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Anonymous asked in Entertainment & MusicJokes & Riddles · 1 decade ago

(GOT JOKES?) do you know funny jokes?

the funniest jokes to me win

13 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    Not One But Three I Found FUNNY




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  • 4 years ago

    You Know You're A Redneck When... 1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree. 2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter. 3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 4. You burn your yard rather than mow it. 5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive. 6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture. 7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it. 8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial. 9. You come back from the dump with more than you took. 10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. 11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. 12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list. 13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower. 14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog. 15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program. 16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold. 17. You have a rag for a gas cap. 18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does. 19. You wonder how service stations keep their restroom's so clean. 20. You can spit without opening your mouth. 21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it. 22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. 23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side. 24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart. 25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV. 26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table. 27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements. 28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back. 29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty. 30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65. 31. If your family tree doesn't branch.....

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  • 1 decade ago





    And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc, she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more 'symmetrically balanced'.




    ' Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?'




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  • 1 decade ago

    So a blonde a red head and a brunette all jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground last?

    The blonde because she had to ask for directions on the way down

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  • Joe
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    A man was speeding through town when he saw a police car coming up behind him with the siren blaring. the motorist put his foot down immediately and the speedometer was touching 80 as he turned into the high street.

    "oh sh!t" he said to him self, "this is no good" so he slowed down and pulled over.

    The police officer car drew up behind the car and an officer got out to speak to him.

    "did you realise you were doing 80 miles an hour in a 30 mile an hour zone?" he asked.

    'I'm sorry officer, you see my wife ran off with a copper a few months ago and when i saw you chasing me",

    'I thought you were trying to give her back."

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    how do old ladies make money without working? by going to super markets go down on the floor and yell I'm falling and I can't get up. once apon a time a long time ago long before I was born. well, I don't know because I wasn't born yet.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    A man was talking to another man and he said we are all in this pot together so lets be nice.Sometimes I don't know what kind of pot it is if it is a stew pot or a flower pot or a shi*t pot. So don't be a pot head................. Another joke..... A man was in church and the preacher asked him do you want to get delivered? And the man said No! the preacher said why not? The man replied because I want to keep my liver!

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  • 6 years ago

    The father and son drink a cratefull of beer.When the bottles are empty the father says

    "son go out and knock on the door and l will

    guess who is knocking."

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  • 1 decade ago


    The rabbit says, "You feel me first." The snake says okay, and he starts feeling the rabbit.


    The rabbit says, "I know! I'm a rabbit! Yippee!" Then the rabbit feels the snake.


    The snake says, "Oh no, I'm a lawyer."

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  • 1 decade ago

    why do they called dogs a man's best friend? because god name them after him by flipping his name into a dog god = dog. I saw a singing contest sang by handicapped people a blind singer sang I can see clearly now the rain is gone, the deaf sang I can hear your heart beat loud as thunder, the one with no legs sang I walk a thousand miles to be with you.

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