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An observational model for vampire slaying in Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Scientifically guiding the next generation of slayers

The American television series Buffy the Vampire Slayer (“BtVS”, 1997-2003) has been the subject of extensive literary analysis, largely due to its use of demon-slaying as a metaphor for real-life conflict. Interestingly, exploring these themes throughout 100+ hours of television has also produced a large set of observational data that gives insight into the nature of vampires within the in-show universe (“Buffyverse”). Here, we build a framework for vampire slaying that suggests a dependency on the blockage of calcium channels in smooth, skeletal, and cardiac muscle. We then utilize this model to predict a new means for slaying vampires: a laser pointer with a wavelength under 330nm. We hope that our investigation provides new perspectives for the continued analysis of BtVS, encourages quantitative analyses for other literary works, and helps decrease the death-toll of vampire-related deaths in future BtVS works.