Patient jokes

25 jokes about patients


Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."

Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

25     doctor jokes



21     doctor jokes



Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.


To which the third patient answered, “Well Doc, I can’t swim!"

11     mental institutions jokes




Patient: "Ooh No! That's awefull! In two years my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this?"


5     Alzheimer's jokes


Jon and Dan are in a mental institution which has an annual contest that picks two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they answer correctly, they are released.

Jon is called into the doctor's office first. The doctor says: "Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?"

Jon says: "I'd be half blind."

"That's correct. What would happen if I poked out both your eyes?"

"I'd be completely blind." The doctor tells him that he is free to go. On Jon's way out he tells Dan the questions and answers.

The doctor asks Dan: "What would happen if I cut off one of your ears?"

Dan says: "I'd be half blind."

The doctor, slightly puzzled, continues, "What would happen if I cut off both your ears?"

"I'd be completely blind."

"Dan, how can you explain that you'd be blind?" asks the doctor.

"Well," replies Dan, "my hat would fall over my eyes."

13     Short jokes

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