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Grief is a Circular Staircase

Abstract This paper considers the dominant 20th century view of grief as something to be worked through, the emergence of the “continuing bonds” model of grief as a challenge to this hegemony and then explores how helpful this model is in the pastoral support of those who are bereaved. The opportunities and limitations of continuing bonds are discussed, particularly in regard to other contemporary models of grief and the practical task of relating theory to practice in pastoral care. The danger of clinical lore is appraised and a practical approach that values context, open listening and alternative liturgy is considered as more helpful than following any single model of grief, which can inevitably reduce a complex and often bewildering phenomenon to a constraining ideology that may even result in the imposition of harm rather than relief.