let's approach it this way...Why don't we all pay the same percentage amount in taxes? Do you get pissed when someone in church tithes less than you (provided, of course, that everyone is tithing 10%)? No. Of course you don't. You understand that ten percent is ten percent no matter what.
What if we used a similar approach to taxes? How about an amount that manageable by all...say 15%? No exceptions. Everyone would be paying the exact same percentage...and regardless of how the money was made.

Only then would everyone would be paying a fair share.

The formula for calculating it all would be simple...
Question A: How much money did you make last year?
Question B: What is 15% of the answer to question A?
Ta-daaaaah! The entire U.S. Tax code could be reduced to one, mind-numbingly simple page.

What about corporate taxes, you ask?...Almost as simple.
Question A: How much money did your company make last year?
Question B: How much money did your company have to spend to earn that money? (and corporate profit bonuses paid to executives don't count!)
Question C: Subtract answer B from answer A. This is your company's taxable income.
Question D: What is 15% of the answer to question C?

Damn...I think I just used common sense to reduce both the personal and corporate tax codes to one short page of mind-numbingly simple, logical rules.

Ahhhh....but this leads us to the next part of fixing America's issues...SPENDING CUTS!!!

We, the people, in order to have a better grip on our lives without having to rob Peter to pay Paul, have to budget ourselves. We know about how much money is rolling in on a regular basis. We know about how much money is going to be rolling out. We know that we have to set some aside for that rainy day. We know that we can't spend more than we bring in...
Common sense, right? I agree.
Why can't our politicians do the same thing with our national budget? Oh's because they haven't balanced a budget for our country in twenty years!! Yep, that's right!!
I'm not saying we should do away with some of our entitlement fact I'm saying we should keep them, provided that we can find money in the budget to pay for it all. The basic problem is this...our politicians keep finding more ways and places to spend our tax dollars. However, we don't really have any more money coming in than we did last year. If we ran our household budgets like our government runs our national budget, we would all be homeless, unemployed and broke as hell by now!! If our elected officials treated our national budget with the same care that some of us have to treat our personal budgets, we would see a whole lot less unnecessary spending. Some senator would go to the hill demanding money for his new entitlement program, and the folks in charge of the dough could tell that senator the same thing that was told to to Kevin Klein's character in the movie "Dave"..."Find the money in the budget, and you can have your program."

Sure, this country needs to have a budget and stick to it. Sure, there are plenty of government programs to cut money from. Sure, we could make military cutbacks, however, I don't believe it would be prudent or wise to cripple our military's ability to properly defend our great nation. Sure, we could cut and cut and cut...but the inherent problem still remains. Politicians are not being forced to maintain and live by a balanced budget. They are also not stopping the creation of new entitlements. We need to quit creating new ways to spend the tax dollars that are not coming in. We have allowed a new, socialized health care system to be passed and soon to be put into action, but with no real way to pay for it. I'm not going to argue whether we do or don't need ObamaCare...I'm simply going to point out that our politicians allowed it to be passed without first having the funds to pay for it.
When will our politicians learn to use good judgement and common sense, and quit approving spending for new entitlements? Hopefully before we are all being taxed at much higher than 40%.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Black Friday...
Hell no I don't participate in it. Do you think I'm crazy?!?

Umm...Don't answer that yet...

I choose to not participate in it. Not because I don't like finding great stuff on sale (I do love to buy stuff at a great price), more because I hate being in the middle of large, unpredictable crowds. People watching is always fun however, but only from a safe distance of the actual crowd itself.

I'm sure that at some point in the coming days and weeks I will hear a news report of someone getting trampled because they hesitated when the doors flung open or beat down because they tried to take the last sale item from the shelf at the same time that another exhausted, disgruntled shopper did.

While there are aspects of Black Friday that can be saddening, I'm almost ashamed to say that I find certain aspects of Black Friday comical in some ways.


