

January 10, 2001

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Eddie Stair for sending in today’s report. From Campbell County, Tennessee comes the story of bozo Bryan Vance who broke into The Big Orange Tavern. Passersby noticed the broken window and called the cops. By the time the officers arrived our bozo was long gone, but he left behind plenty of evidence. There was blood smeared around the tavern from a cut he received when he broke the window. There were also several snack food wrappers and empty beer cans scattered around. But it was what was left outside that sealed our bozo’s fate. The police noticed a trail of beer cans, full ones, leading from the tavern directly to our bozo’s home. It seems that when he decided to head back to his house, our bozo filled a large plastic trash bag with beer and dragged it behind him, never noticing that there was a hole in the bag.

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