Why Ambitious Women Hardly Get Married or Last in Marriages

Ever wonder why the Madonna’s, J’lo’s, Britney’s, Oprah Winfrey
and co ever get married or stay in marriages? And I know you are wondering why Beyoncé
is not on this list…well, let’s not rule her out just yet! With her lemonade
album and Jay Z’s recent confession on his 4:44 album, who knows? And I’m not a
hater or witch hunting queen Bey, I’m actually a fan but I gotta tell you, beautiful,
successful or almost successful (success is based mostly on achievements, you
decide which one is yours…) and ambitious women find it really difficult settling down or last in marriages.
Besides, Beyoncé met Jay z when she was with Destiny’s child
and he was the first artist to feature on her first
solo album so…. I guess we’ll say they deserve each other. And Jay Z’s net
worth is $810 million, so you can say Bey knows what she is doing. I can’t even
imagine her with another person to be honest if she divorces Jay z. It’ll just
be from one divorce to another, take Madonna for example.
In our home country, Nigeria, we have the likes of Tiwa
Savage,Toke Makinwa and co… Though Tiwa and Tee Billz started their music
company together, Tiwa got the attention thanks to her singing talent  and became more popular and established,
which made Tee Billz uncomfortable at some point resulting in that 2016
meltdown (though they seem to be working things out,i don’t know…). Toke Makinwa holding on
to a deadbeat love cause of history that she had with the dude (Maje), taking all
sorts of BS until well, she couldn’t.
Photo Credit: Google
Anyhow, this article is not about pop culture and their love
lives, since we all know most of their union 
are for publicity (individual or both party) and since they are the ones
we can see, we often times use them as examples. Therefore, we will be taking
about our men (Nigerian men in particular since duh! I’m a Nigerian, lol). Most
Nigerian men find ambitious women intimidating and feel like being with them
can make them insecure or feel like they are not men enough, if that makes
sense. In other words;
  • They are naturally egotistic (common with all men)…
  • They love to dominate (not all but a good amount of them)
  • They love the simple girls (The “Yes chic”)

Photo Credit: Google
They are naturally egotistic
Just as it’s in our DNA as women to want to nurture, well
men are naturally egotistic. They love the sense of responsibility, someone
needing them (though some of them are incapable) and when they feel like they
don’t have that with you, they feel worthless. Which most of them do not love.
Given that most ambitious women are independent and most times don’t need a man
to do everything for them, it drives them ‘men’ nuts. But they don’t need to be
upset by it, take a cue from the lion and lionesses, according to National
geographic; Lionesses do the hunting; lionesses not male lions, do the majority
while the males protect their pride. Prides (groups) which are family unit that may include up to three males, a dozen or so
females, and their young; All of pride lionesses are related and female cubs
typically stay with the group as they age.
Side note: Men should appreciate strong, ambitious women
because we do not love you because you can help in time of need and distress
but because we just do!!! Most ambitious women just need a man to care for them,
you know; be concerned, supportive, help get her to where she needs to be in
life and vice versa. If that doesn’t sound like a good reason for a relationship,
I don’t know what is…. This does not imply that she doesn’t need help sometimes
or you shouldn’t make an effort, it just mean that she can take care of s@#t
whether you are there or not and doesn’t want to be a burden to you (knowing
you can make the boys trip and the house will be in order when you get back, if
not better).  Also, you can also live
your life even with her around and not hers alone.
They love to dominate
Ah yes this is another man thing, dominating! Well, unless
you are my boss or have something to do with corporate protocol on superiority
and what not, don’t try to dominate me. Marriage should be about two different
individuals coming together, sharing different views and backgrounds with
common values, vision and goals, if you are looking for who to control why did
you get a wife ? Why not start a company and hire people for that? Yes,
sometimes ambitious women can be control freaks but it has nothing to do with
their other half. Just as most men don’t like women saying “no” to them,
ambitious women know what they want and won’t have it otherwise.
Example: The way some men behave to women they ask out for
the first time, thinking their first and only huddle is to get the woman’s
phone number. The minute they get her phone number, they fix dates and cancel
without alerting the lady before the time of the supposed date since they feel
their reason is more important than actually calling to cancel, only for them
to call you the next day to say rubbish ( about how busy they are, like you are
not). In this case some desperate women would keep tolerating their BS but an
ambitious woman who for your information is goal oriented, focused and know her
worth, would not. Most Nigerian men don’t like this, they always want you at
their beck and call, so they could get bored as well *rolling eyes*.  P.S – “you
don’t dominate with words alone but by actions
”. Which comes down to the “Yes
chic”, they end up tying the knot with.

Image result for ambitious women
Photo Credit: Google
They love simple
I don’t mean the girl next door, not so fashion savvy
girls…I’m talking about the “yes chics”. These ‘yes’ type of ladies will agree
to anything their men say, do and so on. And you know what’s funny? Most
Nigerian women pretend to be ‘yes chic’ just to bag a man or get married, the
minute they are someone’s wife, their character shows up. And some good men
have no choice but to remain in the marriage but cheat anyways. Pretending to
be someone you are not, in a relationship for your selfish interest to me, is
like a form of betrayal. Before you know it, things would take a very dark turn;
everyone will get frustrated and at the same time try to do what is good for
them for the time being.
Why ambitious and successful women find it difficult getting
married or staying in one is simply because they don’t have time for pretense;
they are thinking of the next big thing and how they can impact in someone’s
life or the world. They have a voice and don’t want to be shut up, intimidated
or oppressed in the name of being somebody’s wife. Does it make them
disrespectful? Most certainly not! They know what it’s like to work so hard and
believe in something and respect people (man or woman) that do. They don’t need
you to tell them you are a man, be and act like a man
Not saying ambitions women don’t get married or won’t
eventually but it really takes time to meet your match, which involves a lot of
exposure due to our (yep! I’m part of you too) zeal to keep learning …before we
can meet our equal (marriage is a partnership, having same goals, values and
vision alongside complimenting each other). So don’t lose hope my strong women,
keep being you and living your life, you will definitely meet your match and it
will last forever. Don’t settle for less, don’t be pressured by society unless
you want to end up in separation or divorce and continue the cycle. Though it’s
hard, let your work (or in my case, art) keep you busy; love comes when you
least expect it.
I love y’all, be great!

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