Featured Post

Adoption and Child Separation at the Border


Monday, March 14, 2016







Quest For Love

For a very long time-years in fact I allowed my family or more importantly parents to project their personal fears onto me which cast a shadow in my own life. Restricting me, keeping me from my own happiness-but not any longer. Their fears say more about who they are their mistakes, memories or opinions should not be an obstacle in my very own and real life. 
I do love my mum and dad tremendously, yet I am not them and should not strive to be.


I realize that my failed reunion affected my mum and dad more than they like to admit and their bad experiences or as mum like to call it "her worst fear" came true it is just like they now believe all Koreans are like mine. Which in this case means greedy and money hungry, but I cannot fault them even if I try to. They are my flesh and blood and I love them despite everything.

Because of my own background I am very curious and eager to learn more about Korea and it's culture, I do even consider moving back to Korea - I told my parents this once. Now I rarely mention it because my parents wants me to learn from my mistake and move on with my life. They don't know that that thought and idea still isn't abandoned by me...

I think neither of my parents can fully understand what it means to grow up around people who don't even resemble you... I do want to find love and start a family with children that not only resembles me but that actually share a genetic connection with me. To me that is important-I won't lie anymore...

 That's why I strive for finding a Korean man, to me that is of utter importance and I recently begun to date just such a guy. I will not allow myself to acknowledge potential problems before I really need to I will instead try to see it as oppertunities and possibilities. Why should my sister's difficult and strained marriage have to become my faith as well, why should my relationship neccessarily end in divorce just because my oldest sister did just that?

I will take a chance at life and happiness, and not stay behind closed doors hiding in the shadows as my life pass me by...