The consequences of fatal domestic violence for children




1) What did the children experience?


2) Who took the children under their wings?


3) How did the children react?


4) What can we learn?

The case reports contained several learning points for mental health care:




10 thoughts on “The consequences of fatal domestic violence for children

  1. Hello,…



    Howard Lovely, Jr.

    • Hi Howard,


      Take care,

  2. Hello,

    Thank you very much for posting this article!




      All the best,


    • Hi Kate,



  5. I am a 62 year old Canadian . My father shot my mother in the back of the head 3 times with a handgun. This happened when I was 2 years old . He was sentenced to death and after an appeal the death sentence was changed to life in prison .In 1959 Canada it meant 20 years of which he got paroled after doing 1 third of that . So he kills his wife and does a little over 6 years. Who got the life sentence ?
    So I was picked by my to my aunt and uncle who came from 2 provinces away . My aunt was pregnant at the time and had a miss carrage . This was my fathers sister . My aunt gave birth to a girl a year or so later .
    So growing up was interesting . For example at Christmas I would get all these presents under thee tree and they would take photo’s of me and there daughter with all these wonderful toys , but I wasn’t allowed to play or open them . The on boxing day the toys would all go back to the store . When relatives and family friends would ask what I got for Christmas they would show the photo’s and explain that I was a monster who destroyed and broke them all .
    Some of the things I was told or over heard was things like “no son of mine would do that” or “your just like him ” things like “I wish we never picked you up” , “you look just like him” “your never going to amount to anything” . This went on from as long as I can remember to adult hood and only stopped when my aunt died a few years ago .
    I could go on about how I was a troubled student, ending up dropping out ,having many different jobs and to this day struggling with addiction . There has never been any suport or counciling except sometimes in prison.
    I hate life and really believe I was meant to die with my mom . Children should always go to some one who is not related to the murderer and never know anything about it till they are adults .
    I could go on about this but this would end up a book . Like how my dad told me who he was and what he did to my mom when I was 12 at a relatives funeral or how I recently got a transcrirpt from his trial that showed me everything he told me was a lie . Cant see how my story will help anyone. Hope NOBODY eveer has to go through the stuff that victims of
    uxoricide have to deal with.
    This is one of the few times I talked about this . good luck cause everyday is a strugle

    • Hi Kevin,

      Thank you for sharing your story here. I’m so sorry to read about the things you have endured and the lack of support. Take good care, as much as it is possible. For some other survivors, I hope your and the others’ comments here make them feel less alone. Unfortunately, domestic homicides happen more often than many people think (in the US, the estimates are that more than 3000 kids are bereaved in this way every year; the figures for Canada will be lower but still substantial) but support is still lacking in many places. Every child we can better support in the future is worth the effort, so we are continuing our work.

      All the best,

      • Your reply seems polite but is hollow to me .I was looking for more I guess . I am not long for this world and have known only anger and hate due to my own choices of substance , alcohol . and know self esteem . I was looking for the impossible cure of a pill to make all the negatives go away . Each and every day I live is a struggle and I really am living each day wishing it be my last . I can only blame myself in the end .

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