This Valentine’s Day, Get High With the One You Love

David Bienenstock, author of How to Smoke Pot (Properly): A Highbrow Guide to Getting High, presents a compelling argument for getting smokey and staring into each other’s eyes.
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Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart in American Ultra Alan Markfield / © Lionsgate

Marijuana quite famously fosters creativity, engenders empathy, sparks collaboration, and even incites desire as a proven aphrodisiac. So is it such a stretch to imagine that getting baked on the daily with your significant other just might lead to increased relationship satisfaction? (No.)

Who do you think invented “Netflix and chill,” anyway? The stoners.

So this Valentine's Day, whether you're part of a steady rolling cannabis couple, or just a special occasion toker, kindly consider surprising your main squeeze with a bouquet of top-shelf KK* instead of a dozen roses. Those buds will not only smell as sweet, they'll also get you both high as fuck.

*That's right Kanye, some top-shelf Kim Kardashian...

Ganja alone won’t renew the thrill of a love grown stale, but when used properly pot can bring a welcome feeling of novelty to the familiar, and serve as a catalyst to the kind of deep talk, belly laughs, and spontaneous intimacy that make things work long term. Take the scene in The Breakfast Club where the brain, the athlete, the basket case, the princess and the criminal all share some doobage and then two romances blossom amid the laughs and awkward dancing to follow. (That could be you with Molly Ringwald, son!)

Cannabis is not so much a love potion as it is a conduit to an enhanced version of life's many splendors—everything from listening to music to backgammon to Swan Lake with your mouth agape.


Due to the U.S. federal government's perpetual "crop blocking" of legitimate research, it's difficult enough to study whether marijuana is an effective treatment for cancer or PTSD, let alone if getting faded makes for more satisfied bonded pairs. Lack of comprehensive data aside, Harvard’s Dr. Lester Grinspoon has long theorized that the plant's primary benefits go beyond the good vibes, working to “deepen emotional and sexual intimacy” between couples.

And then there's the positive role pot can play in conflict resolution. To the uninitiated, stopping in the middle of a lover's quarrel to roll and smoke a doobie might sound kinda strange, but try it for a week and see if it doesn't take the edge off, leading to more heartfelt communication and mutual understanding. They don't call it the peace pipe for nothing.

For best results, integrate cannabis into your relationship in a thoughtful way and discuss your desires and intentions thoroughly before lighting up. (Also, don't ever pressure or cajole a partner who doesn't enjoy cannabis as much as you do, or weed shame one who likes it more.) As a simple rule of thumb, don't start getting stoned until you've both agreed on what you're going to do after you get stoned. If your Valentine’s Day agenda is to have a heartfelt talk about Us but your partner wants to slough off a shit day at work with an hour or so of Grand Theft Auto, no amount of bong rips can bridge that divide.