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Thursday, January 23, 2014


I have the flu. The real flu. Diagnosed with Influenza A yesterday, and I'd been unable to get up from bed two days before that. I had actually been too sick to go get seen. The thought of having to get dressed, or, you know, stand up, brought me to tears. Today is the first day I've been well enough to move around even a little bit.

As such I've been on my feet since 6:30 a.m. and I honestly feel like I'm about to die.

So, why the heck am I blogging?

Because I'm fucking pissed. This day has been a nightmare, and I have some reviews (good and bad) to dish out. And don't think I'm not going to social media these to the people involved, either. I totally will. Don't freaking mess with me when I'm about to pass out from death.

REVIEW 1 - University of Florida: C

I don't know what their official policy is on the flu and I'm too sick to go look it up and argue about it, but I emailed my professor yesterday after my diagnosis, and while she was plenty kind and polite, she gave me a three-day extension on a 25-pg paper that I cannot fathom starting right now. Because words. And reading them. In order. To have meaning. She gave me no extension on today's assignment which I managed to complete before what we will henceforth call HELL AFTERNOON started. Thank God. She also expects me on class on Monday. The doctor told me not to return to life until February 4th. I'll still be contagious. So, yeah.

For threatening the public health, and clearly not understanding what flu means, UF gets a C.

REVIEW 2 - My Kid's School District: A

I brought my kids to school today because they were BEGGING to go. I knew one of them should not have been there (tho in my defense I didn't know she had the flu because she'd been vaxxed for it. Twice.) I told them the minute she started showing signs of illness fatigue or coughed at all, to call me and have her sent home, regardless of the tantrum she would throw about not being with her twin. They called me at 9:27 a.m. and I went and got her.

For following instructions and caring about human health and the spread of disease their district gets an A.

Which brings us to...

REVIEW 3 - FLU VACCINE (nasal spray): B-

I'm so pro-vaccine I cannot bring myself to give this below a B, but seriously, dudes, wtf. My kids got the mist TWICE this year (because it was their first year for the vaccination). I know strains are different and blah blah blah, and my whole family is going to get vaccinated next year even though this happened this year because it's not the vaccine's fault. But it still majorly blows that we got the mini-sick twice in the fall, and still all got the mother-effing flu anyway.

For failing to protect my kids this year, the flu vaccine gets a B-.

REVIEW 4 - Kids Doc Pediatric: D 

I'm really sorry to give this one out because I really, really love the main doctor and his wife and their business. But, guys, enough is too much. I called in the early morning for an appt (righ t after they opened), and got scheduled for 2:15 p.m. I got there on time, paid my copay, and we waited for 45 minutes in the waiting room. What's the big deal, right? Sometimes doctors are busy. Well, the big deal is it was packed  in there, and they don't have a sick waiting room and a well one. Just one waiting room. And I told everyone we had the flu and sat us as far away from people as we could, but kids still kept coming up and trying to touch the twins because they look like the same person and are therefore incredibly interesting to the under 10 set. Also, we ended up right next to a six year old just there for his yearly. I wanted to die of flu-guilt. They didn't even have masks.

When they finally put us in the room, it was another 45 minutes before the doctor saw us. The room had a sticky mess in the middle of it and our sneakers all got stuck. Gross. I mentioned that to the doctor, and she was like, huh. That's weird. Then my kid wanted water. The doctor's office did. not. have. water. They gave her a popsicle instead. She didn't want it. I also had to ask them to retake her temp because the first reading was 95.7. The second reading? 103.6.

On our way out, I reminded them to call in the scripts. They forgot. But I'll come back to that.

For giving countless children the flu, making my daughter wait for 90 minutes with an ear infection, the flu, a respiratory infection, and 104 temp, Kids Doc gets a D.

REVIEW 5 - United Health Care: D+

While I've received great customer service every time I've called them, I'm going to have to call them again because somewhere along the line they decided to start charging copays for well-visits, and not only that, but they back-issued payment for all of last year. So the doctor's office tried to charge me hundreds of dollars and I had to be like lol no. I don't like surprise charges or back charges.

For trying to charge me for old money you weren't collecting at the time, United Health Care gets a D+.


