One-day international, Dublin

Ireland v England – as it happened

Eoin Morgan had an excellent time on his captaincy debut as England won a rain-affected match by 11 runs
Craig Kieswetter in action
Craig Kieswetter made 14 from 26 balls. Photograph: Tom Shaw/Getty Images

Preamble Morning. You don't need to be in the throes of a thundering midlife crisis, riding round on your Harley and telling everyone about these hot new bands M-Dubz and J-Zee, to appreciate the thrill of young talent. With the possible exception of watching old videos of Chris Tavare at his most intractable, there is nothing in sport to compare with the joy of watching a load of promising kids. The infinity of potential is so seductive that it allows us to dream of a brighter future – or, in the case of English cricket at the moment, an equally bright future.

That's the thing. Normally the kids are dumped in when a side is at its lowest ebb (see Australia in the mid-1980s or the match that nobody else in the world, not even the man himself, calls McCague's Test), but today England will blood a number of youngsters from a position of relative strength. At least three players will make their debuts in this one-off match against Ireland. It's given an extra layer of excitement to what was already a hugely appealing game. Can the plucky underdogs do it? Can England's youngsters avenge that gloriously loopy World Cup defeat? Honk.

The toss has been delayed because of a booze-soaked wet outfield. The start was scheduled for 10.15am. It's a sell out in Clontarf; make no mistake, this is a huge day for Ireland in their quest for Test status. I think they will win today.

Play will begin at 10.30am. So there.

It's GCSE results day today. This makes me feel very old. I can't believe it's already 12 months since we got ours.

Remember when Ireland bowled the West Indies out for 25? It was a proper West Indies side, too, including Clive Lloyd and Clyde Walcott. The (possibly apocryphal) story goes that the West Indies were, er, disarmed by the Irish hospitality the night before. But still, 25 all out.

William Porterfield has won the toss and Ireland are going to bowl first on what could be an awkward wicket, slow and low. The England captain Eoin Morgan says he would have bowled as well, and then forgets the XI. Eventually he remembers that three youngsters are making their debut: James Taylor, Ben Stokes and Scott Borthwick. An English legspinner. Imagine!

Ireland include 10 of the team that beat England during the World Cup; Jonathan Trott is the only English survivor.

Ireland Porterfield (c), Stirling, Joyce, Cusack, N O'Brien (wk), K O'Brien, Wilson, Jones, Mooney, Dockrell, Rankin.

England Trott, Kieswetter (wk), Taylor, Morgan (c), Bopara, Stokes, Patel, Woakes, Borthwick, Finn, Dernbach.

On Sky, the former Ireland international Kyle McCallan reckons this is a day for Gloucestershire cricket – keeper up to the stumps and strangling teams with wicket-to-wicket dobbers. It's crucial that England don't overreach and try to get 300. In that respect, Trott will be an important player.

You can get odds of 7-2 on Ireland winning. That looks pretty generous. I fancy them strongly today.

1st over: England 3-0 (Trott 1, Kieswetter 1) The giant Boyd Rankin, who played for England Lions last week, will open the bowling. England will need to get used to the pace (or lack thereof) of the pitch, so it's a quiet first over with just a leg bye and a couple of singles. "Is there anyone out there reading OBO who doesn't think the ICC should just crack on and grant Ireland Test status?" says Ben Evans. "I really can't think of any reason why it wouldn't be good for the game – but if there's anyone out there who feels different, let's hear their point of view and get a debate going." I don't know enough about the infrastructure and all that boring stuff, but in terms of cricket ability I'd say they are certainly as good as Bangladesh were when they were granted Test status. Whether Bangladesh should have been granted Test status in 2000 is another matter.

2nd over: England 4-0 (Trott 2, Kieswetter 1) The atmosphere in Clontarf is beautifully Irish, not unlike the Craggy Island funfair. John Mooney is going to share the new ball. His first ball brings a run-out referral when the keeper Niall O'Brien hits the stumps with a sidefoot, but Kieswetter was comfortably home. Mooney is bowling from very wide on the crease, and finishes the over with five dot balls to Kieswetter. Early impression are that a par score might be around 240. "What happened in India was such a marvellous affirmation of everything we love about the game - like the Astle knock, what Kevin did was impossible, and unlike the Astle knock, his team went on to win," says Andrew Stroud. "But in some ways it has become a rod for Irish backs - they will surely never play like that again, and even if they win today, they won't win in the same joyful, unexpected, this-can't-be-happening kind of way. For some this may be a shame, but it makes the memories of the world cup so much richer. I still have the highlights on my sky plus box (and the Astle innings on a (gasp) VHS tape somewhere!). What do the other O'OBOers think?"

3rd over: England 9-0 (Trott 7, Kieswetter 1) Rankin's first ball is a touch too straight, and Trott works it crisply off the legs for the first boundary. There's a strangled LBW against Kieswetter later in the over, with an inside edge saving him.
"Great to see McCague's Test brought up again," lies Brough Cooper. "He may however prefer to be remembered for this little performance at the weekend. May not be against the mighty Aussies but they all count." That has made my day.

4th over: England 11-0 (Trott 8, Kieswetter 2) Two singles from Mooney's over. The conditions, it's fair to say, are not conducive to sexy cricket. If the Powerplay overs are boring, what are the middle overs going to be like? "The best bit about the story of the Windies in Sion Mills in 1969 was that apparently both teams were at the reception the night before but the Irish team sneaked out one by one to be replaced with other similar-looking individuals (or at least similar enough looking to the WI after a few Guinnesses) who then partied on until the wee wee hours," says Liam Garvey. "Consequently, the Windies were a bit surprsed at how fresh their opponents were the next day. Allegedly (I'm sure this is definitely an inflation) one of the batsmen took up his guard outside the line of the stumps, and asked for middle."

