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Arranged Marriages among Young Educated Muslim Women in South Sulawesi Indonesia

Previous studies claimed that arranged marriages occur in underdeveloped societies, among the uneducated and low social classes. However, in Indonesia, especially South Sulawesi, arranged marriages also occur among young educated Muslim women. This study aims to answer why young educated Muslim women accept arranged marriages by their parents or families instead of marrying their boyfriends. This study also elaborated further on the issue of their feelings and experiences, such as feelings after marriage, dating experiences, and the reasons their parents matched them. This study used a postcolonial approach to analyze why young educated Muslim women accept arranged marriages. By conducting in-depth interviews with five young educated Muslim women who have married through the arranged process, this study found several reasons why young educated Muslim women accept arranged marriages, including the family system, religious teachings, economic considerations, and personal reasons that they consciously choose.


INTRODUCTION
The notion of love and marriage is inseparable from space and time, and it cannot be separated from its social context, and the idea of love and marriage can vary from one culture to another. Previous studies on love and marriage tend to see love as a personal psychological aspect (Kleingeld and Anderson 2014). In contrast, love is a phenomenon experienced by every human being and is not only a personal issue but also a societal issue (Illouz 1997). In short, love is not only a matter of personal choice but also a matter of social structure. The conception of love in society also affects people cognitively (Beall and Sternberg 1995). Suppose we see love as a social phenomenon. In that case, we cannot separate the analysis from the social structure in which love has the potential to disrupt/change (in a dynamic sense) lineages and class strata in a particular society, and therefore, in the theory of power, love must be controlled (Foucault 1982).
One form of community control over love and marriage is seen through the practice of arranged marriages (Goode 1959), which is still rife in many parts of the world, including in Indonesia. If we read human history in the past, the practice of arranged marriages has occurred for thousands of years in various parts of the world. Although today the practice of arranged marriages is not as popular as it used to be, this practice can still be found in many places (Coontz 2005). Several studies revealed that arranged marriages are most common in Southeast Asia, Africa, and the DINIKA, Volume 7, Number 1, January -June 2022 or not only in Asian countries but also in European countries (Jones 2010).
In Indonesia, marriage has been a problem in the gender movement since the Women's Congress in 1938, and one of the discussions was on arranged marriages (Blackburn 2004;Martyn 2005;Suryochondro 1984;Vreede-De Stuers 1960). There has been much research on marriage, but there is still a dearth of discussion about arranged marriages. Although several previous studies have discussed arranged marriages in Indonesia, there are still frequent misunderstandings. For example, the assumption that arranged marriages only occur in backward, uneducated, low social classes, as many previous studies have shown. But the fact is, in Indonesia, especially in South Sulawesi, arranged marriages also occur among women who are educated, prosperous in the economic field, or are in the uppermiddle class.
The lack of research that discusses arranged marriages in South Sulawesi, especially from a postcolonial perspective (showing the diversity of choices and reasons women accept arranged marriages), makes this research important. Based on my research, several pieces of literature state that arranged marriages occur because: (1) traditional/cultural heritage, those arranged marriages occur because it has become a tradition or culture of particular community groups, and it is passed down from generation to generation as part of socio-cultural identity; (2) maintain the family system, that arranged marriages occur because of maintaining the kinship system in certain familial principles in society; (3) for the sake of social and economic status, those arranged marriages are another strategy to maintain the social and economic level of families or agencies involved with the broader community; (4) religious doctrine/religious reasons, there are many arranged marriages due to religious reasons, that religion, Islam for example, allows polygamy in some instances which is then used to legitimize arranged marriages. The last reason can be found easily in Islamic boarding schools, as an Islamic education environment (Abdullah 2014;Umiarso 2017), where many arranged marriage cases occur (Wafiroh 2018).
Several other pieces of literature also show that a personal agency can overcome arranged marriages and that women's agency is not always lost in the case of marriage (Pande 2015;Fox 1975;Batabyal and Beladi 2002;Sheel 2005). A strong personal agency can provide more room for resistance to arranged marriages. Stronger romantic love also provides opportunities for both parties involved in the marriage to reject the arranged marriages (Illouz 1997;Bhopal 2000). Apart from the personal agency and strong romantic love, highly educated women may also reject the practice of arranged marriages, that they can think more critically about marriage, where women should be able to make their own choices and tend to have the view that arranged marriages is outdated (Bhopal 2011;Pande 2015;Bhopal 2000). Although in certain cases, arranged marriages are even more common among educated people.
