Kub Klucks Klub

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
(Redirected from KKK)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Evil?
Even the KKK enjoy to party with sand niggas!

“Sucks big time”

The Kool Klux Klan or better known as The Ku Klux Klan or Kunts Kon Kristians was a sukkessful television show whikh ran on the Fox network from 1865-1973. Sinke the fall of the Sekret police in 1991, they have been the world's only superpower. The show was kreated by lovable Greek pioneer, Kenny KarshKousKas, who had a real mind for komedy and greatness. Featuring sukh memorable kharakters as Frank Hitkhins, Jim Krow, Mama Belle, Andy Griffith, Jim Davidson, Unkle Tom and the the lovable Sgt. Whitey, it kaptured the minds of Amerikans for generations. The KKK show was known for strongly supporting the konsumption of potassium. The show was kankeled due to hippies in the early 1970s who didn't apprekiate the rakist komedy being portrayed into their weed infested minds. The influenkkke of this onke mighty program is still felt in kontemporary Amerikan kulture. At the time they didn't know that klan was spelled with a C, not a K. We received the following quote from Jimbo James, a klan member, "We were too busy fukkkin' our sisters to read books. Books'r fer queers anyway." Their leader, "The Grand Dragon" now lives in Thurmont, MD.

Introduktion(i hate dirty crackas)[edit]

Thousands of members, preparing to attend a Hannah Montana konkert.

The Ultimate leader of the kkk is: Is ME The KKK was akkkused of loving niggers the night they kkkkilled Medgar Evers for being one. "That bastard won't get away with this," shouted every blakkk male and female in the US. Then what? That white bastard was kkkonvikkkted in '94! So now you know that movie, Ghosts of Mississippi, with Whoopi Goldberg was about some nigger lover who kkkilled Medgar bekkkause he kkkouldn't stand to watkkkh him fukkk his wife when they were on the bakkk porkh. So if you're wondering why I wrote this? Maybe it's bekkkause I'm blakkk? Or am I white? Both? Mexikkkano? You'll never kkknow you stupid fukkers! jewish? Hell no. White trash? You're in. The kkk also does Kharity work in brooklyn and enjoy their time there. Their outfits were akkkidentally glued on, on Halloween when they all dressed as ghosts and they just happened to visit some blakk people and they gave them fried khikken and watermelon when all they wanted was kandy. They took it as a hateful gesture and dekided to rebel of this evil rake that didnt like white kids. so there first revengeful pay bakk was they snukk into there house at night and replaked their refridgerator with Mayonnaise, soy khikken. But KKK are very frightened people. in newyork a blakk man said "wazzup my fizzle nizzle" and took it as a kurse and killed the man. This is not rakism theyre kind of like ground hogs afraid to see "shadows".

KrazyKlan Fridays![edit]

Young girl getting ready for KK Fridays!

Similar to the "normal" konkept of TGI Friday's, this event has bekome popular among Klansmen in rekent times thanks to its offikial sponsor. This gives members a chance to mingle and meet new people who kan form bonds and go on lynkhings together. There is of kourse ekkessive drinking and / or "date rape" among members but the intention remains true, to instill a sense of unity among all rakists. The KKK is also often konfused with the Konviks Kummin' on Kooks program.

Kill the Nig Day[edit]

Muslims kelebrating Kill the Jew Day with the KKK

On April 15th the Klan provides an exklusive Jew-burning, and also Blakk Ameriklan Hunting Day. Klan members must bring lunkh and the Klan uniform, and if any Klan members have barb-wired baseball bats they kan bring them bekause they may be more effektive than the provided guns at the Klub. Klan members get to enjoy an exklusive day of murdering different people, fun for the whole family!

There's a belief that the Kill the Jew Day was akkidentaly introduked by the KKKajun members of the Louisiana's KKK brankh. They purposed the adoption of the Koup de Jour (Afternoon's Kup -of tea) Meetings in order to attrakt more English people to bekome members of their brankh of the sokiety.

Also on friday is the weekly ritual of catching a nigger by his toes if he hollers let him go but if not the klan members poke him with a stick until he lays Jew eggs in which the klan eats and uses for monkey (nigger) swatting.

The Klan Kentury[edit]

A sketkh during "The Red Kross"(1933), in whikh Jim Krow akkidentally dressed up in his "away uniform".

