My mouth is a carwash

When you’re brushing your teeth, do you imagine your teeth are cars in a car wash?

Because I do.

I imagine people sat in the cars rolling their eyes when they think the car wash is over… But wait! Nope, it’s not finished. It compels me to do a very thorough clean because the thought of them rolling their eyes as more froth comes upon them amuses me.

And then I imagine them breathing a sigh of relief and thinking, “It’s finally over!” and ready to put their engines back on. But they see the lights that tell them when they can leave still haven’t changed from red. So they stare at the light, “Come on!” Their knuckles going white with impatience. But then they get another assault with mouthwash now, a gargle and then the rinse after.

In the end, they have really pristine cars. But the drivers are initially too pissed off at the amount of time it takes as they know they pressed the button that said, “QUICK WASH,” which is cheaper than the deluxe wash. And they drive away wondering what the luxurious wash must consist of if the one they’ve just been through was the quick one!

Suffering creates character….


And isn’t it this train of thought that is the problem?

There is an element of truth to it, for sure. But I see all these people competing who suffered the most, and I wonder if this idea of being heroic and suffering to create character is part of the problem? Not that I have a solution, just that it’s a problem I’ve recognised in the human condition. I get the sense some humans feel they haven’t suffered enough, though it seems counterintuitive to want more suffering it seems like people are jealous of people who have gained ‘character’ from suffering.

If I can be oppressed (or claim to be oppressed), then I have something to fight (or something to claim to be fighting).

The paradox in all this? There is suffering in the conquest for more ‘worthy’ suffering…..

Inane or insane: General enquiries that turn into in(s)ane ramblings.

Hello, I was just wondering if it’s possible to change from printed subscription to digital subscriptions only? Also are your magazines recyclable? I ask because I wish to recycle old issues as I’m conscious of space. Though they might make some money on a 4D antique show when I’m long, long dead after a long lost celebrity ‘cousin’  happens to end up on ‘who do you think you are?’ and looks into my sad little life and finds my magazines, I don’t really care for making fortunes or for hoarding for the time being either. I duly hope that they are recyclable (This is a lie my hope for it being recycliable is not to appropiate levels at all, it’s bordering insane. Insane needs to sort it’s borders out so that us sane folk can’t get in) after all, your publication is about the natural world, and I like to think you care enough to make those glossy pages of birds with their bright breasts as environmentally friendly as possible.

Yours faithfully (Thats a lie, I don’t do faith. I’m an extremely paranoid person. Please don’t blacklist me)