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Exploring Intercultural Values From the Perspective of Western-asian Way of Life -a Study of Lilting Film-

People are not born with the genetic imprint of particular culture because it is the set of knowledge and behavior and the interpretation of both as habits acquired and learned by the members of society through interaction and socialization by using different media such as film. Lilting is a film that presents the issue of cultural value. It is a British drama that cultivate a vibrant dynamic between Western way of life and Asian stories. This qualitative descriptive research focused on the exploration of intercultural values from the perspective of Western-Asian Way of Life to find out the differences among British, Chinese and Indonesian culture. Data were obtained from audio visual material of lilting film and other documents, e.g. newspaper and journal about lilting film. The techniques of data analysis were done by watching, writing some notes, data reduction, data display, and drawing conclusion. The result shows that lilting contains some cultural knowledge especially the difference of western and Asian way of life, language used by England and China, cultural biases (ethnocentric, stereotype, discrimination and prejudice), people's perception about homosexual, the way people look at kissing in public place, the way to offer food, the way people speak up in direct conversation, the process of assimilation and acculturation to a new culture, the function of a professional translator, and the most important lesson of how difficult to communicate when we do not have little bit knowledge and information of other language and culture.

The expanding diversity of cultures, which is apt to change, dynamic and transformative, implies specific competences and capabilities for individuals to learn, re-learn, or unlearn towards the culture to enhance social harmony. Cultural diversity supports the idea that every person can make a unique and positive contribution to the larger society because of, rather than in spite of, their differences. Cultural diversity makes our notion and country become richer, stronger and better. People from diverse cultures bring language skills, new ways of thinking, and creative solutions to difficult problems and negotiating skills.
However, cultural diversity also has challenges. When discussing diversity, it is often difficult to avoid seeming to generalize about different types of people and such generalizations can seem similar to dangerous stereotypes. Stereotypes also can result other cultural biases, such as prejudice and discrimination. Lustig & Koester (2010) define stereotype as the information processing results in a simplification of the world, so that prior experiences are used as the basis for determining both the categories and the attributes of the events. Stereotype is standardized and simplified conceptions of groups based on some prior assumptions. Prejudice is an unfair and unreasonable opinion or feeling, especially when formed without enough thought or knowledge. The word prejudice is most commonly used to refer to a preconceived judgment toward a people or a person because of race, social class, gender, ethnicity, homelessness, age, disability, political beliefs, obesity, religion, sexual orientation or other personal characteristics. While discrimination as prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things, especially on the grounds of race, age, or sex. Discrimination is the actual behavior towards members of another group. Chen & Starosta (2000) examine cross-cultural competence as an umbrella concept that involves an individual's cognitive (awareness), affective (sensitivity), and behavioral abilities (adroitness) in the process of cross-cultural interactions. Bennett (2011) in his presentation at conference workshop also states that intercultural competence is a set of cognitive, affective, and behavioral skills and characteristics that support effective and appropriate interaction in a variety of cultural contexts. Based on definitions stated by experts and scholars above, intercultural competence refers to the ability to understand and effectively react to a different culture from one's own. It supplies individuals with the requisite knowledge, skills, abilities, and personal characteristics that allow them to perform pragmatically in culturally diverse situations.

Cultural Competence
The capability of deeply shifting cultural perspective and bridging behavior across cultural differences is most fully achieved when one maintains an adaptation perspective. Cultural competence is described as movement along a continuum that is based on the premise of respect and appreciation of individuals and cultural differences.