In South Sulawesi, for example, the practice of arranged marriages is increasing among educated Muslim women. Therefore, this study wants to answer questions such as: first, why do arranged marriages arranged marriage practices in South Sulawesi is important amid the lack of research and the misunderstanding of several previous studies. Although I can claim that there is a dearth of research on arranged marriages in South Sulawesi, because there is very little research on this topic, to say nothing at all, that examined the arranged marriages of educated women in South Sulawesi. However, there have been many studies on arranged marriages in general that come from different places. From these previous studies, which I collected here, there are at least three approaches that are commonly used in viewing arranged marriage practices, first, arranged marriages within the framework of personal agency; second, the relationship between arranged marriages and education; third, arranged marriages as part of the shame and honor. In the following, I try to review previous studies on this topic.
One of the problems that are often associated with arranged marriages is personal agency. Previous studies have shown that women who experience arranged marriages still use their agency to become active actors. For example, Raksha Pande, through research, confirms that some Asian women are not always passive actors; they are also able to use individual agency and their power to navigate their paths in terms of love and their marriage (Pande 2015). The research conducted by Pande is a study that aims to prove that arranged marriages between Indian, Pakistani, and Bangladeshi Women in the UK do not place women in the position of passive subjects. One of the assumptions this study criticizes is that both arranged marriages and forced marriages are cultural practices that undermine individual agency. However, that is not always the case. This Pande study uses the idea of postcolonial feminism by raising two old issues in the feminist debate, namely the idea of individual agency and the role of power in the struggle for women's rights. The results of this study indicate that some Asian women are not always passive actors; they can also navigate their way. Andi Alfian However, not all women can use their agency and become active subjects in the practice of arranged marriages. For example, in research conducted by Greer Litton Fox, she found that love-match marriages (which are fully supported by private agencies) are more likely to be adopted by segments of society who have ideas about modernization and "modern ideas" (Fox 1975 of this study indicate that the adoption of innovation in marriage patterns is most significant among the more modern segments of the population.
Those from this segment are more capable of breaking away from the pattern of arranged marriages.
The personal agency factor is also inseparable from economic (mathematical) considerations, especially when agents think about deciding whether to accept or reject arranged marriages. For example, Amitrajeet A. Batabyal and Hamid Beladi, who studied the comparison between arranged marriages and love marriages, found that the decision to match or accept an arranged marriage depends on a comparison of the estimates of the amount of time needed by the agents to find a partner, especially the estimated total time for the agents to find a partner (Batabyal and Beladi 2002). That is, there is an economic calculation for agents, female or male subjects involved in arranged marriages, to accept arranged marriages.
This study shows that agents or actors who will decide to accept or reject an arrangement have an estimation of whether they still have sufficient time to find a surrogate or the man/woman they want to marry or not.
They tend to compare the estimated time it will take them (participating agents) to find a partner.
Private agencies also provide space for women to think about or consider the practice of arranged marriages. However, economic issues also play a role apart from a personal agency, as shown in the field research conducted by Ranjana Sheel in Vancouver, British Columbia, which examined the relationship between money, marriage, and gender for the status of women (Sheel 2005). This study shows how economic elements, such as money and so on, contribute to developing women's status in society, especially in the practice of marriage. Conversely, women with lower levels of education tend to accept and continue their traditions, including accepting the practice of arranged marriages. Similar research results can be seen in a study by Fauzia Ahmad, who examined the increasing participation rate of British South Asian Muslim women in higher education (Ahmad 2001). This study further explores Muslim women's motivations to enter higher education and sees that these things have also changed the current discourse around Muslim women. The results of this study indicate that higher education is an asset for women to maintain and gain social prestige so that they can become more independent and make their own decisions.
