Ok, so the Woman is getting really excited about this walk she's going on, but dang, doods, I didn't know she was going to drag a bunch of crap along with her. Seriously, she got this giant bag on wheels and is taking it with her! I hate to tell her, but that's some serious baggage to be dragging along for 60 miles, and I don't think any of her friends that are walking are going to want to help her with that.

And she's obsessing over the stupidest things. Like an extreme addiction to diet soft drinks. I'm pretty sure that she'll pass a convenience store or two while she walks. I mean, she does when she's practice walking. And I looked online, San Francisco has a lot of stores. One of them is gonna have a diet soda.

She's worried about her meds wearing off and having to pee a lot. Well, duh, stop and pee. I looked up places for that, and San Francisco has like a giant litter box, so I'm pretty sure she can use that.

Oh yeah, dooods, she pees a lot. Like, so much you wouldn't wanna share a litter box with her because in one afternoon it would be too unpleasant to step in.

She hasn't asked me what she can do about it, though. Maybe she knows she won't like my answer.

Like, what does a person do when they pee their fricking brains out every day?


Ahhhahahahahahahahaa yeah, I slay me.


Ok, Dooods, the calendar is winding down on the walk some of our people are doing in order to support one of my favorite things.


They're all organized into a team and chit, and are going to camp near the water in SF, which I find kinda bizarre, but whatever floats their bloats. I'd go find someplace warm to sleep and poop, but that's just me. The important thing is


If you haven't had a chance to, and you wanna help their effort, they're all still fund raising, so take a peek at their team page, go "eenie meenie mighty Max" and pick one to whom you wanna toss a buck or two. I'll make it easy. Click on their team logo, that'll take you to their team page.

Oh! And if you want a shot at some cool prizes, Skeezix's Food Lady is doing a Prize Thingy! Seriously, she's got some really cool chit, so at least go look at her blog.

And guys...you doods really rock. There's been some serious coinage raised so far...all to



Whoa. I am remiss in my relaying of important news. My apologies.


The Woman didn't have a clue about it, but the Man did surgery on it (I think he learned how while he passes gas) and after he stabbed the heart of it with a knife, it started working again. So the crisis passed, and I am now able to drink when I want to.

I think the Woman is relived, because she really didn't want to go buy a new one. And you know she would have.

:::crack o'da whip:::


Arr, mateys... T' worst thin' that can happen t' a guy on Talk Like A Pirate Day...his water fountain breaks. And without a water fountain he can't drink. And what decent pirate doesn't tip back a pint o'whatever??

It's broked, broked, broked....It sits thar and nothin' be comin' out! How can I get anythin' t' drink?

Really, someone has t' pay for this. It should prob'ly be Buddah. Just because. Anyone got a plank I can make him walk?

Yo ho ho and a bottle o'rum, and all that... dammit.


Every freaking night, the Woman opens a can for us and then putters around the kitchen while we eat; when we're done she asks, "Was it good?"


Woman, did you not hear the sounds we were making while we ate? Did you not threaten to hold onto the counter lest you get sucked into the vortex? Do you not know what "Mmmm snarf snarf snarf" means?

Really, it sucked.

=sigh= People...


Hahahaha I was just at Jasper's blog and he talks about a spelling bee with words that sound dirty, and this was my captcha:


It made me laugh.


My lap time has been woefully lacking lately; the Woman usually has her computer on her lap and doesn't leave any Max room (and yeah, once in a while I try to get on it anyway, but it's just not comfy) so while she was asleep last night I body slammed her a few times, stepped on her nipples, and did other things to make her wake up and give ne head skritches. And doods, it totally worked! She woke up and paid attention to me! Well, yeah, some of that attention was wrapped in words that are on lotsa kitty's bad words list and she rolled over and went back to sleep, but when she was in that in-between place of being asleep and pissed off, she totally petted me and rubbed my chin and head.


Yo! By declaration from The Most Awesome Derby, who wisely understood that some dork's "No Cats day" was stupidity personified, today is MO' CATS DAY!

I like this image best, though. Heh.


Labor day?


I've been watching the Woman off and on all morning, and she's barely moved from where she's sitting.

There's no labor going on here.

I thought there would be labor. Like cleaning and the cooking of real live fresh dead things.

I feel cheated.


After YEARS of trying my best to get some,