5th over: England 12-0 (Trott 8, Kieswetter 3) They are playing some terrible music between overs; I have no idea what it is but it's so naff as to be endearing. I fully expect Father Dougal Maguire to wander innocently onto the pitch any minute now. For now it's Rankin to continue. England are finding it fairly hard to get the ball off the square, so heaven knows what it will be like when the ball oloses its hardness. Just one from the over. Ireland are on top at the moment. "On the Irish infrastructure issue," says Chris Drew, "couldn't there be a way for the Irish to 'piggy back' on English infrastructure? There was a Test in Headingley last year between Australia and Pakistan. And we have nine Test grounds in England, surely it makes sense to let Ireland hold some Tests at these grounds (Cardiff would surely offer similar conditions to Ireland?????)." It's a nice idea, but you've made the fundamental error of employing common sense. Cricket doesn't work like that. Duh!

6th over: England 12-0 (Trott 8, Kieswetter 3) Mooney gets one to bounce very nastily to Kieswetter, who had walked down the track and had to jackknife out the way. Then he beats Kieswetter with a good outswinger. It's a maiden, a very good one, and England are being strangled. Colm O'Regan, meanwhile, suggests I may be racist for writing that the outfield was booze-soaked. "I hear you're a racist now Rob." Crikey. When did society become so humourless?

7th over: England 20-0 (Trott 9, Kieswetter 10) An extraordinary six from Craig Kieswetter. He backed away to Rankin, who followed him, and Kieswetter top-edged his attempted pull stroke over first slip for six! The straight boundaries are very short. "I've made so many cupcakes recently that my colleagues are struggling to eat them all," says Lorraine Reese. "As I'm off to Dublin tomorrow (a day late, damn it!) would you like the cake fairy to magic some over to you and the rest of the OBO team?" Yes please! We have quite the OBO cake collection now. I suppose it might be a good idea to actually eat some of them.

WICKET! England 24-1 (Kieswetter c N O'Brien b Mooney 14) John Mooney deserves this wicket. He's bowled a superb opening spell and picks up Kieswetter with a fine delivery that snaps away off the seam to take the edge on its way through to the keeper. Kieswetter looks suspiciously at the pitch. Maybe the ball stopped a touch, I'm not sure. Either way, it was a very good piece of bowling.

8th over: England 24-1 (Trott 9, Taylor 0) The new batsman is the debutant James Taylor. He is tiny – he looks like a jockey – has a Kumar Sangakkara-style helmet, and is possibly the most talked-about young English batsman since Ian Bell. He digs out a decent yorker second ball. "I wouldn't worry about Colm," says Tom Cochrane, "he's probably just pissed and knows not what he says."

9th over: England 29-1 (Trott 13, Taylor 0) I'm not sure par is as high 240. I suppose Kevin O'Brien can blow par scores out of the water, but anything above 200 would certainly be competitive. Trott misses an on-the-walk haymaker but then gets a much needed boundary by flicking Rankin through midwicket in familiar style. "I know they are making their debuts so need to be careful, but would there be an argument to tailor the batting line up," says William Hardy. "E.g. now Kieswetter is out, promote Bairstow as he is a bigger hitter, while Taylor could have come in had we lost Trott, being more of a stroke player?" William, you are having a magnificent shocker. First Headingley 97 the dead-rubber victory, and now you want England to promote a batsman who isn't even playing. Was it two-for-one on WKD last night?

10th over: England 34-1 (Trott 17, Taylor 1) Taylor gets his first run in international cricket with a very sharp single into the covers. It is referred to the third umpire, but Trott was home. Trott wears a short ball in the stomach before timing a classy, wristy boundary wide of mid on for four. "I would say a major hindrance to Ireland achieving Test Status would be the fact IT RAINS ALL THE TIME in Ireland," whispers Elliot Carr-Barnsley. "They could never play a sensible home series. That said, drawing all the time would get them above Bangladesh and Zimbabwe, and probably New Zealand at the moment."

WICKET! Ireland 34-2 (Taylor c Wilson b Rankin 1) James Taylor has gone, top-edging a pull high to midwicket. He was undone by the extra bounce of Rankin. Taylor made one, which I suppose is one more than a few great and very good batsmen – Barrington, Fletcher, Gooch, Atherton – scored in their first innings for England.

11th over: England 35-2 (Trott 18, Morgan 0) Eoin Morgan is the new batsman. This is the key partnership for England, between two players who are exactly at judging what is a good score. "More on Irish hospitality in 1969," begins Charles Hunter. "I was told by the Irish Times cricket reporter at the time, though he told me much later, that the morning of match day each WI player found a bottle of Irish whiskey on his seat on the coach. A lovely gesture."

12th over: England 37-2 (Trott 19, Morgan 1) Alex Cusack replaces Mooney, and his first ball is edged this far short of the keeper by Trott, dangling his bat outside off stump. There was no real excitement among the Irish fielders, but that went into O'Brien's gloves almost on the half volley. Morgan then gets off the mark with a very tight single to mid on. I think he would have been home, even with a direct hit, but it was a close one. "Sorry, meant Bopara promotion, not Bairstow," hics William Hardy. "Got several email conversations going on about this game and there appears to be some serious overlap…..I'm going home now."

RAIN STOPS PLAY. 12 overs: England 37-2 (Trott 19, Morgan 1) It has started to rain in Clondarf, although it's not heavy enough to stop play, not yet anyway. Kevin O'Brien replaces Boyd Rankin, and starts with a wide. By the time he is back at his mark, the rain has started to pelt down and the umpires have no choice but to bring the players off. The chaps on Sky reckon it's only a passing shower.

