02x05 - Corporate Cowgirls

Amy: Previously on "Heartland":

Tim: You know, the old ranch hands never had it this good.

You will never ask me to take a group of city slickers on a trail ride.

Ashley: He's totally drool worthy.

But you're not his type.

But I definitely am.

You got no idea what Amy can do.

Well, I fully intend to find out.

Count on it.

(Fighting grunts)

There's only one thing that I ever wanted to say to you and I wasn't sure you still wanted to hear it.


Maybe we should take a break.

Maybe we should get married.

(Eagle cries)

(Horses grunt and nicker)

Oh my God!



(Awkward laugh)

Sorry! I know I'm trespassing.



I didn't think anybody would be around.

It's, uh, it's so early.

Hey, why don't you be a gentleman and turn your back on me and ride away?


No problem.

You might wanna check for blood suckers, though.

Plenty of them in the pond.



But I have guests arriving.

This morning.

Yeah, you're one of the reasons they're coming!

Of course it's a big opportunity.

I underst...


I understand. Bye.

Nadine Lipchuk just cancelled on us for Oprah.

Can you believe that?

It's a disaster!

It'll all be fine.

No it won't, grandpa.

I've only ever read about trust and self-esteem exercises.

I've never actually done them.

There's a reason I hired Nadine Lipchuk, the famous equine facilitator with a bestseller.

Personally, I think her book's a bunch of crap.

How can you say that?

She's the preeminent voice in E.G.E.


Equine guided education.

Jack: Now, how can anyone claim that leading a horse around a pen makes you "one" with your "authentic self."

Exactly. Crap.

Jack: So, when are these guests of yours arriving?

(Car whirs by)

Lauren: This is such a cool little country store.

Nicole: (Chuckling) Can you imagine Lou shoveling poo?

In her spike heels and Prada suit?

I'd pay money to see that!

Oh, we did! We are!

I can't believe just as she's fast-tracking up the corporate ladder, that's when she disappears to run a dude ranch, in the middle of nowhere.

Mm. Whatever Lou does you can be sure it's to the max.

Mm. We roomed together doing our MBA's and she is total "Type A".

I will not fail with this, Amy.

You're right.

Who needs Nadine Lipchuk?

You can do these exercises.

I know you can. You'll be great at it.

Amy: Okay, why did you convince your New York work buddies to come anyway?

Lou: Because they paid full price even when I offered them a discount.

And they know anybody who's anybody in New York.

They'll spread the word about this place faster than any website.

Plus, they eat up stuff like Nadine's book.

They love anything to do with self help!

"A horse is a mirror of your inner strengths and weaknesses".

Nicole: "Discover what attractor energies you may possess."

I'll get them in a saddle, but I'm not going into all this inner productivity garbage.

Leave the garbage to me.

(Front door shuts)

Lou: Did you travel the horses to the paddock?

Ty: They have all been delivered.

Amy: Must've been a good ride.

The morning was pretty nice.

Yeah, it was.

It was a good view.

Really good view.

(Tires crunch over gravel)

Women: (Overlapping chatter)

Oh, my God.

Hey there. How're you ladies doin' today?


I think your guests have arrived.

What have I done?

♪ And at the break of day ♪
♪ you sank into... ♪
♪ your dream ♪
♪ you dreamer ♪
♪ oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ you dreamer ♪
♪ you dreamer ♪


Lauren: Lou!

Lou: You made it!

Lauren: Lou!

Lou: Welcome.

Oh, you look amazing!

Lou: Oh, you!

Lauren: Have you lost weight?

Your hair looks amazing.

I brought gifts! New York in a bag.

You didn't!

The bagels from Zabars?


The Village Voice!

Oh, uh, I'm so sorry.

Lou, this is Mackenzie Hutton.

She joined "Strickland and Cooke" right... after you left.

I've heard so much about you.

It's nice to meet you too!

Listen, ladies. I have some bad news.

Nadine Lipchuk, she bailed on us for Oprah!

Lauren: No worries.

We came to see you.

Mackenzie: Oh wait! Wait! Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!

Um, sorry, but this really dirty.

Could we put my stuff in the front seat?

Well, not if someone's gonna drive.

