From Joanne, Child's Age 11 - 10/30/13 - IP#:  Click here to reply  
So I got my son new clothes and he stopped complaining about the tightness, however, this morning I was able to go in a bit later to work so took the opportunity for a lie in. After he had been picked up for school I noticed there was a funny smell coming from his room and found a draw filled to overflowing with empty fast food containers and another with chip bags, candy bar wrappers, donut bags and more! I don't know how long they have been in there or why he has so many. His size is really starting to worry me. Advice would be great.
Reply from Ryan - 11/23/15  - IP#:
How is your son now any bigger and is the video a problem any more and is it even online still
Reply from Mario, Child's Age 13 - 12/03/13  - IP#:
Joanne, so what happened when you took your son to the doctor?
Reply from Mario, Child's Age 13 - 11/20/13  - IP#:
How did you son do at the physical?
Reply from Joanne, Child's Age 11 - 11/18/13  - IP#:
Well I've coerced him into going with the promise of rewards afterwards. I will fill you in after as to how it went. I'm not expecting this will be pleasant.
Reply from Mario, Child's Age 13 - 11/18/13  - IP#:
So basically your son does what he wants to do. Joanne, I'm not bring critical, but if your son takes men's size 56 pants at age 11, he has a weight problem, whether he's 200 lbs or not. It sounds like he's sneaking food. I don't mean to frighten you, but kids these days can get Type 2 diabetes and other health issues related to overweight. That's why your son needs a physical exam. I know you want what's best for your son (if you didn't we wouldn't be exchanging our views here!). I see your point about taking something away from him if he doesn't see the doctor. How about promising him a reward if he DOES see the doctor? If he asks why, it's because we all need to have our health checked periodically, you, me, your son, my son, my wife, etc. Best wishes, ---Mario
He knows how I operate though. If something is going to happen because of something he does it needs to be relevant to what happened. Taking his allowance away randomly because he won't do something or refusing to buy him clothes over a doctors visit doesn't really make sense to me, and I'm sure it won't make sense to him either (which will be an even bigger fight).
He doesn't want you to go because he doesn't want you to see what the results of the physical will be. If he continues to "put his foot down" and won't go, tell him that if he doesn't go, he won't get any more allowance or any new clothes, period---then stick to it. You're the mom, Joanne.
So I told my son that he had a physical exam tomorrow after school and I would be taking some time off work to pick him up and he seemed really upset. He asked if he could just go on his own, or if his friend's mom could take him. When I said no he told me that he just wasn't going to go. I'm not sure how I'm going to get him to the doctors if he is digging in his heels like this. Is this a normal reaction to going to the doctor?
Reply from Joanne, Child's Age 11 - 11/15/13  - IP#:
I will book him in with the doctor but there's no way he's over 200lbs. There must be some mistake. I did ask him how much of his allowance he had left over at the end of each week and he said he only had a few cents left but he didnt want to say what he was spending it on so I didn't press him.
Reply from Mario, Child's Age 13 - 11/14/13  - IP#:
Given that you say your son is 11, stands 4'7" tall, and takes men's size 56 pants, I think he's over 200 pounds. I would suggest that you make an appointment with your pediatritian for your son to have a physical exam, just an overall check up. Weighing your son will be part of it. If your son asks why he has to have a physical exam, tell him it's good practice to have check-ups periodically (true).
Reply from Joanne, Child's Age 11 - 11/13/13  - IP#:
My son currently wears 56 waist pants which I hem to fit his leg length (which is much shorter than the 32 that they come in) and 5XL tees (hemmed again) though they are starting to look quite tight around his chest and midsection. My son's weight is very much in the front (chest and belly) and though his bottom used to be quite large its sort of lost its shape a bit over the last year and doesnt stick out as much that I can see, its not as though I'm looking all that carefully. It seems to protrude less, especially in comparison to his admittedly quite ample belly.
