Category Archives: lgbt

Restarting in 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

Water Splash Isolated On White.

So, I lost my mind a little bit over the weekend. Pride was difficult for me. It’s hard being gay, and yet, not fitting in with the gay community. It’s also hard when the gay community then judges you for not fitting in, and tries to tell you it’s your fault. It’s sad when minority groups act exactly like the groups that have oppressed them, and what’s even worse, the minority groups feel some sort of moral high-ground and can’t bring themselves to view their actions as anything other than martyrdom.

Here’s an example – So I was having a hard time with Pride. It’s always difficult when everyone else is out having fun, and I’m left on the sidelines. It’s even harder when all these people are having fun doing things that I’m “supposed” to enjoy doing. It makes me feel defective. Like somehow I’m broken.

So, I’m saying this to a guy…I told him how the gay community has norms, and granted these norms are different from heterosexual norms, but they are norms nonetheless. I gave examples, like how we’re for some reason supposed to love wearing rainbows, we’re supposed to be ok with barebacking now that prep is a thing, how heavy drinking and drug use is normalized, and femininity is hailed as heroic while masculinity is seen as desperately trying to be “straight”. If you don’t agree with these beliefs, you are seen as less-than. I told him how that’s stupid and proves that the LGBTQ community isn’t this welcoming, loving bunch of people that they portray themselves to be. And that Pride is only for a people who follow the norms. I told him that I don’t feel like Pride is for me. it seems like its for other people. People who play the game. People who conform.


I mean, just look at this photo… Andy Cohen and the Real Housewives are not good idols to have. In fact, Andy Cohen is notoriously an egomaniacal asshole who treats people like shit. Just Google him if you don’t believe me. So, anyways, Gays listen to me…. Just admit it. Pride isn’t about Pride. It’s a time for the Divas to come show off, be seen, and post to social media. Stop pretending it’s somehow courageous.

OMG, I got lost in a tangent.  So anyways, I say this to this guy, and his response (keep in mind, he’s white)… he goes, “Oh, this is sooooo typical. A cis white man feels like an event isn’t made specifically for him, so he gets mad and claims oppression. I bet you voted for Trump too!”




Seriously.  Do you want to win 2020? Or do you just want to show what privileged assholes you are by no longer feeling like you even need to listen to what others says?


But anyhoo…. It’s Monday. Pride is over. The gays are all leaving back to wherever they came from, the city is slowing down, the sun in shining, and I’m ready to restart.



It’s true that I can’t change the gays, or anyone for that matter. Cultural norms are extremely hard to change. However, I can focus on myself. I can work to my dreams come true. I can work to find the people I belong with. Pride isn’t for me. And that impacts nobody but me. The millions of people at Pride this weekend didn’t even know that I was sitting in my apartment, nor would they even care.

It’s up to me to find where I belong. To make meaning for myself. And to live the life I want.

Yes. It sucks that nobody is there for me. And it sucks that nobody cares.

But, that doesn’t change that that’s the reality of life.


Deep breath…

In, out, in, out.

Let’s do this.

~The Dark Horse

(Sooooooooo not proofread!)


Why Pride is Still Needed




Here are some things I’ve had to go through…







Depression, Anxiety, Anger, and Fear

We don’t yet have safety.
We don’t yet have peaceful lives.

Thank you for reading.

Why I hate East Coast Liberals


So, for starters I’m going to say, I’m liberal. I’m like, super, super beyond liberal. Having lived in countries like Canada, Australia and New Zealand, I’ve seen that a high minimum wage, universal healthcare, gun control, and strong social services for the underprivileged not only are possible, but they work. And they create strong, healthy, happy countries, with good stable economies. 

Don’t believe me? Here’s a few links for various studies.  Feel free to alert me when you’ve found America on any of these lists (But lets be real here, Republicans won’t believe anything besides Fox News anyways…so this is probably pointless)




Global Peace Index


But anyways, I’m a stark raging liberal. However, I’m not a fucking idiot. And because I’m not an idiot, I have to let everyone know that I fucking hate East Coast Liberals. 

I’m at a cafe right now on the Upper West Side, and there are two obnoxious spoiled, privileged, Jewish liberals next to me saying the dumbest shit in the entire world. Here’s a small selection:

“Oh my God, you know who I love? Beto O’Rourke! He’s the next president.”

“I’m going to visit one of the refugee camps down south and interview LGBTQ migrants, because really, they’re a group that’s been ignored in the zeitgeist.”

“I’m taking a trip to Texas to visit southern synagogues because, like, life is different down in Texas, and I want to see what it’s like.  Do you know that there aren’t as many Jewish people down in Texas? Isn’t that strange?”

“You know it’s wrong when someone sees a white baby with a non-white mother pushing the stroller, and they assume it’s the baby’s nanny. It’s totally internalized racism!”

