DEAR AMY: When my stepmother-in-law has a party for her grown children (previously there was a wedding and now an engagement party), our young children specifically are not invited.






Are we right to be hurt and annoyed? We can't help but think that our kids' grandmother doesn't like them very much. But are we being too sensitive?

Querying Mom

DEAR MOM: I agree that the grandparents should be understanding and supportive toward you and your children, but my impartial take is that engagement parties are often cocktail parties for grown-ups held in the evening. I can't imagine parents wanting to bring young children to that sort of party.

However, when you attend a function where children are present and yours have been expressly excluded, you have no choice but to take it personally. By all means, mention this to the grandparents; they may tell you things you don't want to hear about your children, but if you approach this with an open attitude, you may see practical things you could do differently (such as hire a sitter for the youngest and bring your oldest son with you).

You and your husband could help the kids build a relationship with their grandparents by hosting events in your home and inviting these out-of-town family members to get to know all of you a little better.



My husband and I were sent scurrying to the dictionary to look up this word -- and we are impressed, too.

Happy Readers

