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The entwined narratives of the wounded healer

ABSTRACT Our images of cancer in the popular media are bifurcated; the patient envisioned as either a healthy active survivor often wearing a ribbon designating the cancer in question, or as an ill and wasting victim. The personal cancer journey is never that simple. For a psychotherapist returning to work in psycho-oncology groups, after her own diagnosis of cancer, it is difficult to find a unifying narrative of her experience. Am I a patient or a professional? Am I broken or stronger? Just as clients struggle to own the totality of their situation (hero or sickly, brave or terrified), we must allow ourselves the fullness of the cancer experience. Too often we are told explicitly or implicitly, to be positive, don’t be negative, be a hero for me. Group work, on the other hand, is about authenticity and the permission to feel the fullness of the moment, whether it is sad and grief filled, joyous and optimistic or anything in between. It has taken time for me to intertwine my two narratives and I have been changed as a therapist by coping with two different cancers and then entering the hard work of personal therapy and developing a devotion to self-care.