(Blanket thumps, Mackenzie coughs)

Tell you what though...

You're welcome to ride in the back, if you want?

Um... no. No thanks.

Hey, everybody.

Good to see ya.

Good to see you.

Who's the Marlboro man hottie?

Uh... that's my dad.

And who's he?

Lou: Oh, that's my grandpa.

Nicole: Hm...

There's something to be said about your gene pool.

Both: (Giggle)


We're ready to head out if you guys are.


Lauren: The men here...

No wonder you never came back to New York.

Lou: (Half laughs)

Oh my God, Lou.

It's so beautiful here.

It's gorgeous. So early Ralph Lauren.

Lauren: You know, I am so proud of you.

Who would've thought you'd turn out to be such an entrepreneur.

Lou, I need a washroom.

It's just right over there.

Mackenzie: Oh...


(Awkward breath)

Mallory: You promised me you'd give me another jumping lesson.

Copper's already all saddled up.

I can't, Mallory. I promised Lou I'd help her with something.

You know, I could blackmail you into keeping your promise.

Excuse me?

I heard a rumour.

What kind of a rumour?

That someone kissed someone at the cattle drive.

Jake saw you and Ty.

Just for the record, are you guys together?

Just for the record, we're not.



Because he hasn't mentioned the kiss yet and you wish he would've?

I've got to figure out what to do with these women.

Then I'll just take Copper and practice with him all by myself.

Okay. Sure.

Just lunge him over the round poles like I showed you.

He doesn't get the poles. He trips over them.

Well, he'll get it eventually.

Can I take Spartan?


Ok, I'll give you a lesson tomorrow, after the divas leave for their trail ride.


(Horse nickers)

(Approaching whir of vehicle)

Amy: Hey.


Is, uh, Caleb around?

Uh, he actually just took some guests out to the cabins.

Oh, right.
Hillbilly Haven.

He should be back any minute.

I'll just wait here.

Okay. Whatever.

(Phone buttons beep)

Women: (Laugh)

Hey, guys.

We're ready.

There are days when I love my job.

♪ we stop the boys right dead in their tracks ♪

Yeah, there are days.

♪ everybody better make some room ♪
♪ for girls with attitude ♪

Lou: Put your eyes back in your heads.


(Poles clunk)

Mallory: Copper!

(Horse nickers)

The pole is right in front of your face.

The trick is to step over it.

(Low hum of chatter)

Lauren: Girls, we are ready to ride!

Nicole: (With a laugh)
Bring on the horses!

Mackenzie: Do we get to share a horse? Huh?

Lou: Uh, no. We each get our own.

Nicole: Well, it shouldn't be too hard.

Lauren: Yee-haw!

Ashley: ...we'll have a good time.

Caleb: Yeah.

Lou: Just down here to the horses, guys.

Have a good day.

I will.

(Ignition turns)

This is gonna be the most amazing three days of your lives.

You are gonna change and grow in ways that...

Well, in ways that you never imagined.

Working with the horses is gonna teach you about yourselves and each other.

And give you tools - invaluable tools - to help you with your careers...


Amy: (Whispers) Corporately?

So... let's get started.

What a load of crap.

Nicole: No way.

Forget it, Lou.

We didn't pay you to shovel poop.

It's not just shovelling poop. Okay?

It's about team skills.

You need to work together to get the clean-up done, as quickly as possible.

I'm timing you.

(Stopwatch beeps)

You shovel.

You work the wheelbarrow.

I'll dump it.

♪ never again baby, I've been burned... ♪

ew! It got on my Jimmy choos.

Lauren: Hurry up! It's a test.

Good. Good.

Just shovel.

(Inhales deeply and holds breath)

Choosing your horse calls upon long buried instincts you never knew you had.

Instincts that will allow you to match your inner self with your equine soulmate.

Can we just pick a damn horse?

(Stifled chuckle)

Lauren: That one's mine; He's gorgeous.

Nicole: I think he's mine.

I want that one.

It looks nice and calm and safe.

(Horses nicker)

Nicole: Aw! They're friends.

Mackenzie: Oh-ho, that's so cute.

Yeah, well, Betty's as blind as a bat; That's why she's sticking so close to Slick.

