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The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Heyyyyy campers! But I'm the oldest. The matriarch if you will. Sure, I will.

What have we always said is the most important thing? Breakfast. Well, no I was thinking family. Heart attack never stopped old big bear!

I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits. Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne. I'm not gonna cry about my pa! So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary, and we don't need anymore lawsuits. And don't make the water too hot. The scabs come right off.

I made a huge tiny mistake. There's a new daddy in town. A discipline daddy. Let's make Ann the backup, okay? Very good way to think about her, as a backup. It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door. For the same reason you should believe a hundred dollar bill is no more than a hundred pennies!

You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent. What about macaroni – let me finish – salad? I'm calling it "Tricks" - let me finish - around the office.

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Heyyyyy, hermano. She calls it a mayonegg. You're losing blood, aren't you? Probably, my socks are wet.

Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp. Well I don't see you crying robot!

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I'd be very careful of these British people. They're going to try to get their hands on any evidence they can to hurt the family. So you're saying shred the evidence?

No, that's illegal. The prosecution is entitled to that evidence. Without it, they don't have a case.

So you're saying shred the evidence?

That's a felony. And I certainly couldn't endorse anything like that. Got ya. Wink.

Wink. Did you say "wink" or did you wink?

He said that, too, Dad.

Te quiero. English, please. I love you! Great, now I'm late.

It's OUR nausea. If that man's straight, then I am sober. There are dozens of us! Dozens!

That was Tom Cruise, the actor. They said he was some kind of scientist. I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest.

Look. G.O.B., instead of trying to impress your fake father, maybe you should spend some time with your real son. Steve Holt's not my son.

G.O.B., you can't shred this evidence. You'll end up in jail. Dad told me to. How can I say no to that face?

Get this stuff out of here, and put it somewhere where Dad can't get to it. Are you in on this, too? No, I'm just here to go out to lunch with your father.

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We need balloons. A party. We need to throw a party for Buster's stupid thing. Larry, go get go get some balloons.

It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me.

Wine only turns to alcohol if you let it sit.

I've made a huge tiny mistake. I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. It's a gaming ship.

Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder? Buster's in what we like to call a light to no coma. In layman's terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap.

Yeah, like I'm going to spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit? Come on!

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Buster had overcome his fear of seals. Unfortunately, he'd done so by knocking out Michael's new girlfriend.

Almost at the Bottom!

In the mid '90s, Tobias formed a folk music band with Lindsay and Maebe which he called Dr. Funke's 100 Percent Natural Good Time Family Band Solution. The group was underwritten by the Natural Food Life Company, a division of Chem-Grow, an Allen Crayne acquisition, which was part of the Squimm Group. Their motto was simple: We keep you alive.

How about a turtle? I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces.

You know, you've been here two months. It's hard to gauge time. I am going to my spin class. I thought you had vertigo.


She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. Maybe we should call her?

No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being WITH you.

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Heyyyyyy, Uncle Father Oscar. If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break.

This shall keep me safe from the hot Mexican sun.

Way to plant, Ann! It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City.

I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I? Actually, she died.

There's been a lot of lying in this family. And a lot of love! More lies.