User avatar #11206 - sidedoor (07/08/2012) [-]
Does anyone actually have any proper advice here or is everyone tryna copy fourchan?
User avatar #11270 to #11206 - littlegreenmidgets (07/08/2012) [-]
have you been on 4chans advice? some of it is pretty legit.
User avatar #11354 to #11270 - sidedoor (07/08/2012) [-]
User avatar #11207 to #11206 - screamingdemon (07/08/2012) [-]
There's a lot of people here willing to give advice. Like me, but also many others.
User avatar #11365 to #11207 - sidedoor (07/09/2012) [-]
Here's my situetion:
17 y/o kissless virgin. No gf (ever) confidence started at reaaal low,but i've tried to build it,not its a tad better.

I don't like meeting new people,people i don't know. The starting anxiety/fear is preventing me from meeting or approaching people,however when i get to know em,its all good. (Given they are my age) I have only asked a girl out once,while i had a good buzz. I was shot down, not a straight "no" but i got the point.

I'm trying to work on my grooming,which isn't too shabby to start with. Cut my hair last year,started gym late last year. Both boosted confidence temporarily.

People in my class bring me down in subtle ways CONSTANTLY, making it clear they are more "alpha",even the one(s) i consider (good) friends. Ive cut one of em from my life completely because of that.

I've found i can be "alpha" or do "crowd control" with a few guys/girls,when i am the oldest of the guys there. For example,if one of my peers/people i know are there,which iconsider higher than me in the social pecking order,i am beta,and i act like it. Quiet and shit. If i am with someone i find equal to me,or lower,i can be the alpha in the situation. I don't have a fear of people,i'm thinking this is general lack of confidence. Also, i can't keep a proper conversation up,especially one-on-one because i run out of shit to talk about,or i can't think of anything in the moment.

And,recently my only left go-to guy to get shit off my chest has changed to the point where i don't trust him enough to be honest 100% like i was,and i found out he wasnt 100% honest to me like i was to him. He condescends me,and i hate it. I need a vent for my aggression and feelings building up,but i don't have one. I am becoming more aggressive in ragebursts that i can,so far,keep under control. I've found myself punching doors full force because of this,and i was ALWAYS the polite,quiet,well behaving, non aggressive kid. (cont.)
User avatar #11372 to #11365 - screamingdemon (07/09/2012) [-]
You and I are very much alike in this sense. And I know that the only thing that stopping you from being alpha is your confidence.

There's several ways to increase it. One really simple way is just acting like alpha (in a sense), take initiative, don't let people bullshit you, show them that you will not be pushed down. Basically, if you want confidence, just take it.

And about the fact that you are a virgin, it really doesn't matter. You think it will be a milestone in your life, but it's not. I honestly regret that I lost my virginity to a girl I now resent. So just wait for the right one, you know? Don't rush it. And the best way to attract girls is by confidence. Either that, or you'll need to be lucky.

I realize that you might not understand exactly what I mean since I'm just pouring my thoughts out here. So just ask.
User avatar #11373 to #11372 - sidedoor (07/09/2012) [-]
I do realize that mostly its lack of confidence.

IOve done whatever i could that makes sense to me. Improve grooming to feel better. Gym to feel btter (Not quite there yet, im 10kg/20lbs of my goal.

I said,i dont even care about virginity anymore. I want to lose it to a girl i like/love and have an emotional bond with. I'm not the one stand guy kind,but i wouldn't mind one. I think i need a breakthrough like that to help me.

I cant just go alpha against other alphas, because i am clearly established as a beta,and these fucktards will take it as an assault,and will assault me. LOL i am not really strong built (yet)
User avatar #11375 to #11373 - screamingdemon (07/09/2012) [-]
There is some sense in the "beat up the strongest guy for respect" thing, you know (not that I recommend that. And you'll get more respect if you don't treat yourself as a beta.
User avatar #11376 to #11375 - sidedoor (07/09/2012) [-]
I did kick the strongest guy in class on my first year,when all that aggression volume 1 broke out...which cut me a bit slack.
User avatar #11370 to #11365 - sidedoor (07/09/2012) [-]
As i was saying,im getting more aggressive,and i dont know how to dump that.
I was always a bitch,it has gone so bad and is so far developed that,when i get angry,or enfuriated,instead of fury,i feel tears coming into my eyes,and sometimes start crying automatically. I can't keep it back no matter how i try.