Hammer & Bennet (2009) create a model of cross cultural competence that is called The Intercultural Development Continuum (IDC). They state the IDC is a model of intercultural competence grounded in the Developmental Model of Intercultural Sensitivity (DMIS) originally proposed by Milton J. Bennett (1986Bennett ( , 1993 as an explanation of how people construe cultural differences. The ilustration of DMIS can be seen in figure 1. The above model as a developmental process in which one is able to transform oneself affectively, cognitively, and behaviorally from (Bennett, 1986)  Earlier stages of the continuum define the parochial denial of difference, the evaluative defense against difference, and the universalist position of minimization of difference. Later stages define the acceptance of difference, adaptation to difference, and the integration of difference into one's world view. The route of this transformation process can further described in the following explanation: a. Denial in which one denies the existence of cultural differences among people, b. Defense in which one attempts to protect one's world view by countering the perceived threat, c. Minimization in which one attempts to protect the core of one's world view by concealing differences in the shadow of cultural similarities, d. Acceptance in which one begins to accept the existence of behavioral differences and underlying cultural differences, e. Adaptation in which one becomes empathic to cultural differences and becomes bicultural or multicultural, f. Integration in which one is able to apply ethnorelativism to one's own identity and can experience "difference as an essential and joyful aspect of all life.

The Use of Film in the Intercultural Context
In recent years, the strongest achievements of popular art have been realized and produced in film. Film (Pegrum, 2008) is an ideal medium through which to exploit the tools offered by sociocultural of visual literacy and intercultural perspective. This exploration is suggested to take place with a full awareness of the transformational power of language learning because it can stimulate students exploration of their own identities and, on the other hand, help prepare them for global citizenship. Condon (1986) states Literature and film can enhance intercultural communication in two very important ways: one is by expressing the significance of certain relationships, values, communication styles, and so on that are representative of the culture being described. The other is by presenting intercultural issues themselves as the major theme of the film or literary work: acculturation and identity, inter-ethnic relations, and so on.
The content of film as an art form i which film has looked persistently at people. Nadaner (1981) classifies two important ways that the artistic characteristics of the film help it to provide adequate images for cultural understanding. First, the thoughtful use of the expressive aspects of film enables the film-maker to articulate subtleties of human experience and work against stereotypes. The second important attribute of film art for cultural understanding is its capacity to represent perception as an ongoing process: to show the perspective of another person not in a static way, but as he interacts with his social environment. Film-makers can show very directly how a character sees his world, through the way that they select images and arrange them in a rhythmic pattern over the course of a film.
All of the above opinions support the work of films that play an important role in bringing the cultural mission. Film displays a visual form that takes students into the the characters' feeling and feel the atmosphere that is not just imagined. So, students will more easily understand the elements of emerging culture and learn to overcome the problems that occur related to the issue of culture. What was disclosed by Condon (1986) below also supports the importance of film in interpreting the culture. In his study, Condon does not only focus his studies on film, but makes the film as part of a literary work. In his research study, Condon limits literature and film work compared to social science writing. Condon (1986) confirms that literature and film offer possibilities in the depiction and analysis of interpersonal relations that conventional social-science writing does not. Eventhought many of these possibilities may seem too obvious to mention, he would like to make clearly some to helps to clarify the limitations of social-science writing as much as it helps in identifying features of literature and film. The following differences are: a. Level of abstraction As already noted, there is usually a fundamental difference in the level of abstraction of novels, films and other artistic works and that of writing in the social sciences. The former is almost always about particular people at a particular time under conditions. But in this 'case studies', the purpose is to learn more about 'them', not about 'he' or 'she'.
b. Point of view The artist has the option of presenting a work from any of several points of view. Much literature and film enter into the thoughts and feelings of the characters. We are privy to dreams, to fears, to frustrations, to the weighing of matters in order to make decisions, so we are given a look at the world through their eyes. But, the hallmark of science is to present one's standpoint so clearly that in principle, at least another person should be able to stand in the same place and make comparable observations. c. Access Literature and film are public expressions in the way that most social science writing is not. Scholarly writing usually is characterized by its own style which is likely to be confused with any familiar spoken idiom except that spoken at professional meetings. There are also references to other scholars and journals and theories which serve as gates to admit or shut out readers. It is caused because scholars may want to discourage the public from using certain terms because, as the usage becomes more widespread, the initially intended meaning may become blunted or altered.
d. Taking a stand Taking stand means to express one's opinion and it is time for you to take a stand and tell them that things need to change.
