August 16th 2020 5:22am Sunday

Something about writing out todays date as a bold title to the top of this concoction of word soup gives me a sense of knowing when and where I am at and best get it out of the way first thing in the morning because you are way more open to just doing things without all the sugar in your way. Sugar really is the killer , and I have come to this conclusion time and time again. All the bad kinds of sugars too like the ones ya dan’t realize you are ingesting like in breads and alcohol. That stuff just turns into body fat immediately when held in excess. The urge to consume things such as pizza, or hoagies, or fast food has become tooo deeply woven into the needs systems of your body. Probably through abundances of the billions of micro bacteria living and dying just to get a chance to feast on all the pizza they can get. What happens when the supply runs out? The microbes tell your body they are helping it out by consuming the pizza then in turn the community demands more pizza to help out getting rid of. We end up sorta helping each other out, how about mico? that can be the microbes communities name. Mico loves pizza and uses it to generate energy to consume more pizza. It plays out like, the human that mico exists inside but kinda outside in consumes some pizza and mico get to consume it too. Mico multiplies exponentially while the pizza is still around. Yo then there is another “culture” that lives to eat kale. Now we got an epic battle of microbial proportions! The mico community and all other powerful microbe communities have an ability to hack into the human and drive them towards more of what they thrive off of. They become one of many wants and needs being hurled at an overloaded decision making center. Hurled? Maybe, but for real writing and thinking about it as if to make something up a story or what not is so taxing. Just a couple sentences that circle a central idea just took a while. It’s really just the speed. You want to be able to do it faster but you are just first learning so you’re going be kinda slow and sucky… Thats what you do when you are starting, but the ego won’t let that happen. I was having the thoughts about the gut cultures having some epic battle fighting for territory and control over the human. There are two main teams that have been forced to coexist. A culture that prefers pizza and cake, and a culture that prefers fruits and vegetables. There are many other cultures around that contribute to both or either culture. I blanked for too long thinking bout this story. I’m kind of over it already, kind of not. This is the problem, making the decision and following through. You are smart enough to know that it has to do with the amount of options you present yourself and the lack in willpower due to whatever excuses are there for you. You also know that by making a decision to complete something you limit the amount of options by making anything else less important. So do it, make a plan, where do you want to be in a year? five? twenty? I know there are infinite amounts of options but you really have to just choose something and go for it. Ok! I choose wizard! Twenty year plan to become a wizard by 52 let’s get this. The number one thing I should focus on as a young person is physical health, which includes mental health, which I would assume includes magical health as well. They all work with each other. What other first steps would you have to take to be a wizard? Maybe I should read Harry Potter? Pushing the limits of your nervous system through not only exercise but acts of physicalness, and will power. Escape from certain death like some theatrical magician. Then doubt kicks in almost immediately. Yes I am going to be a wizard I say! Wellll this other voice chimes in and says do you really really want that? That sounds pretty tough, and you might not even like it when you get there, and it would sure be a big old waste of time to want to do something and then find out once you are doing it you don’t really like it so much. That “voice” pattern, habit, flows out so sure of it’s unsureness. “It” definitely has ulterior motives. “It” is getting something out of keeping you away that from which you might put you in a situation where “it” has to compromise. “It” never wants to compromise safety… 789 6:19am

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