The Return of Winifred

By Jareth

Chapter Twenty-nine: Nimnul vs. Nimnul

Winifred stared blankly, her eyes fixated on her brother. Waiting for Norman’s arrival, she had been playing various scenarios through her head, trying to devise the perfect comebacks for whatever he might say. Now however, upon his arrival, despite her ability to know exactly what he would say five seconds ahead of time, Winifred found herself at a complete loss for words, desperately trying to think of something; anything to say. Despite the hours of preparation for this confrontation, all she could do was bitterly scowl, “You.”

“Wow.” Commented Professor Nimnul “you actually summoned up enough intelligence to remember me… or are you just playing along?”

“I remember you! I’m not stupid!” Winfred protested defensively, clenching her fists. She couldn’t believe that it was happening again. On the schoolyard, when Norman tormented her, every simple comeback she so casually used on the other children would vanish, leaving her feeling incredibly stupid and frustrated. Now, more than twenty years later, it seemed that little had changed.

“Oh you’re not stupid?” Norman asked sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “Than I suppose you could tell me… THE CAPITAL OF KANSASS!?”

Winifred could feel the emotional turmoil filling her entire body again. Why? Why did this have to happen?

“You don’t know, do you.” Norman sighed, shaking his head. If only your brain were as big as your nose.

Just as she had done as a child, Winifred shamefully reached up to cover her nose… Only to suddenly remember that she no longer possessed it. In fact, her nose was perfect, as was every other aspect of her physical appearance. Winifred suddenly realized that, thanks to her “magical makeover”, Her brother had now lost over two thirds of his insult material. She actually stood a chance! Winifred looked up, making direct eye contact with her older brother, before responding slyly with, “…What nose?”

Norman had immediately realized his mistake upon uttering the words. With his sister now attractive, he was actually going to have to think up some new material to use until his mech had completely warmed up for combat mode. Quickly, Norman began to scan Winfred’s body up and down, looking for some kind of flaw; none. “Uh…” Norman began slowly. “Um… That nose!” He yelled nervously, pointing at his sister’s perfect nose.

“There’s nothing wrong with my nose.” Winifred snapped.

A grin began to form on Norman’s face “Yes there is.” He said slyly. “It’s huge.”

“What?! It is not! It’s perfect!” Yelled Winifred.

“What?!” Norman yelled as if it were the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard. “Come off it! It’s got to be at least twice as big as before!”

“It is not!” Winifred shouted defensively, involuntarily feeling her nose to make sure.

“*pffft, whatever you say Freddie.” Norman said casually, nonchalantly glancing over his shoulder.

Winifred collapsed onto her knees and began to break into tears. Despite having full five seconds to prepare for his insults, every one of them hit full force. The pre-knowledge only made it that much more aggravating. What was the point of having psychic powers at all?!

Norman watched His sister cry, feeling quite satisfied with his work. He shot a quick glance down at a small meter that sat on the top of his control panel. The meter momentarily read seventy-eight percent, before abruptly moving up to seventy-nine percent. A small timer under the meter read: nine min. “Drat.” He thought to himself. “How am I supposed to keep her busy for nine minutes?” He glanced at his sobbing sibling. “I can only hope that she stays in her emotional trance and keeps crying until this thing’s warmed up.”

Winifred continued sobbing, in between sobs, choking out, “M-my n-n-nose isn’t bi-ig.”

Norman looked at the control board timer; eight minutes and nine seconds left.

Winifred continued to sob. “I can’t let him do this to me!” She thought angrily. “I’m not a fat ugly little girl anymore, I’ve got to fight back!” Winifred looked up at Norman, who was glancing at the controls of his machine. “Yo-your nose is big!” Winifred said, her tears beginning to reside. Winifred stood up, wiping some final tears from her eyes.

“MY NOSE?!” Norman yelled. This was bad. It look as if his sister was having an emotional revelation, and at the worst possible moment too; there were still seven minutes remaining until his mech was completely charged. “Your nose is big!” He yelled.

“Your glasses are dorky.” Winifred said with an evil grin.

“Your outfit is stupid!” Norman retorted.

“Your lab coat is stupid!”

“Dung tongue!”

“Fizem barber”

“Green eyed psycho!”

“Gnome in a lab coat!”

“Hag in a—Whatever your wearing is called!”

“Four-eyed freak!”

“Two eyed turnip!

“Senior professor short stuff!”

“Wicked witch of the washroom!”



“Ooh!” Winifred scowled, shuddering. “You miserable little… Wait.” Winifred’s demeanor suddenly became eerily calm, an evil look spreading across her face. “Why am I even taking this from you…” Winifred raised a hand over her head; a small red globe began to form in it. “…When you could take this from ME!” With a hard swing, Winifred pitched the small globe at her brother’s head.

“Yaaa!” Norman screamed, ducking just in the nick of time. He whirled around to see the small glowing orb fly off toward the city, out of sight. “Ha!” he yelled, “Missed!” *BOOM!!! A loud explosion made him turn around. “What! What the—” he yelled in surprise. A good portion of the city was gone; a giant red mushroom cloud standing where it once was. “Eep.” Norman squeaked.