Oh, really? You're pretty funny.

Okay, come on, Slick. Come 'ere.

(Slick grunts)

Just stay still.

What's wrong with him?!

Go easy. You're the boss.

Lauren: (Laughs)

Don't laugh, okay? This is hard.

Just let me...

Well done.

All right, Lauren!
(Everyone cheers and applauds)

Mackenzie: Come here, Betty.

Come on.

Nicole: He's not gonna come to you like your Lhasa Apso.

What the hell's a Lhasa Apso?

Ty and Amy: (Chuckle)

I did it.

Lou: Good job.

♪ ...Until you ask me for my hand ♪
♪ I'll always be your woman sure as you will be my man ♪

good boy.

♪ ...way back when never again ♪
♪ never, never again ohhh! ♪
♪ blew in way back when never again ♪
♪ ohhh! Blew in way back when ♪
♪ never again! ♪

Does Mackenzie know that Betty's blind?

Caleb told her.

And she's fine with that?


Lou: Oh. She seems like such a... perfectionist.

(Half laughs)

Maybe she's already becoming more...


Nicole: This is great, Lou.

Lou: You sure you've never ridden before?

Women: (lmpressed chatter)

They're all really getting into it, don't you think?


Lou: (Half laughs) Mackenzie?

Mackenzie: Uh-huh? Lou: Breathe.

(Cell phone beep)

Nicole: No. I'm working out of the office.

Mackenzie: This a corporate retreat, there should be- well, you're coming in and out.

Lauren: Hey, John...

Nicole: No. That's two points away from where we need to be...

(Phone bleeps no service)

Mackenzie: ...Finalized by tomorrow.

You're coming in and out.

Lauren: Hey John, it's me.

I've left you a million messages...


Mackenzie: Can you hear me now?


You're an assistant, honey.

(Phone snaps shut)

Women: (Laughing)

Remember Marlene from accounts?

She's dating Mr. Strickland.

No way! He's married!

Thank you. Not anymore.

And guess who got fired?


Reg Malinski.

Oh, but he could do no wrong!

That's crazy!

Insider trading. Huge scandal.

Roz Higley got his job.

Nicole: Oh, and the private washroom.

And the corner office.

Yeah, well, Roz isn't the only one on her way up.

Lauren just got a promotion.

Really? You didn't tell me.

Well, I... I just...

You didn't you know? Yeah, she got your old job.

To Lauren!


(Classes clink)

I never expected to be pulling in a six figure income before I was thirty.

That is great.


Thank you.

I'm gonna get some coffee.

Mackenzie, you sure you don't want some wine?

Oh, no thank you. Unless you have organic?

Uh, not that I know of.

Now you didn't eat much.

You can't be on a diet in this house.

Oh, I'm not on a diet. I'm allergic.

Allergic to what?


Dairy, white sugar, seafood, gluten.

Everything I eat has to be organic.

Yeah, that must be tough.

Oh... You can't imagine.

It's not so bad. I just eat a lot of vitamins.

I couldn't swallow all those; I'd gag.

Well, you gals have to eat something.

You need your strength for the trail ride.

Uh, coffee. Anyone?

No, not for me. No caffeine.


I have my own herbal teas.

I'll just go boil some water.

Nicole: It aids her digestion.

Not that she has anything to digest.

Coffee here, please.

Yes. Definitely.

Lou: There you go. Nicole: Thanks Lou.

Lou: No problem.

(Door creaks open)

Well, I think as first days go, that went pretty well for you.

(Under her breath)

Something wrong?

What the hell am I doing, grandpa?

I should be in New York.

What if I've made the worst mistake of my entire life?

So, it's gonna be great to watch them ride off tomorrow.


Guess we'll have this whole place to ourselves.

Yeah, I guess.

Hey, maybe I could uh...

Maybe I could... Make us some dinner?

Yeah! Yeah, that'd be cool.

Hey, Ty, can I ask you something?


You know, on the cattle drive, did you mean it...

The kiss?

Of course I meant it. I kissed you, didn't I?


(Shy chuckle)

But just for the record, you kissed me first.

No, that's not-

I kissed you back.

That's not how it happened.

That's exactly how it happened.

Caleb: Hey!

