“In theory, a hug sounds nice. In practice, it can turn even the simplest hello into a logistical nightmare. But the most pernicious aspect of the act is the false sense of intimacy it imposes over all human relationships, from the most superficial acquaintances to the deepest friendships. It doesn’t matter if we love each other, hate each other, or don’t know each other at all — we’re all expected to awkwardly collide at the same rate, reducing a potentially intimate act into a rote affectation.” Slate’s Amanda Hess doesn’t want to hug it out.

+ How do gas pumps know when to stop?

+ There is a dog surfing competition. And there are photos.

+ These tuba players look like the sort of people who will grow up and shut down the federal government someday.