Top 10 Posts for April 2014

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  1. Heaven is for Real
  3. Getting Married is Easier than Staying Married
  4. Why Revolution Church Doesn’t Have a Women’s Ministry
  5. You’re One Choice Away from Wrecking Your Life
  6. Get the Men, Win the War
  7. The One Thing Destroying Your Marriage That You Don’t Realize
  8. Why You Aren’t a Leader
  9. Stop Giving Him an Out
  10. What I’ve Learned from Being Married for 10 Years
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Women, It Matters Who You Marry


(Photo credit: Lel4nd)



There are many sides and applications to this verse.

The first is to women. I’ll blog another time about fathers and the impact of this verse.

In our culture, we often minimize the impact that comes from who we marry. Whether it is movies, the rise in divorce, the lack of seeing strong marriages as we grow up, but whatever it is, many people seem to minimize the impact of this decision.

Outside of your choice to follow Jesus, who you marry will have more of an impact on your life than any other decision you make.

The woman in Proverbs 31 marries well. She marries a man who is respected. He is at the city gates, with the elders. The gates is where decisions are made. He is part of leading the city and community. He is respected by the others.

Women, if you want marry well, marry a man who is respected by other men.

Men respect men.

Don’t marry a guy you think you will make into a man. That doesn’t happen.

How do you know if you are dating a man or a boy? Here are few ways to find out:

  1. Get him around men you respect. Men can spot men. They can also spot a fake. Women can struggle with this because they fall for a boy and can’t see the truth. Those around you can. Ask men you respect what they think of him. This might be a father, a pastor, someone in your MC, someone who cares about you and wants to see you find a man.
  2. Ask him about his vision for his life. This one question separates men from boys. Men have a vision for their life, which means they will have a vision for your life as a couple. Boys do not. They are simply floating through life waiting for it to happen.
  3. Look at how he worships. Does he read his bible? Does he serve in a church? Does he love Jesus? How does he worship? How does he use his money? How he does these things while you date is exactly what he’ll do when you are married. Most of the time, men will take these things down a notch when they get married, but that’s a post for another day.
  4. Look at his work ethic. Does he have a job? Does he provide for himself? Is he saving money or getting into debt? Men work hard. Men are called to provide (1 Timothy 5:8).

Ladies, marry well.

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Are You Ready to Fight?


Fight kicks off 1 week from today!


February 16: When Strong Men are Weak
February 23: Emotions that Take Strong Men Down
March 2: You’re One Decision Away from Wrecking Your Life
March 9: Failing Forward

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Photoshop, Beauty & Women



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Book Notes | The Catalyst Leader


The Catalyst Leader by Brad Lomenick was an incredible leadership book. I don’t know how else to qualify this book. If you are a leader, or hope to be a leader, this book is one you need to read this year.

I’ve already shared some thoughts from it on How to figure out God’s will, The time has come…, How to be an authentic leader and How to be capable to accomplish your dreams.

In this book, Lomenick uncovers the 8 things leaders today must do to be who God created them to be. Even though this book is marketed as a book for younger leaders (and if you’re under 30 you should read this), it is for a leader of any age.

One of the things I’ve been chewing on is this


In fact, after reading this book it made my goals for growth in 2014 obvious to me.

Here are a few highlights:

  • We must never compare our beginning to someone else’s ending.
  • When people lead well, they are more likely to finish well.
  • The right thing said in the wrong way is the wrong thing.
  • Without knowledge of one’s calling, leading well is impossible.
  • A great lesson about leadership: I’m best when I’m being me.
  • We must grow comfortable with who we are before we can share that person with others.
  • God is more interested in the sanctity of his people than the success of our ministries.
  • The best leaders is that they have the ability to “make it happen” and get something over the finish line.
  • Part of being a disciplined leader is being ready.
  • The most influential platforms today revolve around sharing and generosity.

To see other book notes, click here.

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Making Room for What Matters | Live the Life You Want


On Sunday, I finished our Breathing Room series at Revolution by looking at how to find breathing room between work, life and everything that has to get done. This week, I want to share 6 simple ways I’ve done that and you can to. I’m going to share one each day so you have time to process them and hopefully put some things into practice.

The first one we looked at was how to get a good night sleepTuesday, we talked about why you should take a break every 90 minutes. Wednesday, we looked at what electronics can do to our margin. Yesterday we looked at what will probably be the most controversial or at least, the one you think is unattainable: Pay people to do what you hate

Today is the second last one, but also one of the most important things to making room for what matters most: Live the life you want, not the one others want you to live. 

This came up in the first week of our Breathing Room series and it is a game changer for me.

Too many people live the life others want them to live, make choices others expect them to make and miss life. They leave their dreams on the table and live a life they don’t want to live.

How sad.

This can be seen in the jobs people take, the houses they live in, the sports and activities their kids do, even the people they have as friends or marry.

Think for a minute, what is it that you want to accomplish with your one and only life?

What things if you don’t do will you regret? Travel? Writing a book? Retiring early? Taking up a hobby? Starting a ministry or company?

What is keeping you from those things?

Fear stands in the way of many. What will people think about it?

So far, we have done 2 things that friends and family thought were crazy. We were told by friends and family members that planting a church was not a smart career move because of the percentage that don’t survive. We were told that adopting would bankrupt and set us back financially.

Yet, if we didn’t do those two things, we would live with regret and always wonder, “What if?”

Living with regret is not living.

Make a commitment today, not to live with regret. Live with passion and abandon.


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Why do a Series on Men & Women?













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Beautiful starts in 2 Weeks!



Here’s what is happened starting January 26th:



January 26: Me, Beautiful?
February 2: Letting Go of Your Past
February 9: The Priorities of a Woman

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Links I Like



Porn hurts women.

Imagine being the woman who has to convince herself not to take it personally when her husband would rather “whet his appetite” by ogling another woman. It’s just the way men are wired; they can’t help it. It’s got nothing to do with me.But her man arouses himself with enhanced, airbrushed images of nineteen year-olds willing to humiliate and abuse themselves. It’s hard to pretend everything’s alright when she’s pretty sure he’s thinking of other women while he has sex with her.

Ron Edmondson on How physical training helps spiritual training.


When women lust.



Stephen Altrogge on The internet makes us all miserable.


Links I Like



  1. Practicing biblical hospitality.
  2. Geoff Surratt on 3 reasons guests don’t return to your church.
  3. An email from a proud deadbeat dad. Love Matt’s response. Definitely shows what is wrong with men in our culture.
  4. John Piper on Parents, require obedience from your children.
  5. 6 trends in kids ministry.
  6. Carlos Whitaker on 4 tips on how to handle social media with your kids. Great tips for parents.
  7. One father writes a letter to his daughters about body image. If you have a daughter, help her understand biblical body image.
  8. 30 hour work week.