Remember, Remember

Me: I woke up this morning to find Dave staring at me.

Nell: David was checking you were breathing.

Me: Why?

Nell: I would have thought it was obvious.

Me: Not really.

Nell: Fear of abandonment.

Me: Rubbish. He was probably hungry.

Nell: That too, and he’s excited about this evening.

Me: Is that why you are all walking around in feathered hats and long boots?

Nell: Yes. It’s Guy Fawkes night.

“Remember, Remember

The Fifth of November

Wolfhound, Bichon and Spot.

We see no reason

Why Wolfhound and Bichon

Should ever be forgot.”

Me: I don’t think that’s quite right.

Nell: Of course it is.

Me: Who is Spot?

Nell: Spot is a treacherous Dalmatian who plotted to blow up the House of Dogs. Do keep up.

Me: Who were Wolfhound and Bichon?

Nell: Spot’s accomplices.

Me: Why do we have to remember them?

Nell: Because they are an example of how not to behave. A dog is not a sheep. We shouldn’t blindly follow the herd.

Me: So where does Guy Fawkes come into it?

Nell: We often wonder that ourselves. Anyway, there will be hot dogs, burgers and buns for everyone this evening around the fire.

Me: Lovely.

Nell: There will also be a reenactment.

Me: Gosh.

Nell: David is playing Wolfhound. Gladys is Bichon and Dominic Simmons is Spot.

Me: Dominic Simmons is a cat and you don’t like him.

Nell: Exactly. He didn’t want to, of course, but when we explained the burning was just symbolic and Malcolm would make him a fish finger sandwich, he agreed.

Me: He isn’t spotty.

Nell: He will be. Now we have a lot to do. Harriet is the narrator as she needs to rest her leg and she thought you might help her write something.

Me: Of course.

Nell: Not too fanciful please. Stick to the story. I know what you’re like.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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