Some people say i have complexes,and outsiders notice that. I can't identify them,and i dont know how can i get rid of them. Recently,a few videos from ET (ethiphoppreacher - youtube him) have helped a bit,to change my mentality.

This is making me seem asocial,when i am in fact not. Socialising with people i enjoy being with makes me happy. Makes me feel like i could conquer the world,when i am having fun (i.e. aint shadowed by other guys).

However i need physical contact,i feel the need. For a hug,by a person who i am emotionally bound with (i.e. girlfriend i have true feelings for,who i dont have atm). I am past the point where i just want to have sex. I need emotional happiness. I am not the luckiest person,so i don't get much happiness. I try to please myself with small things as i am taught to be humble and modest,but more bad shit is covering it.

Now,i know i have done a move to the better in confidence,as before i couldn't talk to a girl i like. Now i can hang out with her no problem. Given that i am the "alpha"-est male in the group she is in. If i am not,i am unnoticable and visibly insecure.

Now. This summer,i will spend most of it with a good group of people. I have physical (Sexual) interest in one girl (my age) and i have emotional (gf material) interest in another (1 yr younger) and the way i am,i will lose both.

I don't know what EXACTLY is my problem,but i am obviously eager to fix it. This summer started badly for me and i will do anything to turn this over,as well as my own life.

As ET said "Make the rest of your life,the best of your life" And since noone will help me,i need your advice.
If you need clarifying tell me.
User avatar #11374 to #11370 - screamingdemon (07/09/2012) [-]
Human contact is important, it really is, and i totally understand every word you're saying. You can get human contact from your parents if there is no one else (if you feel comfortable with that. Even I sometimes hug my mom or dad extra hard to show that I, as a teenager, still really care about them (I of course have no idea what your relation with your parents is.)

Oh, and by the way, you should go for the gf material girl. Even if you're not sexually attracted to her now. You will see that once you have a gf, there is no one more beautiful than her.
User avatar #11377 to #11374 - sidedoor (07/09/2012) [-]
I'm at the point with my parents,where they think im in the phase where i bitch about all my non existent problems blah blah. BAsically,me and my eldest sister are the two least taken care of kids atm.
I cant hold a proper conversatio with them as well,thats how bad my social skills are.

I know i should go for her. But Iduring the year I live 37 km SOUTH of the town we will stay at. and she lives 63 km NORTH of the same town during the year.
So i dont think a relationship can come outta that. I think she did like me back in Dec-Jan but i screwed it up/FZed myself by overtalking on fb.
User avatar #11378 to #11377 - screamingdemon (07/09/2012) [-]
It'll be easier if you hit me with one problem at the time, so I can try to answer everything.
User avatar #11379 to #11378 - sidedoor (07/09/2012) [-]
Right. Sorry
User avatar #11383 to #11379 - screamingdemon (07/09/2012) [-]
So, what do you want to talk about?
User avatar #11384 to #11383 - sidedoor (07/09/2012) [-]
All of the above really.
I just need to fix these things and i am good to go.

-Social Skill
User avatar #11386 to #11384 - screamingdemon (07/09/2012) [-]
Well confidence is the core problem here I think. Fix that and the rest will probably solve itself. So lets talk about that.
User avatar #11388 to #11386 - sidedoor (07/09/2012) [-]
Here's what i've done so far,to improve confidence.
Cut my hair,improved overall appearance. (could probably give contacts another go,i can take em out but i cant get them on...)
Started working out. This will give me max boost in a year or a year and a half.
Listening to Eric Thomas (Guy is LEGENDARY)

Thats off the top of my head. Thoughts,advice,ideas,anyshit?
User avatar #11396 to #11388 - screamingdemon (07/09/2012) [-]
As I said earlier if you start taking initiative and act more alpha, people will treat you that way. But the most important thing is to show that not to fuck with you. Doing something as simple as just telling them you're not okay with it might work. Otherwise you'll have to show them some other way. But generally, if you keep letting people push you around it's just gonna get worse. So stop them ASAP.
User avatar #11399 to #11396 - sidedoor (07/09/2012) [-]
Thinking about this. I need to stop overthinking everything.

