Monday, 27 March 2017

I hate orcs

Orcs. I don't know why we call them a race. They are not. They are an invasive, destructive, alien species.

This species destroyed their own world. And when I say destroyed, I mean they blew it up into separate pieces, floating in the nether. This was all part of their attempt to destroy their civilized neighbours, the Draenei. And having almost wiped out the Draenei and destroyed their own world, they opened a portal into our world and they immediately tried to destroy us, too.

A Draenei spaceship escaped from their dying planet, and crash-landed on ours. The difference between their behaviour and the orcs was instructive. The Draenei tried to repair the damage their crashed spaceship caused, and tried to establish good relations with their Azerothean neighbours. Guess what the orcs did? Not hard, that one. They tried to kill everyone they met.

Today's orcs like to pretend that it was the 'old' orcs, the 'fel' orcs who were the problem. They were junkies, under the influence of drugs. Like heroin addicts, they destroyed every place they ever lived in, and threatened all their neighbours with their needles (and axes and blades). Heroin (like Mannoroth's blood) is a tough drug to get off. Imagine having to live next to them.

What weak-willed boredom led them to take it in the first place? Oh, Gul'dan. He said it would make them feel strong and great. It was his fault. Yeah. Blame the drug-pusher on your own problems. Like all drug addicts, it's never their fault. They blame everyone but themselves. Not their fault. Gul'dan made them do it. It's not like they had a choice. Oh, and Mannoroth and  Kil'jaedan, it was their fault, too. The orcs were just poor innocent victims. Oh, and Illidan and Magtheridon. Poor helpless orcs. Meanwhile the Draenei did not succumb. They fought on against countless enemies for what they knew was right. May the light be upon them forever.

Once the orcs had destroyed Draenor, They came through the Dark Portal to Azeroth. Did they come in peace? By the light, they did not. They tried to destroy this world, too. We humans are stern enemies, though, and we fought back to defend our world and our families from these orcs who were bent on terrorizing our world as they had terrorized Draenor.

Today's orcs are just the same as the fel orcs of their past. They carry on destroying whatever they meet, and never accept responsibility for their own actions. Under their leader Garrosh Hellscream, their horde invaded the mystical elven woods of Ashenvale, burning both the woods and the peaceful town of Astranaar. They gave the ancient holy places of Azshara to their goblin serfs to build a racetrack on (who they then got to destroy Theramore). And they invaded the newly-discovered isle of Pandaria, attempting to enthrall another race. Yeah. Real good neighbours.

Now we hear the same old story from the orcs. It wasn't us, it was Garrosh. He made us do it. The orcs of today are the same cruel, feckless, weak-willed thugs as they ever were, picking on whoever they think they can bully, Like the Draenei showed, and the humans confirmed, the best way to deal with orcs is to fight back.

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