Sunday, November 4, 2018

Kills of the Week

Every carebear in highsec owes our Agents a debt of gratitude. Too often, though, the ungrateful carebears engage in disgusting acts of bot-aspirancy. Our Agents make sure those carebears get what they deserve. Want some examples? You came to the right place. From the week of October 28th @ 00:00 EVEtime through November 3rd @ 23:59 EVEtime:

Say, what's worse than a mining battleship?

How about a fleet of mining battleships, all owned and operated by known botters? Let's name and shame these bots: madi Pserad, keiq Shakiel, wu Hemah, make Davaham, kuqi Amelana, aiqi Irvam, lipi Kelmalu, kan Zirud, and kai Yeva.

These criminals were reported for botting after their ships were blown up by Agents Hulk Poddington, Skiff Poddington, Mack Poddington, James Poddington, and Lawrence Lawton. Even if CCP doesn't take action, our Agents always will. Always!

Say, what's worse than losing a jump freighter by trying to autopilot through Niarja?

Our Agent taught Coyote Jane Firehouse a lesson, and then another. That's the thing about carebears--they're big on repetition. Coyote Jane's ships were worth a combined 21 billion isk (plus 2 billion isk in post-gank fees). They were destroyed by Agents big brutor one, big brutor two, Bob Painter, Inspector Implant, Mjolnir Rage Torpedo, Bob Mechanic, Bob Welder, George Painter, Bob Electrician, big brutor six, Dubious Anime Name, Further Painting, Continue Painting, Nova Rage Torpedo, and Shauna Hekki.

Say, what's worse than bringing an unlicensed Skiff into Halaima, the very birthplace of the Code?

Now you're getting it.

A fleet of Skiffs (and their pods) paid a 9 billion isk penalty for their extended AFK session. The guilty parties: Volod'a Sharapov, Gleb Gegloff, FrauFogel, Ravshan Ogli, Maldavashka, DooovaKin, ErnestoCheGevara, and Maryska Klimova.

They were brought to justice by Agents holdmypleb, Whale Harpoon, Catalyst Whisperer, Fruit Loop Enthusiast, Professional Pilot Instructor, Extremely Jumpy Mango, Hot Salt, Pleb Tea, Kullanmuru, and Infinite Devotion. Halaima's finest.

Pinnel Sax corporation was treated to a wardec from Agent Ernst Steinitz's alt corp. Though it took them over an hour to whittle down the EHP of Pinnel Sax's Fortizar, our Agents got the job done. Since wardec mechanics are so tilted against the defender, the defenders didn't bother defending. Kudos to Agents Entelligente Ente, Entelligente, Sotiyo Gunner, Azbel Gunner, Keepstar Gunner, Fortizar Gunner, and Astrahus Gunner.

You can buy almost anything in Jita, but crostini couldn't buy a clue. She lost her 32.9 billion isk jump freighter the same way countless others have, thanks to the heroics of Agents Taxman Daniel, Australian Excellence, Tax Collector HongMei, Jayson Kusion, Tax Collector Kittens, Pod Destroyer Molly, Joel Kusion, Tax Collector BokChoy, Justin Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Tax Collector Aruka, Jayden Kusion, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Jackson Kusion, Jake Kusion, Tax Collector Richard, Jeremiah Kusion, Tax Collector Max, Joshua Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jason Kusion, HSM Chief PettyOfficer, HSM Fleet Admiral, and HSM MasterChief PettyOfficer.

Archer Talm lost a 2.3 billion isk hauler on the Kaaputenen gate in Niarja. Over three hours later, he was podded by Agent Rhona Draken.

The carebear lost 3.7 billion isk in implants. I can't imagine the pod was sitting AFK next to a busy stargate for that long. Presumably Archer returned to the scene of the crime in a naked, autopiloting pod. Either way, Archer was supremely guilty. I'm glad he lost his implants. Aren't you?


  1. You can't cure stupid.

  2. Same reason shardani suicide ganked his kid, nonstop daily failure

  3. Hisec carebears like to complain that the New Order "only shoots ships that can't shoot back". It's not our fault that those 9 Armageddons all chose to not fit guns when they decided to PVP with our Agents.

  4. I just can't stop laughing at the lengths they go to in order to avoid being ganked.

    i would have spat my tea all over the keyboard scouting that shit down to discover them bot mining.

    Good job Lawrence.

  5. wow just wow antiganking failing so hard right now