It's slightly concerning to me that your boy's clothes at his biggest were so much smaller than my sons as I'm pretty confident he is not 200lbs or even close. Maybe your son wore his pants in a different spot to my son or the retailer you got them from was more generous in the sizing
Reply from Mario, Child's Age 13 - 11/13/13  - IP#:
Back when my son Joe was 11 I remember he wore men's size 48 or 50 shorts and XXL or XXXL tee shirts. These were adult sizes that my wife bought at the "Big and Tall" store. My wife had to hem up the bottom of the tees or else they looked like Joe was wearing a dress. Shorts or pants were hard to buy because each maker cuts their sizes differently. We had to take whatever shorts or pants seemed to fit him to a tailor to be altered, because no "off the rack:" size really fit him, since he was so short compared to all the weight he carried, plus he had a big bulging belly and very wide hips and legs and a very big protruding backside. Now that's he's taller, he takes XXL men's tees and men's size 48 shorts. They waist has to be taken in a little but he needs that size because he's still bottom heavy in the hips, legs, and backside. Hope this helps, Joanne. What size did you just buy for your son?
So your son was about the same height my son is now (4'7"). What size clothes was your son wearing when he was 11? Now that he's thinned out what size is he?
I don't know how much he weighs but I'm sure he can't be even close to 200lbs. That would be enormous.
I didn't confront my son about what I'd found, but I have been sneaking back into his room to check and the pile of wrappers is definitely growing. It looks like he threw most of it out with the trash when he did his chores, but there is still quite a bit of new stuff in the draw that shows its still going on. So I guess he is spending his allowance on it.
I honestly just don't know how to approach him on this without hurting his feelings. He's very sensitive about a lot of things, so I've never mentioned weight or diets or anything like that before.
Reply from Mario, Child's Age 13 - 11/12/13  - IP#:
Hello Joanne,
My son Joe is 13 and is 5'3" and 200. When he was 7 he was average height and weight, but from then to age 11 he grew 6" in height but packed on 125 pounds (that was when I was deployed in Irag). When I retired from the military and we were a family again, we all started eating healthier and became more active, so in the last 2 years Joe added 8" in height but only gained 10 pounds. He's still a big boy and it's hard to find clothes that fit him, but we figure as long as he is active and getting taller the height and weight will balance out when he gets to be 18 or so. I don't know how much his friends weigh but I know Joe jokes with one of them that the other kid now weighs more than Joe (that's the boy in the youtube video). When we went to the beach this summer and took Joe and his friends, all but one of the 5 boys are fat, and 1 is just chubby. Hope this helps.
Reply from Joanne, Child's Age 11 - 11/09/13  - IP#:
Mario, how big is your son and his friends? And how big were they at their heaviest?
Reply from Joanne, Child's Age 11 - 11/06/13  - IP#:
I know he doesn't have many friends at school. A few people he sometimes hangs out with but only one person he counts as a friend and he is large but not that big and my son has never mentioned him getting bigger or wanting to get bigger. I can't reduce his allowance over nothing. He would be devastated.
Reply from Mario, Child's Age 13 - 11/06/13  - IP#:
Hello Joanne, First of all I want to apologize if it sounds like I'm criticizing you. I don't mean to. However, it seems like you have no control over how much your son eats. Earlier you said he cooks for himself and now you mention that you found food wrappers in his room. It sounds like he has a lot of money to spend on junk food and snacks and no restrictions on how much he buys or cooks for himself. When my son was 11, it took a lot of work to get him to talk about something he felt was really personal, so I think you're going to have a hard time asking your son how much he eats in a day and why he eats so much. My son has some friends who, beliueve it or not, are intrigued with getting fat and one friend even posts videos on youtube showing how fat he's getting (at age 13!). I was driving my son and these friends home from school one day and they were talking as if I wasn't there but I was really listening when they talked about "John's" youtube video. Afterwards I asked my son and he told me. It sounds to me like these kids want to be famous and this is an easy way to do it, since none of them are talented enough to be a sports star (even though they all play Little League baseball). Could your son have friends like this?