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A Death in the Family.

One Sunday in early 2017, my anesthesia coresident Will (not his real name) was brought to the emergency department of our hospital unresponsive. He was quickly triaged, intubated, and transferred to the intensive care unit (ICU), where a hypothermia protocol was initiated. I couldn't visit Will for two days. Those days came like rust, slow and hard. I went to see him with another resident. We met Will’s family for the first time under the worst of circumstances. I went expecting to offer comfort, prayers, and time. Instead, Will’s family gave me comfort, prayers, and all the time I needed. The ICU is a place anesthesia residents visit daily, no more worrisome than the hospital cafeteria. However, standing in Will’s room, I felt out of place and vulnerable. I wasn’t a physician here, and Will wasn’t my patient. This was my friend and I was a visitor. Years of anesthesia training will never prepare you for the moment when you see a loved one intubated. In that moment, it all seemed new to me: the intravenous (IV) infusions, the ventilator, the electroencephalogram (EEG) leads stuck to Will’s head like a skullcap.