11.33am "One idea I have had – not that anyone wants to listen typically – is to create a "second division" of Test teams – e.g Ireland, Bangladesh, Zimbabwe, maybe New Zealand (too good?) or Kenya (not good enough?)," says Rory Murphy. "They play each other regularly, and are allowed a couple of Tests a year vs the big boys to build up experience at top-level Test cricket, while getting regular five-day action against teams at a similar level. Making Ireland a Test team now would just lead to years of huge defeats by the Aussies and India before finding their feet. You know, like England for most of the 80s, 90s and 00s. Oh and the Windies getting pissed in 1969 story is definitely false, as recounted by Dougie Goodwin: 'They were very late getting in on the plane and they had a long drive from the airport. We might have had a few, but I don't think they had time to have a drink'." That idea has a lot of merit, yeah. You could have two leagues of six, so New Zealand and the West Indies would play in Division Two, maybe with promotion and relegation. Not sure how it would work, but it's certainly worth looking at. One problem is that the gap might become too great between the two divisions, as it is between, say, the Premier League and the Championship.

11.36am The sun is out again, but the umpires are looking suspiciously at a few clouds so there is no news yet as to when play might resume.

11.40am Since you asked, here's a bit more information on James Taylor's helmet, from Tom Milsom of Ayrtek. "We have supplied a fair few county pros and international players with helmets this year due to an increased awareness of injuries within the game. We are a UK based company (in Bristol) that has innovated the cricket helmet design to make it safer, stronger and lighter. The helmets that the professionals are wearing are made from carbon fibre and Kevlar and feature our unique liner that is inflated and deflated via the buttons you see on the rear of the helmets. With a new range due for launch in September were experiencing an increased demand for the product." We've been sent cake and gin of late, but it'd probably be pushing it to ask for a helmet for my nephew, wouldn't it. But generally we have no dignity here on the OBO, so feel free to send absolutely anything in and we will contrive to publicise it.

11.44am The covers are coming off. We are now losing overs in the game. England have already arranged to fly home tonight, so the game has to be done by around 7pm I think.

11.46am "Am I too late," says Gary Naylor, "to request confirmation that James Taylor is small rather than far away?"

11.48am Oh dear. It is now pelting down, and the covers are going back on. It's torrential, with a swirling wind as well. The supporters are being battered.

11.52am "Those Ayrtek lids look pretty nice," says Harry Tuttle. "Get some office freebies, Rob. Promise to give them away in a competition, but then 'forget', leave them in a cupboard for a few months and then snaffle them out in a rucksack."

11.59am "Played a tour game at Clontarf many years ago and very eventful it was too," says Doug Campbell. "Their opening bat top-edged a legside clip into his mouth and we helped him pick up his teeth from the pitch and popped them in a glass of milk. He played against us the next day all wired up. Later, our short round Kiwi did a striptease whilst dangling from the rafters in the bar. Less amusingly I was tricked into using some Johnson's baby shampoo that was actually wee. Good times." I was really enjoying that email until you mentioned the baby shampoo.

12.07pm It has stopped raining, although the covers are still on. Anyone got anything to talk about? I might just type any old mundane nonsense to fill the time. That's what the internet's for, right? This is a nice song. They've opened a new Pret just down the road from Guardian Towers. I might go there for lunch. Depends if it rains. I left my coat at home today. Don't want to get wet.

12.15pm The covers are still on. The clean-up job could take a while, with this being a club ground, although the sun is out and we should have play by 1pm.

12.17pm "I really haven't been able to enjoy rain delays in sport since Cliff Richard stopped singing during them," says Ant Pease. "Surely cricket is missing a trick; at the very least they could deploy an emergency wet-weather Jedward. Shame on the ICC." Aren't they otherwise engaged?

12.20pm "If it does honk it down all day I'll be very disappointed as it will rob me of the chance to see Scott Borthwick," says Lee Calvert. "I last saw him in a T20 match about two years ago for Durham, and his action is uncannily like Shane Warne's. We can only hope that he emulates the great man by one day over-appealling, whoring himself out for poker companies, permatanning, featuring in an advert with a sandwich toaster on his head, oh and taking a few wickets as well."

12.30pm Play should resume fairly soon – probably in 10 or 15 minutes.

12.34pm Play will resume at 12.45pm, and it's now 42 overs per side.

12.36pm "So," begins James Dale, "for the Bank Holiday weekend I'm heading to a New Age B&B in the middle of a stone circle in Wiltshire with the other member of my Complicated Long Distance Semi-Relationship 2011. The place we're going to specialises in Emotional Freedom Technique, and something called Ilahinoor which sounds from the website like a more spangly, Peter Gabriel version of electro-convulsive therapy, and I suspect crystals may be involved too. I'm a little apprehensive, but obviously well up for it in a 'I'm Louis Theroux, I'm Louis Theroux ...' kind of way. Anyone got any tips on approaching New Age quack remedies in a semi-ironic but investigative way?" I'm a little scared on your behalf. The bad thing.

12.39pm "Another contribution to the feeling old department, brought on by the Borthwick/Warne comparison: Scott Borthwick was all of three years old for the 1993 Ashes series," says Harry Tuttle. "On a related note, tell us your favourite Warne moment, Rob. Dazzle us all once more! (Seriously, much as I love the Ball of the Century I do need more deliveries to daydream bowling.)" I've always loved this, not just the ball but the celebration. Australia were out of that game until Warne came on and swung it through sheer force of personality.

13th over of 42: England 38-2 (Trott 19, Morgan 1) The players are back on the field. Morgan walks down the track to O'Brien's second ball and is beaten. England need Morgan to come off even more now that the overs have been reduced; if he doesn't, it's pretty hard to see England posting a matchwinning score. A maiden. England are in quite the predicament at the moment. "I'm not sure throwing Ireland into Test cricket at the moment is going to be for the best," says Dan Lucas, "but surely having teams touring England play four-day warm up matches against them rather than against another county side would be a good interim step?" Yeah, that's a fine idea.

