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[–]strexpet-b 4125 points4126 points  (69 children)

Nothing has ever stressed me out more than reading that, OP. Hope someone close by can help you out

[–]sarcasonomiconUnder 500 18; August 2019[S] 2712 points2713 points  (66 children)

A thousand years have passed since I posted this, and I am still alive. Help me.

[–]EpicNoah654 609 points610 points  (20 children)

Why could'nt someone just carry you to the drug testing place

[–]TheRecognized 756 points757 points  (7 children)

Because it will take countless lifetimes for that to happen and they may not even have a cure (it was an experimental drug after all) and, even if they could cure him, as he said he has spent most of his life experience in huddled pain staring at ankles and advertisements, it would be hard to return to the real world after that.

[–]EpicNoah654 80 points81 points  (4 children)

Yeah just realised that as I was posting it, but maybe the pain of having a bullet shot through his head must hurt a lot

[–]TheRecognized 73 points74 points  (0 children)

Seems like he’s in for a living hell either way, I feel bad for the man. All he was trying to do was make a little extra money.

[–]MadMagnum69 162 points163 points  (8 children)

They've probably already lived for trillions of years at this point, getting them all the way back there would take an unfathomable amount of time. A headshot seems like the best option.

[–]BrokenBaron 59 points60 points  (7 children)

Bring the cure to OP at the station would be better.

[–]the2ndsamuraiforhire 93 points94 points  (6 children)

That would still take the same amount of time in OP’s perception

[–]BrokenBaron 41 points42 points  (5 children)

If the cure/knockout is just a needle injection or pill or something it would be faster to bring it to OP because otherwise you have to drive to OP, pick up OP, and then drive OP back.

[–]ASmallEthiopianChild 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Imagine how painful a needle would be for OP... Decades of a needle tearing through your skin being able to feel it slide into you...

[–]BrokenBaron 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Getting a shot that takes 10 years verse getting your brains blown out over 10 years. I imagine the shot would feel better even if OP didn't want to live afterwards.

[–]MadMagnum69 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Before they can do any of those they first have to find out what's really going on. The doctor told him the effects should wear off in a few hours and has no idea about what is actually happening. They probably don't have a cure, wouldn't they have just given it to him at the beginning? Even if they have a cure and somehow found out where he is and what's actually happening it would take a tremendous amount of time to get one to the other. This is torture, a headshot is probably the best possible outcome. Even if he was cured he probably wouldn't want to live. Every thought possible went through his head in a few normal minutes, imagine how he's gonna feel after a few days go by or even a few hours

[–]BrokenBaron 5 points6 points  (0 children)


No because they would not have expected the absurd outcome that came with mixing two drugs.


Of course this is an issue but I was under the assumption OP would have contacted the office of the drug rather than us.

Even if he was cured he probably wouldn't want to live.

True. Best reasoning for why there is no good solution for OP imo.

[–]lawn-mumps 143 points144 points  (0 children)

I don’t think OP can communicate with other commuters. And OP can’t understand them because of deafness

[–]--Neat-- 95 points96 points  (0 children)

It's his perception of time, they would take decades just to pick him up from the bench.

[–]Noyamanu 23 points24 points  (0 children)

It would take so long to him, painfully excruciatingly long

[–]rainee14 29 points30 points  (1 child)

But how do you judge time quantitatively if regular time is passing regardless?

[–]LampWithNoShade 1252 points1253 points  (24 children)

If your metro has a 3rd rail DO NOT touch it without getting your hand wet. With a wet hand your resistance will be 1/100th of a dry hand and touching the 3rd rail (tallest) will kill you within a fifth of a normal second.

[–]WishLab 528 points529 points  (0 children)

Reading this stressed me out almost more than the actual post.

[–]HappyMatsuda 252 points253 points  (9 children)

It seems like he has thought every conceivable thought. He has likely thought of this.

[–]Talidel 263 points264 points  (8 children)

He doesn't have access to all thoughts, just his own. If he doesn't know something, unlimited time won't suddenly make him know it.

For example, it doesn't matter how much time you have. You won't know what my next sentence on this comment would have been.

[–]HappyMatsuda 16 points17 points  (2 children)

I dont know about that. If he had thought every possible thought, he likely would've made new connections, leading to his mental "invention" of every human technological advancement.