Don't misunderstand me...I hate to see people getting hurt while innocently trying to fulfill the Christmas wishes of a loved one, however the absurdity of the scenario can be bewildering and laughable if your humor is twisted enough. Why anyone would feel the need to ignore the basics of humanity and good nature all because they feel bizarrely entitled to purchase that item at that time is beyond me. Incidentally, for those of you who haven't figured it out yet, anyone crazy enough to spend several days camped out in the parking lot of a store, depriving themselves of rest, decent nutrition, and sanity, all so they can get inside and start shopping at the stroke of midnight is...well...probably crazy enough to beat you down for trying to take that last sale item on the shelf and probably is too exhausted and malnourished to realize that the manufacturers have made more than is physically there at that time. And who is more at fault...the naively deranged shopper that sincerely thinks that they won't get beat down over that stupid toy or flat screen tv, or the other deranged shopper that feels it's necessary to beat someone down because they themselves weren't quick enough on the draw when reaching for the shelf? And what about those half-crazed folks that do the Black Friday shopping because they see it as a challenge? When did shopping become a competitive event? And exactly how do you win? Is there a Black Friday Shopper's League? Are there unified rules that apply everywhere? Can these rules apply in a regular grocery store or convenience store? What about all of those Black Friday deals...why don't liquor stores have them? Is there a required uniform for team play? Where are the referees during all of this shopping?
All of these Black Friday shoppers...Don't they all realize that there is a thing known as the internet, and on that thing called the internet there are online vendors that are more than happy and willing to sell those same items for the same price AND guarantee delivery well before Christmas? Aren't they aware of the money they would save by not burning gas driving to the mall, buying camping supplies, buying overpriced fast food, etc.?
You're right...they probably aren't all that aware. Maybe they aren't all that into actually saving money after all.

However, in spite of it being Black Friday, and in spite of our general distaste for getting in the midst of the insanity, Holly and I did do a small bit of shopping today...
We went and purchased our Christmas tree for this year. This, has become a bit of a family tradition at our house. For us, Black Friday means it's time to go to the local Christmas tree farm, pick out a tree that we deem to be cute and full of personality. It doesn't have to be the perfect tree; anything between the one at Rockefeller Center and Charlie Brown's puny little tree will always do.
Today we went and picked ours out...not too tall, not too full, not too thin. Later, we strung the lights and decorated the tree with ornaments. I even got crafty and actually made some of the things we put on the tree (though, at one point Holly was laughing to the point of me. Still not sure why, but it did involve a me, a step-ladder, a giant bow that I helped make, and deciding whether or not to have a "pokey-stick-thingy" protruding through the top of the bow). Holly also pulled out various decorative items to place around the house...'s definitely beginning to look a lot like Christmas. At least around here.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Turkey Day 2012

Well, today is Thanksgiving. A day during which we all are supposed to be thankful and remember all that we are thankful for. It is also a day for a big, televised parade, classic rival football match-ups,  as well as being a day during which extreme gluttony not only is also greatly encouraged.
Of course, we all know that Thanksgiving started many years ago when the pilgrim settlers from the "Old World" had a big feast with the Native Americans after the harvest season. I'm not sure what the Natives were thankful for back then...but I'm pretty sure that the Pilgrims were thankful to have not ended up at the wrong end of an atlatl flinging a spear. Not sure if they had a parade that year either...however, I'm pretty certain that the department store had not been invented yet. I suppose that year Santa had to sit on the old Macy's tree stump and convince small Quaker children they couldn't have a new Red Rider Bow&Arrow with the compass in the stock because they could shoot their eyes out...I'm sure he suggested something along the lines of suitable food and shelter instead. After the big feast, I'm sure everyone sat down together and in a sloth-like stupor watched the Redskins whip much ass...though I'm not sure there was actually a football involved at that time.

I digress...

Where was I?...Oh yeah...Today is Thanksgiving.

Today also happens to be my birthday.

It happens occasionally, my birthday coinciding with Thanksgiving...about once every 7 to 11 years. When I was a young kid, I remember thinking that my birthday was such an important day that my mother felt compelled to cook a feast fit for a king...
Boy was I disappointed the next year.

This year, I was rather insistent that Holly and the girls not make a big deal about my birthday. No cake. No celebrating.
It's not that I'm against having birthdays...or celebrating them. It's just that I didn't feel like making too big a deal of it in front of extended family during our hosting of the traditional Thanksgiving dinner, which, by the way, was fantastic, even if I do say so myself!

So how did it go?

Well...there was singing...there was a lit candle in a small serving of dessert food...there was a gift...
And all after everyone had left. Just me, Holly, and our girls...celebrating my birthday in exactly the low-key way I wanted.

True, there is lots to be thankful for...

I'm thankful for having a great place to live. Not only in regards to the house itself, but also in regards to the community in which I live.
I'm thankful for having a great job. I get to do what I love for a living.
I'm thankful for being able to pay my bills and still do what I love for a living.
I'm thankful for having a reliable vehicle to drive.
I'm thankful for being married to my long-time best friend, Holly. (My wife is awesome by the way!)
I'm thankful for having her and the girls in my life. (Our daughters are also awesome by the way!)
I'm thankful that they remembered me on my birthday...and in such a beautiful and perfect way.
-- Holly, Ashley, Allison...I love you!! --

What are you thankful for today?

