Tuesday, May 8, 2018

I Am So Sick of Worrying About Money

Let me tell you something. You can have a decent amount of money in savings, by which I mean like $3,000, but if you're like me, and you might be, it doesn't help. You still worry about every expense. You still know in the back of your mind that this money won't help you if you get sick or injured.

In my case, I fucked up my cat through ignorance that I could have remedied through like, reading some shit online and now she needs dental work plus I had to take her to the vet today because I think she's constipated again through me, again, fucking up.

At the same time, my car is 20 years old now and is doing some weird shit. I don't know how much longer it's going to last and me and my partner only have the one between us. I'm not looking forward to having to get a new/used one.

And, because I'm a freelancer because I swear to god in-office jobs make me want to kill myself (not an exaggeration), I have to worry about self-employment taxes. I have to save up because I'm going to owe a lot next year. Possibly over $1,000.

Not to mention last month I spent a bunch of money because, long story short, I don't know how our fucking tax system works.

Here's the thing. I make a small amount of money and luckily have few expenses. Then I know people who make a lot of money and have a lot of expenses to the point where they still live paycheck to paycheck. And are putting off badly needed medical care because of it.

I wish I could just stop giving a fuck. I wish I could just enjoy my life. I've been pretty stressed lately and haven't been keeping up well with this blog, and then I feel guilty about it. That's why I'm just thought-dumping on here, because I don't want to write about how fucked up the world is right now. I'm stressed enough.

I'm tired of it. I'm sick of seeing so much suffering in the world and watching the most powerful people on this Earth do NOTHING. Except make their suffering worse. Have you seen that shit about Jeff Bezos saying the only way he could possibly spend all of his obscene amounts of billions of dollars is by going into space? I actually tweeted at him this morning telling him that my sister needs surgery for endometriosis because she's always in pain but can't afford it and can't afford the childcare needed for her kid while she goes through the difficult and painful recovery.

He could toss me $15,000 for a new car and it would be nothing. Chump change. He could solve all the money problems of everyone I know and not even feel it. But instead of helping all the people who need it, he's dumping all his money into fucking space travel.

Travel to the sun and die, Bezos.

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