reflect | nineteen years.

nineteen years.

years filled with some light and some darkness.

days filled with an abundance of goodness.

my days on this earth have been filled with so much laughter and beautiful moments.

there are so many moments that have caused my heart to leap. these moments aren’t huge or brilliantly bright for all to see. no, these moments are small and subtle. they catch me off guard when they happen, but they linger with me still.

moments like:

talking to strangers and not realizing that you have let a complete stranger see into a corner of your heart. the glorious moment the sun touches your face warming your cheeks and you sit waiting, listening for the sweet truths that God whispers over you. the sudden burst of laughter from your lips as you see something that could only provoke an unadulterated moment of pure innocence. that time when the awful truth leaves the dark hiding place in your soul. those moments where life has washed over you and have left you alone and cold. but at that same moment a loving God cradling you in His arms; showering you in a love not polluted by conditions. the days you witness miracles and get a taste of heaven as it graces earth. minutes, hours, days have led to these moments. perfectly orchestrated to patch together a beautiful life story.

nineteen years

so what will the following years look like?

there’s no way to know, but I pray they are filled with more of these glorious moments. more smiles that red-painted nails bring. more favorite songs to blast in the car. more energy to continue to dance around the house. more mirrors filled with funny faces reflecting silliness. more cups of peppermint tea. more spontaneous acts that bring dreams to reality. more times for words to fuel and inspire a mind that is constantly seeking inspiration. more moments of total stillness. more simple minutes of reflection. more occasions when the magnitude of God silences an anxious heart. more times when there is nothing but pure joy filling an awakened soul. 

yes, I want more of that.

let my days be filled with these flashes of goodness. not just for memories sake, but for it to be known that I have lived every second, every minute, every hour, every day of my years on this earth.

I have lived.

my heart is expectant for the years to come.