Monday, November 12, 2012


Here's what happens. We (my bandmates and I) go out and play shows, and usually there is a review of the show the next day in the local newspaper of the town we just played in.
Some reviews are good. Some are not so good. It's all subjective. We know that we can't possibly please everyone. We don't even try to please everyone. We make the kind of music that we love to make and hope for the best in terms of crowd response. The same for our shows...we play what we love to play, to the best of our collective ability, and do our best to put on a great show. And, we understand and embrace the idea that not everyone will like us or our music.

Recently, we got a really horrible review after a show in the midwest. The guy who wrote it clearly hates the band and our music. Not sure why (it was a pretty damn good show if I do say so myself). He had even "tweeted" earlier in the day that he needed to be drinking heavily so he could write a "fair" review of the show. He had also clearly made up his mind about us and our show and how terrible it was going to be for him to be in attendance...never mind the fact that it was sold out show at a major venue and you have to be doing something right to be able to pull off such a feat as an artist. Never mind the fact that we've sold shitloads of records and had a string of very successful hits on the radio. Never mind that the place was filled with fans who were happy to be singing along with damn near every word of every song we played.

Now, I'm no writer. I certainly don't claim to be. However, if I were to be trusted with the task of writing a review of a show, I would certainly approach the whole thing with the mindset of providing a clear, unbiased opinion of what went down. Isn't that what good reporting is all about?

Maybe he's not into the style of music we play. Maybe he is one of those idiots that claims to be a music lover but only wants to hear a band mindlessly regurgitate their hits exactly as was done on their records. Maybe he hates writing show reviews. Maybe he isn't really a reporter. Maybe he still lives in his mother's basement and took a gig at the local paper to help pay the bills while he sluggishly attempts to carve out a plot for that best-selling novel that he will one day finish.
Maybe he was having a bad day or a bad week. Maybe he just simply is a chronically unhappy person. Maybe he is one of those people who could never be matter what.

That having all been said, I can simply say this to the man who gave us such a bad review...

I am sorry that you didn't have a good time (especially given the fact that you more than likely didn't even pay for the ticket yourself). Hopefully we will do better to make a good impression on you the next time around. In the meantime, try your hand at writing songs, making and selling records, winning over fans, and selling tickets to your shows. Maybe someone will write a "fair and unbiased" review of one of your shows. Let me know how that all works out for you.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012


Everyone knows by now that our Commander in Chief will remain in office for another four years. Personally, I didn't vote for him, I am still of the opinion that he has absolutely no clue how to do the job properly and effectively, and I am still of the opinion that the most powerful guy in the free world is more interested in being famous than he is being an actual leader. I also believe that he has yet to prove that any of his policies are substantive and good for our country. However, that having been said, the American people have voted, their voices heard, and our President will be around for another four years. This is the hand that we collectively have chosen, and consequently, this is the hand that we shall be forced to deal with.
I consider myself to be a very patriotic person. I believe that we each have a civic duty to do what we can to uphold the principles upon which our nation was founded. To quote Kennedy, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."

Seems as though more of us should think about that one. There is a growing movement in this country in which constituents are casting their votes for the candidates that promise the most free perks. There seems to be a huge wave of voting people who are eagerly waiting for the government to give them a free place to live, free food to eat, free health care, free training, and even jobs. While that may seem like a great idea, the truth is, what the government will actually be able to deliver to these people will be far less than par when compared to what they are promised. It seems to me the vast majority of this particular group of people appear to feel that they are entitled to be given all of these things. But they don't seem to want what will be provided for them...they want to be given the best that is out there.
What ever happened to working hard and earning something? What ever happened to ambition, and the drive to achieve more for oneself?

While the government can certainly align itself in such a way as to "freely" provide jobs, training, education, health care, food, lodging, etc. for its citizens, it is important to keep in mind that that particular way of doing things is destined for failure. At some point, the entire population of that type of system is completely dependent upon the opposed to the entire government being completely dependent upon the population that it governs. I'm not sure exactly which President said first, but Gerald R. Ford is quoted as having said this, "Any government big enough to give you everything you want, is a government big enough to take away from you everything you have."
Some of you that may read this are either too young to remember or have simply forgotten about the U.S.S.R. as it existed back in the 70's and 80's during the Cold War era. The Union of Soviet Socialist Republic during the height of the Cold War era was the shining example of what socialism truly looks like when in full implementation. I remember being a child and hearing news reports and seeing news reel footage of people standing in long lines for hours on end (sometimes days on end) to receive the one loaf of government provided bread that would have to carry them over for an entire week. I can remember hearing the news stories of Russian citizens defecting to the United States because they were not free to choose what they wanted to do for a living, but rather were dictated to by the government based on the needs of the general workforce. I remember the news reels showing many Russian citizens living in extreme poverty, receiving poor health care, and crying out to the world for help. The socialist government would provide for its wealthiest citizens first and best, while allowing the poor and less desirable citizens to suffer. While there were Marxist and Communist principles at work, the USSR was a socialist society. How long did this particular system of socialized "everything" last until it completely collapsed? Approximately forty years.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Post-Halloween Crud and the Election...

Where did Halloween go? Did it ever really arrive? It came and went and I barely noticed. We had no Trick-or-Treaters this year. It seems that serious Trick-or-Treating has become a lost thing of years gone by. Maybe some of the big neighborhoods still have a few costumed candy crusaders here and there, but it seems as if the numbers keep dwindling down each year. I can remember being a kid and going to every house in my neighborhood, and then to every other house that was within hiking distance. Between my little brother and myself, the take was anywhere from 15 to 20 pounds of candy...each! We would pile it all up in the middle of the den, and then divide it evenly between us both. We would chip away at that pile of candy until well past Thanksgiving and usually finish off the last few morsels just in time to be enjoying the sweet delights of the Christmas holiday season.

I've been fighting the crud over the past seven or eight days. It got really bad a few days ago...bad enough for me to willingly take cold/sinus meds.
--Those who know me really well, also know how much I loathe taking meds of any description.--
So...I've been laid up on the couch, dizzy with sinus headaches and congestion, and, whilst in my haziness, I have been watching election coverage. All I can say is...WOW!
Depending on which network you watch, one or the other of the Presidential Candidates is going to have a landslide victory. Of course, we all know that this election is going to be very close. Possibly the closest election ever in terms of the popular vote.
I won't get into the nastiness of talking politics...especially via a blog. However, I do encourage everyone to go vote.
Let me say that again...

GO VOTE! It is your civic duty as a citizen of the United States of America.

I don't care who you choose to cast your vote for. I would like to think that each and every one of us has the good sense to cast our votes as well-informed voters. (Chances are, most of us unfortunately won't take the time become informed voters.) I sincerely believe that it is our civic duty as American citizens to exercise our right to vote during elections. There are still some nations out there that do not allow their citizens to vote for their leadership. We are very blessed to live in a country that allows for us to have that particular right. We should exercise that right...and with great regularity...

Will I say for whom I am casting my vote? Absolutely not. Suffice it to say that I have my political views, I have taken the time to become as informed as I can about the issues that our country faces, and I will cast my vote for the candidate that I believe to be the best person for the job.

I strongly recommend that you do the same. Either way, well informed or not, at least take the time and the opportunity to do your civic duty and exercise your right to voice your opinion...
If you don't vote...then you don't have a right to bitch about it later!

---  "Whenever the people are well informed, they can be trusted with their own government." -Thomas Jefferson  ---

---  "A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have." -Gerald R. Ford  ---

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Ta-dah!! Just that easy!!

So I'm hangin' out at the house, and I happened to see a small piece of a television show in which a struggling musician who has just experienced a small career setback says to his girlfriend, "Well, I guess if it were easy to make it in this business, everyone would be doing it."

The phrase struck me deeply for some reason. In spite of those words being spoken as part of a prime-time drama's banter, I don't think any statement could be any more true.

I remember thinking (and saying) the same thing once after having a conversation with a random person at a not-so-random event.

The random guy asked me, " do I get a gig like you've got?"
My reply was, "That's an interesting question with an interesting story. Why? Are you a musician?"
The next statement was what perplexed me the most...
Random guy answers with, "No. I don't play anything. But I've always thought it would be fun. I've been thinking about buying a really big, really nice, really expensive drum kit, but I don't want to make that kind of big investment unless I definitively know that I can have a high profile gig like yours."
My retort?..."(laughing) Well, maybe you should stick to your day job."

