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Family sociological theories questioned: Same-sex parent families sharing work and care

The rapid progress in the legal recognition of same-sex couples that has occurred in recent decades has contributed to an increase in the number of children brought up in these families. Together with the legitimisation of same-sex unions in many European countries, several pathways to parenthood for these couples have emerged, including co-adoption, second-parent adoption, donor insemination, in-vitro fertilisation (IVF), and surrogacy. While these legal developments indicate that levels of acceptance of LGBTQI1 families have been rising, this progress has not been universal. As of May 2019, same-sex parenthood was not yet legally recognised – i.e., same-sex couples were not permitted to adopt or to access medically assisted insemination (MAI) – in a number of European countries, including the Czech Republic, Italy, Lithuania, and Poland (ILGA-Europe 2019). Moreover, in February 2019, the Dutch National Healthcare Institute demonstrated that earned rights are also reversible by announcing that health insurance providers are no longer required to cover the cost of artificial insemination for female same-sex couples, and that only couples with a medical condition associated with infertility will be covered (National Healthcare Institute 2019a). In response to pressure from activists and interest groups, this measure was put on hold pending the outcome of further deliberations in 2020 (National Healthcare Institute 2019b). In this chapter, we focus on the Netherlands and the bigger Nordic countries of Sweden, Norway, Denmark, and Finland. These countries were international leaders in the legalisation of same-sex union formation, marriage, and parenthood. However, as much of the literature on same-sex couples stems from the United States (US), we discuss studies conducted in the US (and in other countries) that report patterns, experiences, and narratives that may be applicable to couples across contexts. The aim of this chapter is to critically evaluate and discuss family sociological theories and perspectives from the point of view of same-sex couples and families. We also discuss the legal developments for same-sex marriage and parenthood in the countries in our study sample. In particular, we discuss how, when, and why the experiences of same-sex parent families challenge traditional family sociological theories. Focusing on the division of paid and unpaid work, and care, our two main questions are as follows: First, to what extent do – often supposedly gender-neutral – theories hold when the family being studied is not a heterosexual, nuclear family? Second, where does the inclusion of same-sex families leave us when it comes to formulating a family sociology for the future? Before we start, it is important to clarify our terminology. When we refer to same-sex, lesbian, and gay couples or parents, we base the categorisation on individuals’ (or their partners’) reports of their sex in surveys or interviews, or the sex reported in population registers. This definition does not necessarily correspond with individuals’ sexual identity or experience