No parent should have to bury their child.

And no one should be have to deal with the mental health issues that Gloucester mum Jemma Davies has been through with the stigma and judgement she has faced.

Now, ahead of Blue Monday, Jemma is speaking out about her journey with mental health, the services in Gloucestershire that have helped her and how she's now using her experiences to help others.

This is her story.

Jemma Davies
Jemma Davies

Jemma, now 34, had suffered from depression since she was a teenager studying for her GCSEs as a teenager.

She suffered with depression even more when she went to college.

"There was no specific reason," she remembers. "Things got difficult - little things that shouldn't have been a struggle were a struggle.

"I knew all my friends were under pressure as well but I couldn't cope. Everything seemed a bit more intense."

After Jemma left college she eventually stopped her medication - but this led to a dependency on alcohol to numb the condition she was living with.

She had some respite from her mental health issues when she met her husband Andy, now 33, but suffered from postnatal depression after the birth of her eldest son Michael-John, now 11.

Jemma Davies
Jemma Davies

And in 2011 Jemma and her family had the trauma of losing their second son, Benjamin.

She said: "As a parent you're not supposed to bury your child. I have never been through anything as traumatic as that before.

"I didn't know how it was going to change me. I've lost friends because they couldn't handle the fact that I would took openly about Benjamin and he's not a secret.

"But he's part of my life and our family."


What to do if you feel low





Where can I get help?

You should also go to talk to your GP.



They can also refer you on to other mental health services.

Who else can I call?






You can call the Samaritans on 116 123.


To contact the Suicide Crisis Centre, phone 07975 974455 or visit

She was then on anti-depressants for nine months. The counselling she had from the NHS made minimal difference- two sessions and she was done.

When her daughter, Jasmine-Ann, was born in 2013 - it was bittersweet for Jemma as it was filled with memories of the son they lost.

"When my daughter was born I felt I had been robbed of a happy pregnancy," she said. "Before every appointment I was wary, I had panic attacks and I was crying."

"Everything was bittersweet, almost guilt for feeling happy."

She describes her family and close friends as her "rock," but she says some people in her life at the time did not understand what she was going through.

Jemma said: "People would say "you've got a husband, house, two kids, why are you miserable?

"I felt horrifically guilty. I have got children, I've got a husband, I've got close family and friends who have been an absolute rock through everything I have been through. I have had support beyond measure.

"People would day 'it happened last year, get over it,' or 'God doesn't give you any more than you can handle.

"When you tell some people what they tend to do is pull away. They don't make any effort to understand. They just see the label and the stigma which comes with the label is massive."

Symptoms of borderline personality disorder?

These, according to the NHS, are the main symptoms of borderline personality disorder:

  • Emotional instability
  • Disturbed thinking
  • Impulsive behaviour
  • Intense but unstable relationships with others

At the end of 2015, Jemma was in the darkest place she has ever been.

Her friends and family who pulled her through but Jemma saw no way she could get back to being herself again.

She said: "At the beginning of October 2016 I couldn't leave the house without someone physically dragging me out. Life was the biggest struggle.

"When you're a mum with kids and a husband people think 'you've got everything, just pull yourself together and get over it.' At the college no one said 'pull yourself together,' they all understood.

"My family have always been my main focus. It's called a protective factor - they have been that barrier between being in a dark place and taking it too far."

Jemma Davies
Jemma Davies

She was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder in July 2016. Initially her care was in limbo - and she didn't have an appointment for three months.

"I had been told before I that suffered from bipolar disorder," she said. "When I received the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder I felt like my feet had been taken from under me.

"It was breath taking - and not in a good way."

But when she went to The Severn and Wye Recovery College in October that year, Jemma's life began to turn around.

The Recovery College provides courses and educational workshops to teach people about their own recovery and self care.

It uses people with real experiences of mental health to help people with a range of illnesses.

When Jemma, from Hardwicke, came out of the Recovery College she had a life coach which helped her get back to work.

She said: "It was the biggest help I've ever had. Everybody thinks when you hear the word 'college' that it's very academic but it's not.

"It gives you the tools and insight into the issues you might be having. The people that are in there have been through it. They have had bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, psychosis. It helped me completely."

Jemma Davies
Jemma Davies

Since June last year, Jemma has been using her experiences to help others going through similar conditions. She is a an 'expert by experience' and has helped up to 30 people taking part in Recovery College courses.

She said: "The biggest thing I have found is when people realise they are not on their own and when they realise someone else has the same issues and the same struggles. We say to someone 'I was where you are.'

"90 per cent of the time what people want is someone to hear what they have to say.

"If I can help one person realise that label doesn't doesn't define them and they are still a person with an identity - that's one of the most important things the Recovery College taught me.

"If we can get more people talking about mental health issues then we will break down the stigma and barriers and as a result people will talk more. "

So what should we do if someone we know is suffering from mental distress?

This is Jemma's advice.

She said: "I would ask them if there's anything I could do, ask if they wanted to talk.

"I would maybe research what they have and talk to them. I would ask if there's anything I could do to help them, and just be there for them.

"If you can see the person as a person rather than the condition they have, that can only be a good thing.'