Archive | 8:37 pm

Girl vs. Gluttony

27 Apr

Go ahead and admit it, girls: we’ve all eaten our feelings at one point or another.  You too, guys, admit it.  Sometimes there’s nothing a pint of ice cream or a big fat slice of chocolate cake can’t fix.  Sure, afterward we tend to feel like shit – but for those few moments we’re silently weeping into the pint of Chubby Hubby, it feels so right.

Yes, it’s true, I’ve probably gained about 10 pounds from feelings, but, whatever, it happens.  Just as surely as I pack it on, I drop it too.  It just requires getting my ass off the couch and doing something about it.

Tonight I chose to skip the gym and watch “Man vs. Food.”  Good show.  Great show.  As I was sitting here watching Adam Richman hang out in Knoxville where he chowed down on 1/2 pound of mac n cheese, 1/2 pound of banana pudding, and a four pound burrito.  The burrito had two pounds of pork, almost a pound of cheese, and a pound of beans.  As I was watching him wipe the sweat off his brow while he hit a food wall, something occurred to me: dude has a lot of feelings.  You know, he probably has an eating disorder.  For really reals, not funnies right now.  Do you have any idea what eating like that is doing to his body?  Imagine how his stomach must feel like after he chows down on grilled cheese sandwich with two pounds of cheese.  That’s not healthy, people.

Then my mind turned to something else: I would HATE to walk into the bathroom after he’s done taking it out on the toilet.  Jesus Christ, can you imagine the state of his poop?  Gross.

Just talked myself out of having anything chocolate for dessert.

Gross, Adam Richman!!  Your poop is gross!!