You Are My Past, Present & Future

Friday, September 1, 2017

Now I don't know about you, but when it comes to peoples life stories, I'm all ears. Within reason of course. Honestly though, peoples career paths, childhood memories and relationship journeys - I'm get hooked listening. That's why today I thought I'd share mine and my partners relationship journey for any other nosy parkers out there.

Right then, let's start from the beginning. Year 10 - School - 2010. Having been put in the same class for 2 of our 3 options there wasn't really much escaping each other. Class clown, I thought he was so childish but as time went on we became closer and closer regardless. Working together in group projects and ending up in the same friendship group outside of class.

Skip time a little. Summer 2011. School has ended and we're all looking forward to college. Still in the same friendship group and going strong. My then boyfriend was a jerk to say the least and pretty much my whole friendship group were telling me to ditch him. Kallum more than others. Then, to top everything off, I found out he was actually chatting up another girl behind my back - I was (naively) distraught but my friends were there to pick up this pieces. Many nights were spent in big groups having parties in someones back garden (usually mine - cheers mum!) or spent in smaller groups having quiet nights in watching movies or playing Monopoly like the cool kids we were. These days were crucial - we ended up closer and closer ditching other friends and hanging out just the two of us. Then someone else showed an interest in me - I didn't want to confront it so horribly I played against it. Me and Kallum made a point of making our friendliness that bit more public even though nothing was really happening at this point. (Looking back that was awful but we were kids really and everything worked out. The other guy moved on pretty swiftly)

29/09/11 - 'Past'
Months and months of growing closer paid off and we made it 'official' (I mean, as official as two 16 year olds can - Facebook!). We spent the first months of college spending every minute barring class time together and still managed to keep our friendship group going.
This didn't last long however because I'm an idiot. I got weird and I called it off after about 4 months . I don't think he would be too annoyed at me saying, he was gutted. This then had a knock on effect on friendships. We both had a front on - we hated every little thing each other did and both of us would ignore one another when in our friendship group. Things got real awkward. I'd f***ed up.

This carried on for a fair few months until either one of two things happened (I can't quite remember which one of these things were the olive branch but I know it's definitely July again by this point) it was either when he lent me his entire superhero DVD collection in attempt to educate me or he came to my house to help me build my brothers birthday present. Once again from there we were pretty much inseparable. It was like nothing had changed and just a few days later he came to Chester Zoo with me and my family.

The loveliness carried on through July-January and in all honesty we were pretty much a couple. He stayed at mine numerous nights and a few cheeky kisses were shared here and there. Giving it a title was where I got scared again. I seemed to have the idea in my head that once we gave it a name it would fall to pieces - I didn't want to lose what I had so did everything I could to avoid a title. What I didn't actually realise was I was pushing him away massively and it came to a point where he hated me anyway. One long angry message from him later I was heartbroken and on my own anyway. I cried on both of our parents shoulders and cried myself to sleep pretty much every night. Things really had messed up.

As time went on I noticed he had moved on but I was just still heartbroken. I can safely say I never got over it. He'd bump into my mum at his job and tell her about all the amazing things he was doing with his life - new jobs, new house, engagement and at this point my life was taking a bit of a nose dive - in and out of jobs I hated and still living at home. If I ever happened to be with my mum when she bumped into him he would do everything to single me out from the conversation and stare through me as if I wasn't there. 3 years this lasted. 3 WHOLE YEARS. That takes me to present.

19/04/16 - 'Present'
What I didn't mention was over these 3 years every now and then I'd get the occasional like on a photo on Instagram that disappeared in minutes. I was blocked on everything more often than not so it was blatant he was snooping but to me it felt like he was just doing it to take digs and have a good old laugh. One day we bumped into him in town, in my head I was saying 'here we go again' but this time was different. He didn't stare past me. He looked a state - tired and dishevelled. He then went on to say he'd split up with his Fiancee and was sorting things out like the council tax etc. Then just a few weeks later I received a follow on Instagram - and this time it didn't disappear. I tested my luck and posted a screenshot of the 'add me' page from my Snapchat and I waited. That evening I received and add and a snap - 'how do you like the bald and beard?'. At this point I was at work and I just stood shaking like a divvy. I tested the water and replied - the biggest thing going through my head was that he was having me on and was going to be really mean to me (god knows why) but no. Conversation carried on through the evening and then in the morning when I woke up he rang me. He had just got in from a night shift and wanted to talk properly. A few days later I visited his house that he desperately wanted to show off and from there on in we spent a lot of time together. 19/04/16 - the date he asked me to be his girlfriend (always think that sounds mega cringy).

This bring us to now - we haven't had an easy 1 year 5 months but it's 100% worth it knowing we have each other. People tried to make it hard, others called us behind our backs for trying again after all the years that went by. Nevertheless, I moved in, in October and just the other week we got engaged. We have plans for the future, like getting married, buying a house and eventually having a little one. The past made us who we are today and as much as it sucked - everything happens for a reason and we are now stronger than ever.

I always think of this quote when it comes to us - because I know this time it's for keeps.

'If you love somebody let them go, for if they return, there were always yours. If they don't, they never were.'

Here's to the future.