Tuesday, June 04, 2013

JUST LISTEN!??!........

Something been bothering me, well, for a while actually. It's the feeling that no one really listens to me. 

Not when I talk about big stuff, little stuff, or even just general chatter!

My husband just looks at me, nods when he thinks its appropriate. But when I ask him what he thinks of something I've said, he'll say 'hmm, what? sorry I didn't hear you'. Nggahh.

When we go to bed, we tend to talk. Sometimes its the only time we get to talk privately. But if he doesn't like what he's hearing, he will just not answer, not at all! Before you know it.....he's asleep!! I mean What the Actual F@@k??

The thing is having 2 children, with different levels of Autism, means they NEVER listen to me. Not in a horrible bratty child sort of way. It's just that Autistic children don't really respond well to voices and people.  I've never really understood that part of autism, I've just accepted it. I do know it's why young children with ASD have they're hearing tested before any official diagnosis. 

Over the years I've just learnt to make sure they're listening when I talk. With little A I have to be pointing at my lips, it gets him focused. With RJ........well that's kind of a lost cause! I don't mean to be mean but, well I'll give you an example....

The other day I was feeding our pets, in the kitchen, by the *OPEN* door into the conservatory. RJ was helping me by bringing the food bowls, then taking them back out, filled. We feed the cat in the conservatory, because we can shut the door and stop the dog pinching it after he's eaten his.

So RJ takes the cat's bowl out, and I say to him, as he's coming back for the dog's bowl...
'don't forget to shut the door' nodding my head in the open doors direction.

He walks through said door, leaves it open.....and walks towards the *CLOSED* laundry room door, looks at it, then looks at me. Now I know I should find this funny, but it was the end of half term week. A week of nobody listening to a word I say. All I could do was look at him........and kick the door shut!

This is typical of RJ, even if he's looking directly at you, the words are not necessarily going in.

This has all been brought even more to the front of my mind as, yesterday, I took my biggest boy, KJ, out to lunch. The other 2 were back in school, but his school had a training day. It was the perfect opportunity to spend some, very rare, time alone with him. It was bliss!

He is growing into a wonderful young man. I always feel bad that he had to mature before his friends, because of our home situation. But yesterday showed me that it's not all bad. We talked all through dinner, about anything and everything. It was an utter joy!

Then I get home.........

Hubby can really only do one thing at a time, if he's watching the T.V. he can't hear you talk! RJ and little A can't help it, its just a 'symptom'. Oh and did I forget to mention.........

The dog's deaf!!!!



  1. haha i think its a familiar feeling for all mums everywhere! Thats why so many of us blog, cos at least then someone is listening!!

    1. Well thank you for listening to me!! haha x

  2. helen michelle white4 June 2013 at 23:24

    Always here to lisen to you i think you are a great mum putting your self down after one of thoughs weeks just call if you need a hand or a ear xx

  3. I hear you! Just wanted to let you know you're not alone and one other thing... I'm not sure autism is entirely to blame, there's another condition that causes deafness it's called being male. With three men in my house I'm always talking to myself because I'm the only one that listens!

  4. I know exactly how you are feeling. And def agree with Lou, it has a lot to do with the fact they are male. I will tell Matt something and make sure he's listening as I don't want to repeat myself. Few hours later he asks me a question relating to what I have told him earlier. I just give him a look, the look as if to say, if Cameron wasn't hear I would punch you. He knows then that he hasn't been listening AGAIN!!

    Thank you for linking up with the Weekend Blog hop

    Hope to see you again this weekend

    Laura x x x

