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Is the dream of home ownership dead? Buying a house is harder than it sounds. (AP Photo/Ted S. Warren, FILE)

Last year, I almost bought a house.

Apparently, it's quite easy to do when you're in your early 20s, have a limited understanding of real estate and are on the receiving end of a game of "telephone" -- a relay of misinformation between listing agent, buying agent, third-party investors (my parents) and buyer (my brother and me).

It turned out the dozens of pages we initialed were simply a counter-offer, not some "In your face other buyer, we win" binding agreement, as I foolishly thought.

After a few days of sketching where I'd put the sofa to best face the TV, deciding if I wanted to rent out my spare room and finally getting over the shock and embarrassment of having to tell people, "just kidding," I faced the facts: I'm probably not buying a house anytime soon.

A year later, the money I'd been saving for a down payment continues to melt into monthly rent and gas money for my more than 50-mile commute (one way). Most of my friends still work odd jobs or face similarly dreadful commutes. In addition, reports about the increased cost of rent and the not-quite-recovered housing market continue.

So I can't help but wonder: Is homeownership something that only happens in the board game of "Life"? Somewhere between playing said board game and listening to my traditional baby boomer parents, I grew up thinking you're supposed to go to college, get a job, buy a house, get married, then collect little blue and pink plastic pegs -- I mean, have children.


That's what my parents did, and that's why they were so insistent that my brother and I follow the same path as quickly as possible.

Sure, I've heard a few stories of friends-of-friends-of-friends around my age who somehow bought a house. Or maybe they just pay the mortgage if their parents were the ones who handed over the down payment and read all the fine print. In either case, they're a rare breed these days.

Instead, most of my friends aren't even thinking about their "dream homes." That's not unless you count their Pinterest boards of lavish photos and decorating tips.

Every generation defines itself differently and charts its own course. But the difference between my world (and that of my friends) and my parents' world feels especially profound, at least to me. And I'm coming to terms with it.

Psychologists and the media say my generation is doomed to float in a strange postgraduate free fall of indecisiveness, deliberately jumping from job to job, boomeranging to Mom and Dad's couch, right? But if company loyalty -- staying with the same company for more than five years -- is supposedly a thing of the past, then maybe so is the idea that you should buy a home the minute you're employed and in a loving relationship.

I may be happily employed, but that doesn't mean I don't suppress that itch to couchsurf around the country or join the Peace Corps. (Read: check out some places on Airbnb while I follow my beloved Giants from ballpark to ballpark.)

Maybe it's for the best that my generation can't afford to buy houses right now. If we can't decide what we want to be when we grow up, why decide where we have to live for the next 30 years?

It turns out it was a blessing in disguise that my brother and I didn't buy that duplex last year.

It was the first and only house we made an offer on, and we were ready to throw all of our savings into a down payment in a pathetic attempt to beat out the other buyer.

Yes, we could have won the war, but the battle would have just begun.

We would have lived paycheck to paycheck to pay the mortgage. If the roof collapsed, if one of us got into a horrific accident or some other terrible disaster befell us, we would have had no contingency money with which to bail ourselves out.

I probably wouldn't have been able to afford cable, would have canceled my gym membership -- and had to forget going to baseball games.

Yes, some days I wish I could paint the walls in my apartment any color I want. But for now, I'm just glad I can still afford nail polish.

Kimberly Chua is a web producer for Bay Area News Group. Contact her at; follow her at