Do you care about the size of your junk? If so, why?

AskMen Original
loadedbakedpopaypo 6760 2021-09-12 19:44:16

I keep seeing this thing on TikTok where the caption says something like, “when she says, ‘your size is perfect, the bigger ones hurt!’” and it’s a clip of them sitting in the shower with clothes on lol.

Like is it an ego thing, or? Because truly, most of us prefer the average size! Too big does hurt :(

I just want some perspective on why size seems to be more important to men than women.

Edit: I don’t want to exclude any genders or sexualities here! I’m a bi-woman, possibly NB, not caring enough for a title nor to explore it yet. Just wanted to throw out there- this post is for all penis givers and takers :) I wrote this quickly after watching a heterosexual-relationship based clip.

creamer3369 4388 3h44m

Dude growing up I always thought I had a small dick. But then I started having sex. Multiple long term girlfriend and multiple one night stands. Zero complaints. Too much pressure is put on dick size.

Arcapella 1590 5h1m

Size doesn't matter y'all!

Same and I haven't thought about it in a while but when my current GF told me she's had bigger my heart broke in two

rj2896 1238 5h58m

Lol bro why would she say that

Arcapella 730 6h13m

She wasn’t doing it to be mean, it just came up. She probably didn’t consider how it’d make me feel

Rickst4r 505 6h53m

If she not Complaining don't sweat it.

Arcapella 341 8h32m

She absolutely loves my dick so no worries there. It’s really all in my head. I forgot she even told me that until reading this thread and I’m sure I’ll forget about it tomorrow

ToxicCrux 82 14h13m

Bro forget about it. You prolly had a girl with bigger tits or whatever. If she s good stop giving youself anxiety for something u have no controle over. I v been there

42TowelsCo 9 15h49m

Just talk to her about it if it bugs you cause she probs doesn't even realise it effected you

Arcapella 7 15h50m

Only remembered about it reading this thread. Like I assumed in that last comment I stopped caring this morning lol. Size doesn’t matter

Carthonn 3 16h37m

It’s not worth getting bent out of shape over. Had exactly the same thing happen with my SO. Strangely it had no affect on me. I guess I always assumed she did lmao

MeC0195 249 8h12m

Still a dick move (pun intended). Imagine telling a gf you've had better asses than hers.

ScreamingxDemon 268 8h20m

Saying you've had bigger isnt saying they were better or that your dick isn't as good as thiers

lane_gug 79 8h28m

could still hurt tho, would you want a boyfriend saying his last girlfriend had bigger tits than you

Sheruk 169 8h48m

its far worse than that...

"my last girlfriend had a tighter vagina than you" is the equivalent because we associate penis size with ability to give women pleasure. The gender reversal would be a tighter/smaller vagina.

john-donson 68 9h34m

Yes this is the equivalent. I was shaking my head at those comments, better ass? bigger tits? What does that have to do with this topic?

The thought of saying an ex was tighter to a current partner is so off base tho. I can't imagine what is going through a girls head if she talks about size in the same way.

stuckInForLoop 4 15h28m

I was actually totally with you until I played devils advocate on myself.

Just because dudes equate size with pleasure doesn’t mean girls do. Some might, but not all of them.

Which I believe is what this entire post is trying to say.

From a male perspective. There is such thing as too tight. Too small. Too large. too loose… it is all about your personal preference. Same for girls and dicks.

BonsaiDiver 3 9h24m

You beat me to it.

Awkward_Smile7 2 8h42m

Omg yes

GregFromStateFarm 29 9h40m

And yet a lot of girls with small chests and asses get hurt by it, just like dudes

EvolvingEachDay 3 10h20m

Alright, had tighter then?

DeseretRain 6 10h54m

But she didn't say better, she said bigger. That's like you saying you've had girlfriends with bigger breasts, it's just an objective statement of fact, not a value judgment.

VaricosePains 3 18h43m

Yeah absolutely. It's a shame people seem to almost want to defend their 'right' to conflate the two and get pissed off or upset as a result. Helps no-one and if they got over the issues that made them think like that they'd be straight up happier and better off.

stale_kale_chip 3 9h44m

I’ve always told my bf he’s the largest I’ve had, it’s a lie, but he asked and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. However he has said to me how he thought such ex had perfect boobs, and how another ex had the nicest ass.

stexski -5 7h16m


christy_luv 159 7h55m

Honestly, bigger guys tend to lack girth or can feel floppy. Also, guys who find out they are above average then stop trying is a thing. Everyone has their preference, but if my husband had a 10 inch penis we'd have to do other things or he'd have to use one of those toys for head to stop it from going in the whole way.

I absolutely love sex with my husband, it's amazing and I usually want it more than he does. However- sometimes sex hurts because he goes too deep and I just want to vomit. Penis size is like shoe size- not every size works for every person, and some can hurt or fall out. There are work arounds that need to be done.

Work with your partner(s) just like you would with anything else in a relationship. You might be overthinking it. The amount of men who want huge dicks because of other straight men (or women who pile on 40 layers of makeup because of other straight women) is real.

woodsiestmamabear 56 8h39m

This is my experience too. Larger and longer can’t usually keep it as hard for as long. And I am a woman with a short wall too. My so called “average sized” husband, if he isn’t too careful, can go too deep and bruise me. Then I won’t let him back inside for a few days so my poor body can take a break.

Cartz1337 52 10h3m

Look up 'OhNut rings' it was a game changer for my wife and I, as we also have a size compatibility issues. Your cervix will thank you.

Setari 4 18h3m

Instructions unclear, put my dick through a donut's hole, now what

Portuguese_Avenger 3 17h58m

My FWB must have been short walled too. Im still amazed my 6" was able to touch her deep end and make her wince. First few times it happened, I thought she was bullshitting to make me feel better.

__sunmoonstars__ 53 10h57m

Can confirm - have slept with some bigger guys and in my experience either rubbish at foreplay or disinterested. They think just penetrative sex is enough when for for a lot of women this is not the case (and good foreplay is GOOD).

One of the best lays I had was with the smallest guy because he put loads of effort in. Whether is correlation or causation I don’t know, just my experience.

TLDR: get good at foreplay regardless of size.

Dontfeedthelocals 9 16h39m

That's a bit of a mean generalisation. Just like small guys can't help that they're small, big guys can't help that they're big, and it doesn't automatically make you arrogant or lazy. Reddit recently directed me to a penis size comparison website and apparently in a room of 100,000 people on average there would be one guy bigger than me. I found that hard to believe but i'm definitely above average.

But personally i've only once had size be an issue, every other time it's either excited the girl or has been a non-issue. And size has definitely never got in the way of great foreplay or great sex.

HugeFluffyRabbit 7 16h13m

My best was a small guy too, worst was a dude with a huge one that just kept ramming it in like he wanted to cause pain.

Organic-Use-6272 4 14h2m

Causation. That guy who put in the effort is compensating.

Lonely_Northling 6 12h2m


And now you are just making that section of men insecure instead :(

christy_luv 3 15h27m

Wasn't my intent, also is anecdotal. The main takeaway is that size really isn't what it's about. It doesn't matter if you are super big or super small or where you land in between.

Sure, people have a preference of these things- but it's much the same as booty or boob size. There's a size for everyone- and if you like someone it matters less.

The biggest part of sex is making sure you're attentive to the other person. Even if your size isn't the right fit, communication and planning can turn things around. There are positions, toys, aides, and foreplay that can change the game.

You don't have to be soulmates to be attentive either. You can be just as responsive with a fling as you can a partner of 20 years. Like most things in life- communication can make or break it.

Also- edited to say that the reason I said it was to point out the flaw of being bigger. There are flaws to having a bigger member the same as there are flaws to having a smaller one. This is the same with most things. Big boobs and small boobs both have upsides and downsides, almost all things do.

nelozero 6 17h41m

| but if my husband had a 10 inch penis we'd have to do other things....

Not sure why, but I just imagined you guys saying screw it and then going for ice cream

Thousand_Sunny 5 18h16m

lady cave sizes also vary but people instantly connect that with how many people she been with

PrehensileUvula 4 11h17m

Look up the OhNut! It’s a fantastic item for couples where excess penis length can be an issue.

Catholic_Spray 4 14h32m

Honestly, bigger guys tend to lack girth


BillyYumYumTwo-byTwo 4 20h47m

I’ve actually had the opposite experience. The guys I’ve been with that were huge were more focused on oral and foreplay because they are aware it can get uncomfortable. Some of the smaller guys wanted to “prove” that their dick was good enough and only did penetrative sex. Certainly not all, but it was a weird trend I found.

TLDR- dick size can make a difference, for better or worse, but everyone can perform oral and foreplay and that’s incredibly important.

SankeeSierra 2 8h19m

!remindme 3 days

My next free award goes to you.

but_a_simple_petunia 14 7h7m

shouldve clapped back with ive had juicier clams in my heyday

RavennaMagnus 3 12h40m

It just came up, you say?

swhtx713 38 6h12m

But why ask bro :l

PPs_Up_Boys 74 5h15m

Was it just out of the blue, or did you ask her point blank?

Arcapella 71 5h19m

It came up in conversation, but I don't remember if I specifically asked.

blahhhkit 25 6h1m

Why was it heartbreaking? Was she was trying to make you feel bad?

Arcapella 139 6h12m

Totally an ego thing on my end. She definitely wasn’t trying to make me feel bad. Honestly, it’s just something I need to work on. She used to date NFL players and that combined with having a bigger dick than me makes me feel like I’m a 2nd choice.

DasB00ts 59 6h24m

I get it dude, I know it’s likely that my wife was with someone before me that had a bigger dick and ofcourse that’s no problem. But it’s not something I ever want confirmed or to talk about really.

dont_disturb_the_cat 42 6h19m

She’s not with any of them any more. You’re obviously her choice!

Mandalore93 73 7h3m

Real talk - maybe she wasn't the player's first choice. Nothing wrong with that but sometimes I think we have a tendency to sugar coat situations.

Arcapella 30 7h39m

That’s what bothers me the most. I don’t want to be her choice just cause some dude who’s better in her eyes decided not to choose her.

zachc94 7 7h47m

If she loves you and wants to be with you she would have already made the decision up about your dick and the sex you have.

If she wasn't happy with it she wouldn't be with you.

Stay confident and also nice dick bro

thissubredditlooksco 4 8h22m


this is pessimist gymnastics. i doubt she considers the player better in any way lol. a lot of people love that toxicity for a bit but forever?? no way. she could always find another player if that's all she wanted

BuLbas_Prodigy 2 8h30m

Sorry bro, pourin one out for ya

The_Godlike_Zeus 5 11h49m

Redditors always sugar coat things when the OP is the victim, and always demonize whoever is not the victim. Huge lack of nuance on this site.

mackenzie_X 5 7h17m

or they just ran through her.

blahhhkit 32 6h17m

Aww, I’m sorry. I get it. I was going to try and make you feel better by asking if you’ve been with a woman with bigger boobs — and how just because you may have, that fact shouldn’t necessarily make your gf feel bad. It’s just a fact and according to what a lot of men say, isn’t always necessarily better/the only thing that matters. Same with penis size. But I can definitely say that our egos aren’t always rational. I hope we all get to work on our insecurities! 💖

Dogamai 12 7h10m

the difference is that a man doesnt need the boobs to fill up a space in order to get physical sexual pleasure.

Boobs are just decorations. a mans Shaft is the most important tool in the box.

skill is not a tool, its skill. and the skillful still need a good tool in order to be successful.

imagine being the best mechanic in the world but all your wrenches and sockets are made of plastic....

blahhhkit 6 7h16m

I see your point, however bigger still doesn’t always equal better when it comes to penis size. That’s the point I’m making here. Just because his gf has experienced larger penises doesn’t mean his is bad or that he should feel heartbroken (although again I do understand).

My best encounters weren’t with the largest penises I’ve experienced.

Besides, folks with penises have more at their disposal than just their penis, and for some people large boobs are “decoration” but still an important part of their sexual enjoyment.

DeseretRain 2 11h4m

But statistically 80% of women don't orgasm from PIV so tongue skills are all that really matter. Penis size isn't going to have a lot to do with whether she gets physical sexual pleasure. A guy's penis definitely isn't the most important tool, his tongue is way more important.

Even for the people that do orgasm from PIV, a lot seriously do prefer average size. It's not successful if it just hurts because it's too big.

im_vitas 10 6h46m

Don’t mean to bust on you but she wasn’t “dating” nfl players.

Arcapella 4 7h35m

I wish it wasn’t true but she dated 2. One was a punter who was on the Jets when they dated and another dude when she was in school who went to the NFL later on. I know for a fact she dated the punter. I’m not into football and I always thought those dudes were douchebags so it sort of annoys me to know that.

Edit: now I think you meant just fucking which is probably true but damn man that made me sad to think lol

im_vitas 6 7h43m

Sorry brotha. I’m sure your girl is at least pretty hot lol

Arcapella 6 8h13m

She is. It’s got it’s pros and cons lol. More importantly she’s an amazing person and I love her

hisgirlPhoenix 9 6h46m

Am I weird that my first thought was, "oh it's so nice to know that the NFL doesn't have a problem with steroid abuse. "

giggity_0_0 40 6h57m

Steroids reduce testicle size, not penis size.

Source: I’m super weak but have giant testicles

hisgirlPhoenix 13 7h0m

Oop. Sorry. Am female and assumed shrinkage was universal to the package. God, why was sex ed so fucking useless?

giggity_0_0 4 7h1m

Lol I was kidding on the last part but in all fairness I hope you aren’t dealing with too many steroid based issues with others.

FantasyThrowaway321 4 6h15m

You’re my first choice xoxo

but_a_simple_petunia 4 7h8m

NFL players


woodsiestmamabear 2 8h41m

That’s okay man, either that or she was second choice too!

UniversalTruths 1 10h23m

You really believe being an NFL player automatically makes someone a better choice of a romantic partner? This is such a shallow way of thinking.

RC3_Skywalker 4 6h8m

I am pretty sure she brought it up without considering his feelings first.

ooooq4 6 6h11m

Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to. Or can’t handle the answer to.

blahhhkit 1 6h15m

I’m asking him specifically why it hurt his feelings to hear that

RC3_Skywalker 3 7h12m

It is because another man could go deeper and connect with her sexually more than he ever will.

It is like being the new girl in school and you make friends with a group of girls in class, including a popular girl named Persephone. You invite them all over to your house for a slumber party and you have an absolute blast, eating snacks, talking about boys and playing board games.

Later at school, you are walking to your group of friends during lunch to ask them how they liked the slumber party, when you hear that they actually had WAY more fun having a slumber party at Persephone’s’ house, and that the party at your house was not as fun.

blahhhkit 1 7h20m

I’m kind of confused why you’re trying to answer the question that was specifically about his personal experience.

And a bigger penis does NOT mean that man will automatically connect more sexually or that he was more fun. Where are you getting that from?? You’re making assumptions.

RC3_Skywalker 1 7h27m

I am not making assumptions, I was just telling you the general misconception guys have. Having a bigger penis with above average length and girth is like having a stronger masculinity.

ugly-af 45 8h51m

She may have had bigger, but has she had better?

I think a lot of women would prefer 'better' over 'bigger'.

_rashi 7 13h57m

Yes exactly this ,Ex had a big dick I was actually pretty happy cause it was my first time with him and as the saying goes"the bigger the better" right ? NO!! I never really had orgasm from having sex with him,it was painful everytime we had sex and Blowy was difficult cause yeah I was pretty new and did gagged allot of time on his dick even tho I loved giving BJ's later on but during the initial months I would end up with tears in my eyes and gagging

mferly 4 21h43m

This reminds me of a friend of mine who has somewhere in the realm of an 8" dick. He's always been rather depressed over his size since neither he nor "she" have an enjoyable time during sex. He's a bit of a ladies man and does "well" picking up at bars and the like, but the stories he's told me are depressing. He'll spend much time just trying to get "it in" while not hurting her (even with lube). And blowies aren't enjoyable he says because she can only fit an inch or so in her mouth.

Most every male believes that big dicks rule all. It's something most of us have believed over the years that makes us feel more manly. Bigger the dick the more "alpha" we are. But then there's my poor buddy that hasn't had good sex in years and years due to big dick syndrome.

TheOnionKnight25 44 6h17m

Similar situation here and my gf just recently realized that she actually doesn't like oral/fingering, she says its just a personal preference though and not a reflection of me. But I'm smaller than what she's had before and I can't make up for it in the usual foreplay either.

nyenbee 41 15h50m

I used to "not like" oral. Turns out no one was doing it in a way that I enjoyed. Encourage her to explore different types of touch, rub, or pressure. If she masturbates, ask if you can watch (without participating) . See what types of things she does to stimulate herself. Then, during very short sessions of cunnilingus, try to mimic the touches or rubs she was doing. If she reacts to something, that DOES NOT automatically mean to do it harder or speed up.

sn: by "watch" I mean be there and pay attention. Maybe stimulate her nipples or give her little kisses on her body. Basically, nothing to distract her and don't be creepy.

quesowhatsyerpoint 30 16h14m

"If she reacts to something, that DOES NOT automatically mean to do it harder or speed up."

This for sure. So many guys get way too excited like "oooh that's working, must do that a lot more and try to do it as much as possible in a short amount of time" but that's not the answer. If she likes it, it's because she likes the pace too. Too fast can either feel like nothing at all (all stimulation is gone) or completely ruin the concentration, which does the same thing. That's my personal experience anyway, but I hardly believe I'm the only one. Best way to know is to ask though.

nyenbee 14 16h28m

I don't think women tell people this often enough. I think sometimes women are happy that someone is making an effort down there, or some women have had the "she likes it, do it faster-harder-more" kind of partner. Dudes really need to approach it like a skill and not just something to do to get someone off.

My example of learning a new skill: I like to watch bj vids to see if there's anything new or fun I can try. I went through this near-obsession with frenelum stimulation. I couldn't wait to try it on my husband.

I tried it a couple of times and got no reaction at all at first. Then I noticed he was being very still, so I assumed he didn't care for it and moved on. One night I hit the spot just right and got the reaction I was looking for. I made a note of where it is and the varying intensity that I used. I don't go back to that spot very often. Sometimes I just tease at it because i want to leave him wanting more.

I'm glad I didn't give up when he didn't react at first. The point is ... uh... what was my point?

HeyMrBusiness 9 7h30m

Unless she's mentioned not being satisfied, you don't need to "make up for it". You're not lacking.

Ikea_Man 11 8h23m

mine did the same, but who gives a shit? she's with me and not that guy

in my case, she said the guy with the bigger dick was too much and it hurt during sex

woodsiestmamabear 18 8h55m

It does hurt. Especially when some of those bigger guys seem to think we like the pain of it 😤

suktupbutterkup 3 12h40m

Like yes, I love it when you bruise my cervix, especially when you do it so fast and hard./s

thissubredditlooksco 8 8h21m

bigger =/= better

dennyaaa 7 8h3m

Just remember that she is with you and not the "bigger". You sound like a genuine, caring and amazing human. Never let something that is not important break anything inside you.

But if it truly bothers you, talk with her about how that statement made you feel, I am sure you'll get the assurance or validation you need to get that ticker back into 1 piece.

I wish you all the happiness in the world.

Arcapella 2 8h18m

Thank you for your incredibly kind comment

VivaLaSea 4 6h19m

If she chose to be with you why would it matter? Obviously, what you have is good enough for her.
This is a genuine question.

chaigulper 3 12h39m

Bigger doesn't mean better.

deathray-toaster 3 12h44m

I’m sorry for you but i don’t feel like this should bring a man down. It’s like that Star Wars quote: there’s always a bigger dick. They come in all shapes and sizes. And I’d still feel like shit about my own dick if I didn’t have that in mind. I did for a long time and I got tired of it. And besides. She could like your dong despite having had boyfriends with bigger 😉

SnooFoxes2833 3 13h5m

Bigger doesn't mean better anyway.

Portuguese_Avenger 3 17h50m

And I make myself feel better by saying to myself, yeah, and Ive sucked on bigger tittays too. Thanks Sharon, wherever you are.

Critical-Test-4446 0 7h28m

Tell her you've had tighter. See how she likes being on the receiving end.

Merkarba 112 7h32m

I stopped worrying when an ex said don't worry about it they all look big when it's right in your face.

wattm 15 12h55m

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

National_Action_9834 68 7h5m

I can't say this without seeming egotistical but same.

I was a late bloomer as far as looks so girls didn't notice me til I was 17. I thought I was totally average down there.

I fuckdd my first girl at a party on a one night stand

Flash forward next day and I have not one, but THREE people (one of them a girl) come up to me asking me if I'm that dude with the "super dick" who hooked up with said girl at the party.

My confidence skyrocketed that day, but I still peaked in that moment. Downhill from there

illit3 29 8h44m

things that only other dudes care about: motorcycles, muscles, dick size

365Blistering 7 12h6m

Some women care but most do not.

mmanaolana 4 16h50m

??? There are plenty of women that like or are muscular, and/or ride motorcycles, and while a lot of women don't care about dick size, some do.

alamaias 3 13h54m

Nah, some women care about dick size, I have a mate who is reliably reported to be about 8" but thicker than a coke can, one of his girlfriend's friends basically tried to rape him in the back of a car after she found out.

loring96 60 7h4m

To be fair I think it’s partly due to porn. I’m not chastising it by any means, but you can’t help but compare yourself to these people that are in that industry for a reason.

Edit: typo

To be fair I think it’s party due to porn. I’m not chastising it by any means, but you can’t help but compare yourself to these people that are in that industry for a reason.

DeseretRain 16 11h14m

But you should remember porn is made to appeal to men, not women. Most of the stuff going on in porn isn't the kind of stuff women find appealing or sexy. So men have huge dicks in porn because men want to see huge dicks in their porn, not women.

Erotic fiction is way more popular than porn among women, and it's rare size is even mentioned at all in written erotic scenes. On the rare occasions I see huge dicks mentioned in a romance story, it usually turns out it was written by a gay/bi man.

So I guess if you're dating men it's probably reasonable to be insecure about your penis size. Men do seem to care about that in their partners.

Morpheus987 14 4h0m



what if they only complain to their girlfriends?

Quinlov 3 8h4m

Is this because your dick isn't actually small?

hdksoeusb67543 3 14h33m

Genuine story even though everyone will say your kidding but who cares

My dick is good size, about 7 inches, but very girthy. I’ve had a lot of girls not want to have sex with me because it’ll hurt. It also hurts when the girl is too tight. I genuinely wish my dick was a tad smaller and a fair bit thinner. So to you troopers out there with a solid 5 or 6 incher with average girth, I envy you, go put your skills to good use

T50BMG 2 5h59m

I second this.

FOXACID89 2 6h59m

All the girls I've been with have been very petite / short. The only penis complaints I've ever had have been from too much, not too little. I accidentally fucked a girl off the bed once. Nothing like sharp stabbing pain to completely kill the mood for her. Unless your dong is like medical issue levels of small, it should be a non-issue. Also, learn to give head.

xelareyes 2 7h34m


No-Chipmunk9527 2 9h57m

I mean girls don’t complain, we’re usually more polite than that, but if they didn’t compliment or comment on how big it was with out you prompting or asking what they thought… it’s average or small

scarfox1 2 10h15m

What size bro, for science?

No-Comedian4195 1 6h10m

The name for this is "boyfriend dick"

garroshsucks12 6h42m

Yeah same here turns out my size is good.

dudenamedfella 6h43m

So true

throwawayy60932 6h43m

Second this.

Lonely_Northling 3636 2m

Have you seen the size of dildos sold at sex stores?

loadedbakedpopaypo 780 3m

I have, and I actually have a few that vary in size! Turns out I truly prefer the average haha.

Lonely_Northling 857 5m

I'm tempted to ask for measurements of that, and then ask you to look up the average size. I've found women overestimate the average quite a lot.

