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Friday, December 4, 2009

A Frankenstein Dog and Pony Show

In just a minute, I am going to give you a link.

The Senator grilling Fed Reserve Chairman Bernanke, is more or less dead on. Bernanke could care less. Why?

Because his confirmation is a done deal. So what you are about to witness is a dog and pony show. A complete waste of time, Frankenstein style. Bernanke is no free thinker. He is a good boy. Good boys keep their jobs and make their masters happy. Serving the public? Forget about it. I am surprised Bernanke didn't stifle a yawn or two. But then good boys know better.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Tiger Woods Will Always Be My Hero

Man, I get sick of writing about government all the time.

Once in awhile, I have to deviate. I have two heroes in the golf world. John Daly floats to the top because he is such an insufferable alcoholic and true under dog. My other hero is Tiger Woods for completely different reasons.

Now I have a lot in common with these two dudes. I am male, I golf, and I was once occupying the space that Daly and Woods now occupy. But Tiger, he is what I call a golf robot. Literally raised to do nothing else but become a golf warrior. Oh yeah, I remember the footage from Johnny Carson of the then-three year old Woods swinging a driver.

I have followed Woods life closely. His amatuer championships, his departure from Stanford, his interviews and open mike profanity at a British Open, the Fuzzy Zoeller black jokes. His current marriage which was arranged, I believe, through fellow golfer Jesper Parnevik. Oh yea, and I saw those nude photos of Nordegren. I mean, I thought those photos were real. Really. Lucky bastard.

Tiger hit life's lottery. One of the luckiest men in the world. He should thank God every day of his life.

And Tiger is a class act. He is squared away. I mean that dude says all the right things at the right times, he is cool and collected, and he is determined. But for all of those things, alas, Tiger was born with one huge and inescapable flaw. Yes, he is human. And worse yet, male and human. Given that damnable male DNA that says we are feel good junkies. Which loosely translated means, if men aren't having sex, they are thinking about sex. And booze and fishing. But mostly sex. That's how it is for us.

And while Oprah eviscerates men like chickens at a poultry farm, and largely ignores the failings of women...we watch. Guilty. And when women cheat, well doncha know, the men deserved it?

So when an old jaded cop, a veteran of I can't tell you how many late night and early morning confrontations and domestic melees, sees Tiger trying to flee his home at o dark thirty, I knew. I knew Tiger got busted for having that damnable male DNA. And he will have to account for his failings. He will have to disclose how much money he has given this cocktail waitress and all of the other things he did to facilitate her life. He will try to implement damage control. He will try to sort out the mess he has now created. His life and marriage will never be the same.

Tiger, welcome my brother. You have joined the ranks. You are what I always knew you were, a man. Please forgive me for ever referring to you as the "golf robot." In my eyes, you will always be the man we all wished we could be. You will always be my hero.

And just remember one last thing. Things could be worse. Thank gawd we're not Daly.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Got Balls?

I've been following a couple of stories this week. Incredible stuff.

I've been trying to decide which incident took more balls. Crashing a Presidential party and embarrassing the shit out of the Secret Service or walking up to four police officers in a public place and executing them.

I am a cause and effect guy. I immediately ask the question, were these people drunk, high, mentally ill or some combination of the three?

I mean just when did their minds say, "Hey I got a great idea. Honey, why don't you jump into that red dress of yours, I'll throw on a tux, and let's go sneak into Obama's party?" I mean, what's the goal here? Publicity? Are they swingers? Did they have some undisclosed agenda or fantasy? Were they seeking a cabinet post? Did they pay their taxes? What was the motivation?

Or all that hatred. "You know, my life is horrible. I am doomed and without hope. I mean I simply can't change my life. It's the cops fault. I think it would be a real good idea to walk down to the coffee shop and kill a bunch of them. Killing people will make me feel better. Man, I need revenge."

Interestingly enough, both cases require giant balls to pull off. And both involve the invisible hand of government. The ineptness of the great Secret Service is on display. Thank God, we pay a small army of people a fortune to do this kind of work.

But Clemmons, now he is special. A career criminal who was released by Arkansas Governor Huckabee based on the sole word of the presiding judge and some reports. Like the cops that investigated that case had no insight or no value. Let's not ask the people positioned to have the greatest insight, like the police who investigated this dude, but instead rely on a letter generated from a judge who only had access to filtered information in a sanitized court room. That makes sense.

Huckabee got a few minutes on O'Reilley's show to defend and justify his actions. Scatter some blame with Bill's help on a couple of judges in Washington State. In the end, all they represent to me is government. Without balls.

Meet today's "We got balls" contestants below. The second clip proclaims, "It's Not My Fault."

Monday, November 30, 2009

With All Due Predictability, Benny Boy Speaks Out

The Federal reserve prints your money and sets interest rates. No audit has ever been conducted of this private bank that masquerades as an arm of the Federal Government.

So as Ron Paul's bill to audit the Fed gains traction, the usual suspects emerge with the usual calm rhetoric and weak ass arguments. The biggest fraud ever perpetuated in the history of this country might finally face exposure.

There is absolutely no reason not to audit the Fed and find out what they are up to. Honest and above board operations don't clamor for secrecy. They don't fear transparency. But this one does.

Go figure. More from the current talking head here: