At least one late-night comedian had to tell what I hope is the last lame joke about Hillary Clinton's pantsuits when she left her position as Secretary of State.

As a woman whose life experiences have included world travel and sitting on stages or other places where skirts long or short are both inconvenient and inappropriate, I have to defend pantsuits. Pantsuit jokes press one of my few remaining need-to-rant-buttons — the one that reacts to people who don't know what they are talking about but talk anyhow.

Women with whom I've discussed the pantsuit issue agree that pants are safe, modest and especially useful when getting in and out of planes, trains, buses and automobiles. To enter a car gracefully while wearing a skirt, a woman must back up to the seat, sit, then swing her legs inside, a finishing-school tactic that works only if someone holds the door, if you don't fall into the gutter when stepping backward and if the skirt fabric doesn't stick to the car's upholstery; short skirts twist or ride up; long skirts can get slammed in the door. When driving, long skirts tangle around your legs; finding the right pedal is difficult. Long skirts can get caught in escalators or moving walk-way edges. Ever since I had to tear the bottom off a skirt caught in an escalator edge, I've traveled only in pants.

Attending events while in public service often makes pantsuits necessary. I've learned that sitting modestly on a stage or dais is nearly impossible with most skirt lengths. The finishing-school posture is: Sit up straight with your knees and lower legs pressed together and pointed sideways away from the audience, hands in your lap. I defy anyone to hold that position for more than 10 minutes and still listen and mentally process what's being said at a meeting or ceremony.

At one meeting I attended, tables were arranged in a square to better facilitate discussion on an important issue. Only two women were present. The other woman had a knee-length skirt, which was modest when she was standing but revealed the tops of her pantyhose and her white lace slip when sitting. She frequently tugged at the skirt, which kept riding up.

(Another gripe: Women who wear low-neckline dresses to evening meetings. While I don't think women need wear burqas to such events, modesty in a business setting is mandatory; if people are looking up your skirt or down your cleavage, they are not listening to what you are saying.)

Women have enough fashion problems to deal with without being ribbed about pantsuits. Our clothing seldom has useable pockets, so we carry purses, which makes handshaking at meet-and-greets another challenge. It's not that we don't trust our colleagues, but we're not comfortable leaving our purses containing wallets on chairs or hiding them behind the draperies. I'd wish Jay and Dave would re-enact a day in Hillary Clinton's former official life, or that of any other active woman clad in skirts, with heavy purses on their shoulders. Add high-heeled shoes and we'd really have the last laugh.


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