Also, all women I've seen had have dildos about twice as big as any real penis I've seen. It leaves me with the though, given the choice bigger = better. Hard to shake that even when listening to women I find.

loadedbakedpopaypo 432 5m

Isn’t it like 5.5ish inches? Edit: googled. It is! I’ll go measure the dildo rn lol I will update soon

Update: it’s actually smaller than I thought! It’s 5” long and about 2.5” girth edit: 2.5 diameter oops

Lonely_Northling 377 8m


Googled around and actually found this article:

So, after weeks of work and research we found that the average dildo measures up at a full length of 7.52" (19.1 cm), beating the average penis which stands at 5.16" (13.1 cm).


Dry-Nefariousness400 419 1h40m

Dont forget about the girth of'em. Good lord

FigureOught 217 3h29m

Well there’s also movement to consider. Due to geometry and physical limitations, you can’t actually move or jackhammer a dildo like a partner could. And you need at least one hand free for stimulating your clitoris. So it kind of comes down to a choice between slimmer & more movement vs. girthier & more stationary. The latter gives you reasonable stimulation without killing your wrist. Just my 2c.

365Blistering 38 12h2m

And a lot of dildo is just about feeling full since it doesn't actually move the same.

TheBookOfSeil 17 13h7m

Right but thats the whole point. If women want to feel full and the average doesn't do that, then there's not much else to really talk about.

FiyeTao 3 21h0m

Maybe what they're looking for in a dildo is different from what they're looking for in a penis. It's a different experience.

source: girlfriends and have also dildoed people

365Blistering 3 21h9m

But the real dick moves, and the skin to skin or... Flesh to flesh is really chemically intoxicating (i fucking hate condoms as they take this sensation away).

alamaias 26 13h57m

And you usually need a few inches to hold the thing

ciaoravioli 96 5h10m

When it comes to girth there is less difference. The width of the average sized dildo is at 4.65" (11.82 cm) while the human penis is just slightly thinner with its 4.59" (11.66 cm).

I think women who buy the ridiculously girthy ones are a small minority

chrisragenj 110 5h52m

(Wo)man, you better specify those are circumferences, not diameters...

foxtrottits 99 6h44m

Lol I'm like who the fuck is masturbating with a paint can?

So_Long_DentalPlan 31 9h3m

I call mine The Decimater

im_sneaky_deaky 2 8h22m

I laughed so hard I hurt my back, thanks

deeznutshyuck 2 6h21m

Shit took me a sec 😂

spider_irl 26 5h43m

Statistics is a tricky science - is this average weighed in any way? Because there are horse cock dildos out there, moving average size/girth up, while I'd safely assume purchases/production volume of those is very limited, and it's not necessary symmetrical for the ones on the smaller side. Perhaps it's somehow equalized by the variety, however? More types of the same size is produced since manufacturers can safely assume they won't go unpurchased? Or if it's average of sales - then this data would be much more reliable.

woodsiestmamabear 3 9h10m

Its probably an average of the top best selling. That would make the most sense since many sex toys sold at stores are more a novelty item than something the average person will buy for their vanilla sex life.

woodsiestmamabear 13 9h8m

Correct. Also the excess length of the dildo is so we can grab it and maneuver it. Its not attached to a man that can drive it all the way to the hilt.

elegant_pun 3 5h46m

They're often for anal, anyway.

Tonza443 5h46m

That's actually a huge difference lol

freeportskrill420 28 2h52m

I’ve had girls rave more over my girth than length, neither are anything to complain about.

SurfCanucks 9 6h55m

I prefer average with good girth. You feel full more with girth

DeepestWinterBlue 6 7h6m

Girth is more important than length.

1womAn2womEn 188 45m

But you don't actually put the whole dildo inside. You grip the bottom half... Penis usually does in balls deep

BlownVooDoo 75 3h59m

I go balls deep every time

WheresMyWeetabix 79 4h48m

Wait, you don’t put the balls inside?

johnnyAtkins 40 5h25m
Thats how I was taught!
My dad said "Son ya gotta go balls INTO the walls!"
N7ADD1 19 6h47m

You legit have the same name as my father…….

Dad?… Is that you?… Did Gramps really say this?

Still-Infamous 2 5h34m

Stuffed nuts buddy, stuffed nuts.

nikogetsit 9 5h48m

I put the nuts in first and ram them in with the head like I'm loading a civil war era musket.

chrisragenj 1 5h55m

That's also known as "two dogs in a bathtub ". Bc stuffing your nuts in a chick is like trying to keep two dogs....

Lonely_Northling 27 49m

The article mentions this actually, read it, it was interesting :D

sjsjdejsjs 37 3h14m

well if the average dildo is 19cm, with the hand gripping it it would make it around the size of the average penis

CorianderSuuucks 9 3h52m

The ones that have a suction cup in the end you dont need to hold yourself, so that frees up a few more cms.

HeyMrBusiness 2 7h32m

Not much, because going too far down makes it unstable. Or it isn't comfortable, like the ones with balls

-Black-and-gold- 2 9h38m

The average dildo does not have that

D3VIL3_ADVOCATE 80 3h54m

Full length isn’t insertable lengths though..

AssumeBattlePoise 35 6h33m

Yeah but like, a dildo has to be longer. What would you hold onto??

Deezl-Vegas 31 5h54m

Notably the difference is about the width of the human hand because as it turns out you have to hold on to the dildo, it doesn't just swim back and forth on its own

PharmWench 16 9h9m

You haven’t met my vagina. It has skills.

Deezl-Vegas 13 9h55m

If I see it I'll make sure to shake it's little hand and introduce myself

chrisragenj 22 5h50m

If average is 5.16", that means for every 7 incher there's an equal but opposite 3 incher? Ffs

importvita 4 8h30m

Not exactly, more like a few billion between 5-6in with increasingly smaller numbers above and below the range.

ciaoravioli 4 5h8m

But don't forget this important part:

However, the usable length differs, as you need room for your hand holding a dildo. By such, the usable dildo length is only 6.54" (16.6 cm).

Sure, that's 1.38" more than the average, but I doubt most women would care about such a small difference

Any_Affect_7134 6 8h18m

Thats a huge percentage difference. Lol.

Mybunsareonfire 2 9h2m

Seriously, that's like 125% the size.

_Log_Jammin_ 4 9h26m

Isn’t a dildo going to be longer than a penis for practicality reasons? You have to have something to hold onto correct?


I don't trust that 5.16 figure tbh, or it's at least misleading. If you exclude micropenises and people who had malnutrition in youth I think it's more like 6 inches.

Riyujin26 51 4h49m

Ahah i guess you got distracted in your holy quest of measuring the big magic wand!

huehuecoyotl23 35 8h13m

Update never came lol

loadedbakedpopaypo 3 8h57m

Took a big nap, I’ll do it tomorrow 😂

KrakatauGreen 11 9h52m

Seems like you're avoiding it tbh

loadedbakedpopaypo 3 16h2m

Since this thread got pretty long, I’ll update everyone who asked or mentioned the lack of update! Lol

It’s smaller than I thought it was actually! It’s 5” long and about 2.5” in girth :)

Arkmer 16 3h47m

How soon? 😅

ChikFilAsLeftoverOil 36 4h24m

She measured it. It's like 8 inches.

SupaMunkey 13 6h2m

Probably saw it was 9 inches then got “distracted”

vhisic 11 6h55m

you went to measure that dildo 6 hours ago, did you learn something?

Jacobletrashe 3 4h6m

This makes me feel good about myself

KokoroMain1475485695 2 5h49m

So, what's the update? We need an answer.

Tripledtities 2 7h41m

It's been 7 hours, how long does it take to measure a dildo?

reagan2024 2 8h43m

Keep in mind the 5.5 inches refers to length, not diameter.

IntheMiddlingWest 194 5h44m

The thing with dildos: you need to be able to hold onto it. Hence, thr extra length.

Source: I have dildoed people.

RealLifeIsBetter 53 9h33m

Nothing quite like dildoing people.

citriclem0n 19 15h53m

Dildoing yourself is actually quite similar.

BenAfleckIsAnOkActor 4 15h29m


Super-Noodles 23 17h29m

Can you please put: “source: I have dildoed people” on every comment you make for everything.

IntheMiddlingWest 4 17h38m

I mean.....I am capable. I really hope to someday be able to answer an "ask science", and that will be my moment to shine.

pineapplequeenzzzzz 5 17h11m

Especially if they're suction cup ones. I hate that all the really long ones are too girthy because I just need something long for manoeuvring purposes

IntheMiddlingWest 3 17h38m

Yup, a little flexy so you don't accidentally jam something too hard and long enough to maneuver for the angles.

Xero7777 3 19h59m

that surprisingly puts things in perspective.

BenignEgoist 42 6h22m

Sex that feels physically good plus emotionally and mentally good is the goal. It’s absolutely the best.

A toy doesn’t come with intellectual stimulation or emotional connection, so it makes up with size and texture to increase the physical sensation.

I have never liked a fake dick as much as a real one, no matter which size either of them are.

throwAway_C3PO 11 10h54m

”A toy doesn’t come with intellectual stimulation or emotional connection,…”

Neither have many of the people I’ve slept with, so… I guess there’s that…

tifumostdays 5 12h27m

Did, did they make up for it with texture?

BackgroundAd4408 3 14h43m

My penis is ribbed and dotted for her pleasure.

anonymal_me 3 12h23m

This 👆🏻

Any kind of solo play (toys, fantasies, porn) is going to be exaggerated because there’s not another real person there to connect with. So the other stimuli needs to be cranked up.

elegant_pun 19 5h45m

The average erect penis is between 5" and 5.5".

Some people enjoy deep penetration -- men and women, by the way -- and so utilise large toys. But most people, most of the time like an average cock.

Also, I doubt you've seen that many real penises or "all women's" toys.

GregFromStateFarm 8 9h42m

A friend of mine told me her last boyfriend had a tremendous 13 inch wang, so I asked her to show me how long she thought 13 inches was. Damn near had a panic attack of embarassment after I pulled out a ruler and showed her that 13 inches is longer than her whole forearm and hand lmao

Women’s depth/size/distance perception is way off from men’s

Lonely_Northling 6 11h9m

I've also heard a lot of women often resort to calling a man small because the sex wasn't the way they wanted after a ONS. So was it not good because he was small? I as a man will never know.

bigalienD 6 3h35m

What kind of women you have been with lol Edit: I am sorry if you are small, didn't think of that.

SillyJackDad 4 9h20m

Maybe those dildies are for their booty holes.

Just maybe

woodsiestmamabear 3 9h6m

Also the whole dildo isn’t usually shoved in to the hilt like a man would be. We are powering the thing ourselves after all.

dilligafaa 3 9h30m

I have a good many sex toys and I will tell you straight up that it depends on the day. Most days I use my dildo that's pretty average sized (~5 in), but some days I use just an internal vibe (~2 in) and some days I use my big one (~8 in). The 8 in one is great when that's what I'm in the mood for, but it's too thick to use without a good amount of prep and if I'm stressed at all I straight up can't put it in. If I could only have 1 I'd take the average, hands down.

Lonely_Northling 3 11h10m

Do you know the measurements or will it be like OP - you have to measure to never reply? :P (I think OP realized her dildo was well above average penis size tbh)

BackgroundAd4408 3 14h39m


They do!

Fun fact(s):

  • Women often over estimate how large penises (penisi? peni?) are! When shown images of penises they'll often estimate that they're one to two inches larger than they actually are.

  • Women will often say they prefer 'seven to eight inches'.

Setrosi 2 6h54m

Maybe bugger IS better since the woman has full control over using it. Speed, stability, not just full on Jack hammering like in a porn maybe.

SpikeHimself 135 4h57m

The average dildo is larger than the average penis (EDIT: by about 20% - excluding the extra size for handing purposes -- https://medium.com/@thedodil/dildo-envy-the-average-dildo-size-compared-to-the-average-penis-da45ec24ba93).

That should tell you everything.

The problem with the comment "i actually prefer average" is that you forget the meaning of "average".

It's the average. Half of the men are smaller than that. When those men say they wish they were larger, what they mean is they wish they were that "average" that you are saying you prefer.


The average dildo is larger than the average penis.


bacondev 23 9h20m

Iti's the average. Half of the men are smaller than that.

This is going to be pedantic, but that's not how averages work. What you described is a median, but as far as I know, we don't know the median. Your word choice would be (misleadingly) accurate if the distribution were a normal distribution. But it might be a log-normal distribution or something else entirely. Who knows?

BanalityOfMan 9 11h46m

The median is a type of average. You think the mean is the only kind of average. Not to be pedantic.

The mean penis size is 5.16 inches, apparently. So he's pretty much on point.

SpikeHimself 6 11h50m

Sure, maybe 51% are larger than the average and 49% are smaller but by a greater amount. It might even be 55/45. That's still roughly half.

Password_Not_123 11 7h8m

Half of the men are smaller than that. When those men say they wish they were larger, what they mean is they wish they were that “average” that you are saying you prefer.

Sounds like you (and I) would be curious what the median and mode size is. If the average is 5.5” or whatever, is that also the most common size? No idea if that info is even out there.

Toisty 3 5h50m

The average dildo is larger than the average penis.

That should tell you everything.

Really? you're willing to boil this entire discussion down to, "The average dildo is bigger than the average penis."

DeseretRain 2 11h21m

Because for a sex toy you need a couple inches at the bottom to hold onto. You can't actually insert the whole thing.

Someone actually posted average dildo size statistics above and it looks the actual usable length and the girth actually are about the same as the average penis.

Prisoner-of-Paradise -31 5h30m

Women aren't idiots who can't tell the difference between a dildo and a dick. Your condescending assessment of how clueless we are is probably most of the reason you aren't getting laid.

croccmoccs 13 5h49m

damn. you're rude.

Prisoner-of-Paradise -12 5h52m

Not more rude than the utter negation of women having any idea about what they actually like, sexually. A dildo is not a dick, and this insistence that dildo size proves women are lying when they say they enjoy average sized dicks is far more rude.

croccmoccs 12 6h11m

I didnt interpret it as an accusation of lying. I took it to mean that he compares the size of his junk to the average size of a dildo, and that contributes to his insecurities.

If the average dildo length is 2" more than the average penis length, and he is below the average penis length, then telling him you prefer the average isnt going to make him feel any more secure.

If he did mean it the way you interpreted it, then i agree with you.

Prisoner-of-Paradise -1 6h22m

But he should feel more secure, and he would, unless he thinks a woman who says she's had lovers with an average size and enjoyed them, is telling some kind of face-saving lie.

I understand that the pervasive idea that "bigger is always better" is a very real thing. But if you come on Reddit and you see actual women saying they've had great sex with average-sized men, or whatever positive thing is being said, and toss it back in their faces by saying dildos are generally bigger, so that puts paid to the idea that women ever enjoy average-sized dicks... it's very hard not to take that as telling women they don't know what they're talking about.

croccmoccs 4 6h53m

Why should he? If he is below average, and she is telling him that she enjoys the average, how is that an affirmation that HE is big enough.

I think your second paragraph can be answered by your statement "the pervasive idea that bigger is always better". Some men will never be satisfied hearing that they are enough, or that their partner is satisfied. They will always believe bigger is better. and they seem suuuuper bitter about it.

Prisoner-of-Paradise 4 7h9m

Perhaps, if he's actually below average, it won't be helpful. But one would hope that thinking you are an inch shorter is better than believing you're three inches too short.

All this ignores how dicks aren't the be all and end all of sex for women. And while they are the primary sex organ for men, still, a dick isn't the whole shebang. Sex is, should be, can be, so much more than just PIV. Any man who feels his dick size precludes him from ever having a great sex life is creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

steef12349 1 6h57m

You can't just... expect someone to feel more secure about something that they're insecure about.

Prisoner-of-Paradise 2 7h3m

I'm not... he has evidence that should be accounted for and assimilated into his view. This is how he learns otherwise; women saying how they feel is the counter to his insecurity. If he dismisses it, then he'll never learn that his dick is a size that many women would be perfectly happy to have.

SupaMunkey 1 6h4m

Nah it’s called reality.

idowhatiwant8675309 -4 3h17m

My queen 👸!😉

jordannnl696 638 1h40m

For real, remember how big your old smartphone used to be. Now when you hold it in your hands it seems so small.

For real, remember how big you old smartphone used to be. Now when you hold it in your hands it seems so small.

For real, remember how big your old smartphone used to be. Now when you hold it in your hand it seems so small.

Coldbeam 201 3h46m

I'm just waiting for the return of jnco jeans for the big pockets again

BlownVooDoo 66 4h3m

Please God, no……you shouldn’t think that, much less say it. That had to be one of the worse fads mankind ever had, right up there with pants hanging below your ass.

MisfitMishap 62 10h53m

Fuck off, I want to shuffle in jncos with my goth friends

babablacksheeps33 4 14h16m

More Melbourne shuffle and trip pants please. Haha. Good ol days.

clarissaswallowsall 4 16h21m

Anyone else chain each other together with the tripp pants chains?

rehtulx 3 20h48m

Where else imma put my chain wallet?

jordannnl696 50 4h47m

Pants below your ass is still a thing unfortunately

jininberry 5 17h1m

Its funny how those are the first people to be like "No I'm not gay wtf" yet they have butt sex on easy mode.

El_Durazno 2 5h47m

Jnko is better than sub terrains assed pants

Luka_Dunks_on_Bums 3 5h7m

They are back

eagledog 3 6h8m

They are a thing again

daurinxl 2 5h46m

I went from the iPhone 11 to the iPhone 12 mini and when I hold the 11 it feels like a tablet. and lately even the 12 mini is starting to feel massive.

snail-y 103 5h37m

Funnily, when I went to buy a dildo, I wanted a small one, which was my real size preference, but the smallest I could find was still at least average.

HeyMrBusiness 39 7h33m

Did you ever find one? There's lots I could recommend

snail-y 8 7h40m

I did buy an “average” one, but I’ll take some recommendations!

HeyMrBusiness 14 11h1m

This one is 5.5" with 3.75" of that being insertable

A couple brands sell mini/tester versions of their toys, if you like fantasy stuff.

And for nonphallic insertables, the Dual Love and Dual Pleasure vibrator/suction toys have like 4-5"insertable length

howdidthishappen2850 97 7h39m

I mean why would a dildo manufacturer ever sell a shorter dildo? If a woman prefers a shorter length, she can just use less of the same dildo.

ohdiddly 60 11h31m

They make dildos pretty thick too lol, so it's not just about using less of the dildo

DarellVanhorn 16 7h24m

Those huge ones are for the butt

InGeekiTrust 14 6h32m

I am just going to explain to you why this is. It is very hard to shove some thing inside you and click on porn, maybe clit play etc. It is a huge hassle. If you have a larger dildo then you can grip the lower half like a handle. Also once inside I barely have to move it. If you have PIV you are getting a lot of movement really fast and really hard. This is opposite of what women do to themselves. Hope this helps.

GoJeonPaa 3 13h28m

sry, what's piv? I don't want to google it right now.

askingseven 3 13h34m

Penis in Vagina

Lonely_Northling 9h19m

Even taking that into account, according to the article I linked women buy dildos 21% larger than the average - that's with accounting for space to hold onto it.

LaScoundrelle 12 3h24m

I suspect dildos (as opposed to vibrators) are actually more popular with couples than with single women. I think a dildo by itself doesn't do much of anything pleasure-wise for the majority of women. And at least online, it seems that it's mostly men with the fantasy to see their gf or wife be penetrated by something larger.

Unusual_North 37 4h54m

Er.... nope woman like dildos solo also. It does plenty or you can add in a vib if you need too

LaScoundrelle -4 5h18m

I didn't say no women like them. But majority of women can't come from vaginal penetration alone. Only about a third of women can. Women's bodies are pretty diverse. But personally I've heard more men than women who are excited about dildos.

dicetime 2 8h36m

Yeah pretty sure that percentage is women that HAVE orgasmed from only penetration. It would be impossible to measure it otherwise. How can a woman know she can/cant if she never has? Its not like they take those women and have a proven professional “find out”

Anecdotally ive met several women claim they cant, only to excitedly let me know that they can when they got with a new partner.

I think it probably highly depends on compatibility both emotional and physical, the mood, angle of insertion, pressure, all that stuff. Not as easy as just flickin the ol’ bean.

RepresentativeLink54 -3 4h52m

You’d be right

bluebell435 7 2h55m

They come in a variety of sizes. I'll bet if you asked, the bestseller is a moderate size.

SmallHandsMallMindS 4 5h25m

Another commenter looked it up: You are incorrect. Average size is 7.5 inches

abbadactyl_ 9 5h38m

The amount of insertable length is less so

gentlechin 5 7h5m

Dildos that size are really more for a special occasion for most people, I assume. It isn't something the average person would want all the time. Some people prefer bigger dicks. Some prefer smaller. But statistically speaking, most women prefer average.

Something also that huge novelty dildos can't provide is the connection and warmth of another person, even if that person has a small penis. It really is all about the motion of the ocean.

enigmamaa 5 7h34m

Hiii 21 y/o F here! I had to go to like 3 sex shops before I could find an “average” sized dildo which for me is still a bit large. I’d think of giant dildos the equivalent of sex dolls for strait men; it’s not realistic, it’s more of a fantasy/kink that some people enjoy and others would rather just have the natural, real thing :)

Lonely_Northling 6 9h16m

Sex dolls for straight men? I feel that are way less normal than dildos :P

seshprinny 4 16h29m

I can see how that would be misleading to men.

I was with a guy 2 weeks when he turns up with a monster dildo, that appeared to be the width of an old can of coke and at least as long as two of them.

I was simultaneously freaked out and semi offended that he thought anything of that size would fit me. No shade to people who it does fit, but after 3 painful attempts he was told to get rid of it and not turn up with anymore surprise sex toys. I much prefer more average sized dicks.

Guys with big dicks tend to want to pound you (no idea if this is because they have achieved optimum dick size to think all they have to do is jam their penis in you as hard as they can and you will spasm in pleasure or what), and are put out when you ask them to go a little less hard because they're hurting you. Not all, but the majority of my encounters.

As I'm sure you can tell, dick size would probably be irrelevant if they were semi interested in my sexual experience too. My current partner is on the small side and I've never been so satisfied. He listens and wants to make me feel good, and he does it a lot better than any 9 incher I've met 😂

HotelMoscow 2 9h22m

They're also for guys

Yami_no_Chikara 2795 5m

How many times do you see someone calling penis as average online? It's always either small or big lol.

Anyway what do you consider an average?

loadedbakedpopaypo 1060 9m

I actually haven’t seen people talk about peen size too much lately, so I wish I could tell ya lol! 5.5ish is average supposedly

Chikytendy 772 28m

Literally half of what this sub is

ghost_zuero 1690 4h24m

Mods please do a poll so we can know the average dick size on this sub

FantasyThrowaway321 1553 4h57m

I’m sure that the results will be honest and true…

but_a_simple_petunia 670 7h9m

mine's definitely not 6 but a good 16 incher thats for sure

Mr_bananasham 399 8h50m

ole horse dicked petunia over here

FAPSWAY_2MUCH 57 11h37m


PenguinPlucker 14 17h48m

It’s MPEG you cunt

Jaketheism 3 18h52m
but_a_simple_petunia 21 10h58m

horse penis or gtfo is all I'm sayin' yessir

skin_diver 4 15h40m

Popping ivermectin like it's viagra

Tamashi42 3 19h7m

When I say I'm 5'9" I'm not talking about my height

Arkmer 238 6h13m

I am 100% putting the smallest or largest no matter what those sizes are. I’ll flip a coin to determine my answer.

vancity- 82 9h15m

Soooo the average response

Arkmer 5 9h21m

I expect nothing less.

GregFromStateFarm 3 9h38m

And nothing more

LurkingGuy 5 9h35m

Is 10"x12" believable?

Treefrogprince 5 15h33m

If only I could click the poll option, but my enormous manhood blocks the screen. /s

Initial_Ad_9250 4 8h21m

I won't lie man, mine is 13.2 inches long

So_Long_DentalPlan 5 8h54m

You're a better man than I am; I always round up to 14

Chicken_N_Beans 3 7h59m
Weary_Phragmite 3 17h3m

Technically most of the penis is internal, so I measure from my asshole to the tip.

sthc241 3 20h44m

I was aboit to say even in an anonymous poll people will lie about their size. Its definitely an ego/pride thing that takes toll as a teenager and many people never grow out of it.

