Wednesday, January 28, 2015

A quick one

Been up since 3:15 this morning and I'm actually doing well. Besides the whole hellish aspect of being up at such an ungodly hour with no way to turn off your brain or your baby (always on at separate moments, of course) there was a bit that got done earlier in the day that would have normally waited until now. So that's not bad.

Morningtime: I get Barrett up out of his crib silently, so as not to wake Will, and Barrett is so beside himself with excitement to be up that he leans back his head and screeches with ecstasy. Wouldn't the world be such a brighter place if God let us all wake up that way?

Lunchtime, feeding the boys soup:
Me: "A bite for Barrett, a bite for Will!"
Will: "I like bites!"

Naptime, tucking the blankets around Will in their chilly room:
Will: "I'm 'nug an' cozy."

Tuesday, January 27, 2015


I noticed tonight that Will's stopped calling, "Bye, Daddy!" on his way up the stairs to bed. It's been his thing for so long, but the past week or so he's instead been very focused on how he's climbing up the stairs: first grabbing each spindle, then switching to the railing, grabbing here and there, just so, and narrating the whole way. Tonight he told me they were 'steps to the train'.

We've left the tractor phase behind, I believe. He still gets quite a kick out of seeing them here and there, but his Duplo tractor has been left behind in the bin as he takes his Duplo train engine to bed with him each night. A recent book favorite is Trains by Lynn Curlee, and though the text is meant for a much older reader, we look at the illustrations and talk about them. At certain pages he says, "Wooooow, look at that," in a very "politely impressed" way, and I can only assume he's imitating my tone. That's the only way I can describe it. It's hilarious and endearing.

He asks for "breakfast", no matter what time of day it is.

Lately he's been showing perception regarding when people or things are hurt or sad. He looks at the train book and tells me that the Indian is sad, or the train is sad that it got into an accident. He calls to me when Barrett bumps his head or cries for some reason. He was very interested in me being sick yesterday and sleeping on the couch, and kept saying the he was sorry that he sneezed and woke me up. When we went to Home Depot and they were (come on!) not displaying their ride-on mowers, he was very sad. I told him I was sorry that there were no tractors at the store, and for the next three days he said, "Mom, I'm sorry there were no tractors at the store."

He calls me "mom"! Come on, dude!

Barrett loves to imitate us. He loves to play peekaboo, LOVES the bath, and loves to clap to music. He is more interested in feeding himself than in being spoon-fed, but won't eat eggs or date bars, so I'm a little stymied. It may be time for some tough love here soon - meaning, if you don't eat what I give you, then you don't eat! I don't want to do that but I might just have to. He seems to want to eat whatever Will is eating, so at least he gets some good veggies.

He's such an easy-going little guy. He just has the biggest smile! He likes raiding the instrument box, finding the kazoo, and crawling around blowing into it. During family worship he sits in his high chair (sans tray), scooted right up to the upper registers of the piano, and bangs his heart out while we sing. Tonight he was getting his hands way up high over his head before bringing them down with an enormous crash.

I've had some success lately, when I'm changing Barrett's diaper, in putting his feet in some warm water and having him go pee. At least I can stretch a little longer between diaper changes, and he's stopped wetting through his pajamas at night. I hope it will give me a leg up in potty training down the road, but so far no luck in catching poop so we'll see. Will's still doing great, though I've started putting a diaper on his during naps again because he's had a few naptime accidents. Once I said, "Oh no... you're all covered in pee." From then on he liked to greet me after naps with, "Mom, I'm all covered in pee." Once he actually WAS, so I take him seriously.

Feeding Barrett a bottle is one of the sweetest parts of the day. He curls up in my arms, smiles at me, and offers me a drink, saying, "Na na na." (imitating me saying "num num num") I've decided to wean him off bottles around a year, and start transitioning to a sippie cup, and it makes me sad to think of that coming to an end.

Barrett's got four fat teeth on top, two on bottom, and cutting two more bottoms.  I dress him in multiple, multiple layers of clothes (our house is cold, propane is expensive) and he looks so fat and edible I can hardly stand it.

Today I played with the boys for a long time. On of the favorite games was holding a stuffed bunny from Chris, Fadwa, Grace, and Elizabeth, and making him sing, "A carrot for Barrett, a carrot for Will!" and tossing the bunny at Will. Loads and loads of laughter. We must have sung it fifty times. Then Will sang, "A carrot for Barrett, a carrot for MOM!" and tossed it at me. I was so excited to hear him sing.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015


After three trips to the bathroom in 90 minutes post-bedtime (even after peeing immediately before bed), I've decided Will can never again eat almost an entire carton of grape tomatoes ("ma-matoes") as a bedtime snack. I was excited for him to be eating something healthy and it was so cute watching him pick them out that I didn't weigh the gastric effects as heavily as I should have. He'd pick one up and say, "There's a good one," or, "That's not a good one." After I while I discovered he likes them to be very firm. Gotcha, kid. I'm the same way.

