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Concerning the Ethics of the Computer Mouse

Recent events in Japan have lead to authorities banning all animal movements after several sofa beds were found nibbled in Tokyo. It is thought this may be an outbreak of the dreaded Futon Mouse disease. In this essay, the authors take the alternative view that these events can instead be explained as backlash against down-trodden rights of the computer mouse. An epistemological schema is developed that explores the ethical schism between the noumina and phenomena of the two-button, scroll-wheel computer mouse.