---To be absolutely honest- it seriously pissed me off that this nimrod thought that my good fortune in life was just whimsically gone into, as if I used to be an accountant and then woke up one morning, bored with numbers, and simply decided that I would be a drummer in a well known band.'s exactly just as simple as that!!! Quit your job, buy an instrument, and SHAZAAM!! You're now playing in front of tens of thousands of people nightly and conveniently rich and famous! What an asshole.---

"No...really dude," the random guy says. "If I go and drop a bunch of money on a really huge and expensive set of drums, how can I guarantee that I'll become rich and famous like you?"
"(more laughter) No...really. Stick to your day job. There aren't any guarantees that you'll ever become successful enough to even make a decent living...especially considering that you don't know how to play yet."
Random guy gets a deeply concerned look on his face and asks, "So how did you get to become rich and famous?"
My retort?..."I'm neither rich, nor famous...but thank you for thinking that I am. Truth is, I've been very blessed to be able to do what I love for a living. I would do it for little or nothing...and have many times."

As I walked away from the conversation with random nimrod I quietly whispered to myself, "If it were just that simple...everyone would be doing it."

Tuesday, October 2, 2012


Another season has passed us all by, and by my calculations the leaves on trees everywhere north of the Gulf of Mexico are beginning their swan song into winter. I, like many folks, enjoy the colors that fall brings...earthy and vibrant colors that seemingly cannot be replicated by any human means. I have always enjoyed the fall season. To me, the coming of fall always means the coming of my birthday, Thanksgiving, and then Christmas right around the corner. Beyond that, a new year, full of hopes, ambitions, new and renewed dreams, would be standing in wait.

My beautiful wife, Holly, doesn't seem to care too much for fall...she's much more a fan of spring and all of its beautiful colorful splendor that new growth and budding flowers bring to the season.

Holly is a huge fan of Halloween. I still haven't been able to put my finger on exactly why, but I really love seeing her expose her impish, inner child. I also absolutely adore the fact that she takes such time and care to put out Halloween decor around the house. The semi-fancy table cloth that usually adorns our kitchen table has been replaced with a large, lace-like, black spider's web, and atop it, our Halloween punchbowl set (which, incidentally, has been filled with an assortment of fun-sized candy bars and chocolates). In our den, she has strung the ficus tree with "ghosts" that can be illuminated by the simple flick of a switch.

Candles, candlesticks, cute and friendly ghosts, witches, and jack-o-lanterns are all about the house, serving as a reminder to all that come in, that the season of pranks, ghost stories, and trick-or-treaters is here. It is the only time in fall that my wife seems so unavoidably happy...and it's so very contagious.

Her child-like and impish verve during this part of the year makes me love the fall that much more...and her as well!!

Our kitchen table...

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Summer ---> Fall

Well...Summer is beginning to wind down and soon Fall will be upon us. The days have started to get noticeably shorter, the evening air a good bit cooler, and the sweltering heat and humidity of the early mornings have begun to yield to the brisk, breezy dawns that seem to be very much alive with the chirping cicada calling out their summer song from the tree line of the woods. The calls of the birds seem to be less about finding mates and more about finding potential found stores for the less fruitful months ahead. While everything is still very green, and there are still blooms on the crepe myrtle trees, there is certainly a sense in the air that soon everything will begin to change again, that the leaves of the hardwood trees will explode with vivid and spectacular colors before wilting away into winter.

The usual "dress code" around here will change a few more weeks it will be jeans in the morning, shorts in the afternoons, and denim jackets in the evenings. Not sure if it's an actual "dress code" around here per se, but ever since I can remember, that particular clothing did seem to be standard issue for the fall months in the town that I grew up in and still reside.

For some, the end of Summer means the end of fun times, and the end of lazing about, doing much of nothing, as was and still is the case with most children and teenagers who view summertime as their vacation break from the toils of school.
Since I was about thirteen years old, the end of Summer was always an exciting time. The end of Summer always meant being able to go back to school and seeing all of my most dear friends on a seemingly daily basis. The end of summer also meant the beginning of football season, which also meant the beginning of marching band. I LOVED marching band. Even though it could be tough to deal with at times, it was, and still is my favorite team sport.

For those of you who don't believe marching bands can be a team sport, I invite you to go attend a DCI drum corps competition.

I learned a lot out on the marching field. I learned about music, instrument care and repair, proper hydration, tan lines, bee stings, heat exhaustion, staring at girls without getting caught (well, one in particular), social boundaries, friendship, life, love, and trust.
I even got my first piercing on a marching field...true story.

