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XIII. Between euphoria and nausea: Young feminist academics navigate the ambivalences of neoliberal science production

Being a feminist to me means something quite mundane and still rather astonishing. It means that it is constantly possible for the world as I know it to appear in a somewhat different light. I know of no other theoretical tradition so able to capture the complexities of the social world and their interrelation with the realm of everyday experience, action, and thought. Furthermore, feminism challenges me to ask just what power relations are at play at a concrete time and place and how they interrelate. However, it might be my hopes, dreams, and aspirations that express my feminist identity most thoroughly. Being and working with others, in particular, allows me to realize parts of my visions of a better future in the present like the safe space envisioned by Andrea Smith (2013): a space that does not escape reality but creates it; a space to practice the very world we want to realize. ‘‘I am overburdened to the point of nausea. I don’t have a life.’’ I noted these sentences almost two years ago when I kept an observation diary about a course called ‘‘Activation, coaching, computer literacy.’’ The Austrian unemployment agency had compelled me to attend the course in order to improve my job-seeking skills during a prolonged period of unemployment after my PhD. Before starting it, I decided to conduct a study on the experience of unemployment together with my friends and colleagues Katharina Hametner and Markus Wrbouschek and to write an observation diary for this purpose. One of the individual ‘‘activation’’ coaches assigned to me augured that I could make an indefinite amount of money in addition to my unemployment benefits as