Silly house rules

(373 Posts)
tabbyH Sun 20-Mar-11 20:37:15

My husband has just emptied our kitchen bin. Apparently this means that I'm not allowed to put anything in it! Not sure what the time frame is until the bin is allowed to be used again... Does anyone else have any peculiar rules?

onepieceoflollipop Sun 20-Mar-11 20:38:17

Is there a reason for it? Occasionally I empty ours and then wipe it out with hot water and bleach, and i like to leave it to dry naturally/air for an hour or so.

ask him why?

ddubsgirl Sun 20-Mar-11 20:38:49

not us but my friend hatd anyone using her front room,she lived in a 2 bed flat and we would have to sit in her kitchen,wasnt too bad but when 8mths preganant and sitting on cold hard floor,not very comfy,couldnt move the next day.

justpaddling Sun 20-Mar-11 20:42:10

We weren't allowed to use the loo after mum had given it it's thorough weekly clean on a Sat AM. We all had to go prior to clean and were not allowed to use it until at least mid afternoon. Was not unheard of us to wee in the garden if we got caught short blush

tabbyH Sun 20-Mar-11 20:46:13

No he hadn't cleaned it. Just a new bag.

Love the toilet story!

onepieceoflollipop Sun 20-Mar-11 20:48:06

I do get a bit hmm if dh changes the bin bag at a silly time. (e.g. we might have had fish for dinner, and before one of us scrapes the plates he puts a clean bag in!)

however I try to keep my mouth shut as it's only a bin bag. grin

ifancyashandy Sun 20-Mar-11 20:54:29

My mum used to say 'don't walk on the floors' after she'd cleaned them!!

But Muuuuuum, how am I meant to get about the house?!?!?

Her other one was 'don't get the towels wet'!!!

Tis no wonder I'm a fuck up anal freak little tidy! grin

My ddad is the same about the toilet cleaning. They have 3 in their house and it has got to the stage that you are only allowed to use one of them and not on a Monday morning or early afternoon. grin
I am the same about clean floors too. Everyone hates it when I clean...

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

No of my house rules are sill as I do things the 'right' way wink

arfur Sun 20-Mar-11 21:03:07

My next door neighbour does this - emptys bins on tuesday and by eight am weds morning bin is out front ready for bin men who come on Thurs so is full 48 hours of only being allowed to use one carrier bag instead of bins around house. Makes me and DH laugh EVERY week at poor next door's dh - it drives him crackers!!

tethersend Sun 20-Mar-11 21:09:00

My friend's dad would allow the telly or the lights to be on, but not both, as it wasted electricity.

Skinit Sun 20-Mar-11 21:13:53

I'm GOGGLING at this! I am so lax I don't have any rules! Apart from shoes off when you come in.

Which is normal and right and the only way to live as we all know.


tabbyH Sun 20-Mar-11 21:20:24

I'm getting told off for being a slack wife while laughing at these. DH is a much better wife than I am! His mother thinks so too... Never fails to put in little digs. I love her really. Now she does have strange bin habits. I have no idea what rubbish goes where at hers - but certainly not in the bin!

ziva Sun 20-Mar-11 21:29:16

lol my mam has towels on the rail in the bathroom.but we are not allowed use them.they are for display or visitors.

ENormaSnob Sun 20-Mar-11 21:37:30

I do the toilet thing blush

robotlollypopman Sun 20-Mar-11 21:38:06

Why did you move to silly house?

Tisallafaff Sun 20-Mar-11 21:43:00

My DP tells me off for putting things in the bin. It just gets full. Well fancy that. hmm

My dad used to have a rule that tissues should be used for at least two nose blows before being discarded.

Ginabraz Sun 20-Mar-11 21:45:12

No wet towels on the bed and squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube.

ChippingInMistressSteamMop Sun 20-Mar-11 21:47:31

Too many to list here - you'd hate living with me grin

4FoxAche Sun 20-Mar-11 21:52:02

Ginabraz. That's not silly, that's just common sense.

ivykaty44 Sun 20-Mar-11 21:53:04

Yes my mum used to have umbrellas for best - they where to use when it wasn't raining or likely to rain smile

muminthecity Sun 20-Mar-11 21:56:46

My heart sank a little the other day when I found myself having to announce our new house rule - no farting at the dinner table. My 5 year old DD was most upset by this, apparently it is a major inconvenience to have to leave the room to fart during dinner hmm

theyoungvisiter Sun 20-Mar-11 21:59:52

Does anyone remember that weird thread about people who flushed all their food scrapings down the toilet? And there were people posting on that going "I thought this was normal"

So maybe that's tabbyh's MIL's secret grin

No house rules at mine. Apart from I Am Always Right. Even when I'm not. wink

Slambang Sun 20-Mar-11 22:02:07

My mum insists that all downstairs curtains must be opened before she goes to bed to be ready for the morning. Does anyone else do that?

ChippingInMistressSteamMop Sun 20-Mar-11 22:05:07

TYV - OMG - NO... really? I missed that thread - no it's not bloody normal! Weirdo's.

Slambang - errrr no....

But if they must be opened before bed, then when do they close? When it gets dark until bedtime? Thats mind boggling!

I have no rules. Will have to invent some quickly. May steal a few of these and use them on a rotation system so as to thoroughly confuse DH by which rules he must follow at any given time. grin

Nobody in the house should be an arse to anyone else in the house.

End of rules.

Heifer Sun 20-Mar-11 22:14:33

My mum used to moan when we had a poo in the upstairs toilet.. We were supposed to use the downstairs one for that as it had a fan extracter!!!

I kid you not... whether we were supposed to stop mid wee if we realised we needed a poo and skip down the stairs with our trews down at our ankles I just don't know.

jenga079 Sun 20-Mar-11 22:15:40

The wok must not be washed in water.

I thought I had worked out how to wash it (wait till DP is out, then wash in water) but have been found out, so now I just don't use it.

theyoungvisiter Sun 20-Mar-11 22:16:47

Chipping - it ran to about 12 pages! I just tried to find it but it must have been in chat cos it seems to have gone.

From what I remember the OP posted saying "My PILs do this, isn't it weird" and loads of people sniffily chimed in saying "not at all, perfectly normal" and then loads more chimed in saying "YOU FREAKS".

TheSleepFairy Sun 20-Mar-11 22:36:41

My DH has the wok obsession jenga he rubs it with oil & baking paper & it has it's own special shelf in a cupboard.

I flush left over cereal & milk down the loo.

god jenga - he'd hate me - I throw mine in the dishwasher with everything else grin

Newgolddream Sun 20-Mar-11 22:47:51

My DH decided to get rid of the bathroom bin because I quote "it just gets filled with rubbish"! ffs its a bin lol.

Mind you he quickly changed his mind when he (hes very house proud) soon had to pick up all the empty tampon applicators etc that I started piling on the floor lol grin

Needanewname Sun 20-Mar-11 22:48:49

did anyone else read that wrong and think that thesleepfairy's husband rubs the game jenga with oil and baking paper?!

Bogeyface Sun 20-Mar-11 22:50:02

DH will do an eye roll as the newly emptied bin gets stuff in it and say "I only just emptied that"

I have asked where he would rather we put the rubbish, but he cant answer!

JockTamsonsBairns Sun 20-Mar-11 22:55:20

My Mum used to buy crap biscuits when we were growing up as, otherwise, "they'll just get eaten". Interestingly, now she lives alone, she still buys rubbish biscuits (rich tea et al) as she's worried she would just eat them if she liked them confused

Yes, newname!

HisWife Sun 20-Mar-11 23:05:36

DH's rule is when tidying/cleaning a house, always start with hoovering.

Needanewname Sun 20-Mar-11 23:06:46

Thanks Queefer!

arfur Sun 20-Mar-11 23:08:04

Oh the pooing thing reminds me - next-door's dh is also not allowed to poo in their en-suite he has to use the main bathroom or downstairs loo. Am not sure if she is allowed to poo in there or not - they are loons!

Bogeyface Sun 20-Mar-11 23:09:16

Jock, my mum used to do that! "Oh you'll only eat them...." Errmmm....isnt that the point?!

I fecking HATE digestives now

Bogeyface Sun 20-Mar-11 23:09:57


You hoover last, to get up all the dust and crap that has floated down in the cleaning! does the man know nothing?!

clam Sun 20-Mar-11 23:17:42

My DH starts getting all sergeant-majorish once he's tidied the under-the-stairs cupboard or the garage. I'm not allowed to even open the door afterwards without getting barked at with "you're not putting any crap in there are you? I've just tidied it."
So he'd rather I left crap all over the hall floor instead?

Ditto mother and not buying nice biscuits coz we "just eat them."

TheSleepFairy Sun 20-Mar-11 23:21:50

blush grin

weedle Sun 20-Mar-11 23:27:12

Ooh I hate DH doing a pooh in the en-suite if it's near bed time. I don't want his stink wafting towards my pillow....

RevoltingPeasant Sun 20-Mar-11 23:29:40

In my house we have to hang the towels up neatly after use, and not screw them up into a ball and place them on top of the towel looking at you DP

DP is a champion washer-upper but doesn't empty the dirty water out afterwards, which is wrong hmm

Oh and we always have to have fresh flowers in the living room. Now we have bright yellow lilies

I have three rules:

Rule 1 - I am always right.

Rule 2 - There are no other rules.

Rule 3 - If I am wrong, see rule 1!

DH stacks the dishwasher in a particular order.. and will restack anything the rest of us put in. It means I now deliberately put the dishes in the WRONG place just to irritate him grin

However I am guilty of not letting the kids in the kitchen when I have cleaned the floor.... or in the shower.... and woe betide the teen who is caught with a load of damp towels on their bedroom floor...:D

BooyHoo Sun 20-Mar-11 23:35:43

Hmm, i empty the bin every evening after dinner and replace the bag. i like coming down in the morning knowing everything id fresh in the kitchen so the logical thing to do is for me to hang another bag on the door handle and any rubbish created after the bin has been emptied goes in there and is taken out to the black bin at bedtime.

i know, i am odd, i just dont like rubbish in the house overnight.

cat64 Sun 20-Mar-11 23:38:10

Message withdrawn

BooyHoo Sun 20-Mar-11 23:43:30

oh yes there is a particular way to stack dishes in my drainer. anything else is wrong (ds is learning this grin)

EXp used to leave the dirty dishwater in the sink. WHY???

MaisyMooCow Sun 20-Mar-11 23:56:15

Oh yes, I get 'I've just emptied that!' As if you're now no longer allowed to put anything in it !!!

JockTamsonsBairns Sun 20-Mar-11 23:58:50

Another of my mum's pearls of wisdom as we were growing up - she would never buy plasters as we'd "just cut ourselves until they were finished" shock.

Also, not technically a house rule, but whenever we have a family day out to the coast in the summer, I see it as being par for the course that we have fish and chips for tea. Yes, DH, that's fish - not chicken/sausage/pie or whatever as that's just wrong. I simply can't allow him to order anything other than fish, that's how it's always been and that's how it will remain.

<control freak>

seeker Mon 21-Mar-11 00:02:57

Our univeral rule is "Don't be a Dingbat"

Covers everything.

magickcat Mon 21-Mar-11 00:20:53

While having sex with my dh once he heard dd go to the loo and forget to wash her hands.. so he refused to continue until I had gone and got her back up out of bed to wash them... I mean I'm all for being clean but it was hardly going to kill her, whereas I very nearly killed him. Lets just say it sort of ruined the mood.. hmm

BooyHoo Mon 21-Mar-11 00:25:52

magic, why did you have to go and make her clean them? why not him if it bothered him so much?

Bogeyface Mon 21-Mar-11 00:36:39

BooyHoo, perhaps because by the time the DH was ermm......decent, she would have been in bed asleep?! I would have told him to sod off personally, but there you go!

BooyHoo Mon 21-Mar-11 00:41:43

good point bogey but wasn't the OP 'indecent' at that point aswell though?

GloriaSmut Mon 21-Mar-11 00:51:48

You see I can sort of see the logic about the bin. Sunday night is bin night here and I get fairly irritated when DP waits until all the bins and wastepaper baskets have been emptied and then chooses to dispose of his secret collection of Turkish Delight wrappers. There's been all fucking afternoon, fgs!

cumfy Mon 21-Mar-11 00:58:52

This used to be a very common family rule when I was growing up; none of my friends could divine the logic either.

BatFlattery Mon 21-Mar-11 01:17:32

My Mum has kitchen roll on the worktop like most people - however, this is the 'posh' kitchen roll and only for display purposes. The 'everyday use' kitchen roll is kept hidden away in a cupboard grin

These are great.

My mum adheres to care labels on clothes very strictly. In other words one was not permitted to wash 40 with 40 with two lines under garments. This means it takes forever and a day to get enough together for a full load of laundry. She is still all shock when she hears about how I do mine. My lack of respect of the care label means that I was not allowed to do any laundry at home.

