The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Families- Faith & Support

When you have NO IDEA that something is "controversial"

Are you ever completely shocked to find yourself in an argument with someone about something you NEVER imagined was controversial? It seems to happen to me a lot lately, LOL.

About a week ago, my family's sample ballots for California's upcoming primary election came in the mail.  When I gave my 18-almost-19 yo daughter hers and reminded her when the election is, she gave me sort of a grunt.  I thought maybe she was annoyed by having to find time in her schedule to go vote in person that day (there wasn't time to submit a request to vote by mail), so I lightly chastised her about it being her civic duty.  Suddenly, she flipped out and went into an hour-long tirade about how people of her generation are INTENTIONALLY not voting, because they don't like any of the candidates or ballot issues.  Taken aback, I tried to explain that, while it may sometimes feel like you're voting for the lesser evil (rather than your ideal choice), it's important to vote, because otherwise, your voice isn't heard and someone else (like the dreaded "boomers") is calling all the shots.  She continued her rant by telling me that her generation is "boycotting" elections, because if all of them refuse to vote, it will somehow "force" the country to change the way things are done.  It made pretty much ZERO sense, and she insists that she, personally,  WILL vote, because she feels she should, but that she supports her generation's "boycott" of the election process.  I was pretty much stunned by this whole conversation.  Blew my mind that people actually thought they were "rebelling" and "boycotting" by not participating in elections, but it still makes no sense to me.

Another one: my kids have all become blood donors at age 16, and we think it's a wonderful community service and super important thing to do.  I realize that some people (such as Jehovah's Witnesses) don't do it for religious reasons, and that's fine.  But I would never have thought donating blood would be controversial with members of the church.  Weirdly, one of my kids recently invited a friend (from an active member family) to go donate blood with her, and was rebuffed by the friend's parents.  It seems that the parents believe that blood banks don't use the blood ethically somehow?  They think the blood bank might be secretly selling the blood for money, or giving it to organizations that use it for some sort of illicit or immoral purpose, so they refuse to donate blood or let their kids donate.  Like, what the actual heck??? I would never have dreamed that any member of the church thought blood donation was anything other than altruistic.

Have you had experiences like this, where something you thought society at large saw as a GOOD thing was actually controversial or "bad" to someone you knew?  Obviously, some things are fraught with controversy, and I'm not trying to bring up those sorts of topics, but I mean like... things you never dreamed anyone close to you found questionable, haha.

comments (28)

  • My sister & her dh do not vote for similar reasons as your dd. They are 40+. My ex-h (50+) didn’t vote for a long time for the same reasons. I finally convinced him that since he was a legal citizen it was his responsibility to vote. He did and actually enjoyed the process.

    I think it is humorous that your Ds’s generation thinks they are being original in their choice not to vote. 🤣😎

    In my neighborhood there is controversy over those that choose to exercise in the garage with the door open. It’s not against the CCRs or any noise related violations. I tried to be the voice of reason saying it’s better than a garage band practice.
  • My husband, 36, doesnt vote either because he just has zero political leanings(we are working on it, he is plenty opinionated🤐;). However my patriarchal blessing mentions my civic duty to God and country, so I'm commited!
  • I know a lot of young people & they all vote. & March for that matter. Your DD is hanging out with the wrong crowd if they think the way to change things is to do nothing.

    One thing I’m passionate about is environmental issues & I’m always surprised when people don’t care about our children having things like clean air & water.
  • Auntie2RJ said:
    My sister & her dh do not vote for similar reasons as your dd. The…
    What exactly about exercising if objectionable?
  • mrsbearchicken said:
    I know a lot of young people & they all vote. & March for that…

    I completely agree with you. DH and I are... rather more left-leaning that most members of the church... and have raised our kids that way. I don't want to start any political drama here (there's enough of that on my Facebook feed, LOL), but DD is actually quite passionate about several key political issues, so I would've thought she'd be eager for the upcoming election(s) to help change some things. And she DID say that she, personally, ABSOLUTELY plans to vote, but she was very... vehement... about her support of these friends who think the way to change the world's/country's/whatever's problems is to "boycott" voting, because they think this will somehow revolutionize the American political system. This makes ZERO sense to me, and I don't think very highly of friends who think the way to change things is to do nothing and hope that forces everyone else to cater to them, but what do I know? When you're 18, almost everyone over 30 is a clueless idiot. ;)

  • mrsbearchicken said:
    What exactly about exercising if objectionable?
    The noise their weights make when they are dropped. The female’s choice of work out clothes. How they work out every day. How the female’s body looks too masculine.

    Keep in mind these are all non-LDS people, so modesty for garments is not a factor here.

    It was quite the controversy when we moved into the neighborhood. Having met the folks that are working out, they are super nice. I actually participate in the same work outs sometimes as a group. (My solo ones are done inside for my own preference.) I can only imagine the controversy of the fear of fit neighbors! 🤣
  • I usually cause the controversy. I tell someone we should check the rules, instead of doing it the way it's been done for years. I think change is good and needed. The teachers can bring their own dinner to conferences if the PTA can't get volunteers for the potluck.

    I have shocked and appalled many with my radical ways. Basically I'm not 70 and I think for myself. And I live in Utah.

    Voting, I didnt vote for years. A lot of it had to do with being young and some with my profession, govt auditor. I struggle with choosing one bad candidate over another. I'm now older and once again work in govt in a role close to elected officials. Now all I want to do is vote the idiots out. I've considered running for office myself. But I don't fall in the right wing mold, so my chances are slim.

  • I had a college roommate who thought organ donation was not right. She had been taught that a person had to remain whole in order to be resurrected.
  • I’m dumb-founded they think they can change the world by making their voices not heard, but whatever I guess. 😂

    One I thought of is grocery shopping. I occasionally go to the ward play group. Sometimes I enjoy adult conversations and others these moms are too much. One week, someone asked where people go grocery shopping and it turned into such a heated debate and some major put downs. It was craziness. I had no idea people cared about where other people shop, or were so passionate about their own grocery store preference. It’s honestly something I don’t put that much thought into.
  • 5moonbeams4me said:
    I had a college roommate who thought organ donation was not right. She…

    I think this might be one of those "Mormon myths" or things that older generations sort of mistakenly believed. I've heard older people say both that they didn't believe in organ donation, or that they didn't believe in cremation, because of a need to keep the body intact for resurrection. Newsflash: even if you're just buried, your body isn't going to stay intact long-term. If Heavenly Father has the power to resurrect people who've totally decomposed, I think He call still do it if you've donated your organs or been cremated. ;)