When my husband went to get vaccinated against the flu on Saturday (lol the day before I came down with it), they charged him $30. Flu shots are free. He called and the customer service rep told him it must have been an administering fee. Which it wasn't. He now has to call a bunch of different numbers to get the charge taken off.

When we paid for my tamilflu, we paid $100 deductible first, then the medicine. The next day, when I had to pay for my kids' tamilflu, they tried to charge me the deductible again. Calling customer service got a different person with a different answer each time. Now we have to call various numbers again to get the overcharge rectified. I do not have a million dollars for fake deductibles, Caremark, thanks.

On top of that, all of the CVS stores in town were OUT of tamilflu. Which wouldn't have been so bad, except that those stores weren't cool enough to tell the doctor when she phoned them in and waited for my sick-as-death ass to show up with my glassy, green kids to tell me, LOLSORRY. Not impressed. In fact, I actually cried at the fourth pharmacy to do this to me.

So, for failing every which way and making me hate them forever, CVS Caremark gets an F.

Which brings me to:

REVIEW 7 - Walgreens: A-

After running through my CVS options, I finally ended up at Walgreens, where, at first, no one was at the drive-through window. A man who was clearly off the clock and on his way out must have seen my stricken face, because he put his coat down and started my order for me. After that, a nice young man took over, and before filling all the drugs (which the Walgreens HAD) he told me they'd cost $70 a piece, which really sucked. I asked him why, and asked if it was because we had Caremark, and he smiled sympathetically and said yes. Then he filled our abx which was only $9, and instead of filling the tamilflu, he called every single CVS in the area until he found one that had it in stock. He transferred the order there, and I had my husband pick it up after work, (where he again had issues with Caremark.)

For being decent human beings, having medicine in stock and helping me even though you sold less drugs, Walgreens gets an A-.

Now, during this whole pharmacy debacle, my check-engine light came on and my car started shaking. Which brings me to:

REVIEW 8 - Honda of Gainesville: D+

After charging me $600 for new tires when I went in to check out a rattling noise a month or so ago, the dealership said I wouldn't need oil for another whole year because the oil was full and looked new. I'm too sick to go get the car checked right now, but without that rec, I'd have gotten the oil changed 1000 miles ago, bc that's when the sticker told me to get it changed. I'm willing to bet the $200 that Caremark is never going to give back to me that the problem with the car is the oil. Since I can't be sure, I won't fail them. But still.

For telling me my car was fine, and telling me to ignore maintenance stickers, Honda of Gainesville gets a D+.

And finally, we have:

REVIEW 9 - Grocery Mama: A+

After the day I had yesterday, just to be treated cordially and like a person was enough to inspire eternal gratitude in this small business. When I used it, I thought it was just a regular grocery service, which it is, but it's also way better than that. It's a local, one-family, business, and they are just doing everything right. I hope they have great, great success in everything. Here's what I left on their FB page review section:

Grocery Mama is amazing. I'm dead with the flu right now, and had to use a service for the first time in my life today. Within seconds of receiving my list online, the owner called me, clarified all concerns, and continued pertinent conversation throughout the trip to make sure she got what I wanted. Her understanding and humor was a breath of fresh air after a day of everything gone wrong. After the shopping she had to hand off the reins and called to make sure I was okay with a man dropping the groceries off. At every step, she ensured my comfort. When she couldn't find a brand I wanted she texted to see if another brand would be okay, and when it wasn't, she took time out to ask a store employee where the exact item was. My groceries were here within an hour of me ordering them. AND I FORGOT TO GIVE A TIP. They were so polite, they didn't even stick around in case I would remember. Please come back, Grocery Mama, bc I have all the monies to give you. It is unacceptable that such stellar service go tipless. I recommend that any and everyone use this service. They cater to all the local grocery stores too. I could not have had a better experience, and I was in a BAD MOOD, so that was hard to pull off. They're wonderful.



1 comment:

  1. My wife recently brought her car into the dealership (Carmax, who we love in general) for something unrelated, they also told her she needed new tires and that it was going to cost $400 to change them. Which leads me to my point: NEVER let the dealership change your tiers. Seriously. If you do a little work you can almost always find new, like new, or gently used tires that will fit your car for around $100.



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