Posts Tagged ‘aggression’

Why Ray Rice hit his wife?

September 17, 2014

In most cases of aggression a man physical assault on his woman is a reaction to being refused sex he believes he is “entitled” to, or she is spending too much of “his” money without permission. In the case of successful football players like Ray Rice the number of cases is a bit higher because football is an aggressive profession and successful black football players have more of it in general. I don’t know the circumstances or psychological reasons why Ray Rice hit his woman, but I would like men to tame themselves more and women to avoid triggering the reaction.

Men with a strong libido should be more selective who they marry because most women have a  low libido.  Many divorces happen because of sex and money disagreements, but in most marriages the solution is not a divorce but a life of pretending to be happy (quiet desperation). The husband and the wife settle down to a “soap opera” relationship.  He takes a secret lover and becomes anxious when she snooped around and she becomes depressed from lack of a healthy sex life. Kids are usually born at this low point in the relationship when the parents need something important to share or communicate about, or be a buffer. Psychology calls it indirect relationship or third party relation.

Ray Rice and his wife may choose a good life together if they go for behavioral counseling (1 in 16 do). The goal of BC is to reach a compromise agreement: for him to treat her with love and respect in exchange for better sex and for her to spend his money more wisely, if that is the case here. Behavioral counseling is the simplest counseling there is: behavior is controlled by its consequences, that is it! and if you learn to do it well all negative emotions get deleted from the brain in time.