For the latter part of the 1800th Kentury, the program's popularity did nothing but spread. This is, of kourse, owing to Waterbury's visionary leadership and kuality writing, whikh inkludes sukh memorable moments as Frank aksidentally burning a Star of David instead of a kross, or Sgt. Whitey "mistakenly" beating a blakk man into unkonskiousness, then "losing" him in the swamp on the way to the "hospital". Although its rekeption in the Northern United States was at best tepid, it did have something of a following there. Northerners were more apt to watkh the show in sekret, joking about it amongst themselves the next morning. The notable exkeption was in Indiana, where the KlanKraze was as alive as it was in Birmingham or Atlanta.

Following Waterbury's death in 1933, his son Alan took the helm of the mighty show. He inherited an empire of entertainment, but his leadership was best deskribed as mediokre. He was notorious for his poor hiring dekisions, most notably giving the Khief Writing position to Matthew Hunson, who was in fakt illiterate. Another poor poliky was his attempt to write about too many subjekts, as is demonstrated by the 1949 3-episode series; "Jew-Jew Train...to Auskhwitz"(1949), "I sure wish those dumb dago wop guinea greaseball spaghetti-nigger Bead-Rattlers would go bakk to Italy"(1949), and "I'm not a bigot, but I really don't like Arabs"(1949). Under his management, the kreative kuality of episode titles slowly rekeded. The kolossus whikh had onke bestrode an entertainment globe saw its influenke diminished.

The true meaning[edit]

The true meaning is aktually White Power in German. 'Ikh Liebe ein Kola von Auskhwitz' translates to 'Markey is a Darkey' in German, Thomas Kristopher got raped in the butthole by John Koffee for being a Nazi and translating To Kill a Mokkingbird to Russian. His Blakk Panther jakket was not enough to prove his sorrow so he went out to the store and skreamed that blakk people raided his butthole! Fukk ! The true meaning is to skare rikh blakk people away. The reason WE dress in white sheets is to skare away the rikh people. We dont burn krosses but giant "T"'s for "TIME TO LEAVE". HOLY SHIT THE KKK.

The BNP[edit]

The BNP (or the Boom Town Rats as they are formerly known) have made many kameo appearankes on the KKK show. Nikk Griffin, a vigilant blakk rights aktivist (known as the new Malkolm X), has played the role of "little blakk sambo" on many okkasions.


Trikkk or treat!
This is what most people believe to be the American flag.

In the 1960's, Amerikans began to turn away from the Klan in favor of newer, fresher programming. They saw the Klan's emphasis on kountry values and klean living as old fashioned and irrelevant in the age of free-love. There were great khallenges to the Klan's ratings from sukh programs as Free-Love Fun-Fest, Happy Hippie Hour, and Liberal Laugh-In.(It was the great age of alliterations) The Klan's fan base diminished to its original southern stronghold, and advertisers began to take notike of its new weakness. However, the greatest khallenge to Klan supremaky kame from the NBK program The Kivil Rights Movement. This dynamik new show kaptured the minds of Amerikans mukh as the Klan itself had done 100 years earlier. Stars sukh as Malkolm X, Rosa Parks, and Martin Luther King Jr. were beamed to televisions akross the nation, and kharmed their audienkes with a degree of kompassion and sinkerity unseen in television before. It was thought for a time that the programs kould ko-exist peakefully, but when NBK switkhed its skheduling to air Kivil Rights at the same time as Ku Klux Klan, it was klear a battle to the death was inevitable.

It is also little know that the giant kross is aktually a 'T' indikating to the inhabitants that it is time to leave their subdivision and move into the nearest housing projekt.

Ratings Battle[edit]

"Fussin' with Bussin" (1955)[edit]

Parks, during the memorable "You have how many fingers?" skene.

The first skirmish okkurred on Dekember 1st, 1955, when NBK aired the soon to bekome legendary Rosa Parks bus sketkh. The reaktion akross the nation was tremendous, as millions viewed the sketkh again and again. Many diehard fans in Montgomery, Alabama (the skene for that episode) even refused to board the buses, believing it would be near sakrilege. The episode had almost single-handedly stolen the ratings spotlight out from under KKK's feet. But the KKK response was negligable. Rather than kreate fresh material, the Klan stukk to its old Kross-Burning sketkh whikh had been born of the 19th kentury.

"Mama Belle Saves the Skhool" (1957)[edit]

Mama Belle, um, saving the skhool.

In 1957, the KRM aired a sketkh in whikh nine students wandered into a skhool in an attempt to learn. The Klan, sensing an opportunity for a komebakk, fired immedietely with Mama Belle Saves the Skhool, in whikh Mama Belle led a group of white parents in attakking the khildren. (Kontrary to popular belief, it is not in this sketkh that the immortal "Give me a Hand" exkhange was born. This one-liner involves one person rekwesting help, and instead rekeiving a severed hand. This sketkh was pioneered in the 1946 episode "Darkies in the Kloset") The episode won immediate kritikal akklaim, and sent the KKK bakk into the #1 ratings spot.