Similar results can be seen in a study which Bhopal also conducted on Indian women's participation in the educational community and their contribution to arranged marriages (Bhopal 2011). By using Etienne Charles Wenger's theory of social capital, this study found that educated women can negotiate their participation in arranged marriages, mainly because education is considered a means to develop a broader bond of connection' than uneducated women. The results of other studies also support that education is closely related to the practice of arranged marriages, for example, the research conducted by Yingchun Ji on the negotiation process between education and marriage, specifically to answer the question of whether women continue education after marriage and how they combine their roles as families and their role as students simultaneously during that transition period (Ji 2013). This study shows that (1) for women with low education, those who are betrothed to continue their education are more likely to continue their education than those who marry for love or marry a partner of their choice. (2) for better-educated women, those who marry for love are more likely to continue their education than those who are betrothed. (3) more educated women who balance personal autonomy and obedience to cultural authority gain parental support in both the formation of their marriage and their personal development (Ji 2013). In short, this research shows that education provides space for women's freedom and independence to reject the practice of arranged marriages and that with good education, they (both women and men) can free themselves from the practice of arranged marriages. Unfortunately, this is not the case in South Sulawesi, where arranged marriages are rife among educated women.
In South Sulawesi, especially in the Bugis-Makassar community, there are cultural values or philosophies of life known as 'Siri na Pacce.' (The word 'Siri' means shame or self-respect, while 'Pacce' means honor and dignity. So, 'Siri na Pacce' more or less implies shame or self-respect that needs to be guarded and maintained, so that dignity and worth are maintained.) With this philosophy, the Bugis-Makassarese often legalized certain things based on this philosophical principle: to maintain shame DINIKA, Volume 7, Number 1, January -June 2022 that early marriage in some societies in Asia aims to protect family honor and social status, and also to secure the future of young women in their socioeconomic aspects (Miedema et al. 2020).In short, arranged marriages are based on shame and honor.On the topic of shame and honor, arranged marriages cannot be separated from the social environment and society. That is, shame and honor cannot be seen only as part of a purely personal sense but in a broader social framework. Even love, which we often think of as a personal issue, is a social issue, as Anne E. Beall and Robert J. Sternberg point out in their research (Beall and Sternberg 1995).
In their study, they seek to answer questions about what romantic love is, why love differs from one period and culture to another, and what love's function is for certain cultures? They argue that "love is a fundamental social construct for society in many ways"-love has been conceptualized at different times and places, and therefore love varies from culture to culture. In short, love is also a socio-cultural issue.
Another previous study examining arranged marriages was the research conducted by Nihayatul Wafiroh on marriages that took place in Islamic boarding schools in Indonesia (Wafiroh 2016;2018). This study shows that women have agency, especially in arranged marriages, by taking five large Islamic boarding schools in East Java and one female informant from each of the Kiai's children. However, despite the context in a religious institution, this study does not answer the question of why women choose to accept an arranged marriage and do not see the relationship between the Andi Alfian concept of an ideal marriage for young people and what they experience, in other words, it does not question its postcolonial aspects.
Andriyati carried out another research that took place in the pesantren environment on arranged marriages (Andriyati 2006). This study seeks to answer the question of how female students perceive arranged marriages and the arranged marriages process in the pesantren environment. The results of his research indicate that several factors that influence students' perceptions of arranged marriages include personal experience, social interaction, and appreciation of religious life. With the background of religious organizations, Savitri conducted similar research on the dynamics of arranged marriages in the marriages of activists of the Islamic movement or Islamic organizations (Savitri 2007). This study looks at the dynamics of arranged marriages through a psychological perspective, that group dynamics also affect individuals in groups, especially in terms of arranged marriages. The results of this study indicate that the group's organizational transformation influences the proportion of choices, approvals, considerations, and individual decision-making, especially in the case of marriage.
From the various studies that have been carried out, none have looked at the practice of arranged marriages within the theoretical framework of postcolonialism. In addition, they tend to see that education contributes to the decline in arranged marriages, whereas in South Sulawesi, this is not the case. In other words, even among educated people, arranged marriages are still possible. This is what this research wants to answer and elaborate on.
