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When “the Dream Dies” But the Ideal Persists: Representations of the Couple Relationship and Its Connection To Intimate Partner Violence Experiences

Intimate partner violence (IPV) is now recognized internationally as a significant problem against which public action is being taken. However, victims commonly disclose little of this violence. The understanding of sociocultural factors that prevent women from talking about their male partner’s violence towards them thus appears to be an important issue. Using a qualitative approach, this study examines the representations that women survivors of IPV draw on to give meaning to the couple relationship and the links that these representations maintain with IPV and the help-seeking process. Nineteen women, who had previously experienced abuse from an intimate partner, participated in semi-structured interviews. Despite the experience of violence, an idealized vision of the couple relationship persists among the majority of respondents and conflicts with their experience of violence. This gap between an ideal and lived experience appears to be a major source of suffering for the participants who thus develop different strategies to preserve their ideal. These strategies appear to have the effect of minimizing and concealing violence.