Thomas Kochman, who has studied North American Black-White communication for many years, has indicated that one difference between black and white students in a classroom, at least-is that blacks are more likely to want people to take a personal stand on what they believe and feel. For white students is 'right' just to state what the experts say. Should a black student press a white student to state his or her own personal feeling about a subject, the white student may feel put upon. "Don't ask me; I'm just quoting what the experts say." The black student feels that the white student is being evasive or insincere, while the white student feels that the black student is being threatening.
Social-science literature usually conforms to the description of the white student's behavior: "I'm just drawing conclusions from the facts, so don't inquire about my personal views unless you can show that these have interfered with what I present." Literature follows what Kockman describes as being representative of North American urban blacks, in that it demands that the spokesperson take a stand.

Research design
The study of this research used a descriptive qualitative method. According to Lambert& Lambert (2012), qualitative descriptive studies tend to draw from naturalistic inquiry, which purports a commitment to studying something in its natural state to the extent that is possible within the context of the research arena. Thus, there is no pre-selection of study variables, no manipulation of variables, and no prior commitment to anyone theoretical view of a target phenomenon. By applying this research method, the researcher describes, interprets and explores the intercultural value of three countries; England, China and Indonesia.

Data resources
The source of the data in this research is classified into two, namely primary and secondary data sources. The primary data source of the study is the film of lilting and the secondary data sources are biography of the author namely Hong Khaou, websites in the internet about Lilting, and other resources which support to analyze.

Technique of Data Collection
During the process of the research, the researcher studies audio visual material, namely lilting film itself. In addition, the researcher studies documents, e.g newpaper and journal related to lilting film. While watching the film, the rearcher focuses her attention to the verbal and noverbal communication of characters to identify the emerging cultures. According to Pratiwi Cresweel (2014), there are three advantages of studying audio-visual material; (i) may be an unobstrusive method of collecting data, (ii) provides an opportunity for participants to directly share their reality, and (iii) it is creative in that it captures attention visually.

Instruments
The main instrument in qualitative research is the researcher herself. Human instrument functions to establish the focus of research, selecting informants as data sources, collecting data, assessing data quality, analyzing data, interpreting data and making conclusions on the findings (Sugiyono, 2016). The other instruments used to help the researcher in collecting the data are movie player and field notes.

Technique of Data Analysis
Miles & Huberman (1994) argued that activity in qualitative data analysis is done interactively and continuously to complete, so the data is saturated. After collecting the data, there are three activities in the analysis of the data; (1) data reduction, data display, and conclusion drawing / verification. Data reduction refers to omitting irrelevant data and taking the needed data. In data display, the researcher organized and compressed the information from the data reduction. Lastly, conclusion was drawn and verified referring to the interpretation of the researcher about the data and the conclusion (cited in Sugiyono, 2016).
The content analysis technique that applied by the researcher to analyze the raw data in the form of film, namely organize and prepare the data for analysis, watch the movie, make some notes related to the culture issue. After that, the researcher read or look at all the whole data have been noted and transcribed, start coding all of the data, use the coding process to interrelate between theme and subtheme, and advance how the subtheme and themes will be represented in the qualitative descriptive and a final step in data analysis involves making an interpretation about culture in qualitative research of the findings or results by taking a conclusion of what the lessons have been learned by conducting this research study.

Findings
Basically in a lilting, the writer or director worked on stories about gay and human relationships. But, it does not directly adress the issue of sexuality and gay. It focuses more on the difficulties involved in bilingual comunication and culture assimilation. In relation to others, certainly in this case human beings as subjects in the face of various challenges including cultural challenges and challenges in maintaining good relations with other people. Lilting is a movie that is weaving a complex disquisition on mourning, memory, love, resentful, language, race, culture, masculinity, etc.