Livinginoz Mon 21-Mar-11 04:28:14

My mum would only let us cook things from the cupboard at lunch time on school holidays. So we could have beans/soup and toast, but not oven chips from the freezer or fresh meat in the fridge. hmm

We don't have any silly rules in our house, but i am worried about the anal-ness of our 2yo. We live in a rented apartment that has 3 hand towel rings in the bathroom. DS freaked out the other day because the only handtowel was on the left side ring and not the middle one! confused

tabbyH Mon 21-Mar-11 07:13:37

MIL was a war baby and therefore nothing is wasted, apparently!

ChippingInMistressSteamMop Mon 21-Mar-11 07:25:39


TYV - actually, once you said 'The PILs flushed' I remembered the thread! I think my brain had filed it away under 'wtf'... grin Do you remember the poster who blended/liquidised everything first!?!?! I guess it makes sense... but I can barely be bothered to use those appliances to prepare dinner, let alone to dispose of it!! Weirdos!!

We have a waste food bin which I line with special bags which compost. DH things they are a waste of money, so when he takes the ^special bag out to the green bin (seldom) he either doesn't put a special bag back in or uses an old carrier bag. We've had many arguements about this. He is the one who has to rinse it out.

SudashesaliveItakeyoutoher Mon 21-Mar-11 08:53:36

Yes SLAM - I do that cos I just like the idea of everyone thinking I'm a domestic goddess and am up cleaning and cooking breakfast when in fact I'm having a lie in blush. Also love the sun pouring in when I go down - just find drawn curtains depressing somehow.

Re the bin situation. On the day our bins are emptied I clean out all the bins in the house and will fiercely guard the kitchen bin and put everything in a carrier bag right up to the binmen coming - late afternoon usually - in order to preseve the lovely emptiness and lemon fragrance of my shiny squeaky clean 50 ltr stainless steel bin.

Yes I know I am a saddo and really should get out more.

But then if I went out 'the others' could be putting anything in my lovely clean bin - scraping beans into it even <shudders>

Skinit Mon 21-Mar-11 09:02:41 MIL does that....that bin did my bloody head in!

SudashesaliveItakeyoutoher Mon 21-Mar-11 09:16:22

...ponders getting a seperate food bin just like KREECHERs and SKINITs M-I-L.

Oh the freedom of it - I can see it now - being able to leave my kitchen bin unattended and leave the house on bin day and everything ! Safe in the knowledge my bin will only ever get clean dry rubbish thrown in it and no smelly gunky food products.

Must phone my therapist - how exciting grin

GooseyLoosey Mon 21-Mar-11 09:25:14

I have lots of rules - I love rules!

A sample of them is as follows:

1. Close doors after you (the call of "Door!!!!" is often to be heard echoing around my cold draughty house).

2. If anything of yours is on the stairs to go upstairs, take it up with you or at the end of the day, mummy will put it in the bin.

3. Do not leave things on the floor. See 2. for consequences.

4. Do not leave dirty clothes anywhere other than the washing basket or they will be put away - unwashed.


wendylovesbob Mon 21-Mar-11 09:28:52

My FiL does the curtain thing too - opens them just before going to bed. He also sets the breakfast table before bed. And everything from a meal has to be washed, dried and put away before we're allowed to move on to pudding.

wendylovesbob Mon 21-Mar-11 09:29:49

Yes but Goosey those are all quite sensible rules.

eatyourveg Mon 21-Mar-11 09:31:41

we have a poo rule as well - only wees allowed upstairs, poos are for downstairs.

Also upstairs loo is out of bounds at night and downstairs you can only flush the chain in the night for poos, wees wait till the morning.

SudashesaliveItakeyoutoher Mon 21-Mar-11 09:32:45

I do number 4 GOOSEY - always thought it was the wicked evil stepmother in me (have a slob adult resident ss) but now youve made me realise it is just a perfectly reasonable house rule. Thank you !

[exonerated emoticon]

Blatherskite Mon 21-Mar-11 09:39:12

We have the special food waste bin bags too. CBA with washing out the bloody thing every time otherwise.

FIL refuses to use the food waste bin system (silver bin in the kitchen, big green wheely bin outside) as apparently putting food waste out will attract rats.

Quite how rats are going to be more attracted to an f-in' great wheely bin than his totally open compost area or the bare, black bin bags that he chooses to use instead is beyond me confused

I'd love it if I could ban DH from using the bathroom for a while after I've cleaned as he tends to think my sparkly clean bathroom is a great place to shave and it's always covered in dark whiskers within hours of me scrubbing it sad

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 21-Mar-11 09:41:54

I loathe it when I have washed all the towels, and they are all folded nicely with set square precision in the airing cupboard, and then some bastard has a bath and uses one of the towels.

I have shrieked before 'don't mess up the towels' at very confuddled DD/DP.

I am only one step away from being a loon who has towels for best (which I will never allow anyone to use).

SudashesaliveItakeyoutoher Mon 21-Mar-11 09:54:11


'..and then some bastard has a bath and uses one of the towels'

grinbrilliant - would you like the number of my therapist - then we could both step away from our respective pile of clean towels and kitchen bin and go for a coffee - just one step further away every week.

We could help each other ! grin

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 21-Mar-11 09:57:28


My family are used to my rants, they just completely ignore me now.

I have a dictat that nothing is to be left on the kitchen surfaces - so the kettle should be put in the cupboard after use. DD and DP just leave it there, and i always put it in the cupboard, chuntering away. How can I have a perfect minimalist life with those 2 around?

<books therapist>

MisSalLaneous Mon 21-Mar-11 10:04:16

Dh is obsessed about stacking the dishwasher in a certain way. I can never quite figure it out <<lies through teeth>>, so now leave him to it. grin

I hate towels on the ground, and if I find any, I have to wash them, even if only used once.

Oh, and I can kill dh if he cleans up any spills with toilet paper instead of kitchen towel. Why why why would you do that?! Oh, and when he tries to give kitchen towels instead of napkins at lunch.

shaz298 Mon 21-Mar-11 10:19:03

We have lots but one ( unspoken rule) that's not been mentioned is:

The toilet roll has to be on the holder the right way around...........with the paper coming over the top, towards the front.

My Ds came home from schoo the other day exclaiming he had to take the toilet roll off in the schol toilet, why? because it was the wrong way around - what a good boy

Shaz, that goes without saying. Even our DD knows about the divorce that was the result of wrong toilet paper direction. Unfortunately we have a dodgy loo roll holder that allows the roll to slip off onto the floor. Putting it back in the dark sometimes results in wrong way hangage. If DD goes into that toilet first, she thinks theres about to be a family schism.
She is particularly sensitive due to her and me leaving DH for a year.

shaz298 Mon 21-Mar-11 10:37:37

Oh dear, and I thought I had it bad! Lesson learned though I take it?x

Divorce was the parents of a friend at school. DD is a bit raingirl in some ways. She remembers things that I've said years later. It can come back to bit you on the arse.

tookoolforskool Mon 21-Mar-11 10:48:48

haha. My mum has a odd bin thing.

lovey nice 50l bin. All shiney in the corner of the kitchen.

noone is allowed to use it in case they mess it up.
So instead she washes recycling up and stacks it on the top in some kind of tower.

other rubbish gets but in a carrier bag which is hung on the door handle in a very attractive and classy fashion.


tookoolforskool Mon 21-Mar-11 10:52:16

oh and i dont like people sitting on the cushions on the sofa.
they are for backs. not arses. People just come in and sit on them and squash them and then leave and my poor cushions are all squished.
if i do ask them to not sit on the cushions they look at me like im weird.
i am not weird
cushions on sofas are for backs!!!

DarkSkies Mon 21-Mar-11 10:55:23

manchestermummy - what on earth is 40 degrees with 2 lines under it please?

I assumed it was some sort of fancy pants washing instructions. All our stuff goes in on a 40 degree wash without two lines under it.

theyoungvisiter Mon 21-Mar-11 10:59:22

darkskies - I think it means delicates?

You lot are all NUTS. Seriously. If I see a cushion I presume it was put there for the express intention of making me comfy in whatever way I see fit, even if that means nesting in them.

You put your kettle in the cupboard, Getorf? confused

tookoolforskool Mon 21-Mar-11 11:10:19

yes, but who sits on top of cushions on a sofa..
its weird.
they should move them.


i do have a best cushion. and then there are middly ones and the least liked ones. i dont mind so much if someone squashes a not so liked one. but if they sit on the best one i am quite annoyed!

i should stop talking now shouldnt i.

theyoungvisiter Mon 21-Mar-11 11:12:14

tookool - they might have a haemorrhoid or any number of reasons for wanting a softer landing! grin

I think if a guest in your house needs a cushion to feel comfortable then you should smile and suck it up.

travellingwilbury Mon 21-Mar-11 11:13:45

My mum used to put her toaster in the cupboard , weirdo .

Also if she had cleaned the front room you then had to stay out of it until the evening in case you messed it up .

It has made me slovenly .

wolfhound Mon 21-Mar-11 11:14:12

I would secretly like no-one to touch anything in the house on Wednesdays after the cleaner has been. ESPECIALLY no-one to eat anything or prepare any food in the kitchen, and no-one to go into the living room. Obviously this does not happen. But my dream is to have just me creeping around a perfectly clean and tidy house all afternoon and evening. I realise this is pathetic.

comewhinewithme Mon 21-Mar-11 11:22:35

DP we have two downstairs loo's. One in bathroom and one near the back door. The back door is DP's loo he is not allowed to poo in the bathroom one as he blocks it and makes the hallway stink <boak>.

My Mum used to fill up the fruitbowl and then complain if we had an apple as she wanted it to look nice for a while.

We were only allowed pure OJ for breakfast (didn't stop her guzzling it down all the time though).

My dparents also put the toaster in the cupboard. It used to drive me nuts. I now rejoice in my toaster on the worktop but am aware that I only allow the toaster and the kettle on there hmm

SudashesaliveItakeyoutoher Mon 21-Mar-11 11:24:11

I can get you theatre slippers { I work in a hospital ) WOLFHOUND [grins]

Think I might need a box full with you lot - anyone else ? Surgical gloves anyone ??

SudashesaliveItakeyoutoher Mon 21-Mar-11 11:24:51

[grins] testing.

SudashesaliveItakeyoutoher Mon 21-Mar-11 11:27:44

grin - as you were - dont know where that s came from. Going for a lie down now.

One rule of mine is windows have to be open, in the day time, whatever the weather, when I/we go out the windows are left locked but on the latch so that they are open slightly. Closed at night in the winter but mine and DH's bedroom windows open at night in the summer.
Reading that back I fear I am a bit odd as DH and my very lovely neighbour tells me I am blush

4FoxAche Mon 21-Mar-11 11:32:37

I didn't think I had any silly house rules but I'm definitely one of those who has a problem with the toilet roll being put on the holder wrong.

Like someone already said (sorry can't remember) it has to be going over the top and down the front.

Never thought that was a silly rule though blush

My Dss thinks I have silly rules though because I ask him to hang up his coat instead of throwing it over the sofa, put his shoes in the cupboard instead of leaving them on the floor, hang towels up to dry instead of throwing them on the bathroom floor.

I was duely informed once, whilst he was picking up said towels that "this is silly" I don't have to do this at home. Mum does it for me"

Oh what a 9yr old will do to get out of picking up after himself. grin

PureBloodMuggle Mon 21-Mar-11 11:36:36

My mother is a clear kitchen surface loon. On making a piece of toast whilst last visiting her, I mistakingly place a plate on the work surface, whilst waiting for the toaster to toast (hidden away in a small room off the kitchen (aka 'the pantry')

When I went to collect the toast I came back to find the plate disappeared (Christ knows how she did it she wasn't even in the kitchen or anywhere near so I thought)

Next time (if I dare make toast again) I shall not be so stupid and bring the plate, that i've just taken out of the draw and not sully the surfaces also it'd save my fingers from the hot toast too. Two birds with one stone and all that.

I don't have any weird rules, more anti anything my mum did that it thought was odd growing up (ie don't anyone DARE put my washing up liquid and dishclothes in the cupboard under the sink and hide the damp tea towels in a 'special place' either!!)

Heifer Mon 21-Mar-11 11:38:57

I think I am too much of a slattern to have any rules really..

If I had to have 1, it would be

Under no circumstances should you ever pee in the bath or shower

when I am in there

PureBloodMuggle Mon 21-Mar-11 11:39:03

Just thought of another!!!!

Don't like it when people wrap the plug chain around the tap in the bath room (the bit that sticks over the sink and the water comes out of if it has a name) it has to go around the base of the tap and the plug bit hang down into the sink or at least away from the general area where I might be holding my tooth brush to rinse it

I understand that one shaz to the extent that if some poor disillusioned soul has their loo paper the wrong way round in their home, I promptly sort it out for them. I am awaiting thanks from many, many much improved householders.

tookool I know!! Cushions are not for sitting on!!

Oooh, and the oven. My DH isn't allowed to use the oven after I've cleaned it (which, to be honest, isn't very often )

Skinit Mon 21-Mar-11 12:11:26

Carrots...I have started to put my toaster MIL does it and it's one habit that I agree with. Th bloody thing is ugly and massive! It's only used once a day...whay have it out for 23 hours when it's only used for one?

