Your Kids Feel Left Out at a Party

By Peggy Post

By Philip Friedman/Studio D

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Every time you visit your sister-in-law and her kids -- so your children can spend quality time with their cousins -- they invite friends over and your children feel left out. Now your sister-in-law tells you that she's throwing a big New Year's party, and your kids don't want to go. What to do?

1) Force your kids to go, but bring a few of their favorite DVDs to keep them occupied.
2) Decline and try to schedule a cousins-only event at your house later in the month.
3) Suggest an alternative location for a New Year's get-together, such as a restaurant.


The correct answer: (2) Everyone has a different definition of "family time," and it sounds like yours and your kids' differs from your sister-in-law's. If it's one-on-one cousin time you're hoping for, schedule a get-together at your house. (Your sister-in-law obviously doesn't realize that your kids feel left out when others visit her home.) As for the New Year's invitation, it's fine to decline, especially if your children don't want to attend. Politely say: "We're not feeling up for a big party this year, so we won't be coming. But Amy and Scott are anxious to spend time alone with Emily and Jared, so let's pick a date when your family can come over."

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