don't want wedding gifts - how to word invite?

(35 Posts)
whattodoo Sat 12-Oct-13 10:45:58

We've been together yonks. I've been married before.
This is going to be a low-key informal 'do' on a budget.

We don't want gifts, although I understand some (grandmas etc) may still want to give something.

We've thought about suggesting our guests give to charity, but that seems a bit haphazard if we don't nominate a specific charity. And I could honestly name dozens that I'd want to suggest.

So, what should we out on the invites to let people know that we honestly don't want them to spend their money needlessly?

1974rach Sun 17-Nov-13 15:16:12

Got the same problem... although its a nice problem to have.

OH and I were stunned when we got engaged at the amount of lovely presents we recived. We weren't expecting anything and we we're really touched.

I love the idea of the oxfam gift list or asking people to make a donation to a charity of their choice.

ZingWantsGin Sat 09-Nov-13 15:38:09

"Don't give us a gift
if you do, you're a git
come looking fit
that will be it."

how's that?grin

MorrisZapp Sat 12-Oct-13 22:55:10

Oh no, she expects a gift. It is law. By saying there's nothing she needs, she means the ball is in my court.

And until she got ill, she always bought me a gift.

Rotterwallah Sat 12-Oct-13 22:51:14

Why can't people just buy actual nice presents? I'd be thrilled to have nice gifts, things that people who know and love us thought it'd be nice to buy us , but I accept I'm unusual and have been waiting for 15 years for a fecking weddi g

Nerfmother Sat 12-Oct-13 22:50:42

Please don't bring a gift; we would however welcome a card for our scrapbook.

Mogz Sat 12-Oct-13 22:43:49

Glad to help smile

whattodoo Sat 12-Oct-13 19:37:46

I love the "in lieu of gifts please consider a donation to the charity of your choice" suggestion.

Thanks all.

AuntieStella Sat 12-Oct-13 13:53:00

Don't say anything on the invitation.

If anyone asks, explain and offer the names of your preferred charities.

If you have a nice gossipy family member (one each side), make sure you tell them and they'll help spread the word for you.

melliebobs Sat 12-Oct-13 13:45:48

Just don't mention anything about gifts at all? If someone gets u something fantastic n for the rest the pressure is off! But no poems. Never a poem grin

specialsubject Sat 12-Oct-13 13:44:02

nothing wrong with puns, it is clearly miserable day here today.

I like the idea of saying what you've said. 'we've been together ages and are lucky enough to have all we need. Please no gifts - if you wish to mark the occasion, please donate to a charity of your choice'.

Morriss what I don't understand is why you don't just respect your grandma's wishes and not buy her a present? confused

She has told you she needs nothing. To me that would mean you don't have to buy here anything.

We are going to ask people to bring a bottle or a pudding instead of presents.

Sammie101 Sat 12-Oct-13 11:19:13

For my grandparents anniversary party they put on their invites "no presents, just your presence", I thought that was a nice way to actual word it smile

Hassled Sat 12-Oct-13 11:16:22

We solved this by setting up an Oxfam wedding wish list. And it worked really well - people felt they were getting us something, which was very important to the older relatives, and we didn't feel we were taking the piss, IYSWIM.

flaquark Sat 12-Oct-13 11:16:12

My Grandmother told me I wasnt allowed to put 'No gifts' on our invites because it pressumes that otherwise we would expect gifts.
So under her very watchful eye we had to not put anything, didnt have a gift list and when people asked just said we didnt want anything

TobyLerone Sat 12-Oct-13 11:15:25

"In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to a charity of your choice" is great.

MorrisZapp Sat 12-Oct-13 11:14:30

Ok can I get this off my chest. My dear old gran, who I love to bits, is a fucking nightmare to buy presents for. Every birthday and Christmas its the same. You ask her what she would like, she says 'i don't know. I don't need anything' so you say ok, but is there anything you'd like? Cue look of bewilderment and slight upset.

Ok, have it your way granny. Yet again I will have to spend ages trying to get inside your brain and think of things you might like that you can't name yourself. You won't like them, or use them. You never do. But you'll be achingly polite and say 'thank you dear' when you open the pointless, wasted gift.

If there really is no object on this planet that would please you in any way, could you think maybe of a charity donation? Or even better, could you suggest that we drop this agony once and for all and stop buying each other gifts? I always like the cards you send, and I enjoy choosing cards for you.

Coyldnt we just do cards?


Mogz Sat 12-Oct-13 11:13:29

We put on the back page of our invites, next to the dress code and other small bits of boring info, the following;
In lieu of gifts please consider a donation to your charity of choice or to our church.
We still got some people giving physical gifts, which were really lovely, but mostly people ended up giving us cards with a little note in saying who they donated to. It was lovely knowing how our friends and family had all helped the wider world that day.

CallMeNancy Sat 12-Oct-13 11:12:42

Sorry Toby, missed that you'd already said that about no gifts.
Randy's suggestion is probably best & doesn't use the pun smile

CallMeNancy Sat 12-Oct-13 11:09:46

At least the presence/presents pun is short, succinct, and not a rhyme. It is very clear.
'No gifts' could suggest to some the even more awful 'no boxed gifts' leading some to believe that you are grasping asking for money rather than objects

MorrisZapp Sat 12-Oct-13 11:07:32

What Toby said. Toe curlingly awful.

TobyLerone Sat 12-Oct-13 11:04:46

Please don't do a presents/presence pun. It's awful.

MorrisZapp Sat 12-Oct-13 11:01:22

I think saying you don't need anything is a bit rubbish, as you leave people wondering if they should buy you something personal/ luxurious etc. If you don't want a gift, say please don't get us anything.

All this dancing, posturing and pretending that is expected on both sides at weddings is exactly what makes it stressful. All guests want is to be advised what to do.

lljkk Sat 12-Oct-13 11:00:36

If you dont' specify a wedding list or alternative people will give lots of cash.

MillyONaire Sat 12-Oct-13 10:59:03

Our present will be your presence

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