Oh no Skinit! There lies the path of burnt fingers and toast crumbs on the work top, across the work top, on the floor and in the cupboard!
In my dparents' house you had to do it fast or my ddad would freak out about it being on the work top. Mind you he will take your meal plate out from under you and wash it while you have your fork in your mouth and lay the breakfast table while you are still sitting there eating your yogurt! grin
What makes me laugh is they have all sort of unnecessary nonsense on the worktop. It is not minimal by any stretch of the imagination... but woe betide you if you leave the toaster there! hmm

NeverGoogleZombieJuice Mon 21-Mar-11 12:24:37

Always, always, always use the spoon for the sugar first when making coffee - I go mad when I see coffee granules in the sugar. This was instilled in my brain when I was little. Good sense actually IMO

pawsnclaws Mon 21-Mar-11 12:33:00

My MIL has lots of these rules, and it just makes visits really uncomfortable.

For example - after using the bathroom sink to wash your hands, you have to dry the sink and soap carefully with a piece of toilet roll.

You must always use the correct hoover for the correct area of the house. Even the garage is carpeted and has its own hoover.

DH remembers when they were young his mum had a phobia of leaving any laundry in the house while they were away - so for the 2 days before they left she used to make everyone (adults included) wear paper pants that could be discarded as they left. That is honestly true.

BooyHoo Mon 21-Mar-11 12:37:38

i put the toaster in the cupboard blush

the rest of my house is a tip but the toaster always goes in the cupboard.

Nooooooo! Paper pants??!! ROFL - your poor DH, that's years of therapy, surely?!

BooyHoo Mon 21-Mar-11 12:41:19

my toilet roll is also positioned the correct way on the holder. as are the toilet rolls of any houses i have needed to use the bathroom in recently smile

but shock at having a carpeted garage!!

whatsallthehullaballoo Mon 21-Mar-11 12:42:43

My mum and dad would only buy No Frill Orange squash. WHen I asked for blackcurrent one day she said "No - It will just get drunk too"!
We hated orange squash.

PlanetEarth Mon 21-Mar-11 12:42:55

Drying the soap confused? That is hilarious! Paper pants? shock

sterrryerryoh Mon 21-Mar-11 12:45:57

My sister still lives with my Mum and Dad, and she loves coming to my house because she's "allowed to use the dishwasher" at my house.

At her house, no one is allowed to use the dishwasher once it's "been cleaned" - and I mean glistening, sparklingly cleaned

My sister protested that there's no point having a dishwasher that she's not allowed to use, so now there are 2 additions to the rule

1) You may use it if you have enough pots to completely fill it in one sitting (ie - do NOT put pots in, and then leave them in there all dirty and festering) like I do with my dishwasher

2) once you have used it, you must clean and dry it!

I take advantage of this situation, by "allowing" her to use my dishwasher as frequently as she would like to....

BooyHoo Mon 21-Mar-11 12:47:24

you are a good sister sterrry. grin

PureBloodMuggle Mon 21-Mar-11 12:48:04

How do you manage to dry the soap with toilet paper - doesn't it get stuck to it?!!!

Drying soap, hoovers for different parts pf the house and paper pants pawsnclaws you MIL is a 'special' woman shock

I sat there open mouthed at the paper pants and soap. I know that the toilets on airplanes advise you that the next occupant would thank you for wiping the sink with some paper towel or something along those lines. Is your MiL a frustrated air hostess?

sterrryerryoh Mon 21-Mar-11 12:52:11

Well, I like to help out where possible, BooyHoo

pawsnclaws Mon 21-Mar-11 12:55:22

My MIL is indeed "special". The technique with the soap is to lightly pat. We tried buying liquid soap once but she wasn't having any of that. Not hygienic apparently.

Before my FIL retired he used to have one fried egg and two rashers of bacon each morning, cooked by MIL. To "save time" in the morning, the night before she would lay the two rashers on a plate, cover with clingfilm, crack the egg into a cup, cover with clingfilm, and set said items in the fridge. Because getting two rashers of bacon out and cracking an egg into a pan takes so much time, right? hmm

Honestly, this little lot is the tip of the iceberg. DH is remarkably normal, considering she actually hoovers us out of the house as we leave. [That's true as well - we literally have to walk backwards out of the front door as the hoover is pushed menacingly towards us so that all traces of our visit are removed].

Blatherskite Mon 21-Mar-11 12:57:34

NeverGoogleZombieJuice I have a separate sugar pot for Tea/coffee drinkers because the double-dip (where they put sugar in, then stir, then go back for more) makes me feel ill. They are not allowed to sully my nice, clean, pure sugar with their damp spoons.

I don't drink tea or coffee myself as the smell makes me sick which is probably where this one comes from.

Glad to see everyone has their loo roll round the right way too. MIL insists on folding hers into a point too!!

onepieceoflollipop Mon 21-Mar-11 13:09:54

paws shock She sounds very odd. Is she nice in other ways?

My ils insist on giving my dcs large mugs brimming over with juice or another drink. Dh and I used to say politely to just half fill. Trouble is, when the dcs inevitably spill a drop or two this is treated as a major drama and inconvenience. It is very frustrating.

Once when we were there dd1 who was about 5 at the time politely enquired if she could get the toys out (it is one small box of baby toys, we are not especially welcome at the ils)

Anyway fil was completely astounded by her unreasonable request. He would not let her get the toys out "because grandma's friends are coming soon and grandma doesn't want them to see toys out, she wants them to see the clean carpet".

It is only very recently (and she is 7) that she has been permitted to use the bathroom unaccompanied at their house. Quite what they thought she would do/spoil up there is beyond me. She is able to go for a wee and wash her hands independently, and has done so for the past 4 years.

nobodysmama Mon 21-Mar-11 13:09:59

At my Mum's house you are not allowed to eat in the living room. This is in case crumbs, or worse "fruit acid" hmm, drop onto the nice new carpet. The only people who live there are her, my dad and my brother who is 28 i.e. three adults who you would think could generally be trusted not to spill food. Needless to say, this rule is ignored when she is not around.

Needanewname Mon 21-Mar-11 13:21:49

Thank you thank you thank you! I knew I wasn;t mad!!!!!

I hate it when DH and DDs come in on Weds and ruin my nicely cleaner cleaned house.

It also pisses me of when DH sits on one particular cushion on the floor instead of the other more tatty ones!

I would love somewhere to put toaster and kettle so my surfaces were clear, but think that DH might have me sectioned if I even suggested it!

I even like the towels just for show idea.

Oh dear, there's no h ope for me is there!

To be fair, this is the first time I've admitted this to anyone, so maybe I;m OK grin

CailinBainne Mon 21-Mar-11 13:29:49

ours are boring

Shoes off when you come in (we live on a smallholding with lots of animals and manure though)

Shut the DOOR ! (otherwise said animals come in the house)

No poos in the downstairs toilet (the flush is woeful and they stay there)

If you want something washing put it in the wash-bin

First up in the morning makes the tea (my favourite this one)

catinboots Mon 21-Mar-11 13:30:42

My schoolfriend's mum used to say:

"Telephones are for messages and not for conversations" hmm

pawsnclaws Mon 21-Mar-11 13:32:37

Ohhh it's a slippery slope, needanewname. One minute you're admiring your show towels, the next your DIL is publicly mocking you and your eight hoovers on mumsnet .....

onepiece she's an odd one. She loves the dcs to bits, but is just a very tense and highly strung person and cares a great deal about what people think about her and her home. She'll admit to things like keeping DH outside in the garden in his pram for 10 hours at a time as a baby so she could "get on with the housework" hmm - all a bit sad, really.

shock @ some of the rules on here!

I suppose my only one is (not very original) DP and poo related.... Poor man is now asking me in which bathroom is he allowed to poo, as depending of the time of day and the plans we have, I'll ask him to go and poo in the bathroom I'm least likely to use in the next couple of hours! grin

I too have the loo roll the "right" way around, and will get that sorted in all the bathrooms I'm using blush

buttonmoon78 Mon 21-Mar-11 13:49:23

I'm a bit hmm at all the pooing which is forbidden upstairs but allowed downstairs. In my house it's the opposite. Our downstairs loo is right next to the front door so it would be horrid if the first thing you noticed when you came into the house is a smell of poo! Also, a lot of downstairs loos are near the kitchen <boak>

My own peculiar rule is that when replacing the loo roll, the paper must hang to the front not the back. Which is perfectly normal, surely?

Needanewname Mon 21-Mar-11 13:50:39


Honest I haven't done any of them yet, its just all in my head!

Yes buttonmoon that's perfectly normal (wink)

sorry wink !

buttonmoon78 Mon 21-Mar-11 13:56:38

Exactly tryingveryhard. My friend says otherwise the puppies on the Andrex rolls are standing on their heads.

Now that's bonkers grin

zebedeethezebra Mon 21-Mar-11 14:00:13

Toilet lid must be left down.

annabelflowers Mon 21-Mar-11 14:02:39

My Dh has a rule that the dryer is never EVER to be used. No matter what the weather. He stacks clothes crumpled as they come out of the washing machine onto the kitchen table and leaves them like that until they are dry. I have to then wet them again in order to iron. It drives mefucking crazy, but if i use the dryer it drives him crazy.

So I no have a complicated system where as soon as he goes out to walk the dogs or to his volunteer work on Thursdays i re-rinse everything in the washing machine and dry and dry. However, when i am caught he goes nuts so i also have to empty the lint filter and the water collector every time.

The secretive drying is the only secret in our marriage though. grin

buttonmoon78 Mon 21-Mar-11 14:06:17

I have a dryer too annabel. Mine lives in our garage which is about 30 feet from our house and has no power.

It has never been used...

annabelflowers Mon 21-Mar-11 14:07:54


BlingLoving Mon 21-Mar-11 14:15:41

DH's rule is that we can't use a cloth for kitchen surfaces more than once or twice and definitely not after it's been used for anything else, even simple things like rinsing a glass! I indulge him by buying dettol wipes for kitchen surfaces.

Mine is that there must always be enough milk for tea in the morning. I don't care how desperately you want a cup of hot chocoalte tonight, leave enough for tea.

buttonmoon78 Mon 21-Mar-11 14:16:25

What makes that worse is that I am something of a freak about fuel bills - we ended the winter in credit for goodness sake, and we pay less than £70 per month DD for gas & elec combined so it's not as if I want it on all the time. Just when it's persisting it down outside and none of the 5 (soon to be 6) have any clean dry clothes!

But obviously, if let loose with a dryer, well, who knows where it will end...? hmm

halfcaffodils Mon 21-Mar-11 14:19:16

DH is more concerned about maintaining the tidiness of the garage when he has tidied it, than any other area of the house. He has moved an empty gerbil cage from storage in the garage to the spare bedroom!
I am also a bit mad before the cleaner comes ('Everything off the floor! Tidy up!') and after ('No eating anywhere but the kitchen table! Shoes off on the doormat!) The rest of the time I am quite slovenly.

CuppaTeaJanice Mon 21-Mar-11 14:20:09

My aunt doesn't have a single bin in her house. So if you want to throw something away, you have to root out the back door key from the bottom of a drawer, then put on your shoes, go outside, walk across the patio to the bin and deposit the rubbish.

Many times I have had to sneak through the living room past the entire family with used sanitary protection concealed up my sleeve because there is no bin in either the bathroom or the guest bedroom. blush

Seems many people have bin issues....

halfcaffodils Mon 21-Mar-11 14:23:20

buttonmoon78 I agree about the pooing by the front door - my dh insists on using that one for his excessively smelly carnivorous poos, and abhors the use of the ensuite for the purpose. I am the opposite. And of course my poo doesn't even smell...Grrrrr.

buttonmoon78 Mon 21-Mar-11 14:25:19

Mine does - of roses grin

altinkum Mon 21-Mar-11 14:26:55

I have loads blush

No sitting on the bed after Ive made it.

Dishes always in the dishwasher.

At no point does any of the children touch the mirrors.

And shockingly once I clean the bath I have to be the first to use it hmm.

You need to put your food down caffodils.
I made such a big thing about DP's horrid smelly poos (constand nagging / fake boaking and all that kinda' stuff) until he gave in. And he's one of those who are so proud of their turds and was known to gather his family in the loo to admire his "bridge" poo!!!

I meant put your foot down!

Happymummy2011 Mon 21-Mar-11 14:29:38

My ex (i say again, ex) husband treated the dishwasher like it was a God. After I had loaded it, he would riffle through it, pulling things out exclaiming "well this doesnt need to go in here, you could handwash this!". He was extraordinary.