[–]jsgrova 71 points72 points  (0 children)

That doesn't mean he'd come to the right answer

[–]L0raxx 29 points30 points  (0 children)

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice there is. In other words, without the ability to test out theories and ideas, we would be nowhere, since most technological advances take multiple trips back to the drawing board. Its also impossible to teach yourself everything without access to outside knowledge.

[–]Bartjustbart 82 points83 points  (9 children)

im stupid and i dont understand, can someone explain for me?

[–]LampWithNoShade 285 points286 points  (8 children)

Your hand dry has an ohm resistance of about 100,000. Water is a good conductor and powers it to about 1000. With the lower ohm resistance you would die and our buddy here would feel as minimum pain possible. I'm not an electrical engineer or anything so I just looked it up. If anyone knows more feel free to correct me.

[–]klaw14 100 points101 points  (1 child)

Reminds me of how little prick Percy didn't wet the sponge before he strapped it to poor Frenchy's head in The Green Mile.

[–]Bartjustbart 57 points58 points  (5 children)

thank you kind stranger

[–]Sheeporoth 356 points357 points  (2 children)

If you can feel pain for days, then you can also feel pleasure for days. Go squeeze the hog buddy.

[–]absoluteho 204 points205 points  (0 children)

Right? Someone just pass by and jack him off please.


Cumming for 1000 years seeems exhausting

[–]miracleylee 665 points666 points  (19 children)

Glenmont metro? Too close for home to me.

[–]a-living-raccoon 561 points562 points  (6 children)

Go kill op man, be a good samaritan

[–][deleted] 199 points200 points  (3 children)

Looks like someone's already on it lol

[–]monsieur_mungo 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Wait. Is this story related? It’s deleted! I must read it!

[–]miracleylee 102 points103 points  (0 children)

Looks like there are plenty others who are close. Someone else can get the thrill.

[–]graymanPRIME 127 points128 points  (5 children)

"This is a Red Line train to... GLENMONT The next stop is... SILVER SPRING Step ba- Doors Closing"

[–]Jasypt 60 points61 points  (1 child)

This is a 7000 series train

[–]yungmanjenkins 20 points21 points  (0 children)

This rings so clearly in my brain

[–]any_old_usernam 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Same here

[–]Inoundastan 12 points13 points  (0 children)


[–]HawkofDarkness 267 points268 points  (7 children)

I'm by Shady Grove so just take the red line down over and I'll take care of it for you.

[–]LolaEbolah 140 points141 points  (0 children)

I’m from DC, so I understand the true gravity of what you just said and you’re terrible.


Hey so am I! Let's kill him together!

[–]TrueBirch 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Poor OP will just have to wait for A Metro fire to finish him like the rest of us

[–]Hunter727 263 points264 points  (20 children)

Maybe try to find a way to knock yourself unconscious? If you're knocked out for like 2-3 hours in real time that would be a huge amount of rest for your thoughts. Plus, by the time you're awake the drug may be worn off, or at least closer to it.

[–]bibbly_boy 180 points181 points  (15 children)

But if he doesnt hit his head with enough force, he'd just have a super bad headache for centuries. Knocking yourself out wouldn't be a viable option I think

[–]Hunter727 58 points59 points  (13 children)

Hmm very true, maybe if they can somehow get their hands on some sort of sedative?

[–]bibbly_boy 104 points105 points  (12 children)

Isnt that basically what ambien did to him? It's supposed to put him to sleep but just made it worse right?

[–]Hunter727 55 points56 points  (10 children)

No I mean something heavy like, chloroform heavy.

[–]shybaren1 49 points50 points  (8 children)

What if he throws a brick high up, then, because he is still bound by biomechanics and the laws of physics, he wouldn't be able to move out of the way, and then, when the brick eventually hits, yes, he will be going through a couple centuries of pain, but it will eventually knock him out.

[–]sarcasonomiconUnder 500 18; August 2019[S] 87 points88 points  (7 children)

No bricks on metro platform. Eternity of suffering. Kill me.

[–]IGSRJ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Chloroform takes for God damn ever to knock someone out, and it's a carcinogen. Bad choice.

[–]TrueBirch 28 points29 points  (3 children)

Imagine thousands of years of dreams without being able to control them

[–]Hunter727 43 points44 points  (2 children)

In my opinion, better than thousands of years of staring at feet and advertisements.