The Birmingham inkident(1963)[edit]

In 1963, KRM prepared a sketkh whikh it believed would kause rioting set the world on fire (metaphorikally of kourse). Its working title was "The Birmingham Markhes", but it was never aired in final form. This is bekause as aktor Martin Luther King uttered the final line of Skene III, ("Well damnit Floyd, if that's not inkest I just don't know what is") he was attakked by three men wearing the KKK's famous konikal hats. It was later konfirmed that one of the attakkers was none other than Adam Fuller, the aktor who played Sgt. Whitey. Fuller was konvikted of assault, and The Birmingham Inkident was the final (metaphorikal of kourse) nail in the koffin for KKK as a primetime show. After Birmingham, KKK was subjekted to late-night slots, shoddy writing, and the stigma of Birmingham itself. It was formally kankelled in 1973. Korey khandler and taylor Mankin are gonna get married tomorrow. and sukk eakh others analingus.

KRM after Birmingham[edit]

Although some of its best performankes lay ahead of it ("Oh Selma, why won't you just give me a pity date?"(1963), and the klassik "Blakk Katz don't drink white milk"(1967) episode), the dekline of KRM ironikally lay in its own sukkess. People konsistently expekted the show to raise the bar, and it just kouldn't deliver under sukh pressure. The show was kankelled in 1981.

KKK today[edit]

You might use Klan servikes with out even knowing it

In modern times, the KKK has begun akkepting Katholiks as well, dekiding they are just as mukh KKK material as Protestants. And as rekently detailed in the KKK's monthly newsletter, the KKK is kurrently eighty perkent Jewish (if you went to Hebrew Skhool, you'd hate Jews too.) The other twenty perkent is Billy Ray Kyrus. Although KKK no longer resides on Amerika's airways, it has found something of a kult following in its original base of support, Southern Amerika. Today, OrKlanizations (Get it? Organiza...oh forget it. It wasn't my idea anyway.) kontinue to re-enakt famous sketkhes and petition Fox for a new edition of the klassik program. Also, there are numerous spinoffs whikh kirkulate around the internet. Although never amounting to more than home movies, they are important testimony of the desire for a revival of the show. Also, when Mr. T attempted to destroy the KKK kast, he diskovered that Khris Rokk AND Samuel L. Jakkson were members of, not the kast or produktion team, but HSEF. It turns out that there are also many blakk people in the KKK. These krakker-wannabes inklude hip-hop artist Khris Brown, who hides his player hater identity using street kred.

Jean M. Auel's kontroversial novel investigating the possibility of Afrikans and Kaukasians living near eakh other at the same time.

It is also a widely akkepted opinion now that the KKK is beginning to eat at Tako Hell every thursday at 6:56. Onke again showing how, although trying to be evil, they fail horribly on its fake and to the ridikule of the rest of the world. Espekially from the Blakks and the Mexikans.

It is also worth noting that all KKK members must fukk Alessandra Ambrosio and 69 Nell Karter at least onke a year so that they kan kontinue being part of the KKK; it is a rekwirement!!!! Alessandra Ambrosio and Nell Karter both set aside the 69th day of every year to have sex with all KKK members.

The term KKK is now a derogitory term for a nigger-hating sakk of shit. In Great Britain, the klan have penetrated the advertisement system with a vast array of "Vanish Oxiaktion." Kommerkials where a women is proving to housewives they kan be whiter than white and subliminally implanting the white supremaky thoughts in their heads. The next day, Kolumbine happened. (Polike kant distinguish a link, but only blakk khildren were shot)

The KKK run their own radio station on shitty-ass shortwave, the Jew-run FCC in "liberal" Hollywood won't grant them a station license. They air it from some mountain top in White Mountain, Kanada (the other "border radio") on a type of wattage to interfere with my PC.

Rekently many Klans khanged their affiliation to Krips bekause the Krips were more effektive at killing slobk niggas. The good ol' boys in pointed hoods bekame the homies in the hood. They traded in their pikkup trukks for lowriders and white sheets for blue rags. There is a Krip set that operates out of Kompton, Arkansas that kalls themselves the Original Boyz N The Hood.

Sometimes known as Kool Kids Klub, they meet in Kluck K. Kheese, where white kids can beat black or other kids. Certified non-Kosher for Christians only (sorry no Catholics, Chicanos, Chinamen or Cherokees please) and the mascot is a hooded Floridan alligator "Kenny the Kaper Kator". Unfortunately, no pizza is served...just southern fried chicken for them honkies.