How're we doing tonight?

I'm, uh, not interrupting anything am I?

You going on the ride tomorrow?

Uhm... no.

Good. All Tim needs is another novice.

(Sighs heavily)

See you in the morning.


This looks amazing, Lou!

Forget the diet. I'm having bacon.

I'm having everything.

Since when do you cook?

You could burn water when we roomed together.

Lou: Very funny.



W-what's wrong with you?

I've got muscles hurting I never knew I had.

Nicole: I know. I got out of bed and almost fell.

Hey, is the water drinkable?

Yeah, it's from the well.

Oh my God, I'll boil it.

Don't get me started on giardia infection.

You would know, where's the nearest gluten-free bakery?


Jack: Yeah. It's been in the family for six generations.

All those cabins you girls are staying in, my granddad built those for the ranch hands.

My earliest memory's helping him.

There's a...

A rumour floatin' around that I was born, out there, on a table.


Lauren: I heard you were quite the rodeo champion.

Oh, might've won a few things, I guess.

He was a legend.

Boy, that's when you know you're old.

When someone calls you a legend.

All: (Chuckle)

Well, I should get a move on.

Sun doesn't wait for a workin' man.

What? You're leaving?

I thought you were coming on the overnight.

Oh, you have to.

Jack: Ah, no...

No, I... I don't do trail rides.

Or overnights.

It's his arthritis, you know.

(Cell phone rings)

Hey. Caleb, you better get over here.

We're getting ready to go.

No, you cannot bail on me.



He's sick.


Grandpa, please, just this one time.

Amy's not around.

Remember our terms? We agreed--

You would never ask me to take a bunch of city slickers on a trail ride?

I know.

But just this once, grandpa. They love you.

You're authentic, your the real thing.

You are this ranch!

You are this countryside.



Soraya: So... just you and Ty left at home?


I think he's gonna make me dinner.

Ooh! Maybe you'll have "the talk."

That's what I'm afraid of.


I don't know...

(Amy's cell phone rings)

Hey, Lou.


Okay, I'll be there.

All right. Bye.

Well, I may have to go on the trail ride.

Caleb's sick.

No, he isn't.

I dropped off an order at Briar Ridge this morning and he was pulling in just as I was leaving.

Caleb: I think I might make a cowgirl out of you yet.

You think?

Heck, even if I can't, it'll be fun trying.

Well, that's what I'm looking for - a little fun.

But you've got the wrong saddle and the wrong horse.

No worries, though.

I got a friend with a really good pony.


Yeah, I'll give her a call.


Oh look, it's cowboy Ken and cowgirl Barbie.

Ditched us for Ashley. I'm gonna kill him.

She's learning to barrel race? I'll kill her!

What's with the barrel racing? I thought you hated rodeo.

I changed my mind. Rodeo's cool, and I've been told I have a certain talent.

It's bound to help me in the rodeo queen contest.

You're entering?

Ashley: Why not?

A little competition never hurt anyone.


Amy: So you're not doing the trail ride?

You got enough guides.

(Sighs) If I was Lou, I would so fire you.

Come on, Amy!

(Dialcell phone)

Hi, Lou.

Yeah, I'll come. Okay, bye.

So much for alone time with Ty.

Enh, it's probably a good thing.

Tim: So, you ready to see some of the most beautiful country in the entire world?

I'm about to show it to you.

Lauren: Oh my God.

He looks even better now that I'm not jet lagged.

Nicole and Mackenzie: (Stifled giggles)

So... I hear you're a man short?

Yeah, well, Amy's going, which is good, and I'm trying to convince grandpa into coming.

Oh, that'll be a big help.

Dad, this has to be successful, okay?

And I need all the help I can get.

Well, I need cowboys that can get on and off a horse.

Jack: I'm all saddled up and ready. How about you?

(Horse grunts)

Why are you taking Copper? Take Spartan.

Well, Spartan's not really a trail horse, Mallory.

How am I supposed to practice jumping?

Well, I'll help you when I get back.

So, you're going?

Yeah. Yeah, Lou needs me.

I was kinda looking forward to that dinner.

Me too. Another time?



Tim: Okay...

Everybody ready? Let's head on out!

