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St. Patrick's Day falls on a Wednesday this year.


Don't let the coronavirus prevent you from enjoying some old Irish cheer! When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When in Yakima, do what the Leprechauns do (for St. Patrick's Day).


Here are five things that every leprechaun in Yakima wishes they could have, even in the age of the coronavirus!

1. Some spending money for a meal at McGuire's Irish Pub (4807 Tieton Dr). Are they still open? Yes, and according to photos on their Facebook page, they have been pretty busy serving lunch and dinner specials. I did notice that the other day they were offering ITALIAN food for dinner at the IRISH pub. I think there's been an infiltration of Italian leprechauns at the pub! Lucky for them, Italian food happens to be my FAVORITE.

2. A to-go box from the St. Joseph Marquette Catholic School Fish Fry Fridays. The only thing missing from the meal is some good old-fashioned Southern hush puppies! Call me spoiled, if you want to, idc, idc*! If you want to have your plate of fish & chips for the St. Patrick's Day weekend, you can catch them on Friday, March 19, from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. They are offering applesauce, a pint of beer, coleslaw, and mac & cheese, but all that stuff will cost a leprechaun extra! Drive-thru to pick up your order at 202 S 3rd Street.

3. A gift card to Party City in Union Gap (17 E Valley Mall Blvd Suite #1). Every leprechaun in town can find all kinds of decorations for their social distance St. Patrick's Day party. There's so much stuff available in green and white colors, from hats, chocolate coins, plates, and cups to wigs, costumes, and bubbles!

4. A rendezvous with lads and lassies at Bill's Place (206 S 3rd Ave, Yakima). Plenty of beer, fenced patio seating if you like (they hopefully still have the heating lamps outside), and lots of happy, smiling faces of other Yakima-area leprechauns who managed to escape undetected from under the rainbow.

5. Green Beer. If a Yakima Leprechaun decides to stay home this year on St. Patrick's Day, they can still have a great time and yell "Sláinte!" into the emptiness of their living room. Just add some green food coloring and voila. (Sláinte is pronounced, slaansha, as Business Insider reminds us. You can Netflix + Chill watching Derby Girls or Far and Away with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. Perhaps watching movies about crime sprees is your jam, in that case, you should have a rewatch of Gangs of New York, or The Irishman. If none of those suggestions make you feel randy, how about looking at this list of recommended Irish movies?

One last thing! Every leprechaun in the Yakima Valley must, MUST remember to put something green on your pet, otherwise, you'll have to pinch them unless they are fish.


*idc, idc= I don't care, I don't care.

FOR SALE: Feast Yer Lovin' Leprechaun Eyes on This Pirate Ship
