HE'S BACK: Scott doesn't hold back in his latest column

So let's start with Pricey... Yes, of course I would bang her, she is FIT. She is also a wicked woman and a laugh to be around. But she is married with kids and I respect that.

I never get this 'source said' s*** in articles. What source was it, Heinz Ketchup?

No one on my team would tell a paper I was engaged to Mel Reeves and when I split up with her I went radge. One, I was never engaged. Two, I have been radge since day dot and never changed.

Also, where do they get the fact I have had a crush on Katie P for years? When did I become 17?

RUMOUR HAS IT: There were reports Scotty slept with Katie - but they'd just gone for sunbed

I think it's funny that people then call me a home-wrecker on Twitter. Being serious, what home have I wrecked?! Are you demented or deluded? Trolls p*** me off. They just sit on social media waiting for their s*** lives to get interesting by goading people. Do you not realise I have a mute button?

The trademarks of a troll are as follows:

A) You have a picture of a half naked male / female as your lock screen pic

B) You have a fake profile picture

C) You w**k every night because you either have no one to bang you or you knock your partner sick

D) You judge everyone like they should be on The Brady Bunch even though you are a tit with no mates

E) You have severe dandruff and an iPhone 3 or under

F) And you're a c***.

TROLL ATTACK: Scott is sick of keyboard warriors
AWKWARD: Scott and Love Island's Sophie traded swipes this week

Like that no mark moron who thought she could @ me after some poncy award show.

Yes, no one will know who you are in four months, no matter how hard you try to stay relevant.

Yes, you may get a few followers off me biting, but really, f you and f all trolls like you. You absolute dog.

Anyway, seen our show Ex On The Beach has been getting a going over on the Daily Star Online this week! How can people say some of the girls are too good for the show?

I think Lillie Lexie Gregg and Charlotte Dawson are wicked girls, and I have a lot of time for them, but let's get the facts straight...

Lillie asked to go on the show and wasn't forced. She also watched as Stephen Bear kissed the Aussie pass-around, trying it on with her in the villa, so she can't exactly be shocked by what he did with Chloe Khan on Celeb Big Brother.

NAUGHTY GIRL: Charlotte got her share of action on Ex On The Beach

And Charlotte, she gave everyone a suck or w**k in that villa. Just like Jordan Davies was the Fingering King, she was the Blow Job Queen.

Nowt wrong with it, but they were on the show because they wanted to be and for no other reason.

And let's clear it up. It's one of the biggest MTV shows in the world, most girls would give their right tit and both pinky toes to be on the bloody thing. You're guaranteed to get blasted if you want, free clothes for at least six months, get verified, and do some "exciting projects".

So yeah, rant over.

In case you missed it, my book is out this month and I'm doing some crazy signings.

BACK ON IT: Geordie Shore is back later this month

Geordie Shore or 'Geordie S***e' (really!!) is back this month as well... Yay, more money.

I just found out I'm going back to Australia in five weeks. Buzzing, this is going to be some epic carnage.

Last word, seen people tweeting that Kim Kardashian deserved to be robbed. Why can't people who have, not just have, without tramps robbing them?! There is nothing worse than harm coming to someone you love, so before everyone jumps on the bandwagon, remember that.

Last last word... If you want to be a troll or a virgin c***, I hope you never have sex again unless you pay for it.

Then I hope you catch hepatitis.

Scott XXX