Come on, Jack!

Get a leg over.

All: (Click teeth, goad horses on)

Happy trails.

Hey, Ty, can you help me?

With what?

I need to know where the poles go in the round pen.

Uh... (Sighs)

There's the plan Amy used for Spartan.

But um...

Well, Copper's on the ride, so why don't you just relax?

I gotta go into town, if you wanna come?


All right, suit yourself. I won't be long.

(Latch clunks)

Hey, Spartan.

Yes! This is more like it.

Mallory: (Clicks teeth)


(Spartan nickers, Mallory gasps)

You're awesome!

Totally awesome.

Need to cool off?

How 'bout we go for a trail ride?

'Kay, come on.



Ow! There's mosquitoes!

Lou: Look at them.

I think it's actually working.

You did it.

Hey. Thanks for stepping in.

No problem.

(Horse grunts, birds chirp)

How much further?

Tim: Just over there.

Lauren: Oh, is that all?

(With a laugh)
Oh, come on.

It's worth the trek, I promise you.

I'll hold you to that, cowboy.

Caleb: Kit Bailey.

She's one f the best barrel racers in Hudson.

Kit: Yah! Yah! Yah! Yah!

Val: What's going on here?

I'm entering a barrel racing event.

What're you thinking?

Anyway, I forbid it.

You're not gonna use an expensive jumper for a rodeo stunt.

I'm not!

I'm using that cow pony.

Then you won't be needing Apollo.

Ashley: Mother...


Got him warmed up for ya.

Let me see you go around.

Ashley: Whoa, whoa! Go easy!



All right! Yeah!

Heck, I've been competing for two years and you're gonna be a real threat.

You bet I am.

Both: (Laugh)

Nicole: Look at her.

Doesn't it just make you sick?

Mackenzie: Perfect Lauren. God I ache.

Yeah, it's pretty much a form of torture.

Mackenzie: I'm hungry.

You? Hungry?

This is a different universe.

How is it possible that not only do they not have gluten-free bread, but they don't know what it is?

It's all I can do not to gobble everything up.

I mean, the food's incredible.

At least you can eat it.

Well, maybe if you didn't have such a size zero mentality, you might enjoy it too.

Excuse me?

Did you just call my allergies psychosomatic?

You said it, not me. I mean...

You just gotta look outside yourself.

That's funny, coming from you, Ms. self-centered.


I'm just saying...

Look around. I mean, use your eyes.

Have you ever seen anything like this in your entire life?

Not from daddy's penthouse on Central Park, that's for sure.

Oh, that's nice.

You know what?

Maybe we just need some time out.

Come on, Betty. Let's go.

Go! Go! Betty, let's go.

How're you cowgirls doing?

You know... fine, except my horse is stuck to hers like glue and I would really like some solitary.

Oh, well that's because Betty's blind.

So she likes to stick close to slick, you know.

Wow, Caleb wasn't kidding.

Mackenzie: (Fearful) Oh, God.

Nicole: That is too funny.

(Tense breath)

(Hooves thud softly)

What do you think, Spartan? Do you think we can jump it?

The ground's soft, nothing too sharp.





This can't be happening.




Thank goodness.

Stay there.

Stay there...

That was not cool. Not cool at all.

Better not tell anyone about this. Promise?

I was so worried about you.

What were you thinking, running off like that?

You scared me...

Lauren: I can't believe you.

Lou: What?

Lauren: Well, look at you.

You're the girl who'd rather wear polyester than go camping!

It's just my life now.

Birthing foals, sleeping under the stars...

I love every minute of it.

Lou, is there some way to turn the fire up, or something?

This is taking forever to boil.

There's coffee already made.

I don't drink coffee.

Right. Caffeine.

I need this tea for my digestive system.

Have some bran buds; That oughta do it.

(Stifled giggles)

Mallory: I found him like this, just lying down.

(Horse nickers)

Mallory: What's wrong with him?

I don't know.

Was he okay this afternoon?

This afternoon...?


Ty, I did a terrible thing.


Mallory: I took Spartan for a ride...

And I lost him, but only for a few minutes, really, and... I found him on the side of the road.

What road?

The back road to Big River.

