Tuesday, September 29, 2009


My office smells like it's just had a shave. Which is because there was a large spill of a gooey aftershave lotion on the rug that I was only partly able to clean up. The reason for the spill is that I rolled my chair over a full container of Gillette Series After-Shave Gel. The reason that was on the floor in the first place is that my office is a huge mess, and every damn thing that I have no need for ends up in here, taking up space. The reason I had the stuff in the first place is that someone (I'm thinking my stepmother) bought if more me as a stocking stuffer last Christmas. I didn't want it, but I didn't toss it or deliberately take it with me on a trip and leave it in a hotel somewhere.

And now I'm paying the price for both my chronic indecision and my inbred slovenliness. See, if I'd just thrown it away - knowing full well I'd never be using it - OR if I'd put it in the bathroom closet where it could be more appropriately ignored, then I wouldn't be where I am now. Which is with tingling nostrils and slightly stinging eyes, as well as an ironic three-day growth on my chin that needs shaving.

Seriously, this stuff smells awful. Is this supposed to be attractive to women in some way? Perhaps it's aimed as an aphrodisiac at female lab-workers who have had their olfactory glands burned out by too many chemical interactions, and can only feel at the outer extremes of scent.



Christine said...

It fades. Fresh aftershave is too pungent but once it's absorbed into the skin it calms down... end-of-day residual aftershave smell can be quite nice, if the man is not ALSO wearing cologne. Despite what my industry says, you only need one or the other, lest you risk guidostank.

Dave Kopperman said...

I don't mean aftershave in general, I mean this cesspool of chemicals that is the Gillette gel.


Christine said...

I guarantee my office smells worse right now. Just had to fill 20 bottles of a cheap men's fragrance...

shaunian said...

Maybe you should shave your floor.