How many of us do sit in a circle of friends or colleagues having a real conversation but feel that they are not really listening? Sounds familiar?

These days, when many of our networks are just a screen away, it can be unavoidable. We are often drawn by demanding attentions or demanding life style (read: to keep being updated by checking on our social media constantly or replying messages from others) keeping us ‘busy’. But we can choose not to ignore the persons we are talking with, right? Yes! Why? Because listening is a hard skill! Not everyone can master it fast. Make sure you can.

It takes a lot of effort and concentration to be an active listener. Once we can master it, we will become a great companion in a conversation.

What about you? Can you?

To listen is to make a connection. There is a response by doing it. It involves a focus on feelings, helping the other person understand whether the message conveyed clearly understood or not. It can give a powerful effect though the response is simply non verbal communication like facial expression. Better if the verbal communication follows too, like making a question that invites explanations.

Let’s imagine a situation where you can listen, understand the message, then make responses. Now, do the opposite. Put yourself in the speaker’s shoe seeing the others listening actively while you are talking. Would you feel connected? I am sure you would.

Your facial expressions; the lines you make on your face, the sparks in your eyes, the moving eye brows, and the sound coming out from your mouth play a part in giving messages that you are actively listening. It shows emotion. Emotions are made up of thoughts, behaviours and feelings. This is why active listening is so powerful. It encourages further communication.

Improve the quality of your responses. Better listening, better responses. Be more thoughtful communicator. Do right things to help the other person to express him or herself. Focus, so, you can understand what the other person is saying by making right questions, agreeing or disagreeing, giving a comment or more. You will eventually be able to build your strategy in non verbal and verbal responses.

Remember that the goal is for you to ‘involve’ in the talk, to listen as if you were going to reflect back. Be active in the process you participate. Own it.

After my dinner