How to Handle a Bully Boss + More


What to do when you realize your brand new boss is a bully.

Stop, drop, and roll. Oh, wait, that's what to do when you're on fire. But you may feel like you are a burning ball of flames when you've just been called out in a meeting as if your comment was the stupidest one she'd heard all day. Mumble the expletives only in your head, please.

Then, realize that the only way to win this one is to go neutral. Let's face the facts: she's never going to let you be right, praise you in front of others (or in private), and y'all won't be having after work drinks. Your best bet is to get really clear on your boundaries and values, then hold them up with all your might while you quietly look for a new job.

How to ease into that new job that three sizes too big.

Break it into bite size pieces. Schedule a meeting with your manager and divide your new responsibilities into quarterly priorities. Create a plan to master and sustain one set of priorities in each quarter. If  you stick with the program, the end of the year should have you sitting pretty for your performance review.

How to solve 90% of all your problems.

Focus on yourself. Quit trying to make other people do, act, and say the things that you think they should. Take all that energy you're expending on them and make something pretty awesome happen in your life. You know, all those "one day" plans? Make one happen.

Is that a "burnout" or "get out" feeling you're having towards your J-O-B?

The best way to really know the difference is to take a stay-cation. Schedule a week off and follow a fairly structured plan to do all the things you are telling yourself you'd do if only you could quit your job, such as writing a novel, practicing yoga for 2 hours every morning, or starting a business selling your grandmas homemade pies. Check in at day two of your stay-cation, did you start writing yet? Are you actually practicing yoga? Make any pies or crank out a business plan? If not, just enjoy the rest of your week doing whatever you need to do to get over your bad case of burnout. Then, head back to work with a fresh perspective.

How to conquer those mid-afternoon "I-don't-wanna-do-anything-else" moments. 

Make a list of all the things you have to do and separate the ones that take real thought power from the ones that could probably be done by your pet monkey, if you had one. Draw a line under the first seven monkey-list tasks. Set your old faithful time for 30 minutes and GO. If you finish before the timer goes off, do not go to #8. Take your prize of the minutes you have left and eat a banana (or perhaps, a chocolate martini).

This post catpures the essence of lessons learned in coaching sessions. If you're interested in coaching, send me a quick email and let's connect: