Spinning and Winning Strategies

At first, I wasn’t going to address this issue, be gracious in victory and all that, but now that the apologists, toadies, flunkies and sycophants have begun declaring there were multiple mysterious forces at work to deprive the President of his victory, I’m mad.

One day after the debate thumping, the president was out in Virginia declaring that a “different Mitt Romney” was at the debates.

Today, there are conspiracy theories about altitude sickness and secret tissue cheat sheets, the need for the President to appear non threatening and code words for racism when Romney called out the President for repeating claims that were untrue.

So as I understand it, the reason the President lost isn’t the facts (his record), isn’t he looked tired, isn’t he didn’t respond to questions and grew combative even with the moderator, but that Romney has an evil twin who sports a magic handkerchief.

Seriously?  Theoretically, satire of the existing administration was supposed to be hard.   So what really caused the reality of the debate night?  Potluck has uncovered possible theories.

10) Vegas.

9) It was a “drag” preparing.

8) Distracted by derailed elaborate plans for wedding anniversary, Michelle disapproved of the menu.

7) Maybe Michael Moore is right about John Kerry.

6) Was up all night following the FBI examinations of Libyan embassy ruins.

5) Jim Lehrer Jedi Mind tricks didn’t work.

4) I was told he was a robot.   My people said he was a stupid robot.  I would have cleaned the clock of a stupid robot.

3) Still jazzed from that party with JayZ.

2) You don’t understand, it isn’t supposed to be fair. It’s supposed to be fair in my favor.

1) I didn’t lose. Everyone I’ve talked to has said I dominated the air and it’s all over.