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Monday, January 06, 2014

Over the course of a single weekend with her father, Amelie asked a number of insightful and pertinent questions, chief amongst them being:

Why does Mummy go out every weekend?

Why does she always stay out until midnight?


Why do I have to do all the work?

Which essentially proves that she's living in a fantasy world. Especially as I was doing the washing up when she asked the last one.

But despite Amelie's protestations, the kids and I survived a weekend without Lisa. Mainly because she was home from the convention at five-thirty on Saturday, and at 2 o'clock on Sunday. Frankly she spends longer in the bathroom.

To be honest, I was glad she wasn't gone the whole weekend, as I still felt pretty rough yesterday, and Amelie was working too hard to pass me the sick bucket. I was also slightly concerned that any insect bite which still looks like this after three days...

... is likely to result in amputation. I struggled to look after the children as I was forced to spend a lot of time googling 'false widow bites' on the internet. I was tempted to e-mail the Hospital for Tropical Diseases in London, but the furthest I've travelled recently is Hastings, and whilst I'm sure you can pick up a few nasty infections in that town, I think the worst I'm likely to have caught is a cold from David Quantick.

So in the end I consoled myself with the thought that whilst I might not have any hair on my head, I'm still cultivating it like alfalfa on my forearms, and even if I lose one due to a septic spider bite, some people would give their right arm for flexor muscles like those, and I'm lucky enough to still have mine.

Anyhoo, the good news is that in response to my nausea and wheal of misfortune, Lisa got a doctor round this morning. The bad news is that she's the mother of one of Amelie's friends, and reacted by taking them to Monkey Bizness. So my next thing will be SV40.


Phil's Mum said...

Your wound looks an interesting shape. Are you the first person to have a lethal bite from a butterfly?

Phil said...

I should have taken out red admiral multi-scar insurance.