In this story, the director tries to cultivate a vibrant dynamic between Western way of life and Asian stories. Eventhough, there are many prominent differences are found between Western and Asian way of life. Then if it is traced deeper, the cultures of countries located in the same region of Asia, such as China and Indonesia, also have many differences e.g people's perception about homosexual and LGBT, the way they look at kissing at public place, the way they offer food and drink, the way they frying, the way they speak up in direct conversation, the process of their assimilation and acculturation to a new culture, etc.

Discussion
The discussion contains description of the characters, the synopsis of film, and the exploration of intercultural value.
a. Characters Lilting is one of film whose actress and actors are able to portray the characters well in accordance with the reality of life. There are six characters involved in this film, they are Richard, Junn, Kai, Vann, Aan, Margaret. (i) Richard is a British gay man who is in a stable relationship with Junn's son, Kai. He speaks English but he is deeply influenced by Chinese culture. He really also committed to Junn's well being, (ii) Junn is a Cambodian Chinese woman who has immigrated to England twenty-nine years ago but she has not assimilated to the western way of life. She is Kai's mother and she speaks Chinese, (iii) Kai is Junn's son as secondgeneration immigrant of China who has grown up in England and he is very much westernized Pratiwi because he does not speak Chinese fluently and no particular preference for Chinese culture, (iv) Vann is a second-generation immigrant of China who masters both English and Chinese language but she is very westernized. She is hired by Richard to be translator for Junn and Alan, (v) Alan is a British white skin man who admires Junn for her oriental beauty and sends flower every day then they make romantic relationship in retirement home, and (vi) Margaret is a retirement home's organizer and she carries out for Junn's necessary. b. Synopsis This film centers on the relationship between Junn, a Cambodian Chinese woman who has immigrated to England twenty-nine years ago, and Richard, a British gay man who is in a stable relationship with Junn's son, Kai. Because Junn suffers from memory loss, Kai places her in a retirement home against her wish. Junn knows that her son lives with an intimate friend, but she is either unaware or in denial of the homosexual nature of this relationship. Believing that Richard is the reason that she could not live with her son, Junn resents him bitterly. Even though, Kai always comes to visit his mother and makes conversation with his mother, then makes his unstable mother's heart a little calm, but sometimes also makes his mother to be sad like forgot to bring a song CD that has been ordered 4 times.
When Kai comes, they talk many things like race and sexuality. They converse in Chinese language. One day Junn happily tells Kai about her new romantic interest with Alan, a British white skin man. Junn says that this charming man brings her flower everyday and sees her as exotic oriental beauty but they are difficult in communication. Junn speaks Chinese while Alan speaks English. Then Kai hazily his mother by remembering this man is English, he is different with his father who has a half white skin and he is complete Chinese. All of a sudden, a stren expression appears in Junn's face. It makes Junn's expression totally change. Kai really knows that Junn resents white man and the culture. The conversation occurs enjoyably in Junn's bed room at retirement home for a long time and terminated when Margaret knocks the door. Then, the scene from Junn's bedroom moves to the Kai's bedroom.
The topic discussed between Richard and Kai just about Junn, Kai's mother. Richard always watches Kai with deep sadness in his eyes. Richard sometimes kisses, caress, and hugs Kai to muffle his sadness. In this bedroom scene, they lie and converse about how to deal with Junn. Richard suggests that they should invite Junn for dinner and prepare Chinese cooking and then Kai adds to suggest that Richard should leave the house and take a walk while he talks with his mother. Even though feeling perforce, Richard agrees to do that but Kai still not sure it will be successful.
