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Precious Babies: Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting after Infertility

Despite widespread social acceptance of children conceived by Assisted Reproductive Technologies (ARTs), there is little in the way of a simplified text that articulates the complex emotions experienced by those concerned. Precious Babies examines the long-term impact of infertility on life’s course, providing a practical resource from confirmation of pregnancy to the teenage years. The book frequently draws on professional opinion and qualitative research, whilst simplifying medical definitions. Whilst a large proportion of the text gives the impression of a ‘handbook of pregnancy,’ the greater part delivers an eloquent description of life after infertility, interspersed with personal accounts. The Foreword to Precious Babies, is written by Clare Lewis Jones, Chief Executive of Infertility Network UK, who gives a personal description of the emotional turmoil of infertility, likening its impact to that of bereavement. Clare concludes that in founding her family through adoption, the experience of infertility became a prerequisite to the acceptance process. Chapter I attempts to normalize pregnancy for women immersed in guilt after receiving a positive test; unable to indulge in pregnancy symptoms, and requiring others to highlight the positive changes they so frequently equated as negative after years of disappointment. Pregnancy testing becomes habitual − having previously been in tandem with regret − and many experience the inability to think rationally. Elation gives way to heightened anxiety and reduced worth; the period of time between testing and pregnancy scan being described as one of abandonment by fertility experts. Women crave normality, yet on referral to routine antenatal services, desire the reassurance of personal care. The question of who to tell and when, fear of upsetting others − in particular, if they had joined a patient support network − evades normality once again. At this point, Kate Brian highlights the immense practical and emotional support of ACEBabes, a support network for parents who have experienced in vitro fertilization (IVF). Chapter II draws on the heightened anxiety of potential lab mix-ups, which only become a focus when pregnancy becomes a reality. In addition, it appears that the painful and emotional journey of infertility leaves its imprint beyond pregnancy and childbirth. Women seem to adopt learned helplessness, a technical term used in human psychology where an individual has learned to behave helplessly in response to a painful or traumatic experience in their life − of which they perceived they had little, or no control − even when the opportunity of control was restored, through pregnancy. This chapter serves as a stark reminder that healthcare professionals should exercise every attempt to normalize the experience of pregnancy after ART and refrain from using the term high risk or complex, unless clinically indicated. Whilst healthcare professionals involved in the field of fertility advocate the use of patient support groups, very few appreciate the courageous step that patients pursue in forming friendships by a set of circumstances. Precious Babies describes in detail, the subsequent changing relationships that occur after confirmation of a positive result. Chapter III provides the reader with pragmatic, yet fundamental information about first trimester miscarriage; its signs, symptoms and potential causes and draws similarities with those of early viable pregnancies. It also covers the emotional and physical impact of the loss of one twin, providing a graphic account of grief, relief and frequent detachment from the surviving twin. This chapter, whilst addressing the practicalities of labour and childbirth, describes the effects of societal pressure on IVF mothers to be perfect parents, who, when expectations are not met, might be viewed or defined by their failure. Yet, Karin Hammarberg, of the University of Melbourne, endorses the emotions experienced by mothers of IVF children as universal and normal. Nevertheless, infertility can leave women with the legacy of vulnerability, and some might experience postnatal depression, although there is no evidence to suggest that women conceiving through ART are at greater risk. Chapter VII, which includes the complexities of a donor-conceived pregnancy, is particularly poignant. Kate Brian acknowledges that society has stigmatized parents of donor-conceived children; an aura of shame and secrecy associated with the first recorded case in 1884. Donor conception can lead to anxiety in the context of a parent’s inability to bond with their child, and the perception that it may be viewed as second best to genetic parenting. Whilst the role of nature and Human Fertility, 2012; 15(2): 107–108 © 2012 The British Fertitlity Society ISSN 1464-7273 print/ISSN 1742-8149 online DOI: 10.3109/14647273.2012.661983