14th over of 42: England 44-2 (Trott 20, Morgan 6) Morgan back cuts Cusack for four, aided by some slightly clumsy fielding from Dockrell. That's only England's second off-side boundary, and the first was a top-edged six over first slip. "I remember seeing Ireland play Australia at Clontarf in 1993 (the year of McCague) as an eight-year-old scamp with my family," says Patrick Peake. "In between all the autograph hunting (coach Bobby Simpson was very grumpy) I recall Ireland putting Australia in so the crowd would be entertained. Allan Border hit five sixes in a row off poor old Angus Dunlop and even Matthew Hayden took some wickets with ghastly medium pace which still managed to be quicker than most of the ireland attack. How times have changed for the Irish team." And for The Matthew Hayden Experience.

15th over of 42: England 53-2 (Trott 20, Morgan 15) Morgan gets consecutive boundaries off O'Brien with two cracking shots, the first a swipe back over the bowler's head and the second a wonderful extra-cover drive. He still isn't quite at home in Test cricket, but in the one-day game he is as watchable as anyone in the world.
"This might not help James Dale, but my alternative therapy nadir was reached 40 hours into The Lucky Mrs Pease's labour," begins Ant Pease. Lord knows where this anecdote is going. "Our daughter was stubbornly refusing to appear, so Mrs Pease was offered some homeopathic mumbo jumbo by the midwife to help things along. After a minute of struggling, she gave up saying that she couldn't get the pills out of the bottle. I took the opportunity to ask what was in there; perhaps an infinitely-diluted solution of irony. It's official; looks can't kill."

16th over of 42: England 56-2 (Trott 20, Morgan 18) Another fine shot from Morgan, a wristy clip through midwicket for two. He has effortlessly changed the mood and tempo of the innings, as he so often does. Morgan bats with formidable certainty. If he cracks Test cricket – and it's still a troublingly big 'if' – that lower middle order will become utterly terrifying. "While talking about Ireland as an ODI/possible future Test side, don't forget Scotland," says Cor. "We beat Ireland during the Triangular series with Sri Lanka. We wouldn't mind consideration for a few four-day games, even though we'd likely lose heavily at the start."

17th over of 42: England 66-2 (Trott 22, Morgan 24) Morgan is playing beautifully. When O'Brien overpitches, he slams a majestic flat drive over mid off for four. He is so good. Morgan has raced to 24 from 24 balls; the rest have 37 from 78 between them. Four wides make it a very good over for England.

18th over of 42: England 73-2 (Trott 27, Morgan 26) Morgan has a stroke of fortune when an inside edge goes between his legs for a single. It could easily have hit the stumps or, worse still, the stump. Trott clumps the next ball from Cusack over extra cover for four. "It makes my blood BOIL the way the ICC are being snooty about Ireland gaining Test status," says Nick Lezard. "Can you imagine the sheer pleasure, the feeling of international harmony, of hatchets being buried a long, long way down, when you can settle into a pub and have a long, knowledgeable conversation about cricket with the person next to you – and he's (or she's) speaking in an Irish accent? Brings tears to the eyes. On another note, my daughter just got her GCSEs today, and they are so insanely good I blush to mention them. But it would be an honour to have her saluted in the OBO." Ah that's lovely. Many congratulations to the younger Lezard.

19th over of 42: England 80-2 (Trott 32, Morgan 28) George Dockrell, the excellent teenage left-arm spinner, replaces Kevin O'Brien. This will be a good contest with Morgan, a fleet-footed bully of even the best spin bowling. There are three singles from the first five balls, and then Trott reverse laps very cleverly for four. In fact it only came off his arm, but it was given as runs. England have scored 24 from the last three overs. "The Matthew Hayden Experience has recently invested some money in the Australian Big Bash League," says Lee Calvert. "He explains his reasons for doing so thus, 'Big dreams always start with the most basic executions of process,' he says. 'Families coming to the cricket, enjoying a three-hour proposition, with not the trinkets and the charms but a true value proposition.' He really is an inexplicable man." Brilliant. That's my new favourite abuse: You, sir, are an inexplicable man.

20th over of 42: England 86-2 (Trott 33, Morgan 33) Morgan opens the face and edges Cusack for four to end an otherwise quiet over. "The Ayrteks do indeed look nice, but surely the key test for any helmet is 'could you imagine Brian Close in it?'" says Robin Hazlehurst. "In which case the prize in your competition would still have to the same old polishing cloth for a top-notch shiny dome. Of course you could snaffle the helmets for prizes just in case Mr Close eventually turns out to be a wearer, and then lend them to yourselves, nephews etc in the meantime."

21st over of 42: England 90-2 (Trott 35, Morgan 35) Four singles from Dockrell's over. Both batsmen have 35. Trott has faced 56 balls, Morgan has faced 36.
"Re: Pret," begins Johny Bennett. "Living in Budapest, one thing I really miss from England is the ridiculous amount of sandwich eateries. What is the world's best sandwich? What makes a great sandwich? Mine would have to be pastrami, wholegrain bread, pickles, coleslaw, butter, and maybe some random salad. Tomatoes. Chunky." Not sure about the best, but the worst has to be the Larry David sandwich.

22nd over of 42: England 94-2 (Trott 37, Morgan 37) Here comes the right-arm seamer Nigel Jones, the one man in the Ireland team who didn't play in that World Cup match. He bowls almost off the wrong foot, in fact. Four singles from the first over. "One of the main problems with creating a second tier is whether they would count as Tests" says Nick Clark. "After all they aren't against the best the world has to offer." I hadn't thought about the impact it would have on Test averages.

