The Keep Your Coat On Pizzeria Edition

A rose, by any other name, is still a rose. But if thou callest a bucket full of pig shit a rose, thou art a goddamn liar.

Don’t you just know this is what gets said when the cameras are off?

Turn the closed captioning on while you watch this, to get the full, intended effect. It won’t help you understand at all, but at least you’ll know what they’re saying.

25 Responses to The Keep Your Coat On Pizzeria Edition

  1. How many legs does a dog have if you call its tail a leg?
    [insert wrong answer]
    No, four! Calling a dog’s tail a leg doesn’t make it one.
    – attributed to the 16th US President

  2. I approve of the Obama Anger Translator. 😀
    Can we get a Bullshit Translator for Berlusconi? And Bullshit Translator Subtitles for Fox News?

    • Impractical. They can’t even make one that translates the phrase

      “Created or saved (Insert large number pulled out of ass here) Jobs”


      “Bullshit, there’s no way to quantify a “Saved” job, and employment is DOWN. Hiring more government bureaucrats doesn’t count as “creating” a job, it’s just hiring more government bureaucrats.”

      • I just hear, “Blah, blah, blah… I can’t appreciate the joke because I am too firmly entrenched in my politics, even though politics is itself a big, stupid joke. Blah, blah, blah.”

      • I’m sorry, what? Even German news reported last week that employment in the USA is currently going up again.

          • Doubt it, when the average pay (possibly except for top-level execs, I dunno) is also down. Lots of people who aren’t technically unemployed are underemployed. Including me.

            Me, I thought, “So, now the people who only support Barack because of his skin tone want to make him sound stupid?? O-o-kay, I guess.”

            • Honestly it’s hard to find many these days who DO support Obama. There are plenty who like the Republicans less, but for “Chocolate Jesus” the bloom is definitely off the rose.

  3. Why is he throwing his pizza boomerang like a disc ? You throw a regular pizza like a disc, not a boomerang one… That made no sense…