The Office Quotes

The Office

The Office

A mockumentary which follows the employees of the Scranton, Pennsylvania branch of a fictional paper company, Dunder Mufflin.

Original Run: 2005-2013.

Quote of the Day

Thursday, May 28, 2020

Quote from Michael Scott in The Chump

Pam: You want some ice cream?
Michael Scott: Oh! Oh wow, are those Eagles' flavors? "Cake it to the Limit". That's my favorite.

Popular Quotes

Quote from Michael Scott in Nepotism


Quote from Michael Scott in Safety Training

Michael Scott: My life! Oh, my life!

Quote from Jim in Product Recall

[Jim arrives for work wearing glasses, a side-parting hair cut, and a pale yellow shirt:]
Jim: It's kind of blurry. That's better. Question, what kind of bear is best?
Dwight K. Schrute: That's a ridiculous question.
Jim: False. Black bear.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, that's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought.
Jim: Fact, bears eat beets. Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.
Dwight K. Schrute: Bears do not- What is going on? What are you doing?
[aside to camera:]
Jim: Last week, I was in a drug store and I saw these glasses. Four dollars. And it only cost me $7 to recreate the rest of the ensemble and that's a grand total of $11.
Dwight K. Schrute: You know what? Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. So I thank you. Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!
Jim: Michael!
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, that's funny. Michael!

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Dwight Christmas

Dwight K. Schrute: In a head-to-head contest, people prefer Belsnickel over Santa every time. There aren't as many songs about him, but I attribute that more to rhyming difficulties. My brother and I wrote one once. It was about a fickle pickle salesman who would tickle you for a nickel.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Special Project

Dwight K. Schrute: The Shrutes have a word for when everything comes together in a man's life perfectly: Perfectinschlag. Hmm. Right now, I am in it. I finally get a chance to prove myself to corporate, I am assembling a competent team, I am likely a father, I am so deep inside of perfectinschlag right now. And just to be clear, there is a second definition, "perfect pork anus" which I don't mean.

Quote Collections

  • Michael Scott: The Misquotes

    “Michael Scott: The Misquotes”

    "Several times a day, Michael says words that are way beyond my vocabulary." - Jim Halpert


  • That's What She Said

    “That's What She Said”

    Every "That's What She Said" moment from The Office.


  • Christmas Quotes

    “Christmas Quotes”

    Whether you've been impish or admirable, are looking forward to a Benihana or Moroccan Christmas, enjoy the best Christmas quotes from The Office as you wait for Classy Santa and Belsnickel.