Saturday, February 6

Losing It

Although I'm quite an easy going guy (stop laughing at the back) most of the time, there are rare occasions when I'll see red. During these times, I'll become irrational, single-minded and deaf to reason; the last of which is a shame as since I'm almost always in the wrong when this happens it would be good if I were able to realise this sooner rather than later.

Take this morning, for instance.

For reasons that don't really matter I decided to run laps in the local park for my weekly long-run. It was milder than usual and so I took off my otherwise essential hat and gloves and left them on one of the park benches; no one was going to take a crappy fake Thinsulate hat (that all middle aged Asian men seem to have) and knitted gloves, and even if they did I was lapping at around 2 to 3 minutes so would probably catch them in the act.

An hour into my run and I noticed that my hat had disappeared from the place I had left it. Walking away from the park bench was a middle aged Asian man wearing it.

And that was pretty much all I needed to make a confrontation. He was obviously a thief. He even looked like one.

"Is that your hat?" I asked him rudely. "Excuse me?" he replied, quite surprised. I asked again and this time he said it was his. He was still smiling, not quite aware of what I was accusing him of. "I just saw you take it", I lied, trying to catch him out. "I have no idea what you're talking about, this is my hat". "Are you sure? My name is written inside" I pathetically lied again.

This (admittedly lame) exchange went on for a few seconds, myself becoming more angry, the guy not smiling any more. If I had taken a few moments, I would have listened to my sub-conscious screaming at me that the hat was the wrong colour and shape, but none of that really mattered by that point. It was only after I had grabbed the hat off his head that I realised it was a size too big and had an extra layer of fake Thinsulate material inside.

In return the guy grabbed the cord of my headphones, stripping its wires as he did so. He then took a few swipes, drool flying from his mouth as he did so. This was nothing major and easy to avoid; at that point I just wanted the whole thing to end; not because of the trouble I was in but more because I was the one in the wrong. Still insisting that it was my hat I shoved it back into his hands, took my broken headphones and responded to his effing and blinding as I carried on my run, realising that if I hadn't given this poor guy unwarranted grief I would have probably found the person who had really taken my stuff.

Which I did. Further in that same lap I noticed a woman and her dog. The woman had put something down on another bench, and when I approached it I found that they were my gloves. Catching up to her and getting her attention with a much more polite and controlled "excuse me", she immediately asked if the hat she was carrying was mine, and how she was taking it to lost or found (something my gloves didn't seem worthy of). Not believing her one bit (but not actually caring) I took it off her and carried on my way. Where the hell was this calm and reasonable me a few minutes ago? My irrationality cost me my pride and a set of headphones, but more importantly hassle for someone who was just minding his own business.

So there you have it. I'm one of those troublemaking thugs you hear your uncles and aunties complaining about. Which makes me wonder two things: firstly how many troublemaker incidents are just normal people flipping out? And secondly I wonder if I would have flipped out if some of the variables had changed (I don't think I would have been as confrontational if it was a hot woman for instance).

To my credit I did run in the direction the poor fella was originally walking, all the way to the bus stop that I thought he might have been heading to. He probably wouldn't have given me a chance to apologise (and quite reasonably so), but I thought I should at least try. I didn't find him but maybe he'll be reading this? If so, I'm unreservedly sorry.


  1. this is quality. so funny

  2. Anonymous16:36

    You don't seem the type that could run for an hour.

  3. ah that cracked me up ^

    seriously though, talking about running. I can run fine but for me I just get so bored so quick.. I have this mental block.. after 30mins I just want to stop.

  4. I can talk to myself for ages! And in the rare event that I get bored of my own company, well, I have my iPod.

    It's as boring as any other individual sport, surely?

  5. it's probably the repetitiveness I think the most I ever did was around 45 mins on the treadmill.

    the only other solo sport I partake in is chickwatching.

  6. A treadmill is vastly different from road or cross country running. Depending on where you go, you can do your chickwatching too...

  7. I was cringing whilst reading that. It was funny though.

    I enjoy running, I'm lucky that it's quite scenic where I am, and I like the me time I can devote to just thinking out things. It's rare that I actually listen to my mp3 player.

    And the opportunity to admire all of Allah's creations is always appreciated, especially in Summer.

  8. I'm surprised everyone found it funny. It made me a little sad.

  9. i found it sad too...i guess people are quick to judge and only expect the worst...I guess we want to believe that good people dont exist anymore...

  10. rohit17:28

    i'm gonna report you- you deserve an asbo


  12. More like this please!!

  13. This was a strange but very human story. Humans are funneh.

  14. Princess Pink Moon08:31

    Best blog ever. I love you.