And the list goes on… in fact they’re still next to me. And I sort of want to kill them. Let’s unpack some of these quotes shall we? Examine where everything is going wrong with liberals these days.


Quote 1:



Ok, east coast liberals, listen up… up until this most recent election cycle, you had no fucking idea who Beto O’Rourke was. So can democrats please stop acting like he’s the Godsend you’ve all been waiting for? Besides, look at your track record with other democrats…you’ll just end up hating him anyways.

Don’t believe me?

Remember when you loved Hilary Clinton?  Do you love her now?  No. You all hate her.

Remember when you all loved Bill Clinton? Do you love him now?  No. You think he’s a sex offender.

Remember when you all loved Elizabeth Warren? Do you still love her now? No. You all hate her, and you actually turned on her quite quickly, considering that she’s actually a wonderful politician.

Remember when you all loved Nancy Pelosi? Yeah… ya’ll are turning on her pretty fast these days…

What’s the bottom line here? It’s this: Liberals demand across-the-board-perfection from their politicians (which is fucking hilarious considering that human perfection is impossible. And it’s a standard that none of you liberals even hold yourselves to). So, democrats will continue to burn down their own castle over dumb shit, and Trump will win again in 2020, because even though republicans are fucking selfish idiots, they at least have the power to agree in the name of winning elections.


Quote #2



Is it important to hear stories of diverse individuals?  Yes. But is it also SO INSANELY STUPID AND WRONG for some group of over-privileged Jews from Uptown Manhattan to go run down and “save” these poor lost puppies (Oh, I’m sorry…no they’re humans… it’s just that you treat them like lost puppies.) And you do all this simply because it will help your own social status.  You don’t just go hunt down LGBTQ migrants solely to use them for their oppression status if you’re actually a genuine person. Minorities are not a prop for you to use to increase your social standing you selfish fucking cunts. Stay in Manhattan and continue living off of daddy’s money. #Thanks.


Quote #3



Again, democrats, you want to know why you’re going to lose the presidency again in 2020?  This is why. The fact that America is made up of 50 states, and you can only comprehend the lifestyles of people in about 5, maybe 10 at the very most, of those states, is why. Once again, these aren’t just props. Middle America isn’t just the setting to TV shows and novels. They’re actual states with actual people living there.

And if you want to live in your little bubbles in the big coastal cities and not even try to understand the rest of your own fucking country, then that’s fine. You can. You can be just as stupid and small minded as republicans are. THE PROBLEM HERE is that liberals are the ones who claim to be the educated party. The just party. The party of equality and diversity. But the fact that you see Texas as this strange new frontier with a lifestyle so bizarre that you can’t even fathom it…. that proves that you’re not the educated party filled with open-minded individuals. It shows you’re a bunch of fucking idiots who are no better than Republicans who look at New York and Los Angeles with complete blankness. So get off your high horse please.


Quote #4


Gwen Stefani Is A Hot Mama in Harem Pants!

Another HUGE problem with liberals. Creating enemies out of everyone because you love stroking your own cocks at the very idea that you’re better than others.

Is it wrong that someone would assume a non-white mother could have a white baby? Sure. It’s ignorance, it’s a lack of knowledge of the world, it’s stupidity. It can be a lot of things. But by slapping the term RACIST on someone implies that there is a malicious intent on their part. It implies that they’re actively judging the mother BECAUSE OF HER SKIN COLOR.

But here’s another possibility: I used to work in a Pinkberry in Brentwood. The rich area of Los Angeles. Do you know how many hispanic nannies came in every single day with white woman’s babies? Sometimes, the rich white women would come in with the nanny! The mother would literally make the nanny push the pram! So, is it possible that someone is used to associating a non-white woman pushing a white baby in stroller as a nanny? YES ABSOLUTELY. But that isn’t racism. That isn’t the same as a person being like, “THAT WOMAN IS NON WHITE, SO SURELY SHE COULDN’T POSSIBLY BE A MOTHER! SHE MUST BE A NANNY!”

You’re confusing ignorance with hatred. And when you call ignorant people hateful people, then guess what, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WIN THEM OVER. Its another great example of liberals shooting themselves in the foot and pushing others away, Purely because they’re so obsessed with feeling superior to others.


Ok, I need to get back to work now. I just had to rant otherwise my brain would have exploded.

~ The Dark Horse

(This was totally not proofread. It was written out of pure frustration)

Dear Trans Community…We Need To Talk.

dear trans community...


Alright, so I need to have a heart-to-heart with my fellow LGBTQ community. And trigger warning, this post will probably come off as offensive and will mention graphic sexual material. Sorry in advance.

Ok, so let’s just put this out there: Trans people….what are you doing? I feel the need to write about this because this has happened to me multiple times now and I’m genuinely curious and confused by it.

