When you do not find the goal of your life: become a benevolent bystander

Okay, this will be simpler than you would think. I will not talk about the magic meaning of life and things about these great unanswered questions. I will keep it simple.

I want to talk about that inner question, and also drive, that pops up in us from time to time and makes us go forwards. And this is: why cannot I achieve this and that in my life?

Now, this usually comes from jealousy, because we want to achieve what someone else achieved and we deal with other people instead of looking into ourselves.

I want to tell you some personal experience in order for you to understand how the search goes. Since my main occupation is programming, I tried out many things in this field to make money or become famous. It simply does not work this way. If you are not meant to do a thing, you will not, or very hardly succeed. When not walking on the right road, things just do not add up.

When you want to achieve something in your life, the first question should be: is it for you? Is it worth putting in energy, if you are not good in that field, or if it is not meant for you? Of course, if you want it, go get it. But life is much easier if you do what you are meant to do. For example I cannot keep up all the blogs I wanted to bring to glory, because I cannot come up with enough original content. I cannot come up with a super application or software package to sell so I can make a lot of money. Simply it is not meant for me. The only thing that always made me happy and was good in is writing poems. So, what is the deduction from all this?

Since I am pretty good in what I do (programming), I make money by working for others, realizing their dreams. At first this bothered me a lot, because I was not able to achieve my own dreams. Tho things changed: I realized, that I have no dreams (this is dead serious, I had some thoughts in my head, but no life-long dreams), so what should I achieve, if there is nothing to achieve? The second thing was the change of my view about the world. After a deep depression I realized, that the only real value in life is enjoying it, even with everything bad in it.

So, I realized that probably the meaning of my life is to help others with my knowledge. To make their dreams come true. And every time I do so, I feel good and happy for them, even if I get no fame out of it. What if my goal in life is not to pursue my dreams, but to be a bystander, observing and helping where needed?

Since probably I am not the only one thinking about this, I want to tell you all out there, the ones who do not find meaning in their lives because they cannot achieve this or that:

“Do not despair, just enjoy life how it is. Stand by and observe. If you can help, help. If you cannot help, do nothing. The meaning of life is not always being the best.” (Gadratil)

How someone can change totally because of a small thing

People change in many ways. Experiences always change us a little bit, and the more experiences we have, the more we change. However, with age, the number of changes get high and we change harder and harder, because we build a lot of walls around us and we enforce the existing ones. Every experience we live makes our walls stronger. This is why people get stubborn with age, they change harder and harder.

There is however a property we can learn or encounter as experience. This is openness. If someone is open to change and can hold to this personal property, one can always change in very unexpected ways.

For example: I was always a person, who liked challenge, liked to travel and experience new and exciting things. But, because of a small experience I had, I changed. Now I want to stay near my home and build a future. It is a totally strange thing for me, to change in this way.

I thought about this a lot. I still do not know the cause, but it has to do something with the realization that I enjoy creating useful things around me. And traveling and just messing around is not creating any value.

So, this small realization played the main role of a huge change.

I am fairly certain that other people have such changes in their lives and this usually happens when one has enough experience to not thrive for the great mysteries of life anymore, but just enjoy every minute of it.
