It's a Great Life: Don't believe what you seein your sideview mirror

Staff Writer
Published Sunday, September 04, 2005

Note: Anne is feeling stronger, so she'll probably write something that isn't old news by next weekend.

But, for now, here's another one from the past.

Mirror, mirror on the car tell me please how far, how far.

My husband, You Know Who, and I had a deep discussion the other day en route back from Fort Lauderdale.

"Is there a car over there?" I questioned, wanting to get back in the middle lane after negotiating a high-speed pass.

"Nope," he replied. "What's the matter? Can't you see?"

"It's not that," I told him. "It's the side mirror on the passenger side."

Here's the problem: The mirror on the driver's side of the car is fine. BUT, the mirror on the passenger's side carries the following message imprinted on it:

"Warning, objects in mirror may be closer than they appear."

Well, here's a stupid question:

Why bother to manufacture the mirror in the first place if it's not giving you an accurate picture?

Driving on an interstate is hard enough without having to deal with a mirror that doesn't give you an accurate picture of what's behind you.

The mirror thing is comparable to the "yield" thing on intestates. I don't think I've seen a car "yield" on the interstate in the past 20 years.

The "yielding" is now the responsibility of the guy going 70 (and yes plus) miles per hour on the interstate.

I truly dread the entrance ramps to Interstate 95. Today's drivers get those little rubber bands all wound up in their motors, and when they get to I-95 nothing -- and I mean, NOTHING -- is going to stop them from getting right into the thick of things.

I can't tell you how many times I had to hit the brakes several weeks ago as drivers coming on I-95 decided the best definition of "yield" is "GO FOR IT!"

Another sign which confuses me directs that accident vehicles should be moved from traffic lanes.

One of the major points when I learned to drive was never to move a car if you've been involved in an accident. Now they're telling me to go ahead and move it.

Then there are the signs which warn: "Watch for low flying planes"

Now, tell me, what I am supposed to do if I see a low flying plane aiming right at me?

It's kind of like the sign a group of us saw at a fast food restaurant. We went through the drive-through window, and after taking our order, the girl pointed to a space on the right, and said: "Please park there. When your order's ready we'll bring it to you."

What she had pointed to was a sign that said: "Parking for drive-through window only."

We were so impressed we took a picture of that sign.

Read more Anne C. Heymen online