Self Analysis in the SipEasy

28 11 2010

“The roads of ‘if” litter our joy of ‘now’” said the new age counselor. Nori Pi never smiled between her sentences causing Jim to wonder about her authority on happiness.

Jim, a son of an ex-diplomat father and artist mother was disillusioned with societal expectations. His persistent search of friends and partners who questioned the world as he was not promising. While waiting for his omlet at the Sip Easy bar, a coffee stained ad from his local newspaper headlined “Connecting you to us” caught his attention.

And now, Jim was doubting– not Nori but his own choice to listen to such nonsense. As Nori continued to spout overly interpreted clichés frosted with hope, Jim sunk into a painfully penetrating self analysis.

Where was his desperation for connection originating? Perhaps a newly formed mental chemical imbalance had pushed him towards obtaining more intimacy before he reached age 30? Was his 29 years devoid of authentic relationships or were the premise of such relationships spinning away from his own authenticity? If he had been born to other parents, how would his motivations and values match those of his today? And then there were those nagging insecurities that multiplied as soon as he received a compliment…

How had his desperation for connection led him to a conference that was providing little solace? Jim decided it was a path that he’d been programmed to follow for many years and this path had created this desperate need.

The listless days since Jim’s private school education had compounded to a very bold period at the end of his summer prior to entering Davidson College. Once courses began, he became like an exclamation mark refusing to settle for textbook answers to his inquiries into the persistent injustices of the world. Soon enough, graduation was upon him and with degree in hand, Jim began to live in a short comatose consciousness that was focused on obtaining a job.

Although now with a job, Jim did not know the purpose of having one. He deeply felt making a living was not synonymous for having a job. Making a living led one to revelations, personal growth, and benefited society. In his schooling, no one ever discussed the difference between living and working. Maybe this desperation arose from this conflict.

After the conference, Jim headed towards the Sip Easy and observed the characters slipping into the bar’s darkness.