“Ha ha ha ha haaaa!” Winifred cackled. “Now my brother, do you see what I am capable of! You don’t stand a chance against me!”

Norman nervously glanced down at his control panel. Suddenly, a sly smile began to spread across his face. “You fool.” He said evilly.

“What!?” Thundered Winifred.

“While you’ve been crying and screaming,” Explained Norman, “The human hunter 8000 here has been charging up, and is now ready for combat mode!”

“Human hunter 8000?” Winifred repeated, sounding mildly impressed. “Knowing you, I thought that it would be called the Long-range Empirical Ground Stomper, or the LEGS for short. This must be your first invention to have a respectable name.

“How did you know what it was originally— I mean, all my inventions have respectable names!” The FOGY, the Modemizer, the Giagantigo ray. I’m a genius!”

“No Norman,” Winifred sighed, shaking her head “you’re an idiot.”

“What!?” shouted Norman.

“Only an idiot would legally change their name from Norman to Norton.”

“Yeah?” Norman retaliated, “Well could an idiot do THIS!” With that, Norman reached forward and slapped a small red button on the bottom left of his control panel. The Human Hunter 8000 began to emit a clanking noise. Suddenly, the sides of the cab Norman was sitting in swung open, revealing what appeared to be a tangle of metal cables. The mass of cables swung out on either side, unfolding themselves into arms. The arms were held together by, what appeared to be a mass of scaffolding and titanium cables, gears and wires visible within. The ends of the arms were cylindrical, flat on the ends, and had titanium casings, making them the only part of the arms that couldn’t be seen through. Without a word, Norman reached down and opened a glove compartment, containing a pair of long, thick, leather gloves, both of which had wires coming out of their ends. Nestled on top of the gloves, was a pair of, black, round framed, small lensed, red sunglasses. The side frames of the glasses had a curious W like bend to them, and had a small black wire protruding from the back of the right frame. Norman carefully removed the gloves and slid them on over his arms. He then proceeded to remove his glasses, and gently place the sunglasses over his eyes. He then traced the wires coming from the gloves and sunglasses until he found the end. He then carefully took the end of the wire and plugged it into a small port of the control panel.

Winifred raised an eyebrow.

With that, Norman jerked his fists out in front of him, and opened them, casing the ends of his mech’s arms to open as hands came out of them. He then struck a fighting pose; his mech did the same. “Ha!” He yelled, “You were saying?”

Winifred stared skeptically. “Yes yes, it’s very cool, but how—” she began, but was cut off by Norman.

“Yes it is cool, isn’t it? Ingenious if I do say so myself!” He proclaimed, raising his hands and causing the mech do the same. “It uses an augmented reality system to control the arms, and these glasses tell me the things that I would normally have to look down to see; my speed, my energy level, my tachometer; It even highlights my enemy in white, so I can keep better track of her movements!”

“Yes,” Winifred began again, “but how do you know it works?”

Norman gave a crazey smile. “I’m gonna find out right now, YAAAA!” With that, the mech began to run towards Winifred at blinding speed, arms outstretched, ready to tackle her. It looked as if Norman would hit her, but Winifred suddenly disappeared, reappearing behind him. “What?!” Norman yelled, furiously, stopping and turning the mech around, “when did you— YA!” Again he lunged at Winifred.

This time, using only her right leg, Winifred jumped twenty-eight feet in the air, doing a flip and landing gracefully on the back of Norman’s seat.

“What?!” Norman yelled angrily, “Get off of there!” He brought the mech’s hands together behind him, trying to crush her. However, Winifred simply jumped again, this time landing in front of him. “ARRAGH!” Norman yelled angrily. “Hold still!”

“If you insist.” Winifred said slyly. The mech’s hands began to fly together around her. It looked as if she would be crushed between them. Suddenly, Winifred outstretched her arms, and using only her pinkies, stopped the giant metal hands from coming together.

“Gotcha!” Yelled Norman. With that, a metal boxing glove exploded out of the front of the cab, and with a loud “*clang!”, struck Winifred right in the face. “The - end!” Norman yelled, cracking his knuckles. However, as the mech followed Norman’s movements, lifting it’s hand’s out of the way, it revealed a sight that was too impossible to believe. The fist had struck Winifred head on, but hadn’t even scratched her. In fact, she seemed completely unfazed.

Winifred calmly backed away, just so she could see the dumbfounded and horrified look on her brother’s face. She smiled evilly. “I’ll give you three more pathetic attempts before I attack.”

“What?!” Norman yelled furiously. “Do you think you’re in any position to toy with me?!”

“Yes.” Winifred answered coolly. “I think that I’m in the perfect position to toy with you.”

“Drat.” Norman cursed, banging his hand on the control panel (the mech did the same to the floor), this is going to be a lot tougher than I thought.”

