Monday, December 17, 2007

What does this make Paolo, the Pool Boy?

"We need to hire a housekeeper," I announce to the DNB. "And her name will be Rita."

"Okay," the DNB replies.

"She will clean and do laundry and sign for packages, but most importantly, she will have a wonderful dinner on the stove when we come home from work," I decide.

"Perfect," the DNB agrees. "Will she be an illegal or legal immigrant?"

"Legal, of course." I'm an attorney, I'm not crazy. "But we'll only pay minimum wage and we won't offer health insurance unless required by law. It'll be just like she's working at Walmart."

"Sounds good," says the DNB. "Maybe we could even pay her less."

"And we'll get to know her children," I continue. "And we'll buy them presents at Christmas."

"Wait, children?" the DNB interrupts with concern. "How old are her children?"

"Oh I don't know, not that young. She'll be like a mother figure to us. Loving but disapproving."

"She can't be like a mother figure," the DNB protests. "She has to be hot."

"No, you're thinking of the nanny," I correct him. "Rita is matronly, the nanny is hot."

"Oh right, okay," he replies, mollified.


Dana said...

Makes perfect sense to me.

Paolo is the Christmas tree, remember? But I suppose he could also be the pool boy...

S said...

Oh yes, Paolo was the Christmas tree. But he's also our pool boy. When we get a pool. And a boy to tend it.