Adriana Lima

Adriana Lima

Poor Adriana Lima.

We mean that in the metaphorical sense, obviously. Lima is one of the top-earning supermodels in the world, outpaced only by such overachievers as the indominable Heidi Klum. Being poor isn't on Lima's to-do list.

No, when we say "poor Adriana Lima" we mean, "that poor girl. Wouldn't it be awful to parade around in wrinkled satin dresses the rest of your life, sporting opera gloves like some doomed eight-year-old tart on Toddlers and Tiaras?" We're sure she's a very nice woman, but here, she's looking like she might be late for a blue movie shoot somewhere in Moldova. Or a rehearsal for Gypsy. (Same thing.)

And speaking of tiaras: that $2 million diamond-encrusted fantasy bra from Victoria's Secret is awfully pretty, but wouldn't something like that hurt? It looks kind of pointy to us.

Oh well, at least Lima gets to hang out with a vintage Rolls Royce all day. Were we in her shoes, we'd probably walk (very slowly) to the nearest pawn shop, hawk the bra, and pony up for the car -- maybe two of 'em. But then, that's probably why we aren't supermodels. Yes, that's the only reason.