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Networking: What was good and bad about her approach?

Hey Lucio,

I recently made a post about a blind date between DDG (the guy on the date) and Rubi (the girl on the date).

Little backstory: Upon meeting her date, Rubi quickly realized that her date was actually a successful celebrity and music artist because, coincidentally, she follows him on Instagram. She immediately saw an opportunity to network since she is trying to gain more success in her own music endeavors.

First, Rubi steers the conversation away from small-talk towards the topic of music by complimenting DDG's work. She says, "I fuck with your music...I saw you just shot that music video. It was cute."

DDG takes this as a normal compliment, saying he appreciates it while complimenting her back on her own work.

Rubi then shifts the conversation away from music to the topic of the area by saying, "So how is LA? How is living in LA?"

This is more or less what the conversation looks like from that point:

DDG: I like it. It's a little fake out here.

Rubi: I was going to say that.

DDG: It's a little fake.

Rubi: Yeah.

DDG: It's just a little fake, just a little make-believe.

Rubi: So fake.

DDG: But at the same time, it's like...

Rubi: Money, it's fun.

DDG: You can make a lot of money out here.

Rubi: Yeah, there's hella work. I always get busy down here.

DDG: Yeah. You gotta start hittin' me up when you come out here.

Rubi: For sure, we need to get in the studio.

DDG: Okay. Oh shit (laughs), oh, let's go.

Rubi: Yeah, we need to get in the studio.

Now, at minute mark 5:20, it seemed like DDG was referring to linking up to hang out whenever she comes out to LA. For some reason, despite the context of the situation being a date, Rubi takes this as a business opportunity to let DDG know she's interested in making music with him by saying they, "Need to get into the studio".

What kind of power play is this? I don't know if she was just bringing it up to shoot her shot at a collaboration. At the same time, I'm getting the impression that she was subtly saying she would agree to hang out with him in LA if he agreed to help her with her music career.

Then, from minute mark 7:06 - 7:36, both DDG and Rubi find out that DDG is younger than Rubi while talking about their birthdays and zodiac signs. In a sneaky way, Rubi brings up how her last boyfriend was younger than her and she would never date a guy that's younger than her again, but DDG wouldn't have to worry about that since "they're not going to talk anyway because now they're business partners".

This left DDG very confused and at one point near the end of the date he even says something along the lines of, "This wasn't a blind date it was a business meeting."

What was good and bad about her networking here? Should she have brought up the idea of them working together at all during this date? How would I high-quality man have handled this situation?



P.S. I know this was a long post, but I felt the need to bring it up since there was a recent discussion about win-win frames and WIIFM/WIIFT. At one point Rubi does say she could help out DDG's career too by connecting him to other music artists that she knows, but it doesn't seem to help her situation or make her seem any less manipulative.

Ali, mate, your curiosity outstrips my forum availability :).

Some answers are particularly difficult for the time they demand -especially if one wants to do it properly-. Watching a video, analyzing it, analyzing your understanding of it, then putting down my thoughts in relation to yours, that's time-intensive.
Unluckily I can only allocate a limited amount of time to the forum.

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Hey Lucio,

I understand completely :-).

Thanks for the quick response, I appreciate the time you devote to the forum and your students.

To your continued success,


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