Why I Write This Blog, To Help People

April 19, 2010

                                       Why I Write This Blog

     I write this blog so as to be able to educate people to avoid common mistakes made in marriage and relationships.  Some people will question as to why I am an authority on marriage when I have been married and divorced 4 times.  That is a legitimate question.

     Each time, I have learned more about myself and relationships.  What I have also learned is that you should avoid marriage counselors like the plague.  They  have a horrendous 75% failure rate.  This is because they give you one hour once a week.  This is not nearly enough.  You just stir up feelings with no place to go after that 50 minute hour. 

     I also find that marriage counselors don’t teach you how to have good conflict resolution but are stuck on talking about feelings.  Again this is a waste of time.  What they should be doing is to help you resolve your problems.  They need to take a proactive and a mediator role telling where each partner is making mistakes and how not to repeat those mistakes.  What I can tell you is after having gone through 10 marriage counselors, I found that they were all worthless and it is in part what they learn in school as well.  I went for the same undergrad and grad schools that they did.  I find that marriage coaches are the solution to your problems.

     I also write it because our children.  We all love our children.  They too often get trapped as unwilling pawns between couples.  Judith Wallerstein has done a long term epic study on the effects of divorce on children even into adult hood.  We need to not only get along, but set a role model for our children in conflict resolution.

     Finally, people have a lot of problems with sex.  We live in a very Puritanical society when it comes to sex.  We don’t talk about it with our spouses and people tend to withdraw emotionally when the sex is bad or the relationship is bad.  Sex is the glue that holds the marriage or relationship together.  I also teach people how to have truly great sex.

     The bottom line is that I am trying to help people achieve their ultimate dream of happily ever after.  It is possible if both of you commit to each other and nurture each other.

     The last reason that I write this blog is to introduce myself to people and offer them my services.  I give a half hour free consultation and an unheard of deal in the counseling industry:  A MONEY BACK GAURANTEE!    So drop me a note and leave me your phone number and I will call you back and set up an appointment.  I care and I want to help.

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