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Thursday, March 3, 2016

Snap Goes The Progressive

Robert, my Lyftber driver (who bore a striking resemblance to Billy Idol), and I, got along very well. Before we knew it we were rolling down the interstate on our way downtown, chatting like old pals.

"Know any Vegas jokes?" said Robert with a sneer.

"Yeah, I know some good ones."

I told him the one about the near-sighted hooker at Caesars Palace, the high-rolling Maharaja roller with a penis as long as his wooden leg, and the ukulele-playing lesbian triplet trapeze act. I figured everyone had heard that one, but Robert hadn't.

He laughed his ass off at the punch line, pounded the turn signal, and expertly swung across four lanes of traffic to the right, to catch the downtown exit.

He let out a howling, wild yell, like a rebel might, "Whoooo hooooooooo!" he yelled, "that is some funny shit! Oh my God that's funny. You know any more? Tell me some more. More!! More!!!"

But we'd pretty much arrived at our destination, the Downtown Grand Hotel and Casino, where I had secured three comped nights, $15 free play, $15 food, and not much more.

Lyftber was a success, and I ended up paying $6 for my ride from T.I. downtown - including a $5 tip.

At the time of this trip, the CEO of the Downtown Grand was a fellow Canadian, guy by the name of Simms. And he'd put in this great promotion to change Canadian dollars at par (down to a certain level - not below 75 CAD cents on the US dollar). A great deal for a degen Canuck like me.

In fact, this promo was so successful (for players) that it is discontinued (at least, it no longer figures prominently on the DTG web page), and CEO Simms has been sent packing. A sad day for Canadian Vegas casino CEOs everywhere downtown.

I would imagine it won't be long before people are daring each other to 'spend a night alone in the old Simms place' (with apologies to Luther, and the old Simmons place).

It was a bit early to check in but I tried anyway - and used the $20 bait again. To make a long story short, I don't think it did a damn bit of good. I got exactly the room type I'd booked. Yeah it was on the side of the building I wanted, but that was hardly worth $20.

So the $20 trick bombed at the Downtown Grand.

The room wasn't ready, but the lobbyist told me if I gave her my cell number she could text me.

"Text...?" I said, "What's that?"


The Downtown Grand is starting to understand what downtown gamblers want. If only there were some.
An hour later I got a phone call and my room was ready. Meanwhile, I'd gone to the cage and done the day's dastardly dollar degen deal - $500 CAD got me $438 US of play added to my slot card.

That's a great deal, considering the dollar was worth about 70 cents US at the time. You do the math, or leave it to Jimmy Poon.

I had started playing $20 at a time, mostly on Bonus Poker. I'd play exactly the coin in to match the play I'd put on the machine, and then see what I had. If I was even or better, I'd cash out. If I was pretty close to even, I'd cash out. If I was far from even, I'd keep playing in a bid to hit evenness or lose the stake trying.

So, insert a break to haul my crap up to the room, confirm that my $20 had got me nothing, and get back down to the casino.

I decided on the bar, and played four or five different games. Nothing much was happening in the way of quads, but I was breaking even.

I was playing some Bonus Deluxe and got partway through the mini-session and I thought to myself, if I get Aces kicker on this, I'm going to be pissed.

The Aces kicker progressive on Double Double Bonus was up to $700 plus dollars. I've snapped off, in Mickey Crimm parlance, this progressive before, so why not now? Always the optimist when it comes to video poker. I switched over.

It took three hands. I held a pair of Aces (a very savvy hold in this game), and hit Draw.

Nailed it for about $734!!!!!!!!!! Oh hell, yeah!!!!

I played through the rest of my Canadian at par bucks and $15 freeplay and ended up with this.

A total of $1064.75. (Anyone want to check it?)

That, right there, is some savvy gambling.

I had an entertaining afternoon of hammering the video poker at the Grand, ending up with three Ace hands and four-to-a-Royal hands, rocking out to their 70s deep album cuts, and enjoying the feeling of having had a decent win to salvage my day.

When I took a break for dinner, I was up $270 on the day. I headed to the Four Queens.

It was a nice evening, still fairly warm out. One of my planned cost saving measures this trip was to eat a number of meals at Magnolia's using the comp dollars on my card, left over from when we were playing heavy at the Four Queens. I still had $250 or something, and with their very reasonable prices, the $250 would go a long way. I like to eat there so it was all good.
Behold - the so far unused Single Lonely Diner table - and I'm not at it!
 I ordered deep dish pizza from Chicago Brewing Company next door. I found it to have a very large crust. But it was delish!

After. In case you didn't know.
I got chatting with a guy while waiting in line to pay and mentioned that I had the deep dish pizza for the first time ever, and boy was it was good. Of course the guy has to say, "Why are you ordering deep dish pizza here? You should have it in Chicago."

Well how fucking helpful is that, exactly?

"Well, I'm here in Vegas. I'm not in Chicago."

"Well you can't get real deep dish pizza unless you're in Chicago. You shouldn't bother."

I gave up talking to the mook.

It's not like there is some special geographic magic pizza zone around a particular place on the planet that a type of food can be made there and nowhere else on earth.

It had been a long day and I had an early start for GrommetCon 2016 the next morning. I headed back to the Grand, played a few hands, and headed up to the room to prepare.

All in all it was a pretty great day.

I finished up $270 on the day. Maybe things were going my way now?

As I drifted off to sleep, I heard a distant high-pitched voice shouting from the old Simms place.

"Atta-boy, Flusher!"

In the midnight hour,
Don't cry more more more.
Click Facebook like
And you'll never be a bore.
(FB like RF, K?)


    1. I have been waiting for you to post about Chi Brew Co! LOL at the crust left there. They put way too much sauce IMO - when i go there next i'm going to make sure they desauce it to my liking.

      1. There was a lot of sauce on that pizza... I do like a lot of sauce, I usually order double sauce on their regular disk. With a pizza that deep and that 'saucy', it is hard to get it cooked and hot all the way through. And this one, now that I mention it, wasn't quite done enough. But damn I enjoyed it!

      2. RF, I can't help but wonder if Canadians have an unusual way of eating pizza. We Yanks normally eat from outside to inside. Could this have anything to do with your climate?

    2. Replies
      1. It was! A real beauty. There's nothing I love better than seeing some ridiculous prize or a progressive and saying, well, I might as well try for that. And then GETTING it! Hardly ever happens, but when it does, it's the R.F.W.

    3. after reading so many of your trip reports - I find myself talking like you write when I am playing or looking at different VP games to play - my husband does not read your TR so he thinks I am a nut! Can't wait for the next one!

      1. Sheilla, I hope you mutter 'savvy play' a lot. :) Here's a couple more for you to mutter. Pair of Queens 'Queenus Queenus in between us'. Pair of Jacks 'Jackus Jackus in the maracas'.

    4. Oh for crissakes, you know that pizza guy is the same guy who says "Where's the kicker" when he notices complete strangers getting four Aces.

      Amazing run at Downtown Grand!

      1. Oh. My. Gawd!!!! You are so right. It's like I have this Twilight Zone guy following me around, pointing out how I did life WRONG!!!! LOL!!!

    5. $1064.75 is correct! Nice work.

    6. Now that's some Real SP (Savvy Play) there, Royal!


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