Will has been stuttering a bit lately as he tries to say his phrases the right way. I could tell he was thinking about how to tell Daddy, "I played in the sand today and I dug a hole." It took him a little bit but he got it out perfectly. I am a grammar sucker and it's really nice to see my efforts having an effect.

It occurred to me that the majority of the last several months have not involved regular family worship. I've been so unfaithful with it and my mentality has been, "Okay, so we miss another night... what's ONE night?" And my late realization was that ONE night adds up to a lifetime. My new goal is not to have a perfect track record, but every morning and night we offer a sacrifice of praise is a tally on the right side of the page, and that will add up over time.

Barrett is such a meatball. The boys got haircuts a couple days ago and his is a bit short on the sides and longer on the top. It makes him look kind of like a meathead tough guy and with his fat teeth he is simply edible. He's been refusing many forms of protein lately so getting him to eat cottage cheese today was a good victory.

Tomorrow is my mother-in-law's birthday, and I am so thankful for her. I want to be like her in so many ways, specifically how she hosts people and makes them feel completely at home. She is very gracious and pours out constantly. I want to be more that way.

Monday, January 19, 2015


Frequently Will likes to grab a random object that strikes him as a power tool (wooden spoon, Duplo gas hose, etc), and put on his imaginary ear plugs, hardhat, and boots. "Quink, quink," go the earplugs. "Cush, cush," go the boots and hardhat. Then he gets to work. I need to be reminding him of protective eyewear, I guess.

Made a fort after nap and the two boys sat in there with a bowl of green beans, munching away. Every so often Will would call, "I gave Barrett a green bean!" Periodically Barrett would crawl out and flash me a huge grin before retreating inside. For a rare moment I felt no mom guilt. They were playing nicely, eating something green, and happy.

Will wanted to ride his tractor in the basement but kept climbing off and telling me, "I'm sad on my tractor." I felt blue, too. So often my default is to make myself feel better with a cup of coffee and some happy music, but I couldn't have the coffee and I was wanting food. "Mommy's feeling sad too, buddy." I told him to sit in my lap and we prayed. Then I thought, send Judah first. And then I sang that song, over and over and over per Will's request, as he drove his tractor in circles and rode Barrett in the trailer, me walking slowly behind. And it worked. Now he wants to do it all day. :)

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Happy New Year!

I want to blog. I really, really do. So many times I'm *this close* to sitting down and doing it when one of a thousand things happens and I'm putting it off again.

-Has a heart-breaking and sometimes irritating habit of saying "I'm sorry." He says it so sincerely and sweetly. Sometimes he says it after he asks for something and I tell him, "Hang on a second, buddy." "Okay. I'm sorry, Mommy." That's when it's heartbreaking. Sometimes he says it after he's purposely gone and done something he 100% knows he's not supposed to do, or after he's just flown in the face of something I've asked him to do. "I'm sorry, mommy." That's when it's irritating, because I'm 75% sure he's figured out that it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission. My smart little guy.
-Is getting more picky lately! Recently gagged-on foods have been peanut-butter banana and applesauce. I always swore I'd never have picky eaters and yesterday (Saturday) I left the house in tears for an emergency walk (to avoid losing it) because I'd just made two dozen sausage egg muffins (which smelled SUPER incredible, tasted great (according to Brian) and which I'm currently not eating because I'm on a cleanse) and both my kids didn't like them.
-Is getting so good at playing imaginatively by himself! His imagination is growing every day. For about six weeks there I was only allowed to be Wendy from Bob the Builder but that's let up. Now Will only occasionally asks to talk to Wendy.
-Is officially in a big boy bed! We transitioned him this month with NO problems! My naturally timid and cautious guy was excited to climb up for bed and nap into his big boy bed. He thinks it's a train, and yells "ALL ABOARD!" when he's getting in. Barrett is now in the crib and thankfully, our long search for bunk beds is over.
-Slipped and fell the other day and was crying on my lap. Barrett crawled over and peered curiously into Will's face when Will pushed his head away with one finger and said, "BARRETT, I'm trying to cry." Ha! He was scolded but that was pretty funny.
-Likes to ask us out of the blue, "Daddy/Mommy, how was your day?"
-Is lately obsessed with Bob and Larry (Veggie Tales). BtB may be a thing of the past! I love and loathe when phases come to an end.
-Loves to kiss Barrett on the head and is usually very kind to him, but is frustrated when Barrett crawls onto the scene and trashes his setup. Who wouldn't be? I'm sure it won't be too long before Barrett can play too, and they're buddies warding off child #3 (whenever he or she may come along).

