Lisa Frank: From Unicorns To Bratz

When you say the name "Lisa Frank," women of a certain age will immediately begin discussing unicorns or rainbows or dolphins or horses. But as Andy Wright of SF Weekly points out, today's Lisa Frank is sexy.

Wright details her dismay in coming across the "new" Frank line on a set of stickers, and describes the sexy 00s update as such: "Lisa Frank appealed to me because there were no people in her universe, just technicolor dolphins and polar bears. So, I was more than a little disappointed when I purchased a pad of Lisa Frank stickers at the store yesterday on a whim and flipped the pages open to find myself staring at what looked like Lisa Frank-ified Bratz Dolls populating the pages. The whimsical ponies of my childhood were being straddled by big-headed coquettes in hot-pink midriff tops."

Obvious sexualization issues aside, my main problem with the Lisa Frank update is how boring it is. When did America decide that what children really need is a series of shitty products featuring characters that look like bad sticker tattoos from 1974? If the original Lisa Frank was a cotton candy LSD trip for young, dreamy, unicorn-loving girls, the new Lisa Frank is a juvenile hand-out on how to dress like you're appearing on a psychedelic version of Rock Of Love Bus. Why are there angels in nightgowns giving sexy looks? Why is everyone's head 90 times bigger than the rest of their body? Why are all of these girls—presumably children or tweens—wearing high heels? Lisa Frank is supposed to be tacky, not trashy, you know? It's supposed to be about make-believe; unicorns and rainbows and dolphins flying together in the sky or what have you. It's not supposed to look like a decal that you'd see on the back of some douchey guys car.

But maybe I'm just old and uncool and my Trapper Keeper is way out of style. Whatever. Get off my lawn. My unicorn needs it to graze and shit marshmallows. It's s'mores season, crew!

Say It Ain't So: Lisa Frank Goes Sexy [SFWeekly]