In the afternoon Kai decides to come out to Junn to pick her up to his house, but suddenly he is hit by a truck and dies. The story unfolds after this event, though flashbacks, some of which are imaginary and they are woven into the narrative. There is only sadness in Richard and Junn's life. They mourned because of Kai's death . Then Richard attempts to understand and reconcile with Junn, with the hope of inviting her to live with him eventually. Richard is really committed to Junn's well-being. When, in his effort to assuage his own conscience, Kai rationalizes that the retirement home he selects has the same decor from half-a-century ago and, therefore, is very suitable for his mother, Richard points out that Junn is not British woman and the retirement home is unlikely to have the Cambodian decor with which she is familiar. When Kai is still alive, Richard prompts him several times to invite Junn to their house. After Kai passes away, he pays for the accommodation fees at the upper-scale retirement home. He hires Vann, a second-generation immigrant of China, to translate for Junn and her romantic interest, Alan, at the retirement home. Vann also facilitates the communication between Junn and Richard with the hope that Junn would eventually warm up to him and come to live with him. Vann never develops an attachment to Junn, even though they are both Chinese and speak the same language. She involves herself in the whole situation as a hired interpreter. She once intrudes herself into the conversation (something an interpreter should not do), because she thinks that Junn is not appreciative of the efforts that Richard has been making. She confronts and criticizes Junn severely and causes a serious outburst on the latter's part.
Some efforts have been tried by Richard and Vann to facilitate the conversation and to keep the relationship beween Junn and Alan, for instance they facilitate romantic dinner between Alan and Junn by preparing Chinese cooking. And tomorrow morning they facilitate conversation Alan and Junn about like and dislike. They talk each other then Vann translate the conversation while laughing because it seems funny. After knowing what Alan dislike from Junn, Pratiwi she decides to end their romantic relationship. Richard always tries to convince Kai's mother till the end of this story Junn comes to Kai's house and she feels sad again when entering Kai's bed room, but suddenly is suprised when seeing Richard fries bacon with chopsticks. At that moment, Richard remarks that he could not even imagine frying bacon with anything else. Therefore, as a white man living in England, Richard has voluntarily assimilated his self into the Asian culture, even though the Asian young people in this film have sufficiently whitened themselves (adapted from Cheng, 2016).
c. Intercultural value Lilting contains some aspects and intercultural values such as bilingual communications, cultural assimilation, sexual orientation, low and high context culture, etc that will be described below.
a) Culture and Language Each culture has its own patterns as a standard for society of what is acceptable behavior. Culture is unique; and as what has been explained before diversity of culture has many advantages such as make our notion and country become richer, stronger and better. But, we have to be careful with cultural biases. In this film, the researcher found some cultural biases, they are: 1) Ethnocentrism Ethnocentrism is a learned belief in cultural superiority. Ethnocentrism (Bennet 1986) consists of denial of, defense from, minimization of cultural differences. Denial in which one denies the existence of cultural differences among people; Defense in which one attempts to protect one's world view by countering the perceived threat; and Minimization in which one attempts to protect the core of one's world view by concealing differences in the shadow of cultural similarities.
Lilting shows us about a Cambodian Chinese mother who has not assimilated to the Western way of life even though she has migrated to England twenty-nine years ago. She speaks Chinese and does not want to learn English (Denial of). She defends Asian culture in the middle of Western life (Defense from). Then, she constantly corrects her son's influent and accented Chinese and demonstrating her dissatisfaction at her only child being influenced by white society. She is unhappy with any mispronounced intonation (Minimization).
2) Stereotype, Prejudice and Discrimination Junn always thought that others culture are not good and suitable for her (stereotype). Prejudice occurs when Junn breaks her romantic relationship with Alan just because of very basic reason, they are different in culture and language and it may result negative impact in the next day. And then, she does not want to make a closer relationship to other cultures like a British white skin man (discrimination).
3) Ethnorelativism The term ethnorelativism, according to Bennet (2011), in which our own culture is viewed in the context of other cultures. It is the process of begin to accept, adapt and integrate to different culture. Richard is a British man who has been deeply influenced by the Chinese culture. He shows a more genuine and affectionate interest in Junn than anyone. He actually leans more toward the Chinese family structure than Kai. He is good at Chinese cooking and he always fries bacon with chopsticks. Eventhough he could not speak Chinese.
In general most of people are frying by using a spatula and eat by using spoon such Indonesia and England culture. Unlike the Chinese people who are shown in the film in which they expertly fry and eat by using chopsticks.
