Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor

What? Seventeen???

It's true, Kennedy turned seventeen on Saturday!

Yes, you!  And despite the fact that I told him he could have whatever kind of tea party birthday celebration he wanted, he declined - something about being too old for that.  And a boy.  Whatever!

So the decorations were a little more subdued than they were for Zoe's party (understatement), but I tried to still spread the Birthday Vibe around the house a little.

You're never too old to be forced into wearing a party hat,
one way or another.

And we did still make him listen to the traditional horrendous, off-key rendition of the Happy Birthday Song before he blew out the candles on his carrot cake cupcakes.

He said his birthday-candle wish was for us to stop singing, which of course made us launch into the extended remix version of the song. But since it was his birthday wish, we eventually did stop singing, which just goes to show what great parents we are.

K's pretty great, too, so for his 17th birthday I'm listing, in no particular order:

17 Random Things That Are Awesome About Kennedy

1. He plays games with us at an age when most guys won't even acknowledge they HAVE parents, even though he used to make us play Dragonmaster (which is easily the worst game ever invented) until I cut it up into elevendy million pieces and burned it in a huge bonfire on the lawn (not really).

2. He's an incredible artist, and is so talented in so many different genres, media and styles that it's pretty unbelievable.  I can't do anything with watercolors that you couldn't accurately title Amorphous Blob in Brown, but he can paint and draw and sculpt and even create cool stuff on the computer. I'm very much looking forward to the fruits of his talent funding our extravagant retirement lifestyle.

3. He appreciates little gestures, like having the raisins hand-picked out of the carrot cake mix, which makes you want  to do stuff for him, unlike a lot of teenagers whose attitudes just sort of make you want to punch a kitten.

4. He is supremely sarcastic.  You know I heart that.

5. He watches dumb shows like Hoarders: Buried Alive  and Two Ton Dad  with me.  This is important because otherwise I'd have to watch these shows alone, and it's so much funnier to have Kennedy there to mutter, "This is why we can't have nice things" when a tower of filthy, hoarded garbage tips over on someone on the TV.

6. He has done a BUNCH of work this year at school and is getting amazing grades, which will not only pay off for him, but also gives his dad a platform upon which he can gloat about how right he was about K's brilliance.  I'm pretty sure that's not exactly why K put in the extra effort, but it's a nice bonus.

7. I think it's funny how he has this offhanded ego about his ability to kill stuff in video games, and is really humble about everything else.  I think I might know where he gets that.

8. He puts up with us when we're making fun of a movie (which is always), even when it makes him miss all the good parts (because we're loudly discussing how there aren't any good parts).

9. He loooves his baby sister.  It's so sweet.
I think he still likes her.

10.  He has great hair.  I realize this isn't a character trait, but still.  It's worth mentioning.

11.  He lets Jake & Zoe climb on him like a jungle gym, then shakes them off with mild irritation or tickle-tortures them just like a blood brother would.  Awesome.

12. He never complains, even though we were short on bedrooms around here for a long time and he had to sleep on a fold-out couch a few feet away from Maddie's changing table. I'm hoping this means he's just very accommodating and tolerant, and not that he has incredibly low expectations of us.

13. He has inadvertently struck the perfect balance of style that looks cool and allows him to express himself, without making Gerry want to throw himself out a window (read: no facial piercings).

14. He's honest. He tells Gerry things that I think a lot of teenagers would never tell their dad, which I think is cool.  So does G.

15. He joins in when we sing stupid songs. This might just be a defense mechanism, like humoring a crazy person who's gone off his meds until the authorities arrive, but it's still fun.  Here's me trying to block out K singing Happy Birthday earlier this year.

* For the record, I'm not 76 years old, though I should say  that I am because I look great  for 76.  No, 1976 was the year I was born and Gerry just found a way to creatively use the candles we had lying around - much in the same way that the cake is also one that we had lying around (note that there's only about 1/4 of it left and it's decorated with an "E" - Jake's bday is the day before mine).

16. Kennedy is super helpful - he vacuums without grumbling, and takes our dishes to the kitchen for us after dinner without us even asking!  He also works in the yard even though I'm pretty sure he hates it, which leads me to...

17. He graciously didn't kill his dad when Gerry waited until K had showered and gone back upstairs, then sent him a text telling him to go outside and mow the yard. I owe him a debt of gratitude that he didn't strangle anyone when he came downstairs to do what he was told, only to find his dad laughing like a madman.

So, that's certainly not everything, but it's 17 somethings!  I only wish I'd been around longer so I could take some credit for how awesome he is, but I'm glad I get to be around to know him now. Happy birthday, K!



  1. YOU'RE seventeen. I sent K a text telling him he should read your blog today. I took a pic of the "17 things" header and included it, lest he just mutter "mmhmm" and not read it. Who doesn't like reading about how awesome they are? On that note: you're awesome.

  2. You are awesome. K IS awesome, I only met him that one time but I remember thinking, " what a great kid". You basically just published that thought only much funnier, thoughtful, & creative -that's a great gift! :-)

  3. I agree; K is awesome. And far wiser than most 17 year olds.

