The "Jealousy Predicament" Is Quite The Conundrum



Jealousy: How Much Is Too Much?

However, there is a fine line between productive jealousy and destructive jealousy. That's when it turns to obsession. Obsessions don't always focus on the "other person," although that's common: jealousy can lead to an obsession over timing (When did this start? How long has it been going on?) or comparisons, or simply a thirst for information. If your quest for information is fueled by jealousy, nothing will ever be enough.

But here are a few things to remember:

  • It's completely normal to feel jealous after losing trust
  • There's a big difference between destructive and productive jealousy
  • Processing your own jealousy and analyzing your reasons behind it is necessary to moving forward in a healthy, secure relationship


Allowing Vulnerability
At the end of the day, jealousy makes each of us vulnerable. And if you have recently been hurt, the last thing you want to do is be vulnerable in front of your partner. But Perel says that giving yourself permission to really feel jealousy, and eventually let it go, will save you months of pain. "To acknowledge jealousy is to admit love, competition, and comparison - all of which expose vulnerability." And vulnerability is how you get trust to grow.

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