Yep...some of my most fond memories of my adolescent and teenage years were made in marching band. Which is probably why I always pause, quietly listen, and gently smile every time I hear the tappings of a drumline in the distance. Just knowing that Summer is coming to a close and that Fall will soon be here in full swing is enough to make me smile.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Learning mode

I'm currently on a quest.
Well, I'm always on this particular quest, however, lately it seems to be more highly intensified.
The quest? To learn more about my craft; to explore new ideas, new approaches, and new uses for old ideas and learning materials; to learn more about technique and how to utilize my abilities to their fullest potential. It's a quest to become the best drummer that I can be and for no reason other than because I demand it of myself.

It's almost as if I've been called to complete a never-ending mission. I will never finish learning. I doubt that I will ever tire of learning...especially about the world and art of drumming.

Every now and again, I find myself close to mastering a few concepts (the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel), but just when I think I have it completely under my belt and at my disposal, I will become inspired again and the process begins all over again. It's like seeing the light glowing just a tiny bit brighter at the end of the proverbial tunnel and realizing that I'm never getting any closer to it.

In my recent exploring, I happened to check out Tommy Igoe's "Great Hands for a Lifetime". Talk about inspiring!! I now have a newfound love for some of my favorite exercises...RUDIMENTS. His "Lifetime Warm-up" has been quite a challenge and treat to learn, and I hope to incorporate some of my own warm-up rituals into Tommy's concept. Thank you Tommy Igoe for showing the drumming world this fantastic tool!!
For those of you who aren't drummers, rudiments are the basic learning tools and exercises that drummers learn to develop their ability and their drumming vocabulary. Where horns and pianos have scales...drummers have rudiments. Oddly enough, they never cease to be a challenge to play correctly.

Also in my recent exploring, I have picked up some dvds of past Modern Drummer Festivals. So many players, so many different styles, and so much inspiring material to draw from and be motivated by. I'm so excited!!
Again, for the non-drummer, there is a festival every year that is put on by Modern Drummer Magazine. Yes, there is such a magazine. To a drummer, Modern Drummer Festival seems to be one of the hippest and most interesting things in the world. For those non-drummers who happen to have an aversion to the sounds of drums...STAY AWAY!! IT WILL ONLY SOUND LIKE NOISE TO YOU!!
The same goes for PASIC.

I guess at the end of it all, what I'm really trying to say is this...
I am inspired. I have had my drive re-invigorated. Whatever way that inspiration presents itself to me, I am grateful to receive it, and I hope I can use it to its fullest potential so that I may one day begin to reach mine.

I can only hope that Holly and the girls don't want to throttle me about the neck for all of the racket I've been making!!

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Father's Day

Well, my fine friends and acquaintances, today is Father's Day. The "sub-holiday" that celebrates fatherhood by awarding proud poppas everywhere with a new tie, coffee mug, set of tools, or a simply a free pass to play an extra round of golf without getting bitched at. In spite of the retailer's sales specials and the greeting card industry's sentimentally-driven fleecing of our wallets, Father's Day is not quite as celebrated in most regards as Mother's Day. How could it be? I mean, Mom should get extra attention and kudos if for no other reason than she actually had to endure the pains of childbirth. Regardless, daddies still get their own day of recognition too (probably due to the numerous times they have to stop watching their favorite televised sporting event and open up their wallets to pay for gum, video games, shopping sprees, or any other form of entertainment their children wish to engage in).

In case you haven't figured it out already from previous blog posts, I am married, and I have two daughters. Step-daughters, actually. I love them dearly. I want to protect them from the perils of the world. They have brought out of me an ability to love that I never knew I was capable of, and I am so thankful for them to have been placed in my life. To a great degree, I am their dad, in spite of not ever being referred to as such. On days like today, however, I am painfully reminded that I am not their father, and I don't need a segment on Maury and a quickly processed DNA test to know it.

At this very moment as I am writing this, the girls, my girls, are out to hang with their dad in celebration of Father's Day. I envy him. Don't misunderstand me, I am exuberantly happy that they are there with him, and ecstatic that they can further cultivate their relationship with him. When their parents divorced and their dad remarried, the father-daughter relationship was crushed and strained at best. It makes me so happy to know that they are rebuilding that relationship. I want nothing more for them than their happiness. My love for them makes me want to take a back-seat and take the leftovers of fatherhood. A role, I couldn't be more blessed to have.

