Today, I’m remembering my grandparents. My paternal grandmother, Helen Maude (Walker Carter) Hoffman passed away last night at the age of 95 after battling dementia for over five years. Her passing just happened to fall on the birthday of my maternal grandfather, Delbert W. Lacy, who passed away ten years ago. I never knew my paternal grandfather, Edgar Carter. He died before I was born. Vera L. (Morrell) Lacywas the first of my grandparents to pass during my lifetime, and she did so after a long physical struggle, too.

Right now, I’m reading The Selfish Gene, by Richard Dawkins, and the current chapter I’m on breaks down how “connected” we are to relatives based on our genetic make up and our connectivity. The equation of my “relatedness” to my grandparents is 1 x (1/2)2 = 1/4. I have a 1/4 of each one of my grandparents as part of my genetic make up. Put all four of my grandparents together, and I am a sum of those people. Part of their genetic make up continues to survive in me. On a scientific level, it’s fun to know my grandparents passed on their physical traits to me. I’ve got my grandpa Lacy’s nose, my grandpa Carter’s eyes, my grandma Lacy’s lips, and my grandma Carter’s body type.
Beyond physicality, though, these wonderful people taught me great lessons. Through their faith, I learned loving others is the greatest reason for living. I clear my throat like my grandpa Lacy. It wasn’t practiced. It wasn’t taught. One day, I just cleared my throat, and it sounded like my grandpa Lacy. My mother almost fell of her chair, it was so like old D.W.. He also taught me to fish. I don’t fish often these days, but when I do go on a lake, I remember how because grandpa Lacy taught me. My favorite pie is strawberry rhubarb, and that comes from my grandma Lacy. She made the best strawberry rhubarb pie in the world. I believe the secret ingredient was Jell-O. My mouth is watering right now. Grandma Carter taught me sensitivity. She was one of the most empathetic people I know. She could sense when things weren’t going well, and she knew how to give good council. My big heart for others comes directly from watching her care for her others. Like I mentioned, I never had the honor of meeting my grandpa Carter, but from what I know, the gregarious nature my father has was passed on to him from grandpa Carter. I’m sure everything I know about socializing and congregating with others comes from my grandpa Carter via my own dad.
It’s pretty great, when I think about it, to know how many wonderful qualities I have because of these four awesome people. I’m a pretty sentimental guy, and I know I often reflect that here on the blog. Sometimes, it feels a little self indulgent, but I hope what I share here is always universal. We all have grandparents. Whether we knew them or not, they’re a part of who we are and how we live our lives. As we get older and grandparents slip away, it’s easy to forget the influence they had on our lives. Today, I’m honoring my grandparents, thanking them for the traits I inherited and the things they taught me. Blessings to Helen, Ed, Vera and Delbert. You make up who I am.

dying to live

“Curiously, peace-time appeals for individuals to make some small sacrifice in the rate at which they increase their standard of living seem to be less effective than war-time appeals for individuals to lay down their lives.”

THE SELFISH GENE, Richard Dawkins

This parenthetical comment in the first chapter of Mr. Dawkins seminal book, “The Selfish Gene,” that coined the word “meme,” a topic I’m currently researching for my next work, hit me like a sack of potatoes as I read last night. Mr. Dawkins creates the framework around which the rest of the book hangs by explaining the difference between altruism and selfishness as it pertains to genes*. In this statement, he examines how nations benefit from people laying down their lives “for the greater glory of their country as a whole. Moreover, they are encouraged to kill other individuals about whom nothing is known except that they belong to a different nation.”

It is fascinating, for we are dealing with those very ironies right now. Do we deploy more troops to Afghanistan, thereby putting soldiers, our “enemies,” and civilians at risk of death, or do we pull back, thereby allowing our “enemies” safety, growth, and time to devise a plan to attack us again? On the other hand, people who claim to believe in the golden rule, “Love thy neighbor as thyself,” refuse to even listen to the idea of healthcare reform. They stand up at meetings, shouting down speakers who aim to explain.

The anger and frustration built for both scenarios are based on ideas. Americans heard lies that Saddam Hussein had WMDs, and most believed it. Convinced their lives were in danger, they sent thousands of young people to their deaths. Now, the lives of just over 44 million Americans – a larger number than that potentially killed in any terrorist attack – are at risk because they don’t have insurance. And again, this machine of lies is at work. They are comparing President Obama to Hitler and propagating the myth of “death panels.” And, because laziness and complacency allow one or two like-minded “news” shows to seep into American’s consciousness, the protection of its own nation is at stake.

In one scenario we are willing to kill our own so a certain majority can live the way they want to live. Soldiers’ deaths are considered a reasonable sacrifice. The second scenario, to my mind, is the same. People are concerned their comfortable lifestyles will be destroyed by high taxes, the elderly and mentally disabled will be euthanized or aborted, and long, horrible lines will begin forming at doctors offices and hospitals, if the current Administration’s healthcare policies pass. Since almost 259 million Americans (85%) have healthcare, those 44 million without (only 25%) is a reasonable sacrifice for the greater majority to survive.

The thoughts in Mr. Dawkin’s book, which I just started, grapple with humanity’s protection of “it’s own.” Whether we protect our “own” based on tribes, race, ethnicity or nations, is up for debate. The possibilities are exciting. A reoccurring theme in the book, so far, is what is seemingly altruistic (dying in war for the greater good of a nation) is actually a selfish act by the genes, which are only trying to keep the species thriving. In the case of healthcare, one set of genes “believes” healthcare reform threatens their very fiber of being, and the other set of genes “believes” only by affording healthcare to the 44 million uninsured, we are strengthening America’s fiber, thereby enhancing the nation’s core.

Personally, being one of the 44 million uninsured, I hope this current “peace-time” appeal for Americans to make a small sacrifice to increase our standard of living as a nation is more effective than the misinformation distributed by “news” organizations who helped catapult America into a war based on lies.

The small sacrifice of healthcare reform, to my mind, is the more evolved choice. Time will tell which set of genes is fittest, and which falls victim to natural selection.

* Please note the personification of genes does not imply genes are conscious. It is, as Mr. Dawkins explains in his book, only a way to understand the actions genes take. Genes do not have brains. They just do what they do because they are.