Sunday, February 10, 2019

A change of Heart

My mother used to say to me, "What happened to my sweet little girl?" I was in my thirties; a very driven, single, working mom with no time to think of the past. I would shrug it off, telling her I didn't know what she was talking about. Then, one day, while looking at old, family photos, I saw her... the little girl from my mother's memory. She had this incredible softness in her face and eyes; sweet was the right word, and I suddenly realized how much I had changed. I really wanted to feel that part of me again; I wanted to be "sweet."

So I went on a quest to find the real me and somewhere along this twenty-year journey, I discovered that life's trauma, drama, hurt, and woes can permanently alter us. Underneath the person we have become, there is another part of our persona that is untouched by our history. It is who we are without the tough exterior, pain, fear, guilt, and old belief systems.

The truth is we all come into the world as awesome beings full of love and potential, but so many of us are terrified to go back to that genuine state of being once we've been hurt. We are afraid because it was that vulnerable part of ourselves that unwittingly 'allowed' for all the pain and trouble in the first place. Instead, we use our memories to build armor; layering every hardship like a sheet of steel that covers our hearts and protects us from any painful impact the future might hold. Then one day we realize how well our strategy worked. We are tougher now, and the pain is gone but, unfortunately, many of our other emotions went with it.

My quandary: To continue to feel numb but stronger for having created my tough exterior, or to let go and feel 'weak' without it...? I realized that being sweet was my goal, not stupid, so I set out to gain some clarity. My reasoning: if I was going to remove the armor I spent so many years fortifying, I needed to understand the word "vulnerability."

Years later, I'm still coming into awareness about the energetic prowess of this state of being. Apparently, when it comes to self-protection, we humans have it all wrong. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is not a weakness; it's our greatest strength! And we aren't children anymore; that past we have been using as a shield has also fortified us with wisdom and awareness. We are smarter and more in tune with what is good, bad, right, and wrong. If we could allow ourselves to be as loving and vulnerable as a child while using our adult ability to soulfully discern... well, that is when we tap into ethereal power and acquire the greatest spiritual order of protection we can possibly achieve!

About being sweet... perhaps the most profound realization that came from my mother's question to me was that we don't journey to authenticity; we journey back. What we all seem to be looking for is not in our future; it can be obtained right now! It is not out there; it is in here--in our hearts--the organ we have been protecting for so long. This knowingness comforts me because our transition only relies on one decision: to believe more in the power of our love than we do in the power of our fear.

Nowadays I carry a sword of truth and a shield of love, walking into my days feeling fully protected from everything, including myself. I wonder, though, why any of us would ever come to doubt the power of love. Even crazier, I wonder why we spend so much time changing into someone else when all we really have to do to live our lives beautifully is to just be ourselves.

Friday, February 8, 2019

A Starfish Enterprise

Sunday, my son Matt came over to help with my kitchen renovation. Our goal that morning was to build a narrow base cabinet for a gliding spice rack. I expected he was going to do most of the measuring and cutting, and I would be his assistant. That was our usual mode of operation, but he had other plans.

"What's first," I asked, and he responded, "Well, I can build the cabinet myself, Mom, so I was wondering if you would build something for Kayla." (His 5-year-old daughter.) He took out his phone and showed me a picture of a desk with a matching stool they just received as a hand-me-down. Matt thought Kayla would have more support and comfort with a chair, though, so he said, "I want you to make a seat and back to go on these legs." He looked at me and waited for a response. I looked at him trying not to show panic. The truth is I've painted and refurbished plenty of furniture in my day; I've used a jigsaw and router to make all sorts of things but never actually designed and created something a person could sit on! Not wanting to disappoint my child, especially after all the hours he put into my kitchen, I said okay. Then, without skipping a beat, he added, "Oh, and we'd like it to have a starfish cut-out on the back."

The last remark put a clammy sweat on my back, but he acted like all of this was no big deal, so I suggested he cut me two pieces of plywood an inch bigger than the overall dimensions. "I'll draw some designs," I said to him, "and you can tell me how you want to proceed." "No mom," he responded. "I'll cut the wood, but it's your project. You got this."

Now, I have to explain his nonchalant approach and the energy of trust behind that last sentence... He didn't even flinch. He had so much resolve, I felt a sense of calm come over me. I started thinking, 'Well he knows my skill level; we've built numerous projects together; if he thinks I can do it, why should I doubt myself?' So I dove in, and the result is an adorable starfish chair. It took me an inordinate amount of time to draw, cut out, and sand that creature, but it actually came out better than we imagined.