-Is eleven months old!
-Is just the happiest little guy in the world... at least with me. For some reason I seem to be just the thing at all times of the day. He'll play happily and then come to me for a quick hug or a cuddle or a diaper change. He likes to ride on my back, which has come in handy a TON lately as he's kind of been a bit clingy. He definitely seems to be a momma's boy, but I don't blame him. I'm the one who just knows when he's hungry, tired, poopy, or teething.
-Always seems to have one cheek a little redder than the other when he's teething.
-Has a very unpleasant habit of biting when he's teething. He'll crawl up to me, climb up onto my pants legs, and then sink his teeth in. He'll do it to my shoulder, too, just to tell me he's happy that I'm holding him.
-I look at Barrett so often and just can't believe how beautiful he is. I can't believe how different than Will he looks and yet he's so equally cute. I feel like I find more joy in admiring him at this age than I did with Will, and that makes me sad. I think I was too stressed about Will's new stages and how I was adapting to them, feeling like I was never doing enough. I don't feel as much guilt with Barrett and I think I'm able to enjoy him more.
-Is rather a picky eater himself and I'm hoping it's something that he grows out of. Will did (until now!) so I'll bide my time.
-Is constantly talking, and it's adorable. Loud yells, quiet babbles, different sounds.
-Loves the motion of taking something out of a container and putting it back in.
-Is obsessed with our Tegu block wheels. When they're out, he'll crawl around the house with a wheel in each hand and will happily stick and unstick them for quite a while.
-Has been completely weaned since December 6. I needed to stop nursing him and it turns out that was a wonderful move. He has thrived on formula in a way he was not on my milk. I'm not sure if my pursuit of losing weight caused my milk to suffer, but after doing a very low-carb stint in the summer it just never seemed to come back quite the same. I also found he was spitting up only my milk, but never the formula. When I'd thaw my frozen stash, it would smell sour right away. I wish I could have kept nursing just for the comfort and bonding, but I had to quit because of LASIK (see below). With my next baby (Lord willing) things will be different.

Maegan and Brian:
-Are planning a couple huge projects over the next couple months. Many of the rooms on our first floor are plastered to appear old, and we love the look. The big living area, though, that includes the kitchen, dining room, living room, and hallway, are plain drywall, so Brian's going to be plastering and glazing those starting February 1st. THEN he's going to tackle refinishing the entire first floor floors. All of them. Every room on the first floor is wide-plank pine floors that were finished in a walnut-colored stain, and they look terrible. The stain's coming off everywhere (since pine is so soft, it makes sense) and we want just the natural color floors. That's going to be an enormous job. How am I going to help? Stay out of the way, move furniture, and have a good attitude when my house is torn up for two months. I may be making some trips to visit family and friends.
-I got LASIK surgery on the 16th (last Friday)!!! Twenty-four hours later and I felt like I was wearing my contacts (except a bit more blurry). Last night I fell asleep watching a movie and it was OKAY! No contacts to worry about! This morning I woke up and it was clear! No glasses to put on! Dr. Weingarten in Rochester Hills (Rochester Eye Care) was great and highly recommended. He said my vision will continue to improve over the next few weeks as my eyes heal, but already I'm so happy with the results. What a blessing!
-I am toward the end of a ten-day liquid fast (on Day 7) and starting a Whole30 on Thursday. I started out with three days of water fasting and then began drinking vegetable juice three or four times a day. This has been difficult. Every night I tell Brian, "Make me stop this fast. Don't make me stop this fast." I am doing it to seek the Lord but hoping the spiritual insights will come later because I'm having trouble not thinking about FOOD. I've started Whole30s before and have given up quickly but I'm trusting that my current mindset (eager to eat anything) will help me hit the ground running. Last year while nursing I read Fasting by Jentezen Franklin and was encouraged to start the new year out with a 40 day fast, so the ten days plus the Whole30 will be that for me.

I'm hoping to be blogging more, even just doing the "Today" blogs on my phone. The kids are going through so many little phases and stints and they're gone as quickly as they came. I want to cherish this time of life but GOLLY it's been very busy lately and will continue to be so as Brian works on the house. Suffice it to say, I am loving this life and dealing with the constant mom-guilt of not being superwoman and enjoying not being pregnant or nursing and at the moment, I'm just hungry. Carrot juice is the bomb.