DenidilCascadia 3 21h33m

yeah previous studies have made it very clear that self-reporting of penis size will involve bullshit. lots and LOTS of bullshit.

xxxsur 92 4h48m

I'm afraid we would not be able to find any 5.5 in dicks.

Jeremy_Crowhurst 104 6h8m

Scientific research (whatever that means) reveals (ha ha) 5.25" to be average.

I cannot imagine how they could possibly have conducted a study that would return both reliable results and an appropriate sample pool.

xxxsur 83 6h12m

I have a ruler stolen from my mate in fifth grade

Dantien 9 10h43m

Reputable studies use stretched length to avoid self-reported measurements. Bias creeps in, but no one is claiming perfection here. Until bigger sample sizes are volunteering, we are stuck sifting through incomplete studies. And of those, the average is about 5.1-5.5” long. CalcSD has all the data you need: https://calcsd.info/wrong.html

Jeremy_Crowhurst 5 11h14m

“Bigger sample sizes…” heh heh heh.

Lil-Leon 6 13h38m

Reminds me of a self-report study where some states (Coincidentally states with a large percentage of lifted truck owners) got out the average penis size of their state to be something like 6.5+

I lol'ed while reading about it

Effective_Log5655 5 9h18m

If there is to be a study for proper research (lmao) are we talking limp dick, half mast or full morning wood?

Jeremy_Crowhurst 6 9h45m

Well that’s just it, it’s the size at high noon that they always refer to. But do they rely on self-reporting or something more definitive? If it’s the latter, then the only people they’d be getting evidence from would be porn stars and exhibitionists. They might not be an accurate sample of the overall population.

BackgroundAd4408 10 14h27m
  • 1) Transparent tube,

  • 2) Mark the tub with measurements,

  • 3) Place an object in the tube (e.g. styrofoam).

  • 4) Fuck the tube,

  • 5) Scientist measures how far you fucked that styrofoam.

Forgotten_Lion 4 16h47m

Let's just say I work in a "related industry" (not porn) and the average I have out of 50 measurements is 5.3"

Its a small sample size and self reported but it will be accurate though not precise. That includes everything down to a 2"er up to a 7.5"er

Beleh23 3 9h19m

Cries in asian blood

Panda_Man_ 2 8h50m

But it shrinks when you go in the pool! Of course it wouldn’t return reliable results!

SteezyAs314 5 10h45m

I’m actually pretty damn close to that. I think. I haven’t measured in awhile but I’m also almost positive I have not grown or shrunk since I did. Idk my wife loves my junk and that really is kinda all that matters to me.

xxxsur 3 10h57m


Well said. It doesn't matter to you even I have a micro penis. As long as my wife is happy about mine, who cares.

Tommycallahanjr 3 7h19m

Average does not mean most occurrences. You can have. 1,000 dicks with an average of 5.5, and only have one in the whole lot.

dicetime 3 7h55m

You dont even need one. Average of 1, 2, 3, 10 is 4.

A_Very_Blue_Tomato 1 5h59m

I’m 5.5

xxxsur 1 6h1m


A_Very_Blue_Tomato 28 6h2m

Yes 5.5 nautical miles cuz I’m so deep in ya mom

TubbyMutherTrucker 9 6h13m


xxxsur 6 6h13m


12_nick_12 5 4h50m

Yes please do. I'd be honest

Ok-Argument6979 3 6h56m

Depends on the country. In mine, it is 4

aitatheowaway010181 6 7h9m

I should move to your country then

huehuecoyotl23 52 8h12m

Erect or flaccid? I always see these 5.5 or 6 as average and dont know wether im average or woefully small

woodsiestmamabear 174 8h33m

Erect. To get rid of the grower/shower variable.

huehuecoyotl23 71 8h34m

Ok feeling a lot better now lol

Vince_Bernardi 8 16h17m

This post got me cracking fr 🤣🤣🤣

blacktie233 47 15h41m

Honestly the ol' boy looks pretty small when hes dormant, but he gets nice and chunky when hes mad. Lmaoo i love him anyways

MaveroX 9 19h12m

like its amazing that when its really cold my dick shrinks to 1 inch and when fully erect it becomes 6.3in !


bignick1190 14 16h40m

I'm a grower, to slightly above average, and honestly my flaccid dick is absolutely embarrassing, which is odd because of the gaping hole it puts in my confidence.

woodsiestmamabear 20 17h30m

Funny cause, nothing helps a woman feel more appreciated than watching that little guy become a throbbing monster before our eyes, and due to our touch.

psayayayduck 11 17h52m

If it helps any, dicks that are small when flaccid and grow noticeably are absolutely and definitely the very best! Its awesome to take them in your mouth completely and feel it grow too big to fit in ;) in general, they make for much nicer toys than showers imo

FirFlyNeo 5 12h42m

Then what are the end points of measurements? Tip to abdomen or sideways Tip to ball.

skin_diver 15 15h40m

Butthole to about an inch past the tip

Frost-Folk 6 12h56m

Tip to base, easy

pointer_painter 9 14h55m

Shit, I've been measuring mine from my asshole.

The_One_Koi 3 14h48m

Also since you use it erect there is really no need to measure it flaccid

mess_of_limbs 4 15h2m

What if I'm working on my wristwatch ala Puppetry of the Penis?

Carthonn 3 16h30m

My man was up on the roof for a second

cvnvr 19 13h35m

you thought 6 inches could have been the average size of a flaccid dick? i feel like practically every guy in that case would have a very noticeable dick print

Cole_Nowison 45 8h26m

Checked google and its 5" apparently

Lessisalwaysbetter 27 9h57m

I think above 5 is average. Not going to lie mine is 4.7 and i always wish it was just a little big like 5.

Crispy_Pancake 16 21h38m

Username checks out

ZoriaTaylor 20 3h14m

Majority will be average tbh. I’ve had fun with guys with micropenises and guys who were big. As a bisexual man, I don’t get it either. I think people just put their masculinity on dumb things like penis size which no one has any control over

El_Durazno 6 5h48m

Is it really a technique thing?

athural 8 6h3m

Well I haven't had sex with any guys, but there are certainly a lot of different ways you can fuck. It will feel different for both you and your partner when you switch positions, or even just change the way that you're moving. The receiving partners angle is a big variable too

PubofMadmen 11 16h1m

If there were any reason for American men to want to begin using metric it would definitely be in the measurement of their penis.

It took me a few seconds to realize that you all weren’t under developed. 5.5… OMG, did I somehow stumble into a subgroup for dwarfs.

chrisragenj 1 5h47m

That's not very big. Wow. I thought it was at least 6 inches

chargerz4life 1 7h45m

That's a damn lie and you know it! 3.5 is the new average

juicysack420 5 17h15m

I’ll never forget in 9th grade when a girl in my English class raised her hand and asked the teacher if it was true if “it’s not the length, it’s not the size, it’s how many times you can make it rise” was about bread.

salsalady123 4 9h38m

Never think about it. Why do people care? It has to astronomically small or large to care

SirDouglasMouf 3 9h55m

It's not the length but rather girth that is the issue. It sucks bc condoms won't fit and you can hurt your partner unless communication is on point.

TwistedNurples 1732 7m


You ever notice that a common put down towards men that women do is to tell people a guy has a small penis?

Like it or not, penis size is attached to a guy's masculinity and shaming him about inadequate there is a way to emasculate a guy.

It has little to do with actual sex functionality and fit.

awwffsman 735 1h49m

Yeah, "you have a small dick" is one of the 3 standard insults women have

Xaoc86 160 7h18m

There’a also nothing a guy can do about it, like if you’re out of shape, you can work out. If your dick is small, thats pretty much it.

-edit- yes like so many of you have poknted out aCkShUaLlY your dick aize can look bigger if you lose weight, but that’s just allowing more access to what could already be a small dick, so you can stop saying it.

khumbaya23 42 18h30m

like laughing at a blind guy, saying "look at this bitch who cant' see" ?

Economy_Animator4577 106 3h12m

Ya, hurt or angry. People will say lots of hurtful things. Both men and women do it.

Substantial_Hope1933 27 1h53m

I've never heard anyone I personally know say this or use this as an insult. If anyone does, they're just trying to serve a low blow. Women usually do talk amongst themselves about things like this, but the average consensus is most don't prefer excessively large. I've known quite a few people who have tossed some toys because they were too big and uncomfortable for playing with.

awwffsman 24 1h55m

Its mostly used by women who have just lost an argument or didnt have the brains to really start one.

Own-Illustrator-268 88 3h37m

One I hear a lot these days as a slur about a man's vibe and energy is when a woman says something like "you're giving me little dick energy". As if to say your energy is weak, like a small dick, or that you are acting insecure and petty, like a man with a small dick. I've seen and heard it a lot on social media etc.

So basically equating small dick to negative connotations beyond just his dick size. Like it's a 2way street. Small dick = weak man, weak man = small dick.

dketterer1 5 4h3m

Another is "You're a pussy."

I will smack a ho.

LiquidFunkX 2 4h44m

I usually respond to that with, that can't be true, your girl's can take a pounding.

dketterer1 1 4h46m


thehunter_25 1 5h26m

I got backhands like Macklemore, a bitch walk up and I smack a whore.

I'm gonna pop some caps homie got dynamite in my pocket

burnalicious111 3 13h37m

I never interpreted that from the standpoint of the woman actually giving a shit, more she was just trying to hit him where she knew he'd care.

BadgerUltimatum 3 13h57m

What are the other two ?

awwffsman 13 14h21m

Must be gay

Must be shit in bed/has some sexual dysfunction

vicesob 2 9h8m

Also they probably say that after a lengthy relationship and they have had sex 100’s of times and it was good enough then! My favorite rebuttal especially if they have kids together is, well you loved it at least once!

LaScoundrelle 1 3h29m

I saw a case where it was used by a woman whose boyfriend ignored her when she tried to talk about more serious issues in the relationship. Unfortunately, women know it's something that even (or maybe especially) the least sensitive, most sexist guys care about. So sometimes I think it gets used for that reason.

Andrew_stack23 -5 3h47m

Yet we cant use roast beef or ground beef

Goat17038 8 4h2m

Says who? I see that shit all the time

AhegaoSuperstar 1 5h45m

True, but people get real pissy about it.

loadedbakedpopaypo 220 11m

I do! And honestly it’s really sad. So that’s a completely valid point

DS4KC 6 15h39m

Do you do it because you care about the size or because you know that will hurt him?

MentalErection 167 4h27m

100%! It’s like asking why do women care about their breast size? It’s tied to femininity.

Also, every couple weeks I see women asking this question. It’s been beaten to death. Everyone likes to say size doesn’t matter but I see how happy women are about my length and girth. Also, most of them have told me size does matter when it’s just us two. It’s such horseshit. size might not matter to every woman but yet I see their eyes light up when I drop my pants. Can we just start saying size isn’t everything instead? Because the other statement is a total lie.

Chancepiper9 78 7h17m

We saw what you did there. Nice flex.

Notused-Used 13 10h21m

He used his Mental Erection

vicesob 3 9h11m

Lol I was thinking the same!!

DeLoRiggidy 44 6h2m

It depends on the girl tbh. I’ve had complaints about smashing into the cervix which can hurt. And other girls who actually want their cervix hit.

Btw, it varies depending on the woman but I’ve heard the cervix is only 4-8 inches deep. That means an average guy could be too much for a girl on the low end

serious_sarcasm 19 9h6m

The vagina does not stay static during the sexual arousal response.

DeLoRiggidy 14 14h11m

I know, it’s only 3 to 4 inches deep when unaroused according to Google lol

ChromieChameleon017 7 18h4m



Mking9012 6 15h38m

Finally. This was the comment I was looking for. To a lot of women it absolutely does matter, but it’s not everything. I just wish people would stop pretending like it doesn’t matter because it does.

GoneWithTheZen 78 5h32m
JoeDeluxe 34 7h47m

\ /

GoneWithTheZen 32 8h3m


Sheruk 13 8h57m

These big vagina women are getting away with murder...

GoneWithTheZen 5 9h19m

🤏🏼 LOL

kenna-pink 45 42m

Really? On TV I've seen a lot of women shaming men. And I hate it. But in real life I've heard way more dudes shaming each other's dicks whether it's in jest or not. I'm sorry y'all have to put up with it

TwistedNurples 92 58m

TV and other forms of media are still part of the culture and plays a factor. For most guys, it doesn't really play a big role or anything, but insecure guys that are unsuccessful in dating can really take it to heart.

Plus, I've heard girls in real life touch on sexual prowess for dates and it can bring dating to an abrupt end for a guy. One bad performance and the girl you liked will be laughing at you with her friends and she'll never talk to you again. Its just the way it is.

jaydoes 14 5h9m

I'm thinking if a girl does this, she was never serious about you in the first place. I would certainly hope women date us for more than our bedroom ability.

RadikulRAM 6 14h52m

It's an insecurity thing, she's insecure about herself and attacking someone else makes her feel good for a moment. Deflects from herself.

I overheard a girlfriend exaggerate my size to her friends, I piped up that it really isn't that big and if anything they believed her exaggeration more.

Remarkable_Regret_80 27 1h36m

I think guys do it more as a joke but in general I never heard of it again past teenager years. What women do is not openly shaming (at least I never heard of it) but this talking behind a guys back. At least in a way where you talk with your girlfriends about whether the new guy you are seeing is impressive downstairs or not (counting average to small)

latnGemin616 16 1h23m

...way more dudes shaming each other's dicks whether it's in jest or not

Its the easiest zinger to jab men on. That and choice exploits about what they did / will do to the other's Mom/Sis/Wife (GF)

_MrFish_ 6 51m

I never experience it from men very much at all in honesty. Mostly when I was in elementary and middle school. Currently, it's entirely just women for the most part.

This is just my experience though.

87x 3 10h30m


Idk where you saw this. Even looking at a dude's junk (in public toilets) is considered taboo, let alone talking about it. I think you're bullshitting, at least the "way more dudes" part.

abraxsis 5 17h52m

But if you retort with her being overweight, you're suddenly the scum of the earth.

(As former fat guy I would never condone such a comment, but just making the point as it is a salient one.)

ElephantEarwax 6h6m

Yeah, it should really be ball size attached to masculinity.

fedupandalone 1160 1h49m

I think about it sometimes. It's a VERY pervasive and mainstream idea, even if it takes different forms, i.e. 'black guys are always bigger, therefore better", "he must be compensating for his small penis", and don't get me started on the standard the porn industry sets with huge dongs and the actresses that moan louder than the city church bells in the morning.

If anything it's confused me over the years, and I think it'll take longer than my lifetime before men can see their worth past the garbage that's portrayed in popular media.

ornitorrinco22 339 4h49m

That plus you can’t really change that about yourself. It’s very much like height and baldness.

suktupbutterkup 67 12h42m

What no "we must, we must, we must increase our bust" exercises for dicks?

morbiiq 43 16h4m

As an aside, just so you know, there are those of us that prefer natural no matter what.

alexspm 10 15h57m

Not that i know about, it’s a you got it, deal with it kind of shit

CliffRacer17 7 18h57m

Only way a guy can "increase" the size of his dick is to reduce his body fat. The pad of fat around the penis will reduce its effective length as body fat increases. For this reason, I call dieting "archeology". Uncovering "bones" so to speak. Decent motivator, really.

dontworryitsme4real 4 17h33m

Tried it 4 times a day all through my teen years... didnt work.

ElectricMilkShake 3 19h1m

Most dick enlarging exercises can actually fuck up your dicks natural blood flow and can cause ED

Pitiful-Kangaroo8128 5h23m

Yes you can.

ornitorrinco22 5h31m

You can get a surgery that can make you a bit bigger through fat suction and some cuts, but risk impotence in the process. Lovely.

Pitiful-Kangaroo8128 5h42m

Also can cut penile ligament

Da1Don95 37 14h31m

Now imagine being black and not being bigger. You see my struggle?

Warband420 25 15h27m

I was just thinking that, all that expectation oof but tbh if you watch a lot of big dick porn you’ll realise they reuse the same 6 black guys and 4 white guys with big dicks for everything

MaveroX 4 23h56m

because they are the outliers

Warband420 5 1d0h12m

That’s my point

drblocktagon 7 20h23m

girls are generally terrible at gauging size so the placebo effect should still carry you through.

rayparkersr 32 17h11m

Indeed. Also the black man as a sex object with a massive dick trope has been used to make white men feel threatened for centuries and nothing makes people hate someone like feeling sexually inferior.

Last I read there's no difference in the average between African and European.

DrNopeMD 28 17h39m

I remember reading a post someone had made saying that as a black man with an average sized dick he hated the BBC stereotype because women would proposition him and then get disappointed because he didn't live up to their fetishized expectations.

gilium 23 13h37m

Apparently a lot of porn actors are really short and that creates an illusion of penis size. There’s also camera angles, etc, that create illusions of size. These are all things I’ve heard before.

Also both the sexual enjoyment and proportions of people in porn are unrealistic and usually artificial, so, you know

Subacrew98 16 15h47m


Look up the heights of some famous actresses in adult film, they're very often like 5'0", 4'11", etc.

IAmInBed123 16 13h15m

I'm going to say something that probably nobody likes but I do think that people with small dicks sometimes try to compensate. But hear me out, not because they should compensate for their size but because the mainstream idea is a man should. It's the same imo for woman with smaller boobs. The mainstream idea is the bigger the better. And sure... there's a bunch of ladies and dudes that do find that. But there's also a bunch of us that like the smaller size more. I try to explain this to my wife, it took me a couple of years.

WarningWarningWarn 13 19h0m

As a black guy with unit that isnt even 6" i hate the stereotype

archaeosis 4 10h59m

This definitely isn't a "I feel worthless because of my dick size" issue across the board - perhaps for some, but it's a sweeping generalisation. You can be insecure about your dick without it having anything to do with your perception of self-worth. I hate my sausage fingers, I can feel insecure about that whilst also not letting it define my self-worth

ElectricMilkShake 3 19h0m

One thing I have noticed about newer porn is that there are more guys with average/realistic sized dicks now a days. It’s almost like the leaders of the porn world realized they were hurting some men’s pride and was like hey we want you to feel included too.

ExitTheHandbasket 815 1h23m

No man wants to hear "aw, that's cute" when he drops trou.

I don't do casual, and I count the people who've seen my stuff as an adult on one hand. No one has made any disparaging remarks. It works as expected, my partners have a good time, no complaints. I'm objectively average and a textbook grow-er.

Own-Illustrator-268 513 3h51m

Im sure you're not and it wasn't what you were trying to say but you sound like the most underwhelming lover ever 😂.

Your Google reviews, all 2.5 stars with the following comments:

"No disparaging remarks" "Works as expected" "No complaints"


ExitTheHandbasket 170 5h25m

The endowment is just a party favor. You still have to be invited to the party, and hopefully asked to come again (pun intended). Being a good lover is more about knowing your partner, reading her signals, and knowing when to be a cuddle bug and when to ride it like a rented mule.

vicesob 35 9h2m

Why is all the pressure always put on the man to make the sex good? So you get invited to the “party” again? It should be both ways. I hate women that lay there. Like a dam starfish!

InkStainedEyes 11 13h0m

Dude, dead starfish are the worst

Winter_Extreme626 5 17h6m

Dude, you’re not supposed to fuck them after they die. The living ones I find on my beach are awesome

playapixie 7 6h42m


dont_disturb_the_cat 59 6h21m

He sounds like a confident grown-up to me.

sedatemenow 2 6h41m

nah, I'm with them. He sounds like vanilla ice cream.

giggity_0_0 2 7h0m

Lol this sounds like someone’s grandma defending them. “He sounds like a perfectly capable, confident young man to me.”

I think it was just a joke. Objectively it did sound like a textbook 3 star review.

Own-Illustrator-268 2 11h28m

I agree. I was making a joke.

rosssettti 1 7h2m

I tell my husband, “cute dick” all the time. He thanks me and we move on. No harm done.

6ft6btw 729 40m

Some women don't like my size.

And some of those women are people I'd like to continue having relationships with.

I can change everything else. But I can't change the size, therefore we aren't compatible.

emperatrizyuiza 245 4h18m

You’ve had women break up with you because of the size of your penis?

ILoveToph4Eva 502 4h43m

This absolutely a thing.

VivaLaSea 122 6h27m

And a valid thing.
Sex is an important part of a relationship and if your partner can't sexually satisfy you then you two aren't compatible.

ILoveToph4Eva 96 6h30m

Oh absolutely, I often dislike the way some people try to minimize the role sex plays in a relationship.

It doesn't have to be the be all end all for everyone, but it's naive to pretend it's at most a minor thing for most people. It's fairly important for a lot of people out there.

WiIdCherryPepsi 11 15h35m

I wish people would be honest about things. It's hard to take someone's word when minimizing is so horrifically common in relationships. I have not ever met anyone who hasn't tried to minimize something huge and I mean anyone, even just friendships. It is a pervasive 'nicety' that needs to go!

n_ull_ 5 17h7m

I mean if I'm 100% honest than yes, I don't care too much about sex personally, but I get that it's a big deal for others (and also the reason my last relationship failed, as my partner wanted more than I did)

arrouk 6 20h45m

It's like a toilet, it's not why you buy a house, it's not why you stay but if its broken the house is useless

IRL_Mage 56 7h26m

Right? I absolutely need Atleast C cups on a woman otherwise I can't cum.

VivaLaSea 6 8h10m

Then you have every right to want to be with a woman who can make you cum.

Just like a woman has every right to want to be with a man whose penis brings her pleasure. It's weird how so many men get offended by women wanting to actually enjoy sex.

IRL_Mage 21 9h30m

Yeah! I 100% agree with you. In fact, I often find that it is women who get offended when I say something like this, as if their preferences in sex are fine, however men must be fine with 100% of their body otherwise they're a misogynist pig who idealises pornography. /shrug

VivaLaSea 10h41m

Literally every single day there are a plethora of men on here and all the other dating subreddits whining and complaining about women having any type of preferences.

There's literally a bunch of men in this very thread complaining about women having preferences.If a woman dares to mention a height, penis size, or any type of physical preference the men on here literally lose their minds, lol. It's so damn absurd.

And you're a prime example. Just look at how me validating women being able to have a penis size preference caused you to resort to condescending and sarcastic remarks. Like, why are you so bothered?

Chiber_11 34 12h18m

the problem comes from making the dislike quality seem like an objectively inadequate thing

BongusHo 23 14h19m

Well these are the type of comments that make dick size such a sensitive topic, because you've just told every person with a small dick that they can't be in a relationship with the average girl.

You are right that it can be valid, just the way you phrased it makes it sound like sex is only about dick, not drive or oral skill or other compatibilities.


VivaLaSea 4 19h1m


Where exactly did I say that?
The problem is that people do stuff like this, where they twist people's words due to their own insecurity and then they feel bad.

lumiere02 22 19h4m

If I ever dump a guy over that, I can guarantee you it wasn't just the dick size, but the subpar foreplay on top of it. Make me cum and I'll let you fuck me however you want, don't care about the size.

HeartOfSky 10 7h33m

I had a guy I was into refuse to see me a second time, because I was too big for him. Dammit.

TheChickening 6 11h7m

lol. I'd do the same. My current bf is right around average and it's pretty perfect.
I myself am very large and so far only had problems with it.


how do you even become exclusive without exposing the peen?

how do you even become exclusive with exposing the peen?

readonly_user 1 7h8m
12_nick_12 4h51m

To big or small?

RichardPennsylvania 5h58m

Changing for people is not the way to live your life. If they don’t love you as is then they aren’t worth your time

TACR1 590 4m

Depends what you see as the average.

For men seeing another guys dick when it’s not hard means it’s small (obviously compared to erect) however as men this is usually where the changing room or whatever the scenario turns into ‘look at this lads tiny dick’

It’s usually more of a ‘lad’ thing and then it leads to a complex behind the banter.

I find as men we laugh at ‘banter’ that’s actually just insults and then sometimes it actually cuts deep but we have to laugh it off or we’re pussies. Usually worse at school and in some jobs lol.

Jimdandy941 331 2h55m

Locker rooms are the worst with the grower vs. shower issue.