Discussing about ethnocentrism and ethnorelativism the different attitude happen to the two second generation immigrants, Kai and Vann, who have grown up in England and very much westernized (such us unquestioning acceptance of homosexuality). Kai does not speak fluent Chinese. They adopt western values and demonstrate no particular preference for, or even interest in, Chinese culture. They have largely assimilated themselves into the English society.
Investigating about culture and language generally, lilting presents a kind of mutual assimilation of culture and language, how the minority tries to assimilate or refuses to assimilate, or how the majority perceives the minority. The cases faced by Junn make her be difficult to communicate with people around her. Especially after Kai's death, it makes Junn sadder and feels alone. Pratiwi The film shows that the emptiness can occur in real-life of human beings such as in Indonesia, China and England. It teaches us about little bit information of culture and language is very important before coming to one place. It will make someone be easier to communicate. b) Culture and Sexual Orientation Talking about Western way of life, gayness has been a cornerstone of the whole film, but it is being gradually undercut, the director does not really try to cultivate their gayness. Neither Kai nor Richard exhibits any cultural cliches that are associated with homosexual. Aside from the bedroom scenes, there is no trace suggests that they are in any sense marginalized or differentialized. They do not socialized with gay friends neither do their experience micro aggressions from other people. Basically, homo sexuality in this film only support the focus of the story about intercultural communication. A storyline may will change if Richard is not a gayman.
Same-sex marriage (gay/ LGBT) is increasingly being legalized in the Western world, as a form of acknowledgement that humans of any sexual orientation have the right to find happiness (Arivia & Gina, 2016). Eventhough, in the Indonesian Criminal Code (KUHP), a homosexual person is not viewed as a criminal, but the issues are considered taboo (Muthmainnah, 2016) in Indonesia and some areas in Asia. Sexuality in any form is rarely talked openly. Our cultures do not approve homosexuality, no legal protection is made to protect LGBT rights in Indonesia.
The identical case occur to Junn and Alan. When they talk about habitual each other, Junn stated what she dislike that Alan always pinch her butt. This may be a common thing for western culture but it is a taboo in Asian culture especially china and Indonesia. But if talking about kissing, when we compare Indonesian culture with China and England, in this film it seems Chinese and British assume the usual thing when kissing in public place and they do not be shy to tell to other people. c) High Context vs Low Context Culture A unique one we also find when Alan directly reveal the things that are not preferred from Junn is the smell of garlic breath. It seems Junn offended by Alan's sentences because Asian culture especially Chinese and Indonesian people have a high context culture that we tends to use high communication and uses implicit references and indirect speech. Unlike the western culture that embraces low context culture that they use explicit codes of speech or direct speech (Hall, 1976;Hofstede 2002;Lustig & Koester, 2010).
Discussing about high context and low context, one example the researcher would like to express here is on how to offer food and drinks to guests. In western culture, they ask what food or drink the guests want and then they serve their order. While in Indonesia, people do not ask what they want but instead serve directly as supplies.
On the other side of the cultural differences have been analyzed above, the researcher also find some Indonesia, China and Western cultures that may be almost the same, for example people would say sorry if they accidentally ask or remind others the sad things. In addition, it is found the positive cultural value when talking with others someone should not use a high voice to avoid offense. d) Masculinity and Powerful Description Now the research study will turn the attention to how masculinity is portrayed here. The discussion of masculinity becomes more defined in a sexual context. In Lilting, Richard and Kai have two bedroom scenes, both of which are flashbacks. In these scenes, both men do not wear clothes, their chest and stomach are naked, but they wear blanket in some parts of their body; they lie and converse about how to deal with Junn. There are gentle and intimate caresses and kisses, but there is no indication that they are leading to more active sexual activities, such as penetration. This part is apparently imaginary; which is from Richard's memory, he watches Kai with deep sadness in his eyes, then they hug each other. Then Richard suggests that they should invite Junn for dinner, while playing with Kai's nipple. Next, Richard climbs on top of Kai and they start to kiss each other. Then Kai narrates the consequences of inviting Junn, such as Richard's having to stay in the spare room and pretending to be his friend. Richard suggests that Kai should come out to his mother, so that Junn could live with them and Kai does not need to feel guilty about putting his mother in sheltered accommodation.
