Tips for Helping Slightly Overweight Child Be Healthier?

Updated on September 29, 2015
K.H. asks from Wellesley Hills, MA
13 answers

I have a child who is on the cusp of a weight problem but also happen to be writing an article about the topic of overweight prevention for Parents magazine. Wondering if you have had the experience of parenting a young child who was gaining just a little more weight than seemed healthy, and what you did to help prevent a larger issue in the future?

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So What Happened?

Thanks so much for the feedback, everyone. My child with a high normal BMI is 7. I am writing an article about the topic as well. Your insights are valuable for me personally, and also potentially for this piece. I'm interviewing some of the country's top experts in the field but also feel that perspective from real moms is always crucial, so have reached out to a couple for a more formal interview. Thanks you very much, once again.

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answers from New York on

My kid is neither overweight not underweight. Nonetheless we talk with him about the importance of eating healthy foods, getting enough exercise and keeping fit and strong. In the same breath we talk about how people come in different shapes and sizes and what is most important is to take the best care of the body you have.

I'd speak with her doctor or nutritionist before introducing changes to her diet and exercise. I would also retool the whole families regimen.

F. B.

1 mom found this helpful

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answers from Austin on

My personal approach has been to not view the heavily advertised items in the ways they're marketed. For example, if you're thirsty, the advertising world says to have a Coke or Pepsi. No. If you're thirsty, have water. The tv world says water is boring, and we need to add flavor or color to make it interesting. No. So many millions of children have no access to clean water and are dying of water-borne diseases. Plain, clean, clear water is a blessing. Sure, it's ok to put a lemon slice or berries in it, but no one needs purple fizzy water, except for at an occasional birthday party.

The world says breakfast should be comical and fun and entertaining, so we need cereal with shapes and candy in it. No. Breakfast should be fuel for the day: nutritional and full of protein, like eggs, whole grain toast, steel cut oats, fresh fruit, yogurt, etc. The world says we need yogurt with rainbow colors and candy to mix in it. No. Plain organic Greek yogurt with raw honey and fresh berries is a great alternative.

The advertising world says we need to get meals on the table with as little effort as possible, and heavily promotes canned doughs, instant soups, meals from boxes, frozen vegetables in salty sauces with artificial colors. No. We need to teach our children what fresh vegetables taste like, and how to make a real soup. We need to teach them how to make real food and spend that precious time together using real food to make real meals. The commercials show the family throwing together a few processed ingredients in the microwave, then sitting down to talk. Why don't we talk with our kids WHILE we're preparing a fresh salad, grating real cheese, slicing vegetables, taking time to taste and learn about ingredients. Even the littlest kids can tear lettuce leaves and wash cherry tomatoes. Those cooking experiments can be a wonderful family time, and the kids will learn valuable life lessons.

We must teach our kids to read labels, to understand artificial sweeteners and processed additives, and to make good decisions about their meals, snacks, and beverages.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

i had this issue, and i'm not sure my 'solutions' were great. i know i went overboard in the 'you're just great! you look just fine! you're perfect just as you are!' direction, because i could see the disappointment in his eyes when i enthused. he came to me for honesty and help, and i blew hot air.
and i could see it. and hated myself for it. and died a little inside every time i could hear the parents at the baseball field hooting and jeering when he chugged around the bases (they were way meaner than the other kids), or watched him hesitate between just going out for a swim in his trunks or putting on a (big loose) t-shirt to cover his tummy, or wrestle miserably over how badly he wanted another cupcake at a holiday party.
i'm welling up sitting here remembering it. damn. my poor little guy.
he was born overweight, and it was my fault. i ate like a beluga during my pregnancy and got huge. he stayed overweight until puberty. and then HE took charge of it. bless his fierce, dauntless will.
when he was about 12 or so we did a nutrition unit study in our homeschool. nothing specifically focused on weight, just overall how food works, how it's assimilated, the effects of time and combination and quantity. i can't say for sure, but i THINK that's what finally kicked it off. he never quit eating treats (and we never really banished treats from the house, although we did cut back on the type, quantity and availability when the boys were younger), and he never went on a diet. he did start making better choices, and working out a lot more.
now he's lean and buff and beautiful, and incidentally a science major.
he still does struggle to be moderate when it comes to treats. it'll probably be something he has to keep an eye on throughout his life.
probably didn't help either that i've always moaned and whined and wrung my hands over my own weight, and predictably i look back at myself now from my 50s and my 40 extra pounds and think how good i looked back then.
on the one hand i wish we would have helped him even more. maybe NO sugary snacks or processed foods would have been better (although with our schedules and budgets then, cooking everything from fresh foods and scratch would have been impossible.) we probably should have made our entire family's diets more healthy. or maybe that would just have made the forbidden foods more seductive.
no point in regrets. we did the best we could at the time, and it all worked out okay. but i'd rip my heart out of my chest to have figured out some way of sparing him the shame that being the fat kid brought him.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Williamsport on

