Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Out of Mind, Out of Fear

Welcome to the February 2014 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Fears


I see stories often enough, they seem like big news. Young man with Down syndrome accepted to college. Young man with Down syndrome owns and drives his own pickup truck. (See his "Great Story" below.) Young couple with Down syndrome gets married. (A documentary was made about them!) Another couple with Down syndrome, this time in Britain, gets married. But notice I said they all seem like big news. Why?

Because they're not common stories. Yes, the treatment (not just medical) of people with Down syndrome has come a loooong way in the last 50 years. People with Down syndrome are living longer than ever before! They're doing more and are growing into contributing members of society. But these kinds of news stories are still just that, news.

So what does the future hold for Spencer? I was already 38 years old when he was born. How long will I live? His father is younger, but not exactly the picture of health. Will Spencer be independent enough not to need someone else to look after him? Will his sisters feel obligated to take care of him or might they resent him for any special needs he has in his adult life?

He's still my baby.

So how do I deal with this fear? I don't. Ha! Mostly I just don't think about these things. Spencer is two! He is living a pretty typical childhood, with some extra therapeutic help and some delays. There is no telling what the future may hold for him. I'm certainly not going to start fretting about limitations now.

What are your parenting fears?




  1. I think you have a healthy attitude. Its so easy sometimes to get bogged down in the what ifs and could bes of the future. But we just don't know!! We can hardly predict what will happen tomorrow, there is no way to know where we will be 10 years down the line. Our babies change so much everyday, its good to just live it.

  2. That is really interesting. It does seem like those sorts of things will work themselves out as he grows when you need to figure out new resources to meet current needs. For now, enjoying him seems like the best thing to do!

  3. He's such a beautiful baby! Mine is two as well, and I think he'll be my baby forever :) Your fears are justified, but it's best to just savour each moment and do the best you can for him.

  4. I imagine that as Spencer gets older, you'll figure out how to find a way to prepare for the unknown future while still enjoying the present. There is plenty of time to enjoy these years, and figure out certain details later. And really, that's not so different from parents of kids who don't have special needs. No big news :)

  5. I need to adopt this approach more. You are far more sensible than me. I worry so much for my children's future. I'm all too aware that I can't be here to care for them and love them and protect them forever. Worrying doesn't achieve a lot though and who knows? Who knows? If nothing else, they have each other and even if the give and take between them will probably never be even, I think that's okay. I think that being the one who gives more bestows it's own benefits.



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