June 2010 Birth Club

Losing patience with baby

I feel so guilty. I lost a bit of patience with Alek earlier.

I was trying to put him to sleep on my chest like I do for every nap. He was being particularly fussy and moving his head from side, and I had to keep giving his soother every time. I was getting irritated and I put the soother in his mouth a little hard and it made him cry. It wasn't hard enough to hurt him but I think he may have felt my frustration. I immediately felt guilty and cuddled him for the rest of the afternoon. 

He's such a good baby who never cries so I feel like such a bad mom for losing patience over a little thing. I know a lot of you are having a much harder time especially parents of colicky babies. It made me feel like a failure :(

comments (17)

  • :(

    I've felt impatient with my LO sometimes as well. Usually when I know he is fed/changed/warm enough/etc and he's still fussy. I just put him down in his crib and walk away for a minute to clear my head, take a few deep breaths, and realize that he's just communicating the only way he knows how.

    I know how you feel. You are not a failure! Now that you know it can happen, just set him down or pass him off to someone else for a moment to regain your composure.

    Hang in there, momma!!!

  • Awww... we have ALL been there- trust me! The good thing is that he won't remember it, so don't worry! Whenever I lose my patience with my 3 year old, or my 11 week old, I always apologize to them verbally and physically with lots of hugs & kisses and make sure they know that I love them SO much. Helps them to know that I am human too- and hopefully when they make mistakes they will know that they can apologize and we will forgive them and love them just the same!

    One technique that I use when really frustrated is walk away from the baby... even if he's crying... and take 2 minutes in my room... breathing and telling myself "he's just a baby." Really works wonders! And you're right... the baby definitely feels your frustration!

    Hang in there girl!

  • I've lost my patience with LO a couple times- but not nearly as often as I do with my 3yo. It's almost daily with her at this point. I do feel bad, but it's just part of parenthood. Sometimes I wonder if I was cut out for this mommy thing. I've always had very low amounts of patience- not so good with kids. Pout

  • Oh lord, don't feel like a failure. I lose patience way to often. My PPD/PPA makes things difficult and I have such a short fuse. I have had to walk away from BOTH my boys at one point or another. Babies definitely sense when something is wrong. Today, I was so sick (I have food poisoning) and normally he is such a fussy baby all day every day. Today... he slept ALL day (woke to eat but went RIGHT back down). We cuddled in bed all day. I think he sensed that I was so sick. I know it wasn't a growth spurt cause he just had that last week. When I get frustrated with him, it usually makes the situation worse. He cries more and it's just not good for either use. Good luck Mama! It happens to everyone.

  • Aww you are not!  I felt myself get flustrated too and my LO won't take a paci hardly at all.  I put it in and moved it around.  I felt myself getting upset b/c I knew what he needed and I couldn't give it to him (sleep).  When I felt like that I just said "fine, I'm going to the bathroom!".  So, I went and poof he went to sleep.  Sometimes you just need a minute...

    ...and apparently they do too!  lol

  • We all lose our patience and if anyone tells you they don't...they are lying!  Sometimes we just get frustrated, it's as simple as that.

  • Every mother does it. I felt like crap when it happened with Ashley the first time, I mean here she is, this tiny thing battling congestive heart failure, having to go through weekly blood draws, weigh ins, echos, ecgs, you name it, needs open heart surgery and I got MAD and frustrated at her because she wouldn't settle. I just felt like what kind of mother am I???? Simple - a tired and stressed one, and even more so, a NORMAL mother.

  • I've done that too....sometimes it's hard to stay calm with a fussy baby. I've gotten better with patience as time goes aren't a bad mom. Let yourself calm down and put the baby in a safe place like a crib or bouncer for like 5 minutes and go somewhere to calm down. I've done that a few times when he is fed and changed and get keeps fussing. He isnt a self soother so he is always screaming so loud when i come back from those little short breaks lol

  • A crying baby can test the patience of a saint.  I'm usually a very patient person and even I've had my moments when I feel like I'm going to pull my hair out, especially when I'm sleep deprived. The other night LO was up from 1am to 4am and at one point I just handed him over to DH, yelled "I don't care if he's hungry, tired, whatever!" and walked out of the room because I couldn't take it anymore. I went downstairs and laid on the couch for 15 minutes and that was enough to help me clear my head. I think it's just the frustration of not knowing exactly what our LO needs at that moment to help them stop crying that gets to us. Don't feel like failure.

  • I know how you feel. I did the same thing way early this morn. she never wakes up in the middle of the night but for some reason she did and we had a bad cry fest. after she calmed down and i did the same i cried my eyes out. i feel soooo bad for getting upset and i know she felt that i was. it broke my heart and i have held,kissed,hugged snuggled her all day even with what little sleep ive gotten. don't think you are a failure though, it does happen. you have to just turn around and show them how much you love them. it will be ok even though you may feel like your being mean/cranky and so on. when i talked with my hubby this morn after he got home from work he told me not to worry to just calm down. he hugged me and kissed me and told me im a wonderful mom and that sometimes getting upset happens just to try and remember to keep myself in check as best as i can. like its been said, it will be ok just take a step back and take a short break.