Some things I’ve noticed from derby…




4. My cats will always sniff my shoes after practice and make the “stinky face”.

5. It is quite possible that my neighbors think I’m a hooker. I walk out of the house at odd hours in panties, tights, knee high socks, and carrying a suitcase. (for my skates) Sometimes, when we have an event, I’m wearing hot pants and a corset, or a tutu, or some other mad get up. I come home after several hours limping and bow legged. They don’t let their children talk to me anymore…



8. I have forgotten that “normal” people will not respond with the same amount of delight that I am used to when I pull my pants down in public and show them THE BIGGEST ASS BRUISE EVER.

9. Ditto for the bruises on my boobs.

10. When the people come to your door and asked whether or not you are saved, it’s apparently not OK to burst into a chorus of Uncle Leon and the Alibis, “Roller Derby Saved My Soul”.



13. If someone grabs my ass at a bar, I don’t get pissed. I just assume it’s a derby girl. (If it’s not, I fully expect all my fellow girls to bring the pain)



16. It’s a lot harder to get a black eye than movies and books lead you to believe.

17. Ditto for split lip.