Still, I envy him greatly. Not because I'm jealous over the girls. Rather because he knows what it means to have someone, a child, a piece of himself love him unconditionally, and without end. He knows what it means to called "daddy". Maybe Holly and I will have one of our own...hopefully we will be blessed with that.
Until then, I am content to be whatever I need to be for my girls, be it a protector, a friend, a financier, or the occasional daddy-type of guy.

True, today is a bittersweet day for me... perhaps because I miss my own father so much. Maybe it is because of recent events that have put me in this kind of mood. Recently, I enjoyed the great opportunity to be onstage with Willie Nelson. My own father was huge fan of Willie. HUGE. Actually, "HUGE" would be an understatement. Making music with Willie, onstage and televised, was by far one of the coolest things I have ever been a part of. A true gem in a lifetime of cool experiences. Willie is iconic. His guitar, "Trigger", will probably end up in the Smithsonian. And as cool and endearing as the experience was for me, it was equally as bittersweet and painful. When Willie turned and smiled at me during the performance, I was almost brought to tears because all I could think was, "I wish Pop were here to see this." I sincerely wish that he could have lived long enough to have seen one of his kids be onstage with his musical idol, the Red Headed Stranger whom he held in his heart to be one the greatest and most talented songwriters and musicians to have ever lived. Had he still been with us, I would have seen to it that my dad met Willie, which would have probably been equally as cool for me as making music with Willie.
I know, I sentimental ones out there are thinking to yourselves, "Don't be sad, he saw it. He was watching." A beautiful and heartfelt sentiment, and also not much comfort. But thank you.

Happy Father's Day, Pop. I love you. I miss you. Thank you for inspiring me to become a musician, and for teaching me the love of music. I hope you got to see me with Willie. I hope I have made you proud. ~your loving son.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Where have I been?

Ok, ok, ok...
For the extremely small number of you who actually read this stuff, I sincerely apologize for the long gap between blogs.
There has been much going on. For those of you who are not married to me and would have no other way of knowing, the guys and I have been completing a new record (CD for you Gen-Xers, and "Downloadable Collection" for you youngsters out there!). We also started the new tour season recently. All pretty exciting stuff.

Life for me lately has been pretty normal, I guess...excepting of course for walking the red carpet at the ACMs. My grass is in desperate need of mowing...I suppose I can tackle that this week. I'm sure parts of my home would benefit greatly from a stern spring cleaning...and perhaps a thinning out of stuff I no longer need. Maybe I will get to that one this week also (although I wouldn't bet on it! Eventually, yes, but probably not this week!) My girls are great. No real drama these days. My wife is still the most awesome wife ever...of course! (Be envious gentlemen...very envious!)

Like I life these days is fairly normal.

I did recently discover the wonderful world of twitter.  @chrisfryarZBB  in case you're curious. As with my blogging, I make no claims to being prolific nor entertaining with my tweets...but I am having fun nonetheless.

I also learned how to play the game of craps. Holly and I were in Vegas for the ACMs and we had some free time and decided to entertain ourselves with a short trip to the casino. Personally, I don't believe there is actually is such a thing as gambling...rather, I think there are activities that consist solely of winning and losing. Society refers to it as gambling because society doesn't want to admit to being a total dumbass sucker that happens to be better at losing than winning...just my opinion, I could be wrong.
As it turns out, Holly and I had a blast in the casino. We had anticipated losing a set amount of money, but "beginner's luck" intervened instead. We left with considerably more than what we went in with and had an amazing time. We're already planning to go back soon...not to try to repeat our winning streak, but to just spend time there in Vegas as tourists.

Tonight, Holly and I watched a special on the R.M.S. TITANIC. It featured a lot of footage of the actual wreckage, filmed by director James Cameron, who, in my humble opinion, is very clearly obsessed. It was a terrible tragedy that will probably forever be a mystery. And, Cameron is probably responsible for making it possible for us to know much of what we know about that horrible occurrence of April 15, 1912. His obsession will clearly be our gain. All I know is I have really enjoyed watching this program...especially so because I watched it with my honey! (Though, I could have done without hearing that damn Celine Dion song again. Sorry ladies, I know that you all love it for some reason that completely escapes me, but I think I would rather listen to a family of pissed-off badgers that have been thrown into a tree chipper.)

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Why are my eyes open?

I know, I know...

It has been a minute or two since I last blogged. It's a careful balance of something to say, desire to write, and time to write it...and rarely do the three meet simultaneously! Sometimes I have something to say, but not the time. Sometimes I have the desire to write, but nothing to say. Sometimes I have the time, but my desires instruct me to do other things that I deem at that moment to be more important.