This study applies a qualitative research methodology. The reason is that the qualitative research method allows me to explore the personal experiences of educated Muslim women who experience arranged marriages. Meanwhile, when using quantitative methodologies, they often only rely on verification and confirmation of data and are less able to DINIKA, Volume 7, Number 1, January -June 2022 Arranged Marriages among Young Educated Muslim Women 65 capture the "why" and "how" aspects of a phenomenon (King, Keohane, and Verba 1994;Booth, Colomb, and Williams 2008). Another reason for using this qualitative research methodology is so that I can analyze causality between one variable and another, and this research does not aim to test hypotheses and make generalizations as in quantitative analysis (Neuman 2014;Nasution 1998). Therefore, in this study, the author will try to gain an in-depth understanding of the arranged marriage phenomenon among educated women by using such research methodology. (women who experience arranged marriages) and supporting sources (actors involved in the arranged marriages process).
In terms of data collection methods, this study uses several methods of collecting research data, including in-depth interviews and literature studies. The interview referred to here is a question and answer session between the researcher and the resource person (Blaikie 2005;Bhattacherjee 2012), which in this study were educated women who experienced arranged marriages. I conducted in-depth interviews to understand the experiences of educated Muslim women who experienced arranged marriages from different regions in South Sulawesi. In addition, I also use literature study as a data collection method. I collect and read books, scientific papers, research reports, academic journals, and other information sources on arranged marriages among women. These relevant pieces of literature are secondary sources that also provide data for this research.

Postcolonialism as Conceptual Framework
One of the theories I use to approach the practice of arranged marriages is the theory of postcolonialism, which can explain the practice of arranged marriages in modern times and among educated people.
Although until now, the debate about the definition of "postcolonial" in social theory is not over (Loomba 2015). The term postcolonialism is often misunderstood when the words "post" are interpreted as indicating "time" after colonialism ends, whereas, as stated by Jorge de Alva (Loomba 2003), the term postcolonialism should not be understood as a condition of "after" colonialism ended but as a fight against the discourses and practices of colonialism.
Since postcolonialism is more of a fight against the practice of colonialism, this theory is also often associated with transdisciplinary critical discourse, especially about globalization and representational politics (race, class, gender/sexuality, ethnicity, religion) (Puilan 2002) related to other dimensions such as economics, political, social, psychological and so on as a postcolonial (postcolonial) condition (Ritzer 2007). The postcolonial theory rejects essentialism and rejects the identification of groups of people, societies, and cultures that are then considered universal.
The reason is that knowledge is power; when knowledge essentialism is applied, violence occurs. The knowledge referred to here is not ordinary.
However, as proposed by Michel Foucault, knowledge is an ideology that has no basis in reality, which is used solely to justify the harm done to the lives of others, to oppress and exploit others for the sake of pleasures and benefits of a particular person (Foucault 1982).
The postcolonial approach or theory wants to see and dismantle the study of arranged marriages, which often sees it as a uniform and one pattern. As in postcolonialism, subject and power relations are often contradictory (Ashcroft, Griffiths, and Tiffin 2013), that violent practices Furthermore, through postcolonial theory, women in arranged marriages are not only seen as passive subjects who follow and preserve their culture/traditions but also as active subjects who can navigate and modify their culture (Pande 2015). The postcolonial approach to arranged marriage issues shows the complex dynamics between women who accept arranged marriage because there is no other choice and women who accept arranged marriage because of their own decisions and desires. This approach is, at the same time, a critique of previous studies that view women as merely passive subjects and tend to generalize.

Profiles of Married Educated Young Muslim Women
I conducted interviews with five women who were in "arranged marriages," women who had married at the behest and choice of their parents. In every interview, I started with the question, do they agree to call their marriage an "arranged marriage," or a marriage arranged by their parents, or an arranged marriage? The five women I interviewed agreed to call their marriage an arranged marriage, and they agreed to do so. Even though one of them-namely Fathma-did emphatically say that her marriage was a forced marriage, she was forced to marry the supervisor of her pesantren, and because she had no other choice, so she chose to live it.
All the women I interviewed were Muslim women, aged between 18-24 years, and educated (at least they were pursuing a bachelor's degree).  Zahra is a Muslim woman from Wajo Regency who got married in August 2019, exactly four months after she finished her undergraduate education. Before getting married, she had a boyfriend and was in a relationship with him for three years. His parents found out that Zahra had a boyfriend, but his parents insisted on not accepting their daughter's boyfriend and chose to marry off their daughter to another man. The man who became Zahra's husband was two years older than her, 26 years old, and from the same city, Sengkang, Wajo Regency.
