Facebook 'Friends' Find Unimaginably Cruel Way To Kick Kweku Adoboli When He's Down


As the users of Mark Zuckerberg's poking machine among us can attest, there are many things you can expect from your Facebook friends. You can expect that they'll keep you abreast of every insignificant moment of their entire lives. You can expect that they'll post public affirmations about being "stronger than this" following a break-up or a shitty lunch. You can expect that, when taking a trip, they'll let you know the flight number, when they're on the way to the airport, going through security, sitting at the gate**, waiting to take off, defying the request to power down their phone, losing said battle, touching down on the runway, waiting for their bags and still thinking about the person across the aisle who gave them a weird vibe. You can expect that they'll upload countless photos of their trip with at least one set devoted to posing (alone) on the beach like they're shooting the god damn Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, having forced their travel companion to play photog. You can expect that they'll assume you want to be friends with their household pet. You can expect that they'll ask you to send positive thoughts into the universe when said pet when it comes down with a common cold.

As a card-carrying member of Facebook, UBS trader Kweku Adoboli was aware of the social contract one enters when becoming friends with people on the 'book and held up his end of the bargain, dutifully 'liking' the status messages of friends forced to sit through 30-minute delays at Heathrow and keeping his fingers crossed that Mr. Fluffernutterbigglesworthjosecanseconiner would recover soon. Which is why it must have stung pretty badly when, after all he's done for his so-called friends, they couldn't toss him one bone and help him out of a tight spot.

As Switzerland’s central bank imposed a limit on the franc’s appreciation against the euro on Sept. 6, UBS AG trader Kweku Adoboli’s Facebook profile had a plea for his friends: “Need a miracle.”

As you probably all know, no miracle came. Would it have killed these people, who have spent years enjoying profile pictures like the one above to have created some kind of a diversion or prayed for him or, at the very least, taken the other side of his trades? Apparently, in their minds, it would have. Well, here's a status update for you assholes: once Kweku gets out of this, consider yourselves unfriended.

If that seems harsh- good. That's how it was meant to sound. You all have blood on your hands.

UBS Gets No Miracles As Losses Lead To Arrest [Bloomberg]

**And which one, natch.


Kweku Adoboli Is A Free Man!