TheBigZamboni85 282 3h22m

Yup. I have an inch when flaccid but 6.5 when erect. My girl tells me she loves watching it grow though so I’m good. Locker rooms were weird though. Wasn’t like I was gonna go full mast to tell them to take a piss

starry_cobra 240 3h52m

Would've been a huge power move

ArcticCelt 81 6h30m

If a shower taunt you, you immediately lock eye contact and say "my secret cap, is I am always horny "then start growing a full mast.

vidyutmandrake 8 8h51m

Gonna use this

dketterer1 57 4h1m

Hahahaha. But you would immediately need to say how you got the rod bro!!! In this homophobic society, you would be crucified.

starry_cobra 90 4h16m

They're the ones staring at your erect penis

dketterer1 70 4h17m

You know how I know you're gay?? Cuz your dick tastes like shit.

HeapOfBitchin 12 5h50m

6.5 inches of power

gumpythegreat 83 4h15m

Holy shit that's quite a grower. I didn't realize such growth was possible

You should definitely get hard to establish dominance in locker rooms

TheBigZamboni85 112 4h17m

TMI, but my girl tells me her favorite part about my ween is putting it in her mouth and feeling it grow. She said she had never seen anything like it and I’m cool with it lmao

Growing up though I was super self conscious and then I got my first erection and I was like okay, not as bad as I thought. Where you been all this time lmao

cozyboijoao 53 5h10m

Deadass 😅

I remember getting intimate with my highschool gf and constantly having to tell her to let me “warm up”. Same boat as you, tiny lil baby looking dick into something decent

tuenthe463 9 6h10m

Zero chance you remember your first erection

Niko_47x 3 13h24m

Not saying I'd want to gobble down on your cock but I bet it'd feel pretty cool.

(no homo)

Aggravating-Golf5756 3 13h27m

What kind of self respecting man says 'ween'

ChazJ81 2 4h55m

A guy can't say "TMI/ween" it's wrong. Lol

thissubredditlooksco 2 8h31m

why do i want to try this now lmao

Lone_survivor87 17 4h49m

I saw a similar comment before and the redditor proved it with a post. It was kinda mind blowing

dketterer1 9 5h12m

You mean "dick....blowing."

toderdj1337 5 5h11m

Yeah that slightly more extreme than mine, but not much. Girlfriends also giggled but obviously loved it so I was very confused as a young man.

vicesob 2 9h12m

I’m about the same 2.5 soft 7.75 erect.

Jimdandy941 2 7h56m

I can pretty much second what bigZ says. I will add that erect length can vary based on how excited I am but generally 6-6.5, but I was generally larger when I was younger.

JmoneyHimself 2 8h52m

Dude I’m the same I have a skinny tiny looking soft dick and was made fun of for it in locker rooms growing up playing sports. It actually hurt me pretty bad and made me feel super insecure. However it never affected my relationships since my erection is 6inches. I feel way less insecure now then I did back then obviously I wish I could have just laughed it off tho. Since my penis is smaller than almost peoples soft it made me insecure but erect it’s obviously totally normal

Acornpoo 2 5h15m

Prefer to be a shower in the shower.

Godly_Sinner 1 6h18m

throws me back when an old dude was trying to have a conversation with me with his cock out

trash332 112 5h22m

When I was In the Army you will invariably see lots of dick. I found that I was average but goddam I seen where dudes shit was hitting halfway down their thigh soft very intimidating.

THROW4AWAY131 75 5h43m

That may be the case but it most likely doesn't grow any larger when erect

blindmediaproduction 16 12h36m

May still be way larger than some of us.

thepink_knife 3 20h7m

I'm 5'10, so there is no way this guys dick is bigger than me.

phxainteasy 6 6h51m

Wouldn’t growers assume they would?

THROW4AWAY131 9 6h54m

I guess? But like I said, usually that isn't the case.

dicetime 15 8h46m

Always wondered about this as a grower. How can it not? To me its incomprehensible. Does it just go straight up? Is it not as hard? I have no idea

Treuzelaar 5 13h2m

I'm wondering about this as well occasionally. I guess it's not as hard. Sometimes when looking at NSFW videos you see flexible erect penises and girls doing all kinds of stuff with it that wouldn't be possible with mine when erect. So I'm wondering if growers get harder than showers.

LightGlows 4 13h13m

As i understand it being a grower or not has no correlation with your "limp" size

So you can be a 1incher that goes to 6 when hard and you can be a 5 incher that goes to 10 when hard

but you can also be a 1 incher that goes to 3 when hard and you can be a 5 incher that goes to 7 when hard

This is just a feel good nonsense that people like shovelling towards small dicked guys

I know 2 guys with 9+ inches and they are both growers, hell just watch any big dick porn, most of these monsters grow

aferretwithahugecock 26 11h4m

Dong so long it hits the toilet water when they shit

Websta114 416 3h51m

You give me a choice between how big your dong is, 3 inches or 9 inches, I’ll tell you right fuckin now which one 100% of all males in this thread will pick. Bigger might not be “better” but pulling it out of your pants with your woman and her looking genuinely surprised every time and being horny possessive of it dismisses all comments that would suggest otherwise. I would rather mine be bigger, it’s an ego thing. Would rather be bigger and have more control over where I can explore than be smaller and less surgical.

FYI: it’s smaller unfortunately

vicesob 48 9h16m

You can always put more in with a bigger penis!

MadKingRyan 96 11h34m

forreal. if you have 9" to play with, and your partner prefers a 6" dick, guess what? just give them the first 6"! if you have a 3 incher and they prefer 6", good luck! fuck 'em twice, I guess?

RemuIsMaiWaifu 41 17h21m

There's the old joke of a woman saying "I want 9" and I want it to hurt" and the dude says "how about I fuck you twice and punch you in the face?"


bee-sting 15 14h17m

Ive slept with men who have bigger dicks and most of them struggle with just putting 6" in

It can hurt quite a bit if they accidentally thrust too much

arkaodubz 8 21h6m

just wanna say, this isn't really how it works. First of all, sucks to only dip half your wick, but that's the least of the issues. The bigger problem is never cutting loose, because many women find any cervix contact at all excruciating (although I've know some who actively enjoyed it, and some that normally find it excruciating but enjoy it closer to climax), so you need to either be in perfect control or rely on positions where you can't get full penetration even if you try, which is limiting if either of you have preferred positions that aren't like that. And something is lost when you're in your head making sure you don't slip a bit past 6" - it's hard to be the passionate enthusiastic lover you want to be when you're walking that tightrope. Also means any deep penetration positions are out the window even if you enjoy them for other reasons. There's also issues if you have trouble cumming without full penetration - it's really fucking hard to get across "it's not your fault that I didn't cum, and I still enjoyed it, and it has nothing to do with how good / sexy / wonderful you are" from the male side, since the expectation is that dudes always cum. This has caused severe relationship issues for me in the past, despite my best efforts to communicate that whether or not I came had nothing to do with how much I enjoyed making love to the person.

And that's not even getting into girth. I've had sexual encounters that pretty much made a potential relationship DOA because, due to simple physical incompatibility, even with extreme amounts of foreplay and mood setting and preparation and careful, cautious entry, over multiple days / attempts, there was just no way to make it work regardless of how deep you did or didn't go.

At the end of the day, I won't lie and say I'd rather have a micropenis, or even be smaller in general - it certainly is tied to masculine ego and sexual identity and it makes me feel good when I can use the size well. I probably got laid a few times when I was younger just because it got out at school that I was packing and that generated a certain kind of sexual interest. But nowadays if I was in a freak accident and lost an inch or two I wouldn't be too upset. With the exception of women I've been with that are size queens or explicitly into pain / cervix contact, being at the high end of the bell curve has meant being super cautious with new partners, learning how to read each other and not cause any physical or emotional pain, figuring out which positions worked for a given partner, and sometimes accepting that you're just not compatible with some people.

Roundabout way of saying, it's not as easy as 'just only go 6" deep, what's the issue.' Being big def has its perks but it's not all sunshine and roses.

wannabeallbymyself 10 10h32m

In my experience (as both a woman and the go-to girl when my friends want to talk about sex stuff), bigger is almost never actually better. I can think of tons of examples where being too big was an instant deal-breaker. There have been a few times where my friends were wary/disappointed because their man’s dick was smaller than expected, but their reaction was never “oh my god that’s awful I don’t want to have sex anymore.” They just crossed their fingers and hoped he knew what he was doing (or would be willing to learn). Whenever diminutive mister bits are a dealbreaker, it’s almost always because the guy’s hangups/lack of confidence/refusal to participate in foreplay, not because small dicks can’t get the job done.

patorac63 7 12h5m

bigger is almost never actually better

If it makes you sleep easier...


How big is too big? It's funny how people here go to the extremes when talking about how big dicks are too big for women. 9 inches that many people here talk about is extremely rare. 7 and 8 still exist and they aren't too big. And they're much better.

LightGlows 4 13h18m

Yep, would love to rock a 7 or 8

i'm at 6(and by 6 i mean 5,9) which is decent but it's still more average than above average

emmasdragons 3 13h13m

So being "horny possessive" helps you feel better about it?

I'm asking cause the guy I'm currently talking to has casually dropped once or twice (in a joking manner) that he's got a small penis.

I don't know if it's because he wants validation or because he just wants me to know, and I really don't care about his size. He's great and I want to put his dick in my mouth, no matter how big.

Sorry for babbling, I guess my question simply is: Are there things you want to hear from partners that make you feel good about your size?

gilium 12 14h14m


Yea just tell him that

emmasdragons 3 14h53m

I shall

Websta114 3 13h40m

It’s the feeling of desire from the partner that helps with the intimacy. Like you’d be vocally claiming that I’m yours, helps create the feeling of belonging and establishing your partners place kind of? Like when my mrs grabs my bits when we’re in the midst and says my dick or my man. It feels nice to be wanted I guess :)

From the sounds of it, he’s being satirical to influence your expectations so not to over hype himself etc. It’s ironic when someone brags about how massive his dick is but then it turns out to be average or whatever. Same time I guess if the whole ‘oh it’s small lmao’ thing becomes reoccurring it might be worth clubbing it on the head. Self loathing after awhile becomes repetitive and cringe.

To answer your question not necessarily, the insecurity stems from the desire to be wanted. If you temper that I don’t think the size of the bits insecurity exists as an anxiety anymore because it’s not relevant, your partner wants you and you want her :)

Hope this helps, I’m sure your partners worries will fade with a little time :) just make sure he looks after you too!

FlossCat 3 14h13m

It's definitely validation he's looking for. Every guy worries about it sometimes, but reassurance that they don't need to be worrying from a partner is the most reliable way of putting those fears to rest.

The thing is - when you praise someone's dick for its size, that ultimately just props up the insecurity complex, because that reinforces that it would be a nice dick because of its size. The worry that it's not really a good size will invariably creep back in this way, there will almost always be an angle to doubt that praise from.

Nearly every man needs to feel validated sexually by being wanted and desired sexually. If you make him feel wanted and valued sexually, it's gonna be much less easy for him to start worrying whether his body is good enough. Talking about liking his dick without putting it in terms of size is a good way to do this - "your dick feels so good" is a much better compliment in this area than "your dick is so big".

ZeldLurr 3 14h12m

I’m sorry, but If I were about to get intimate with a guy and he pulled out a huge 9inch penis I would refuse to have sex with him.

What the heck do you mean less surgical?

MaquiseStoneskin 407 4h2m

I can't speak for others, but for me, it only takes one single Size Queen to destroy my self confidence. I'm average on my best day, & while I don't have a problem with that in general, it was an area of insecurity with me for a very long time. I've reached the point where I don't really care anymore, but I'm also nearly 40. Tell a 20 year old who has seen so many films & TV shows with the big dick jokes that size doesn't matter & they're not about to believe you. Even if 99% of women legitimately believe it doesn't matter, it only takes that 1% for you to feel inadequate.

BurningOrangeHeaven 40 6h45m

it only takes that 1% for you to feel inadequat

Maybe her pussy just too big then.

Xaoc86 -1 7h20m

This is also a not helpful view as it’s rooted in misogyny. We don’t want women to say this about our dicks, we shouldnt say this about their vaginas.

Trichromatical -2 6h4m

Why give them that power? I can tell you now, way more than 1% of women don’t just prefer average, they actively do not like larger sizes.

If you want every woman on earth (or every person who is attracted to cis men) to prefer your dick size, you’ve set yourself up for failure.

mfw04071 295 G 1m

Knowing some dude has been farther into your woman that you ever physically can kinda hurts.

Knowing they’ve made her feel things you can’t ever do kinda hurts too.

Wit-wat-4 121 1h12m

If it helps at all g-spot reach is way more important than “banging on the cervix door” for pretty much anyone other than size queens/fans for who enjoy the psychological aspect (but that same thing can be said for women who really love, I don’t know, muscular legs. One friend wouldn’t stop talking about the legs of a footballer she slept with).

I say this because your sentence doesn’t surprise me actually, because as rarely as I listen to porn “dialogue”, I’ve definitely heard what you said. “Bet your ex never reached this far” and she says “oh yes only you can make me cum like this”. And sometimes the woman cums JUST as the cock enters her fully for the first time, just sets her off because it “reached places”. Like… I don’t know who has a cervix orgasm button, no girl/woman I’ve known does!

ILoveToph4Eva 73 4h52m

There are some women who seem to enjoy the physical sensation of a much larger penis stretching them and going deeper. It's not particularly common but also not nearly rare enough to write off.

I think we just need to find healthy ways to view sexual incompatibility the same way we view other forms of incompatibility. As it is we take the sexual incompatibility much more personally.

Some women are gonna care about the size of your penis. Many won't, but some will. It's just another form of incompatibility.

Unusual_North 9 4h58m

It just depends. Some women like pressure by the cervix and it does make a difference.

sjsjdejsjs 51 3h17m

to be honest, reaching too far just hurts. cervix is, for most women, a painful zone

lane_gug 3 8h33m

I've heard stories of vagina bruising, sounds painfu

sjsjdejsjs 4 11h36m

never happened to me but just barely touching the cervix hurts a lot so i wouldn’t ever want that to happen to me ahah omg

Warband420 3 15h40m

Stimulation of the anterior fornix is always more successful in my partner having an orgasm than her gspot: if my dick was smaller I literally would not be able to reach it.

Edit: for clarity mine is 8” and she really grinds it in there!

Own-Illustrator-268 -11 3h44m

That's because they're not hitting it hard enough, you need a bigger one 🤣

beaumonte 11 4h34m

What… she just said hitting it hard hurts. And now you’re telling her they’re not hitting it hard enough? Makes no sense lol

Own-Illustrator-268 4 5h12m

I wasn't being serious. It was meant satirically because in porn they pound the women hard even though their dick is too big, and the women moan in "pleasure" when they do it.

beaumonte 3 6h2m

Ah. My bad, hard to convey tone through text I guess.

loadedbakedpopaypo 26 4m

Aw, I didn’t think about it like that. :(

penis_in_my_hand 24 56m

I've never thought about it like that either for what it's worth and I'm a man.

I don't know if that's the reason...

VulgarButFluent 5 16h24m

When i was young(er) and dumb(er) i was dating a girl i was head over heels for. Around the year mark she cheated on me with an older guy at her work and made a point of commenting on how large his dick was and how much better it was, etc.

I want to say it didnt bother me. I wish i could say im over it. But its been 7 or 8 years and i still think about it all the time. Ive struggled to form meaningful relationships since, wasted college years being insecure and have suffered from low self-esteem.

I know from the numbers perspective, like most guys, that im perfectly average, but it doesnt feel that way. Lot of comments here mention the "F-350 driver haha smol peen" comments associate "small penis" to "asshole" which is bad, but lets also not forget like size 00 dress models, most porn involves larger than average penises and treat them as "normal". I watch a lot of porn(not a good thing i admit) and i do not see a lot of dicks that look like mine.

truth-watchers2ndAcc 3 20h40m

Iam sorry for you man I hope it gets better (sending you good vibes through your phone)

mikeyman222 3 8h45m

just get a bigger toy if she likes the "feel". There's nothing emasculating about caring for your partner's pleasure.

threearbitrarywords -3 3h44m

Uh ... What the fuck? Also, what the fuck?

Supermite -14 3h55m

Well that's an incredibly insecure mindset.

BettyBlueVelvet 50 4h18m

Hm. I think he actually has some emotional maturity going on, to be able to identify those feelings, and share them. And here you are trying to shame him. Looks far worse on you than it does on him.

mfw04071 26 4h21m

Haha right? I’m not saying I have these thoughts all time, just answering the question


I don’t think he’s shaming him. It IS emotionally mature to identify insecure feelings / mindsets. Doesn’t make them not insecure.

BettyBlueVelvet 2 5h13m

I disagree, but appreciate the distinctions in your perspective.

tcatron565 9 6h43m

That's... That's the point? Did you think men having issues with their dick size was going to come from a place of secure mindsets?

This entire post boils down to "why are men insecure about their dick size." Any answer is going to be about their insecurities.

Different_Image_8035 229 2m

We're competitive... if we could give birth we'd make that into a competition to... "How far did you shoot yours?".

TrashAllRoles 230 7m

This already exists with women. 'My Labour was worse because it went for 12 hours' etc lol

azuth89 116 9m

My baby was 10 lbs!

I did it without an epidural!


TrashAllRoles 19 10m

Exactly 😂

Different_Image_8035 24 12m

Oh yeah mine was 20lbs and I was in labour for 5 days!

dhhdhh851 12 3h30m

Baby railguns?

captain_intenso 229 2h42m

Seeing as how a penis spends 95% of its time flaccid, the whole grower vs. show-er thing should be common knowledge. If I'm not getting ready for penetration, my size should be irrelevant.

AreAnyNamesEvenLeft 77 16h3m

And no one mentions the huge variance in what flaccid actually is even with the same peen. A wide range of sizes day to day, situation to situation.

Hook_me_up 5 18h38m

Dude. My flaccid penis is probably 1 or 2 cm, but i grow to 11,5cm erect.

Elan_Sedai 5 19h8m

Mine is about 10 cm flaccid and grows to about 17.5 cm erect. I thought I was a grower, but you are extreme.

detectiveDollar 3 17h50m

Thank God I was a nerd cause I would have gotten roasted hard if I skinny dipped in high school and what not.

El-Kabongg 3 18h25m

I was already getting aroused during pre-naked foreplay, so never an issue for me. My girl sees me walking around naked, she already knows my erect size.

subiewoo89 228 1h6m

I'm comfortable with my size. I'm a little above the average size when erect, but I'm more concerned with the quality of erection. I need to adjust my diet some in order to have better boners.

VicktorVector 162 4h53m

Dude I lost like 30 pounds…. My penis got bigger.

sedatemenow 73 6h48m

I've heard that for every 35 pounds you lose, an inch of penis length is exposed at the base.

I too have recently lost some major weight (86 pounds), my shit is looking legit and my wife is back to telling me it hurts when we do it. (which is actually a huge pain in the ass. I can't stroke like I want to. I'm forced to do this light thrust, fast jiggle thing when I want to finish.)

SkeletonWallflower 29 8h38m

Have you heard of OhNut?

sedatemenow 11 9h8m

I have not. Thanks for the heads up.

Wankeritis 17 9h42m

I bought my SO one of those because he kept punching me in the cervix with his dick and then sex would end with me crying and bleeding.

It’s worked well for us when we’re doing it in certain positions.

alamaias 4 15h18m

Happened to me back when I lost weight, you just gotta change positions man, you will find you can do a lot more now you have the length. Best one I found is to alter missionary so that you sit back on your heels and pull her up so her butt is sat on your thighs. She has a bit of control over the depth and you put much more stimulation on her g-spot :)

but_a_simple_petunia 14 7h17m

more like you could now actually see past your own hill of a gut

deadlinft 38 3h55m

Lifting weights should help as well.

BoobDoktor 4 17h46m

Yup, it increases testosterone. Note that exogenous testosterone doesn't help, it makes you into an acne covered meathead with small testicles and a pickup truck.

Treuzelaar 3 21h41m

Ah so that's why I've been horny as a rabbit since I started working out.

Darth_Bahls 28 4h3m

What kind of diet is best for that? Never heard of trying this.

LightGlows 12 13h16m

Any diet that is good for your heart will be good for your ereection

both are artery/vein related

not something you need to stress over though if you have hard erecetions, this is a "solution" to guys who have minor Erectile disfunction

ilikenglish 5 4h34m

Me too! I wanna know!

ILoveToph4Eva 23 4h45m

I'd imagine just a standard healthy diet tbh. Eat a lot less processed food, keep yourself well hydrated, eat your fruit and veg in good amounts, and don't overdo your overall food intake.

Combine that with regular exercise to keep your heart and vascular system in good shape and it should be incredibly unlikely that you suffer from any biologically derived erectile issues unless you have an actual medication condition.

sleepydadbod 4 9h38m

Dude go plants based. I started during first lockdown ... long story short, my member could literally catapult anything next door

HeartOfSky 3 7h35m

I was about to try Keeps hair restoration. After I ordered, I decided to look the treatments up. A very as small percentage of men suffered long-term decreases in the firmness of their erections.

I canceled my subscription and through the products in the trash. No way I'm sacrificing firmness for fuller hair. I love both, but have limits.

oidagehbitte2 214 24m

I never cared about it until it became a problem with a partner.

Cutiebeautypie 26 4h32m

That partner is not worth it

tyranthraxxus 51 7h6m

He didn't say it was problem to his partner.

I've had sex with women where I couldn't even feel anything when I was inside them. I've had sex with women where I couldn't even get it in without tearing them open because I was too big. I'm not going to continue to be with any of those partners because sex is really fucking important and if you aren't sexually compatible it makes perfect sense to go your separate ways.

That decision doesn't say anything about my worth as a person, nor theirs.

tarantulabiscuits 27 7h10m

would you sleep with a guy who had a micropenis on a regular basis tho?

oidagehbitte2 21 10h26m

No one was to blame, none of us was responsible for our anatomy. We tried to make the best out of it by switching to hands and oral - but that meant to go without what we both liked the most and sex became boring quick which negatively influenced our relationship.

DarthVeigar_ 187 4m

Because we live in a society that peddles that bigger is better and makes fun of men that aren't well endowed.

I don't care because I know I'm not small but someone that is would care especially when they've heard men get put down for their size or have had it happen to them.

A man's penis is seen as a sign of masculinity by society

Because we live in a society that pedals that bigger is better and makes fun of men that aren't well endowed.

penis_in_my_hand 23 28m




Queensofnothing 7 4h45m

Username is weirdly appropriate

Basketballjuice 145 4h0m

yes, because I've been conditioned to. Small junk makes people "less of a man" according to society. And being less of a man as a man is being less of a person.

Luckily mine is about average.

Manbearjizz 3 10h46m

everyone wanna be a man. even bitchz. because being a man means being powerful and everyone wants power

Jay_Bonk 139 2h57m

I wish I was thicker. I'm OK in length but average in width so it looks slim.

JmoneyHimself 42 9h0m

Same here I’m 6 inches long but pretty skinny. What can you do lol

ImAlwaysRightHanded 16 15h38m

“It’s all in the hips.”

MarcGregSputnik 3 12h56m

Bathmate everyday

DementedWarrior_ 3 20h11m

It’s ya boy, skinny penis

not_myself22 34 11h7m

Yo, it's your boy...

Skinny penis

MattDiedInACarCrash 9 18h46m

It’s as if no one grasps this is a possibility because people frequently try to be comforting, saying, “it’s okay, girth matters more than length!” lmao

sleepydadbod 8 9h47m

You need to embrace what you have. I'm above average, but I spent many years of my life and kissed out on so many opportunities because when I was 14 a girl (whilst we 2 boys and 2 girls were laying on a bed chatting) put her hand down my trousers and had a sneak peak (without my consent), I pushed her away and rejected her (I didn't know her to well, I was the tag along for my mate).

At school she went around telling everyone I had a small dick, the more I think about it no one bar a mate mentioned it to me. No one cares. All those years spent wishing I was thicker and longer, and it never mattered!

I've accepted what I have and ignore what was/May have been said. My sex life is incredible now!

yellowsuitstyling 7 16h41m

Just wanted to comment on this as thicker isn't always better. If they're thinner they can leverage against certain spots which isn't possible with additional girth. It's all about the angle, use this to your advantage!

Finboror 3 12h6m

I'm average in length but thick in thickness. That's sometimes a problem

MarcGregSputnik 3 12h57m

Penis pump, I use Bathmate.

Your wish just got granted. Balls in your court now

AydanOfHouseCock 124 5h53m

Spend any time online or with people and soon enough you’ll see posts or comments shaming, making fun of, or laughing at small dicks. It’s become completely normalised to make fun of and humiliate small dicks, and is tied to things such as ugliness, impotence, and general unattractiveness (little dick energy being a normal thing to say, can you imagine if we used “fat woman energy” when something was undesirable??)

It is the most openly acceptable form of body shaming in the world, that destroys men’s self-confidence and esteem

robotguy99 25 13h4m

haha and also, constantly equating bad behavior or hopeless/asshole men to having small dicks, it does nothing but put down men with small dicks

penis_in_my_hand 120 25m

I'm like the high end of average.

Normal women don't comment on the size one way or the other. Very tight women are like "wow you're big" but it's like somebody who's 5 foot telling you you're tall.

Feel like it's the perfect size so i don't think about it much, no.

GuerroCanelo 85 1h46m

I’ll say what everyone in the comments doesn’t want to say, show us your cock

anoguy40 24 44m

Now I want to know how big

Serpentine812 15 48m


penis_in_my_hand 13 53m

That's what she said

WhaaaBangBam 1 6h30m

I'm 6.6-7 depending on the mood or how worked up I am. From my few partners I've received comments/compliments on my size. Idk if that's just them being nice but it seemed genuine and it came up more once with some.

That being said, I used to be super concerned and even upset with my size. It was something I over thought a lot and looking back.. it's not THAT big of a deal.

fuzznutz77 15 2h46m

Username checks out

Toisty 6h22m

You just had to bring height into the conversation, didn't you!?

slayer_mike 115 S 34m

My trash bin is 68 gallons of capacity, so as long as my junk fits in there, it’s all good.

sabrepeppergel 2 1h30m

Are you talking about the big one you keep in your driveway for the garbage truck? Or is this some other trash can entirely?

YungBonaparte 110 1h57m

Yes and no. I usually get more frustrated when height is brought up in conjunction. I’m a short man, but I’m on the higher end of average in terms of size. I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t hurt when I hear the “oh he’s tall I bet he’s proportional down there” type conversations. A lot of women seem to correlate height with size and there seems to be a lack of evidence on the relationship between the two.

It really makes me think how many women have just assumed I have a small penis because I’m short height wise? I’ve had multiple partners make “yeah you’re size definitely surprised me” comments and even had a woman who heard about my size from another say “yeah honestly I figured you’d have a pretty small dick” that shit hurt.

So yes and no. I know it “gets the job done,” but sometimes women’s ignorance on male anatomy causes me to care about it.

perceptionactionprof 35 3h56m

Yep I'm a short guy too and once in a group of friends this one terrible woman blurted out "whats it like to have the smallest dick here?" I was like "wtf?" And so she pointed out i was the shortest guy in the group so thus I surely had the smallest dick.

Swathe88 67 7h13m

"What's it like to be the dumbest cunt in the room?"

biggs1269 34 3h7m

I don’t get it either…I’ve seen plenty of 5’6” guys in the shower room with knee knockers. Short guys can have big dicks, and they look bigger. Put my penis on a guy a foot shorter than me and he’s a porn star. It just looks average on me.

BearBlaq 10 6h20m

There was a AMA with this dwarf dude not to long ago and dude said he had a 7 incher. Legit a third leg for him lol, and if I remember right there no real correlation between penis size and the rest of the body, it does what it wants.

saileee 5 10h55m

At that point I'd be worried about passing out when I get an erection.

orangesunsetshine 10 7h36m

You are absolutely right. I was told by a gay friend that his ex (who was 5'4" and of an ethnicity that is usually stereotyped to have smaller penises) had an 8-incher. It surprised the hell out of him lol.

RepresentativeLet686 5 10h13m

I’ll admit. I used to think this too, until I dated a shorter guy. I’m 5’9” and he was 5’6” and he was the biggest and best in bed. I also dated a guy that was 6’4”a pretty small one, but still pretty good in bed, but obviously the assumption that height is correlated with size is just garbage. I no longer care about height nor size.

basicwhytegrl 4 3h43m

Currently sleeping with a short guy who has an absolute hammer attached to him. Thick as hell and long.

This is the second time I’ve encountered this and I will never underestimate short men lol

Slaycouleex 4 16h57m

i dont know about other women but i have never assumed dick size to correlate to height. and even if it does, dick size doesnt define you and it certainly isnt everything during sex.

DaFountain98 3 17h15m


In my personal experience, it’s the short skinny white boys who always have donkey dick this is ridiculous who are these women smh

not_the_notebook 0 4h10m

Please don’t ask me why I know this but when I looked into the science of it, height is the best predictor of dick size we have - other than race/ethnicity - better than things like hand size and foot size. Still the variance isn’t all that statistically significant.

friendly_raccoon123 8h28m


FrontBackBrute 73 5h37m

Terms like “Big Dick Energy” or “Pickup Truck Drivers have small penises” constantly reinforce the societal ideal that either you have a big dick, or your a weak, insecure, feminine, cowardly, unable to please woman, jackass. It’s hard to move past all that societal messaging. I’m slightly below average (wayyyy below average flaccid) and i dont want it to hurt me emotionally, but it does. it makes me feel insecure, and small, and cheated by life. Like im not enough and never will be, ill always be missing out. It feels like it says something about my value as a person even though rationally i know it doesnt.

MoveZneedle 3 2d9h39m

This makes me sad. I'm just barely above average and thankful. I'm not huge but I'm not small either. But what you said about moving past the societal messaging is so on point. Imo, social media use has reinforced this idea even more.

I'm on the shorter side of height (I'm 5'7) and I think it's the same thing as saying I'm not a man because I'm short. So I understand where you're coming from. It's a terrible feeling.

IWant2BABillionaire 64 4m


Why? Idfk some Freudian shit

notme1414 1 23m

Definitely. Women generally don't care.

McBlyat710-2 9 4h54m

Hold on... say that again.

notme1414 0 6h14m

Most women don't really care. It's pretty far down on the list of what matters

Working-Quality-3925 5 6h23m

This is totally false a lot of women do care

notme1414 1 6h39m

I said most, not all. Most don't care.

Working-Quality-3925 1 7h4m

Most absolutely do care that they’re not smaller than average. I feel like by forcing this narrative that women don’t care, we subtly demonize women’s sexuality. Why is it so important for you that women don’t care? It’s obviously not the main or only factor for how you choose a partner but most women do not like dicks that are smaller than average.

notme1414 2 7h6m

I am a woman.

I've been part of many conversations with my pals over the years. I've never met a woman that cared. The size has nothing to do with how much you enjoy the sex. I'm not demonizing anything.

Working-Quality-3925 3 7h14m

I guess we have just completely different experiences bc I’m a woman and most women I’ve talked to about it with agree that smaller than average penises are not as pleasant to have sex with and that’s been my experience as well. I think size is definitely a factor of the enjoyment of penetrative sex. I’m not talking pornstar big I mean like 6 inches vs 3. I respect that most women in your life don’t but I experience the opposite

Agent_Ray_Velcoro -1 5h33m

Some definitely do... Most? Not really, but there's a reason women have 10 inch dildos

THROW4AWAY131 3 6h0m

So that they can have a better grip on it.

Agent_Ray_Velcoro 2 6h34m

don't need 5 inches of grip. Keep coping

ADickByAnyOtherName 62 3h29m

Sometimes, I mean I care enough to not use the urinals and instead use the stall. But I don't feel insecure about it with my partner, she has a thing for small dicks.

She's taller than me too, and she also has a thing for small tiny guys. I seriously thought she was lying about it to make me feel better until I walked in on her watching porn of a short guy with a small dick getting pegged.

It works out too bc she is a little insecure about her smaller breasts, but I honestly love them. Both because they're hot and because they're attached to the woman I love.

Arcapella 37 5h0m

This is an oddly cute comment lol

ADickByAnyOtherName 4 14h9m

Thanks! I think!

DraculasGrief 12 10h16m

So basically she associates short guys and small penises as feminine and submissive? fml

ADickByAnyOtherName 6 14h7m

Sure, whatever

If she loves me then she loves me, no point in trying to pretend to be masculine if I'm not

ADickByAnyOtherName 4 14h9m

Also, don't be discouraged if you would like to achieve being really masculine but are short

There are women who are fully adult but are 4 ft 11! You just gotta find a gal who's short compared to you, y'know?

Manbearjizz 3 11h29m

death by snu snu

atavaxagn 61 5h33m

My roommate has a large dick. A lot of girls might not prefer them; but a lot of girls really really really enjoy them.

A lot of guys prefer small titties. But stereotypically men prefer large titties (at least in the US). A lot of guys like fat women, but stereotypically men prefer skinny women. Do women not feel self conscious about having small titties or being fat because a lot of men enjoy those things?

While women face a lot of pressure to look conventionally attractive; guys feel a lot of pressure to be good at pleasing their woman. While guys may be more concerned about their package than women; women are a lot more concerned about many things about their appearance than men are.

heseme 5 14h34m

Im 95% in length and 98% percentile in girth according to https://calcsd.info

Some observations from my side of the issue: 1. I love my dick, my erections and sex involving it

  1. I have had around 30 partners. Some absolutely love the size of my dick. Either for physiological or psychological reasons. Another good chunk complimented on it, but that might be because they figured I liked it or it just is a compliment that is easily available. Another chunk didn't care at all.

  2. Most women who like my cock aren't size queens in the stereotypical sense. Its more like for guys if a woman turns out to have amazing tits. Tou enjoy them, you compliment them, but a less amazing pair of tits wouldn't turn you off. Therefore, the issue is absolutely overblown.

  3. On the other hand, I have had no r/bigdickproblems after I've found the proper condoms (guys, varying width in condoms is a game changer).

  4. I have had only very few partners where we couldn't bang as wild as we wanted, at least given a progression. I don't know whether they would judge this negatively, but I wouldn't. It was still enjoyable sex.

  5. My main partner praises my dick for physical and psychological reasons, and wants to get banged roughly, but would never come without slower gentler movements and ultimately her clitoris. I just say this to make clear that no, a big dick doesn't make for good sex, obviously. And no, having a big dick doesn't prevent you from being good at sex either.

Superrichie17 56 1h5m

No cuz I dont get to use it for the sexy anyway

Savage-Intellect 7 9h24m

sad noises

TheDarkKnight1035 56 1h8m

All I care about is if it makes my wife CUM, which it does. So I'm good.

friendly_raccoon123 5 8h29m


elitehaya 55 2h55m

I don’t like mine because I’ve had health issues, like phimosis, and that helped make my parts look bad. Also, it’s on the lower end of average and seems small compared to the rest of my body. There’s no credible standard for me about it being enough or not for sex, but I don’t see me testing this hypothesis anytime soon.

Another detail is the social impact of it all. Porn is an obvious reference that usually throws people down. In the real world, this “problem” is usually the first to be weaponized as an insult, just like sex life. This comes from both men and women alike, but from women it hurts deeper.

Veleda390 2 5h45m

Don't undercut yourself, there are definitely women who are not superficial and not looking for porn dick. There's no reason that you've listed why you shouldn't be able to find a mate as well as anyone.

elitehaya 4 7h29m

How my parts look are not the reason I’m not using them, but thanks anyway.

Iwanttobeapharoh 47 1h4m

Normally no

It only happened in the one or two times I tried sexting and got worried if my size would not be to the other side liking

Ooooooaaaaaaa 43 8h54m

What’s it like having a small dick? Mine’s a 47 incher, full AMOLED display, has surround sound speakers and can connect to the internet both by wifi and wire.

Ooooooaaaaaaa 13 8h55m

It’s also Bluetooth enabled

adamexport 42 51m

I think the things being said on this thread basically boils down to two points.

  1. Women have different preferences, and that’s ok.
  2. Men’s egos can be just as fragile as anyone else’s, and unfortunate but natural.

The only thing I can say from an ego standpoint is that I’m 6’4” with well above average size. If I were small or average I’m sure I would feel “unbalanced” and be self conscious about it. Even with a bigger dick I’m self conscious about it because people think it’s ok to just talk about it to anyone.

zzxzz97 32 1h50m

I litteraly know a girl that did not break up with her bf after he beated her. I asked , why ? The answer was that "his dick is really big hehe" ... 🤨

tinyhermione 2 11h52m

That's her fronting. She really has feelings for him, it makes her feel weak. If she pretends it's a sex thing, she feels more confident.

driverman42 32 5h52m

When I was 15, yeah. But now at 73 no. My junk has served me well over all these years (and it continues to do its job, although not quite as often).

CrazyQuickDraw 14 16h50m

Atta boy still gettin’ it at 73, my man!

PhysicalSecurity1 31 7h43m

I have no use for it other than peeing, so no lol

Treuzelaar 3 21h47m

Found the priest

Remarkable_Regret_80 30 1h30m

Even if you arent small the idea that your girlfriend had one "so big it hurts" before you is not exactly a turn on. I feel like its less about worries that you satisfy a women enough and more of an ego thing. Probably hard to imagine for a woman because you are socialized very differently but its similar to how a lot of guys will not be that keen to hear how much physically stronger your ex boyfriend was.. Its just a big part of what we as a culture consider masculine and as long as men and women perpetuate that ideal, (some) men will continue to feel bad about what they were born with.

Arcapella 1 4h58m

Facts. I'm average but my girlfriend has been with a lot bigger dudes (down there). Even though I make her cum a lot I can't help but feel like a pussy for being smaller than her other men. That's life I guess.

_-_Shade_-_ 27 1h53m

I've rang enough bells at this point to not care. it works and it works well so fuck it. You could always have less so be greatful, and practice practice practice.

Forgotten-Irrelevant 25 1m

It is an ego thing honestly.

Aggressive-Order7483 53 23m

It's a form of abuse allowed to be perpetrated against men.

OddCatBehaviour 7 3h2m

The funny thing is, my sneaky snake isn't even the showstopper in our bedroom.

Even if you have a hilariously tiny member in your party, there's so much else you can do that will no only feel beter for her but also takes less effort to preform than the vicious trusting we all know.

So yeah, comparing only hurts us men in the long run

ObstructedPooh 22 3h39m

Where else am I supposed to hang my bath towel?

thehillfigger 21 2h4m

because women actually care. women say they don't care on the internet, but if look at the memes these women post on twitter or the things they say in their tinder bios, or the size of dildos in sex shops, all signs say they care. i've allways felt that i was too small even though I'm 7.5 inches i thought 10 inches was average growing up.

Arcapella 2 4h55m

Damn dude good shit, 7.5in is big. I have a 6in dick and it's always so disheartening when a girl I'm with says she's had bigger. Oh well

lilbugpal 6 7h39m

You have to be a real shitty person to tell a partner "I've had bigger"... like.... what?! Who does that?

Verchi3l 2 8h48m

There are some super shity people out there and they just don't care. She broke my heart but made me quite confident xD

Indiancockburn 20 7h9m

As long as she doesn't call it "cute" you're good.

PAYMAN47 3 17h47m

What about “nice”

SpacedSkaterBoy 18 1h3m

I don't know why I care, but I do. I am gonna sound like a dick (intended) right now, but I am considerably above average and I would be lying if I told you that I don't care about it. It's purely an ego thing, nothing more. It's really not that important, yet somehow we men care about it.

Qwsdxcbjking 7 3h7m

Mine is a size that causes more issues and annoyance than the ego boost is worth imo, so I'm just kinda "meh" about the whole size thing. Now my tongue is a different story, that's the real star in the bedroom lol.

Arcapella 2 4h52m

Is it because it's too big?

Agent-ShortBus 18 4h31m

Used to. At some point I realized it is what it is and it's what I've got to work with. I like to think I'm average sized. 🤷‍♂️

PrimeraStarrk 17 5h40m

I’ve been cheated on twice and I can’t help but wonder if it’s, at least partially, because of that. I know porn plays a lot into that idea but I think it’s at least a little bit of a valid concern. Not to mention that I’m a heavyset fella which makes it look even smaller.

Just wanna be average.

pezzatron84 16 16h29m

No, it's because you were in a relationship with an immature, selfish, piece of human shit.

If you're looking to blame yourself anyway, then do so for making bad decisions about your choice of partner. Not your dick size.

Somebody else's actions are their responsibility - not your dicks.

Firwithinme 17 5h48m

I won’t care about dick size until I lose weight and actually know how it’s supposed to be.

Griffolion 17 16h42m

There's a lot of lizard brain stuff going on. Instinctively men want to be too big for you because it reinforces that they are powerful.

You telling them that his size is perfect and that bigger ones hurt tells his lizard brain that he's not really that powerful and you've had men who are more powerful than he is.

Should guys be able to get past this because we are no longer lizards and have a pre frontal cortex? Yes. But it can be hard to wrestle with all this subconscious bullshit coupled with societal expectations.

kilk10001 6 20h4m

This is a good one man. I am going through a time in my life where I really struggling with my size. Not because it is small but because my wife let on that her ex was bigger than me. She mentioned it was painful and not as good as mine. For some reason my lizard brain just focused on the fact that she told me it was bigger rather than the compliment she gave me. It has really been messing with my confidence.

Fair-Voice-5751 15 1h19m

She should FEEL it.

MCKANNON 15 2h40m

Porn. It gives dudes a false sense of requirement. I'm around 7 and I can't go balls deep in my girl or else it pokes her cervix. So there's some merit to it all.

That being said I wouldn't want to be under 6. The bigger guys just need to learn what their partner likes... and if its as wide as a fucking popcan, get some lube or eat her out first. The hell is wrong with you?

kayzedsixfifty 15 5h11m

Having a big dick is just like being tall. Everyone wants to be taller until they start smacking their head into doorways and light fixtures.

MCKANNON 1 6h35m

But I'd rather smack my head into a doorway over the kitchen table.

kayzedsixfifty 2 6h41m

I'm a little concerned by the fact that you have a doorway above your kitchen table...

Classic_Head3437 14 1h1m

Because women NEVER compare boob size /s

Remarkable_Regret_80 19 1h46m

Boobs are more like a mans body height, bigger is better but its not that much of an issue and you cant really hide it anyway. Besides that women can actually get boobs jobs and make them bigger. Imagine it like there was an extra hidden part of your body that you will be judged for every time you get naked in front of someone. And you also cannot ever change it either.. I dont think women can really relate to this one honestly

Violetspectrumdisrdr 2 4h0m

There’s penis implants for sure. Pneuma comes to mind. Men just don’t care as much to have cosmetic and functional surgeries.

Remarkable_Regret_80 3 11h54m

all that is bs they try to sell. The penis is much more complex than the fatty breats tissue so do not just get some implant put in there! dont fall for that crap men

mikeyman222 2 8h50m

this. penis implants are a thing. But the egos are too big to even consider that.

emperatrizyuiza 1 4h24m

Men judge women with longer labia and compare them to roast beef or say it’s cus they’re promiscuous

Wit-wat-4 15 1h18m

Women can be terrible to each other about their bodies in many ways, but no boob size usually doesn’t come into play even for the nasty talks, unless they’re very big and another woman wants to insinuate that that woman is “slutty” for that reason alone. Even then though, I’d expect hear about people’s “tight clothes” or something way before “those huge knockers”. Also never tie car choice to boob size.

I’m a woman, I can’t know why guys care about it precisely, but I have a feeling it has a lot to do with not being able to change it, vs other things that might be or appear to be changeable. Not everybody can have a CK model 6/8-pack look, but it SEEMS more like an “effort” thing superficially. Whereas penis, like… what could you do? Not much.

Remarkable_Regret_80 8 1h50m

Its one of the top factors in our cultural ideal of masculinity so naturally guys care about it, we are brought up to do so. But you are right, not being able to change it is a big part of it too because no matter how hard you work on yourself if you are unlucky you will never be able to have that perfect body. Especially men with an actual micro penis that must be so horrible

readonly_user 6 7h12m

The other difference is that boobs won't surprise you. You hangout with a girl at a club and you know exactly how big her boobs are.

With men? You don't know what you're gonna find until they're naked. It really is a surprise until the last minute. For people that prefer big/small there can easily be a moment of disappointment!

Era555 3 9h15m

no boob size usually doesn’t come into play

Huh? Boobs are one of the things women are most self conscious about from my experience.

PunkerWannaBe 1 5h53m

You can't compare those, one has a visual/psychological aspect and the other is purely physical. Also, you can get surgery for boob size, not the same for dicks.

lilmanny_lormax 1 6h41m

Actually, I've heard many people make fun of my friends who have smaller boob sizes. It isn't uncommon for them to say things like "well you're built like a little boy with that flat chest of yours" or "you're built like a sad piece of cardboard" or "eww what guy would ever want anyone who still wears trainer bras" things like that to other woman just to hurt their feelings. Granted I'm in college so maybe we're still just young and petty, but those comments definitely hurt girls feelings.

tkiscrazy 3 7h47m

College? Yeah that’s surprising. Girls usually put other girls down because they wanna feel better than themselves, but it’s usually the younger ones petty enough to do something like that. Not tryna be prejudice but I’m assuming most of those girls aren’t even juniors yet… wait till they realize that life really don’t care about ur knockers cause it will always knock u down regardless of ur size

lilmanny_lormax 2 8h10m

Yeah honestly even looking at the younger classes coming in though I feel like they get caught up on dumb stuff even easier than people in my grade. I think it may just be the direction the worlds going. I agree though definitely can’t wait for some people I know to mature a bit more and realize there’s more out there that matters than size.

Grimmanomaly 14 1h6m

Sometimes I wish I had a bit more girth but I don’t think about my penis size much. I have a nice average looking dick. Maybe a little over average but not enough to brag about. It’s been a nice dick and I’m happy with it. I haven’t had any conversations with women about the size of my dick either.

Wtfbyamey 13 8h5m

It isn’t true that women prefer average

Although women do say that

Women have an illusion that average = 7-8 inches, and hence they say they prefer average

But the reality is that average is 5-5.5inches

And 8is in the big territory

Plus some girls can have might have problems with taking 8

Others might take it easily

IMO, 8.5”+ is where the problems start for majority of women

69_Nice_Bot 5 9h56m

Hey Wtfbyamey, I counted 69 words in your comment. Nice.

IAmDefinitelyNotFBI 5 9h58m

Tbf many men probably have this illusion too, as I did. You quite literally never see average sized dicks not just in professional porn, but even on things like amateur NSFW subreddits. Only dudes that will share their penis online are above average/big, so it completely skewed what the average is for me, because it's super rare to see an average dick anywhere.

HbeforeG 2 8h21m

Woman here. Definitely not.

DrSeuss19 2 8h37m

I think he’s referencing a study done on this. The results showed most women actually preferred a larger than average penis. Where he got 8 inches or some shit, I don’t know as there was a minuscule portion of the study that preferred that.

I think the majority liked 6.3 inches or something.

HbeforeG 2 8h42m

That seems more accurate for me!

FemboyHooters- 12 2h4m

I used to think I was small or medium until I started having sex and I realized that I was actually too big and would actually hurt some of my sexual partners, I’m like 6inches, if you feel self conscious about your penis please don’t be, woman probably prefer it when you don’t stab their insides.

Also take in mind that you’re comparing it to your dumb man hands, yeah duh it’s going to look small.

wishihadaps42 7 10h5m

Too big? Women have said that? Man you just gave me a self confidence boost based on the length you mentioned lol. Now I simply need to attract a woman.

