LEMONADE - 25 cents.

I had to have a little work done on the car the other day, and as a result I worked the first half of the morning from the waiting room at the Honda dealership. I love you, WiFi.

On my way back to work, I was sitting at a light and noticed the most awesome sign ever:

As I've said before, anything that close to the road is garbage.

(And remember, every time you click here, an angel gets her table back.)


Tongs? Really? Man, I lead a sheltered life.


Fantastic Google Searches That Somehow Led People To My Site:














Scientific American Pie = Brane Damage.


I am too stupid to read Scientific American.



I've decided that the Scientific American magazines must go.





Scientific American

Popular Science





I wish they all could be California.

With my new DirecTV installation, I get free HBO and Showtime for 3 months. Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I've been busily recording anything and everything that looks even remotely interesting. I've seen more bad B-movies in the last month than I have in the previous two years. As an aside, I'm also apparently addicted to the show Californication.

Anyway, somewhere along the line, I recorded a movie called "The Beach Girls" -- which has to be the most horrible piece of shit ever released direct to video. I attempted to watch it tonight, since I was in the mood for a light comedy, but I couldn't do it. It was seriously that bad.

I got about 10 minutes into it and had the following conversation with my wife:

"You know what amazes me most about this movie?" I asked her.

"What? That it's so horrible?"

"No, it's the fact that it actually came into being. Think about it -- Someone, somewhere, wrote a screenplay with this ridiculous dialogue in it. Then someone else read it and somehow thought it was good enough to option for a movie. Then someone with money read it and decided that it should definitely become a movie -- and so they financed it. And then....then....a bunch of someone else's auditioned for the various roles -- characters with names like 'Ginger' and 'Ducky' -- because they wanted to be in it, and finally, someone else directed it and as a result this piece of shit actually made it to film."

"And then someone else went out of his way to record it just because he thought it might have lots of naked boobies in it."


click it or ticket, as the cops 'round these parts are fond of saying. Sometimes if you show them your boobies, they let you go.


Guitar hero.

My friend Greg is going off to start his own business and become a famous guitar maker, and this afternoon he brought a couple of his newest babies up so we could snap a few pictures:

They are truly amazing when you see them in person. If anyone wants to place an order, or maybe just wants to rub up against these guitars in an obscene manner, I will only charge a 10% commission to make either of those things happen.

His e-mail address is info at fealeyguitars.com. Drop him a line if you have any questions about pricing or humbuckers or any other crazy guitar thing.

Now pardon me while I go into my shop and throw away all my woodworking tools. They are obviously wasted on me.

Talented effer.