First, parents at Cruz’s daughters’ private school were super pissed, sending copies of the school’s written policy to reporters outlining how Cruz’s move to have an impromptu vacation would technically take his daughters out of school for a lot longer than the weekend—you know international travel and COVID-19 and all of that. Then the images of Cruz’s walk of shame, dragging a very robust rolling luggage bag—pretty large for someone planning on turning right around. Maybe he always travels with the chains he “forged in life,” that he made “link by link, and yard by yard”?

Finally, reports came out that Sen. Ted Cruz’s original return ticket, the one that suddenly got bumped up was booked for Saturday. That’s in a lot of days from now. This bit of news led to my favorite meme of the day.

Calling Sen. Ted Cruz a hypocrite is offensive to the concept of hypocrisy at this point. He’s either a sociopath or something so hard to diagnose there will be an entire wing of psychology devoted to it at some point in the future.

Finally, Teddy shoed up on American soil where he stood in front of reporters with his spanking brand new Patagonia puffer jacket and said he “made a mistake.” But more importantly, as people chanted “resign, resign,” Ted Cruz said he made the mistake of trying to be a “good father.” Sounds a little bit like you don’t think you made a mistake. In fact it sounds a lot like your daughters made the mistake of thinking their dad wouldn’t use them as a publicity human shield to protect his political career from the slings and arrows of his historic failures as a human being and politician.

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