The Five Best Careers For Aspiring Evildoers

The Five Best Careers for Aspiring Evildoers


Picking a career you actually like is all about figuring out what you really want, but it's also about figuring out where you'll fit in best. Of course, evildoers have trouble fitting in everywhere, so finding a workplace that's really a solid fit for you, your personality and your educational background can be really difficult. Fortunately, it's not impossible.

(Mad) Scientist






Locksmiths are typically reputable people, but the potential for evil is pretty great. What's better is that you don't even really need to become a locksmith to know how to pick a lock, you can learn in your spare time. Heck, we've even shown you how to crack locks. Once you're in, you'll have access to people's belongings everywhere. It's pretty evil, but you'll get on the job training to becoming a master villain in no time.

Programmer (or Hacker)



Used Car Salesman


The good news is that if you're interested in being a used car salesman, you're not going to need too much training. You'll need some practice to get good at it, but you won't need to pay any money. We've shown you simple tricks to get what you want, guided you through how the best influencers out there get everything and plenty of other tips.



Investment bankers and traders are some of the most powerful people in the world. That's partially because they tend to have a lot of money, but more importantly they control the flow of money. For better or worse, this gives them a lot of power.

For evildoers, this is a pretty big carrot at the end of the stick of an MBA program. But you don't necessarily even have to go that far. There are a lot of ways you can get started investing on your own. That could mean learning from millionaires. Once you start your career as a regular old investor, you'll have plenty of time and money to switch over to more evil plans. We assume that means buying up stock in the Acme Corporation or Death Rays.



    You forgot executioner. Obviously a perfect job for a would-be murderer. There was an article with a vid over at yesterday. (Yes. I hate myself for reading too. It's become like reading a trashy tabloid.)

    One executioner loved drowning and strangling cats as a child. He sounds like an upstanding kind of guy.

      In hindsight, there's probably not going to be a lot of jobs in Australia for this employment sector. It's more of a travel opportunity.

      So I'm not the only one to notice how much worse has become. It's never been that good, but it is getting pretty crappy even by their standards. Me thinks they've taken to hiring rejects from other, more reputable news sites. /rant

    Politician, now there is scope for evil.

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