A Week From the Journal of Lightspeed

Disclaimer: We've gone over this enough! Everyone knows who owns who!

Hi, Journal! Sorry I haven't written sooner, but I got kicked out of Starlight Mansion (DIE RIO DIE), and just got my stuff out of there recently.


Okay, I thought I have seen everything. Time travel, bomb threats, nearly being brown up by a bomb, living with a holographic computer (I'm not making any of this up, but you know that already!), among other things, but I moved in with a group of loony mutants called the Misfits. Thankfully, they're no relation at all to Stormer's group. Hey, I promised Craig I would get along with Stormer since she's his sister, but Pizzazz, Roxy and Jetta are a whole different story.

Most of them are teenagers. Five of them have their own band going called the Superstars. Their lead singer/rhythm guitarist and the bassist are identical twin brothers named Paul and Craig Starr, aka Starchild and Darkstar. They both have hypnotic powers and can fire lasers from their right eyes. Their lead guitarist is named Lance Alvers, aka Avalanche. He can cause earthquakes, and he's a hopeless romantic. Their drummer is an Australian pyrokinetic named St. John Allerdyce, aka Pyro. That boy is nuts. He's obsessed with fire, and he thinks Kathy Bates and Sally Struthers are evil masterminds. Lastly, their keyboardist (and occasional guitarist) is Lila Cheney, an interstellar teleporter codename Starway. I play with them on occasion. Nice kids. They pride themselves on being the world's first all-mutant rock band.

I have to put up with Rapture now. Let's face it, me and the Stingers don't see eye to eye. Oh well, at least its not Riot. I'd end up killing him by the next day. I also have to put up with this self-centered idiot named Pietro "Quicksilver" Maximoff. Like me, he's a speedster. He thinks he's God's gift to women. What a dope. We also now have former members of the Teen Titans living here. Two of them, Raven and Bard, are half-demons, one of which is slightly anti-social at times (Raven) and argues with another girl all the time and the other thinks he's a cowboy (Bard).


Well, I'm in trouble! Apparently, when they wanted me to teach the younger mutants to drive, I didn't know they meant don't teach them to hot wire a car! Well, Rapture is nice to me now. I guess that's because I bribed Trinity into torment the X-Men instead of her. They all have crushes on Jamie "Multiple" Madrox, and of course, they did it for half the price.

I just remembered, I have some serious Quicksilver-choking to do. Turns out the little jerk was trying to perv on me again in the showers. I can't decide: Smash his head with a hammer, or take a chainsaw to his legs? Yeah, the hammer. He'd lament losing his looks more than his legs.


Ooh boy, is Bard is in trouble! Apparently, he borrowed a couple of DVDs from Raven (She had brought them here when her, Terra and Bard got their stuff out of what was left of Titans Tower) without her permission. As well as the fact that Raven also got mad because he also set her up on a date with Pyro. During the date, that flamethrower-happy nut tied to set her cloak on fire. Apparently Bard...I don't know what he was thinking...It must have been that coffee again...he let the triplets watch Neon Genesis Evangelion. After that, Hawk caught them trying to build one of the evas from that anime so we almost had a 400-foot-tall robot running around here. Heaven help us!

I also beat up Pietro today. Man, I feel good.


Something happened today that is not very unusual. The shrink subbing for Psyche-Out just ran away from the Pit screaming. Apparently, he tried to have Bard and Raven work through the issues with their father. Bard destroyed the blow up dummy that was being used to take their anger out on. Raven got carried away and blew the second one off to who-knows-where and the third one collided with Beachhead, nearly giving the poor sucker a heart attack. So now, the Pit is covered in dummy Styrofoam. Thanks a lot!


Oh no, it's the sequel! I just met the X-Men again. I get one with most of them. I especially like Kurt. Maybe it's because we have blue hair. But one of them concerns me. I thought Kimber had guy problems, but that girl Kitty "Shadowcat" Pryde is even worse! At least when Kimber had problems with Shawn and Jeff, it wasn't with both guys at the same time like Kitty does with Lance and Colossus.


Well, it must be Saturday, because my fellow Misfits drove General Hawk off the deep end again. According to what I heard, I guess most of the Misfits got into the coffee. Pyro turned a couple buildings into bonfires. Lance wouldn't stop making statues. Lila's teleporting went into overdrive. Pietro kept slamming into stuff, Wanda made pigs fly (literally), and apparently I thought I was Speed Racer and Rapture thought she was a real oracle. I guess Bard was off trying to get Raven to calm down because the coffee made her inner selves and her powers go out of whack.


Well, the idea of teaching us Misfits to cook was a complete disaster. Bard blew up his plate, and Raven and Terra got into an argument so their powers caused the stuff to explode. Lance and Pietro got into a brawl, and Wanda and Craig helped out Lance by beating Pietro with rolling pins. Fred ate everything. Althea and Todd wouldn't stop making out. I kind of set the stove I was using on fire, and John spread it throughout the kitchen, so now half the Misfits are banned from the kitchen. Well, see you later journal. I gotta go separate Todd and Althea before Shipwreck ends up killing Todd.