Before you come to therapy, ask yourself “Do I really want to GET RID of my problems?”

I love my clients. I’m sort of “close” to many of them. I have one client who I’ve been seeing for about a year. I’ve watched her build stronger relationships with friends and family. I’ve watched her grow emotionally; I’ve watched her triumphs and losses. I’ve watched her depressive and anxious episodes decrease. I’ve watched her bounce back from major work and marriage issues. I’ve watched her grow. We’ll call her Michelle.

How Michelle made the most out of therapy:

1. She attended all sessions. When she could not make it she quickly alerted me and rescheduled.
2. She showed up on time. Even early!
3. She completed assignments.
4. She kept a journal.
5. She read the books that I recommended.
6. She stepped out of her comfort zone.
7. She took the risks.
8. She was open to a new perspective.

So before you come to therapy, ask yourself:

1. “Am I really ready to embark on some type of change related to how I think and behave?”
2. “Am I amenable to constructive criticism?”
3. “Am I really ready to give 100%?”
4. “Am I being defensive or open?,” and finally
5. “Do I really want to GET RID of my problems?”

Teens & Depression: 5 Behaviors Parents CANNOT Ignore

Rachel, a 16 year old high school girl, has been experimenting with drugs, skipping school, and dieting. Would you suspect depression or dismiss these behaviors as typical “growing pains”?

Teenage depression is more than mood swings and rebellion. Like adults, teenagers encounter daily life stressors. Depressed teens “act out” in many ways. Ignoring behavior indicative of depression could prove detrimental to a teen’s life. Problems at school, drug use, and suicidality are fairly common outcomes when teenage depression is ignored or untreated. The following behaviors may be signs that your teenager is experiencing depression:

1. Substance Abuse: Teens may use drugs and alcohol to self-medicate their depressive feelings. Never dismiss drug and alcohol use as “experimentation.”

2. Rebelliousness: Yes, teens do test boundaries. However consistent rebelliousness at home and school is likely a manifestation of emotional unsteadiness, feelings of being misunderstood, or a desire to fit.

3. Body Image Issues: Body image is a concern for both teens and adults. In today’s ultra vain world teenagers also feel pressure to look a certain way—taller, thinner, more fit. Negative body image is hand in hand with depression and poor self-confidence and self esteem.

4. Cutting: Cutting is a form of self-injury wherein the individual cuts on a part of their body, usually their wrist, arm, leg, or abdomen. Cutting is a way that some people, especially kids and teens, cope with the pain of depressive feelings, past trauma, and emotional withdrawal and isolation. Cutting is a cry for help that should never be dismissed or dismissed.

5. Suicide Gestures & Remarks: “I hate this house! I just want to die.” During an argument, a parent might dismiss these remarks as teenage attention-seeking or dramatics. Any ideas, comments, or attempts related to self harm or suicide should be taken seriously. The Center for Disease Control reports that suicide is the third leading cause of death, behind accidents and homicide, of people aged 15 to 24.

Parents and others (teachers, guidance counselors, family members) in contact with teens displaying these behaviors should immediately consult a mental health professional who can appropriately engage and assess the teen.

Natasha K. Nalls is an expert in the treatment of depression, anxiety, and substance abuse disorders. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups.

Support your Teen’s Academic Achievement: Six Quick Tips

I’ve noticed a trend among teens and parents during the school year.

The trend is this: parents do not seek support and services for their teen until there is a crisis.

The most challenging scenario is when a parent comes in for psychotherapy three weeks before the end of the school year seeking behavioral modification assistance for their teen, who is weeks away from grade retention.

Many parents fail to notice that their teen is having a “problem” at school until a negative progress report is sent home, the teen is suspended from school, or a parent receives notice that their child may be retained. Yet many signs likely portended the crisis at hand, including poor study habits, behavior problems at school, and/or attention/focus/concentration problems.

Here are a few habits that even a busy parent can adopt to “be in the know” and help keep their teen on track academically:

1. Talk to your teen’s teachers often. Visit in person. Call. Email. It makes a difference when a teacher knows how to reach you and that you are a responsive and concerned parent.

2. Show up. Have you ever just “showed up” at your teen’s school? It gives you a snapshot of what your child’s school day is actually like. It lets your child know that you are familiar with his school setting, and are comfortable interacting with the faculty, staff, and campus.

3. Talk to your teen. Do you know your teen’s closet friends? Do you know their parents? Do you know about your teen’s latest crush? You should. Practice talking to your teen about anything and everything. Open communication doors so that your teen feels more comfortable discussing topics like personal relationships, decision-making, and feelings.

4. Set rules and boundaries. Every piece of research shows that teens need rules and boundaries. They need curfews. They need a routine. They need to know what is expected of them. There should be consequences when rules and agreements are broken.

5. Be emotionally supportive. Like adults, teenagers thrive on attention, emotional support, and positive feedback. Recognize your teen’s accomplishments, and nurture positive behaviors and interests.

6. Seek professional services early on. Procuring mental health services for your child may take time. In many school districts, school psychologists and social workers are extinct. Upon first indication that your teen is struggling, seek guidance from school personnel on identifying a professional in your area. Remember, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

Natasha K. Nalls, LCSW, ACSW, CAP is an expert in the treatment of epression, anxiety, and substance abuse disorders. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups.