Category Archives: Humor

I Will Taint Trump

After much thinking I have now decided that because Trump is my neighbor, and I am called to love my neighbor, I cannot vote for him for his own good. Although it is clear to me that Trump is a sinner, I fear I may be a worst sinner, and since I cannot know for sure who is a greater sinner, I must take the safe route and assume I am. Therefore, I cannot vote for Trump, because if I am a worse sinner than he is, my vote will taint him, and love cannot have that. Surely bad company corrupts good morals, and if I am the bad company, Trump will be corrupted. I cannot vote for Trump, because my vote will add guilt to him.

To prove my conclusion, consider this example. I am running for president and in a press conference I pull out a letter from the President of North Korea saying he is voting for me, and believes I should be president. Would that vote from the PNK taint me? It sure seems like it right?

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My Buddy Chance

Many people call on his name or talk about him like they know him, but I know him and his name is Chance. Long ago his father Zeus sired him and his brother Nothing along with his sister Void. It took them many years to grow up and they all took different career paths. Nothing is very lazy and sits around all day being himself. Patiently, Void waits for others to fulfill her emptiness and when they approach she takes more of them then they intended to give her. It is my buddy Chance who really is the busy one and who really does all the work.

Upon the toil that no man knows, Chance brandished his mighty arm and beat the world into existence. Throughout the universe he rides the wings of the furious storm and makes sure that coin tosses are 50/50 heads and tails. He keeps the chance your airplane will crash at around 0.00001% and makes sure that when you play poker the royal flush you seek is only allowed to you at a 0.000154% probability. Yes, Chance is very busy, but yet he never seems to get tired.

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Forget or Forget?

It is interesting to me how quickly we forget. Like a fish that forgets it was just feeding, so our own memory lapse could end in our own destruction. Perhaps we should consider ourselves all on the Amnesia spectrum somewhere between minor and sever, this forgetfulness is so epidemic. Why is forgetting such a problem? Forgetfulness is the root of all sorts of evil, malcontent, and otherwise degenerated thinking.

Depending on how one understands the story, it sure seems that Adam and Eve quickly forgot God’s words to them about the tree and perverted them into a memory that benefited their own desires, or so they deceived themselves. Consider further the Children of Israel in Egypt, they complain to God for 400 years about their slavery, and right after God responds and displays His power in ten miracles, a cloud and burning pillar of fire followed by a sea being parted, they almost immediately forget God can command nature and how horrible slavery was and begin believing that they will die for lack of God’s provision and wished they were back in slavery. Yikes!

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Bad Beard Behavior

I do not know if you keep up with the news like I do but this trend of “men-wear-beards” is really starting to bug me. First it started out with men wearing beards alone and in secret afraid to share their lifestyle choice with others. It was a hard time for these men. They couldn’t help it that they wanted to grow and wear large, full beards. It was just how they matured as men and how they were raised: “real men grow and wear beards, son”. But it was a shameful secret that they had to hide from others because so many people just don’t understand beard wearing men.

Many decades past in America, and the beard growing men started becoming more accepted in society, they no longer had to feel so ashamed to share their beard growing secret with others, they were finally able to come out of the closet, so to speak (closet is referring to their having to hide their beard growing). Soon this wave of acceptance from the culture at large emboldened these men and their supporters, until we have reached our current state of affairs and why I just had to write this blog to get it off my chest.

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Government, Jobs, and you

To understand the destructive, dreary, and dismal side of Government jobs we must first condescend to the origins of Government. Why do we have Government in the first place and why does this Government have jobs? The answer is extremely complex; allow me to state it simply. Government is nothing more than the people working together for the common good, and it is nothing less than the common good working for the people. It is the will of the people, created by the people, to rule the people by people. Laws define it and it defines the laws. It is circular, it is organic, and it is a machine.

We the people create the Government and in return the Government creates us. After we gifted some of our freedom, our humanity, our responsibility, and our creativity to it, it thanked us by redefining humanity and the boundaries in which we can act it out.  It is necessary and it is tyrannical. It saves lives while destroying them, and it abolishes freedom to protect freedom. It is the giving of lesser things, to protect the greater things. It is a necessary evil, to control and protect humans, but it was not always so.

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Ryan’s Pet pevs (in development)

This is a list of Ryan’s pet pevs (and annoyances), it is in continual development.

1. People who season their food with out tasting it. C’mon how do you know if it needs more salt, unless you taste it first. This is usually insulting to the cook, not to mention just plain dumb. Only case where it is ok (maybe) is where you already have had that food over and over and it is consistently in need of extra seasoning. But seriously how hard is it to just taste it first?

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