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Being tough, being healthy: local forms of counselling in response to adult death in northwest Tanzania

While antiretroviral medicines have reduced AIDS-related deaths in sub-Saharan Africa, many people still lose multiple family members and struggle with the social and economic consequences of those deaths. This paper examines how older Tanzanians frame feelings of loss caused by the untimely death of young adults and how they advise other bereaved about how to manage loss. A local concept oyegumisilize – meaning ‘to move on and push grief and worries aside’ – is employed in offering bereaved persons advice about how to deal with feelings of loss. Older people try hard to manage memories of loss whilst simultaneously struggling to fulfil the social obligations around mourning that contribute to their ongoing bereavement. Oyegumisilize can be seen as a counselling practice that helps those who have lost loved ones to move on with life and feel normal. It is argued that this form of counselling is a form of therapeutic speech, where the emphasis is not on ‘talking through’ emotions, but on speech that is aimed at ‘toughening up’ the bereaved person. The findings presented here are based upon ethnographic research undertaken in Muleba District in Kagera Region, Tanzania, between 2003 and 2004, and follow-up research conducted in 2005, 2008 and 2012.