JockTamsonsBairns Mon 21-Mar-11 14:43:17

shock I thought I was the only person indulging in secret tumble drying. I have it all timed down to a fine art, so that it's cooled back down in time for DH's return from work/dog walking. He's happy, safe in the knowledge that the offending item, which "just uses electricity" is surplus to our requirements. Does he really think that in this household of 5 people, including a toddler and a baby, that I'm hanging up every bloody sock, bib, etc to dry naturally!?

ihatethecold Mon 21-Mar-11 14:44:07

nutters.. the lot of you.wink

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 21-Mar-11 14:48:42

Yes - the kettle goes back in the cupboard after each use.

I used to have this rule with the toaster - however I was sick of the thing vomiting crumbs everywhere. So I threw it in a neighbours skip. You now use the grill in the oven for toast.

There is nothing on the worktops. Nowt. Clean minimalist lines. Until my beloved family members leave the kettle out again. And then I holler at them. And then they flick v signs behind my back, presumably. grin

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney Mon 21-Mar-11 14:52:11

pawsnclaws, your mil is seriously demented no? leaving her baby uncared for and uncuddled, for hours to do housework? that is psych time for me! very very sad but glad to hear your dh is ok!

i concur on the loo roll right way round and shoes off at the door, but don't really have any other rules. Except that you MUST put the lid down on the washingup liquid bottle after using it. It really irritates drives me to screaming point when dh uses my lovely Ecover to wash his hands, because he can't be bothered to walk three feet to the downstairs loo, and then doesn't put the lid back on! angry

just not bothered about cushions, towels, hoovering guests out of the door or paper pants tho! (lmao at that one, another one for therapy there!)

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney Mon 21-Mar-11 14:57:26

ps getorf i love you and your posts, but now think you are just a little teensy bit more bonkers than i first thought ... the daily sheets i could overlook but kettle in cupboard? too much! grin

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 21-Mar-11 14:59:51

I know, I probably am a bit mad <twitch>

Everything else in my life is normal. I just had a new kitchen and liked the minimal look of it. If you look in any of my kitchen drawers or cupboards it is a chaotic mess, though, where everything gets shoved in.

Mitzimaybe Mon 21-Mar-11 15:02:21

After doing the weekly shop, if I started nibbling at something while helping her put it away, my mum would say "I didn't buy that food just for you to eat it, you know..."

I have the messiest house ever but if my bf puts something where it doesn't "belong", I will tut and move it.

Peetle Mon 21-Mar-11 15:08:23

We have three laundry baskets (white, coloured and black - about £2 from Ikea in case anyone thinks we're posh). My DW is obsessed with "finishing" the laundry so on the rare occasions when all three are empty I have to put dirty laundry in a heap next to them. When the heap gets quite large she will then sort it out and probably put a load on.

I might add that there's probably a fairly even distribution of laundry, drying, sorting and putting away in our house; I'm not one of those husbands who believes in the laundry fairy. The kids do, but then they're 3.

MissJanuary Mon 21-Mar-11 15:17:02

In our house I get a little bit crazy if you

use kitchen roll to blow your nose - use a Kleeenex hankie, there is a big stock of them

if you chop on the chopping board please clean crumbs and other bits immediately otherwise I cannot put anything down on it when its crummy from when you used it

if you place handbags/laptop bags on top of the dinner table, put them on the floor please

I think thats my 3 worst ones

and breatheeeeeeeeeeeeee

surfandturf Mon 21-Mar-11 15:23:11

My DH always cuts his hair using hair hair clippers the day after I've vacuumed the bedroom and leaves his hair all over the carpet - it drives me nuts!

I also like my loo roll and everyone else's to be on the right way round and I hide my washing up liquid and dish cloth under the sink smile

iamamug Mon 21-Mar-11 15:37:22

I can't use a dishcloth more than once - I have to put them to be washed.
My DH insists on leaving washing up liquid out on the window sill - I constantly put it away under the sink.
This can happen several times a day - 18 years and neither one of us will give in!
I would dearly love a minimalist house but with 3 boys, 2 big hairy dogs and an untidy DH - it will never be.

I also have a poo issue - we have 3 loos and DH won't use the en suite as it is next to his office ,
I don't like him using the one by the front door for same reasons as everyone else so I have to chase him into the main bathroom.

Also - why would anyone not have the loo roll coming over the top??
I change them everywhere I go - WEIRDO!

takethatlady Mon 21-Mar-11 15:41:58

I am reading this thread and thinking what a complete slob I am.

DH is always telling me off for 1. Leaving my straighteners and hair dryer out so that he trips over the wires when he walks into the bedroom. 2. making piles and piles of clothes all over the bedroom, mixing clean and dirty. 3. putting my shoes and bags on the bottom of the stairs which is a massive hazard for anyone going up or down them. 4. not washing up my cereal bowl so that it gets hard, dried Weetabix or whatever in it. 5. leaving the bathroom scales in the middle of the bathroom floor once I've weighed myself. 6. Borrowing his tweezers/nail clippers/little scissors and forgetting where I've put them. 7. Losing my keys, phone, purse, bag, etc, and then asking him to look for them because I haven't put them away properly. 8. Putting washing in the machine and then forgetting to get it out, so he ends up doing it and hanging it all up for me. 9. Waiting hours when we get home from shopping before putting food away. This is my fault because it's my job to put food away. DH cleans the bathroom, does the washing up, does the bins, the garden, and most of the washing. And I cook, hoover, and put the shopping away. So I've already got a good deal.

Etc etc etc. He's very mild mannered about all this, but I am realising I am probably driving him to distraction with my low standards!

I, on the other hand, get mildly irritated by DH taking his socks off when he gets home to put clean ones on and leaving the dirty ones down the back of the sofa or in little piles in the living room. I also get annoyed that he insists on turning everything off by the plug so that I'm always clambering to sockets down the back of items of furniture just to turn a lamp on, or trying to record something on the DVD player only to realise it's time/date info has been lost again. That's about it. Oh yes, and when DH makes toast or sandwiches for himself he always leaves the butter, the knife, and the marmite or whatever it is out and undone on the kitchen surface.

Our house really must be a crap hole compared to all of yours!!!

ifancyashandy Mon 21-Mar-11 15:44:41

Loo roll hangs underneath and anyone who says other wise is wrong.


evansmummy Mon 21-Mar-11 15:45:18

Yes, DH is not allowed to shave his head or face the day or day after I've deep-cleaned the bathroom.

Toilet roll must naturally be on with the loose bit hanging at the front.

There is a system, people, for the dishwasher, and I will move things that do not obey the system. For example, in the cutlery basket, one hole is for knives, one for forks, one for sharp knives etc.

There is a special sponge for surfaces, and a separate one for washing-up. They must not be used the wrong way around.

Toilets must not be used for 6 hours after they have been cleaned to give time for the bleach to work. I put a note on the toilet 'Please Do Not Use' to ensure this.

My Word, I sound totally neurotic...

pawsnclaws Mon 21-Mar-11 15:45:21

Toomuch (love the name btw) yes my MIL has some pretty deep-seated issues. When I expressed complete horror at leaving a baby alone outside for hours, and said but didn't he cry, she said - exact words - "they soon stop crying when they realise you're not coming to get them."

Sadly at the age of 80 and having had a pretty tense and miserable life, she's beyond changing. Luckily DH and his brother reacted against it rather than being seriously affected by it!

golemmings Mon 21-Mar-11 15:48:48

If its on the stairs, then take it with you when you pass because it needs a lift up. Don't walk past it whinging that SHE'S left stuff on the stairs again; its a death trap; somebody will have an accident...

It's not rocket science.

And I confess to rarely cleaning the kitchen floor because it always seems to be nearly time to cook in our hours and that means it'll get covered in crap again. It seems ungrateful, and somewhat self defeating, not to mention hungry making, to tell DH that he can't cook my tea for me because I've cleaned the floor...

Peetle Mon 21-Mar-11 15:48:50

I should not have started reading this thread. I've realised it's me with the issues in our house, not my DW:

Dishcloths - wet, for wiping dirty things up and doing the washing up (washed out thoroughly and hung to dry afterwards of course).
Tea towels - dry, for drying things that are wet. Never, ever for wiping things up.
There must also be a towel available in the kitchen for wet hands; dry your wet washing up hands on a tea towel and it's too wet to dry the dishes.

I will fight people to load the dishwasher; there's a real art to getting stuff in and remember how the water moves so you don't end up with things either unwashed or full of murky water when it's finished.

How long have I got ?

missjanuary can you have a word with my DH - he uses the kitchen roll to blow his nose [WTF??!] AND the kids' noses if I don't catch him in time.

And he opens envelopes really weirdly - not along the top where they've been sealed, but along the side and then leaves the half-jaggedy torn envelope on the side rather than putting it in the recycling bin angry

Oh, and re: pooing in the right loo - my FIL came to stay recently after the birth of our DC. I said I was going to bed in a moment, so he heads upstairs and does a big, smelly poo in the upstairs loo shock which is RIGHT NEXT TO MY BEDROOM, and leaves poo stains in the loo!!!angry angry hmm angry angry

Amen to that "^If its on the stairs, then take it with you when you pass because it needs a lift up. Don't walk past it^" golemmings >>nods furiously to self<<

empirestateofmind Mon 21-Mar-11 16:00:53

I also don't like it when visitors put handbags (that I have seen them put on the floor out and about) on my dining table or kitchen worktop. I wait until they've gone before getting out the anti bacterial spray though.

Rules in our house:

1) Wash your hands when you get home (we live on the equator- lots of bugs around us)
2) Take your shoes off (obviously)
3) When walking around do not go too close to dirty bins with your long blond hair all flicking around, keep at a safe distance. DDs think I am bonkers but humour me.
4) Avoid all toilet brushes. Yuk.

I thought I was normal
1) we have a toaster but this is not to be used. toast must be done under the grill.
2) all knives must face the same way in the drawer.
3) only the towel on the rail in the bathroom is to be used the others are for fancy.
4) everyone must sit down when going for a wee.
5) the children must only eat and drink at their table.
6) washing can't be dried outside it makes it smell funny.

There are loads more blush

Just curious, I know this is a MN oldie, how can you avoid toilet brushes? How do you clean the poo stains off the toilet?

Blimey onehellofaride shock !!!

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 21-Mar-11 16:27:39

onehellofaride - you are me (apart from the outside drying)

yet the only thing my DH complains about is the fact that everything has to be turned off at the socket at bedtime/when we go out because the Sky box takes ten minutes to load when its turned back on confused

Blatherskite Mon 21-Mar-11 16:41:22


1) Then why have a toaster? Bin it.
2) Sensible
3) When is fancy? Do the 'fancy' towels ever get used? If not, see #1
4) Sensible
5) Sensible
6) It smells fresh not funny

1)my MIL bought the toaster (need I say more)
3)not really tbh they just look much nicer as a set
6)it smells of nothing really and I like the washing to smell of fabric softner grin

Riddo Mon 21-Mar-11 16:58:48

Take your shoes off when you come in - everyone does it EXCEPT DH - drives me bonkers.

I have to admit that I'm twitching today because both dc's are at home ill which means I've missed my wonderful Monday afternoon, post cleaner, when I just wander around appreciating how clean and tidy everywhere is.

I love the idea of "If it's yours and still on the stairs at bedtime, it goes in the bin".

I already recycle any paperwork left lying around by DH, after a couple of warnings - I'm not completely unreasonable grin

theyoungvisiter Mon 21-Mar-11 17:10:51

"6) washing can't be dried outside it makes it smell funny."

SO WRONG!!! I love the smell of line-dried washing. Tumble-drier-smell gives me the heebie-jeebies, even moreso if one of those icky sheet things have been used. [shudder]

colditz Mon 21-Mar-11 17:15:30

I wouldn't visit ANY of you more than once.

IlsaLund Mon 21-Mar-11 17:22:08

I don't think I have many

All house windows must be opened for some time durint the day - all day if it is nice weather, half an hour on a horrid day

After a bath the bathmat has to be hung up (on the bannisters) and the bathroom window must be opened, but the door closed.

I'm shocked by the people who have to do stealth-tumble drying.

LeQueen Mon 21-Mar-11 17:24:12

We used to have a ginormous L-shaped, Tetrad sofa with a chaise-bit on one end. All the cushions (about 27 of them) were feather filled and they weighed a tonne.

It'd take me about half a bleddy hour to plump them all up and arrange them neatly...and then I'd sit on the floor, leaning back against the sofa, rather than flatten all the cushions again.

And, then DH would wander in and fling himself on the sofa (flattening about 11 cushions in the process) and sometimes he'd then decide that he'd rather sit on the chaise-bit instead, and get up and fling himself on that.

At which point I'd either have to leave the room, or beat him to death with the leg off the coffee table.

LeQueen Mon 21-Mar-11 17:27:42


Getorf and you have the temerity to scoff at my linen hearts fetish hmm

pinkhyena Mon 21-Mar-11 17:37:40

Some of these are so funny, really Hyacinth Bucket! I can't believe that some people have to be so secretive about using the tumble dryer though. annabel doesn't leaving them in a pile to dry make them smell horrible and damp? We couldn't live without our dryer but the only other alternative is on the radiaters which takes forever and makes the flat damp.