What we do in our house is keep dialogue going about what types of foods are good for what, and what types of foods are bad. I'll be like, "Oooh, here, eat this for beautiful skin/good eyes/strong heart.." I don't ban any foods, but I make sure to say out loud, "Well, we had pizza and cake yesterday at a party so we're eating healthy food today." And "No, no more sugar today (seems like sugary food flies at them from everywhere whenever we leave the house), you can have water instead of juice." And "Oh my, he looks like he eats a LOT of vegetables!!" if the kids point out healthy, lean athletes and such. I model healthy eating and keep enthusiastic about the topic when they discuss what they learn about food in school. I don't complain about my own weight, but I often say, "Welp, Im getting a belly so I'm going on a walk/jog tonight!" And I keep active and encourage them to be as well. They've grown from birth seeing me doing DVDs or going to gyms or teaching Zumba or whatever Im doing at any given time. I might say, "I was lazy for weeks, so now I have to get back in shape!" just so they are aware that it takes awareness...My mom was physically fit and a good role model and it made a big impact on me.

Mine are still all under age 10, so they don't have their own self control yet about food, and I would never point out weight gain (my son is built like a tank and tends to bulk up quickly) but at this point I'll secretly modify diets and increase their exercise when needed. They know sodas are NEVER allowed unless it's a rare treat or celebration. There are many foods they see their friends eating they know I would never buy, but I'm not militant in what they can do in other houses. But still I must say, it' not EASY!!! My kids somehow HATE vegetables so it's a battle all the time (and I never back down, thus all the discussions about which foods are good and bad) which will hopefully pay off one day!

It's when kids are older that they act on what they know, so you want the relationship between food and exercise and health solidified as much as possible through dialogue and home habits in early years.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Santa Fe on

I would recommend eating fresh foods. Shop around the edges of the grocery store and avoid the boxed stuff. Make homemade bars for a snack. Eat fruit. Eat nuts. Eat plenty of veggies. Make your meals and snacks yourself out of fresh ingredients. The other thing I would recommend is to take a family walk or bike ride after dinner. On weekends do something active with your child. Rent a canoe and go paddling. Play tennis together. Take a hike. Train together and do a kid's run/race. Go swimming. Go shoot hoops or play catch. Get outside every day of you can. Make physical activity a normal part of your family life. And don't worry so much if your child is a little overweight. Just keep providing healthy and homemade foods and do fun active things with them and love them just the way they are. Have a healthy life style and don't focus on how your child looks but who they are inside.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Wausau on

The best way to have a child lead a healthier lifestyle is to have the whole family lead a healthier lifestyle. This keeps the focus off an individual and sets an example. If applicable:

Instead of telling a kid that he can't have the potato chips he sees on the counter, don't bring the chips home at all unless it is a treat for the whole household. Junk shouldn't be routine for anyone, even if you're not overweight.

Make family mealtime healthier by using more whole foods and fewer processed convenience foods. This does require time and pre-planning.

A simple household rule that can help with general consumption is that (typically) all eating happens at the table or in the kitchen. People tend to eat more if they are watching tv, using a device or computer, or even reading a book. Paying attention to your food helps trigger the 'done' feeling.

Instead of pushing a kid to be more active in solo ways, add more healthy activities and a family and everyone benefits. Go for a walk after dinner in the evenings, ride bikes together, join a YMCA and go a couple times per week as a family to swim or participate in other classes even if you don't all choose the same thing.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

First, I would encourage you to communicate with your pediatrician and look at weight patterns over time. My son is slightly overweight for his age at the moment according to the standard scale at 65/85. But when I look at his weight over his life, there is a clear pattern of increasing and decreasing weight ratios. His natural pattern is to gain some weight then quickly increase in height. So this particular weight gain is fine, even necessary for his growth. But because of the hyper focus on kids being overweight, he has started coming home saying that he is "fat.". To be honest, this really pisses me off. I had an eating disorder in high school and still struggle occasionally. I will do what I can to give my son a healthy body image, but it is hard when the media is shoving this notion of "you are a fat disgusting slob" down the throat of elementary kids.