Nissa is a woman of seven siblings from the Gowa Regency. She married in February 2020 while she was still in her first semester of college. From their marriage, Nissa and her husband now have one son.
Before deciding to marry, Nissa was in a relationship with a man she called her boyfriend, but her parents did not know she had a boyfriend. As she admitted, her parents forbade her to date. Her husband, a man, chosen by her parents, is the same age as her, 20 years old, and comes from the Bulukumba district.
Fathma is the eldest of three children from Pinrang Regency who was married in October 2020. She admitted that she accepted the marriage because it was arranged or forced because she did not want the marriage.
Fathma, as I called her, was preparing to enter higher education (age 18) when her parents decided to marry her off to a 35-year-old pesantren builder. The man who became her husband is from Bone Regency and teaches at the Yastrib Islamic Boarding School. Azizah is a Muslim woman from Soppeng Regency who was married in January 2021. Before getting married, Azizah had a boyfriend and was currently studying in college. Azizah said that the day before the wedding, her boyfriend still had time to contact her parents, but her parents rejected her boyfriend. Now, Azizah has just given birth to her first child.
Azizah's husband is 29 years old and from the same district, Soppeng Regency. According to Azizah's confession, she and her husband have a Andi Alfian family relationship; Azizah's grandmother and her husband's grandfather are brothers.

Nadila is the eldest of two children born and settled in Makassar
City. Nadila got married exactly a year after her undergraduate graduation, in August 2020, and now Nadila is pregnant with her first child. Nadila's husband is 29 years old and from Palu, Central Sulawesi. In Nadila's own family, two of her cousins are also matched. Before accepting her match, she had been in a relationship with her college friend for approximately four years; she had just ended the relationship the day before getting married.

Their Reasons for Accepting Arranged Marriages
At the beginning of the interview, after they shared their agreement with me to call their marriage an arranged marriage, I started asking questions: "Why did you accept the marriage? What is your reason?" Because these five women had different reasons, and to make the answer clear here, I'm writing them down one by one: a) Zahra (Wajo, 24 Years Old) When she heard the question, Zahra replied that she accepted the marriage as fate because a few months before she was married, her mother died and advised her to marry the man her family chose, even though Zahra had a boyfriend at the time. So, according to Zahra, in a forced situation, she must repay her mother's services by fulfilling her request to marry the family's choice. Besides that, for that reason, after Zahra paused and thought for a while, she continued her answer, that as the only child in the family, Zahra admits that she has to accept whatever her parents want. In addition, she also thought that it was not a bad choice because his mother had also married his father because of an arranged marriage. As she said: When I asked "why did she accept the match?", she replied that she simply wanted to make her parents happy, even though she had a boyfriend, although she found it hard to accept: The reason for Nadila's acceptance of the arranged marriage is quite different from the reasons of the other four women. Nadila married a year after she finished her undergraduate education. When she worked and found out that her parents chose a man for her, she felt lucky. First, because she got a man who has a job, and second, the man is more mature than her. Nadila admits that she is happy with her husband now; they do a lot of work together, although sometimes she still thinks about her former lover, whom she left because she married another man. In addition, Nadila also said that she left her boyfriend because she knew he was not as mature as her husband, and she wanted to live a family life with a more mature man, and, of course, with a man who is also financially secure. From Nadila's explanation, the point is that she accepted her parents' choice because it suited her choice, even though she had a boyfriend. From her point of view, her boyfriend still needs to try further to match the status of the man her parents chose. Moreover, she also admitted that her parents guaranteed that after she married the man, she would be employed in her husband's office. That is the fact, after getting married, Nadila worked together with her husband in the same office.

