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What is your biggest gaming achievement? by kevc500in AskReddit

[–]sandman369 0 points1 point

I played and got crushed in the 1st Pangya World Championship in Akihabara. Oh well free trip to Japan was cool.

Giving away 1.3 MHs fury! Comment to enter! by matt8297in dogecoin

[–]sandman369 0 points1 point

This would be cool, I don't pay my hydro (all-inclusive rent) so I'd mine all day errday.

If you found yourself in an airplane which is about to crash, what would you do? by SupremeJannein AskReddit

[–]sandman369 2 points3 points

Right before your erect penis crosses through your mind... and skull.


[–]sandman369 2 points3 points

Wait... I never thought about that... why aren't there emergency parachutes inside the floaty seat cushions!

If every car insurance company says the can save me 15% by switching to them, shouldn't I eventually pay nothing for car insurance over a certain amount of time? by Apologicianin Showerthoughts

[–]sandman369 0 points1 point

Worse is when companies say "Save up to 50% or more!" So savings range is 0 to undefined. Excellent.

What is your strange sleeping ritual or habit? by SUPERBGroverin AskReddit

[–]sandman369 0 points1 point

His username spells out HI on the numpad (making the H without "lifting your pen" so to speak)

What about sex did you not know about until it happened? by Choebiein AskReddit

[–]sandman369 1 point2 points

Fucking knew it, that bitch!

Had surgery and just realized that sewed my tattoo together crooked by JulieMMMin mildlyinteresting

[–]sandman369 4 points5 points

Well shit, off I go to rewatch the entire first season again...

Just had a nightmare where I felt like I was able to die by scottocsin self

[–]sandman369 1 point2 points

I had a deathmare a few weeks ago. Shit is not fun.

Being 30 and feeling the need to express in creative way is pathetic by ncnchqin self

[–]sandman369 0 points1 point

Yes healthy eating and exercise do help, also getting full night rest every night.

It is tough without a job, I wish you luck on your search. If things get worse though, please consider reaching out to family or friends and ask for help, even if they can lend you the money for just one session to help you clear your mind a bit.

I understand the fear of shame in revealing stuff to a person IRL. It took me a while to be willing. But trust me, as soon as the therapist takes notes and responds like they do for any other mundane thing you tell them. Like in the first session there's not a lot of intimate deepness, it's mostly getting to know you in general and what you might want to focus on - you can keep it general and say you have motivation problems, nagging thoughts and probably depression. You'll feel more comfortable later, don't force yourself to feel a way you don't. I still literally look at the ground and fidget or cross my arms when I'm talking about uncomfortable stuff, because that somehow makes it easier to say, I feel less vulnerable in a way. But that at least lets me get out the words.


[–]sandman369 1 point2 points

I'm the same way. Might I make a suggestion to make all the things you want to do a little more reachable, and I'll write this as if I'm talking to myself-from-a-few-months-ago, because I completely recognize everything you're saying in here, including tone and attitude: get into therapy. I've only been to 4 sessions and I already have a bunch more hope, and some improvements.

Please consider reading all I have to say, I hope it helps you seek help. Even though you're just text to me, I genuinely want you to start the same path I'm on, because I vividly remember feeling (and still often do) the same tortuous cycle, and it's a hopeful path.

Now, in the seconds it took to read this you've already come up with a list of excuses why you can't right now, and probably it'd be easier if you just start going for runs or something "easier". Newsflash: BULLSHIT! That's just the same negative thought pattern, an instant reaction you've been practicing and perfecting for years. It's all avoidance tactics to remain permanently comfortable.

Your constant indecision, stress, and inaction are part of the cycle. In any functionally normal person (which you are, don't worry), thoughts lead to feelings which lead to behaviours which lead back to thoughts. Right now you're stuck in the negative loop, and there's no real discernible starting point, but you stated a clear example right there: you get some idle time, and you're so beaten into this loop that the negative thoughts are itching to spring up: "why did I do this and why haven't I done that and could it have been any different etc etc". This leads to depressed feelings, lethargy and apathy, it literally saps your energy (no idea how it actually works physiologically, but as a sufferer of physically painful anxiety, I know that our brains/chemicals/hormones are powerful bastards). That all leads to avoidance, procrastination, isolating yourself, etc.

This is a REALLY difficult loop to escape on your own. Because it's essentially a symbiotic thing. It has become your natural thought pattern, it has taken over as who you think of yourself as. It would take an ENORMOUS amount of willpower, trust (in yourself and any advice like mine), and all the other difficult self-control qualities to tackle this all on your own. And that's what makes it totally OK to not be able to do it. So first off, please try not to blame yourself at all for this negative loop you're in. Everyone gets to where they are through choices, yes, but it's not like you can see the turns down the road when you're making them. Especially since the ones that can get you to this point at 30 years old are mostly made when you're growing up, forming your neural pathways. I end up looking at it in a deterministic kind of way - you were born into and raised by a family with certain traits and behaviours, certain events took place, and you reacted and made choices the only way you learned how to. I think there is some validity in "blaming the parents", but only insomuch as they can blame theirs, and on and on.

Anyway, kinda got sidetracked... basically, just try to push aside all the other ideas and plans of all these things you haven't done and/or might want to do, and make getting into therapy your ONLY one of these tasks. Make it your obsession, if you have to, until you're in. And add a sidenote: be completely honest with your therapist. Think of him/her as a verbal /r/self. They're skilled in handling whatever you can throw at them. They worked hard for years at it, you're not going to suddenly shock them or throw them for a loop.

