Friday, July 13, 2012

Review: The Most Improper Sophie Valentine by Jayne Fresina

Sophie Valentine has never lived by society's rules and she doesn't really care. She's ruined herself and rejected the marriage proposal that followed and her one chance at respectability. From the time she was 19 to the present, she still searches for that elusive something that will give her life meaning and purpose. Now, she's taken an advertisement in a papers, looking for a husband.

And someone was actually brash enough to reply!

Lazarus Kane was 14 when he saw a young lady jump out of the balcony -- and he fell in love with her then. It took him a decade to find her again and he's left the army and traveled all the way to Sydney Dovedale in order to answer her advertisement.

Sophie is surprised to know that someone actually took her advertisement seriously -- and even more surprised when she meets the very mysterious and very handsome Lazarus Kane.

I had a hard time finishing this book -- it starts out very slowly, with very little action and a lot of exposition happening in the first 100+ pages. I felt the prose was a bit lopsided, favoring long descriptive sections and introspection over dialogue and action.

Consider Lazarus and Sophie's first meeting (pp 13-19), Lazarus is on his way to Souls Dryft, which he had rented for his stay at Sydney Dovedale.

Moving along the hedge, he stood in the soft shade of a chestnut tree, where the grass was still wet and the dank earthiness tickled his nostrils. He'd just removed his hat to comb his hair back with the fingers of one hand, when something dropped on his head. One corner of it narrowly missed his left eye. and it bounced to the grass at his feet. A stifled curse trickled down through the branches, but when he looked up into the tree, all was very still. If it was possible to hear breath being held, he was certain he heard it. The fingers of a small hand slowly retreated like stealthy caterpillars through the leaves.

"Good morning," he called out, holding hid hat to his chest.

(Two paragraphs follow narrating how Lazarus picked up the book and is shocked by the content. No dialogue.)

"I didn't mean to disturb you," he shouted up into the tree even as he wondered why he apologized, since it was her indecent book that almost took out his eye. He knew it was a woman. Her presence rippled against his skin like the soft, sun warmed waves of a calm but curious sea.

(Ten short paragraphs follow narrating how Lazarus is met with silence. And then the "mysterious" woman finally comes down the tree, feet and petticoats first, giving Lazarus an interesting view. No dialogue.)

Without a word, she held out her hand. She was an agreeably rounded creature, with delicate but well-defined features and a stunning pair of bright hazel eyes that shone full of stars, even in daytime and under the tumbled shade of the chestnut tree.

(The paragraph continues to describe Sophie as angelic. And then four more paragraphs continue narrating that Lazarus finally recognizes his mysterious woman as Sophie, the woman he fell in love with many years ago and has come to Sydney Dovedale to marry. No dialogue.)

"A kiss, madam," he muttered. "Is that not a fair exchange?"

(And then fifteen paragraphs follow describing how Sophie doesn't protest as Lazarus kisses her. The kiss ends with Sophie taking back her book and walking away. No dialogue.)

When the action started to pick up (Chapter 17-18), it felt like the author had changed trajectory and the story becomes one in which Lazarus is exchanging "lessons" with Sophie.

There are a lot of gaps in the story and the author left many questions unanswered. The most glaring one is, Why did Sophie write that advertisement in the first place?

The author writes very well, her descriptions are picturesque and rich with metaphor but, rather than move the story forward, it stalls it. I think this story with a heroine who didn't live by the rules had enormous potential to be an interesting read and I wish the author was able to balance out all the elements to make it so.

Jayne Fresina's next book is The Wicked Wedding of Miss Ellie Vyne, which features Ellie, Sophie's dear friend. The book will be released in January 2013.

To find out more about Jayne Fresina and her books, visit her website.


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