Sexually assaulted at 14, UFC fighter Paige VanZant says telling her story is ‘liberating’

On Dec. 10, 2015, at UFC Fight Night 80, with blood running down her face, 5-foot-4 women's strawweight fighter Paige VanZant was forced to tap in the fifth round from a textbook choke by Rose Namajunas.

It was just one chapter in the life of the pro fighter, who now holds a 7-4 record, and hardly the toughest event the 24-year-old had to endure.


In her new book, "Rise: Surviving the Fight of My Life," VanZant recounts being gang-raped at a party when she was a 14-year-old freshman in high school after some boys got her drunk.

"They move me around," she wrote. "They change my position. I fail each time I try to resist, my limbs like wet cement on my body, my brain a heavy fog.

"I am awake and conscious, but my body feels dead. I know what is happening but can do nothing to stop it. I have no voice or choice but to submit and pray that it ends soon."

The Tribune caught up with VanZant over the phone after her book signing at the UFC Gym in the South Loop to discuss the state of women's MMA, fighting in cages, dancing with stars and how the revelation in her book has affected her. The following interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Has it been hard to see the rape you mentioned in your book be so widely discussed?

I definitely would feel that I had positive reasons to mention it. Actually, since the book was released I haven't been on social media at all. I'll just post things I want to post about my life, but I never look at what the other people are posting about me. I kind of stay off that because I know there's going to be reactions.

I (knew) this was going to be something that people talked about. I more so just wanted it to be something where I felt I had gotten my story out and that it was liberating for me, and however the world takes it is up to them.

How difficult was the aftermath of the rape for you?

The bullying was almost the worst part for me. Not having people be there for me, or almost feeling ostracized by women. They almost made it that much worse, and it made me feel that much more alone through everything.

So I hope that the book definitely reminds girls we need to be there for each other and stand up for each other. That it teaches them empathy to (other) children and youth, that they don't realize how somebody could be struggling and what somebody is going through and what war and battle they're facing.

They might say that one thing that pushes them over the edge. I think people just need to learn how to be there for each other.

Did you have suicidal thoughts from the bullying?

It was pretty bad. It's something that I feel like, on that subject, I said everything I wanted to say in the book and that's something that's one of those demons that I dealt with privately.

It really is true everyone is fighting their own battles and you never know how close somebody is to the edge and you really should just be nice to everybody because you might say that one thing that really pushes someone.


Did overcoming that traumatic event play a role in your becoming a cage fighter?

I guess so. For me, it's just ... fighting. I'm doing it because I love it. It wasn't to fight back, it wasn't to learn how to beat people up or anything like that.

It was mostly just because I found something I felt passionate about. I definitely believe that MMA gave me my confidence back and it made me a happy person again.

Did you take the loss to Rose Namajunas (now the UFC women's strawweight champion) hard at the time? Was it true you stayed in your hotel room for a few days after?

I wanted to. It was true. Losing on such a big stage and in that fashion, I was devastated. I take every loss very, very hard. I think all of us fighters do. We put our entire heart into what we do.

I wasn't going to take that loss and let it define me. I cried for a few hours, put my sunglasses on and went to my after-party because I'm obligated to show up.

When you sign a contract, you sign a contract to be there; I had to follow through with that commitment. I knew the loss was over when the fight was over and then I just need to get back to the drawing board and start over.

Were there positives to take away from the fight?

I was the main event in my second UFC fight, which was huge for me. And I see that as a win in and of itself. I may have lost the fight, but I feel like I won the war. I had so many people discover me and realize how tough I am and how much of a fighter I am.

It really was one of the fights that put me in deep waters and helped me realize how far I can go being in those deep waters, to pull through and make it all five rounds. It just showed me I was meant for this and I was meant to be a fighter.

Michelle Waterson, right, applies a choke hold to Paige VanZant during a UFC fight in Sacramento, Calif., in, 2016. Waterson won by submission in the first round.
Michelle Waterson, right, applies a choke hold to Paige VanZant during a UFC fight in Sacramento, Calif., in, 2016. Waterson won by submission in the first round. (Jeff Chiu / AP)

In general, do women in MMA feel they still have something to prove?

We fight emotionally, it's a battle. We put on really good fights because of that, because we fight emotionally and put our whole hearts on a stage.

That's why you're going to see a lot of really amazing fights from women. I've had a lot of coaches say women pick things up so much better. We're more in tune with our bodies and the way our bodies work and the way our bodies move. So we can pick things up a lot faster than the men can.

I've just heard from coaches that they love training women because things do come a little bit easier to us at times. I think we're going to continue to see women evolve and a lot more women come into the sport.

What do you say to people who don't want to see women fighting in MMA?

Then they just don't have to watch. Maybe it's not for them. There's certain sports that I don't really care to watch too. I think we do it because we love it and otherwise we wouldn't do it at all. And maybe people just don't understand the aspect and all the technique and the training, everything that goes (on) behind (the scenes).

Those people, they've probably never taken a boxing class, they've never taken a muay thai class. They don't realize how demanding it is. It's not just two people going out there and fighting. There's much more that goes into each fight.

Did you have to train and work harder to erase the misconception that you were just the pretty blonde?

I think I just train and work hard because of who I am. I went up and put on fights because I wanted to win. It had nothing to do with stigmas that I was facing.

I think no matter what you'll have those stereotypes that you just kind of fit into and people will always look at you that way, but I'm more worried about going out there and winning and putting on a good fight for myself more than proving anybody else wrong.

Chicago will have its first UFC pay-per-view card at UFC 225 (at the United Center on June 9) with two championship fights (middleweight title fight and welterweight interim title fight). How big of an event could that be?

It's huge, the fights that are coming to Chicago. It's an amazing card. I definitely hope to be at it because Chicago is one of my favorite cities ever. It's a bonus that there's some amazing fights on the card. I'm excited to see how it comes together and hope I can be there for it as well.


Does CM Punk have a chance to win his second MMA fight? (Punk is competing in UFC 225 in Chicago against Mike Jackson.)

I think anybody who steps into the cage has a chance to win. You're going to go out there and put up a fight no matter what. I think CM Punk is obviously very, very athletic. Being in (WWE) you have to be super athletic and have a set of skills.

He fought Mickey Gall (his first UFC opponent), who just had a little bit better set of skills. CM definitely seems like somebody who's not going to quit, so I would love to see him win. I would love to see him come out victorious.

Did Ronda Rousey and Miesha Tate leaving the UFC create opportunities for other women to become faces of the UFC?

I think that the opportunity was always there. I just think (Ronda and Miesha) were working hard and they were the (trailblazers) for us. They had been in the sport a lot longer than everybody and I would love to see Miesha and Ronda step back into the cage. They're still fighters.

I think the opportunity was always there for us. We just have to put in the work that they did. Hopefully we can be as successful as they were.

With the grueling training and matches in MMA, was competing on "Dancing with the Stars" (VanZant took second place in 2016) incredibly easy for you?

I would say the athletic part of "Dancing With the Stars" wasn't as difficult for me, but that show is very, very demanding mentally and physically, emotionally. ... It's a lot.

I loved every second of it and I would love to be a part of "Dancing with the Stars" in the future again if that opportunity ever came up. It was definitely a positive experience for me.

Scott King is a freelance writer.