Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Thoughts In My Head to Relieave You

At 5.30am . I felt everything coalescing into a big cosmic ball inside me. I closed my eyes and the world started to roll. I felt like everything was connected, and I felt good. The world was spinning and the light that was reflected off all shiny surfaces seemed to me to be far too bright. I closed my eyes tighter,which only made me feel even more awesome.

During my delusional world, I had an epiphany. It had to do with falling in love and seeing the world. It's kinda freaky. You can live and enjoy life in Vegas in a mere dream.Dreams take to you to  the world you have dreamt and seen in the movies. I love my dreams.They expose me to what I want.

I think most people in marriages are living in some kind of lie. I think everyone is living in some kind of lie anyway, but most of the time it does not include being in cramped emotional quarters with someone else. The thought it just terrible. Relationships make me feel claustrophobic. I love them, and I love falling in love, but I think the claustrophobia wins out in the end, and I prefer to stay away from anything getting too serious especially if I have no interest. But really, you can't control this shit. You fall in love because  your partner is charming, nice, generous ,great escapades and before you know it, you're seeing each other everyday so you might was well move in together. I have never done this thing ,but so many times ,I see the sister girls and brother boys falling prey. I am not a star , I am just riding with J.

It's bleak really. The odds are stacked against you. About 50% of marriages in the developed world fall apart and end in divorce. Out of the remaining 50%, how many are actually functional?

You're probably thinking, what kind of lame-ace epiphany is that? I already knew all that, it's not a novel revelation. But you know, when you're in an alternate state of mind, you have this feeling like you really get it. I didn't just know that all this tragedy was the truth, I understood it was the truth. That the current system in place is nerd but people still believe in it.

But I'd also like to believe it will change. That people will start seeing things differently and stop lying to themselves and everyone else around them. That they would liquidate their partners so there will be more to go around because as we know, all the best men are taken, except the ones that aren't taken and are about to be taken, so they might as well be.

Just one of those mornings where you lay out your thoughts and feel good in your head. It is a beautiful Day. It reminds of me of one of my favorite jams Beautiful day by U2.



  1. I agree, I think everyone has their own 'lie' Xo, Megan, www.TfDiaries.com

  2. True that...defining life and purpose your way

    Thanks Megan