There were trucks out there yesterday, spraying, Mallory.

Didn't you see the signs?


Was he grazing? Did he eat anything?

No, well...

Maybe just a little.

He's got pesticide poisoning. I need you to call Scott, okay?

I'm sorry.


(Pages flick rapidly)

Ty: Here it is, here it is.

Six-year-old Appaloosa poisoned by eating grass sprayed with pesticide. This is it.

Mallory: He keeps trying to lay down.

Don't let him! Okay? We need to keep him walking.

I need to make a mixture of charcoal and water and we gotta get it down his throat.

Did you call Scott?

Mallory: I had to leave a message.

I don't wanna do this just the two of us.

Is Caleb here?

(Fire crackles)

So, you enjoying yourself?

Yeah. I am.

Sort of. I mean...

I must look pretty stupid on that horse.

Did you see me yesterday?

I couldn't even get up on one.

My wife used to be pretty philosophical about looking stupid.

She had to be, married to me.

But she always said that looking stupid was a necessary step to looking smart.

How long were you married?

Long time. Should've been longer.

How about you?

You got a boyfriend back there in New York?

No. No, not me.

I've vowed never to get married.

Now why's that?

Because I love my job.

I don't see why one excludes the other.


My parents are very... successful and they expect the same from me, too.

So, I figured the only way I can do that is by just staying focused and maintaining control.

Control's everything.

Well, I don't know.

Nothing wrong with stepping on the gas every once in a while.

I sure did at your age.

Well, I can't afford that.

I bet you can.

Lauren: So you're single?

A guy like you?

(Awkward chuckle)

It's a little more complicated than that.

What about you?


I've been going out with the same guy for five years.

Sounds serious.

Oh, it is. We are, but...

I wanna get that corner office before I ever get married.

And kids are...

Definitely on hold.

Well, you don't have to worry about marriage or children.

Your boyfriend's a complete commitment phobe.

Lauren: No he's not.

Nicole: Uhuh.

John has a career too. We both have our goals.

Yada yada yada... Let's face it.

We are great at our jobs, but not so great with men.

Hey, who wants a marshmallows?

I mean, I'm really happy with my love life.

That's because your fiance is crazier about you than you are about him and that's fine if you're willing to settle for that.

(Snorted chuckle)

Plus, he found you a nice apartment.

That's a perk.

Lou: There's cake too.

Mackenzie: You know, I'd rather marry my real estate broker than be with the egocentric moron that you've wasted your last five years with.

That's time you'll never get back.

I don't remember you even having a boyfriend.

(Fire crackles, crickets chirp)

Okay, so what is your story, Lou?

You're quite the urban legend at the office.

Did you leave New York for love?

Urban legend?

Yeah. I mean, you're all anybody wanted to talk about when I started.


Yeah, come on, you know, you're like the crazy lady who threw all away for new age ranching.

Crazy lady?

Well, speaking of crazy, if I hear you say one more word about your inability to eat or function like a normal human being,

I am gonna hurl.

And if you think working in an office is hard, you should try my lifestyle for a day.

Ranching makes investment banking look like a joke.

Go Lou!

Oh my God! You're such a pompous, two-faced know-it-all.

If you had any idea how much I loathe working with you...

How much I loathe working with both of you...

(Marshmallow bag rustles)

(Clears throat)

You see?

This is what equine training is all about.

It releases all your inner truths, anxieties and vulnerabilities...

Well, bedtime.

Lauren: Good idea.

(Fire crackles)

That worked out well.

(Glasses clink, Jack and Tim chuckle)

Ty: Keep him moving.

Mallory. Here, help me with this.

Pour it in there.

Hold the funnel. Got it?


Okay, guys, we gotta move ftt or his kidneys are gonna fail.

Lift his head up.

Keep him calm...

Ready? (Spartan nickers)

Ty: (Grunts of effort)

Kit: No. He won't do it.

Ty: Easy.

Easy, boy. Easy.

(Spartan nickers)

Come on.

Ready? Let's try it again.

Easy, easy...

(Spartan nickers)

You got it down!

Kit: Good boy. Good boy.

Pesticide poison.

Caleb: What can I do?

Ty: We got six more to go.

Here, grab this.