The second bedroom scene begins with Richard pulling a hair off Kai's nipple. This time, Kai tells Richard that he is going to invite Junn to their house in order to come out to her. He tried to Pratiwi do so yesterday, but lost courage in the end. However, Richard is obviously pleased by Kai's making this attempt then again expresses his concerns about Junn's reaction, and says that Richard probably has to live at a hotel, if Junn does not accept the situation. Kai feels increasingly nervous and the deep sadness returns and tears are welling up. Present and past are merging at this point of view. These two scenes portray the relationship between Richard and Kai in an interesting way. First of all, both scenes are shot from the perspective of Richard. When the camera stays on Kai, we see Kai from Richard's angle. However, when the camera moves into Richard, it does not follow Kai's point of view; instead, we see Richard from the perspective of a third person. By this point of view, it can be concluded that Richard occupies the center of the frame because because he is still alive and he is someone who is grieving. The camera which focuses more on Richard's perception could probably be explained by the fact that these two scenes are a mixture of reality and fiction; Richard is trying to reconstruct the detail intimacy with Kai from the past as well as his imagination. Kai, in contrast, straddles reality and illusion.
Based on the bedroom scene, when they do intimate activities, like touching, kissing, caressing and hugging, Richard always starts to begin. This scene also shows when Kai is lying on the bed, Richard is sitting across him (although no sexual intercourse occurs, it is Richard who climbs on top of Kai). This position allows Richard a vantage point that is traditionally associated with power and dominance. In researcher's point of view, this position is symbolic and implies that Richard is the top in this relationship, hence more powerful and more masculine.
However, this impression is contradicted by the dialogues in both scenes. Although Richard is more active, he is assigned to a secondary position in the conversation. This fact is significant, when we remember that the conversations, which are reconstructed by Richard, are partially fictitious. When Kai starts to talk about his mother, he makes that suggestion that they invite Junn to visit them for dinner, so that he could impress her with his dinner. To this suggestion, Kai answers rather cavalierly, saying that Junn will not be impressed, as she would not consider anyone good enough for her single child. In the second scene, the same conversation pattern is repeated. When the conversation touches upon Kai's relationship with his mother, Richard becomes very passive and timid. Kai tells Richards that Junn resents him. This time, Kai is determined to invite Junn over so that he would come out to her. This information obviously delights Richard, but he again is hurt when Kai still insists that Richard should leave the house during the visit. This sense of exclusion causes Richard a lot of pain, which is compounded, when Kai, again jokingly, indicates that Richard needs to stay at a hotel, should Junn decide not to accept the situation.
Based on these two conversations, it can be conclude that Kai occupies the dominant role. The conversation is almost always centered on him, and he solely determines its direction as well as tone. Richard could only make tentative suggestions and passively respond to Kai's answers.
The bedroom scenes potray a dynamic relationship between Richard and kai. Richard is seen more physically active, but Kai dominates the conversation. It would be difficult to say which one has more power because the power is unevenly. It seems that power flows from one person to the other. Neither Richard nor Kai wields and exploits it and masculinity flows between two. Lilting does not construct that Asian masculinity is powerful than Englishman, and vice versa.

E. Conclusion
Lilting is a British drama which cultivates a vibrant dynamic between Western way of life and Asian stories. The issues are coming from a Chinese background and growing up in England. Lilting does not directly adress the issue of sexuality and gay but it focuses more on the bilingual comunication and culture assimilation which is weaving a complex disquisition on mourning, memory, love, resentful, language, race, culture, masculinity, etc.
Lilting is very recommended as the media for learning language and culture because to be watched because by watching this movie we can get new information and understanding more about the differences of Western and Asian way of life, language used by both countries (England and China), cultural biases (ethnocentric, stereotype, discrimination and prejudice), etnorelativism attitude, the issue of guyness, how difficult to communicate when we do not have