9 Things NOT to Say to Someone with a Brain Injury

Marie Rowland, PhD, EmpowermentAlly
9 Things NOT to Say to Someone with a Brain Injury




1. You seem fine to me.





3. You’re such a grump!



4. How many times do I have to tell you?




6. Your problem is all the medications you take.



7. Let me do that for you.



8. Try to think positively.



9. You’re lucky to be alive.




Comments (461)




Can anyone relate?


My mom has suffered a brain injury April 2015,





Thank you all so much.

I've had my tbi 5 years now.

People just won't get it.

Even those who are close to me.

“Why are you so hysterical” -my brother-


It’s sad. It hurts.






Well said, I read your post and thought finally!!

Thank you







its the barometric pressure change












You MUST tell someone! There's nothing to be ashamed of.












Keep positive my friend don't let others drag you down.




I am 17 years old. I've played contact hockey all my life and got hit in the head 3-4 times average each game. At first I didn't have any signs of brain damage but through the years I have 70% of symptoms (irritable, forgetfulness; more than the average person), concentration issues, insomnia, anxiety, depression, headaches that get worse, sudden blurred vision... the list goes on but I cant remember them all. And I think the worse of it all is that all my doctors are brushing it off as its all in my head and there's nothing to do about all these problems as my grades at school have dropped so much I fail all my classes... even the ones people take for an easy credit.

i seriously don't know what to do anymore.

You'll want to find a place that specializes in neuro rehab. Depending on the severity of his accident, there are inpatient neuro rehab hospitals across the country that provide 3 hours of therapy a day while also providing medical and nursing care. If the accident is less severe, there are outpatient physical therapy centers that specialize in neuro rehab for speech as well as occupational and physical therapy. You can start my googling neurological rehab centers near you. Or, if his case is very severe and he wouldn't yet qualify for a rehab hospital, long-term acute care hospitals offer a lesser amount of rehab, focusing more on medical needs. If his insurance won't cover that, you'll need to search for a nursing home that offers rehab services. Hope this helps.

I have a friend whose boyfriend was in an accident, and she texted me to see if i could help. She says that no one in the hospital wants to work with him. She didn't tell me why. So she asked me if I could get information and maybe try and help him with his speech. Can anyone recommend anything that might help? I'd be grateful.

Have his doctor make a referral to a speech therapist. Not only do they help with speech, but they help with memory and cognitive functioning. Watch YouTube videos on neroplasicity. Call your local welfare department and tell them you need a social worker and a care giver. Google local TBI/PTSD support groups. If you live near a college see if they have any programs. Ask your family doctor to make a referral for a neuropsycologist ... that's different from a neurologist. Hope this helps.

It's been 3 years since my very severe TBI from a car accident in December of 2013, or so I'm told. I was serving on active duty in the Air Force and somehow went off the road 1/2 mile from my house and hit a tree on the way home from work after a 12-hour overnight shift. It was the kind of accident nobody thought anyone could have possibly survived. After being airlifted to the trauma center and weeks in the hospital I finally started to realize what happened. I had Post Traumatic Amnesia for 6 weeks. That period is so difficult to understand because I have no memory of it at all. I was conscious and even recognized people and could talk to them, but I couldn't retain any new information. I don't know how many times my family had to explain to me what happened. My TBI at least made me immune to the pain from my broken leg, foot, chest, ribs, and collarbone. Once I was able to start remembering again and move to the rehab hospital, I finally realized the issues my injury was causing. I had a lot of trouble thinking, remembering, moving my right side. To this day, my right side is weak, and my sensation of feeling is very weak. After 5 months in the hospital, it was finally time to go home. Back at work, it was so strange, people were shocked to see me walking around. They heard I died. It was true enough that my supervisors weren't sure I'd pull through in the first few weeks. After 3 years, I've come to the realization that my right side issues are permanent. I go back and forth between feeling lucky to be alive, and so angry that I still have disabilities from my injuries. I had to be retired from the military from my injuries and to this day feel so strange that I'm actually a disabled veteran now. I wish more than anything I could go back and stop this from happening but then remind myself that I just have to move on and adjust to my new reality. It's frustrating because people have no idea that anything is wrong with me; I can talk, walk, do most everything. What people don't realize is how hard it is for me to actually do those things. I've explained to people that yes I can take a dish from the dishwasher and put it away normally, but when I lift that dish, it feels like it's 50 pounds to me, it isn't easy at all. I'm so grateful that I can do everything that I can do, but frustrated with how hard it is to do it. 12/20/2016

I had a stroke 2 years ago at the age of 33. I have aphasia from the stroke among other things. I had to learn how to speak and use language all over again (well enough to fake it to make it). Nobody knows anything about what I go through on a day to day basis. Whether it be trying to clean house (never seemed to irritate me as much or take as long, what was I saying?), oh yeah, calling to make appointments (wow people are rude), getting ready (see ya in 3 hrs; and I might need a nap after), figuring out what to cook for dinner (it my brain hurts among other things), oh the list goes on but seriously I can't remember. Everyone thinks I'm stupid; hell half the time I'm convinced of it too. It's a struggle every day. My husband no longer wants to spend time with me because I forget stuff (I'm still cheerful) he says I'm too annoying. Well, thanks! I'm all alone and I almost forgot I have 2 teenage boys that hate me. Everything has changed for the worst. No one makes it any better. Only worse. How the heck do people make it through this?

A neurologist once said to me my mild closed brain injuries were "Water Under the Bridge".  As if brain injuries just mean nothing over time.  I found a study on football players (of course they are getting all of the attention) that I think the white or grey brain matter continues to break down years after the injuries. Another worthless nurse once said MRI and CT scans can pick up all brain injuries. I hate needing to turn to the medical establishment when I encounter medial so called professionals who don't even read any of the latest literature on the brain.  It is shocking to learn how much doctors are not taught and will not learn on their own. 

I am just convinced I need to "fake it til I make it" for the rest of my life, and apologize a lot for the mistakes I constantly make that I can't even remember happened. No one cares, no one is supportive, no one even believes me, I am a burden to everyone, and no one is going to help me out but me. So I just have to do it. No one is going to hold my hand or tell me it will all be okay. They are just going to be annoyed with me because they think I am mean, rude, dumb, and think I don't care and that's that. My sincerity will just be my solace, not meant to be recognized by anyone outside of myself, just known to myself as the truth I have always lived. So now I know how it is for stupid people: not much different than having anxiety as a smart person was, but with less data recall. Invisible disabilities really suck.

Maybe this isn't the right place but I have nowhere to turn and ask I can't find anywhere else that I can post to but It's been one year since my injury I was hospitalized for a long time after and now since the anniversary date of the accident I keep waking up in the middle of the night at the same time that I used to in the hospital and can't sleep at night again. I'm really feeling in so many ways the same as I did before can someone please help me and tell me how normal this is?