Painless Wonder

I don’t really speak about this much, but I feel pain differently from others. I have a chromosome deformity that manifests itself in a form of CIPA, Congenital Indifference to Pain with Analgesia (to see a worst case, watch the House episode called “Indifference”).
For me, it manifests in not being able to feel specific types of pain and, when I do feel pain, in someone without CIPA, it would probably be enough for them to require heavy narcotic pain relief. To me, that is a cramp. I also can not regulate my body temperature. My coworkers have nick named me The Painless Wonder.
But, it is a curse, despite what some might think.
When we are in bed and my husband wants to hold me in his arms, I can’t have any blankets on and I need a fan on me at all times.
I tend to take too-hot showers (so my water heater has a safety to I don’t burn myself).
This inability to feel pain is why my teeth have rotted out. I don’t feel a tooth ache that would signify a cavity and, even with brushing and flossing, I don’t know about a cavity until the tooth has crumbled. Still think its awesome?
When I was pregnant with my son, I was in full blown labor at 25 weeks and did not know! Thankfully, I had a doctor’s appointment and the doctor realized I was contracting in time to save him.
In the climate I live in, I constantly have a frozen bottle of water with me and I can tell you where the air flow for the air conditioner points in most public establishments.
In the winter, I rely on the actual weather app on my phone (not the WTForcast app, that is just for fun, lol) to tell me how cold it will be so I know what kind of jacket I will need because I really can’t tell myself.
I wait until others in my home are dressed before getting dressed myself to decide how many layers I need.
I have overheated at work a few times. My coworkers know what to look for to see if I need to step under the air conditioner’s vent for a moment or grab a frozen water, thankfully.
I have to keep a close eye on my blood pressure for reasons other than my heart because, if I am in serious “pain” and not feeling it, my blood pressure will skyrocket as a way of warning me.
I have broken my foot more times than I can count without knowing it, my knee cap floats, my toes have all been broken. All because I can’t feel the pain and continue to push past when a normal person would know to stop.
I have woken up after a 4 day stretch at work unable to move my back because I, again, pushed past when a normal person would have taken it easy because I didn’t feel when I strained my back.
If I drink, I don’t realize when I am drunk because I do not feel drunk. This is why I am very careful when I drink and only drink weak drinks or limit myself to one beer.
I usually do not speak publicly about this issue. It is very rare and not really something I want out there. But, a few comments from people lately have caused me to speak out. They have called me lucky and said they wish they had what I have. No, you really don’t. Trust me on this.

Marriage Part 2

Since my last post on what marriage is was such a hit, here is part 2….
Marriage is….
Going to his job after you get off work to wait for him so you can drive home together for a few extra minutes of together time.
Knowing she is uncomfortable with her long hair loose and down while out and about so you buy her cute hair clips and bandanas to wear.
Knowing he likes your hair down so you let it out of the braid or bun when at home, just to see his face light up as it cascades down your back, knowing that sight is just for him.
Going to bed hungry to make sure she has enough to eat.
Making his favorite dinner for him before he goes to work.
Its getting up early to drive her to work to spend a few extra minutes together.
Its planning to take PTO at the same time as him so you have an entire week to spend with each other.
Its turning to him with tears in your eyes after a hard day at work knowing he will let you cry it out.
Its rubbing her neck while driving home after she has had a hard day.
Its working together to make a good life for each other.
Its talking into the early hours of the morning and not running out of things to say.
Its playing the same video game together for 14 years because you both enjoy it.
Its building an archery range in the back yard because it is a shared hobby.
Its putting every spare penny, nickle, dime, quarter and dollar aside to take a dream trip on your 20th anniversary.
Its friendly teasing for the three months of the year he is older.
Its years of jokes and sleepless nights, worry and stress, love and joy.
Its everything all rolled into one package that makes your life complete.
Its not being able to picture your life without the other person.