[–]chzits 525 points526 points  (15 children)

Moral of the story: be careful with edibles

[–]Jmar11B 198 points199 points  (10 children)

Another moral: Ambien is some crazy drugs

[–]Alex11867 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Don't do Ambien kids

[–]renoml 25 points26 points  (0 children)

True story. That shit made me hallucinate so much.

[–]ShivasKratom3 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yea that and shrooms will do this to you

[–]akashy12 103 points104 points  (6 children)

So is your brain just fast or has your IQ also increased?

[–]polo61965 227 points228 points  (1 child)

He experienced centuries of big brain time

[–]Bot_number_1605 50 points51 points  (2 children)

Well, it probably has as an inderect result. The amount of time he has experienced has probably given him more wisdom than any other human.

[–]Valiton 59 points60 points  (1 child)

That seems like the true nightmare here. Wisdom comes from experience. He's trapped in a single, unchanging event, unable to experience anything new.

[–]Skyhawk_Illusions 317 points318 points  (18 children)

This is truly a painful way to die. I've heard of a minor anime villain killed this way and your description is quite accurate

[–]theletterQfivetimes 57 points58 points  (5 children)

You mean getting hit by a train while your perception of time is slowed billions of times over?

[–]Skyhawk_Illusions 51 points52 points  (4 children)

how about getting stabbed in the heart while your perception of time is slowed?

[–]calypso263066 188 points189 points  (0 children)

That was agonizing to read. Very good, but very horrible. You know?

[–]HEILALLAH 59 points60 points  (0 children)

alright I'm coming

[–]AwakenFromComa 137 points138 points  (0 children)

The amount of unimaginable horror this read has been is indescribable. I do not even like to think about what you’re dealing with. I know the thought is unbearable, but, shit, I hate asking this, but in the name of Science, can you endure this for the whole time? Somehow make peace, you have so much to offer to the world of Psychology. You’ve already been there for centuries, what’s a millennium? Or a few? Keep your eyes closed, and just lay there. You will be reborn, infinite in mind.

I think you will regret choosing to die, as you watch everything end. Further, the Ambien likely hasn’t fully released yet, your death my last far beyond the time you think it to.

[–]TRES_fresh 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Man, I take the red line to shady grove every day, not glenmont, so I'm sorry I can't help you.

[–]fckEAgames 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I have never been so horrified. Poor soul. I hope someone will grant you that sweet swift death of a few decades.

[–]Soupbuoi420 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Well, it's been 4 real-world hours, i hope the drugs finally wore off and your millenia of suffering ended :)

[–]FKbuki 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Such anxiety reading this..I feel for you OP..good luck...

[–]AshRavenEyes 31 points32 points  (1 child)

This is why you dont mix and match drugs.

[–]Alex11867 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Sniff some Flex Glue with this and see some Area 51 aliens for a couple millenniums.

[–]ButtFucksRUs 35 points36 points  (1 child)

I once had a dream where I woke up within my dream. Sat straight up in bed with a gasp and looked at the alarm clock on my nightstand. The numbers were jumbled and that's when I realized I was dreaming. Then this happened again, and again, and again...I stopped counting at 75 times. I realized that these wakenings were happening within a fraction of a second and I could live a thousand lifetimes lost in my own mind. Would I even know when I actually woke up? I don't know how long it went on before I legitimately woke up not too long after I'd originally fallen asleep. Maybe 5 minutes?

Suffice to say, I wasn't the same person for quite some time after that. Good luck OP.

[–]Aaron_Is_Err-n 23 points24 points  (0 children)

One of the most complete and terrifying versions of Hell I've ever read. The most chilling part?....Posted 13 hrs ago.

[–]Jangalit 25 points26 points  (2 children)

Mr David! I am so glad we finally found you! We tried to call you all morning but it looks like you don’t have your phone with you.

We sent out a equipe of doctors to take care of you but I am sorry to inform you that we mistakenly gave you a bigger dose than you should have received. The effect should last 3 hours top because of the half-life of the compound, just be careful to not mix it with any non benzodiazepines because we think that the effects could be amplified and last much more

But don’t worry after just a couples days you will feel way better

[–]LooneyBin17 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Was saving this bullet for myself,but I'm coming.Hang in there,mate,salvation is at your doorstep

[–]Mooliana 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Well, with a brain working at this speed, it must use a lot of energy, like A LOT.

So it's just a matter of time till you collaps from exhaustion?

And there's still the shock reaction from the fall / the shoulder injury that will probably kick in too at some point. Pretty life threatening afaik, but I have no clue how long that takes. But at least that's another chance of losing consciousness.

Well, at any rate: Good luck, guess you'll need it.

[–]HapticSloughton 77 points78 points  (12 children)

Question: If the drug made everything seem slow, how could you understand what the research assistant was saying at normal speed? Wouldn't their verbal communication sound like whale song at that point?

[–]edk27 139 points140 points  (0 children)

The drug hadn't fully kicked in.

[–]surprise_b1tch 106 points107 points  (0 children)

Back at the research offices, I could still hear and communicate with the research staff. But now verbal communication with anyone would be impossible. The effects of the drug were still intensifying.

[–]GONKworshipper 29 points30 points  (2 children)

Just talk really fast

[–]rimmy789 19 points20 points  (0 children)

It sounds like the effects of the drugs were getting worse. It’s perfectly possible that the assistant knowing what was happening simply spoke faster than usual to appear normal to OP. However as the effects were heightened more noticeable things began to come to light.

[–]very-likely-not-cool 14 points15 points  (0 children)

they said while in their apartment, the drug was still intensifying, not at its full effect

[–]Gamechanger501 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It seems to be that as time passed the effect of the drug increased

[–]TRES_fresh 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think it wasn't that slowed down at the beginning.

[–]a-living-raccoon 6 points7 points  (0 children)

At that point it probably just sounded like it was deeper and slower than usual

[–]HurricaneX31 21 points22 points  (2 children)

Golden Experience's primary ability cranked up to 100 be like.

[–]RetMenTos 4 points5 points  (1 child)

At this point infinite death would be a blessing imo

[–]AlexanderP04 18 points19 points  (0 children)

That is terrifying on a whole new fucking level.

[–]barreirobust 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This is the scariest thing I've ever read. And can you imagine that someone finally shoots him but it's one of those cases in which the person takes long to die? That'd be the closest thing to hell.

[–]surprise_b1tch 49 points50 points  (11 children)

Can you call the doctor's office? Have them knock you out until the drug wears off? It would take ages, but they might be able to help you.

[–]rainee14 55 points56 points  (8 children)

Exactly. I don't see why OP wouldn't have just called an ambulance, told them he took something and have them medically detox it out. Even drinking gallons of water would probably lessen the effect but instead leave and by foot/train go back to the location

[–]BrokenBaron 27 points28 points  (0 children)

It would take a long time for him to be knocked out but your more likely to get someone to knock you out then to shoot you.

[–]Snakefoxbox 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Today on fears I never knew I had: this

[–]CountryBoi69 13 points14 points  (4 children)

I'm glad you dont live near Wheaton, home to the longest escalator in this hemisphere. This one hit way too close for me.

[–]SamediB 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Good god, he posted this 11 hours ago.

[–]Cat_Amaran 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Even if the drug wore off at this point, what broken husk of a man would it have left behind? No, there's no mercy in trying to save him. The only kindness left is to kill him. He's seen too many lifetimes, suffered for an infinitely long time. He deserves the sweet release of death in the most compassionate way possible.

[–]qwaszx937 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Glenmont metro... red line... washington dc?

[–]TrueBirch 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Suburban DC, yes. I live in Washington DC and the little references are all really accurate.

[–]qwaszx937 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I lived in dc for 18 years. Used to frequent the redline a lotttttt

[–]DerekLouden 12 points13 points  (2 children)

I'm so sorry. How long has it been for you now since you posted? A century? A millenium? A universe? I hope the drug wears off soon.

[–]TrueBirch 4 points5 points  (1 child)

A kalpa or two at this point

[–]DerekLouden 5 points6 points  (0 children)

From my perspective, it has been 9 hours since you posted the original request, and 54 minutes since you replied. Has the drug worn off yet? Have you been able to finally sleep? A kalpa is an unbelievable amount of time. I don't know how you're still coherent and in any way sane. Good luck OP.

[–]kleevia 11 points12 points  (1 child)

sweet dreams are made of this


If you took an ambien, you should be asleep in a few millenia.

[–]wishfulwarnings 10 points11 points  (0 children)

reading this while waiting for the ambien to drop is scaring me out

[–]Smash_Nerd 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I have some cloreiform wipes. Don't even ask why. I can knock you out and take you back to the office. Don't worry. We can make it through this. I on my way. Hold tight, man.

