Agree to Disagree – Step 10

You did it! You worked your way through a practical and efficient method of communicating with your partner. How does it feel? Exhausting? It takes a lot of effort. It’s hard work. It’s definitely worth it. The more you practice communicating like this, the better you’ll get and the easier it will feel. Now for the final step.

  1. Identify the actual issue.
  2. Ask for what you want. 
  3. Tell them how it would make you feel. 
  4. Shut up.
  5. Listen.
  6. Let it go.
  7. Accept their apology and/or their attempt to make amends.
  8. Wash.Rinse. Repeat.
  9. Ask if there is anything blocking progress.
  10. Say thanks. Don’t you really appreciate when someone makes time to listen to your problems and help you figure them out? That’s so nice, right? Show some love and appreciation no matter the outcome. Unconditional love goes a long way. It’s also a really nice way to wrap up what might have been a tense conversation.

Focusing on the positive, illustrating a preferred alternative scenario, and being practical and specific about what you want and need will bring you quickly to a solution that addresses the issue behind the disagreement. Be encouraged and keep trying until you get the hang of it. And here’s a bonus relationship tip for you:

If you don’t care about something and your partner does, listen to their point of view, learn about it, and support them in it. Be a team whenever possible. It builds togetherness and intimacy, and it will strengthen your relationship. Go ahead, advocate for over-the-top TP roll placement. It is the right way, after all.

Stumbled upon this in the middle? Get back to step one of these communication tips by clicking here.

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