Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Phillies taser incident

A few days ago, this 17 year old high school kid ran out onto the field at a Phillies game at Citizens Bank Park Field or whatever they call that place. Of course, the story line is all about whether the use of a taser constituted "excessive force." To be honest, I think the tasering was justified. I'm inclined to say - hey, if you're gonna blatantly break the law and disrupt a pro sporting event just for the youtube highlights then you should get manhandled. Here's a hypothetical - what if the dumbshit kid had a taser himself and was running toward one of those 8 million per year outfielders. It's easy to sneak shit into a ballgame. It's not like a Slayer concert where they make you go through pat downs and metal detectors.

So the kid got tasered and that's that. Well, not entirely. You see, yesterday another Phillies fan stormed the field. This guy was a bit older and they managed to subdue him the old fashioned way. He's being hailed as a "copycat."

Just an aside, I remember some guy charging onto the field during a pro football game and this linebacker literally CRUSHED him with an old school GORE. That's some weirdos pro wrestling football move - 3 point stance, charge and tackle.

Anyway, the whole incident got me to thinking about the randomness of charging onto the field. Could there be a way to inflict REAL damage or have a definitive impact on the outcome of the game? What if, just what if it was a highly coordinated group of individuals that charge the field. What if a wide swath of fans were notified via text message - CHARGE! Kind of a simple message, but think about it. All of a sudden, instead of 1 lone nutjob, there's 50 guys running onto the field. And what if this group had an understanding that a specific (and seriously despised) ball player is fair game. What if there was an "I Hate Rothlisberger" facebook website (I'm sure there are several). Anyway, you could use a specifically targeted facebook page to help spread your systempunkt message. Not sure how wise it would be to jump onto the field at an NFL game though.

This would probably be best suited for flash mob style assaults on pro baseball players, since many stand in isolated areas on the field. Also, European soccer games come to mind - specifically goal keepers when the action is on the opposite side of the pitch.

My point - just like my past looting predictions for when this country approaches the abrupt verge of devastation via long-term steady decay, all these silly pillow fight and song & dance flash mobs spontaneously notified through electronic messaging won't be the only game in town. If there's a true state of equilibrium for advents in technology (and rest assured, there is balance in everything - Saf's overriding golden rule), a randomly coordinated flash mob assault on a professional athlete is inevitable. I would think the best target would be a very religious/extremist outspoken Muslim soccer player from Egypt, coming off the heals of a devastating terror attack in London. Some of the lower tier English Premier League teams (Sunderland, Wigan, etc.) play in less secure conditions and older facilities. Yet, they inevitably host high profile stars. That's where you'd design your pro athlete systempunkt.

In retrospect, the Rothlisberger angle was a poor choice. Sexual abuse allegations and assholic behavior are not enough to incite a mob. You need an extraordinary political event (most likely a terrorist attack that kills plenty of innocents, the smaller the town or community, the more effective). Perhaps an area that has been impacted by ongoing riots and/or protests would certainly facilitate matters. It's all about timing and asymmetry. These are the weapons of the future as lone individuals and small focused groups challenge the authority of the state and seek to overthrow the status quo.

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