Secret Recipes: Mom’s Cheeseball

Every year around this time, mom starts making cheesball. Simply put, it’s a round ball made of cheese, and served with crackers. I’ve seen many a store-bought cheeseball with pimento cheese, rolled in almonds. This, my poor uncultured friends, is NOT a cheeseball. Yes, it might be labeled as one in the cheese section at Walmart, and may seem fancy, in it’s plastic wrapping, but this is NOT what the true meaning of the season of cheeseballs is.


THIS, is what the true meaning of the season of cheeseball is. Homemade goodness, rolled in parsley, and served with only the finest of Ritz and Wheat Thin crackers. Once brought to any party, the plate is empty within the first 15 minutes, and my mother has since learned to bring a second and even third one with her.

Many a housewife has eaten my mother’s cheeseball and told her, “Jenny! You have to share this recipe with me! It’s delicious!” And they’re right. It is.

So my mother smiles coyly, and pulls out a piece of paper, writing down her recipe to the perfect homemade cheeseball. Almost. In every recipe she writes, she always leaves out one tiny tip that makes all the difference. Because of this, while everyone else has decently tasting cheeseball, my mother’s continues to reign supreme.

As her daughter, I have received the secret recipe, and I will do my duty to continue keeping it a secret. Or will I?

SIDENOTE: I wear the goggles because it keeps the onion out of my eyes. That way it keeps me from turning into a teary eyed mess…



So now you know. You know the secret to Jenny Jones’ world famous cheeseball recipe. With great power comes great responsibility… how will you use your power? To conquer the world? Or bring peace on earth, and goodwill to all cheese eaters?


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