A feeling of accomplishment stayed with me all week as I filled and sanded all the imperfections and then primed the chair for paint. I kept hearing my son's words, "You got this," and knew there was more to the story. I came to realize that I literally used the love I had for him to push myself out of my discomfort. It would seem, too, that I used his belief in me to overcome my own self-doubt and fear. This was a powerful realization because, honestly, I've been praying for months to overcome fear and gain the confidence I need to take on the truly inspired work I know I'm being led to do right now. And the request to take on this work is coming from a Source much higher than my kid!

It was becoming clear to me that the chair was not just a mother/son building experience; it was a Father/daughter trust building, for sure! My prayers were answered with a gift... a way to instantly stoke my bravado whenever fear and doubt creep in.

This statement, "You got this!"... when we hear it coming from God, it's like a direct spiritual order mixed with an "Atta girl!" (or boy!), and we need to start trusting and believing it. After all, the mere fact that we are being spiritually led and guided to take on a task should tell us that we are already qualified to do that task! Allowing ourselves to believe differently would mean we are actually arguing with infinite power and wisdom. How inane and unproductive is that? :-)

So you know, as I finished typing that last sentence, I suddenly felt the urge to google the spiritual meaning of a starfish. I see the words "infinite Divine love" on my computer screen and smile big at the validation. My mind wandered back to how this story all started with my son wanting to support his daughter... He had her back, so to speak, and now I am reminded that my Father has mine. How awesome is our God?

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Prevention has always been the answer.

Trying to talk our way out of addiction is like pulling the shade down on a window and expecting the sun to go down with it! Mental and emotional therapy is not enough. We have to get physical and take care of the biochemical, hormonal, and trauma-induced imbalances that led up to the perfect storm that created the disease.

We know so much more about the human psyche and body than we did a hundred years ago, and we are changing the way we treat the disease, which is great news. The big question mark is why aren't we doing more to prevent it? From kindergarten on, we need to recognize the biggest stress factors in our children's lives and eliminate what we can, while at the same time, equip our kids with the skills they will need to deal with stressors we can't control. We have to keep their bodies clean and clear of sugar and other addictive substances and habits that can lead to more powerful dopamine needs. And most importantly, we have to let them know they are more than a body with a mixed up mind. They are powerful energetic beings with amazing spiritual gifts that quantum science has been discovering and uncovering for years.

The fact is, being politically correct has made up spiritually inept! We took God out, but we never put anything powerful back in. We can change that. We can talk about spirituality as energy--the energy of love and compassion, tolerance and forgiveness, gratitude and grace. Did you know that we can measure the molecular changes that each of those emotions produces in our own bodies and in others?

The truth is we don't need to teach religion in order to fill our schools with spirit! We only need to show our children the wondrous gifts they possess. They have the tools; they just have to learn how to use them.

Monday, January 7, 2019

Ten Easy Ways to Positive Change

Ten new year's resolutions that are actually easy to stick to and will absolutely change your body, your psyche, and your life. (I know because they have changed mine!) And the best part: They don't require exercise or dieting. :-)

1. Drink less caffeinated drinks.
One cup a day can have its benefits and rewards, but more than 6 oz and you could be screwing up your entire endocrine system and more. Understand, a) it dehydrates, b) it could screw up cortisol levels, c) it can make a mess of sleep patterns, d) it is most likely filled with pesticides and chemicals, e) it is made with tap water and that has chlorine. Most people don't realize that boiling and heating chlorine makes it more powerful, not less. And what does chlorine do? It kills bacteria. What is your gut filled with? You got it: Bacteria! So if you are wondering why you have so many gut issues, then coffee, with all the stuff you put in it to make it taste better, could be the reason.

The answer is simple; start weaning. Use naturally decaffeinated coffee mixed in with your regular and slowly over the course of two weeks go down to 3/4 decaf with 1/4 regular. Use organic coffee and filtered water; stop going to Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts. You'll save a ton of money and your health if you make it fresh at home.

2. Drink more water at night. (But not bottled water; get a filter and, again, save a ton of cash while taking out the chlorine.) Drink some before going to bed or when you get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Here's the deal: Dehydration makes it impossible for your body to rebuild and repair at night. It also makes it impossible for your brain to truly rest. If you are wondering why you can't stop "thinking" all night, it could be you just need some pure water. I put Frankincense in mine and some other essential oils (Doterra brand) and it is like a health elixir... it's really helping me stay balanced.

3. Walk more. Park away from the front entrance; make two trips up and down stairs to bring up the laundry; forget the elevator and take the stairs at work... Do anything you can to add on steps. Walking was just proven to be better than yoga and cardio when it comes to retaining memory and enhancing brain function. Yes, you have probably made this commitment before and couldn't stick with it. To break out of the old and into the new, don't bother looking for a parking spot anymore; pick the first one you see and then thank yourself for doing your body the good deed.