23rd over of 42: England 98-2 (Trott 39, Morgan 39) A short blast of Snap's "Rhythm Is A Dancer" between overs wakes everyone up. As does a beautiful delivery from Dockrell that squares Trott up and brings a big LBW appeal. It was just going over the top, and may have pitched outside leg as well. Four singles from the over. "Best sandwich in the world?" says David Ward. "Prosciutto, mozzarella, tomato, fresh basil, olive oil on a lightly toasted baguette. . .hands down. . ."

24th over of 42: England 100-2 (Trott 40, Morgan 40) "I'm sorry, call me a pedant all you like, but it is 100% village to have someone bowling off the wrong foot in international cricket," says William Hardy. "Fair paly to the lad for making a success of it though." I'm saying nothing.

25th over of 42: England 109-2 (Trott 42, Morgan 47) Morgan slog-sweeps Dockrell out of the ground. That a magnificent stroke, hit with brutal power. "If England lose to Ireland," begins Ian Copestake, "will that reflect a Britain torn apart by debt and disinffected youth and render our current Test team status consequential only as the dying breath of a once proud nation of colonial types?"

26th over of 42: England 116-2 (Trott 44, Morgan 52) Morgan cuts Jones very fine for four, and that brings up another classy half-century from only 52 balls. Captaincy has not inhibited his batting in any way. He smacks the next ball straight back at Jones, who can't hang on to a very difficult chance. "If you can battle past the barristers in the queue," begins Gary Naylor, "John Charlick's of Gray's Inn Road do an egg mayonnaise on their own black rye bread that compares to supermarket sandwiches the way Test cricket compares to Twenty20."

27th over of 42: England 121-2 (Trott 48, Morgan 54) The offspinner Paul Stirling replaces George Dockrell. Stirling beats Morgan with a good delivery that turns off the straight, and there are six from the over, all in ones and twos. "I absolutely feel Johny Bennett's pain, having once lived for four-and-a-half years in Budapest," says Robert Wright. I could never find a reliable place selling sandwiches (or szendvicsek) that were even vaguely edible. I have a particularly unfortunate memory of buying a clingfilm-wrapped specimen in a corner of the 13th district and finding out only later - amid messy, messy circumstances - that my suspicion it might have been sitting in the sun in that glass display too long was very well-founded indeed. There are marvellous things about that country but neither the food nor the political climate are to be recommended."

28th over of 42: England 124-2 (Trott 49, Morgan 55) Trott does well to drag his bat round to keep out a big inducker from Nigel Kones. He has been extremely economical, with figures of 4-0-15-0. "Disinfected youth?" says Iain Little. "Really? Had someone at work today tell me, in anticipation of some new process nonsense, to 'watch this place'. Smooth, but not as good as the 'ball-point figure' that someone from Finance is producing for me. Course, there was also the damp quid from the IT crowd. Classy."

29th over of 42: England 129-2 (Trott 51, Morgan 57) A quick single brings the inevitable Trott to yet another one-day fifty, this one coming from 78 balls. He has reached fifty of 16 of his 30 ODI innings, a remarkable performance. "Is it me," says Andy Bradshaw, "or does the music in the ground appear to be being played through someone's speakers?" Ha, it does indeed.

30th over of 42: England 136-2 (Trott 56, Morgan 59) England are cruising at the moment. Trott backs away to flat-bat Jones over mid off for four. "My wife's bacon sandwich is definitely not the world's best, but is interesting in the way it brilliantly encapsulates both her proud working-class Leicester childhood and her stubborn yet futile resistance to her adult status as an urbanite, arts professional, Guardianista middle-class ponce," silvertongues Matthew Swann. "Toasted sourdough and rocket on the one hand, with cheap bacon and a 50/50 mix of Helmans AND brown sauce on the other. Filth."

WICKET! England 136-3 (Morgan ct and b Stirling 59) This is a huge wicket for Ireland. Morgan gets a leading edge back towards Stirling, who takes a brilliant two-handed catch diving to his left. It was a wonderful catch, because he had to dive behind the non-striker Trott and would have picked the ball up very late. Morgan played extremely well to make 59 off 65 balls.

31st over of 42: England 139-3 (Trott 57, Bopara 2) It's not really fair to criticise Morgan's one-day game, as he is a genius, but he has just started to develop a habit of getting in and then getting out. His last eight ODI scores are 59, 57, 4, 52, 45, 50, 7 and 63.

WICKET! England 139-4 (Bopara c O'Brien b Jones 2) Another one gone. Bopara fiddles outside off stump at Jones and gets a very thin edge through to the keeper.

32nd over of 42: England 141-4 (Trott 58, Stokes 1) The new batsman is the left-handed Ben Stokes, who hits the ball a mile. You have permission to be very excited about this kid. He gets off the mark with a single to the cover sweeper. "The music," says Niall Smith. "Ricky Martin, Eiffel 65, House of Pain? Is it me or have we shifted through time and are in fact in the late 90s/early 2000s? I hope England don't play accordingly."

33rd over of 42: England 144-4 (Trott 61, Stokes 1) Stirling has a biggish LBW shout against Trott, but there was an inside edge and it was probably too high. Stirling is bowling well here, and really hurrying through the overs. Just three from that one. "Bowling off the wrong foot, T20 style," says Rob Lee-Davey. "I'm not sure whether this disproves or confirms William Hardy's point that it can only work at a village level, but either way, for some reason it makes my brain hurt."

34th over of 42: England 146-4 (Trott 62, Stokes 2) Another good over from Jones brings just a single to Stokes off the last ball. Jones has splendid figures of 7-0-26-1. As a result, Ireland are probably just ahead in the match.