Also sympathise with the ladies whose DH's have turd pride, mine does big time and has been known to take a photo because "it was a monster!" biscuit

I don't have any rules but I hate it when i've just cleaned the hob and DH cooks something the splatters and he doesn't wipe it down afterwards angry

LeQueen Mon 21-Mar-11 17:47:32

My Mum's friends live their entire life adhering to all sorts of outlandish rules. I must write a book about them some day...hmm Some of my favourites are:

They have a convertible car. Every time they lower/raise the roof they make a note of the date in a little book in the glove-box (no idea why).

They have a small holiday flat on the South Coast. Whenever they leave it, they spend half a day draining all the radiators because they are paranoid about leaks.

On Bonfire Night they park their car sideways blokading their driveway, and barricade their front door with various sheets of metal/grills to ensure that no pesky kid, intent on mischeif can put a firework through their letter-box...

When they run their cold tap, to fill the kettle, they have worked out (precisely) that the first couple of litres are still a bit warm, before the water runs nice and cold. But waste not/want these two litres are carefully saved in various bottles and vases, and are used to water the plants. At any one time, there can be over a dozen containers of this water lined up next to the sink (they don't have that many plants, to be honest).

They log the mileage of every middle tolong distance journey they have ever been on. They have umpteen carefully filled in notebooks going back to about 1961...

When he handwrites anything he uses a ruler (yes, a ruler) to make sure the long strokes on ys, gs, ts, hs, ls etc are perfectly straight...

He refuses to leave their house, even for a couple of hours, on Bank Holidays, because apparantly that's when a disproportinally high amount of burglaries happen...

When they've been away from the house for a few days (obviously not over a Bank Holiday weekend) for the last few miles before they get home he actually loses the ability to speak. He gets incredibly tense and worries sick that someone has burglared them. When they pull on the drive, she has to go inside and check everything is okay, and he listens out for the sound of the alarm being deactivated, and he visibly relaxes (my Mum has witnessed this many times).

When they're parking in a car-park, he will drive round and round, and wait for ages before parking his car next to other cars which look like they're owned by safe drivers. If he can't find a suitbale space for his car, he will drive to another car-park...

There's much more, but I need to go and make dinner now.

It's actually quite sad because they're incredibly uptight and tense people, who clearly view the world as a very hostile place sad

AuntiePickleBottom Mon 21-Mar-11 17:50:22

I have 2 mops and if the kitchen mop goes in the bathroom I will buy a new pne

LittleJennyRobyn Mon 21-Mar-11 18:08:32

No one is actually allowed to use our kitchen bin for rubbish!!!
Its a large one and if food waste has been disposed of further down, it could be there a good few days before being full enough to empty and the smell used to make me gag!!
I was the only one to ever empty and clean it. Everyone else would see a full bin and rather than empty it get a carrier bag to hang on the door for thier rubbish. (or pile it on top)
So i would then have to take those bags out too.

I now use carrier bags on the door handle therefore ensuring they will get taken to the outdoor bin everyday. My kitchen bin is now used to house the carrier bags grin

MarinaIvy Mon 21-Mar-11 18:16:55

We didn't used to care, but since Bairn has become aware, we've adopted the "eat at the table" rule.

We want to make meals for togetherness and learning table manners and conversation, so we're out of our comfort zones here, but it'll be worth it.

My God, my middle name should be Slattern....

CharlieCoCo Mon 21-Mar-11 18:57:05

takethatlady-im wondering if im your ex nanny hmm

Gracie123 Mon 21-Mar-11 19:05:18

I do have fancy towels. We are on about the third set because every time DH uses them I get mad and buy new ones blush
it's wierd because I'm not really OCD about other stuff...

Gracie123 Mon 21-Mar-11 19:06:26

Actually I had to stop doing FLYlady because DH would find me crying in the morning if he'd used the sink after I shined it the night before... blush

BooyHoo Mon 21-Mar-11 19:25:51

auntie, i have four mop heads. two for the bathrooms and two for the rest of the house. each mop head does one room only and then gets washed at 95 in the machine.

takethatlady Mon 21-Mar-11 19:28:43

PMSL charliecoco, not likely - I never had a nanny grin. I'm waving at 8rubberduckies from the Jue in June thread - glad we're both slatterns together!

annabelflowers Mon 21-Mar-11 19:49:07


Yes, pinkhyena yes it does.

And, on those days when I am away for work, or in hospital, or just tired for a few days, yes, they do come out mouldy.

annabelflowers Mon 21-Mar-11 19:52:30

Oh, and last bin night I insisted on taking the binsb out--- usually DH's job. But i had left the lint fluff in it, and KNEW DH would see it in the kitchen bin so had a very complicated dance where I had to insist DH sat down, and i would get a cup of tea and do the bins as i knew how hard he had been doing this and that and the LEAST I could do was sort the bings that day. blush

Bloody exhausting sometimes.

annabelflowers Mon 21-Mar-11 19:53:49

bins not bings.

UC Mon 21-Mar-11 19:56:25

OMG LeQueen, they really are mad.

I thought we had lots of rules, but reading this, I don't think we have many actually. They are:

1) take shoes off when you come in

2)hang coats on the hooks in the cupboard - with 4 kids, if you don't, there's a MESS!

3) take your lunchbox out of your bag, and put it by the sink - if you don't, yesterday's remains will remain in your bag until you get to lunchtime tomorrow....

4)we do that "anything left lying around will get put in the bin" (by Dad) too.

5) meals at the table, not the sofa...

There are 6 of us here, without those rules, life would be too messy.

NotSoDespicableMe Mon 21-Mar-11 20:42:03

My MIL hoovers her driveway!!! Beat that!!!!!!!

BooyHoo Mon 21-Mar-11 20:50:52

despicable shock

why?? it's outside? how often does she do it? why not just brush it?

MissusF Mon 21-Mar-11 20:52:53

Towels have to be hung in alternate colours (blue, white blue white) and in descending size on the heated rail.

The pillow shams have to be straight and neat on the bed.

Curtains have to be opened as soon as we are up.

Sofa blankets have to be hung over right end of sofas.

Kitchen floor has to be mopped everyday.

breakfast table has to be laid before bed (to be fair, I am a CM and have 5 children to feed first thing)

All kids coats have to be hung up and there belongings put in their own box.

All toys have to go back in the right box, (one of my mindees is even more anal about this and will tip a whole box out to sort if something is in it that shouldn't be)

Netbook, phone, kindle in that order on table beside my chair, DH ^moves'them to put coffee down shock

Sheets must be ironed and put away in the right drawers, according to colour.

Shoes must be put in your own shoe drawer in the hallway, God help you if you put yours in mine.

Nappy basket must be filled and ready for the morning.

DH must put everything away from his table before going to bed, no cups, laptops, pens etc, left till morning.

Oh God I could go on.

I am my Mother!

I think everyone is neurotic in some ways grin

LeQueen Mon 21-Mar-11 21:02:11

Coats have to be hung on relevent hook.

Book bags have to be put neatly in relevent basket.

Lunch boxes need to be put neatly by sink

Shoes placed neatly on shoe rack.

Cushions have to be plumped and stacked library style on sofas, can't abide cushions at an angle [shudders]

Towels have to be hung neatly on heated towel rail, so they can properly air.

Magazines have to be in neat, squared-off piles.

On my dresser all mug handles need to face in same direction.

In DD's drawers school underwear and non-school underwear are in distinct separate piles. Never the twain shall meet.

All beds are left open to air for at least 20 mins every morning.

All bedroom windows left open for a few minutes every morning (even when it's snowing outside). To let fresh air in.

Throws have to be folded in a certain way, and placed over sofa arms.

My everyday make-up lives in a basket in our bathroom. I have a separate drawer filled with various cosmetics, which I use if I'm going out...God forbid if any of my Going-Out make-up gets mixed in with my everyday make-up.

I simply cannot, under any circumstances allow the girls to leave for school unless their uniforms are crisp, their hair in neat ponytails, their shoes shiney, their coats spotless..I even scrub their book-bags if they're looking grubby.

BooyHoo Mon 21-Mar-11 21:03:12

is it bad that i am taking notes from this thread? blush

LeQueen Mon 21-Mar-11 21:10:36

Only bad if it's on a scrap of paper, that'll you'll loose by tomorrow.

It's good if you're writing them down in your pretty To Do notebook, with the matching pen...

Kleftico Mon 21-Mar-11 21:14:52

I have just started to say things like "I'm not buying strawberries or grapes anymore because they just get eaten.". And I seem to be stock piling yogurts because they don't. I am turning into my mother.
I also do not allow anyone to cross my wet kitchen floor; I wince when clean loos get used immediately, and poos are only permissible in the upstairs toilet. Purely because it's boak worthy to smell shite when I'm burning blooming Yankee candles in the living room!

BooyHoo Mon 21-Mar-11 21:19:02

it's a notebook. not a pretty one. an asda smartprice one but a very important one none the less. the pen is a silver parker stolen from my mother's handbag. smile

ceasar04 Mon 21-Mar-11 21:24:14

What is a pillow sham confused

pawsnclaws Mon 21-Mar-11 21:26:11

My MIL hoovers her doorstep but not the driveway - she picks up stones and specks of dirt by hand from that.

She also has net curtains and carpets in the shed. Everything in the home is ironed - pants, tea towels, hankies, everything.

Cardigans and jumpers are hung in the wardrobe in plastic wrappers and have socks stuffed up the sleeves so they "keep their shape".

[waves at takethatlady] I think probably the only rule in my house that doesn't get ignored is that if I start crying about the state of the house DP must run around for the next 7 hours cleaning frantically. I sob a lot about the state of the house at the moment, as I am 6 months pg, with a toddler, full time job and SPD grin. I tried following Flylady but didn't have time to read the emails let alone do any cleaning and organisingblush.

Thingiebob Mon 21-Mar-11 21:33:25

Christ On A Bike!

None of you would want to come into my house!
I didn't think it was too bad but after reading this thread...

All this seperate piles this, seperate piles that, kitchen equipment hidden in cupboards, toilets that can't be used. Dearie me.

I think I should start by making up some rules.

LeQueen Mon 21-Mar-11 21:36:54

[offers thingie her own extensive, laminated list which is kept in its own co-ordinating folder]

butternut234 Mon 21-Mar-11 21:40:08

I am a secret tumble dryer too blush. Thought it was just me. To be fair to my DH though, I have been known to tumble dry a skirt when it's been 40 degrees all day but I've only remembered at 9pm that I need to wash and dry it to wear the next day.

My dmum can also only use matching pegs when hanging out wet washing. It has to be done meticulously and in order. The wet washing is folded in order before she goes outside and pegged up in order once outside. Many a t-shirt of mine was ruined by her pegging the bottom edge at full stretch because it was neater.
Poor mum - she is highly intelligent and being a SAHM just wasn't enough to fully occupy all those brains...grin

victoriascrumptious Mon 21-Mar-11 22:15:27

I can safely say I don't really have any rules apart from obvious ones like no washing your hands in the toilet and no smearing chicken blood on the walls.

I thought I was normal. Now I realise that I am not

BoffinMum Mon 21-Mar-11 22:22:46

Suffice it to say my linen cupboard is bilingually labelled.

pawsnclaws Mon 21-Mar-11 22:22:59

Oh Carrots I do that. Each member of the family has their own colour pegs and woe betide anyone who hangs an item up with the wrong colour peg.

my one rule which is always ignored <stares beadily at Mr SE> is that towels that have been used should be left open on the towel rail to dry and then folded. Being folded when damp makes them smell horrible.
I love line drying clothes and the smell of them when they come in.

For all of you poo smell sufferers – we bought a very nice glade air-freshener which does the job (pardon the pun).

xstitch Mon 21-Mar-11 22:49:14

my XH wouldn't let me use the tumble drier (which he bought) but neither would he let me hang any washing up on a clothes horse and it would spoil the view of his garden if I hung it outside. I still get a little panicky when I am doing the laundry. On the days I was allowed to hang washing outside he would scream at me if the pegs weren't the same colour.

I am particular about dd washing her hands, she is very risistant to the concept so it causes a few fights. Also coats do not belong on the floor and the middle of the hall just in the door is not a good place for a school bag. I think I am quite reasonable about that.

dementedma Mon 21-Mar-11 22:56:22

Dear God -I am genuinely shocked at the rules some of you people live by. I couldn't give a monkeys what way the toilet roll hangs, or most of the other stuff. I prefer shoes to be taken off and wet towels to be hung up, but that's about it.
the only rule in our house is on a sign when you come in
"be nice, or leave!"
That's about it really.

pinkhyena Mon 21-Mar-11 23:03:29

ceasar04 I was wondering the same thing confused

Thingiebob Mon 21-Mar-11 23:08:29

Thank you for the list LeQueen although I am fairly sure my 1 year old and slobby DH will completely disregard them.

