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Death in children’s lives

T bereaved children. Phyllis Silverman knows that the real experts on the meaning and impact of death in children’s lives are the grieving children. For too long their needs and feelings have been ignored: more recently, they have been studied, researched and clinicised, but rarely have they been heard. Silverman listens, and writes as their advocate using, whenever possible, their own words.The strength and power of her book comes from her empathy with the children and her delightful gift of presenting their stories and responses and those of their parents. The book opens with a wonderful range and satisfying depth of theoretical material, using results from the HarvardlMGH Child Bereavement Study, on which the author was a co-principal investigator with William Worden. The next section, ‘Stories people tell’, covers the death of parents, siblings, friends and other key people in a child’s life, as well as the emotional care of children before a death, and feelings and responses of dying children and their parents. One (very tiny) quibble about this last chapter is that it is mainly the parents who speak about the dying and death of their child, and this slightly jars with the tone of the rest of the book. Finally there is a thoughtful and thorough exploration of key themes in working with bereaved children, themes that we have also identified in our work at Winston’s Wish.These include information t o help children and families understand the meaning of death for them, the importance of remembering the person who has died, and encouragement t o explore, express and share feelings within the family and with others who have had a similar experience. Never Too Young To Know is highly accessible, frequently touching, always engaging. It will be of great value t o those who work with children, both professionals and other concerned adults. As a practitioner, trainer and also as a parent, I am very glad t o add it to my bookshelf.