Monday, 1 January 2018

Efé's Thoughts in January



Mother: The most feminine non-feminist 

Yes, us vagina-proprietors have gone through a lot.

I'm sure in times like these when there's much noise and uproar over the sexual assault allegations on women in different work sectors; from political circles to the entertainment industry, brought to light by the ongoing Harvey Weinsten case, feminists feel like their role is even more validated but I beg to differ.

For the last nearly two hundred years this aspect of the equal rights phenomenon that on the surface is about social progression and female empowerment at its core seeks to destabilise and destroy the natural, divine order of things.

A self-confessed semi-Luddite, it was only two years ago when I found myself more acquainted with a little thing called social media that I became aware of the problem that is third-wave feminism.

Anytime I see the word “feminist” or even “womanist” in someone's bio it makes me cringe and roll my eyes. And just in time for Women's International Day '16 I wrote an essay as a pre-introduction to my anti-feminist sentiments. 

God forbid there are future waves of feminism because in my mind, the next wave will be a genocide campaign that seeks to eradicate the whole male gender. Including your precious little son.

Speaking of sons, men who say they are feminists are not accepted in my circle of respect because they come across as a pussy...cat.

Yes I do believe in equal pay between both genders for the same job title that comes with the same responsibilities because when it all comes down to it, it's really only about the ego and money, nothing else.

But more importantly, I believe that men and women are created in the image of God and therefore have the freedom to express themselves as creative beings within the context that glorifies their Creator.

And herein lies the problem, because everyone has different interpretations of how they can live as an individual and as it should be because we are capable of reasoning but when we start doing things that conflict with the wishes of our Creator, that becomes a big problem.

As women, from the beginning of time we have been wanting to reign control over men. Exhibit A – Eve. The battle of the sexes started in the garden of Eden.

Does anybody not find it a little curious that Satan went to Eve first? Lucifer, the craftiest of all animals (Genesis 3:1), would not have randomly chosen to go to Eve. He purposely pursued and used the woman as his instrument of choice to play out his objectives. And it was just the same thing that happened with Abraham and Sarah. It was Sarah that advised Abraham to sleep with her maid, and now we have the Ishmaelite religion of Islam.

Satan hates women(Genesis 3:15). And that's why he is loving the massive platform that feminism has in society at this present moment in time.


It's not easy, even as a Christian, to understand and accept a verse such as this, when it feels that it calls to a woman's submissive nature. What the Holy Spirit helped me understand from this verse is that this is the root of the conflict between both genders especially in the context of marriage. There will always be a power struggle between a man and a woman but the man is God's assigned leader. And because you are a leader you will lean on others for support.

And that's as far as my “feminism” goes.

Yet because this is a concept so many find hard to grasp, ultimately the one who calls the shots is usually the one who earns the most money.

One thing that needs to be made clear whether you accept it or not, is that God is the designer of life, and therefore He is a God of order. What is occurring in the world today is a maelstrom of confusion.

With that said, I understand that feminist issues in the Western world can be as simple as women who work in the office having to abide to rules that require them to wear heels, or that mothers feel that a process as natural as breast-feeding is made out to be something that they should be ashamed to do in public.

I had a conversation with a guy a while ago. This was a guy who liked me but I told him that we were not compatible and he responded by saying, if we were in Pakistan he would just kidnap me. He was half-joking.

I've had another man saying these exact words to me, “You're the type of girl that guys beat up.” All because I refused to dance with him in the club.

Whilst on another night out in London's Soho, a guy that I did not know groped my ass as I was walking into a taxi (but I then proceeded to slap the fuck out of him).

It's men like these that I've just described that I can empathise why some women hold the feminist title firmly to their chest as a badge of honour. And are so adamant in their mission of making sure that they are on an equal social, political and economical footing as men.

Yet compared to the fuckery that is happening to women in other parts of the world, all these issues are trivial. Nevertheless, I also understand that the way it affects us women is personal because when we experience something that tries to alter the way we perceive ourselves it takes a bite out of our self-esteem and worth.

Statistics from the Global Gender Gap Report show that amongst the 150 countries assessed for the report the ones said to be the worst for a woman to live in ranked the highest for femicide, child marriages, rape and FGM (Female Genital Mutilation) with Yemen ranking the lowest. The other nations that scored poorly on the report included Pakistan, Syria, Chad, Iran, Mali, Saudi Arabia, Lebanon, Morocco and Jordan.

So let's be honest with ourselves – if you live in North America, Europe or Australasia, you have it better than a lot of women in other regions of the world. Just think for a moment - when was the last time you heard of a mother paying child support?

As of the time that this essay was being written Saudi Arabia had only recently granted women the permission to drive from June 2018. The only nation in the world to have had that sort of restriction.

The difference between women's rights within Western nations and the countries previously mentioned is that dealing with such a sensitive issue in the aforementioned countries is a constitutional matter.

What feminists and social justice warriors alike do is speak to the politically-correct “one-loving” hippy geared world but don't dig deep to combat the fundamental problems troubling women and their interaction with men.

With that in mind, it is unfortunate that it is the geographical location that limits how a woman can choose to express herself as a human being.

Earlier last year, in a move totally questionable, Google fired one of its senior engineers, James Damore, who caused controversy over the statements he made in his manifesto that went viral, on why there are less women in tech and leadership roles due to the biological differences between men and women. Apparently the search engine's CEO, Sundar Pichai thought that it caused, harmful gender stereotypes”, in the workplace.

The thing I do not like the most about feminists is that they seem to not understand that the beauty of having two genders is for us to compliment one another, not be in competition.

As a woman I understand that we don't want to feel undervalued, we want to be on the front line with the men.

This couldn't be more evident in the UK where the two occasions that a female Prime Minister was elected it has been during huge crisis in the country.

Iron Lady, Margaret Thatcher longest reigning Prime Minister who helped boost the economy during the recession. And regardless of what anybody thinks of her, Theresa May she's the one stepping up to deal with crisis of Brexit. You have to be cut from a different type of cloth to be able to operate under the scrutiny that they would face daily.

Women are the caretakers.

I will conclude with one of my biggest inspirations in life, my sister, my sushi roll, Karbo. A certified paeditrician, she left her job in Taiwan, came to London got her Masters in Music Therapy, then later decided she wanted to change career path again and went on to pilot training. The fact that she has a vagina has never disturbed her from being whoever she wants to be.

Feminism is a joke. If you really want to go on your campaign, go on your campaign about women living in the bottom ten countries of the gender gap equality rankings and having to get their clitoris sliced with a blade, no anaesthesia, but do not cry over spilled milk.

Caterina's Honorable Mentions: 
Insightful articles and essays that I read related to this month's topic