FemboyHooters- 3 16h7m

You have nothing to worry about mate, porn really fucks with your head, the angles are deceiving on purpose to make the male performers look bigger on camera, it’s all camera tricks.

elmo298 4 12h49m

you dating dwarves?

birddog172 12 5h2m

No - My little ding dong has given me (and my partner(s))so much pleasure over the years, it quite happily takes beating after beating and never complains, it has delivered the juice to procreate several times, has had the pleasure of being inside some lovely tight spots, why would I care about it’s size when it does everything it’s suppose to? Be kind to your dick! They do great things for you!

unfknblvbe 12 8h28m

yup because it is basically the pinnacle of your value as a man and you will spend your whole life trying to convince yourself otherwise and manage to believe it for a while but will always be reminded usually unintentionally that you are not as big as the ex or someone else and spend the entirety of that time wishing there was something you could do to be good enough

and thus begins the cycle of trying to build yourself back up and convince yourself you are worth something.

UltraPowerfulGuy 11 7h35m

I think everyone’s too afraid of being “too small”, which is kind of a loose term depending on who you are.

Apes_and_dogs 10 44m

Being told by a girl that she felt like she was being fisted was one of the highlights of my 20s lol I don’t really care about all that much right now, but I’m not going to pretend that it wasn’t a big deal when I was younger.

BettyBlueVelvet 3 4h26m

Don't know why they'd downvote, you were answering the question.

Apes_and_dogs 3 4h27m

I was lmao. Reddit doesn’t always make sense. They see someone downvote you and the rest follow like brainless zombies.

Gilgamesh107 6 5h49m

they downvoted cause they cant relate and you made them feel bad

Apes_and_dogs 2 5h57m

That makes sense. I was only trying to answer the question, and it’s a gift and a curse if you ask me

IdesOfCaesar7 10 2h4m

Bless you for trying to make us feel better.

Flanelman 10 3h51m

Yes its an ego thing. It's essentially a sociatally planted insecurity, in a general sense.

bkbales 10 4h2m

I’m average (5) and I care but not too much. This past year I’ve thought a lot about it - I’ve taken the perspective that successful sex will be about two people fitting together well, not just the man having a big enough dick. Woman’s vagina sizes vary a bunch and it’s ok for them to prefer a large dick. So be it if we don’t match up, it’s on to find the next match. Don’t say a woman is shallow just because she has preferences, we all do. I think most people fear rejection but if you can embrace it as a process that leads you closer to finding your match you can achieve a different perspective. Also oral is king for the most part.

Veleda390 3 5h53m

You're right about compatibility, and I would add, the ability to make your partner feel sexy. The fact that my man tells me I'm beautiful and gets very turned on by me is the best aphrodisiac. The mechanics, to me, is something you can make work, but that foundation of passion is everything.

bkbales 2 6h31m

True, I’d argue that a lot of sex is just mental arousal which can be achieved in more ways than having a big dick

Far-Resource-819 10 6h28m

It'd be nice to be another quarter to half inchin length and girth. It'd be nicer to be in my thirties again

CosmicCyanide 9 3h38m

Nope. What good's the size of a tool if it ain't getting used? H-haha...

Realistic-Bridge-481 9 5h25m

Because women say average is good but by definition half of the population are less than average

RareHotdogEnthusiast 3 17h21m

Half of the population is under the median, not the average

lilbugpal 9 7h38m


This simply isn't true.

The average is about 5 inches.

Most women prefer about 6.5-7 inches (shown by research).

Anecdotally, I'm just under 7, and every single one of the 30+ women I've been with have been very vocal about how much they loved it. For some women, we have to avoid certain positions, as it can be a little painful for them, but they still like it and do not wish it was smaller.

jhschlebus 8 53m

Nope, nothing I can do about it.

Own-Illustrator-268 8 3h34m

Same with breasts and women. I know VERY few men that care about what size a woman's tits are, maybe a little about shape, but generally most men are happy with you just having nipples. Yet so many women care about the size of their breasts as indicated by the number of implant surgeries. Men care about dick size because the general feedback we get or at least perceive societally is that size matters and that bigger is better, girth over length but both is preferable, up to a point, a point though that is significantly above average apparently.

Manbearjizz 5 11h9m

but penis size is different in that it actually serves a function other than visual stimuli like breast size or big butt

rovingburrito 8 6h16m

Men really only care about size because women care about size.

And women do prefer larger penises, contrary to your claim. A study found that the average woman from a sample of N=75 prefers a penis length that is approximately 1 inch longer than the average dick.


Average dick length is between 5.1 and 5.5 inches.


WakeoftheStorm 8 19h56m

This will probably get buried since I'm late to the question, but I believe it's a number of things:

  1. Almost everyone feels self conscious at times, especially about the things we can't change.

  2. Dick size is one of the few types of body shaming that's still widely socially acceptable. (Big truck? Must have a little dick. Nice, confident guy? "Big dick energy")

  3. In cis-hetero relationships there is a big imbalance sexually. It's much easier, in general, for men to achieve orgasm. While this is much more about skill, communication, foreplay, and psychology than dick size, it is a much easier thing to get hung up on.

  4. There are legit "size queens" out there, and while it may be a minority of women, it's a vocal one, especially when combined with 1 and 2.

  5. Porn.

Grumpy_Yuppie 7 1m

Not at all. I care about the size of my partner's.

Crowblue 7 1h58m

I'm closer to 8 and really it kind of sucks because we have to be careful and avoid certain positions.

B-L-E-A-C-H-E-D 7 3h45m

Because guys want to feel special, they want to be attractive they want to be wanted. A big Dick is like height you’ll see the same with 6ft.

Hey_jason19 7 3h53m

I have a less than average. Most times I'm not concerned with my size, but when my hormones are up high I would wish it was bigger

Dogamai 7 7h7m

because women care.

they like to ACT like they dont.

but they do. its a simple matter of physics. they have a certain sized space that needs to be filled. if its not filled, its not as enjoyable.

is there a social aspect that causes an increase in that desire unnecessarily? yes. and most women still fall into that as well. a man with a big dick is a social status symbol for the women who have them, and beyond that, a raw desire for what other people wish for.

In otherwords there are MULTIPLE strong reasons why women like a big shaft, and therefore men want one as well.

that being said, if you are a man and you want to be sane, you have to give up on the idea of changing shit you cant change, and learn to accept what you have. You make do with what youve got. and you try your hardest not to be jealous of those who have what you dont.

Women struggle with this issue all the time, thats why so many women have boob jobs.

how much longer do men have to wait till there is a common girth growing procedure for them too? who knows. maybe never. the sausage is a lot more complex than a boob job or a butt job. and it may never be possible.

BPM1981 7 12h44m

I came across my girlfriend’s Reddit account and viewed some of her comments. One was an AskReddit or a sub similar with a similar question or context to this one. Her comment was something along the lines of “I usually need a big dick to get off. If that’s not the case, then subsidize your orgasms with toys in the bedroom with your partner.” That’s not verbatim but you get it. The comment was dated during our relationship so it wasn’t old. And we often use toys in the bedroom. I ultimately told her I discovered it. She is very reassuring that I am enough and she loves my penis. But I just can’t help but think about how the comment was written with no intention of me ever seeing it. That no matter how much she says I’m enough, it is how she really feels about the size of my average penis. That I was who was in mind when the comment was written and that I will never be that big penis that satisfies her. Ever. That comment haunts me to this day.

sdwdqw65 4 19h33m

I’d break up.

That’s just me.

This is also a reason (among others) why I avoid women with large body counts.

MajinJude 6 1h51m

'The big ones hurt' is offensive because we are as big as we can be individually. A way to say this with masculinity intact could be, "penis's can be to big for me XXX is what i like" or "extra sized is too much for me" or even "i love yours so much it fits perfectly". You get the gist. When you say the big ones hurt you are implying that small penis's are better and when you say average men hear small.

Rasputin0P 6 2h1m

Im average which is good enough for me. Not gonna complain that I didnt draw the long stick (pun intended) when I didnt draw the short one either.

moshercycle 6 3h25m

Nope. I use to, but I never had any negative comments once I became sexually active so I figured I'm either using it right or it's not so bad after all.

Dynasuarez-Wrecks 6 4h5m

Yes. Once the junk drawer gets full and I realize that I haven't actually looked for anything in it, it all needs to go into the trash before it starts spilling onto the countertop.

RalphSaintLaurent 6 6h23m

im below average, im afraid one day i cant satisfy my partner

Miss-Indie-Cisive 4 16h20m

See my comment below: best guy I ever had, by miles and miles ahead of the competition, not even close, was the smallest out of everyone. He’s the only one in my life to ever bring me to an internal vaginal orgasm. (Vs w outside stimulation like a vibrator). He was a fucking god. Just tune into your partner and pleasing her, have confidence, and don’t worry about the rest. I had an actual trophy made for him when he made me cum. World record.

but_a_simple_petunia 6 7h5m

growing up in early 00s where casual racism against Asian (men) were brushed off as jokes and among them being "small dick lolz," I got curious if all billions of asian men were cursed with tiny peckers.

So I got my ruler out, measured my family treasure, compared my result with google result of "average penis size in the US" and came to realize my meat scepter is slightly above average.

In short, yes I guess I did care enough to size up my own stick.

ImmanuelImp 5 35m

It’s something every guy will question in their life. It’s mostly ego, but more importantly the implementation porn has on pre-teens and teenagers growing up has given males a level of self conscious feelings regarding something that is strictly genetics and cannot be changed by any other means.

Ioannis113 5 2h38m

I am above average and pretty happy with it so no, can't say I care too much about it😂

possester 5 2h46m


i dont care.

Flaky_Watch 5 3h40m

I'm 5'1" with 8". It does help my ego, and my wife likes it. It helps offset a lifetime of short jokes.

lane_gug 2 8h36m

your height went went to your dick while my dick went to my height

ICastPunch 5 3h48m

Do you care about how you look? If you are good looking or not? Have you ever felt like nobody could be attracted to you because you don't have x quality? Body insecurities my ¿girl?

And fuck yeah I do care I know I am above average, but I am a grower so it really is an insecurity if someone saw it when it's still small. This is especially accentuated because porn and just culture pretty much. So much so I wanna have a bigger one, for looks only... because fuck it why not? It would certainly be cool lmao. It would be for real just for me. To be like... look at my magnificent giant schlong!!! you puny mortals...

ThinkOpenTry 5 3h52m

War and penises from George Carlin. Take a listen.

-Kurogita- 5 4h53m

Yeah, i feel like i have a below average one and im kinda scared to engage in sexual intercourse because of fears of not satisfying my partner.

SuccessfulAside5282 5 8h28m

I care because my dick is tiny! Fuuuuuck

Gandalf_thee_Gay 5 16h20m

TL;DR: Way too many words to say that society teaches men their sexual prowess is equal to their self-worth and it can hurt to be told “I like small dicks too”

So I’m going to answer this as both a mental health professional trying to be objective, but also as a man who has dealt with cheating and inadequacies from romantic partners.

To try and explain it objectively, it isn’t as much about Todd having a 10” penis and my self-worth evaporating with that knowledge. The issue that I see (personally and with my patients) is that a man’s value in western society is HIGHLY stratified to rely on the equity and value you can provide to a woman to justify your relationship. Conversely, very often in western society a woman has to merely be desirable whereas a man has to be productive. (Quick disclaimer before the wrong side of Reddit tries to claim this, I am a feminist and women’s rights are being assaulted everyday; I’m a bisexual cis male who regularly attends BLM and BIPOC events.)

That being said, as a man in western society I was taught that I must have a good job/high-paying salary (ability to provide economically), must be physically fit and well groomed (ability to provide socially) and must be an absolute animal in bed, sacrificing any and all of my own needs and intimate communication in lieu of a woman’s needs (ability to provide sexually.) I can change my career, my hair, my outfit, but I can’t do a damn thing about the size of penis (outside expensive surgery that doesn’t do a lot) so that falls into the category of, “Don’t remark about something a person can’t change in 30 seconds or less.” Most feminine partners I’ve been intimate with have had a very different narrative, although I concede it is also harmful (if you’re not a size 0 you’re a cow, all that nasty shit women hear.)

Now that all the objective shit is out of the way, I’ll try and give a few thoughts as just a dude. I’m above average, and as an older man I’m fine with my lot in life, but fuck ME does it hit me in the soul when a girl says size doesn’t matter. Of COURSE it does. Now, I’m aware it isn’t the exclusive criteria for choosing a partner or evaluating the happiness of that relationship but as a bi man, yeah, it does. There are a lot of things I’ve been told by people who take penis that I can remember verbatim 15 years later. “Oh don’t worry, I’m sort of done fucking guys with big dicks, you’re fine!” (Literally put my clothes back on and left). Most communication is contextual and nonverbal, and when your words say, “I will likely enjoy your penis” but your context and tone says, “Fuck, I mean I guess I can enjoy a small dick once” it doesn’t jive.

All in all, to my penis-havers out there I’d say if this issue still bothers you, counseling can really help you appreciate and shape your self-worth; it helped me tremendously and providing counseling for other people helps me everyday. To my penis-takers out there I’d just ask you to be very intentional when you speak about somebodies genitalia (no matter what those genitalia may be) because it is a very intimate part of a young persons identity and everybody lies about their experience level. You may be the first person to ever see that person naked. VULNERABLE and if your off-the-cuff response is harmful or patronizing that will hurt for a long time.

mackfeesh 5 16h50m

I don't think there's proper, literal, equivalent for you to understand why it's something men care about since you don't have one, just like we can't understand what periods, or birth are like. but if I had to try. I guess it's like modern society blatantly / subtly leading women to think about body image, except with men it's just our penis - something that nobody has any control over.

It's because size is sold to be important to others that it matters to men. It's one of the first things you learn to be shamed for as a developing adult when you're a teen. It's one of the easiest and most immediately relatable insecurities. When you're building your self identity, you can find something that "isn't right." and it's something you'll never have any control over.

And, lastly, I guess, I think the internet & porn probably have impacted it for people now. Since porn is so much more widely acceptable, & easy to access, coupled with in porn you'll more or less always see massive members. This makes it easy to compare and come to the conclusion that you're smaller than the average. Or that the large is the standard and which means you're insufficient. It's very mental.

That being said, I'm pretty sure some of the ancient roman graffiti is shit like "Tiberius has a small cock." so it's not like it's a new thing. Just people flexing on others. Bigger = Better. Bigger = More masculine.

And, lastly, I guess, I think the internet & porn probably have impacted it for people now. Since porn is so much more widely acceptable, and you'll more or less always see massive members. Easy to compare / imagine that you're smaller than average. Or that the large is the standard and which means you're insufficient. It's very mental.

SammyTheOtter 5 16h52m

Because we ape. Big peen mean better ape. Beats chest and beats off

Futuresex7 4 5m

I'm really happy that I'm a little guy, but able to "show off" when I finally am with someone. The surprise response is fantastic!

evilavatar1234 4 17m

Never cared, not about me when it comes to I intimate relations, it’s about the partners enjoyment and long as I’ve been alive I’ve had no complaints.

NuclearEyedSquirrel 4 1h8m


5thmember 4 3h20m

I just counter that by assuming I am never gonna have sex.

And then I derive confidence in my worth as a human being by what I can do. I have a 4 incher but the fact that I can save someone gives me a metaphysical 9incher.

LimitGroundbreaking2 4 3h37m

I'm above average that being said I think in general the toxic culture surrounding small penises is awful that makes many men insecure. I didn't think my size was even large for many years because of how people talk as if everyone has a dragon. I'd prefer to be average because I sometimes can hurt my partners and I just want to live a good life with a good sex life and my partner enjoys my body.

wiseknob 4 3h38m

I’m getting snipped, I couldn’t care less about my size, I just want to take a nap on a Sunday afternoon without kids jumping all over me.

NiSayingKnight13 4 3h41m

I have to say that when they took my left testicle last year things like riding a bike, wearing a groin protector, sitting down in general, etc... are much more comfortable.

LostInRedditsCheeks 4 3h43m

I the woman I been with have been satisfy and always compliment me. Even then idk why I sometimes wish I had it a little bigger.

Valzar1954 4 3h44m

There’s a lot of noise going on in this area due to what is seen in porn.

There may be some issues with a small percentage of men who have a micro penis just as there are with women who have cavernous vaginas. We don’t discuss the latter very often but they are out there.

Both sexes come in a range of sizes and we should not be dwelling on expectations set in porn just as women should not expect men to behave like those in erotica.

SteaksAndSquats 4 4h35m

I used to but I've grown to accept being average size. Chicks don't complain about it and I've been told that it's preferred since we can get a little rougher than with a bigger one. To each their own though

SmithRune735 4 4h35m

Im ok with my size when it's fully erect, it's average. However, I wish it was a couple inches bigger flaccid.

zanderman27 4 5h6m

Bcz we see all these girls on social media praising big dicks so every guy wants one

BearJewTalian69 4 5h17m

Honestly being a grower is awkward with new encounters. First off, she might not believe you. Second, if for whatever reason in the moment if you can’t get it up, she’s gonna think you have a tiny dick AND boner issues. And honestly, no fun. Especially if it’s not just casual sex.

foot-trail 4 5h57m

Alright so, I'll just put my 2 cents in here and not trying to brag. I am on the larger size, and I don't want to go smaller, but it has kept me from certain positions with certain partners. Also, lube and helping her "warm up" become bigger priorities, although thats not a negative, its just something to keep in mind. Think of your absolute favorite position: now imagine you can't do that with your partner ever because it is really uncomfortable for them - now tell me you'd still want a bigger piece.

redditcrazy123 3 8h54m

id still want a bigger piece

Flamingo_giraffe 4 6h9m

I'm big enough that it's a pleasant surprise to all the gals I've been with and small enough that I stay hard for long enough to please repeatedly. I get no complaints.

I don't care what guys think. They never see my dick hard.

PasanM97 4 7h20m

I'm 7" but still virgin at 24 years. Is 7" considered big?

avocadosoneverything 4 8h50m

I wasn't self conscious about it until I saw a look of disappointment on someones face

decs00046 4 13h19m

I've had women tell me this before. It hurts, even if it's not meant to. "The perfect size for me" isn't a compliment. We don't want to know if your ex had a bigger dick than us. Not an image we want to think about. Best thing to do is not talk about it at all. Second best thing to do is lie and tell us we've got the biggest dick you've ever seen.

For better or worse, dick size is tied to a man's masculinity, and for many may be even more important than sexual competence. Men are insecure about parts of their body, the same way lots of women are. However, for some reason it's acceptable to make jokes about someone's dick size. For example can you imagine the reaction on social media to a body positivity movement about dick size?

I'm comfortable with my dick now but for a long time wasn't. Which wasn't helped by comments some girls would make about how their exes were 'too big'. You can only piss with the cock god gave you. And as one friend of mine said 'by the point that she's disappointed by your dick, you're already having sex, so don't worry about it"

krathulu 4 15h48m

According to my studies, mine is average. The standard deviation is zero, though, and the sample size is one…

tenphes31 4 16h51m

My penis is average sized when erect, but a bit small when flacid. I remember lying in bed with and ex and commenting to her that I was a bit concerned I was not an adequete size. She looked at me (while topless) and asked if I thought one of her boobs was bigger than the other. I said no, they looked fine to me (they did). She remarked that thats the kind of stuff that went through her head, and that she was more worried about her own body than mine, and that I needed to chill out. We didnt end up sleeping together because I am an idiot, but that comment has stuck with me.

TopGun1617554 3 3m

I do but, once I decide to avoid women, in a romantic and sexual sense, It only bothers me a little.

jhschlebus 3 53m

Nope, nothing I can do about it.

m1cknobody 3 1h15m

I think it has something to do with the individual and their feelings about it. I’ve never had any complaints either way. I know there’s larger and I’m certain there is smaller. I just don’t care though.

General-Gump 3 1h24m

It’s only an issue for self conscious men.

It’s all about how you use it brother. I used to be self conscience about my average size, but then I realized that women have a grand old time as long as you know how to use your body and are attentive to their responses lol it’s a stupid concern to have imo.

Seriously men you can make any woman scream your name it’s silly just learn your body and then wield it with the undeniable strength / control of a virile ox or horse.

Women are small creatures anyway and they don’t know what they want 90% of the time. The instincts take over 100% of the time just remember we were made for each other... but if you have a micro then idk enlighten us.

Noob_DM 9 2h44m

It’s only an issue for self conscious men. It’s all about how you use it brother. I used to be self conscience about my average size

hawtfabio 2 8h42m

I use to be self conscious about my 20 inches but then one of my girlfriends told me I was actually a little above average, which made me feel better.

General-Gump 0 2h56m

Yeah! I used to think I needed a donkey dick until I started having relationships / flings

Then I realized it’s not the case heh heh

THExBEARxJEW 3 1h35m

Yes. Because a mans masculinity seems to correlate to penis size for some reason.

midnight_reborn 3 1h50m

Nah, I think it's a good size. I have yet to have any women tell me they're upset with it.

answeredbymybf 3 2h7m

Yes. Very sensitive topic: societal but also good for your partner.

Dickens_Sider 3 2h56m

It’s only an issue for me if my partner and I are poorly or not compatible (goodness of fit betwixt penis and vagina- in my case).

It’s only an issue for me of my partner and I are poorly or not compatible (goodness of fit betwixt penis and vagina- in my is case).

dead__racoon 3 3h3m

I am actually happy with my size, so happy with my size.

theuntouchable2725 3 3h14m

So people are leaving Instagram (my workspace) to TikTok for things like that? I see.

Anyway, yes I do care. Because I think it'd affect the quality of sex with the partner.

thebutler97 3 3h20m

Not something I put much thought into tbh. I've always heard I'm at least average, so I've never really worried about it past that.

TzarGinger 3 3h33m

I'm glad I have the amount I have, though it did keep my first girlfriend from having sex with me; she was a virgin and nervous about the prospect.

Jambokak 3 3h35m

Only in so much as it makes it hard to do certain positions.

HippieBathday 3 3h36m

If my junk pile gets too big my wife tells me I need to get rid of it. So I try to keep it at a manageable level that she doesn’t complain about.

420DepravedDude 3 3h48m

The grower vs shower concern

Can look tiny but grow massive; can look big but not grow at all just harden up

Constant_Hotel_579 3 3h49m

Not really. Full disclosure I’m 7.5, measured back when I used to care. I don’t really know how that stacks up, but I know it’s certainly smaller than virtually all pornos I’ve ever seen. What I can say is on a couple occasions I’ve almost completely lost the mood struggling to get it in to a tight entrance. It’s not so much the length as the girth that was the problem there, but either way it made me roll over and give up once.

I don’t much think about it because when not aroused it’s pretty small I suppose. Maybe 4 inches? Haven’t measured it soft before. Women do get pretty excited when we exchange nudes. They always wonder if the whole black thing is true. I don’t honestly think it is. Some people have whoppers and some don’t.

Some women can handle the bigger ones and some can’t. Some love taking a big dong and others prefer little ones. Either way there’s nothing we can do about what we’ve got in our pants, so there’s really no need to care about it haha

Dixie_normis88 3 3h56m

I don’t want a dick so small I piss on my balls

lucimon97 3 4h4m

Well I just have the one and I wanna see something for my money.

Worth-Implement7277 3 4h8m

Yes because if a woman can be proud of and confident about her goods then so can I

TheManIsOppressingMe 3 4h20m

To be completely honest, if I were single, I would definitely use my size as a kind of novelty. I didn't know my girth was at the extreme size (6.5" around) until after I settled down, but it explains so much about the past women I have been with. I would flaunt the shit out of it to get with those size queens that think they can handle a baseball bat of a dick.

Since I seem to fit pretty well in my wife without much fuss, I am pretty happy with it, and feel like I lucked out. I hear of people with my girth that have to constantly use shitloads of lube and go slow as hell, not for me. That said, without my size, I wonder if I would be able to please my wife with size alone.

xenozeph 3 4h21m

I mean not really. I wouldn’t say mines big but it ain’t small. Usually I don’t get any complaints, never “it hurts” or “I didn’t feel it” usually just a “yeah that was pretty good”

LastStarr 3 4h33m

nah. it is what it is.

DHener84 3 4h40m

I am a bit below average on size, and very above average on weight. And have a bit of a hyperactive sex drive so I like to use toys, but toys tend to not quite fit/work right for me which makes me feel very inadequate and fuels my wish to have a larger one.

Unusual_North 3 5h0m

Having a good personality and being willing to satisfy your partner is far more important than size.

