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A Glimpse of Harmony

Abstract This article discusses what relationships might be like in a culture where men and women honor and respect each other, where dependency is not such a big component of man/woman relationships, and where traits associated with the feminine are encouraged. Pre-European contact Hawaii is used as an example of such a culture. The article covers child rearing practices in old Hawaii, particularly those that relate to sexuality, and compares these “sex positive” customs with the “sex negative” customs of our own culture. It goes on to consider the amazing variety of relationships that were part of village life in old Hawaii. We discover that the diversity of options for opposite sex and same sex friendships, as well asclose ties between people of different generations, wove a tapestry of support that took the pressure off of spouses and biological parents.