poem KM I had this published in TPJ Summer '99 issue. But, in case you don't read it (which you should!) I thought I would share it here too. As with all my Perl Poetry, this will run.<P> <table border="1" width="500"> <tr> <td> <p> <pre> if ("a packet hits a pocket") { On: a; socket(ON, A ,PORT,"") &amp;&amp; the bus is interrupted as a very-last-resort &amp;&amp; the address of the memory makes your floppy disk, abort; } else { "The socket packet pocket has an"; error: to-report; } if ("your cursor finds a menu item") { "followed by a dash" &amp;&amp; "the double clicking icon"; puts: your-items-in-the-trash &amp;&amp; your data is corrupted cause the index("doesn't", "hash"); } else { "Your situation is hopeless" &amp;&amp; Your system's gonna crash; } if ("the label on the cable") { On-the-table, at-your-house; Says_the; sub network {"is connected to the button on your mouse"}; BUT: Your-packets, want-to; {/tunnel to another protocol/}; thats: repeatedly-rejected; {/by the printer/}; "down the hall" &amp;&amp; "YOUR SCREEN is all distorted"; {/by the side effects of Gauss/}; so: "your icons", in-the-window; "are as wavy as a souse"; } else { YOU: "may as well reboot" &amp;&amp; "go out with a !"; CAUSE: /Sure as Im a poet/; THIS: suckers-gonna-hang; } print "Seuss as a tech writer - Kevin Meltzer\n"; </pre> </td> </tr> </table>