The first thing that i wanted to ask you was:
"What if that doesn't work?" oh god lol

See,i would do that with some people,but some get butthurt when i show em i want the role. When i deny them something.
User avatar #11400 to #11399 - screamingdemon (07/09/2012) [-]
Maybe you need to change your attitude towards yourself, and realize that you are an alpha that's been pushed down to beta.

Take charge! You're the fucking boss man. They don't like it? Fuck them. The're just butthurt because they can't keep you down anymore and afraid that they won't be alpha anymore.

Fuck, you even work out. You could do all this without muscles, but you have them anyway. They probably won't even pick a fight with you.
User avatar #11401 to #11400 - sidedoor (07/09/2012) [-]
I've never thought about it that way.... Damn you are a smart man...

I want to keep talkin to you tomorrow.
Its late enough right now i need my slep. I thank you for what you did so far and look forward to talking to you more hopefully!

I work out,but i will only have an....admirable... amount of muscle in about a 1-2 years. (Next summer man!)
User avatar #11402 to #11401 - screamingdemon (07/09/2012) [-]
Just send a message tomorrow and we'll talk more.
User avatar #11274 to #11207 - renegado (07/08/2012) [-]
Lol, quite trying to be an adviser or care giver. It makes you look like a faggot.
User avatar #11278 to #11274 - renegado (07/08/2012) [-]
User avatar #11277 to #11274 - screamingdemon (07/08/2012) [-]
Yeah, It's really weird to want to help people.
User avatar #11279 to #11277 - renegado (07/08/2012) [-]
Especially on FJ.
User avatar #11282 to #11279 - screamingdemon (07/08/2012) [-]
Yeah, well the thing is; I've been really depressed, and I found that many people come here for the same reasons, I'm trying all I can to help them and it feels really good when someone thanks you for helping them. I don't know what you possibly have against that.
#11292 to #11282 - renegado (07/08/2012) [-]
Lol, I've lost faith in humanity long ago. I take no interest in helping others anymore. The general human population is retarded, untrustworthy, and selfish. It's best to show no emotion on the internet. I'd like to see many fools exterminated.
User avatar #11356 to #11292 - sidedoor (07/08/2012) [-]
I agree on most points. Although if you don't give someone a chance,you may never know.
User avatar #11295 to #11292 - screamingdemon (07/08/2012) [-]
Kinda funny actually. I agree with you on pretty much everything you said. Except for the fact that I like to help people and express what I feel. I just see the people on this board and I see myself when I was depressed. Seems hard to explain it to you. I do what I wanted others to do to me. I guess I'm kinda Beta in that sense.
User avatar #11209 to #11207 - sidedoor (07/08/2012) [-]
I'd go to 4chin /adv/ but i am too lazy,plus i dont feel an urge to go through the bullshit posts to get to any help...lol
User avatar #11210 to #11209 - screamingdemon (07/08/2012) [-]
Do you need any help?
User avatar #11211 to #11210 - sidedoor (07/08/2012) [-]
Well,if you aint a troll,and are willing to help,i'd tell you what i have problems with...
User avatar #11212 to #11211 - screamingdemon (07/08/2012) [-]
If you look at my previous comments on this board you'll see that I'm not a troll. I'd be happy to help you.
User avatar #11213 to #11212 - sidedoor (07/08/2012) [-]
Its probably one you've heard a few times by now. If you will behere later,ill come back with it....
User avatar #11214 to #11213 - screamingdemon (07/08/2012) [-]
Okay.... It's a girl then, I presume.
User avatar #11355 to #11214 - sidedoor (07/08/2012) [-]
Well. A few months back it would be... The female gender is kinda relevant,bt not the main point.
User avatar #11358 to #11355 - screamingdemon (07/08/2012) [-]
What is the main point then? I'm presuming you're ready to talk about it now.
User avatar #11359 to #11358 - sidedoor (07/09/2012) [-]
Yeah i just got back on the ocmputer. Everyones asleep i can do whateva the fuck i want. Gimme a sec to write it up.
 Friends (0)