Do whatever you have to do to get into therapy. I was all avoidy about it because I thought I couldn't afford it, or I didn't know who would be a good therapist, or that it wouldn't even end up helping anyway. Well, that's all bullshit. This is something more important than a bunch of little things in your life, so I'm sure you can find a way to afford it. I eventually reached out to family members and they're helping me financially. I'm lucky in that way. But don't down-play the people in your life, you'd be surprised how much they might want to help you. As for who's a good therapist, search on near you. I'm sure you're smart enough to figure out how to find a good one. AND THEN JUST DO IT. E-mail them to ask if they're accepting patients, what's their rate, can you set up an initial session.

Really hope you find some help in some way, I know it really sucks being stuck in that loop! You say you need constant reminders of this kind of thing, so set this page or comment as your homepage and it might eventually sink in as something that's not that tough to do after all. And don't beat yourself up if you don't do it right away! You can't expect to combat a lifetime of certain patterns in huge leaps and bounds. If you have to, set a goal of simply choosing your top choice of therapist and sending the simple e-mail I outlined by this time next week.

Seek the therapy, embrace the therapy, love the therapy! I simply look at it as, "this person is just a fellow reluctant grown-up who makes their living fixing the problem I have (thought problems)". Much like you pay a mechanic to fix your major car problems and maintain the things that wear down, a therapist is trained and practiced in fixing major thought problems and maintaining your helpful thoughts.

Good luck! :)

What is harder than it should be? by carmaboundin AskReddit

[–]sandman369 0 points1 point

Ummmm you definitely have time to pig out on junk food if you take time to make an account and comment on Reddit. If you watch even one half-hour episode of a TV show a day, why can't you eat a pint of ice cream at the same time?

My water boiler looks like it's pure evil by Capt_Way_too_Obviousin mildlyinteresting

[–]sandman369 1 point2 points

pretty good, pretty, pretty good.

I could totally see this being a main focus of a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode.

Giving Up Coffee: Have Any of You Done This? by greatgreenroomin Anxiety

[–]sandman369 0 points1 point

I stopped having caffeine a while ago but can't tell if it changed anything. I just heard on an episode of QI that caffeine is the worst when taken inconsistently. So, either don't drink it at all, or have the same small amount every day around the same time. Don't abstain for a few days then have some, then stop, etc.

The 'Edge of Tomorrow' Ending You Didn't See by antdudein movies

[–]sandman369 10 points11 points

McQuarrie will be coming out as a Scientologist soon enough

How do you deal with growing up and life changing? by throw_away_flowerin self

[–]sandman369 1 point2 points

Life seems to boil down to how much you have filling your time and attention. People going their separate ways is inevitable, so naturally you will be less full. Now real responsibility comes in, where YOU have to go find something to fill what has emptied out of your life.

This is why so so many people fall into addictions, loneliness, etc. It's really easy to find something to briefly fill that new void (a drug, the internet, whatever) to get back to feeling full. But it doesn't tend to work out well, those things empty out quicker than anything else and so you chase the full feeling, and before you know it, boom, you have issues.

So... you have to try new things and/or meet new people, to try to fill the space created by your "default people" branching out. And that pursuit in itself makes you feel a little fuller. Everyone gets those pangs for the easy and comfortable past, it's not something to fear and avoid, just be aware of it and be glad you have a good past to remember.

Life is like a cup of water... when you're a kid, adults in your life fill it up for you. As you grow up it starts getting some leaks, which hopefully your parents or other people in your life can show you how to seal. Once you've grown and become a self-responsible adult, all those people now go back to mostly tending their own cups. Now you have to seal your own leaks (people will help if they can but you have to ask) and find your own water to refill what gets drained.

I'm constantly looking forward to getting older. I can't enjoy what are supposed to be "the best years of my life". by fluffle_of_bunniesin self

[–]sandman369 4 points5 points

Nothin' wrong with that. You will be one stellar adulty-man/woman

Never forget :) by sklitein dogecoin

[–]sandman369 0 points1 point

What is FUD?

TIFU by shaving my chance to be in Star Wars VII off my face. by misterobin tifu

[–]sandman369 3 points4 points

As Luke would say, "NOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO!"

When someone says "They're really nice on the inside" - it could be profoundly sexual. by njallbeardin Showerthoughts

[–]sandman369 7 points8 points

Or serial killer-y. Like, wearing people as suits. They'd be appreciating the person's inside texture. So warm and tender. mmmmmm

What is your "go to line" when someone says, "Tell me something interesting about yourself?" by iPuppyDogin AskReddit

[–]sandman369 0 points1 point

A Frenchman, a Brazilian, a Dutchman, and I once got beat by some Koreans in Japan... in a fake game of golf with hundreds of people watching.

What topic makes you go from 0 to rage in seconds? by RainbowLlama412in AskReddit

[–]sandman369 0 points1 point

It might just be that it's not a fertile time for "legends in their own time". There's SO much access to EVERYTHING that things get diluted. Artists have to stand out a bazillion times more to gain a quick legend status. And they have to sell themselves that much harder to get widespread attention.

I too tend to look at things from a rock perspective, but one of my absolute favourite recent artists is Celldweller (mostly his eponymous album from 2003 youtube link). He's a one-multi-instrumentalist-man-band with astounding talent. He's a blend of genres I suppose, like electronic/rock/metal, getting more "ethereal" in his newest stuff (which I don't like as much but the Celldweller album will probably be in my top 5 forever.) You've probably heard at least a snippet of his stuff without knowing it, apparently he's been used in games, trailers, videos etc. galore. Much like Trent Reznor in terms of work ethic and talent IMO.

Acts like NIN and Celldweller will never reach the same globally-recognized status of the legends you named, but I think they are at least as talented, creative, and hard-working, if not moreso. I think music will continue to disperse into a wider array of genres or subcultures, so you just have to look a bit harder, but you'll still find legend-worthy talents among them.