Monday, August 13, 2012

Monday's Meatloaf - "We all need someone we can lean on"

"Coach Richt, thanks for coming over."
"Well sure. Why are all the cars in your  driv...Wait 
"Don't freak out coach."
"Freak out? You said we were going to watch the closing 
"I know. This is actually an intervention. We're ...well, 
"An intervention? Coach T,  you're behind this 
aren't you?"
"Coach, we just ALL think the goatee was a 
good idea."
"You're bringing me here, under the pretense of an 
Olympic hors d'oeuvres party to try and convince 
me to shave less?"
"It stood for something new Coach, something 
different..gave many fans a reason to believe."
"Well it gave Kathryn a rash."
"We understand. It's something that's yours,
not really our business...but we embraced it,
nurtured it, cared deeply about. And you.."
"Wait a min..."
"NO! YOU wait a left it dismantled,
broken and alone in your sink. Like it or not, it
was a part of DawgNation. We NEED it back."
"You can HAVE it Bernie. It's actually still
in the trashcan I think."
"'re not hearing me coach. With ALL
due respect, we NEED it back on your face."
"I don't believe this (crap)."
"There! That's it! It would just drive the point
home if you had that epic goatee to go along
with the general badassery."
"Son, I can give ya all ya can take. It's not
like I forgot how to be a badass."
"Yeh, it's just that with it, certain things are
implied. No need to state them..
Your goatee would not have punted to the 
Honey Blazer. Or if it did, the kid woulda fumbled
just trying to run past it. It also would not have 
kicked the FG in Memphis, and if it told me I had
never been in the arena my only response 
would be 'Yessir.'
"I see. You all got it bad for Evil Richt."

Fistbumps for the room. Gets to Mrs. Bernie who simply holds out an empty hand. Richt reaches deep into his chinos and retrieves the guilty Gillette. It's a bit rusty, splattered with blood and has bits of gray beard in between the blades. He hands it to her, looks her in the eye...
"Don't worry darlin'. I won't paint it black anymore either."
As the Ford F-150 motors away, we all swear we can hear The Stones blaring through the streets of Dawgville USA. "Get it on rider. You can bleed all over me."
via Dawgden, via ABH
Today's Ingredients
Your 2013 national champions, the Georgia Bulldogs. Has a nice ring to it.
- Over at DawgSportsRedcrake takes us on a musical journey through the heart of the 2012 schedule and Dawg2011 lays out a bracket of hate for us to vote on.
- ecdawg found a Mizzou blog that broke down the SEC opener for us. Rather favorably I might add.
- Yesterday I introduced some Erk Russell oldschool math by subtraction. Meanwhile Richt was adding to his scholarship numbers.
- Stands to reason doesn't it, that if Bobo wants this kind of number from Murray that he also has confidence in the line protecting him and the playmakers behind and around him. Does it not?
- Can't help but notice that Gurley's stock has soared in the poll over there since that scrimmage last week. Ching has a nice feature on the kid.
"I don't know if it would be me or not...Kiante Tripp used to switch positions on both sides of the line a lot." Samuel on being a Tripp
- Nice post by Blutarsky on what is looking like will be JHC's first role in Grantham's defense.
- I don't know if it is as big as #34 like CCRider advertises, but he does give us a history lesson on Sports and Grits while introducing GATANews.
- UGA's freshman class passed their first test yesterday.
- I don't know who the Higgs Boson fella is Tyler references, nor do I care anything about his particles. But I agree that the Bragg piece on the SEC in ESPN: the Mag is an excellent read. 

Those yankees...bless their hearts. Yes, we all need something we can lean on. We prefer whiskey, front porches and college football. They have cheeseheads, snow tires and weathermen in parkas.

Which reminds me, best of luck to friend of the blog Fletcher Page who is relocating. He has taken an assignment in a place called Illinois. Darren the Intern tells me this is within the contiguous US but outside of the sweetened tea boundary. We wish him well and look forward to reports of how the Fightin' Zooks Illini's chances are looking for Pasadena, or the Little Caesars Bowl in beautiful Detroit.

In fact I gave Fletcher a barometer for his birthday a couple weeks ago. He's always been the first to provide "Richt's Eye on the Sky" report of the weather. Not sure if that thing predicts snowfall or not. Perhaps he too should wear a goatee to protect against the elements.

Rest of y'all, here's your fork and a napkin. Keep the lunch out of the beards #TeamGoatee and have a great Monday!



Bernie said...

Is that Sports & Grits tongue-in-cheek, or do those guys really think they're that important?

Bernie said...

My guess is a little of both, but you'd have to ask them.