Is Searching for Lost Birth Relatives Worth the Risk?

I think about her everyday.Dear friends,

Before deciding to go full blast on our adventure, we must count the cost, don’t you think?

See this precious little girl, dressed up as a detective? If we could see her heart, this is what she would look like. Most adoptees in the All-Adoptee Growth Group ( say that they think about their birth mother every day.

I’d like for us to consider the risks of searching regarding the adopted child, whether he/she is a newborn, school-aged, teen, or adult adoptee. What is it like for we adoptees to not have acknowledgement of our birth families?

THAT is the cost we need to count! We need to keep in mind that adoption is about a child being placed in a nurturing home, not a child meeting the needs of parents for a family.

How will searching/not searching for birth relatives affect your child? You? We’ll talk about that next.

Adoption Identity Fact for today: 100% of adoptees are searching for their birth relatives. It may not be a literal search, but it is a search nonetheless. (Research, Brodzinsky, Schecter, Henig: The Search for Self).

What comes to mind as a risk for you? You can be honest here. We want diverse viewpoints! Do you believe adoptees think about their birth mothers (especially) every day? Do these thoughts show up in behavior, questions, school projects? Adoptees, what form do your thoughts come in? Do they occur on birthdays, Mother’s Day, or any day? Birth parents, is there even a day goes by that you don’t miss your child?

What are your thoughts after reading these posts? Please share so that you, me, and others can grow! Leave your comments way to the bottom of this site.

Thanks for stopping by today!


You Are Invited to an Adoption Identity Search!

You are invited to join me in what I’m calling an “Identity Search!”
It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do or how and if your life has been touched by adoption.

We will be searching for clues, confirmations, circumstances, and confidence.

Up for the journey with me?

I’ll give you an adoption identity fact with each post.
Identity Fact: There are currently 7 million adult adoptees in the United States

I look forward to your responses to the invitation and the Identity Fact!

Have You Been Carrying Around Old Things, Like Me?

Dear friends,

There’s a photo that I’ve been hauling around in a folder for years (at least 30). Of course, I can’t put my hands on it right now, but let me describe it to you.  It features a Jewish man who is weeping profusely, his face mostly buried in a damp handkerchief. If you read the caption, he is remembering what happened, probably to his family, in the Holocaust.

Now, why would I carry this newspaper clipping around for so long? Was it his sadness that resonated with me? Or, was it something deeper?

It wouldn’t become clear for years. Eventually, I would see it was related to my identity.

How about you? Have you had a similar experience? Reflect back and share!