Oh goodness me you lot are lovely and weird grin

I can relate to all of these - especially now we are selling the house and everything is scarily tidy shock grin

chasingrainbows Mon 21-Mar-11 23:43:38

ceasar04 my mum made mattress covers for my dc which she proudly pointed out were made from pillow sham - i still have not got a clue what is so special or unique about it - just looks like fabric to me confused

BooyHoo Mon 21-Mar-11 23:45:24

"no smearing chicken blood on the walls."

that is a very sensible rule. why would any house not have that as a rule grin

BluePyjamas Mon 21-Mar-11 23:55:53

A pillow sham is a pillow case.

And the bloke who prefers mouldy stinky clothes is a nob, does he do this to your clothes etc too? I would tell him to fuck the fuck off tbh.


I like my facecloths to be in colour order, and folds pointing the same way.

Towels must be folded in half longways, then in thirds, hotel stylee.

Quilt cover has to be stretched taut and decorative cushions put in airing cupboard overnight as they make the room messy while I'm sleeping.

I can't sleep if there is anything other than lamp, clock and phone on bedside table.

If there is a piece of paper/sock/cup etc on the other side of the room after kids bedtime, I can't relax until it's put away.

Counters/sink have to be clear and wiped before bed.

I iron everything.

I have very messy cupboards though. So I'm not a freak.

Sassybeast Mon 21-Mar-11 23:59:59

Victoriascrumptious - how do you enforce the chicken blood rule though ? Cos we have a real issue with that here and reward charts just don't cut it....

I'm not that bothered personally but when the lady comes around to colour code the pillow shams she gets a bit twitchy.

CardyMow Tue 22-Mar-11 00:03:21

When hanging clothes on hangers, the waistbands of the trousers must all face the same way on the hangers. DS1 has green plastic hangers for non- school clothes, and yellow plastic hangers for school clothes. DS2 has blue plastic hangers for non-school clothes and orange plastic hangers for school clothes. DD has silver wooden hangers for non-school clothes and white wooden hangers for school clothes. I have beech wood hangers and DP has dark wooden hangers. Woe betide DP if he hangs clothes on the wrong hanger.

There are many, many more....

Skinit Tue 22-Mar-11 00:15:35

Re not smearing chicken MIL somehow manages it...shealways seems to make little bloody splashes when prepping meat!

BluePyjamas Tue 22-Mar-11 00:23:26

Skinit. Take the hint. She's trying to kill you.

sleepyhappymummy Tue 22-Mar-11 02:18:32

When I was growing up, my dad liked to eat with only certain forks, although it was never communicated which ones, you were just supposed to 'know'. One day, after I set the table for lunch with apparently the wrong fork, he asked me was I "playing mind games" with him.....

woollyideas Tue 22-Mar-11 08:22:39

Nobody is allowed to use the kitchen roll in my house, except for ME. If anyone wants to wipe something up, they have to use a washable cloth, which can be thrown into the washing machine and re-used. The kitchen roll is only to be used in extremis, eg. for wiping up cat sick, or for other functions when you really wouldn't want to ever use the cloth that wiped it up ever again...

I had to have words with my best friend when I caught her using kitchen roll to wipe up a splash of tea. angry

In my house I am disappointed if a single kitchen roll doesn't last at least four months.

woollyideas Tue 22-Mar-11 08:55:14

Oh yes, and when my washing up sponge starts to look less than pristine, it gets demoted and becomes a surface-wiping sponge. I tear a corner off the demoted sponge so everyone knows which one is which.

Even sluts have rules.

PlanetEarth Tue 22-Mar-11 09:04:18

Matching pegs? confused

euphrosyne Tue 22-Mar-11 09:06:47

Bed linen and towels DO NOT go into cupboards and drawers after drying, unless ironed and folded neatly.

Using a bath towel and hand/face towel of different colour/set when the its pair is available drives me crazy.

And I HAVE to have cereal with a teaspoon. At least I do not make everyone else do it too...

shaz298 Tue 22-Mar-11 09:12:05

I do the matching peg, but not for specific clothes. Each item has to have the same kind/colour peg, and I do hang things up in an order, all pj tops and bottoms together, pair the socks and hang them side by side.

I also have to have all my coat hangers facing the same direction and all tops from dark-light, etc etc.......

Glad to see I'm not alone

shaz298 Tue 22-Mar-11 09:13:21

Oh and towels need to be folded properly....

I suppose for thos of us who have lots of 'rules' we could just have one.

Everything must be done my way!

ilove Tue 22-Mar-11 09:27:10

My garage is carpeted blush

Those of you who use coloured pegs are clearly weird beyond all weirdness - surely everyone knows that the only correct pegs are wooden ones!!

I do agree with the posters who say that the loo roll should be hung with the end at the front - but at the moment, I would settle for a new loo roll being put on the holder when the old one runs out, never mind which way round it's hung!

Dh puts a new roll on when needed, but can be a bit hit-and-miss about putting it on the right way, but the dses apparently have no idea whatsoever about what to do when the loo roll runs out.

Either they

1 - don't realise that you need a new loo roll

2 - don't know where these shy and retiring creatures live in our house


3 - can't work the complex and difficult machinery neccessary to change the loo roll.

Oh - and on the rare occasions when they do manage to stalk and trap a new loo roll, the old tube absolutely can't be put in the bin - it is just dropped on the floor, as if the effort involved in changing the loo roll has left them too exhausted to open the bin lid. angry

theyoungvisiter Tue 22-Mar-11 09:51:12

Your poor families. I wish I could fast forward and read the thread in 20 years time started by your daughter/son-in-laws. grin

"AIBU to find my MIL a total nutjob with her strange obsession with towels/kitchen roll/laundry/carpet/bizarre toilet-related rules?"

LeQueen Tue 22-Mar-11 09:51:52

I have a large pine cupboard in the DD's bathroom, and this is where I keep all our linen and towels. No one else is allowed in this cupboard, it is my spiritual sanctum.

All towels are folded in a particular way, and in specific piles (one pile for guests, one pile for the DDs, one pile for us, a miscellaneous pile of old towels used when DDs are sick etc).

All bedding is ironed and folded in specific piles. I have been known to tie up each set of bedding with a length of co-ordinating ribbon, like a parcel, so my cupboard looks like an image from Country Homes & Interiors.

And, I have lavender sachets inserted between the piles.

Basically, I'm a frustrated interiors stylist hmm

I love my linen cupboard.

theyoungvisiter Tue 22-Mar-11 09:58:13

where do you find the TIME to worry about this stuff? I mean, you could be out having fun, or reading a book, or writing a novel, or just - you know - doing normal stuff instead of folding towels!

Shall I tell you how I do my washing? Stick a load on in the morning before I go to work. Come home, scrabble it all out of the machine. If it looks like it'll rain then chuck the big things over the bannisters and the small things on the radiators - if it's fine then peg it all on the line any old how with some pegs I've picked out of the flowerbeds.

When dry, shove in the drawers without ironing or folding or sorting in any way.

Skip off to have a life.

ifancyashandy Tue 22-Mar-11 10:02:20

The duvet cover MUST be put on correctly (the duvet seams and cover seems meeting exactly).

The cushions MUST be plumped up every night before bed.

The remote controls MUST be placed on the coffee table (righ hand corner, by the candle)

If you open the curtains, straighten them - don't just fling them open.

Bins emptied every day.

Clean the hob of any splashes immediately.

Tuna tins must be rinsed before going into the bin.

Towels should be matching from the current set (so if the bath matt is green, use the green towels from the cupboard. Ditto the pink matt etc...)

The black smoke mark to be wiped off the glass of poncy candles.

Socks to be paired together on the clothes line / drier.

Thongs and shorts to be folded inside their matching bra in the drawer.

Plain white / black / nude thongs & shorts to go in the other drawer.

All clothes hangers to be hooked on to the rail in the same direction and all clothes to be facing in the same direction (so all blouses / shirts / fronts of tee-shirts to be facing to the left)

I LOVE my anally tidy rules!

LeQueen Tue 22-Mar-11 10:03:22

theyoung I am writing a novel, and I read 2-3 books per week...

theyoungvisiter Tue 22-Mar-11 10:05:00

Ahh... but LeQueen, I notice you don't say "and I have got a life" grin

(Only kidding)

(Sort of)

ifancyashandy Tue 22-Mar-11 10:05:22

And I work full time in a creative field.

(dunno where that big space came from BTW. Wasn't there in 'preview').

theyoungvisiter Tue 22-Mar-11 10:06:41

It wasn't just directed at you btw - more to the general level of concernedness on the whole thread.

I truly don't care. It's partly time, but even if I didn't have two jobs and two small children and there were 28 hours in the day, I just don't think I could ever care.

LeQueen Tue 22-Mar-11 10:08:06

Yes, I do have a's a life in which my towels are neatly folded smile

Ifancyashandy - I pair up socks when pegging them out too - but that is just jolly sensible as it means that we can roll them up as we are taking them off the line.

I have a particular way of stacking the supermarket trolley when doing the shopping, so that meat all stays together, as do items for the fridge and the store cupboards, and the fruit and veg go in the little section at the far end - then things go on the conveyor belt in their piles and get packed together, to make it easy to unpack them - I can just take a handful of bags to the fridge and put everything in them away, instead of having to sort each bag out before the stuff can go away.

It drives me utterly spare when dh and I go to the supermarket together, and he puts things in the wrong area of the trolley, flings everything willy nilly onto the conveyor belt, and packs each shopping bag with a mixture of veg, tins, toiletries and meat!!

I do most of the weekly shops online now - for the sake of our marriage!

I envy your airing cupboard, LeQueen. Sometimes I sort ours out, but it never stays looking nice, and it doesn't have enough shelves for true beauty.

I did try buying towels for each of us - so we each had our own towels in different colours, so we knew which belonged to which person - but no-one but me seemed to be able to grasp that ds1 got dark brown towels, ds2 got mid-brown towels, and ds3 got light brown towels, then dh got blue ones and I got pink ones. I've even found the dses bath sheets in the pile of dog towels (though I'm sure she wouldn't mind sharing).

pawsnclaws Tue 22-Mar-11 10:14:49

To be fair, I think life is easier when things are ordered - I hate scrabbling round trying to find things so I like to know where stuff is. And I don't particularly like sitting still, so I tend to potter round tidying and picking stuff up even when I've got nothing specific to do.

Staying I do that with the trolley too, in fact the cashier a while ago was pretty rude about it and made some weird remark about having too much time on my hands! To me it's just common sense, why would I pack cold fresh milk next to warm fresh bread when it takes no longer than arranging it?

LeQueen Tue 22-Mar-11 10:15:37

My linen cupboard is a thing of beauty, it must be said...if you're ever in the area you're wecome to come and admire it smile

You could charge for entry, LeQueen. Or maybe the National Trust could run tours and set up a gift shop.

Or you could write a book on the correct care and feeding of towels and linens!

PigeonPie Tue 22-Mar-11 10:27:00

annabel - put the lint fluff in the compost!

I also don't like bags or the washing baskets (the ones which go outside to hang the washing out) on the tables. They get wiped down after every meal - I don't want random crap put on them so I've to wipe them down again. I also don't want the washing baskets put on the beds.

We're easy going on most things, but we do insist that the kitchen floor is swept after most meals because it stops the crumbs going round the house (you should see my DSis house!) and it saves me on vacuuming.

Actually there are probably loads more, but I can't think of them at the moment.

LeQueen Tue 22-Mar-11 10:27:12

[furiously scribbles down these brilliant ideas]

And, the gift shop could stock commemerative hand-towels, tied up with ribbon...

[wipes drool off chin]

ShatnersBassoon Tue 22-Mar-11 10:31:02

My mum likes to hang her pans instead of putting them in the cupboard, to save dirtying her cupboards confused. But the only place she would put hooks for them is in her utility room so they don't clutter the kitchen up, and at a height so they're 'not in the way' which means she can't reach them without a step ladder grin.

No food is to be kept in her kitchen either. Even the bread bin is put in the utility room, and she carries it back and forth numerous times throughout the day. She's very paranoid about rodents getting into her house after getting a mouse in the dining room about 25 years ago hmm. Obviously rodents only look in kitchens for food, they would never reckon on a cunning householder putting anything edible in the next room.

I think I'm somwehere in the middle of all this <proud>
The reality is that I would llike things to be neater and I would do a lot more tidying/colour and size sorting/cushion plumping etc if I had more time on my hands. But somehow, I'm glad I don't - if that makes any sense? (see what you mean youngvisitor!)

Needanewname Tue 22-Mar-11 11:04:58

These really are fantastic!

Gracie123 Tue 22-Mar-11 11:10:48

I pack things on the conveyor belt like it's tetris. I do try to follow the separating dairy/veg/meat etc... rule, but not if it means the packing won't interlock exactly on the belt. blush

I don't know why I do this.

It used to annoy DH but now he does it too!

MrsGuyOfGisbourne Tue 22-Mar-11 11:17:33

None to add, as I am perfect grin but these have made my day - hilarious!!!!!!!!!

Hereforlife Tue 22-Mar-11 11:42:03

Surely some of these are piss takes?

Really? I mean really? Why? Why do these things?
How can you justify it?

I need to live in a house where I can spill.