(Bottle clunks)

Ty: Got it? Caleb: Let's go.

Ty: All right. Hold his head up again.

All right. Ready, Spartan?

Kit: Good boy. Ty: Good boy. Good boy.

There we go.


Maybe they're right.

God, everything is so much clearer out here.


That's what they say.

Maybe I should break up with my boyfriend.

Well, you've gotta do what you think is right for you.

I know what's right for me.

And when I do, I go for it.



You're a beautiful girl but...

No... (Sighs)

Hello?! Lauren!

That's my dad! What were you thinking?

(Teary inhale)
I'm such an idiot.

I'm a total loser.

Yeah, right, Lauren. You're such a loser.

I am.

You all think I'm so perfect.

I'm not!

My life is far from perfect.

Lauren... stop.

(Teary breath)
I hate my job.

This promotion?

I'm terrified.

They should've given it to Nicole; She's way more qualified, but the boss likes me.

He's always hitting on me.

And Mackenzie doesn't miss a chance to stab me in the back.

And John...

He's cheating on me.


Yeah, he's cheating on me and we're both pretending it's not happening.

It's just all so horrible and...

Come here.

You're so lucky. You've no idea.

(Half laughs)

I'm not so lucky, Lauren.

I'm not having things so great either.

Remember I wrote you about Scott?

The vet?


We broke up.


I thought he adored you?

Yeah, I did too.

So I asked him to marry me.

You did what?

It was stupid.

And he said no.

That um... that...

That we should wait.

That he wasn't sure.


How can he not be sure, Lauren?

He's known me since we were kids.

We grew up together.

He knows me.

He loves me.

Why isn't he sure?

(Teary breaths)

I wrecked it.

Why did I wreck it?

Well, you made the right diagnosis, that's for sure.

Is he okay?

Scott: Probably saved his life.

I'll do a follow-up, but I'd say he's gonna make a full recovery.

You guys were a team.

Caleb: Hey, it's okay.

None of this would've happened if you hadn't bailed on the trail ride.


Thanks for your help.

Yeah, I'm glad I was here.

We seem to meet under the weirdest circumstances.

At least I had my clothes on this time.

(Horses snuffle)

Just take 'em over here.

(Hooves thud gently)

I'm so sorry, Amy. I'll make it up to you.

I'll do all your chores, I'll make your bed...

Mallory, stop.

Look, the good news is that Spartan's fine.

Mallory: The bad news is Ty's talking to that girl like she's known him forever.

You shouldn't have gone on the ride.

None of this would've happened.

Ty: Oh really? Kit: I swear...


(Birds chirp)

(Knock on the door)

Hey, Lou. Come on in.

Lou: Hey, guys...


I need to apologize.

I wasn't exactly ready.

No, Lou. We should apologize.

We were nightmares.

Nicole: You must be so glad to get rid of us.

Mackenzie: I'm so sorry about everything.

Lauren: Lou, the whole experience was amazing.

It's so therapeutic!

I'll never forget it.

We're gonna tell everyone we know about it.

(Stunned breath)

Thank you.

(With a laugh)
Thank God.

Nicole: (Titters happily)

Come here.

All: (Joyful laughter)

(Suv whirs away)

Do you wish you were in that car on your way back to the big apple?


I'm happy to be exactly where I am.

♪ The colours... ♪
♪ of the morning, noon, and evening ♪
♪ you were saying "baby, don't cry ♪
♪ tell me there's a reason why ♪
♪ are you really gone? ♪
♪ oh-oh-oh oh... ♪
♪ you can run around the rain ♪


(Truck rumbles away)

♪ ...what about us ♪.

Lou: Aw, that's a good one.

Those are my girls.

Amy: I don't know how you did it, Lou, but you pulled it off.

Lou: Yeah. Hm. I guess I did.

Amy: (Laughs)

Those girls'll never forget that trip.

Neither will you, grandpa.

Oh, uh, Nicole says to say "hi."

Look at you, just dripping with ladies.

Jack: What can I say? I'm authentic;

I'm the real deal.

I am this countryside. Right, Lou?

Amy: (Laughs)

Oh, wait, I think I'm also a legend.

Right, grandpa.

All: (Chuckle)