Meanwhile, not too far below, Monty was not having much better luck with Darien. It seemed that no matter what, despite the constant advice being yelled to him by his friends, he could seem to land a single hit on Darien. Not only that, but despite the consistency of Darien’s assaults, which literally occurred ever minute on the dot, he was unable to avoid a single one. Now, covered in scratch marks, Monty fiercely continued to fight the seemingly hopeless battle, desperately trying to land at least one strike. Darien just knew mice too well.

Zipper made a “Kick him in the muzzle!” noise.

Monty attempted to, but Darien just back flipped out of the way and charged him again.

“This is hopeless!” Chip yelled in frustration. “How can you beat someone who knows exactly what you’re going to to?!”

“I’ve been trying to think of a some kind of strategy for him, but nothing works.” said Gadget. “If only he hadn’t thrown me out.”

“You wouldn’t be able to help.” Corrected Sparky. “You’re a mouse too. You’d be in the same position Monterey’s in.

“Darien just knows mice too well.” Sighed Dale. If only Monty were a bear, or a wolf, or a shark, or a…”

“That’s it!” Chip yelled, hitting his fist into his hand.

“What’s it?” asked Gadget.

“Monty!” Called Chip.

Monty stopped and looked over to Chip

“Fight like a wallaby!”

“What?!” Monty asked. “A walla—”, Monty suddenly realized exactly what Chip meant. A grin spread across his face. Perhaps he might have a shot at survival after all.

Darien looked at Monty and sighed. “Your rodentian antics bore me..” He said coolly. “I think that I’m going to just end this.” With incredible swiftness, Darien began to charge.

“Please work!” Monty thought to himself.

With a powerful kick of his hind legs, Darien lunged, open mouthed, at Monty.

He was merely inches away from tearing into Monty’s chest, when Monty jumped up, and using both of his legs, kicked Darien away from him and hard into the barrier.

“What the…” Darien began, dumbfounded. “How did you…”

“I leard that one from a wallaby in Brisbane.” Monty said with a grin. With that, Monty jumped to the right and charged, ramming headfirst into Darien’s side.

Darien let out an “*oof” as he rolled over and back onto his feet.

“Learned that one from a warthog in Queensland.” Said Monty.

Darien scowled and ran at him. However, Monty jumped and avoided the whole thing. He than spun around in mid air, kicking Darien on the way back down.

“Learned that one from a ninja gerbil in China.”

“Ninja gerbil!?” Darien yelled disdainfully. “YA!”

A new, blurred, high-speed fight ensued. This time however, it was Monty who had the upper hand. Darien couldn’t seem to land a single hit.

“All right Monty!” Everyone cheered at once. They couldn’t believe it. What not too long ago seemed to be a hopeless struggle, had now become a Monterey massacre.

“HIIII-YA!” Monty yelled, kicking Darien across the entire area. Darien stood up and skidded to a halt.

“Why you little…” He scowled angrily.

“Looks like I’m too much for ya mate.” Monty said confidently. “I’d take a whole pack ‘o you to beat me now!”

Monty had expected some kind of angry response, but instead, Darien looked at the floor and grinned. “A whole pack?” He asked calmly.

“What’s he up to?” Sparky asked curiously, stroking his chin.

“That’s right!” Monty said, now beginning to sound a bit overconfident. “Too bad you ain’t got one. You’re the only fox ‘ere!”

Darien’s expression remained unchanged. “You’re half right; I am indeed the only fox present, but as for not having a pack, well…” Suddenly, Darien eyes began to glow brighter, now completely red. His seven tails, which had been moving in a wave like pattern, began to move unevenly. Each one doing something different, as if they belonged to different foxes. Suddenly, one tail began to move to the right.

“What the—What’s going on with that…” Monty trailed off and froze at what he saw. Everyone else did the same. Even Zipper stopped flying and landed. Out from behind Darien, stepped… another Darien. An exact duplicate, carrying one of Darien’s seven tails off with it. Just as the new fox had walked nonchalantly too the side, another fox stepped out from behind Darien, also taking a tail with it. This continued until Darien only had one tail left. The glow of his eyes began to dim back down.

“What… the… bloody…” Monty began, starring at the seven Dariens. He watch as they slowly began to make their way towards him.

“Th-that…” Gadget stammered, “That’s not possible… how…”

The seven Darien approached Monty and in the blink of an eye, surrounded him.

“Well?” Asked one of the Dariens

“…Can you guess…” Said another.

“…Which one of us …” Said another.

“…Is the real Darien?” Said another.

“Bet you can’t.” Said another.

“Bet you can’t.” Said another.

“Bet you can’t.” Said another.

Monty glanced from one Darien to another, they all looked completely alike! He was beginning to feel unnaturally frightened. “Tha-That one!” He yelled, pointing at the Darien to his direct left.

“No.” the Darien said coolly.

“That one then!” Monty yelled, pointing at the one to his direct right.

“Wrong again.” the Darien said coolly.

“Give up?” Asked the Darien who sat in front of him. An evil smile formed on their faces. “We all are!”

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