What has happened is that trans guys have messaged me on the gay apps. When I tell them that I’m not interested, they obviously ask why, and so I tell them because I’m not into trans men. I am a gay man, and therefore, I love cock and balls with sexy bush .


I am then immediately told that I am transphobic. 




Am I? 


For Real? 


So then I ask, How am I transphobic? 

And the response is always this: You claim to be a gay man, so therefore you should be attracted to anyone who identifies as male.

I then respond with: No…I am a gay male because I am attracted to the male body and all its giblets.

The trans guys always respond with:  No, I identify as male, you should treat me as one.

And then I’m like… Look dude, I respect you and I see you as male and I think you deserve rights and happiness, but the second you pull down your pants, and rather than a honking, raging boner, with a couple of balls knocking around, you have a vagina, I won’t be able to get hard…because I don’t find vagina attractive.

(PS- there’s also the HUGE issue of “non-passing” trans guys, which, as a gay man, it would be very hard to be sexually attracted to a trans man who has a vagina, and still looks physically like a woman… but you can’t bring that up to trans people because then they call you transphobic again…. so, anyways, moving on…)


So, then I’m like, why don’t you have sex with guys who are into trans guys? For example, I have a friend.  a really good friend, who is in trans women. My friend isn’t a weirdo or scuzzy. He is a safe and stable guy with a good stable job. He just loves trans women.

And then the trans guys are always like, No! Those guys are just using me as a fetish!

And then I’m like… Ok, so you’re hitting up gay men. Men who are interested in cocks and balls… and get mad when they’re not into you. And then, when you have a group of people who are into trans people… but you refuse to allow any of them to love you because you think that you’re being used… It sounds like you’re not allowing yourself to be happy. 


They then say something along the lines of, “No, you just don’t find me attractive because of cultural norms. Gender is a spectrum! You don’t get it! Society has told you that because you’re gay, you should only be attracted to one type of person!

And then I’m like…. Actually, I’m from Ohio you obnoxious privileged New Englander… I spent my entire youth growing up having everyone hate me for being gay. And all I ever heard was that I’m supposed to like vagina because that’s what’s “normal”.  I assure you that all those years of being beat up and harassed was very much not me following the social norm.  And furthermore, I’ve spent enough years of my life being told I’m supposed to be into vagina. I’m not. Sorry. I am just not. And I’m not in the mood for the LGBTQ community to start telling me that as well. I know who I am and I know what I like.

Then I’m called transphobic again and they repeat the whole gender is a spectrum argument…which I full agree with. Gender can be a spectrum, and people can do whatever they want…just like I can do whatever I want and be into whatever I’m into…and what I’m into is a nice cock, low hanging balls, and a hairy chest.

Then I get the whole “That’s just what society wants you to believe” argument again…

So then I say this:


Ok, look at this picture.


By your argument of, as a gay man I should be interested in anyone who identifies as male regardless of physical body, then, hypothetically, I should be attracted to this picture of Jessica Alba if she said she identifies as male. Correct? 


Then they get really mad and tell me that I’m mean and that I just don’t get it, because I don’t want to get it, and that I’m transphobic and such.  Then they normally block me, so the conversation ends.


So, trans people, what are your thoughts? What am I not seeing that you’re seeing? because I am 100% confused, and completely shocked that I’ve had multiple trans people say the exact same things to me.


Also, this is 2018! I fully believe that there are trans men out there who are capable of creating a website or app. Why doesn’t the trans community create their own dating app? That way you can self-select the community you speak to. That way you’ll know any guy who has made an account on that app is into trans people!

Just like, as a gay man, I would never log into Bumble, because that is for straight people. It’s a women seeking men and men seeking women app. That doesn’t mean that I think the Bumble app is homophobic. It’s just that heterosexual people aren’t into the same sex. So, is there no way for the trans community to move off and make their own apps as well?

Anyone else have thoughts they’d like to share? Again, I’m sorry if this all sounds transphobic. I literally don’t understand how it does. I just think it’s preference.



~ The Dark Horse





This is the last week of school before Christmas break. And for Tuesday’s class, we’ve been tasked with reading Paul Monette’s Borrowed Time: An AIDS Memoir. And this is the strangest feeling ever.

Im so excited for Christmas break. No school. No homework. Just relaxation and the joys of Christmas – The lights, the music, the snow, the food. the presents!  And yet, that joy is mixed with a feeling of nausea. Reading this book is probably one of the hardest I’ve had to read, along with our books on the Holocaust last month. Ever page weighs on my chest.


AIDS crept into the gay community like a stalker in the night. The virus itself is actually brilliant. It’s smart. It knows how to survive. It can sit dormant for long periods of time, infecting more and more of your body before any dire symptoms arise. By the time the worlds realized that there was a “Gay disease” it was too late. Enough men were infected with the virus (and were also asymptomatic) that it was hopeless. Men were having sex because they felt fine, unknowingly spreading the virus that caused what was then called “gay-related immune deficiency” or GRID.