Tonight...all and none of those three are occurring and not occurring at the same time.

I got off the phone with my love earlier...both of our eyes were getting droopy, and the quiet yearnings of sleep were drawing us to our respective beds. So we said our "I love you's" and our "goodnight my love's" and hung up our phones.
My mind as well as my body was genuinely tired...I drifted off to sleep for just a short little while.

...and then woke up.

Why am I awake and writing this?


For some reason which completely escapes me at this moment (probably exhaustion), here I sit, alone, and wide eyed in my hotel room. Nothing interesting to watch on tv. My beautiful perfect wife is at home sleeping soundly (calling her back at this hour would be rude, selfish, and counter-productive). So...blogging seemed to be the most interesting thing to do.

The bad news is...

I guess for now I'll just have to struggle to keep my eyes shut and my mind empty in the hopes that tomorrow I can keep my eyes open and my mind focused.

I will say this though...
I happen to be married to the sweetest, most beautiful woman in the whole world. I am so blessed. She also happens to be my best friend and has been since we were kids. I cannot say enough good things about this woman. She's smart. She's funny. She's absolutely sexy. She's creative, thoughtful, and sweet natured...though she would politely disagree with all of that. Most importantly...she crazy enough to be married to my dumb ass. My dumb, rest-deprived, insomniac ass. The fact that she is willing to put up with me and all of my eccentricities is not only amazing, but also makes me love her that much more.

I'll scream it from the mountain tops if I have to...


Thursday, January 19, 2012

Uh...say what?

So me and the boys have a couple of shows in Vegas. One happens to be a private event at "The JOINT", which is connected to the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. Quite by chance, the biggest adult entertainment convention in the entire world happens to be occurring at the same time.

And the same location.

Of course, the convention and award show is happening in the convention center attached to the hotel and our event (for an entirely different group of people) is in a entirely different location, however, suffice it to say that the entire place is crawling with porn stars.

So as I was walking through the hotel from my room to the buses, stopping briefly at a Starbuck's to get some coffee, I couldn't help but notice that there were lots of women walking around, scantily clad, wearing name tags.
- Incidentally, my approach to such situations is very akin to looking at the get a sense that it is there and look away. You never stare directly at it! -

So that's exactly what I was doing, when I happened to notice that the girls I was avoiding looking at actually happen to be employees of the Hard Rock Casino. After laughing at myself for a moment, I then noticed that most of the women wearing AVN convention badges were actually dressed fairly appropriately for most moral standards of the society that we live in.

I'm not judging anyone here...just simply trying to point out the comedic value of the situation.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

New Year...New Dreams

So a little while before I sat down to write this, I happened to walk through the den where my my beautiful wife and one of my daughters were watching television. Actually, they were both in trance-like states on their laptops, but the tv was on. On the screen, I noticed a wedding ceremony taking place...a "Sex & the City" episode, though I couldn't tell you which one...
Well, if you must know, it was the episode where the jaded, cynical one was...sorry, too vague? Ok then, it was the episode where the jaded, cynical, red head was marrying her overtly nerdy "baby daddy". But that's really not the point.
The point is this - Seeing that wedding scene reminded me of the day I married Holly. We had a small gathering here at the house, and we offered our vows to each other in the front yard. It was a dream come true for me...seriously. For many years, I have been madly in love with Holly and always dreamed of one day marrying her. While I watched the few moments of fictitious matrimonial procedure on the tv I began to realize that one of my dreams had been fulfilled when I married Holly.

This instantly led me to an interesting conundrum..."Hmmm, what now?" I thought quietly to myself. What does one do when a dream is truly realized? This has happened to me a lot in the last couple of years. I have been blessed beyond words. I have had many of my life long dreams come true. I have been slowly and surely ticking things off the old "bucket list". So I ask again..."Now what?"

Here's what I came up with.

Fortunately, we are never too old to set a new goal, or dream a new dream. So I will add to my bucket list. I will dream new dreams. I will set new goals for myself...or at least extend the goals I'm working towards. I'm a big believer in chasing dreams. It's the chasing of those dreams that becomes our path through life. And it's not where we are that defines's where we want to go and how we travel there that does.
As far as my wonderful wife is concerned, since I had a dream fulfilled the day we got married, I need to dream a new dream for the two of us. I need to revisit and reset goals. I will definitely keep this all in the forefront of my mind.