WICKET! England 148-5 (Stokes ct and b Stirling 3) A failure for Ben Stokes, who swishes his bat in frustration. He didn't get to the pitch and checked a drive straight back to Stirling, who held on to his second return catch in the last 20 minutes.

35th over of 42: England 149-5 (Trott 63, Patel 1) As is so often the case, the departure of Morgan has stalled England's innings. They are far too dependent on him. "I never said bowling off the wrong foot couldn't be successful," says William Hardy. "I just think it looks a bit, well, budget. I'll tell you what else was budget, when that 7ft Irfan chap played for Pakistan. Test cricket isn't the place for this sort of trial and error (I'm 6ft 9 myself so it's not his height, more the fact that it was the ONLY reason he got picked)." Given the shocker you've had, I won't point out that Irfan played ODIs rather than Tests.

36th over of 42: England 153-5 (Trott 64, Patel 4) Four from Jones's over. England can feel the soil falling over their head.

37th over of 42: England 164-5 (Trott 66, Patel 13) Patel makes room to strike Stirling inside-out over mid off for four, although the impressive Mooney made a wonderful attempt to save the boundary. The next ball is edged to third man for four more. Those are vital runs for England, although they are still struggling to reach 200.

WICKET! England 165-6 (Patel c K O'Brien b Jones 13) England take the Powerplay, and you know what that means: wickets. Samit Patel holes out to long off, where Kevin O'Brien takes a comfortable catch.

38th over of 42: England 166-6 (Trott 67, Woakes 1) Nigel Jones ends a fine spell with figures of 9-0-32-2. Inevitably, with wickets tumbling, attention turns to Jonathan Trott. Some reckon he has put pressure on the others by scoring fairly slowly (67 from 102 balls). I don't know about that. One thing's for sure, this debate isn't going away in a hurry. "Irfan," begins William Hardy. "a) As if they didn't consider picking him for Test cricket; b) My point still stands; c) I need to start thinking about what I'm writing, rather than just firing off a quick email while my boss cant see my screen."

39th over of 42: England 171-6 (Trott 69, Woakes 4) Five singles from Stirling's over. Ireland will certainly take that during a batting Powerplay.

WICKET! England 172-7 (Trott c Jones b Mooney 69) Now Trott has gone, screwing a full delivery from Mooney straight to deep midwicket. England have fallen apart since the departure of Morgan.

40th over of 42: England 177-7 (Woakes 6, Borthwick 4) The debutant Scott Borthwick can bat, and already has a first-class century to his name. He pulls Mooney mightily over square leg for a one-bounce four to end the batting Powerplay: three overs, 13 runs, two wickets. Oh, England. "Cupcakes are at Guardian Towers post room with your name on them – apologies for the pink flowery box, it was all I could find," says Lorraine Reese. "The cakes are orange, the icing is chocolate; I'm not sure how well the combination works (it was an experiment to use up the icing) but I can highly recommend licking off all the icing and then eating the cake plain. That definitely works." Brilliant, thank you very much. I could get used to this cake fairy.

41st over of 42: England 187-7 (Woakes 14, Borthwick 6) The penultimate over of the innings, from Stirling, goes for 10. Woakes drives the first ball crisply over mid on for four, and a few sharp singles mean that England still have an outside chance of reaching 200. The target will be adjusted because of the earlier rain, so there's every chance Ireland will be chasing over 200 regardless of what happens in the final over. "We just haven't got a clue," fumes David Weston. "We're rubbish. "This is great! It's like the 90s all over again! This is what I have missed all summer!"

WICKET! England 197-8 (Borthwick c Stirling b Mooney 15) Borthwick is dropped at short fine leg, mows a flat six down the ground and then pulls to deep midwicket, where Stirling runs in to take an excellent tumbling catch. There is one ball remaining.

42nd over of 42: England 201-8 (Woakes 19, Finn 0) Woakes blasts the last ball of the innings down the ground for four to take England past 200. We're not yet sure what the Ireland target will be, but unlike Duckworth and Lewis decide to play it for laughs and settle on a target of 471, I reckon Ireland are very slight favourites.

INNINGS BREAK Ah, apparently there is no Duckworth/Lewis adjustment, so Ireland need 202 from 42 overs.

The covers are on. The rain is only light at this stage, although there are some malevolent clouds jockeying for position.

It was only a very short delay. Play is about to resume now.

1st over: Ireland 5-0 (target: 202 from 42 overs; Joyce 4, Stirling 0) Chris Woakes will bowl the first over of the innings. His third ball is full and very wide, and Joyce slices it just wide of the diving James Taylor at backward point. The ball rushes away for four. "Bopara must have played 40 one-dayers by now," says Gareth Fitzgerald. "Can they just not drop him while Gooch is hanging around? Time for someone else to try and fail for four years, I reckon."

WICKET! Ireland 12-1 (Stirling c Bopara b Finn 6) Paul Stirling falls for a three-ball six. He cleaved Steven Finn's first legitimate delivery over point for six in imperious fashion, but a surfeit of adrenaline precipitated his downfall. He tried another mighty blow two balls later and sliced the ball high to Bopara at cover.

2nd over: Ireland 13-1 (target: 202 from 42 overs; Joyce 5, Porterfield 0) I was going to call that an eventful cameo from Stirling, but is three balls enough for a cameo? It brought to mind Romesh Kaluwitharana's innings in Sri Lanka's massacre of England at the 1996 World Cup. He made eight from three balls, four, four and out.

3rd over: Ireland 17-1 (target: 202 from 42 overs; Joyce 9, Porterfield 0) Joyce, working to leg, edges a good delivery from Woakes wide of second slip for four. Those are the only runs from a good over.

