to not have realised that so much of childhood would be taken up by illness?

(108 Posts)
toomuchillness Tue 18-Mar-14 10:35:21

Before I had DC, I knew that obviously DC would be ill at times but I genuinely didn't realise how much of their time they would spend in illness. I have one at school and one at nursery. Their noses seem to run for 6-7 months at a time virtually constantly from September to when the weather starts to get warmer. Colds, chest infections, conjunctivitis, diarrhoea, vomiting, molluscum contagiousm, chicken pox, coughs which last for a month a time - it just doesn't seem to end sad

Everyone says it will get better when they get older. The annoying thing is I end up catching quite a few of the illnesses too

HobbetInTheHeadlights Wed 19-Mar-14 12:40:43

Being young and at a nursery and school environment - obviously that going to major source of infection and therefore explanation. If you've moved in last few years to new area then IME also tend to much more illness in family as well.

Constant coughs and colds - could be an allergy to mold spores. I was that DC and later developed hay fever and much laster asthma where GP said given time of year mold spores - Sep onwards were likely thing that tipped me over. My DC that was diagnosed with asthma was similar with constant colds.

High mold count are found in houses that have damp washing in - a constant when DC were young for us - can only really air the house.

Only time chest infections were common among us - were when we lived in a very damp mold ridden house - improved upon moving.

I have tried magnesium and zinc supplement as - found some limited research showing being low associated with asthma in small studies but also in frequency of colds. TBH the foods were were eating were low in them but only took minor tweaking to change that.

D & V some years with DC are worse - corresponding to years at school being bad - just bugs going round. conjunctivitis they just seemed to stop getting as they got older.

cory Wed 19-Mar-14 11:36:36

True, Martorana.

Except for dd's joint disorder, which I hadn't missed, nor in the end did the rheumatology clinic. But the school spent several years trying to convince dd that she was making a fuss about nothing- because if they couldn't see anything clearly there couldn't be anything there.

I had to endure countless talks from other parents about how I should make her walk because they would never stand for that kind of nonsense and the benefits of this approach were proved by that their children being perfectly healthy. Particularly from my SIL who had a very robust and healthy child a year younger than dd.

Particularly bad in the years before dd was diagnosed, when I had nothing to go on except my mother's instinct that there was actually something wrong with this particular child.

The horrible thing was that I did actually give in to that kind of pressure and make dd do things that I knew were beyond her. We had several serious accidents and, as I said, there is some evidence that her body was permanently damaged by overstrain. All because I could not bear the thought of not belonging to that happy category of cheery no-nonsense parents.

Which brings me back to my point that there is no substitute for knowing your own individual child.

Not least because the same cheery no-nonsense approach that was so disastrous with dd has proved just right for ds.

Martorana Wed 19-Mar-14 11:04:26

But Cory- even the most vigilant parent would have missed most of those!

cory Wed 19-Mar-14 10:04:51

Martorana Tue 18-Mar-14 20:37:22
"I would notice if my child had German measles, concussion, dilirium or was the colour of Kermit! "

If the spots were not in a highly visible place and they kept out of your way as much as possible, if they did not tell you for several hours that they were seeing everything double, or if they did not inform you of the voices in their head because they were afraid you'd think they were going mad, you might not.

A friend's ds (infant school age) did not tell his teacher that he had banged his head at lunchtime and only asked his dad at bedtime why he had two noses! Concussion.

As for me, I sat through the whole first act of La Boheme without realising that dd was hallucinating next to me (toxins from totally unsuspected kidney infection- she had no other symptoms but was very ill).

Otoh one of my brothers would make a massive fuss about the slightest sniffle; if you listened to him you really would think a head cold was a fatal disorder.

Experience told my mother to take anything my db said about his health with a pinch of salt but to watch me extremely narrowly if there were any signs of anything. Somebody who didn't know us might have struggled with this.

Dd is one of those people with a naturally low body temperature, so she will be quite badly affected by fever before she actually feels very hot. Ds has a normal body temperature, so will feel and look hotter but will be less ill.

Dd's school never believed her about her joint pains despite her diagnosis because they didn't show outwardly, but told her she was imagining it and that she had to make an effort. Later we were told by a specialist that this may have done permanent damage to her joints.

I think it all boils down to people being individuals. As a parent, hopefully, you get to know them. But won't necessarily know somebody else's child.

toomuchillness Wed 19-Mar-14 09:09:09

Mine were constantly ill too, it's normal and ignore all this nonsense about it's how you define it, people are just having a dig

Thank you

GoodnessIsThatTheTime Wed 19-Mar-14 03:07:45

Missy, I too grew up with constant blocked nose... Do you take anti histimines/inhalers now to help? Or spotless house...?

I do think if you/ child is unfortunate to have be asthma/eczema/allergy prone then yes they often ate ill more often, chest infections are serious.

missymayhemsmum Tue 18-Mar-14 22:58:40

Sounds grim, OP. If there isn't an underlying problem it will probably get better when they've had everything that's going round the school at least once, keep going with the vitamins, I'm sure it makes a difference! With the runny nose thing have you considered the possibility of allergy? (says I who spent a childhood and most of adulthood with constant colds/ chest infections/ pneumonia until I worked out that I can't cope with dust, damp, carpets, aerosols or most cleaning products).