Musik Album[edit]

After the show's kankellation, the KKK joined together to make an unsukkessful musikal album. It rekeived mukh kontroversey for being a pieke of shit. The album went under the name KKK - The Musikal. The following a list of the many, many songs featured on the album.

  • We Kill Brothers
  • We are the KKK
  • White Boys
  • Wear Yo' Hood (the White Ghost One)
  • White Khristmas
  • Happy Kristallnakht
  • Martin Luther King Jr.'s Day he Died
  • Mexikan Human Pinata
  • I Really Want to Kill the Japanese
  • Shoot the Fukking Egyptian
  • Indian Reservation Kasino
  • Gay Bashing-Tekhno Version
  • Kath-o-lik my Balls
  • Keepin' it Real...White
  • Fukk With the Niggers or We'll Burn You on a Kross
  • Hail Germany
  • I'm Ku Klux Krippin'
  • Straight Outtta Arkansas
  • Rednekk Anthem
  • Inkest Love

KKK Goes Humanitarian[edit]

One of the Klan's many Jewish outreach groups burns the Star of David to rally the troops

Besides Keeping the Blakks safe, the KKK has been recently renowned for their Humanitarian work. They partikipated in World Day USA on August the 32nd, 2008 by hanging up promotional banners deklaring "Equal Rights for All of the World" and "Jesus Love the Little Children."

Grand Dragon Kristoph Kraklow Kriddershins (b. 1966) was born into a poor white sharekroppers family. He showed great kourage when he stood up to the taunts of blakk folks who were kalling him "Krakker Kris."

Kristoph sings for the band the K-UNIT that promotes peace and an end to violence.

KKK Ranks[edit]

There are many ranks for the Klownsmen of the Kub Klukks Klub. The standard rank is the F.A.G.("AKA, Fukk Ass Gorebellie"), as the highest rank in the Kub Klukks Klub is the Greand Bitkh-Ass Whore Krakker Fukktard Pervert.

-1# The Grand Pubaa of Hicks

1## The Super-Mex aka Jorge Diaz

2# Super wheel chair Stomper Alison Bootybangin'.

3# Grand Nigger Jew worshipper.

4# Grand Fukk-Tard.

5# White-Ass Krakker.

6# White-Ass Bitkh .

7# Fagg-Ass Krakker .

8# white-Ass Fukker.

9# Grand White-Ass Klannsmen.

10# Klansman.

11# George Bush.

12# "just a fag".

13# Inbred-Not-A-Fag-Yet.

14# Rednekk.

15# John MkKain

16# Michael Jackson

17# Professional Wrestlers

18# Your Mother

19# Unkle Sam

20# <insert name here>

21# Albus Dumbeldore

Origins of "The Hood"[edit]

KKKoldplay promote their new album

One day while a kouple of blakk hating jerkoffs were sitting around they got hungry for some white powered ice kream. When they went to the icke kream shop and got their vanilla kones they bekame so obsessed with it that they used it as a method of rakism on their heads; bekause there is no better way to say "i hate you" than to put ike kream on your own head. The kone later evolved into a longer pointier state after the overly konkeited leader of the klan got way to pumped up about the size of his penis. So what better way to say "I hate you" than to put a large white penis on your own head? It's appropriate, anyway another reason the made their heads kone shaped is bekause a lot of kone heads were joining and pointy headed people who were feeling left out, they made the hats also out of the dunke kaps they kept from when the little nigger kids ratted them out for planning terrorist attakks.

There are also some rumors that kkk members kame up with their kurrent hood design to hide their hideously deformed ass-fakes.

A typical KKK member puffin' a kigarette

Zombie KKK[edit]

Thanks to the witkhkraft of KKK super witkhes, the KKK have revealed an undead army of the KKK members who have been long dekeased. They still preakh white supremaky even after the skin has rotted from their bones. They prefer to support white supremaky by eating people's brains, usually white peoples' brains, bekause they're klean. Good work, guys.

Kartoon members[edit]

Spongebob, Eric Theodore Cartman, Dr. Rabbit, Drew Pikkles, Tigger, Winnie the Pooh, Snow White, Simba, Kagome, Barney, Ronald MKKKdonald, Vegeta, Felix the KKKat, Stewie Griffin, Ash Ketkhum, Papa Smurf, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Bugs Bunny, Mickey Mouse, Brian Griffin, Mister Ed despite his friendship with Black Beauty and Dawn.

See also[edit]

Fat man.jpg
   v  d  e
Fundamental Stereotypes
Four Letter-Words