BooyHoo Tue 22-Mar-11 12:28:25

oh yes forgot this one.

my wardrobe is arranged in order of colour. black at the left side right through to white at the other end.

BooyHoo Tue 22-Mar-11 12:35:01

i am moving into my idea of heaven leQ's house grin

i also stack the supermarket trolley a certain way. gone are the days when a loaf of bread slid off the top of my trolley.

sherbetpips Tue 22-Mar-11 12:48:36

ha ha - I have my MIL living with us at the moment so I am getting completely freaked out about all sorts of things I never cared about - folding the towels correctly, not having the doors closed (she is a door closer), the right shade of toilet paper (she has a tendancy to buy peach), not having pink rose coloured tissue boxes everywhere in every room, not washing cups (put them in the dishwasher!!!)....
My DH mus think I am going nuts as I was never particularly tidy before she arrived!

stealthsquiggle Tue 22-Mar-11 13:00:48

You're all nuts (in a (largely) nice way)

I really couldn't care who poos in which toilet. I do have a slight twinge of regret when DH decides to cook bacon and egg when the shiny granite splashback and worksurface have just been cleaned, but not enough to actually stop him.

The only rules in this house (largely ignored, expecially by DH) are that you hang towels up after use (I don't even care where, as long as they are off the floor) and put dirty washing in the basket (not next to it, or wherever you dropped it - and why you would take your socks off in the sitting room I have no idea, but they all do it hmm)

DOOR - but that is because we live in a cold drafty house.

..and no singing to the table. Obviously.

ceasar04 Tue 22-Mar-11 13:29:27

Thank you for the pillow sham/case explanation smile Was bewildered by that!

I used to have very neat, tidy and clean house but since being pg with DD, now 15 weeks old, and having the pg from hell, then coping with 2 DCs under 3 and a DH who works silly hours, I spend too much time online and watching sky+ am far too busy grin

Although would like to move into LeQ's house please? Am v envy as I don't even have a linen cupboard.

However I have been inspired by MN and in an effort to mend my slovenly ways I am awaiting my steam mop from Lakeland.....hoping this will spur me onto a spring clean..hmm

Longtime Tue 22-Mar-11 13:32:47

This thread is so funny, particularly as I used to do so many of these things! A few habits have remained but most of them have gone because I have become old and lazy and spend far too much time on the internet reading threads about people being tidy grin!

LeQueen Tue 22-Mar-11 13:38:46

caesar I'm thinking of renting my house out...but God help you if you actually touch anything hmm

ceasar04 Tue 22-Mar-11 13:55:46

LeQ was thinking more of being a guest than actually renting it out wink

I bet you are a fabulous hostess. Are you Nigella in RL?

And if it was just me and no DH or DC's I would be very tidy.

(Caesar dreams of someone who has towels tied up with ribbon looking after her....sigh...)

SparklyMily Tue 22-Mar-11 13:57:58

Love this thread

My DM pegs knickers out with 2 pegs, and irons them....I would run out of pegs if I tried to do that for 3xDDs and me, and I would lose the will to live with the ironing!

*I have the loo roll thing <old hat clearly>
*additional cushions on the sofas laying flat, not at an angle
* ironed sheets which neat-freak DP thinks is weird, though he is massively tidier than me - they are just so lovely to lie on <joins queue to admire LeQ's linen cupboard>

not very many really

Outdoor shoes off, which I know is a polarising subject but have been convinced of it ever since I saw XFil track muddy priunts up my oatmeal staircarpet....realised the gopping patterned dark green stair carpet at X-ils' house must be feeelthy

what is it with taking socks off and abandoning them randomly round the house??DD2 does this, ok she is only 3 but is drives me to the bottle demented on a daily basis

sarajane1968 Tue 22-Mar-11 15:10:27

I am not allowed to leave my shampoo and conditioner out in the bathroom! But then I don't let my partner leave piles of random screws/receipts/widgets in the kitchen. I bin them when he's not looking...

clam Tue 22-Mar-11 15:13:51

Aw, come on LeQueen. Post a pic of your linen cupboard on your profile? Perleeeeease?

Go on LeQ , please, it may get me to tidy mine up..

Gracie123 Tue 22-Mar-11 15:43:21

I agree with the shampoo/conditioner thing to an extent. I only allow one bottle of shampoo, one bottle of conditioner and one bottle of shower gel to be visible in the bathroom. That is for the use of guests who may be shy/not know where the cupboard is.

All else is stored in a cupboard under the windowseat.

I also ensure that said products are in colour co-ordinating bottles. This means decanting when someone gifts me something from the 'wrong' product range.

ChippingInMistressSteamMop Tue 22-Mar-11 15:49:13

Gracie - so are you saying that before you go in the shower you have to get out your shampoo, conditioner & shower gel out of your cupboard under the window seat? Every time? Or have I misunderstood?

I am minimalist - I hate clutter. But as I use my S, C & SG 2x a day I am buggered if they are not going to live in the shower! Only one of each - sometimes 2 shower gels - that's it. Not lots of clutter.

Gracie123 Tue 22-Mar-11 15:53:25

No no, I use the ones in the shower, and insist everyone else do the same OR get theirs in and out of the cupboard.

If you insist on having your own special man scented showergel then you have to get it out/put it away after you.

Gracie123 Tue 22-Mar-11 15:54:29

By the way, i don't use really girly scented stuff either. I use generic smells that suit everyone so wending have to have lots of stuff out.

Gracie123 Tue 22-Mar-11 15:55:05

*we don't

Stupi iphone

Gracie123 Tue 22-Mar-11 15:56:09

I also only allow one toothpaste etc... By the sink. If you don't like the flavour, suck it up until we next buy and complain then.

ChippingInMistressSteamMop Tue 22-Mar-11 15:57:47

Oh - I see - that I could live with

Like you I can't handle 4 lots of everything in the shower!!

clam Tue 22-Mar-11 15:58:09

<<wonders if LeQ is farting around with a tripod and flashgun, trying to get the shot just right>>

ChippingInMistressSteamMop Tue 22-Mar-11 15:58:35

Clam - don't be stupid.

ChippingInMistressSteamMop Tue 22-Mar-11 15:59:03

She's booking the photograher!! grin

LeQueen Tue 22-Mar-11 16:00:49

My linen cupboard isn't like it at the's only when the OCD mood takes me.

ja9 Tue 22-Mar-11 16:12:04

Slambang - i do that blush

Gracie123 Tue 22-Mar-11 16:19:52

I'm like that leQ. Makes it hard for DH. He never knows when his slack towel folding ways are going to be ignored and when they are going to cause a melt down...

FabbyChic Tue 22-Mar-11 16:26:27

You can't sit on my sofas once the cushions have been plumped.

Bumblequeen Tue 22-Mar-11 16:38:39

I do not like:

Toilet being used immediately after cleaning
Rubbish being put in bin as soon as it is emptied
Dd eating biscuits/crisps in living room after I have hoovered

Bags, coats, shoes are put away soon after we arrive home.
I open/close curtains as hubby does not ensure gathering is straight/even.
Only hand towels are placed in bathroom. Our bath towels stay in bedroom.

shaz298 Tue 22-Mar-11 16:55:31

For thoise who don'ty like clutter in the shower ( and I am one - didn't think i many rukles but the more I read the more i discover I have) we have a dispenser with 4 bottles, which hangs neatly on the wall. Oh and the toothbrushes and toothpaste are also oin a wall mounted thingy in the shower.

I hate it when people brush their teeth at the sink and don't clena the sink/mirror after them. So in our house teeth are brushed in the shower, and the shower doors needs to be washed down before you get out - or else!

TechnoKitten Tue 22-Mar-11 18:57:54

You are all (in the loveliest way) completely insane.

Our towels are hung mostly over the shower door when not in use. Clothes go from person to laundry bin to washer to dryer to floordrobe back to person again. Rarely (when I am not working) they may make it to the relevant shelf or hanging rail before the final step.

DH and the boys (and I) poo in whichever toilet happens to be nearest when the need arises. I prefer loo roll hung the right way round but it doesn't bother me if it's hung back to front.

We take our shoes off before coming inside (landlord's request) and we don't have sword fighting at the table (obvious). Either I'm a complete slattern or you're all certifiable

onepieceoflollipop Tue 22-Mar-11 19:08:46

I forgot about the bath towel situation in our house. Like Bumble they are hung in the relevant person's bedroom (on a radiator airer)

I don't like the thought of guests wiping their hands on my bathtowel and equally I wouldn't wish to wipe my hands on someone else's bathtowel either.

SudashesaliveItakeyoutoher Tue 22-Mar-11 19:55:02

I cannot bear to peg out an odd sock it would just drive me to distraction and scream at me every time I looked at the washing line. If my DH has pegged one out then with every fibre of my being I want to go out and bring it in and tuck it under my kitchen radiator shelf on top of the radiator out of sight - its like Friends Reunited under there and its my dark secret. Every day without fail so often I will check if there are any pairs under there and only then put them away. DH cannot understand this for the life of him and why it matters - I dont know either really - I mean he's right when he says that the other one will turn up or the odd one can just be put in the drawer when its dry till its mate turns up (the hairs on the back of my neck stand up at even the thought of this).

This is so bad that I actually run out and bring any offending 'solos' in to tuck away in my secret sock limbo as soon as DHs back is turned. I really really just cant bear it.

Gracie123 Tue 22-Mar-11 19:57:18

A COMPLETELY NORMAL rule is that when you change the babies diaper, you put the old one in the bin which is RIGHT NEXT to the change table.

Really, I love DH for the number of diaper changes he does, but it drives me INSANE that he can't manage that one extra step. angry

Gracie123 Tue 22-Mar-11 19:57:32

It's been a long day blush

buttonmoon78 Tue 22-Mar-11 20:13:59

I totally get the organised trolley / conveyor belt thing. Otherwise you get squashed bread and bruised bananas etc surely?

I never hang out odd socks because I only ever wash pairs.

Of course, there are occasions when the washing machine eats a sock and a solo one comes out. It goes in the bin if it's a dc sock (they are normally cheap) or dh sock (they normally have a hole in anyway) but if it's one of mine it goes in a special drawer until the missing partner has to be given up as missing in action as mine are nice and more expensive without holes!

My linen cupboard is sorted according to bedroom and bathroom. Each bedding set has the requisite pillow case and sheet folded inside the duvet cover. Towels are piled according to size though, not colour.

This sounds like my house is a haven of tidyness. It's truly not. It's just that I have some wierd quirks which I HAVE to do.

buttonmoon78 Tue 22-Mar-11 20:15:04

Oh, and the washing must always be shaken before it is hung up, pegged at certain places to avoid odd looking nipply peg marks and folded perfectly when taken down again. That way I can avoid doing lots of unnecessary ironing grin

PrincessScrumpy Tue 22-Mar-11 20:15:20

My mum used to do the bin thing shouting: "don't put that in the bin, I've just emptied it!" we were all baffled and ended up walking round for a couple of hours with used tissues in our pockets before emptying them.

The other was: when the cleaner was coming (once a week) we had to leave the house tidy and clean! God forbid she might tell others that we had a dirty house! confused

thereistheball Tue 22-Mar-11 20:16:50

Have we done slicing butter in the butter dish down neatly instead of scooping, while leaving no crumbs and certainly not scraping across the top <winces>?

It was on MN that I was made to realise I have a mug and tea towel hierarchy, and woe betide anyone who gets that wrong.

Other rules :

I require tea before being asked to function in the morning. My 3 year old now wakes up DH by asking if they should make me tea: the answer is always 'yes', as grunted by me.

Also, the word 'toilet' does not exist. It is a 'loo'. I get away with enforcing this by living abroad where linguistic contamination is less likely. When ILs arrive it gets trickier. DH supports me as long as he gets to teach DD some mildly rude nonsense words that she trots out innocently for his own amusement.

thereistheball Tue 22-Mar-11 20:22:03

Oh and since moving into a place with a solid glass door to the shower ai have a new rule, which is that it must be squeegeed before getting out. Whoop, no nasty limescale drips. And so satisfying to do!

buttonmoon78 Tue 22-Mar-11 20:31:20

I have a mug hierarchy, but not tea towel. And butter must be taken from the dish using a flat edged knife NOT a serrated knife. Obviously.

But I am less concerned with whether it is scraped or sliced.

twopeople Tue 22-Mar-11 20:37:58

Message withdrawn

twopeople Tue 22-Mar-11 20:39:24

Message withdrawn

twopeople Tue 22-Mar-11 20:40:34

Message withdrawn

clam Tue 22-Mar-11 21:22:53

Must show DH this thread. Then he will realise how lucky he is to be married to me. As it is, he truly believes he's landed a fruitcake.

PigeonPie Tue 22-Mar-11 21:41:03

thereistheball - oh dear, you've just made me realise that, yes, the slicing of butter is one of my 'rules'. It also pertains to the Bertolli in the plastic pot, and even the cooking marg! No way should it be scooped and certainly not with a serrated knife (those are eating knives for cutting food not spreading), put preferably with either a bone-handled butter knife, or one of the 'little' desert knives put out specifically for spreading toast.