Rushdream 3 5h29m

I’m no monster dick and I think I have been very successful with sex! Most women don’t want a huge penis trying to split them in half! On the other hand, most dont go for babydicks either. But I really think that is rare. Most women want someone with something around average that gets hard and stays hard. That and decent foreplay. Just my opinion.

kevinnetter 3 5h57m

Nobody cares until it is either way too big or way too small.

tyranthraxxus 3 7h3m

Having slept with a lot of women, and being on the larger size, especially girth, I can tell you that "we enjoy average is not the majority". So many women have confided in me that they are glad I'm big and they feel a little bad, but are a bit of a size queen that it is not a trope or cliche. In defense of the average, most of them have told me that they have been with plenty of guys who have rocked their world with an average sized penis, because they really knew how to use it. However, they said, the majority of average sized penis owners do not possess this knowledge.

On the flip side, I've been with 5 partners that I could not have penetrative sex with, because I couldn't get it in without tearing them apart. I've also have several partners who were sore the first few times, but they grow accustomed to it and later like it.

Frankly, I'd prefer that I was a little less girthy because I don't want to meet anymore women that I'm attracted to that I can't have sex with because I'm too big.

smilesnd 3 7h5m

Growing up girls easiest insult to a boy was just to tell them they had a small penis. In 7th grade two girls I didn't even know while passing in the hall just out of the blue told me I had a small dick. Being clever I told them I would show it to them to prove them wrong. Next day I was pulled into guidance office where the two girls told the guidance officer I threaten to show them my penis. It strangely fucked with me in a way I never wanted people to see my penis because I thought I was small. Even now when I know I am above average I get nervous having someone see my dick just because of that. No idea how to fix it.

Giant_Devil 3 7h6m

Don't care. It is what it is. Can't change it anyway. The size is decidedly average.

It functions properly, it gets the job done and in over 25 years of use with women, there have been no complaints. Won't lie, some seemed to enjoy it more than others. Can't please everyone, though one does try.

Limping_Stud 3 7h14m

I have a lot of insecurities about my body, but fortunately this particular area isn't one of them.

Grey_26 3 7h47m

Yeah when I got too much Junk I usually put in the bin

Quinlov 3 8h5m

Because as a gay dude I know that bigger feels better :/

onedanoneband 3 8h21m

Just eat the pussy and rub her all over and kiss her and say stuff like “damn baby you’re so sexy” for about 27mins and that dick will feel a million miles long once you eventually slide-in.

FabulousVile 3 8h22m

It doesn't matter to me... I will die as a virgin anyway, so what is the point of measuring the tool I will probably never use?

DrSeuss19 3 8h33m

I’ve always found this interesting because there are scientific studies on the topic and those factual data driven studies do not fall in line with what social media seems to want to believe.

In short, women on average like a size that is actually larger than average, thus bigger. A large portion like a size significantly above average most. On Reddit I always see people say women don’t care and even women on Reddit saying they don’t care. However that’s not my experience nor my friends or the studies experience.

It’s more accurate that while they care, it isn’t the top of the list of shits given. However, it’s definitely something more than most statistically do care about.

To more specifically answer your question, I never really gave a shit. I played sports all my life as time get older and take showers you see a ton of dicks and I was pretty aware mine was bigger than most, but I didn’t feel somehow more confident with girls because of it. It wasn’t until I was dating and fucking around that girls commenting on it made me more aware of it. Women definitely judge dicks; size, girth, general appeal and if you’ve got a good one they’ll let you know. If you don’t, they probably won’t bring it up or at least I’d hope most have the tact not to. Doesn’t mean they are running away hiding from you, just means they’ve probably seen better dicks. Nothing anyone can do about that.

So essentially, I didn’t until they did and I was lucky enough to be on the right side of genetics in that category. I would hope if it was small and ugly that no one would have pointed it out as I can see how that would absolutely devastate a dude.

Daktyl198 3 8h35m

I'm average on the best day, and fairly thin to boot. The few women I've been with have all clearly been disappointed and one has discussed with me that I am small compared to past lovers. She called me "cute". I make up for my lacking size with other (non-penis) means as I don't like leaving my partner unsatisfied, but watching porn or seeing dildos/vibrators after my personal experiences just hurts.

It sucks majorly knowing that you'll never be able to satisfy the majority of women you come to love without having to use other means of pleasuring them. It reduces self confidence and sex drive to almost zero.

MassiveClock 3 8h57m

Because I have really low self esteem but knowing I have a big dick is an easy source of validation.

metsakutsa 3 12h51m

Because it is a common slander for men. It is hard to say if women or men use this attack more often, I have heard both genders belittle men for their junk.

Personally, I have a normal length but I wish I had more girth. Having been with different girls, I sometimes feel little or no stimulation during vaginal intercourse, which might be due to all sorts of things, a low libido due to antidepressants just one part of it. But a part of me is thinking that my junk is just too thin.

magabrexitpaedorape 3 13h22m

By the time someone sees my dick it'd be too impolite for them to back out.

Idgaf about my tiny dick getting slagged off after the fact in a group chat I'm not even a part of - I still got to have sex and I was the only one who reached orgasm, so who is the real winner here?

Miss-Indie-Cisive 3 16h16m

FYI best guy I ever had (like miles ahead of any and everyone else, not even a close competition) was also the smallest. Only man to ever make me cum internally. I had an actual trophy made for him.

rojigi2657 3 17h46m

Let me tell you a secret... 90% of the women out there who claims they want a big cock, can't deepthroat worth shit so they give knob jobs or hand jobs. They also physically aren't deep enough so you can't pound their pussy so you end up having to be half out of them. Last thing is, forget fucking them in their ass cause they can't take the pain.

In other words, most women are all talk. They say they want a 12" cock cause it's the "acceptable" thing to say when in reality a 6" cock is perfect for them.

Get off TikTok, stop putting yourself down and be happy with what you have. I'm not big at all and my girl can't stop having sex with me and believe me I'm by far not the biggest guy she had been with.

alabamamammalian 3 17h51m

Don't care, truly average, have had no complaints of breaking women's downstairs and no complaints of not being satisfying, so why stress?

_EmotionalMelon_ 3 17h54m

I feel like I lean one of two ways. Either, A; Size queens and sex toys create unrealistic expectations for men and what we're 'supposed' to consider 'big'. Or B; People like what they like and I should be content with what I have because it satisfies my partner. I don't embellish anything, I'm average. My wife says I'm above average but I sometimes I think she's just being kind and I'm her first and only sexual partner so I struggle to take her word on that. We could probably argue, on this sub, for hours about the societal pressures men face and who's "Fault" it is for that or who perpetuated it in the first place but I don't think that'd be helpful. I think that most men have wondered/wished they had a bigger one and may have had a negative experience with someone else in their life which may make them feel inadequate. I know, personally, I've experienced both so maybe I care just a bit about my junk size. I mean, before presenting myself to my wife I try to get the little man at half staff to make it look better lol

sensema88 3 19h17m

In posing the question, instead of saying you're perfect for me, just the right size, adding the 'bigger hurts' implies that they've gotten dicked down by some other dude who was bigger and that just doesn't feel good because no man wants to think of their partner fucking someone else, especially someone who is more well endowed. Also no man wants a small dick, we all want to be big enough if not impressively big.

JackPhantomOfficial 3 19h19m

> Because truly, most of us prefer the average size!

You say otherwise when you want to be hurtful on the way out of a relationship

Also any ads where a woman is looking for SEX (not a relationship, but SEX) is like, must be at least 7" or go away.

Also, men see the size of dildos for sale in the stores, they tend to be larger, longer and girthier than the average male.

Given how many times women lie in relationships, or even to themselves... men have a hard time taking that seriously at first.

allboolshite 3 20h4m

I care about the size of my junk because when it gets too big I have to load it up in my pickup and take it to the dump which costs $40! It was only $15 last year!!!

alexolive 3 20h8m

Personally as a woman interested in men, I’ve been with 4 guys, and the bigger one hurt me so bad i went home and cried. Let’s face it, the majority of men don’t know how to use their package to please a woman, so I’d rather someone with a smaller package do it so it doesn’t hurt. And when the person with a small one DOES know how to use it, it’s the best feeling in the world. 4.5 inches feels like heaven when used right because anything bigger than 5.5 is actually the most painful experience ever. The age old saying is 100% true. It’s not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean.

Exciting-Answer-4559 3 20h32m

As a black man.....It's insane. I'm 8 inches and have constantly been both too small for the 9 inches and up only club and too big for alot of women who've only had average or small penises. My solution ironically was to actually get good at sex. As many women have stated dudes who are huge don't often learn proper stroking technique, foreplay , the woman they're currently with (her personal taste) or aim to truly please. It's just here's my big dick and it works but not for LTR. I think men need to learn to handle the reality woman have faced for years. Competition drives the market. Men need to know if they are LTR or ons material and play to your strengths IMO. Get an extender or girth add-on toy , use toys, aim to give your girl no less than 2-4 orgasms a session. Get good at sex and accept you're not the biggest of her life and try to be the best of her life. Be careful though definitely wouldn't agree with women who say it doesn't matter ...but there's way more to sex than penetration sex. Watch lesbian porn. I don't mean it in theory. Literally lean into her fetishes/ explore some , create a deep connection to intensify sex , master foreplay "foreplay" etc

aDirtyMartini 3 20h35m

To quote Prince:

I told the joke about the woman
Who asked her lover "Why is your organ so small?"
He replied, "I didn't know I was playin' in a cathedral"

Size works both ways here and compatibility goes beyond that.

X4dow 3 21h24m

thing is. if a partner calls your junk "average", its either small, or smaller than what she's used to. Although got to agree, there are more things blokes should worry about in a relationship. like being attentive and comforting their partners, not how hard they can ram their cervix or force their girls into sq... ermm... pissing, themselves.

rhymasta 3 22h55m

Wow lots of dick conversation. Gentleman, look at your dick and thank him. Every morning say good morning, and every night say good night to him. Our penises deserve love and respect.

3ababa 3 1d1h39m

Well... when I started dating my now wife, at some point after sex we were discussing sizes, and she mentioned that there had been a guy before me that was the biggest she had ever had. That one stung, I have to be honest. I can't pinpoint why, but it did sting. I guess it was a pride thing, as you say. Then I couldn't get it out of my mind, it was stupid and persistent.

So we discussed it and I rember what she told me. "It looks to me that he is more important to you than he is to me". This phrase stuck with me. I was the one who was fixated on this, not her. It took a little bit of time after that, but that shadow has now long gone. It is what it is, she is happy with me, I am happy with her, that's all that counts.

Commission-Practical 2 1h26m

Like most things in life, if you are within the average or norm, who cares, outliers stand out positively and/or negatively.

Funny enough, I’ve read tons of stories on men being too big and the drawbacks that come with that. So for once, to be average is great.

Something for giggles: https://youtu.be/g15EAjmd_DA

Forsaken-Thought 2 3h2m

Size is definitely something that was always a concern, but after being called horse dick a few times and having women go "OMG that's long" I now feel pretty damn good about it. I've been told a couple times to not go all the way in as well. Still think I would like a little more thickness added as I do feel it's a little on the slender side.

Altruistic_Ad676 2 3h3m

Naw, gets me by


Why would you care about the size of your junk? You care about the size of things that matter to you. Not junk.

SirDildude 2 3h18m

All I gotta say is

If you can’t bring it between the hips, you better bring it between the lips.

richscott440 2 3h32m

I don't. But only because I've been told it's pretty big. I'm satisfied

IanJRohena 2 3h45m

No not really

ashimkus22 2 3h47m


Daytonaman675 2 3h54m

Can’t change it either way.

But I’ve bruised my wife’s cervix on accident so I think I’m ok.

AeratedFeces 2 4h2m

I used to. Having unrestricted internet access at age 11 or 12 definitely gives you a pretty poor idea of what most dicks actually look like. But as I've gotten older I'm way less self conscious. If someone likes me enough to want to see my pp we'll probably have a good time either way.

advicethrowaway1986 2 4h16m

I did as a child & teen, but that was due to school & peer pressure. Once I left, I realised that it was actually perfectly normal and I don’t give it much thought anymore. Happy with what I got

GhettoCowboyNumba1 2 4h17m

The older I get the less I care. I just use it to piss and Jack off sometimes.

NosoyPuli 2 4h21m

Eh I mean, I like it how it is, not too long, maybe a little too thick, most of the time I just rely on my skills rather than size, I like using my mouth and hands.

And teeth.

Shadrixian 2 4h34m

A lot of it probably stems from objectification or self-value.

I personally dont give a fuck one way or the other, but I understand why some men are self-conscious.

Low2High92 2 4h36m


I-Brake-4-Squirrels 2 4h45m

Nah, I don't really care, but it helps that the girl I've been seeing recently seems to legitimately enjoy it.

CigarFrog 2 4h46m

For the most part no. And what I mean is I'm slightly curious what's it like to do some of those circus positions in the porn movies! I mean how cool would it be to fuck a woman from the other side of the room. I'm below average around 4"-4-1/2" depending on my Gunt! I've never had a woman complain and I've had GFs who were dancers and at least one who was an adult actress. Bottom line: If you think it's all about the D, then you don't get it!I just my 2 cents

  • ZenMachine
VicktorVector 2 4h51m

Do you care about the size of your tits?

stk2urgns 2 8h55m

For me, I care big time. I wish so much that they were bigger.

djscott95 2 4h55m

Porn has caused us men to think anything under 7 inches is “small”

tetendi96 2 4h59m

I mean yea size is more important to men than women because men will be shamed for it..... Having no breasts is more important to women than it is to men because women will be shamed for it.

Penguator432 2 5h1m

I do, but that’s because I’m so small down there sometimes I’m so focused on what I’m actually doing to let myself really enjoy the ride.

gonesnake 2 5h2m

I don't give it a second thought. It's never about size, it's about function.

enterthematrix23 2 5h4m

Not at all, I'm mediocre average in size but I know how to use my fingers tongue and cock in a way that pleases my wife and other partners. Man can have all the size in the world but if you ain't got skill he ain't got s***

Luka_Dunks_on_Bums 2 5h6m

No, because she really doesn’t care

ImTheOnlyDuck 2 5h7m

Depends, I think mines not big but I've never heard complaints just compliments

Nervous-Life-715 2 5h10m

I dont know some days I feel above average and I have a short ego boost and others I feel a bit small and I dont really care.

Naxela 2 5h11m

No, I don't.

Sumpm 2 5h13m

Nope, don't care. The women I've been with have always said that it was the perfect size. So, since I'm not trying to impress dumb dudes, but instead make the ladies happy, I'm satisfied with what I have.

aloofman75 2 5h14m

Yes, but I’m happy with my size and not at all concerned about it.

I think that men are socialized to think they should worry about it and women are socialized to reassure them that it’s not a problem. Actual opinions vary a lot, but that’s what people think they should think.

More importantly though, of all things that make a man a better lover, penis size is the one thing that guys can’t improve on. Everything else is mostly in their control and they can choose to do better. Obsessing about size is very counterproductive.

NaberiusX 2 5h15m

I like to tell girls my dick is Extra Medium. I've never had complaints. shrug

chillest_dude_ 2 5h15m

I used to when I was a teenager. Then I discovered what micropenis was and I thought I’m in the clear.

Slerms 2 5h19m

Not really, I'm confident.

BigCrushOnSallyField 2 5h20m

I’m a fat guy with an average dick. It’s never been an issue. I’m a grower, not a shower, which makes it a bit worse, as I’m maybe an inch and a half flaccid and I’ve got a big gut.

Still, everyone that has wanted to see me naked has been fine with it. I’ve never had complaints about sex, though I do tend to please my partners in other ways.

I do remember being a bit embarrassed when showering with other guys in high school. Still, it’s not a big deal and has never been something I gave much thought to.

BigCashRegister 2 5h21m

I’m alright with it. I used to feel insecure but now I’ve come to terms with it.

ndorox 2 5h21m

It's never made sense. By all the articles I've read and according to girls I've been with, I'm more than average. Still always felt like I wanted a little more. I've chalked it up to my own ego. It's never been more important to anyone else than it was to me.

PC__LOAD__LETTER 2 5h25m

I would take a bigger peen if it was offered, but no I don’t really care or think about it. What I have is perfectly adequate to get the job done.

Financial_County_710 2 5h25m

Better to big then to small…

Individual-Text-1805 2 5h30m

According to the internet I have America's most average sized penis in everyway. So not terribly concerned by that.

rdtadmnsarefgts 2 5h33m

Yes. I used to think I was small because 100% of the penises I saw were on pornstars. I never measured it, I just had mine to compare to theirs and I assumed I was so much smaller than everyone else.

I'm 2 inches longer and an inch wider than the average, and even I felt ashamed for no reason.

RabbitFromBrazil 2 5h36m

I think that is better have a big size and don't need it than need it and don't have.

I learn English

Straz420 2 5h51m

So as a gay man you end up seeing the difference in size the Junk and all that and I genuinely don't care about the size of my or others junk but I can see how a straight guy would with social jokes and all

awesomedan24 2 6h16m

A large penis is culturally associated with confidence, masculinity and bravado. "Big dick energy", "that was a big dick move" etc. A man lacking in size can feel emasculated, and worried their partner isnt being adequately satisfied.

I'm more or less content with my size, though I'd have much preferred being left with the foreskin I was born with, but that's another topic.

BlazeThatTieDye 2 6h21m

Ummmmmm idk. I’m told it’s huge but really it’s 2.3 inches hard.

Idk man bad dreams.

Forever a virgin.

cheeseburgerwhore 2 6h46m

They’re crying because they have the average/perfect size and you know the bigger ones hurt, meaning you slept with someone else which they’re upset by.

(or could be because of ego issues lol i ain’t a guy ion know)

AzasalTheDev 2 6h49m

Why would I care about my pp being small if nobody is going to use it?

vhisic 2 6h53m

Cause despite what half the women on the planet say, the other half says differently. Which really tells us half of you are lying, for everyone woman that says size doesnt matter, there is another one shouting "oh yes it does! I dont need no small dick man!", and to be real, those ones make themselves way more vocal than you do. We are conditioned to believe from a young age (weirdly) that bigger is better. We see it play out day to day as well, ive been sat with a group of women checking out a dudes bulge, im sure most of us have overheard the candid conversations. Not to even mention when it comes up in tv shows etc.

draco0562 2 6h58m

No. Because I haven't even been in a date in 9 years. No need to worry when you ain't got anyone to impress.

carnivorousEgg 2 7h7m

I stopped giving a fuck about it but when I was young I was definitely insecure with it's size. Nothing wrong being average, can't workout your way to a bigger junk anyway lol.

cartmicah3 2 7h17m

I'm very small. Just a couple more inches and I would be happy. Just 2.

shyervous 2 7h28m

As a Virgin yes I care I don’t know anything about sex the only thing porn has taught me is bigger=better. And I look at mine and welp, I lose faith

knut_420 2 7h34m

It's nice not having to drive some huge truck or dumb loud car. That's why I like the size of my junk.

Mattrockj 2 7h47m

Not really, but that’s mostly cause I know it’s bigger than average

msr2020 2 7h55m

Well its kinda of a "manly" thing. The bigger your dick size the more of a man you are. Of course this is all bullshit, but most men grew up with this in their head. Learned it from parents or friends.

I was concerned with my dick size and took penis enlargement pills when I was in my 20s (of course they didnt work). Women never complained about my size. So i let it go.

whiteguide 2 7h57m

It's one of the curses of the Western society

Rayquaza2233 2 7h58m

It's 4 inches but it's not like there's anything I can do about it or that it matters anyway.

KuniIse 2 7h58m

Criticizing or comparing penis size is a powerful way to attack a man's self esteem. There is a lot less pressure on a man to look a certain way, dress a certain way, even just be good looking. But many men are sensitive about penis size and sexual virility, because that *is* something society and media seem to think they A. Have control over and B. Should care about.
I have had one girlfriend compare my penis size to an ex's (to my detriment), and let me tell you, it was not a fun feeling.

Looking back on it, I am 100% certain it was to keep me from even considering other women or relationships. She was...not a secure person. But it was a very effective way to undermine my own sexual self-confidence.

gbdavidx 2 7h59m

Uninstall Tiktok that app is crap

RelentlessRogue 2 8h10m

Honestly, porn makes us think that anything less than 9" is small.

It's the same way that men are only portrayed to be "attractive" if they have 6-pack abs, well defined arms and legs, so on and so forth.

I know, realistically, I've got a very nice sized cock. But not gonna lie, I'd still be happier with an extra inch or two.

Ikea_Man 2 8h21m

Not really, but then again I know it's not small enough to be problematic

Women don't really care as long as it's not like super huge or basically a micropenis. Most dicks are fine breh

TransportationOk9656 2 8h21m

No I don’t use it anymore anyhow.

lane_gug 2 8h26m

it looks small but when I compare it too my Samsung note 20 it's almost long so I don't know

roamingslav 2 8h27m

I’m proud of my junk it is statistically above average not much else of me is

Tabenes 2 8h28m

I just want mine too be the same size all the time.

TinyRaptor- 2 8h28m

Nah not really

I guess you don't really care about something of you don't have any use for it.

friendly_raccoon123 2 8h33m

All women are different, the ones that like big dicks are the loudest

Fresh_Item_8956 2 8h35m

Growing up I thought i was average and then I turned 26 and almost had a threesome and then I realized, I’m below average

RustlessRodney 2 8h39m

The size of my junk doesn't realistically matter, since nobody wants anything to do with it. So the fact that I'm a based 8"er is pretty much wasted.

AlphaLove_ 2 8h52m

Very very Very much so. Nothing quite like someone laughing when you finally get naked with them.

redditcrazy123 2 8h57m

yes I care, it's 4 inches, it's an ego thing; it sucks being attracted to certain types of women knowing I'm not big enough

br_tretando 2 8h58m

Someone already wrote here about the math comparing the average dick with the average dildo but I was curious about the standard deviation, so here goes the math considering a normal distribution:

Average: 5.17" (13.12cm) Standard Deviation: 0.65" (1.66cm)

source: San Diego union tribune article

Breaking by standard deviation:

J < -3sd: 0.6% < 3.22" (8.14cm)

-3sd < J < -2sd: 1.2% 3.22" (8.14cm) ~ 3.87" (9.8cm)

-2sd < J < -1sd: 13.1% 3.87" (9.8cm) ~ 4.52" (11.46cm)

-1sd < J < +1sd: 68.2% 4.52" (11.46cm) ~ 5.82" (14.78cm)

+1sd < J < +2sd: 13.1% 5.82" (14.78cm) ~ 6.47" (16.44cm)

+2sd < J < +3sd: 1.2% 6.47" (16.44cm) ~ 7.12" (18.1cm)

J > +3sd: 0.6% > 7.12" (18.1cm)

So if the average dildo is 7.5" it is bigger than the average dick + 3sd (7.12" - 18.1cm) and so is bigger than 99.4% of the dicks out there.

It may not be that women prefer bigger but the average dildo seeker/user is buying something that is bigger than over 99% of the Joes out there and it sure do not contribute to the argument that size doesn't matter.

It's not a rational thing but 100% dick size is, at some point, motive for shame or pride in the life of a civilized human male.

I don't remember what I was thinking earlier today but I saw a post about dick size and was thinking to myself "I should tell my wife (18y together) how glad I am that she never made any comments or jokes about my size (am average) because I don't know if I could take it" like the guy that commented about his girl casually telling him that she got bigger ones before, that will definetely cause damage and I would imagine the average damage will be exponentially worst the further you are from those +3sd.

bananachipking 2 9h12m

At least I have been made fun of and turned down by two women for my very small size....she then went on to tell everyone she knew about it and half the town now gets a good giggle out of it...even.my current girlfriend hadn't had sex with me in over a year and we barely had sex before that which doesn't boost my confidence about it.....it's pretty sui-fuel stuff

De_Dominator69 2 10h11m

I am 22, never had sex or been in a relationship, but never the less my mentality towards my dick size have never changed.