4th over: Ireland 17-1 (target: 202 from 42 overs; Joyce 9, Porterfield 0) Porterfield is beaten twice in three balls by Finn. It's a maiden. England have started well with the ball. "As an Irishman I'm not too au fait with cricketing matters," says Sean DeLoughry. "Will Ireland retain the Ashes and European Championship won at the World Cup if we win today?"

5th over: Ireland 17-1 (target: 202 from 42 overs; Joyce 9, Porterfield 0) Joyce is beaten by consecutive away-seamers from Woakes. This is excellent from England, and Woakes makes it two maidens in a row. "Thanks to my younger brother for the trip down memory lane in the 14th over," says William Peake. "I recall dad bought us a Kookaburra cricket ball that day. The next day your wayward Angus Dunlopping in the garden caused it to be lost forever. I'm just saying."

6th over: Ireland 19-1 (target: 202 from 42 overs; Joyce 9, Porterfield 2) Porterfield is dropped by Samit Patel at second slip. He pushed at a full awayseamer from Finn and edged it low to the left of Patel, who dived but couldn't hold on. It was a sharp chance. Another excellent over from Finn. "Not only have Ireland looked more up for this match, but their DJ is playing a blinder," says Ant Pease. "Allied to his wilful disregard of when an over is finished, his tune selection is consistently top notch. He's really showing up the old codger at Lord's who operates the gramophone."

7th over: Ireland 24-1 (target: 202 from 42 overs; Joyce 10, Porterfield 6) Woakes has a big shout for LBW against Porterfield, who had walked miles across his stumps, turned down. I reckon that pitched just outside leg stump. Replays confirm that was the case. Porterfield hooks the next ball round the corner for four. Ireland needed that after a few quiet overs. "I wondered why Eoin Morgan was chosen as the captain against the Ireland team," says Krishna Kumar. "Now I got it. It is like those gangster movies where a new recruit is given a weapon to take out some guy so that they can trust him not to be an undercover police offer. So Andy Flower is testing Morgan in the same way, giving him the gun against his former team members." It was you, Samit.

WICKET! Ireland 24-2 (Joyce c Kieswetter b Finn 10) Beautifui bowling from Steven Finn. He has bowled a wonderful opening spell, and now he has picked up Ed Joyce with a fine delivery that pitched on middle stump and moved away to take the edge. Craig Kieswetter did the rest. Finn was just too good there. When he gets it right, he is a serious handful. It's hard to believe he's the fifth-choice seamer for the Test team.

8th over: Ireland 26-2 (target: 202 from 42 overs; Porterfield 6, N O'Brien 2) Finn beats the new batsman Niall O'Brien with a fuller delivery that seams away. This is a seriously good spell of bowling. There is a sense that, as brilliant as the England attack is, Finn at least has the potential to be better than all of them. "Slightly off message but I'm on a train at the mo with the entire Wigan Warriors rugby league squad on their way to play the Challenge Cup Final against Leeds Rhinos," says Dixe Wills. "Some of the team are playing 'cheat' and one of them has just given us a three-second burst of Boston's screech rock classic 'More than a Feeling'. They're all very polite to the train staff, which is nice to see though." It's a sad indictment of how appalling football is that we are now almost shocked when any sportsmen behave like human beings.

9th over: Ireland 28-2 (target: 202 from 42 overs; Porterfield 7, N O'Brien 3) There are a few drops of rain, not enough to take the players off the field. Woakes, like Finn, is bowling a challenging mezzanine length, interspersed with the occasional fuller delivery. Just two singles from his fifth over.

10th over: Ireland 32-2 (target: 202 from 42 overs; Porterfield 7, N O'Brien 7) England take the bowling Powerplay straight away. After a few more dot balls, Niall O'Brien lifts Finn emphatically over midwicket for four. Excellent shot. Ireland need 170 from 32 overs.

11th over: Ireland 36-2 (target: 202 from 42 overs; Porterfield 11, N O'Brien 7) Porterfield drags a pull off Woakes behind square for four. These boundaries are important for Ireland, but they could also do with reducing their dot-ball ratio. There were five more in that over. "Paul Stirling's done okay in the eventful cameo stakes," says Tom Hopkins, "but he's still a way behind Robin Marlar's legendary stint as a nightwatchman – stumped second ball for six. There's a certain poetry in that."

12th over: Ireland 37-2 (target: 202 from 42 overs; Porterfield 11, N O'Brien 8) Jade Dernbach replaces the impressive Steve Finn, and concedes just one from his first over. The required rate is increasing uncomfortably for Ireland. They now need 164 from 30 overs. "Pro athlete lauded for being decent human being"," says Edward Wilford.

13th over: Ireland 42-2 (target: 202 from 42 overs; Porterfield 15, N O'Brien 9) Chris Woakes is replaced by Ravi Bopara, and Porterfield makes room to hammers a boundary through the covers. Rain is coming, so Porterfield has decided to get a move on.

Rain stops play This could be a long break as well. We need to have 20 overs in the Ireland innings for there to be a result under the Duckworth/Lewis system.

4.15pm Still raining. "Ravi Bopara is certainly doing a brilliant job... at taking up the slack left behind by Ian Bell, Stuart Broad, Kevin Pietersen, Alistair Cook and Matt Prior," says Harry Tuttle. "Somebody, apparently, has to be moaned about. Will we ever hecking learn?"

4.20pm It's pelting down at the moment. It's not impossible that we will get more play, but it's looking increasingly unlikely. England's flight is at 9.20pm I think.

4.23pm The cut-off point for play to resume is 5.34pm. I don't think it's going to happen.

4.27pm "Bright as a button in the City Centre Rob," says John Naughton. "Eh, the match is in Clontarf right?" Yep. The sun is starting to come out now, but it'll take a while to drain the outfield.

