{'fraction_non_alphanumeric': 0.025285972305839857, 'fraction_numerical': 0.003612281757977122, 'mean_word_length': 4.7791304347826085, 'pattern_counts': {'":': 0, '<': 0, '<?xml version=': 0, '>': 0, 'https://': 0, 'lorem ipsum': 0, 'www.': 0, 'xml': 0}, 'pii_count': 0, 'substrings_counts': 0, 'word_list_counts': {'cursed_substrings.json': 2, 'profanity_word_list.json': 0, 'sexual_word_list.json': 0, 'zh_pornsignals.json': 0}}
Couple Sexuality after 60: Intimate, Pleasurable, and Satisfying

This latest book by Barry and Emily McCarthy, as with all their other offerings, recommends a broad approach to intimate activity. This time the McCarthys’ audience is older adults, whether gay, straight, in good health, or with medical challenges. The McCarthys are eminently suited to take on such a project. First of all, they themselves are seniors having been in a marriage of over 50 years. They have also co-written over 15 self-help books on sexuality over that period of time. Barry McCarthy has over four decades of experience as a sex and couples therapist and is a professor emeritus at American University in Washington, D.C. Emily McCarthy has a B.S degree in speech communication. As the title explicitly states, this is a book for older couples. When many, if not most of us, think about having sex, the script is likely to be the script from our younger years – and for heterosexuals the script is most often penis-in-vagina intercourse. Whatever leads up to that act is typically referred to as “foreplay,” its major purpose being to arouse both partners. There usually comes a time, however, when erections become more difficult or less frequent and women no longer produce vaginal lubrication sufficient for comfort in sexual activity. This happens with aging, but can also happen because of illness, disability, or medication side-effects. For some couples, such changes lead to a decrease or cessation of sexual activity. The McCarthys have written this book to help individuals and couples over the age of 60 navigate their new reality. Changes in sexual response are likely to continue throughout the aging process. During his career as a sex therapist, Barry McCarthy has been steadfast in his message that performance expectations are best avoided, and the focus should be on enhancing desire, pleasure, eroticism, and satisfaction. Intercourse and orgasm may happen, but should not be expected. In fact, the McCarthys helpfully point out that many encounters are likely to be asynchronous rather than synchronous, with one partner experiencing greater pleasure than the other. These differences are fine as long as neither partner is taking advantage of the other and each partner has the home. Throughout this section, I was continually impressed with Marcus’ ability to break down highly complex concepts in a way that makes them digestible for the reader, without sacrificing any of their nuance. No problem is merely defined or explored in the abstract – action-oriented solutions are offered with clear steps to put proposed solutions into practice. Admittedly, I was a bit confused by the point system. I appreciate the spirit of such a system – sexual problems don’t have one source, and there are many ways to “earn points” to make things better. What felt unclear to me is how point values were determined. The suggestion that hormonal interventions are a way to gain up to 80 points, while strategies to mix some limerence into a long-term relationship might earn 40 points, felt somewhat arbitrary and suggests that the field has answers that we really don’t about how much weight these different factors actually have. Nonetheless, I enjoyed this book very much, and will recommend it to colleagues and clients alike.