I have decided to convince myself that my dick is really small, and it's what I tell people if they ever ask, purely so that when the time comes I will either be right and have appropriately set their expectations, or I will pleasantly surprise them if it turns out it isn't.

poke23613 2 10h23m

Some men think they’d like to have a bigger one because they can’t do certain things they know they’d enjoy. If it’s not big enough, woman on top may not work too well. It may not stay in place and if it goes to the sides it may end up being “crushed” and it will hurt. It can also kill the mood if she’s riding and enjoying it and all of a sudden she goes up more than she should, his manhood goes to the side and all of a sudden that great moment is interrupted. Even if they resume, it sucks. If it was long enough she’d be able to ride without worry. She may even stop doing the woman on top positions because she knows it won’t end well.

A man may also find his thrusting underwhelming if his manhood is not big enough. To him, it feels better if he can bring it back a lot (without removing it all the way) before thrusting again. She may be enjoying it and praising him but if he feels he’s not big enough, he won’t enjoy it. He can’t do what he’d like to do, and feel what he’d like to feel. He may be madly in love and horny but may still tell himself (in his mind) that he’s not good enough.

comedian42 2 10h28m

Guys care about their dicks the way girls care about their waists. Critically, favouring a standard that is completely contrary to the other gender's preferences and not in keeping with the average.

Also we really need to stop measuring by length and start measuring by volume. For science.

itsallcomingtogethr 2 11h22m

I think it’s that in reality there’s really no accepted average. Take that then factor in the 8 inch porno dicks and the 10 inch dildos and the “average” gets even hazier. I personally as a black guy with a totally average dick always get nervous that some girl’s gonna expect some mythical creature to just wack her on the forehead and give her a black eye as soon as she unzips my pants.

Aperfectmoment 2 11h23m

then why all the huge dildos though

LonelyLokly 2 11h49m

My gf kept repeating that she prefers the average size (mine is around 14-15 cm).
I was still in a spot where i felt like it isn't big enough, but after we did some experimenting with toys and i've seen first hand how uncomfortable she is even with a silky smooth vibrator just a bit bigger than my penis - I fully believed her.

rapti_ 2 12h58m

Mine is average. I never felt bad and insecure about it. Maybe because sex isn't something I try to be good at.

Sure_Leave7575 2 12h58m

Because it's one inch and worthless.

Bet_You_Wont 2 12h58m

It's just a prt of the male pecking order. Some guys gotta have something to pick on others about in order to raise their own self esteem.

MirrenSinclair 1 1h17m

Also a question. Porn is often made with the male gaze in mind. Men in said films often say things like 'take it all' and variations of that. Why is that if it has the potential to make a lot of men insecure ?

Remarkable_Regret_80 0 2h2m

Big strong male taking small weak female is a scenario that is just very sexy to a lot of people and men will imagine themselves being that well endowed guy. I definitely think men on average find the idea of (having) large dicks much more appealing than women receiving it- thats also part of the reason why men have these insecurities: they find the idea of themselves being big very attractive. (tell your boyfriend more often!)

So porn is just meant to be fun in the moment, it doesnt matter whether its actually healthy in the long run.

[deleted] 1 2h12m


Remarkable_Regret_80 2 2h22m

Should we then also tell straight women that they cant date someone bigger&stronger? Yes it might be more of a hetero thing but people like these dynamics so it is what is and with the right balance between bedroom/real life I dont see the harm in it

2) Im guessing you dont date men then since you seem unable to understand this? Its in our nature to compare ourselves to others and if you teach every generation of boys that the size of their dicks affects how strong and dominant as a man they are (which you also teach them is the ideal role they need to aspire to) then is it really that surprising that guys end up being insecure about it?

[deleted] 1 2h27m


Remarkable_Regret_80 2 2h36m

of course she doesnt..? My point is that there is nothing wrong with her wanting a physically stronger man and in the same way its not harmful to make your guy feel big - in either possible way.

2) haha of course, if you think your male friends or often even a boyfriend would tell you these sort insecurities you really dont actually "know" many men. No guy makes a big deal about their penis size outside the internet, doesnt mean they dont think about it. But sure you can unlearn societal standards but that takes some serious changes in your environment or your experiences

_Turiya 1 2h46m

i’m a grower not a shower and bitches love it but it’s always nice to be able to say if i pulled out my shit soft you would still be in awe 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

AbhorrentNexus 1 3h55m

No, SPH rocks!

bbgxth 1 4h3m

maybe because women constantly joke and hate on different sizes of their junk, something they can’t change. i see so many women on social media just dragging men for smaller or too big junk, and i assume that’s why men are so insecure about it.

to all the men out there. your size is perfectly fine, there is someone out there that will appreciate it. all sizes are perfect and beautiful.

No_Fan6078 1 4h22m

The vast majority of women always said that want or like average but when you see what is her reaction to a big ones or what dildos their prefer you see clearly an incoherence and you feel that you are not good enough to satify her and thats why that becomes important and started to become in an insecurity or a concern you don't know if you are really enough to satify her or she is just lying to you because of she have a dildo bigger than you and even if she didn't have it. you don't have to be worried because your cookie can adapt to almost any size with time, maybe in the beginnig could be hard for you to have sex with a big one but as long as you have sex it expand and sooner or later you will be able to get all inside you. So that's it, if doesn't exist porn industry or the women don't prefer or likes dildos bigger than average maybe it would not be a concern. Even I know that women humilliated men just to have an average, telling things like : " that's all what you got, god get out me from here", " do you think that I can feel something with that", " are you serious" to proceed to laugh out loud, ' all what you do, to bring me here and you just show me that little thing". So these are some examples that I heard/readed/see for some men that get hurt for some women.

So I hope this will help you to understand why that has became in a concern more for men than women.because we could be rejected, humilliated or embarrased just for our junk size, moreover of the feeling of not knowing if we are goob enough to satisfy our parnert.

FWhitakersGoodEye 1 4h28m
chafingbuttcheex 1 4h44m

Calling it “ junk” is so trashy

izaaksb3 1 4h50m

I’m satisfied. I have been complimented and haven’t been laughed at yet so no complaints. Definitely rather have too much of something than not enough though!

Hrekires 1 4h51m

If I could take a pill to make me a shower instead of a grower, sign me up. Always secretly jealous of guys with a nice bulge.

But otherwise totally fine with my erect length and girth.

Unusual_North 1 4h52m

Thickness matters more than being super long. Just saying

ImperfectDivinity 1 4h52m

I used to but when I realized that dwelling on my 2 inch tic tac did nothing but add to my misery, I just realized that focusing on something like my work and doing something productive was better than focusing on something I can’t change.

Sweet-Zookeepergame7 1 4h53m

Idk because I have a big dick (told and Google checks)

So ?

I don’t know I’m happy with it.. but if I wasn’t well endowed I don’t think I would be, because society seems to care about this shit a lot.. Like an unhealthy amount .

BlueKing7642 1 4h57m

Some days most days I’m cool with it but others I feel really insecure

sokkates 1 4h58m

I personally don’t bc it’s out of my control but I also have the privilege of not exactly having a small penis. I bet if it’s legitimately small than yea you’d care, probably a hard thing to get over tbh. But I hope dudes don’t bother themselves over it too much, it’s out of their hands.

I wouldn’t even say it’s an ego thing just an insecurity perpetuated by our society.

mojobytes 1 5h4m

Meh, nobody is going to see it but me, doctors and the coroner.

dmderringer 1 5h4m

Nope, can't do anything to change it, so why worry

JESquirrel 1 5h6m

I would like to have an extra big one but mostly just so I stand out in some way.

SmallHandsMallMindS 1 5h23m


Have you ever heard the expression 'Big Dick Energy'? Cause im pretty sure that gets said by women more than men

duck_duck_grey_duck 1 5h24m


Never had a complaint. Always satisfied my women. And now my wife is quite satisfied with it.

Plus, who gives a shit? I’m a lot more than my dick.

pyrooomaniac 1 5h36m

Ay some point I think we all care or care still but in my case I stopped caring when I got compliments from ex gfs and found out I’m above average (never checked) but it’s definitely something that can hurt as it can’t be changed

Jake_Chief 1 5h38m

When you are younger you get inexperienced women that have ONLY seen the magnum dongs from porn, so they will occasionally make comments that can have lasting effects.

I'm happy with what I've been given but there is always the "what if" that sits back there.

SlurpyBanana 1 5h38m

I wouldn't care if it was small. That's not my problem. That's whoever else's problem. But I'm confident that I could compensate.

Joesdad65 1 5h38m

My wife of 28+ years has always been happy with it, so I am too. According to alleged statistics I'm average there, and she's 5'1", so it's all good.

SkaTSee 1 5h38m

I'm comfortable with mine. Not too big, not too small, the goldilocks zone really

Haltopen 1 5h39m

It’s one of those things where society kind of just invented a rule on what we should desire and pop culture reinforced it. “Bigger is better, so obviously we need bigger genitals”.

Personally I don’t get why Im apparently supposed to want a bigger dick, it would just give me anxiety about having some kind of horrible accident where it bends or breaks.

braapstututu 1 5h40m

no, if anything mine is a bit too big and i dont want to make make my boyfriend uncomfortable.

Sam-Angel 1 5h42m

We're just victims of body image on social media. I wouldn't think most feel that different anyway since the highest sensitivity is usually near the entrence anyway.

Overall, people put way too much focus on penetration when it's not even the main way many get off.

Same_Demand_9682 1 5h45m

Yes of course it’s one of my biggest insecurities and I’m not even on the short side it’s not only pressure from fellow dudes but also women because if you are short there isn’t much you can do except make your hands and mouth do some work

evanh6152 1 5h45m

Not really, doesn't get much use anyway

Pkmn- 1 5h45m

Yeah, I care about the size of my money bags. That's how I invest to be an CEO, not some poor fuck pimp eating bones and rones to have sex with 25 year old roasties while he sleeps in a dirty cushion in the ground on the house of his mother.

TheDevilsAdvokaat 1 5h48m

I'm in the top 5% size wise.

So I've never really worried about it much.

There are definitely women who prefer a larger size and they let you know when they see it.

However, unless you're REALLY small, most women care a whole lot more about height, looks, money, hygiene, loyalty etc. There's a whole grocery list of things women want in a partner and penis size is way down on the list for most of them.

To put this in perspective, I had a female friend who was on the phone to me upset about a guy she'd met. He was a security guard and a big husky guy, good looking, good personality and she liked everything about him..except his penis. He had micro-penis....yes this is a really thing. It's a condition where something goes wrong and the penis fails to achieve full growth...in his case he was about 2.5 inches long.

She was upset and crying because she really liked the guy and wanted to stay with him and tried to make sex work but in the end was just unsatisfied so she gave up.

So...that's 2.5 inches, and yet even so she TRIED to make it work.

So fellas...don't worry too much about dick size.

Forkliftdriver1214 1 5h49m

I’ve had a 5 inch penis inside me and told him I thought it was 8. If they know what they’re doing it feels better, therefore you think it’s bigger. Size truly doesn’t make a difference if he knows what he’s doing. Even if he is huge, it’s not going to actually hurt if he does it right.

Soulless_conner 1 5h49m

I just think that I won't be able to satisfy my partner in a way that a bigger dick does. It's an awful feeling

KoDa6562 1 5h51m

I don't care about size typically, but when I hear how my friend's got dicked down by some guy who is 7+ inches (and they claimed they measured him) and how anything less just doesn't satisfy doesn't send a nice message. I try not to take it personally but it can be difficult sometimes.

mcgarrylj 1 5h55m

I’m slightly below average, but according to the first girl I had sex with, who was significantly more experienced than I was, I also last 3-5 times longer than any of her other partners, which really helped the confidence. I’ve always been of the opinion that if I can’t change it there’s no point worrying, but it’s nice to know there are other relevant factors.

dardyablo 1 5h55m


What kind of question is that? Of course we do, all men care about their size, all men want to have a nice dick.

RichardPennsylvania 1 5h56m

I am medium sized and fine with mine, my ex told me I had a good size and I believed her and still do. It’s just not really worth giving thought to shitty toxic ideas about masculinity considering I know that they are literally constructed to make me feel shitty about myself for no reason. Like honestly I think that obsessing over size is just worshiping at the alter of toxic masculinity.

fullmetalasian 1 5h57m

I really don't. As long as I can please my wife I don't care if it's on the smaller side. She seems to like it so that's good enough for me

SJG-Marrow 1 5h58m

Because society has linked masculinity and penis size when it’s not the case. I was always nervous about my size then my girlfriend was pleased with it and it made me realize that for woman they don’t care about size (assuming it’s not a micro) they just care if your too afraid to use it

TaisharManetherener 1 6h1m

I care. because my dick is amazing.

Chiquye 1 6h2m

When I was younger I definitely cared a lot more about this. It was definitely a matter of ego and pride. I think size is often equated to satisfaction by men. Porn definitely reinforces this. So we want to measure up in the literal and figurative sense.

MustContinueWork 1 6h4m

No, i would others though, but not for anything but practical reasons. Some sizes suck, others don't.

I think it stems from the expectation that it grows during puberty, and that size is a sign of maturity. Men are socially rather often concerned with status, and will take any victory they can. So thise with larger sizes will boast it via comparative arguments vs others.

Men are trying to oneup eachother often, not too far off sexual selection in tournament species. Raising status makes them more viable sexual objects of attraction. But yeah i think it is culturally therefore akin to a measure of success, and that men seek validation.

Validate a man in other ways and dick size is the least of his worries!

Blankboom 1 6h5m

No matter how big your penis is, there's a dildo that is bigger.

Feuershark 1 6h11m

because I have no self-confidence and I have nothing special in the body/face department, so if it was bigger than average, that'd be nice

ignislupus 1 6h11m

Im satisfied with my size. I'm above average but not by much. But size never truly mattered did it? It's how you use it that does.

BearBlaq 1 6h11m

I mean statistically it’s average so it’s never bothered me. On top of that I’ve never been with a woman so who knows if I have a reason to be insecure about it.

Y1duqr1s 1 6h12m

Cause I see mine as being short and being concious of how I will do once I have the sex. And porn is one

HybridTheories 1 6h14m

I did until I met my wife. Not for any logical reason, just because I’m a male. Knowing that it satisfies her every time, gives me massive confidence and I stopped worrying.

tacticalassassin 1 6h17m

It’s never got me anywhere so I could give a fuck less at this point

Journeyman1993 1 6h17m

Eh... I mostly use my dick size as a way to make jokes.

tjarod11 1 6h17m

I can't suck my own dick yet, I'm just not flexible enough. A little length would go a long way right now on getting me started.

spudds96 1 6h19m

Nope could care less, I’ve never really got the whole thing about size.

It does what it’s supposed to

Chase0288 1 6h23m

Nope, I don't think about it. Never had any complaints, and never had any one night only action. So I suppose nothing to worry about on that front.

Yungnakedboi 1 6h23m

I’m barely 5 inches, I definitely wish I was bigger. Some close friend of mine are on the bigger size 7.5 & 8in, which looks great but they say their GF can’t take it all the way

IDrinkCrocodileTears 1 6h24m

Well yeah. No one wants to be average, everyone wants to be special, me included.

Even though people say size doesn't matter, it just seems like those things people say to not hurt your feelings, especially when stuff like smalldickenergy is still used to describe something negative.

The worst part is that it's one of those things you can't really change. Like you can't go to the gym and make it better, or do some surgery that would make it 7 inches or some shit (at least from what I know). I guess penis sleeves might help, but it probably isn't the same as skin to skin contact that a naturally big penis might bring.

bigfeetsmallpp 1 6h25m

I'm a 5.5 incher 6 during a good day, I wish it was 7 inches and a bit thicker, tho my fiance says she likes it how it is, I still think I would want to be bigger to pleasure her more.

awkwardsong 1 6h27m

Dicks of all sizes are amazing. Someone, somewhere likes the dick you got to offer. Even if it’s extremely small. Mines below to average length and thick. Some people haven’t liked the length but more often than not they like the thickness. My primary partner loves it and that’s all that matters. So no, size doesn’t matter; but quality partners do.

RuneOfFlame 1 6h30m

Whats weird to me is im above average via measurement, but i dont feel like i am. I guess im just comparatively larger than most people with a not equivalently larger size so it looks smaller to me. Idk

Wise_Command9407 0 3h36m

to me, Not anymore LOL. Whats the use of a big dick if the owner is mentally f**ked up. I’d rather be sharing a prosperous life with a normal , wealthy, good looking guy with a normal sized peepee.

Phallicus_Magnus -1 2h57m

It’s a work ethic thing. The better the tools, the easier the job.

snoozybooty 1 8h2m


PurpleLightningart -1 4h48m

Nope, 7 inches long , almost 5 across. Not too big, but not small, and a bit over average .

DarthVeigar_ 5h28m

That's way over average. The average is 5.5.

deezsandwitches -1 4h58m

I always thought it was a woman's #1. but my wife always says "what girl wants a huge cock?" I know mines a good size (8 inch) so I believe her when she says that but we're taught to believe that from the first porn we watched a huge cock is so important.

MorriganBabyDaddy -2 50m

The only time I think about it is when women tell me they've had bigger even though I'm hung like Sean Lawless.

You can look at these women and tell they've been lucky to see any dick at all and then try to convince you they hit a statistical jackpot and got railed by mandingo.

I don't care about it since I'm well-endowed, but it's just something that's really silly to lie about.

Xman52 -3 41m

I don’t care. Then again, I have pretty big junk so it’s never something I have to worry about.

MimiLaruesmama -3 3h45m

I was with this super selfish guy. I call him “toddler dick”…. I couldn’t even jerk him off while BJ’ing. His junk was pretty much the width of my palm. That’s sad. I understood why he bragged about eating booty and coochie so much… which was also tragic. He was a little little guy. Had to attract with something. Lol

Sonsofbirches 2 4h15m

You've got some mad RBE that's for sure. What a sad comment. Really glad that guy isn't with you anymore. It's very clear that he deserved better.

Unlikely-happy-99 2m

no but i don't like that it is circumcised

RedditUser0000069 -10 1m

As a man who watches a lot of pornography, it is evident that women are more vocal about their pleasure when it’s bigger.

uh_oh_123 21 6m

Called acting

Bird_Blues1991 5 1h16m

It isn't just acting. Whether or not a woman prefers a bigger penis is one thing but they certainly are more stimulating than a smaller one. I'm sure if you shoved two different sized dildos up your butthole that you would note the difference.

Ashamed-Height1106 19 7m

Lol whose gonna tell him

Lonely_Northling 0 11m

I think this is more of a who are going to tell you guys it was sarcasm :P

loadedbakedpopaypo 11 5m

Ahh, of course, but porn isn’t real life and most moans are faked anyways haha. Also, any time something has hurt but I didn’t want to stop, I’d just moan instead of wincing or going “owww”

penis_in_my_hand 1 57m


redfoot62 6h10m

In many ways no. I've never officially measured but I know American dollar bills are exactly 6.14 inches and my dick fits the bill so to speak.

The average dildo length that women by is 7.5 inches. They could buy bigger but they don't. I'd like to think it's because they enjoy the longer handle/literal-joystick, but considering fingers will do the trick, they just find that length a more handsome.

I say all this, acknowledging that I'm actually above average a little bit, which is great. Just being an average white or black man puts one ahead of the smaller races of humans.

If I could wish for a 7 inch, and get it with no health defects, like I was born with it, I would. Whenever a women talk about horseshit like big dick energy, that cocky grin that would appear on my face is probably the signal they're looking for.

Plus just not being average gives that pleasant shocked "I've really got my work cut out for me," look that's impossible not to like, when whipping it out for an inspection.

Another thing I've had happen multiple times in my life, I think men with any experience will know when a woman is sizing him up. Making out, her hand is on the dick, but not stroking, hell, they think they're being subtle by putting the BACK of her hand on the dick like our super-female-touch-detection-nerves are going to be blind to. They turn their wrist, to build an image in their mind's eye. Then if they decide not to have sex, it's probably because they told themselves they'd only put out for 10/10 Chad Thundercock. So, it'd be nice to do that fake as fuck, "I know it's big, I hope it's not too big :(" *insert concerned look that makes her swoon

Sensitive-Rock-7548 13h3m

Have you seen any movies/tv? Constant laughter and jokes about small dicks. Women pointing and laughing at penis size. Other, usually fit or muscular men making jokes of the same, while a hot girl is rubbing against him. The message is clear, a man needs to be hot and has to have a big dick in order to women to like him. I have also heard multiple times a bunch of girls talking of their boyfriens penises, and it was not nice.

The cultural pressure is real, and may be devastating for young boys. We all need to stop supporting it.

Exlixis23 6h30m

Everybody does.

Fuck Tik Tok.

Haikuna__Matata 6h30m

It's the ultimate gauge of masculinity. Nobody wants a small one.

Streptember 6h31m

Yes, because it's not big enough for normal use.

If I want to pee sitting down, I have to hold it down with my hand. Even peeing standing up requires a bit of stretching. Jerking off is relatively difficult.

Dilldozer32 6h32m

A bit because, for me, it’s always been a confidence boost. I’m below average height (5’8”) so having larger than average “junk” is a nice self esteem boost.

Downtown-Librarian72 6h35m

I'm fine with my average endowment. I feel like a massive one would get in the way.

PersonalAlbatross575 6h36m

Nah not really I feel like it’s small but I try not to worry about it to much and just live

badcobber 6h36m

When I was young, yes. My ego and women were priority 1 and 2 and penis size had a part to play in both. I am middle aged and priorities are work, kids and bills and my penis size helps none of those things.

El_gato_picante 6h38m

No, not really cuz i understand that its mostly genetics.


I started taking L-Arginine supps and have noticed a difference. id be lying if i said it didnt make me feel better.

Surbattu 6h38m

I'm a grower and I'm fine with that. My mini grape-sized balls on the other hand... I get a comment about it any time I sleep with someone new. Well, 9 years single and going. I can't do anything about it and it's awful imo. Zero self esteem, no sex drive. Guess I'll die alone with my raisins.

quesadilla_dinosaur 6h38m

Well, I think its probably for the same reason "plus-size" women is a thing (Most men really like plus size women and women tend to overestimate how slim they have to be to be percieved as attractive).

A lot of men don't know the preferences of women because they aren't women, and a lot of sex media that we watch tend to feature guys with huge penises. Its also really really fun to have a large penis because you'll never feel bad for having one. You'll never be the butt of a joke.

Rich4rdFromage 6h40m

Nope, my very average boopie made many a girl aftershock

t_haynes_12 6h40m

Hearing my wife tell me how perfect it is for her is great. I got made fun of in the locker room once for having a small dick. It didn’t help that my balls are much bigger so it looks smaller anyway. Plus I’m not setting any records here.

sedatemenow 6h40m

yeah, I haven't ever been with a woman that doesn't care about the size.

spicy_mango_bear 6h40m


conrid 6h42m

Well, is'nt it kinda the same with boobs though? Well, not that the bigger ones hurt but yknow, that the smaller proportions won't satisfy a mans eyes nor hands?

dudenamedfella 6h42m

Up until I was 29 I never was concerned I and figured I was avg at best. Women have made flattering comments over years prior but I chalked it up ego stroking. But at the age of 29 I had a awesome FB who measured me not once but many times the numbers where always the same 7x6in and I was shocked to say the least.

Now at 7 in long that puts me in the top 95.77% and Average (SD): 5.50" (0.68) Bigger in a room of n: 14 Z-Score: 2.2 Classification: Abnormally Large Times the avg. size: 1.3x

At 6 in around puts me in the top 98.86% and Average (SD): 4.58" (0.52) Bigger in a room of n: 3 Z-Score: 2.7 Classification: Macropenis Times the avg. size: 1.3x

By volume that gives me Median / Mean (SD): 4.56 fl oz / 4.72 fl oz (1.45) Bigger in a room of n: 2 Volume: 295.76ml Classification: Macropenis Times the avg. size: 2.1x

Numbers according this widely used website over at r/bigdickproblems using the western data set

Oh and my flaccid size ain’t nothing to brag about, in the showers I look ever other man.

So all that being said find this all out made me feel more confident about my body in some ways. This Reddit account is really the only place I talk about it.

My favorite game is when I think about my junk in public is “which is thicker my dick or her wrist?”

It’s so strange but now that I’m in the know, I care more, were as before when I thought I was average I didn’t care so much.