Making Change: Forgiving

Making Change for Happy Relationships

Ever been so frustrated with your spouse you could scream? Would never get divorced – but would consider murder!

Do you have a friend you love to bits that drives you crazy? Don’t try to hide it, we all feel like this sometimes in our relationships.

Even people who are easy to love can have aspects of their character that just rub you up the wrong way. Truth be known, I’m pretty sure I have this effect on my husband at times. Actually, I know I have. Sometimes I know the answer to a question but ask him anyway, that gets right up his nose! One thing that drives me nuts is him dropping the cardboard roll from the toilet paper on the floor when there is a bin right there! Can anyone relate? Aaaaarghh! We laugh about it, and I resorted to placing the open bin directly under the toilet roll holder with the lid open, so there’s no excuses now.

There are many such things within relationships: some funny but some are downright hurtful, and overtime can cause deep resentment. It’s amazing how a little irritation can become a deal breaker if left unchecked. It doesn’t take long for a little misunderstanding or a small offense here and there, compounded with a forgotten occasion or a harsh word, to snowball into an attitude that questions the soundness of the relationship.

Once things get to this stage there’s lots of work to do to repair the damage. What if you could prevent the damage in the first place? It just takes some awareness and a little bit of discipline to decide that you will never leave an issue unforgiven.

Forgive often, choose to forgive even when it’s hard to do. Forgiveness softens your heart, releases you both and allows communication to flow again.

Just remember these 3 simple guidelines:

  1. Choose to forgive quickly, don’t wait until you feel like it.
  2. Choose to forgive often. You may have to forgive the same person for the same thing many times. That’s ok.
  3. Walk in the freedom of having forgiven, let it go and move forward.

by Andrea Uebergang