drama triangulation





from notes on Dharma at the Edge, Fleet Maull










Thank you for practising,


5 thoughts on “drama triangulation

  1. This tiresome circle of vitim, rescuer and agressor (passive -agressor at times). Playing out the fear when the smoke is in my eyes. tearing them up so I cannot see…
    bearing witness takes me out of myself so that I can sit with not knowing before taking action or no action. I fall into the trap of wanting to do.. so that I feel not my own suffering.
    learning to listen more without knowing… is a skillfull means

  2. what a helpful and info packed post. yes I know the roles of rescuer and victim well. I recently attended a workshop where some uncomfortable things were said to myself and others (meant to be helpful but not because it immediately plunged us into the role of victim, taking away our sense of how we might rectify our suggested “problem”). I love this skillful means triangle. I think what was missing was some guiding in the incident.

  3. Thank you for this rich, deep post. I can hardly absorb it, but I noted that I responded to “radical responsibility” as a way of relating successfully in any situation.

    My own understanding of this responsibility is fairly simple, but perhaps useful: I can only relate successfully to someone who is occupying some role (victim, aggressor, etc.), when I have “seen through” the ways in which I occupy that role.

    That is, the suffering of others only become truly clear when I have perceived directly my own similar suffering.

    I can recognize paranoia in someone else only to the extent that I can recognize it in myself. I can recognize empty authority in someone else only when I have seen through my own feeble attempts at acting with authority.

    So, yes: When I can see someone’s “true intention” (which can only occur when I can seem my own “true intention”), then I might be able to respond appropriately.

    What an appropriate response might be . . . well, that’s an interesting topic. How do we tell a victim to “knock it off” without plunging them more deeply into their victimhood?

  4. Hi Genju,
    Just read this again. A bit more sunk in. Whatever amount makes its way in to this heart this:
    is really how I want to live. I look forward to combining your skillfull advice with whatever space of not-knowing I can muster. Thank you for these inciteful posts.

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