4.28pm Luke Dealtry has sent this link. I have nothing to add.

4.35pm This hasn't been one for the Collected Book of OBOs, has it?

4.36pm "How d'you know when England's flight is, then?" says Eamonn Maloney. "Planning on getting down to Gatwick with an I heart Ravi placard, aren't you." I know everything. I am Keyser Soze, Tyler Durden and Doogie Howser in one.

4.37pm It's raining again. I've said it before and I'll say it again: BAH!

4.51pm A miracle. Play is going to resume at 5pm. Ireland's new target is 154 from 28 overs, so they need 112 from the last 15 overs.

4.56pm It's raining, again, and the covers are going on, again. We have to be back on the field by 5.34pm for there to be a game. What a palaver!

5.04pm The umpires are having a chat with the groundstaff, and now the covers are being taken off.

5.08pm Play will resume at 5.20pm, and Ireland's revised target is 129 from 23 overs. That means they need 87 from 10 overs.

5.14pm "So Ireland's run rate now needs to be 8.7 when 15 minutes ago it would have been 7.5?" asks Oliver Pattenden. Yep, because the overs have been reduced.

WICKET! Ireland 43-3 (Porterfield run out 15) England strike with the second ball after the resumption. Porterfield thought about a quick single and then went back to his crease, but he was a fraction short when Kieswetter collected a throw from the bowler Borthwick and broke the stumps. Excellent work from England.

14th over: Ireland 55-3 (target: 129 from 23 overs; N O'Brien 9, K O'Brien 12) The new batsman is Kevin O'Brien, and you know what that means. He takes two balls to get his eye in and then blasts mighty consecutive sixes off Borthwick, the first down the ground and the second over mid on. Wonderful stuff. "But the runs total has also been reduced," says Oliver Pattenden. "Shouldn't it be more, well, proportionate?" The whole is that it is proportionate when you also factor in the wickets remaining.

15th over: Ireland 63-3 (target: 129 from 23 overs; N O'Brien 12, K O'Brien 18) Samit Patel is the new bowler. After three singles, Kevin O'Brien makes room to scream an inside-out drive over the top for four. This is devastating stuff. He swings the next ball on the bounce to long off, and has raced to 18 off seven balls. Ireland need 66 from eight overs.

WICKET! Ireland 66-4 (Niall O'Brien c Finn b Dernbach 13) Eoin Morgan doesn't risk another over of Borthwick bish-bosh, instead giving the ball to Jade Dernbach – and he strikes with his fifth ball when Niall O'Brien pulls a slower bouncer straight to deep square leg. Excellent work from Dernbach.

16th over: Ireland 66-4 (target: 129 from 23 overs; K O'Brien 19, Jones 0) A fine over from Dernbach, just three runs and the wicket.

WICKET! Ireland 71-5 (Jones b Bopara 2) Decisive captaincy from Morgan, who makes it a double bowling change by bringing on Bopara for Patel. This move also pays off when Bopara dupes Jones a lovely slower ball. It bounced onto the off bail with Jones long since through his shot.

17th over: Ireland 71-5 (target: 129 from 23 overs; K O'Brien 21, Wilson 0) Ireland need 58 from 36 balls. It's Kevin O'Brien or bust.

WICKET! Ireland 77-6 (Kevin O'Brien b Dernbach 26) Jade Dernbach wins the match for England, cleaning up the dangerous Kevin O'Brien with an 89mph yorker. It was a beautiful piece of bowling, and O'Brien departs after a lusty cameo of 26 from 15 balls.

18th over: Ireland 81-6 (need 129 from 23 overs; Wilson 1, Mooney 4) Mooney pings his first ball over midwicket for a one-bounce four. He's a really impressive cricketer, this bloke.

19th over: Ireland 86-6 (need 129 from 23 overs; Wilson 4, Mooney 6) Morgan deserves a lot of credit for that double bowling change. It would have been easy, in his first game as captain, to give the spinners one more over. Had he done so, the horse could have bolted. Bopara drops a stinging return chance offered by Wilson, but it's another tight over – just five singles from it. Ireland need 43 from 24 balls.

WICKET! Ireland 97-7 (Mooney c Stokes b Dernbach 15) Mooney pings Dernbach's slower ball out of the ground, but he falls trying to hit six more off the last ball of the over. It was driven high over the bowler's head, and Stokes ran round from long off to take a good catch.

20th over: Ireland 97-7 (need 32 from 18 balls; Wilson 6, Cusack 0) Bopara and Dernbach only have one over each remaining, so one of the spinners will have to bowl an over here. I assume it will be the more experienced Patel.

21st over: Ireland 106-7 (need 23 from 12 balls; Wilson 12, Cusack 2) Bopara's last over goes for nine. Wilson squirts the second ball past short third man for four, and the fifth delivery is a wide. So who bowls the penultimate over? I would give it to Patel and keep Dernbach for the final over.

WICKET! Ireland 108-8 (Wilson c Bopara b Patel 13) Samit Patel has sealed the match with an excellent penultimate over. There were just two runs off the first four balls, and then Wilson sliced high to Bopara on the edge of the circle. Ireland need 21 from seven balls.

22nd over: Ireland 110-8 (need 19 from 6 balls; Cusack 5, Dockrell) Top stuff from Samit Patel under pressure. Ireland need an uber-Allan Lamb.

23rd over: Ireland 117-8 (Cusack 6, Dockrell 5). ENGLAND WIN BY 11 RUNS Dernbach coolly finishes the job, which is what he's in the side to do. It's been a decent day for England and particularly Eoin Morgan, who batted delightfully on a difficult pitch and made a decisive double bowling change. Thanks for your emails. Night.

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