I think you set up your household for success. Be active every day. We have "dessert nights" on the weekends, during the week there are no sweets except holidays/birthdays. We have juice with breakfast, milk with dinner, and water for the rest of the day. We are also vegetarian, so we don't do most fast foods by default. My kids started in a preschool that did not allow treats in lunches or any drinks other than water or milk, so we just continued that. But I think the most important thing to realize is that if you are making appropriate choices in diet and exercise and your kid has a natural pattern of gaining and growing, don't freak out and send him or her to the fat farm! We are people, not machines, and we don't all fit on perfect growth curves. Those charts are just guidelines. Keep open communication with your pediatrician and keep an eye on things, but don't go right to feeding your kid nothing but celery and doing forced marches at high noon. Oh, and throw out your scale. That has no information about how healthy you are.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Amarillo on

You don't say how old your child is. My son would add on weight just before he would shoot up in height. There would be this pudgy belly and then it would be gone and he would be three to four inches taller.

I made all the meals when they were little and didn't work. There were cakes, cookies, biscuits, fresh made bread twice a week and fresh meals at diner. The leftovers were eaten the next day for lunch. Fast food places were not around when my kids grew up. If we went to McDonalds it was a real treat and it took about 30 minutes to get to one if we were lucky.

Just try to keep fresh foods available and have them help you with meal prep and setting the table. They learn by example and it carries on into their adult lives. Many times I get calls from them asking me for recipes of foods they had as children.

Don't be like my aunt that I lived with who harped on the fact that I seemed fat and overweight. Sometimes that is more of a negative than a positive when you are growing up in your teen years. After I left her home and was married, my skin cleared up and I lost weight. Do include some form of exercise for all to do and to it regularly. Show them the way and they will follow. They may fall off the track a bit but they will get back up and get back on it.

I hope I have given some insight. We do the best we can with what we got.
Have a great day.

the other S.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Lakeland on

There are some people that will always be heavier than others no matter what they eat or how they exercise.

Eating healthy and getting exercise is always the best and finding fun ways to do it with kids is important. Everyone's weight goes up and down especially when you are a growing child. I feel like weight now for kids has become such a big issue, not just for heavy kids but the skinny ones too. It is better to focus on a healthy lifestyle then what size or shape your body is.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Portland on

When my grandson was preteen I was concerned that he was too chubby. He was wearing a waist size 36. He's now 12 and slim; wears a 28-29. He grew in height, stretched out he's no longer chubby.

You don't give your son's age. If he's a preteen or teen he is likely to thin out as he grows taller. If he's reached his height and is chubby, he needs to be the one deciding if he wants to lose weight.

I looked at your profile. I suggest you're looking for information that you or your son will include in an article. I am feeling irritated because you are using moms to get information without being honest about your use of the information.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

I cut out caloric drinks and only offer water and milk. We do have mineral water all the time which the kids love because it's bubbly. That's what our pediatrician recommended as an easy life style modifier for our daughter that was borderline on her BMI. It was next to no effort and very effective.


answers from Chicago on

I have 3 kids. My oldest is 13 and she is the only one with a slight weight problem. I try to not keep junk food in the house, but I don't ban things completely. Occasional treats are part of the fun of childhood. If I do buy cookies. I limit her (and my other kids) to a serving size. I've taught her to read labels and check for serving sizes, fat grams, sugar grams and calories. I encourage exercise and sign her up for sports at school and the park district.



answers from Los Angeles on

Model by example.
Cook healthy meals. Meatless meals, substitute ground beef w/ground turkey, try veggie stir fry.
Eat a lot of veggies.
Have fresh veggies cut up & ready to grab. Have some Ranch nearby.
Make banana smoothies w/a touch of sugar & lots of cinnamon. Tasty.
Make strawberry & pineapple smoothies.
Rice, grilled chicken & stirfry veggies.
Turkey lunchmeat for sandwiches.
Don't eat out at fast food.
Once a week, cook a small piece of lean steak w/corn & salad.
Learn how to make different salads.
Cook fish.

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