First Date Conversation Tips

by MrCasual

There are a few things that psychologists can help us with:

  1. People tend to marry people highly similar in the looks category.
  2. Women strive to marry "up" in general.
  3. People of dissimilar intelligence quotients and severely different values/interests don't have a strong enough connection/emotional bond to keep the interest level high.

That's why my goal on EVERY first date is to see if we challenge each other intellectually.

I always do a first date at a table — coffee or dinner — where I can look directly at her and see how she thinks/talks. In short, I want to know if she has enough brains/wit to interest me for an hour of conversation.

If this fails, usually you are building a relationship based on the WRONG thing.

Some GOOD signs from that hour of conversation:

  1. She's comfortable switching from light topics (movies, college majors) to heavy duty stuff (concepts, ideas, politics) without missing a beat, and she's articulate enough to express her points logically.
  2. She has an interesting life. If I figure out at this point that her major interests are clubbing, a cat, and Britney Spears, then I've only wasted an hour.
  3. You both ask each other open ended questions. If I ask her a good question (how do you feel about being an only child?), and she comes up with "never thought about it", I've only wasted an hour.
  4. After the initial nervousness, you find a comfort level in talking. It's not forced. You connect. AT this point, you're "matching" intelligence information to see if you are compatible.