Reports GopherLink of Dresser, Wis.: "My parents were selected to be on the cruise ship's version of 'The Dating Game.' Asked How much money did you (my dad) spend on the first date?, they each recalled the exact amount: 'Ninety cents!' My dad had spent 50 cents to get them into the dance and 20 cents each for two Leinenkugel beers.

"All during the cruise, people kidded him about being a 'big spender.'

"My parents have been married 67 years."

Joy of Juxtaposition

Sisu Bob: "Subject: Hawaiian coincidences.

"My last meal on our wonderful tour last week to the Hawaiian islands was a fish-dinner special of a species that I had never heard of before. I asked the waitress how to spell the name of the fish, and she spelled it S-W-A-I. It was a delicious meal, very similar to walleye. The next day, after we had arrived home, I saw a grocery-store ad in the paper which featured swai!

"Later that day, we discovered that the battery in our car was dead. I could not get the car out of Park to push it out of the garage to get a jump-start, so I decided to search the Internet for hints. I found a video that showed several different ways to do it, depending on the car. During the video, there were a lot of chicken noises in the background, just like we had heard in all the islands of Hawaii. Sure enough, the guy in the video signed off with 'Aloha.' "

See world

Including: CAUTION! Words at Play!

Al B of Hartland: "A red-tailed hawk perched regularly in the tree -- a light surrounded by shadows.


It was the raptor's private address. It was hunting by using its keen eyesight to find prey. I nicknamed him Boris Badenov (from the 'Rocky and Bullwinkle' cartoon) and imagined him trying to catch mouse and squirrel.

"I watched the bird with an appreciation forged through years of seeing and not seeing things.

"I was reminded of the words of ThÃ­ch Nhat Hanh: 'Waking up this morning, I smile. Twenty-four brand-new hours are before me. I vow to live fully in each moment and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion.'

"I look in wonder at the world."

The bumper crop

Rusty of St. Paul: "Bumper sticker spied on a nondescript car yesterday: 'I'd Rather Be Driving A Golf Ball!' "

What this country has been needing?

Auntie Omi: "Jack lost one of his insulated outdoor gloves. Being that we have months of winter to go [Bulletin Board interjects: Perish the thought!], his mom went on a store search to buy another pair. No luck! All sold out. There are no boys' gloves in any store anywhere that she could find. I went to the local Burlington in West St. Paul. Same thing. The only pair I could find was a woman's size medium-large in bright red. They are a bit big for him, but better than no gloves at all. The Lost & Found at his elementary school was no help, either -- perhaps because when kids need hats or scarves or gloves or mittens for recess or other outside activities, they can help themselves to whatever is in the L&F. That solves an immediate problem, but leaves some original owners out in the cold.

"I wonder if iron-on labels would help reunite owners with their outdoor and other small clothing gear. Maybe the label could be used by everyone in the home if it just had the last name and the phone number on it. Would you call that number if you found a mislaid mitten, so kittens could have some pie?

" 'Three Little Kittens'

" 'Three little kittens, they lost their mittens,

" 'And they began to cry,

" 'Oh, mother dear, we sadly fear

" 'Our mittens we have lost.

" 'What! Lost your mittens, you naughty kittens!

" 'Then you shall have no pie.

" 'Mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow.

" 'No, you shall have no pie.

" 'The three little kittens, they found their mittens,

" 'And they began to cry,

" 'Oh, mother dear, see here, see here,

" 'Our mittens we have found!

" 'Put on your mittens, you silly kittens,

" 'And you shall have some pie.

" 'Purr-r, purr-r, purr-r,

" 'Oh, let us have some pie.

" 'The three little kittens put on their mittens,

" 'And soon ate up the pie;

" 'Oh, mother dear, we greatly fear

" 'Our mittens we have soiled.

" 'What! Soiled your mittens, you naughty kittens!

" 'Then they began to sigh,


" 'Then they began to sigh.

" 'The three little kittens, they washed their mittens,

" 'And hung them out to dry;

" 'Oh, mother dear, do you not hear,

" 'Our mittens we have washed!

" 'What! Washed your mittens, then you're good kittens,

" 'But I smell a rat close by.


" 'We smell a rat close by.' "

Darnedest things

WARNING! Cute kid stories ahead!

Wicki-Yah: "A few weeks ago, The Preacher, our daughter, and their two kids called us on FaceTime. In granddaughter Emma's hand was a Polaroid picture. Baby No. 3 is on the way, and everyone is very excited!

" 'Remember at Christmas when we had to go home from the hotel, Nama?' Emma asked me.

"Accustomed to her pinball-quick changes in conversation, I said: 'I do, Emma. We were sad you had the flu and had to leave.'

" 'We didn't have the flu!' Emma chirped. 'That was the baby making us sick!'

"I told my daughter I wouldn't bother asking how she is feeling.

"Oh boy (or girl)! So much more laughter and joy to come!"

Mrs. Harley of Forest Lake: "I had my little 3-year-old granddaughter, Lily, staying with me over the holidays. While we were discussing Christmas, I told her that it was Jesus' birthday -- that he was born on Christmas. I told her that when his mommy, Mary, went to the inn, there was no room, so they had to go to the stable, and Jesus was born in the hay.

"Lily looked at me and said: 'They should've went to the Country Inn, where my mom works. They've got room -- and they've got a swimming pool, too!'

"She always makes me smile."

Band Name of the Day: The Naughty Kittens

Website of the Day: The lowdown on swai, at