Their Feelings after Their Marriages
I always end interviews with this question: "How did you feel after getting married? How do you feel now?" Of the five women I interviewed, all four are happy and grateful to be married to the man who is now her husband. For example, as expressed by Zahra, that "Pada tahun pertama saya belum bisa menerima, tapi setahun terakhir ini, saya sudah menerima dan alhamdulillah, berbahagia." I translate this as "In the first year, I could not accept it, but this past year, I have accepted and alhamdulillah, I am happy." In addition, Nissa also said the same thing, she said, "Kalau saya ditanya perasaan sekarang, Alhamdulillah saya bahagia karena sudah dikaruniai satu orang anak laki-laki." I translate this as, "If I were asked how I feel now, Alhamdulillah, I am happy because I have been blessed with one son. laki-laki yang menjadi suami saya sekarang." I translate this as "I am happy to be married to the man who is my husband now." What is different is Fathma. Although I must admit that I did not ask Fathma the same question, the reason was that I knew, from her story, that she still could not accept the "arranged marriage" that her parents had decided. She said, "I hope to get a divorce one day." Because of his heavy story and experience, I dare not ask, "how are you feeling now?" I think that question will only peel the wound deeper. But of all the women I interviewed, only Fathma was unhappy with her marriage. Four out of five women who got married because of an "arranged marriage" I interviewed stated they were happy.
From this, I argue that love can be built and cultivated, although not everyone can do it. As long as the marriage takes place on the wishes of both parties concerned, in my opinion, love between the two can be cultivated and can be formed over time. But when marriage is not based on the wishes and agreements of both parties concerned, love will be difficult to build. Although aspects of religion work to legitimize, for example, in some cases, including in the case of Fathma, religion is the reason. Their marriage is destiny, and as religious and believer people, they have to accept it as a part of destiny in their life.

The Reasons Their Parents Matched Them
In another session, I asked five women I interviewed this question, From this, we can understand that young educated Muslim women struggle between traditional/local ideas of love (represented by their parents' point of view) and modern/contemporary (represented by their perspective). The perspective of these educated young Muslim women is largely shaped by the narratives of romantic love they get in education so that it is different from the perspective of their parents on romantic love. Moreover, in these cases, we can see the power relation worked between parents and children in terms of the way they choose and develop a romantic love. In some conditions, educated young Muslim women cannot negotiate it, but in other conditions, they can. These negotiations mean that the "gender project" is very fluid, and power relations have a role to play in this context.

Conclusion
Who would have thought that the love we call something natural and autonomous can mean something else, which can also mean social construction? The social construction meant here is that love can ultimately change and be shaped and built according to its social context. This can be seen from the results of this study, women who are arranged initially do not love the man who will be their husband, then they get married, and finally, love each other. Although, of course, not all women can experience the same love process. Everyone has their way of loving. Some women can adapt their feelings of love, meaning, if they are matched, they can love the man who becomes their husband; some cannot do such things. Therefore, it is essential to give everyone, especially women, the opportunity to make their own choices and agreements when asked to marry.
Furthermore, the results of this study also show that the phenomenon of arranged marriage that occurs among educated young Muslim women is largely based on aspects related to these three keywords: family system, religion, and economy. This can be seen in the reasons for the educated young Muslim women interviewed in the study. For example, some women accept an arranged marriage for destiny or religious reasons. For this reason, they assume that accepting their parents' decisions is a form of devotion to their parents and is religious. Another reason is the family system. Keeping the line of intimacy between families or maintaining the resources that have been the family's modality for a long time, the modalities meant here include social modalities. Another reason is economic interest. Parents tend to match their daughters to financially well-off men even though they are sometimes much older than their daughters. Andi Alfian This article also adds a new finding to research on the topic of gender and education, that arranged marriage does not only occur in societies with low levels of education or in women who have no education, but also occurs and is experienced by women who are studying in college.
In addition, arranged marriage cannot be seen as a purely conservative act because women who accept and make their own choices can live happily.
However, the practice of arranged marriage cannot be considered suitable for all women or groups because this practice is not necessarily desired and accepted by them.
Meanwhile, the postcolonial aspect of the arranged marriage phenomenon can be seen in the desire of these young educated Muslim women to live in a modern way. They were arranged, and they had a traditional love affair. Another aspect, for example, is the view of a romantic relationship, courtship, or dating. Some parents forbid their children to date because they are afraid that their children will be trapped in Western-style promiscuity. That kind of association is considered not following the noble values found in the local community or the local culture.