It serves a good purpose in the right context. Fear of being flattened by a semi prevents me from texting while driving.  I consider this fear to be healthy.

And yet, I am aware of the destruction unhealthy fear can wreak on a life.

Fear is the root of anxiety, worry, stress, and busyness.  The blocker of vulnerability, honesty, humility, and ultimately: intimacy.

Fear. The absence of trust.

What do you fear? Do you fear not mattering? Falling behind? Failing? Being alone? Rejection? Being hurt again? I see folks who fear crying because they may not be able to stop. We fear losing control. We fear our own emotions and other people’s, too! We fear sharing who we really are. We fear other people’s opinion of us.

I urge you to try and understand your fears, because only then will you be able to talk to yourself  (and others) with more with love and logic. After all, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself, right? (thanks, FDR!)

Some tips for discovering your fear:

–       Write down how you spend your time

–       Write down who and what matter most

–       Does your time and energy accurately reflect what you value most?

  • If it does, awesome–keep up the good work! Balance is a continual journey.
  • If not, why not? Is there a fear that holds you back? I understand bills must still be paid, but is there anything you can change or do to have your life reflect your values more?

We are not guaranteed tomorrow. And so I ask you, what would you do differently if you weren’t afraid? Who or what would you stop wasting your energy on? Who would you apologize to, forgive, or make time for? Who would you call? Hug? Thank? Share your feelings with?

Check out this amazing article written by a nurse about the top 5 regrets of the dying.

If it doesn’t change your life, read it again.