4. Take one unhealthy personal hygiene product away from yourself per week or month. Toothpaste, liquid soap, hairspray, shampoo, skin care products... If you dare, look up the ingredients on to see what carcinogenic, endocrine interrupting, absolutely harmful chemicals are in there. I can honestly attest to the hormonal changes from my wrinkle cream! But I will admit, it took me two years to get myself to switch every single product in my bathroom and nightstand over to organic, chemical-free stuff. The reward, though, is outstanding skin covering a more hormonally balanced body. I make all my own skincare products now with essential and other natural oils... I smell like something you would want to barbeque, but I look great for my age! :-)

5. Watch less television, most especially the news, anything truly violent, and any shows with commercials. You have no idea how much negativity you are being forced to manipulate out of daily and how much brainwashing is being done on you in a day! We are bombarded every single minute with opinions and ads, and most of them are planting stressful thoughts in our minds, making us less happy and more in tune with what we don't want, rather than what we do want. Do yourself a favor, time your favorite show and keep track of its commercial segments. There are about 15 minutes of ads or more in a 30-minute show. Track their content: Prescription drugs, food, cars, weight loss programs... We are being taken advantage of when you think about the fact that we pay between $75 and $200 a month to watch over 50% commercials! If you ask me, this is insane... It's not the boob tube or the cable company that's to blame; it's us, the boob heads that are paying for and watching it!

6. Write down your most troubling thoughts on paper, then come up with a mantra that totally contradicts them. Speak the mantra every single time you have those negative thoughts. If you think you are fat, say "I love my body!" If you believe you are sick, say "I'm a self-healing machine!" If you are worried about bills, say "All I need is flowing right in towards me!" If you feel like a fraud saying these things, get over it! It is your ego that is fraudulent. You possess the two most powerful tools you will ever need to get and do anything you want. If you haven't guessed already, they are your head and your heart, and they were made to operate without boundaries, so don't start putting any on them. Repeat: "I have faith in the powers that be; I believe in me!" And if this doesn't work for you after one week, you can always go back to rehashing all the old negative crap. Remember, the only failure would be to never try.

7. Every time your mind attempts to judge someone, turn the tables on it. Ask to see their soul instead! Don't worry; you can still find things wrong with them later, but when we just try to seek goodness in people, they surprise us by showing their goodness! Stay in judgment and they will feel it and will react to it by going ego to ego with us. And how do we really want to spend our day... ego to ego or soul to soul? Knowing how truly powerful the soul is, most would choose soul every time.

8. Before getting out of bed in the morning, pledge the day. Step into it on purpose by stating it is going to be whatever it is you want it to be: Peaceful, restful, spontaneous, uplifting, productive, lucrative.... Irrespective of what you want to achieve, you have to set yourself up for it. Think about it this way, you are going to move in some sort of direction; don't you want each step to be deliberate? Time is going to be passing you by; wouldn't you rather pass through time? Bottom line, you can't help but walk into the future you are preparing for, so don't let the day just unfold. Decide what that future is so you can steer yourself right into it.

9. Clean something out. Whether it is a drawer, a closet, an entire room, the basement, garage, or attic... just start with one thing that is really bothering you and feng shui the crap out of it! I can't detail all of the energy benefits in one article, but if you can just do it, you will prove to yourself in an hour what a truly profound release this task can have on your life and psyche. Feel like the world is weighing down on you? Start with the attic. Feel like you can't stay grounded? Start with the basement. Feel like you have no idea what direction to go in? Organize your shoes in the closet! It's easy to start: Just ask yourself what your most troubling concern is right now and then walk through your living quarters (or office) with that issue in mind. Allow your inner guidance system to lead you right to the problem area. Don't say no to it! Just admit to it. You don't have to start immediately, but you do have to acknowledge it as a potential block. Then commit to doing one thing, even if it is throwing away a single piece of paper on that friggin junk pile on your desk (that directive was actually meant for me!) Allow for the new energy to take you the rest of the way when you feel led to.

10. Stop blaming; when we blame, all things stay the same. When we take personal responsibility, we go from woe is me to "Whoa, it's me!" We are, after all, the common denominators in all our life's episodes, so who else would have the power to change the future we are walking into; the people we are engaging with, the food we are eating, the life we are leading? Want to stop being a victim? Then instantly become a victor by saying, "I'm owning up to all that I am experiencing because as soon as I do, I get to change all that I am experiencing going forward!

If you have read through all ten suggestions, consider yourself already very motivated! If you want more, please allow me to shamelessly lead you to my new book, "My Mini Book of Mighty Mantras," available on Amazon. It has 369 more ideas to make all your days the most powerful and productive they can be. <3