Friday, August 26, 2011

"See you at Tronno High today"

It's been a week that I will never forget. Six words in an email that have left me winded. Made me a part of something bigger than my normal day to day life.

Normally the beginning of the week is home based, laundry, cleaning and helping out in the kids school. By getting everything running smoothly at the beginning of the week the days that I do work don't seem to impact the family. This week the kids had a pupil free day on Monday so instead of getting them to help in the house we just went out and met Dad for lunch and did some nice errands. Tuesday was Book-week celebrations which was great fun but I spent all day at school while the ironing mountain was getting dangerously high. Wednesday we were running out of clean socks and it was reading with the kookaburras. Wednesday afternoon Gareth and Rhiannon were due to travel to a local school to take part in a cultural festival with lots of other primary schools. I love going to things that are on when I am lucky enough to not be working.

Wednesday I was unsure. There were no clean uniforms for Thursday and the house truly was a mess. I asked the kids would they mind if I didn't go to watch them. They were ok about it but the guilt was niggling in my head. I told them that unless another Mum nagged me to come along that I would stay home and get the house back on it's feet. Literally less than one minute later there was a ping from the computer. An email had come in from Monica, "See you at Tronno High today" I called out to the kids in playful exasperation "Aaarggh! That was Monica nagging! I'll be there, the ironing can wait!"

I have not got my head around what happened that afternoon. I don't want to go into too many details that might upset anyone. The brief summary is that we stood for the national anthem. My kids played in their school band as another school choir sang the words. I had goose-bumps as I heard the words. They were making me emotional.

As we sat down they interrupted the concert and a woman spoke into the microphone. "Is there a nurse or a doctor in the audience? Can you please come to the fire exit"

I stood, I walked through the door and for the next hour I was part of trying to resuscitate a woman who had collapsed. Being a nurse in a hospital is one distinct part of who I am. Being a mother is another. Mixing the two was hard. Hearing the sounds of the children singing on one side of the fire-door while hearing the paramedics count us over the phone as we performed mouth to mouth and cardiac compression on the other side is something I cannot shake. When the paramedics got there her heart had a weak output. We had maintained her. Unfortunately she didn't survive. She was 56 and the grandmother of one of Gareth's classmates.

I know that I did my best, along with all the other wonderful people who also were a part of the CPR. I just feel a bit overwhelmed. Confused. Grateful to have been there. Sad she didn't make it. Proud I tried. Scared when the images flash back into my head. Embarrassed by the messages of thanks and the flowers that I have received from friends, from school. Emotional when I was given a Thank-You card written by the family.

I had contact on Thursday from the school where the concert took place. Their staff were all sent for counselling. I was offered it but had turned it down without truly thinking about it. I was offered it again today and I have accepted.

I know in time I will be fine. Life goes on. Sian went to school on Thursday and Friday in slightly crumpled sports shirts. I went to work. I talked to a lot of people about how I felt. I now know that I was meant to be at Toronto High at 12.35pm on Wednesday the 24th of August 2011. I knew in my heart before the day unfolded that I wouldn't put the ironing ahead of being a Mum. I just needed those six little words from Monica to realise it...

15 comments - click here to leave your comment:

  1. Goodness Gina what a mixed bag of emotions for you...
    You should be very proud of yourself for what you did as I'm sure your family are too.
    Glad you decided to take the offer of counselling.
    Be gentle on yourself this week.
    Take care,

  2. Wow what a traumatic day. Definitely a good idea to have the counselling even just to talk things through and get feelings out. Hope you can find time to chill out with the family at the weekend.
    Sandra x

  3. I've literally got goosebumps thinking about what you did and with such grace you have accepted the situation and the aftermath. I am glad that you have accepted the counseling...

    At my cousin's wedding a dear friend of their family had a heart attack after dancing a polka and my mom (a nurse) had to give him mouth to mouth/compressions on the dance floor. They also kept him alive, but he did not survive the day.

    Hopefully the memory of that tragedy will fade and the blessings will get brighter from the trial (people coming together, etc.).

    With Hope,

  4. Thinking of you...

  5. Oh Gina, it sounds like you were meant to be there that day and you did everything you could. It's good that you'll give counselling a go, even just to talk it through. So sad. Let me know if there's anything I can do xx

  6. This is a terrific share, not only for telling the facts, but also for the honesty with which you hopen your heart. It made me cry for your generosity, for your concern for the woman, for your deep emotional involvement.
    You may not realise that you are also sending a strong message: I am 58 and you reminded me that today I am alive, tomorrow who knows. It is an encouragement to concentrate on what really matters and...enjoy life if possible.
    Thank you.

  7. Gina after reading this post thought I must write a comment. You are and always will be someone I look up to and admire. I know along with all your other friends whatever you do, you always give it 100% and do the best you can and I know that that day would have been no exception. You are a kind, giving, lovely person and I can imagine the mixed emotions you are feeling but knowing you as a person know that you will learn from the experience and keep living life to the full. Lots of love Josie xxxxx

  8. I too was at Tronno High, but I was there for the morning session as my daughter performed around 11am. I usually work Wednesday, but took the day off to watch her dance. I read your story with shock and sadness Gina :(

  9. I am so incredibly sorry you had to go through that Gina. I am sure it meant more to the family than you will ever know that you were there to help give her a chance. To fight for her. But I am so sorry for the toll this has surely taken on your heart. And for her family, and the far too early loss they have had to deal with.

  10. Aww.. I almost teared up reading..'Life must go on'..
    It was a brave thing u did.. Loved reading ur blog.. its soo daily-life too (just like my frame) ..appreciate ur comment :o)

    Stay happy..stay blessed..

    new fan .

  11. Gina, I am so sure your family must be so proud of you~ It is so sad that the "young" grandmother did not live. It is heartbreaking for all involved, including all the staff and children at the school. Thank heavens you were there to offer your skills. I know I would feel the need to send you a thank you if it were my family member. What a comfort to know their loved one was in such good loving hands~ yours. God has a plan~ you were part of his plan, for her, that day. Love to you friend~

  12. Bless your heart, that must have been so VERY traumatic for you! So very sad that Grammie didn't survive. Her family must be thanking GOD for your help though. Life truly IS so very short. I'm a 58 year old Grammie, and have hosted my three grandchildren for eight weeks this summer...I SO want them to have good memories of their Gram. Bless you...

  13. Dear Gina, I am so sorry to read this sad post .. you should be very proud of yourself.. you did something that others cannot do ... and I so pleased that you did go and talk to somebody.. bless you . I can tell that you are a very very caring lovely person .. who is there for everyone... and you have lovely friends who are there for YOU!! take care Anne

  14. Gina this would have been one of the most difficult things to have gone through. You were meant to be there on that day, that you were so brave and tried your best. I hope that you are feeling better. Hugs xoxo

  15. I was thinking about this again the other day Gina and I hope that somehow the latest emergency which brought new life into the world has played a little part in your healing xx