Tonight I wish to retell the tale of 2015’s fantasy football season. In the league that I ran, I invited a friend from a previous job to come play with some friends from my current job. Draft time was getting closer, and I was still 1 manager short to complete the league. My friend Ian from my old job said he knew a guy who would play, and so the final invite was sent out and the league completed. 

As the season went on, it became apparent that the new guy was derelict. Not what I was hoping for, needless to say. However, he did do 1 thing all year, he made a huge blockbuster trade to Ian for some priceless talent in exchange for injured talent. Ian then antagonized me by claiming the key to his success was picking up people I cut off my roster, which was partially true. But also true for everyone else. 

His team and my team made it to the championship, and I soundly defeated him. When I look back, it became clear to me that there was no new guy, it was just Ian managing 2 teams so he could harvest the talent from two rosters and make one mighty mega team. This plan failed miserably, and the evidence speaks for itself: no waiver for the new guy, 0-15 record, never changed lineups, no messages or chats, one trade with Ian. Odd? I agree. Ian tried to cheat his way to a championship and it backfired. Good triumphed over stupidity and my victory was all the more tasty because of it. 

Moral is, if your going to cheat, win… don’t humiliate yourself in the attempt to do so. Now he has nothing to show for his cheating, and is left with only shame. 

Or, you could not be a loser and play fair and earn your victories. Morality much? But then again, he is a Patriots fan. Nuff said. 

Now this year I invited Ian back. He declined for some bullshit reason. Can’t play for real with the big boys? Too chicken shit? I figured. 

Well, at least I know what it feels like to be a champion. Even if I never get to again. I made it. He didn’t. Ha fucking ha. 

One thought on “Cheaters

  1. Interesting hypothesis, none of it’s true, but I do appreciate the spirit and correlation to Patriots fandom.

    I had no access to his account, and I bugged him to update frequently. About half way into the season it became evident that he wasn’t going to participate, so we kind of ruled him to be the “Sure Win Opponent” or the “Aw man, I really lost to him this time” guy.

    I just wish I had been around when you posted this back in September to write this.

    If I remember correctly, I think my reason for not joining the next time around had something to do with trying to create more time for family and working harder to make my way to the Biz Team. I did both of those things. Not really bull shit to me, but hey, yours are a different set of eyes.

Comments are closed.