Shelly K on Real Estate, Parenting & Being Single Apr23


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Shelly K on Real Estate, Parenting & Being Single

Region Magazine presents a new series entitled –  Just ‘ASK’  –   with Shelly K. ::

In This Edition of Just ASK, Shelly K Talks About Real Estate, Parenting, and Being Single!

Shelly K on Real Estate…

Question: What should I look for when trying to find a real estate agent?
Shelly K: When it comes to the task of choosing the right person to help you find your home, most importantly, you need an agent who cares more about your needs then their own.  Personalities can certainly differ and I believe the experience of finding the right home can be more enjoyable when you are working with someone who understands this and knows how to adapt.  A big part of knowing your strength is in understanding your weaknesses.  My years in this real estate business, and working in a variety of areas, has allowed me to bring a certain level of savvy to serving my clients that many other agents just don’t have.  I believe that above all, one should serve their client with the utmost character, integrity and honor.  All of the rest just builds on that strong foundation. 

Question: What’s the difference between one agent or another?
Shelly K: All Agents claim to have knowledge, great customer service, and quite honestly we ALL have access to the exact same information.  I believe in taking time to get to know my client first, why are they moving, what is going on in their life, what are their immediate goals and how does this affect the home ownership choices.  Even things as simple as making sure my clients have the right loan program for them is important to me.  Many agents just handle “their part” of the transaction.  I have made it my business to surround myself with other professionals who have the same ethics, morals, etc. to ensure that no matter what part of the transaction my client may have needs in; they will be in great hands.

Question: Should I play it safe when selling my home?
Shelly K: Part of what makes a difference in the selling of your home, is in selecting an agent who’s partnered with a reputable company; as they have the resources and automation to ensure your home is available to all perspective buyers.  An agent who is willing to ‘get out of the box’ and not be afraid of creative ways to make your home stand out, can provide many successful results where other attempts have failed.  I just had a client who was transferred 5 months after closing on his dream home.  With some creative advertising and options for buyers, we were able to sell his home in 49 days and create a very nice profit for him, even after the 6% real estate fee.

Question: Is it OK to work with a discount broker/agent?
Shelly K: Companies that offer to cut fees usually over price the home to make up for the commission or stripped down service, marketing, or other things that will benefit you. In the end, this ultimately hurts you and the value of your home.

Shelly K on Parenting…

Question: What have you learned most from being a mom?
Shelly K: Being a mother of two children (one son and one daughter) has taught me many things. I would love to say that I deserve the Mom of the Year every year! But if you truly love your children, you will learn a great deal in the journey of doing life with them. I am so thankful for where the Lord has brought me from to be able to understand that these are two of my most treasured blessings.  The sheer joy I experience watching my 13-year-old take the pitcher’s mound or step up to bat can only be felt by truly enjoying the freedom to be there. Or knowing you helped shape this beautiful blossoming 21-year-old into a young lady with a heart bigger then Texas. Just knowing she will help this world become a better place is an emotion that is hard to explain. 

Question: Being a single mother, do you have any regrets?
Shelly K: Life is this exciting journey that most of us don’t really start to embrace until we have had some tragic event that deeply affects us.  I can’t look back with regret on the years I didn’t have this figured out. But wow! Am I so grateful to have learned this now and I hope to not only touch the lives of others every single day, but hopefully to instill this deeply into my children as well.

Question: How do you balance you career with being a mother?
Shelly K: I love the freedom that real estate affords me with my children and the events in their lives. Being there for them is critical to their personal character development. The fact that I am there to support / mentor them (mostly with loud obnoxious noise makers…LOL), is a huge plus!  I have a tradition with outside sports – I make a cowbell of team colors.  I’ll never forget my parents giving me a hard time the first time I showed up with them and then 20 minutes later asking if they could use it!  I am also saving my son’s jerseys to make a quilt for him one day.  That quilt will represent more than just the teams he played on, but it will create memories that have ultimate value for life. Investing in your children is one of the most important things a parent can do and I promise, your children could care less if you ever make partner as opposed to them feeling they are part of your team. 

Shelly K on Being Single…

Question: How do you feel about being single?
Shelly K: Being single at any age can be challenging in a world that places such a high value on finding the love of your life, getting married, buying a home and having 2.5 children.  It seems we have placed a label or some sense of failure on those who have chosen to be single until ‘the right one’ comes along.  I observe people all the time with a different “boyfriend/girlfriend” every time I turn around.  Or those who float in and out of an unhealthy relationship for months or even years with someone they know they are not compatible with.  This often results in damaged self-esteem as well.  These last few years were some of the loneliest of my life as far as having friends/family/romance around, but in the process, I found myself completely.  I discovered who I am at my best along with peace, true happiness and an ever-deepening relationship with God which put all of my priorities in order. 

Question: How can a single person best prepare for the single life?
Shelly K: One of the most important things you could do as a single is to create relationship priorities. Doing this allows you to recognize who compliments you the best.  One of my favorite sayings is, “It’s OK to be high maintenance as long as you are high performance, men buy Porsche all the time” ~ unknown.  Please don’t take this to mean we are a possession to be bought or sold, but rather it is about understanding that it’s OK to understand and desire things that work for you; especially when you are clear that you are bringing great stuff to the table yourself ! 

Question: What should single people expect in another person?
Shelly K: We are taught to not have expectations.  Really…and why not?  If I understand who I am at my best and who compliments me, should I not “expect” to see qualities that compliment that in others who are compatible with me?  I think most of us love many people in this journey, but we are not meant to build a life with everyone.  Gaining clarity has nothing to do with wanting others to change, which we are often guilty of.  True individuals leave space for others to show up just as they are.   

Question: How does modern dating differ form more traditional dating?
Shelly K: One of the challenges that singles have these days is internet technology.  It seems that some people spend more time convincing others they are someone they are not rather than just being themselves.  It has also truly hurt our communication with each other. Texts, emails, etc. have created room for error when trying to convey thoughts, plans or maybe even a desire we have from the other person.  Even little things can be taken way out of context as something can be read one way to a person and completely different to another.  Great communication is like water to a garden and allows relationships to grow & flourish.  And although texts, emails, IM’s, etc. can be great for little things such as saying hi, or conveying messages that do not require too much human emotion, some things are much better conveyed face-to-face or via phone.  I personally think most of the internet dating is a waste of time as well.  I know there are few hit and miss success stories, but overall I believe it has really sucked the romance out of getting to know someone and/or dating.  I personally don’t think meeting for a quick drink is a date, and certainly don’t feel any real sense of importance when it’s asked over a text message or through an email & certainly won’t be taking the lead on this as many women seem to have lately. 

Question: Is Shelly K going to become more modern in her singleness?
Shelly K: I realize many would say I need to get with the times, but I say no way!  Let’s take a good look at the times and current success rates of relationships and understand that maybe we better examine history a little better and take notes from our grand-parents who are celebrating 50th wedding anniversaries.  It seems we have adopted this terrible attitude towards marriage when in reality the terrible attitude should be towards how we are treating and valuing each other.  This would solve many of our problems today, not just being single.



Shelly Koehler
Real Estate Specialist
Social Entrepreneur