[–]_theglobetrotter_ 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This may be the worst thing I’ve ever read. Not in terms of actual writing, obviously, but in how stressful it was to try to comprehend. I can’t even begin to imagine how this has been for you, man.

[–]Sablemint 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Okay, so, I tried. Problem: No one can see you. You probably saw me staring for quite some time. All I saw was like... the way things look all wavy and distorted like when you see something above a very hot heat source only a LOT more subtle. If I didn't know something was there, I never would've noticed.

On the plus side, no one will rescue you if you jump onto the tracks. But at this point Im not even sure if anything can touch you.

[–]AthiestLoki 8 points9 points  (2 children)

I'm very confused as to why absolutely no one tried to help him before he got to the bench? Surely someone saw him fall down the stairs?

[–]TrueBirch 18 points19 points  (1 child)

[–]AthiestLoki 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I guess I really shouldn't be surprised anymore.

[–]Deigo_Brando 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have no mouth but I must scream.


How do you get to chapter thirty of Moby Dick without thinking something is seriously wrong?

[–]TrueBirch 7 points8 points  (3 children)

AND without falling asleep

[–]W2BJN 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Damn OP, you shoulda just stayed in your apartment, pulled out a Hustler n rubbed one out... A 1 hour orgasm is hands down better than where you're at now. Unfortunately I am neither armed nor in your town... Best of luck to you!

[–]CKColonel 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Bro just drink milk then the effect goes away

[–]WastelandHound 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That's what you get for going to Ma-Ma's Mega City One Biomed.

[–]Monachopsisauruss 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’d think you need a blood transfusion ASAP to end this. I’m so sorry!

[–]wolfboy180 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Why did I read this.

[–]JonnyThr33 6 points7 points  (3 children)

I travel red line as well as metro buses sometimes. You see ads all the time for “test subjects”. Could never get myself to do it because of something like this.

[–]dontcareitsonlyreddi 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thoughts and prayers

[–]raine0227 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I took too many edibles once and had no perception of time. It felt like this, and was absolutely terrifying when I thought about it and peaceful in between

[–]colddeadsoul 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was addicted to meth many years ago. What you’re describing g is exactly what it feels like when you’ve been awake for 10 days straight on that devil drug. I hope your suffering ends soon OP.

[–]StarrySkye3 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry dude. I totally understand this. One time I got waaaaay too high, and my tolerance is really low. It felt like I was high for like three years instead of four hours. I had a literal ten second memory. I was anxious the whole time. Worst experience ever.

[–]RyanJitsu 6 points7 points  (0 children)

BREAKING NEWS: Homeless men under benches in subways continue to be found shout dead.

[–]RogerInNVA 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve been firing this Glock from across the station at the back of your head ... if only you could know that I have come at last to end your suffering. The more I hope for your speedy passing, though, the slower the bullet spirals in its rush to your skull.

[–]nicholastaii 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This was written in 10,000 spiritual years; 5 seconds real time

[–]xbrent07 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Orgasming in this state will feel so much better though, you should try it.

[–]Point_bleak 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is so scary, it hurts my brain. I slept after reading it and kept waking thinking it is happening with me.

[–]Silvermoon424 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This sounds like literal hell.


And today i discovered my worst nightmare. Absolutely anxiety inducing

[–]Banner-Man 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Why the fuck would you take Ambien while under the effects of an experimental drug???? Thats like rule number 1 dude dont mix drugs.

[–]Oshni 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is awful. I wish for nothing but your release from this curse.

[–]Cavelli 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Damn, what a fate. I wish I can shoot you man!

[–]j_memes 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Are you in the DC area I wanna know where you got this drug

[–]Principatus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Before you took the Ambien I was thinking, a motorbike would have been your best friend. Too bad that never happened

[–]gabbyzay 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This was so stressful to read. Someone please put this person out of their misery.

[–]rjkelly31 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Jesus, this is really scary. I was reading this too and felt like my brain was moving in fast motion and the rest of the world was in slow motion. I hope I didn't take any of that drug too.

[–]Icalasari 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hmm, if a depressant did that, then wouldn't an upper like ritalin or amphetamines counter it?

Also, how can I sign up for this trial? So long as I don't use it with sleep meds, I think I could handle the slow speeds for a while. Might actually get some fucking work done...

[–]PrincessDaisyDoll 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure how you did it, but you managed to make my existence feel slower as well. Very well done.