Martorana Tue 18-Mar-14 22:35:11

" but he is still mega sick all the time just not ill enough to stay at home fortunatly"

What on earth does that mean?

deakymom Tue 18-Mar-14 22:08:51

my son cant really have sugar as it used to make him pass out so he lives on fruit veg and curry (his fav food) he was always sick in nursery but it was so hot in there its no wonder thankfully the reception rooms are not so bad but he is still mega sick all the time just not ill enough to stay at home fortunatly

SugarMiceInTheRain Tue 18-Mar-14 20:47:53

I guess I have been lucky, mine are 8, 6 and 1 month. DC1 and 2 have rarely been ill. DC2 had tonsillitis several times in his first year of school and they had chickenpox when they were at preschool but other than that they haven't been ill enough to miss any school. Fingers crossed DC3 will be the same.

monkeynuts123 Tue 18-Mar-14 20:47:37

Mine were constantly ill too, it's normal and ignore all this nonsense about it's how you define it, people are just having a dig. It went on for years, sickness, colds, infections etc etc, endless calpol and weeks on end where one would get it and the whole family go down. Excellent diet and lifestyle here too. It will come to an end one day.

Martorana Tue 18-Mar-14 20:37:22

I would notice if my child had German measles, concussion, dilirium or was the colour of Kermit! Thwt's what I mean by "show" me.

VikingLady Tue 18-Mar-14 20:23:03

It really does seem to be the luck of the draw, rather than some magical parenting techniques. I was hardly ever ill as a child - I had 9 cicken pox but no other symptoms, never caught colds, was one of 3 kids in my class who didn't get flu one year, not even German measles. My brother however..... Chicken pox at 6 weeks incredibly badly (still has scars at 30), German measles at 3m, mumps badly enough that we were all very relieved that he managed to father a child recently (there was a lot of doubt about it), and every single other bug going. All of them.

Same parents.

hazeyjane Tue 18-Mar-14 20:20:24

With ds it is certainly a struggle. He fell yesterday, his ankle obviously hurt but he kept trying to stand and walk because he didn't understand that it was going to hurt.

He has wonky pain receptors, so doesn't react to pain like one of my other children would. He couldn't put any weight on it at all so we went to a+e, despite the fact his leg is too painful to put any weight on it, the only time he screamed was when the nurse tried to put a bandage on, because he hates people he doesn't know touching his feet!

Badvoc Tue 18-Mar-14 19:47:25

It must be incredibly difficult with a child who has sn.
How can they verbalise how they feel?
What if they have sensory issues that mean they can't process feeling ill?

hazeyjane Tue 18-Mar-14 19:41:46

As I said, a child needs to tell me/show me they are ill- I don't tell them. If they don't, we carry on as normal.

As cory said - all children are different. Dd1 could be shivering with a fever and the colour of Kermit and still insist she is fine and ok to go to school. Dd2 revels in the drama and makes a nest to be ill in. Neither of them get ill very often now (6 and 7).

Ds (3.8) really suffers even with minor illnesses, he can't speak to tell us how he is feeling, but it is obvious.

I remember being sent to school, walking through the entrance and vomiting on a pile of other childrens coats.

I bet their parents absolutely LOVED my 'oh, she'll be fine!' parents...

We've got 3dc, not that often ill, but this winter has been really rough. D&v twice in two weeks plus a cold going round the house was a little point.

As was DS and DD2 getting bronchiolitis from a cold DD1 bought home from school and 6wo dd2 getting seriously ill, nil by mouth and on a ventilator in hospital.

Sometimes luck sucks.

I'm just grateful we're coming out of it with just dd2s lungs weakened.

Odaat Tue 18-Mar-14 19:33:55

Yeah some kiddies do seem to be ill lots. My dd has had a cough and throat infection in a year. Oh and thrush on her tongue. The cough lasted a few days and the thrush ... Would that even be counted ? My friends babies in te other hand seem to always be suffering sad
I realise I am majorly lucky (thus far) and hope this luck lasts. I always feed dd lots of healthy stuff and lots of fluids (loads!) plus always socks on feet and well wrapped outside. Basics really ! A runny nose i would not count as an illness by the way.
My dd is very big for her age and probably has our good genes, plus she made me very aneamic in the womb by sucking the iron out of me haha!!

Badvoc Tue 18-Mar-14 19:24:38

Pepper...yes I agree.
It's dumb luck.

Badvoc Tue 18-Mar-14 19:23:54

My mum sent me to school no matter what was wrong...hence I will never do that to my dc.
Worst one was spending all day in the school sick bay babbling about wizards (apparently) as I was delerious with fever.
Another one was being sent in when I had concussion.
There is such a thing as benign neglect.
Then there's just neglect sad

Pepperglitter Tue 18-Mar-14 19:22:58

I have a 9yo who has never been ill. The only time he has ever seen a doctor was for his 6 week check as a baby. He was bf for a year but his diet now is terrible. He eats about 8 things and won't try anything else. I think it is just luck. The only days he had had off school " ill" are when I've lied an we've gone away for the week blush.

Badvoc Tue 18-Mar-14 19:21:33

Yes, it was 18 months for my ds, I meant it goes overnight when it goes.

cory Tue 18-Mar-14 19:20:16

Martorana, I remember very clearly keeping well out of my mother's way so she wouldn't realise I had German measles. Fortunately she spotted it (pun unintentional) or I hate to think what that could have done to somebody if I had just gone into school as I intended. I also soldiered on with a badly infected throat until it turned into pneumonia: I was off school for a month.

Children are all different: some will tell you exactly what you need to know, others will exaggerate their sufferings, others again will be embarrassed to let you know that they've just passed out on the bathroom floor (yes, that was me again blush).

Losthearts Tue 18-Mar-14 19:19:01

It does clear up as fast as it arrives. very odd

My GP advised 18 months - 2 years for it to clear up

Badvoc Tue 18-Mar-14 19:13:12

Yes, ds1 had that a few years ago! smile
It does clear up as fast as it arrives.
Very odd.

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