There were tons of misinformation in the beginning. The disease was prevalent among Haitians, leading researchers to believe that was the origin of the disease. Also, since it was mainly gay men having with the disease, it was assumed it was a gay problem. And with America being both racist and homophobic, GRID wasn’t seen as a problem, because really, who cared about faggots and poor foreigners anyways? was the common thought.

The disease spread, originally being seen as something that only big-city slutty gays would get. It was believed that exposure took time, and related sexual intercouse. New York and San Fransisco were the hotbeds of the disease for America, with LA leading on their tail.



The Reagan administration was completely homophobic, passing no LGBT legislation, and Reagan was openly against homosexuality. Along with that, many religions refused to to take part in what was now known as HIV (Human immunodieffeinrcy virus) education. The church refused to take a stance, saying only condoms were against God and that refraining from sex was the only answer for gays.

Gay men were dropping like flies. The death-toll rose daily. HIV cases began sprouting up around the world in countries like Australia, Canada, Brazil, and had been in Africa for quite some time (It is now believed that HIV originated in Kinshasa, DRC, and was transferred to humans from the primate disease SIV).

The gay community sat and wondered wonder if they would survive, or if they were simply waiting for their turn to die.


A slew of early-stage HIV medication was used, like AZT, with little success. And protests began, begging the world to take the disease seriously and stop the genocide of the gay community.


Finally, in the late-90’s and into the 2000’s, after the gay community suffered in fear and mourning for almost 20 years, AIDS research took a turn for the better with more funding and more dedicated research being given to the disease. And all of this wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for the grassroots non-profits and the protests from groups like ACT UP.

Now, in 2018, we have Prep, which is a daily pill that can help reduce your chances of HIV infection with an almost 100% success rate. And we have PEP which is a series of pills that can be taken within 72 hours of exposure to the virus, and can prevent it from infecting you.

We also have our strongest set of weapons:  Knowledge. 

We know that condoms can save lives. We know that HIV is everywhere, not just the gay community. We know that being smart about sex, and being smart about who you have sex with, can also save lives.


Being a gay guy in 2018, I have to say that I am so fortunate and so privileged to benefit from the actions of the gay community of the 80s, 90s, and 00s. I’m so relieved that I never had to go through the crisis period, where they spent everyday finding out another friend was infected or had died, or worse still, finding out that they themselves had the disease.




I remember the famous Newsweek cover about Saving Private Ryan that said “War Is Hell”



Well, after reading this book I’ve also learned that HIV/AIDS is also hell. And the gay community were the grunts on the frontlines. The ones who died so that the world could come away with knowledge of the disease, and medication, and a future of potential hope.


And to all my fellow gays, here in 2018, I ask that we be smart. Viruses are much better at their jobs than we are. They evolve and adapt so much faster than human medication. And I know a lot of younger gays see Prep and PEP and the savior we’ve been waiting for. The “end of AIDS”, but viruses don’t work that way. If not used properly, the virus can form a resistance to the drug, thus creating a second epidemic that will take countless lives. And also, I know a lot of gays these days see Prep as such an all-all-encompassing cure, that they feel there is no longer a need for condoms.

To that I say, READ THIS BOOK. Read about how slow and agonizing a death from AIDS is. Read about wasting. Read about the constant weakness, the constant pain, and the knowledge that there is no cure. You want to see hell? I would imagine that dying slowly, knowing there is no way out of it, knowing that if you would have just used a condom all of this could have been prevented…. That’s hell. I can’t imagine a worse hell.

Because at the end of the day, HIV isn’t a disease for sluts or whores. It takes 1 time.

1 time.


1 single encounter.


That’s all. So always use a condom. 


This Christmas, remember we are so fortunate to live in the time we live in. And because of that, we need to respect our past and those who died for us. And we also need to respect future generations. Do we want to pass HIV on to the next generation? FUCK NO.

So, this holiday season:

Get to know your sexual partner first,

Wear a motherfucking condom,

Volunteer at an HIV nonprofit, take part in and AIDS walk, or donate to a charity, like this one here: AIDS UNITED

Or, go to the next step, and help out at your local LGBTQ youth center. Help educate the new generation. Help inspire young runaways. Help in any way you can, because it’s our fucking duty as gays. Our community has been to hell and back, and let’s not go there again.

Can I get an Oorah!, please?




~ The Dark Horse

Tolerance, and how much do I have to tolerate?

A general view of the Auschwitz fences during the 73rd






~homosexuality is insanity, and a gross perversion.


~ Women shouldn’t vote

~ Black and Gender studies are a joke

~ Africans are silly little things….










The class just stared at him blankly.








And at this point, I just went:











It’s sad.




I wonder what will happen next week?

~ The Dark Horse