What’s With My Journey Of Faith?….

In His hands He got the whole world on a globe


Friday, January 12, 2018 at 12:40 pm.

O my Father? You know that just about this hour, a certain heaviness begins over my mind and body. Perhaps the cause for this heaviness is merely physical, but! It’s not a good thing regardless.

Sometimes? Sleep takes over. I go to bed. Wake up a couple hours later, but! Many times? I wake up just as heavy as I was before I went to sleep.

Then, for the most and here lately? After 3 or 4 hours of sleep, I wake up feeling great. Father? You did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother’s womb


My frame was not hidden from You when I was being formed in secret, and intricately and curiously wrought, as if embroidered with various colors in the depths of the earth a region of darkness and mystery.


How precious and weighty also are Your thoughts to me, O my Father! How vast is the sum of them!

If I could count them, they would be more in number than the sand. When I awoke, could I count to the end? I would still be with You.

What a mystery we are. Each one of us, individually, are a mystery. Even so, You are now revealing the mystery of our birth and existence on these earthly grounds. I will now try to sleep. 1:07 pm.

Been up for about an hour. It’s 4:00 pm. Little by little I am sorting out what foods cause me a reaction and how to enjoy those foods, and? Avoid the reaction.

Nothing. Another Day of Silence. My feet are hurting. O my Father? I’m down again, to lose that kind of money? I can’t take it, my Father, but! I refuse to doubt You. You will answer me.

Only? I can’t face Joyce until You turn things in my favor. I refuse to worry about what is to happen should You not intervene. I’ll go to bed. Hopefully I get to sleep. It’s 9:00 pm.

Saturday, January 13, 2018 at 12:14 am.

HELP ME, my Father, HELP ME! Where are You? I need You. Why have You forsaken me? Been crying for help now for days, why are You silent?

Why Have You Forsaken Me?

Psalms 22:1-31

MY FATHER, my Father, why have You forsaken me? Why are You so far from helping me, and from the words of my groaning? [Mat 27:46]

(2)  O my Father, I cry in the daytime, but You answer not; and by night I am not silent or find no rest.

So, my Father? This is the norm for Your children. How long must I endure this crucifixion of my flesh? I see. I must die daily. Wow! From Psalms 22 to 1Corinthians 15.

The Resurrection of Messiah


1Co 15:2  And by which you are saved, if you hold fast and keep firmly what I preached to you, unless you believed at first without effect and all for nothing. 

Paused. Reflected on Your written words. Ah! How clearly, I see Your newborn children’s predicament. The same predicament I suffered until now. What am I talking about?

Doing the talk but not living that talk…

Dear Reader, whether you are a Christian or not, I’m sure you are familiar with the Christian Gospel or Good News. For such Gospel has been spread through the four corners of the earth.

So? What’s the problem? What predicament am I talking about? I am talking about the Christian predicament of spiritual stagnation—doing the talk but not living that talk.

O well, I don’t intent to get technical or critical here. Indeed! Much of that has been the norm for centuries. It’s now time to live the life not the talk about that life.

Yes, practically all my life I been talking about the resurrected life that I am now living. Talking about it—just talking not living it. Ah! But all that talk? I thought that was living it. Duh!

Ha! I could mouth the written words with such an ease. For everything and for one thing? I had the appropriate verse of Scripture. Wow! And they called me a ‘good Christian’ woman.

O man! In retrospect? Seeing my old predicament? I also see everybody else’s predicament. Even the most zealous of inspired ministers and teachers of the Word must now come to see as I am seeing now.

Why? Because that is the way our Father/Creator has decreed. I have no explanation. I cannot put in a few words this amazing work the Father/Creator has and still is, performing in my life.

Through hell and back ….

Father is now in perfect control of every minute detail of my living experience in His Presence. Been going through hell and back since January 1, 2018.

The last two days? The worst, least it feels like the worst. Not only my much-needed money gone, but! Uric acid flare-up!

Anyone familiar with the torture of Uric acid flare-up? It makes one wish to die! Those uric crystals can inflict such pain in one’s feet enough to wish death to get it over with.

In the peak of such flare-up? I woke up. Midnight. “….. Why have You forsaken me? Been crying for help now for days, why are You silent?” The painful waking up.

What is it that I heard? The verses quoted by the Spirit of the Father/Creator within my being. It’s now about 3 hours since that painful waking up. It’s 2:56 am.

Somehow? The pain is now under control. I’m back in hopeful grounds. No matter how all the threats sound? I am holding on to my Father’s faithfulness grounds.

Power to wish no evil to the money makers….

Though I walk in this valley of death in this insanity ridden world, under the authority of the Power To Be controlling the money makers? I fear not evil, and? I wish no evil to the money makers.

The worker in Site 5 that refuses to refund my money? I do not blame nor wish any evil to that person, because, it is not for me to do such thing. Instead? I hear that lovely voice speaking to me again. It’s written,

Suffering for Righteousness’ Sake

1Peter 3: 8-17.


Never return evil for evil or insult for insult (scolding, tongue-lashing, berating), but on the contrary blessing [praying for their welfare, happiness, and protection, and truly pitying and loving them]. For know that to this you have been called, that you may yourselves inherit a blessing [from your Creator–that you may obtain a blessing as heirs, bringing welfare and happiness and protection]. 

His Words seared in my heart and mind….

O but how blessed I am to hear that lovely voice in my heart pronounce those words to me. That voice pronounces those words as the Set-Apart Spirit sears the same in my heart to avail me for eternity!

Dear Reader, my hope? For those words to reach your heart as they have reached mine. In the meantime, and until the next post?



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