I think I'm a loon grin

buttonmoon78 Tue 22-Mar-11 21:50:30

So what do you use then twopeople?

twopeople Tue 22-Mar-11 22:03:47

Message withdrawn

supadupapupascupa Tue 22-Mar-11 22:24:47

I have a thing about pegs.

Respect the pegs.

They live in the peg bag and not on the washing line, and heaven help you if you drop one on the floor (they are for attaching to clean clothes!!!!!) I even rinse them occasionally.

And noone but me can hang washing out correctly either. Must be neat and tidy and uncrumpled so they dry properly.

jadziadax Wed 23-Mar-11 02:55:18

Socks go in a big lingerie bag that hangs off the back of the wash basket. Then they don't get eaten by the machine, or stuck in a sleeve and not dry properly.

Good idea, clam

thaigreencurry Wed 23-Mar-11 11:23:39

My sisters has bins that are just for show. hmm

If you actually want to dispose of rubbish you have to put in a carrier bag which acts as a bin. Why she doesn't just do away with bins is beyond me. confused

Just caught up - ROFL at people brushing their teeth in the shower!!!

Do a lot of people do that? <suddenly worried>

Bumblequeen Wed 23-Mar-11 12:54:47

Eatyourveg/Heifer- assumed upstairs lol would be kept for number 2's.
Hiswife- should hoovering not be done last?
Arfur- I agree number 2's should not be done in ensuite.
Pussnclaws- can just see you being chased out of the house! Cannot believe breakfast is taken out night before. I am all for preparing in advance but this takes the biscuit.

mousymouse Wed 23-Mar-11 13:37:28

my rules

- no scraping the butter (my parents do that, with serrated knives and jam residue [boak]
- toilet roll goes the right way round, except for the family bath where the roll is up high so that toddler cannot get to it
- the extractor fan must be running for half an hour before leaving the bathroom door open after a shower
- the bedrooms must be aired just before going to bed.
- no dirty dishes in the sink, they need to go into the dishwasher or on the side

Bumblequeen Wed 23-Mar-11 14:45:40

More rules:

Windows open for several hours a day once we are in the home, bathroom window stays cracked all day.
Pillows puffed up before I go to bed.
No shoes on carpeted areas.
Nothing kept on table top except microwave, kettle, toaster.

LeQueen Wed 23-Mar-11 14:56:34

I've just realised that I had rules even as young as 3. When I went to bed at night, I would line up my favourite soft toys, all with their little heads on my pillow, all with the quilt neatly tucked under their chins...and I would lie as still as possible so as not to dislodge them...

And one of my earliest memories is of my Mum carefully raking our green, shag-pile carpet (I was a child of the Seventies) into perfect stripes, like a lawn...

I never stood a chance, did I?

BrainSurgeon Wed 23-Mar-11 15:08:30

LeQueen no you didn't

Can someone put me out of my misery (so to speak) and tell me if it's common to brush your teeth in the shower!

wendylovesbob Wed 23-Mar-11 15:12:44

i love brushing my teeth in the shower.

halfcaffodils Wed 23-Mar-11 15:51:17

Our first house had shag pile in the bedroom and came fully equipped with a carpet rake...never striped it though. Too many towels to fold!

PigeonPie Wed 23-Mar-11 15:56:42

LeQueen, I think your Ma has a lot to answer for! I smell a big rat - before you lined up your cuddlies and lay very still, were you one for getting out of bed? Was it just a ruse from your parents to get you to stay still? grin

CheerfulYank Wed 23-Mar-11 16:12:15

I brush mine in the shower whilst the conditioner's soaking into my hair. Time saver!

perfumedlife Wed 23-Mar-11 16:24:11

LeQueen we have the same mum! The rake, blush

I also lined up my dolls in bed, left very little space to sleep in. I open the blinds/curtains at night now, ready for the morning. The house has to be welcoming and clean for the morning, who wants to go into a dark and dim kitchen/sitting room?

I take a large bottle of water from the freezer, pour it, still almost iced, into the coffee machine by the bed, ready for the morning. Can't stand coffee made with stale water and am waiting for an invention that opens bottles to pour in while I sleep.

pawsnclaws Wed 23-Mar-11 16:29:52

Oh my Lord, LeQueen I used to do that with all the dolls and cuddlies. I literally had to lie completely rigid in bed so as not to disturb any of them - and woe betide anyone who interfered with their special positions. I also had the duvet right up under my chin, but that was more to prevent me being murdered in the night (clearly a mad axe murderer would be likely to (a) wander into a child's bedroom, and (b) take one look and say "oh no, she's got the duvet up to her chin, no way this axe will cut through that, best find another victim .....").

Clearly my peg fetish has its roots in childhood ....

LeQueen Wed 23-Mar-11 16:35:08

pigeon no, I never was one for getting out of bed when little. Don't like to do it now...

LeQueen Wed 23-Mar-11 16:36:38

Perfume - God, my Mum was a slave to that rake...every morning before going to work she'd rake, walking backwards to the front door...

LeQueen Wed 23-Mar-11 16:37:15

paws a child's duvet is a magically impenetrable barrier...

Longtime Wed 23-Mar-11 19:44:37

paws, I used to pull the covers right up because of the mad axe murderer. I also insisted on complete darkness so he wouldn't be able to see if I was awake. I also lay on my front with my hand over my heart so he couldn't penetrate it. Actually I also used to hold the chain of the loo (I'm very old) out as far as possible before I flushed it, pull and belt down the stairs as far as possible so that the toilet goblins couldn't get me. My dcs don't have/have never had any of these. They think I'm a complete loon.

Kleftico Wed 23-Mar-11 23:42:31

My DH has to make sure all drawers and wardrobe doors are closed at bedtime. I tease him about those pesky vampires. He never laughs it off. Maybe it's a genuine concern confused

twopeople Thu 24-Mar-11 07:47:12

Message withdrawn

I have never brushed my teeth in the shower. It sounds minging grin

I have an Ikea duvet cover set (white with blue toile de jouy design) which has a different design on the two sides of the duvet cover. There's only one side I like, so that side has to be uppermost, and I will turn the duvet over if dh gets it wrong.

The pillowcases from this set have little ties to fasten them up with, and these have to go at the edge of the bed. In fact, I think that any housewife-style pillows should have the open end pointed towards the edge of the bed.

MrsE Thu 24-Mar-11 13:31:15

My mums rule was no shoes on the table.....

MumtoEva Thu 24-Mar-11 13:59:30

I cant break up bananas in the supermarket as they will miss their friends-have to buy the whole bunch

dementedma Thu 24-Mar-11 14:09:51

PML at MumtoEva - do you have to eat the whole bunch in one go as well?
That is really, really weird funny!

smellyeli Thu 24-Mar-11 14:38:40

No poos in the downstairs toilet. My Mum's rule. My DH was not aware of this the first time he visited their house and did the unspeakable deed.

Cornflakemum Thu 24-Mar-11 14:48:02

No newspapers on the sofas (I can just imagine all that dirty newsprint transferring to my clothes afterwards)

Nothing which has been on the ground outside should be put on the beds. DH always ignores this and puts suitcases (just recently trailed through filthy airports) ON TOP OF THE DUVET to unpack shock

He also puts laundry basket on grass outside and then puts on top of bed/duvet to sort out clothes/ironing.

It gives me the creeps... don't know why...

PigeonPie Thu 24-Mar-11 14:53:39

SDTG - that's not silly, that's normal and I quite agree!

Cornflakemum - that too is perfectly normal and rational!

onepieceoflollipop Thu 24-Mar-11 15:10:51

Those of you who have experience of the "no poos in downstairs loo" rule.

If a visitor needs a poo, are they then expected to announce this and enquire as to which upstairs loo is to be used? If they are rude enough to actually do a poo in the downstairs loo, does the host/ess then confront them? Would they get away with it if it was non-smelly and or no marks left?

Personally I would go ahead and poo if I needed it. I can just imagine the host/ess confronting me and I would deny it. They are hardly likely to take you to court over it are they?!

I cannot get my head round this controlling behaviour of dictating where family/friends carry out normal bodily functions. It's unhealthy to worry so much about a temporary potential smell imo.

Jux Thu 24-Mar-11 15:55:36

DH cleans the kitchen on Mondays. The sink is vile white plastic and he bleaches it. He won't let me put anything in the sink for the rest of the day 'in case you make it dirty - I've only just cleaned it'.

That night, I served supper to me and dd on plates but gave him his scrambled eggs in the saucepan.

MrsvWoolf Thu 24-Mar-11 15:58:29

It's barmy actually. I do the bin 'thing' too, but cannot explain why exactly.

wizzchick Thu 24-Mar-11 17:38:38

Who are these people who have time (and the inclination) to iron everything?
Sign of an empty life, I say

MrsvWoolf Thu 24-Mar-11 17:47:34

I do that too blush iron everything, that is, and I really don't have the time, just feel compelled to do it. But I haven't ironed towels (just the large stored ones) in months.

I am quite quick, however. My grandmother taught me to iron quite young, and when I m not running behind, I quite enjoy it <yes, perhaps empty life after all>

NorthernGobshite Thu 24-Mar-11 17:53:31

I won't let anyone use bathroom sink for hours after I clean it as I want it to stay sparkly.....they usually ignore me grin

NorthernGobshite Thu 24-Mar-11 17:54:09

I'm with you wizzchick - I don't iron, thats what tumble dryers are for!!

buttonmoon78 Thu 24-Mar-11 18:45:59

The thought of brushing my teeth with hot water in the shower is gross. Yuk.

I thought of a few more last night. Someone beat me to the pillowcases opening to the edge of the bed, but I'm also fussy about the buttons at the bottom of the duvet cover. They have to be buttoned up on the inside so the whole effect is smooth.

Some of these 'rules' are plain bonkers but some are fair enough or simply odd little habits. Obvioulsy, all mine are fair enough grin

Neverknowinglyunderfaffed Thu 24-Mar-11 19:23:43

Have been training DH for YEARS not to leave wet towels on the bed. I thought we'd cracked it. On a rare mini-break away he relapsed and threw his sopping wet towel on the massive pristine white bed. After taking him to task he replied 'Oh, is it ALL beds? I thought it was just ours'. Fgs.

I can beat the MIL hoovering her driveway. My neighbour hoovers his car engine.

I mean, he hoovers everything else too, DH thinks he is going to go through their floor one day grin. But yes, he does outside too - the patio, so the car engine (to get out the leaves etc that get in there, presumably) seemed quite logical. But the funniest thing I've ever seen is him standing on a ladder trying to hoover their guttering

Pawan Thu 24-Mar-11 20:50:09

I can also beat the MIL hoovering the driveway.

My bro in law (before he married my sister) used to hoover up the guinea pigs droppings from the lawn and their hutch, rather than going to the trouble of actually cleaning them out.

Think my sister got a new hoover when they got married. (Not to be used for hoovering up guinea pig poo).

I think that is common among guinea pig owners Pawan. I do clean them out properly but if they poo on the grass it is very effective at cleaning it up. blush I do of course buy an old hoover from ebay for the purpose though grin
In my defence I know of quite a few people who do this and of others who scour the grass every night for dog poo and chicken poo.

Pawan Thu 24-Mar-11 21:05:17

Also, I hardly iron anything (literally - once in a blue moon I will iron a shirt for dh) but I do try and iron the sheets and pillowcases for our bed. Sad i know -but it is so nice to climb into a bed with ironed sheets and pillowcases (you should try it if you've not ever done so). But even sadder, is that, if I've ironed them, then they need to stay clean and pristine for at least 24 hours. So you need to sleep nicely - no messing the sheets up or scrumpling up the duvet. And definitely no sex.

Pawan Thu 24-Mar-11 21:07:32

Carrotsandcelery at the time my BIL only had the one hoover - hence our horror. I guess poo on the lawn when kids are around isn't great, but think I'd either get rid of the guinea pigs, or just leave them in one place.


deliasmith Thu 24-Mar-11 21:28:38

This thread is very funny!
My rules: No hands on the hall wall when going up or down- there is a bannister and I am fed up with dirty marks on my lovely walls.
No shaving (only applies to DH) after I have cleaned bathroom and then I spend the next two days wiping the water marks off the shiny tap like a mad woman!
I also do not understand why people have to mess my sofas up either. Just sit on them don't squash the cushions, move them or make my throws messy. Not difficult.
And really any kind of mess after I have cleaned just makes me mad, or should I say madder??
Going to get a cleaner I am fed up with the thankless, joyless, energy sapping monotony of cleaning!!!!

deliasmith Thu 24-Mar-11 21:34:42

Just read more messages. My mum irons everything including tea towels, underwear and sheets NOT NORMAL. I only iron if it is on the outside and people can see it!
Worringly my DS aged 5! changes the loo roll if it isn't hanging the right way!!! other than that he is a normal messy kid!!

laukaya Thu 24-Mar-11 21:41:30

To everyone with the toilet roll the right way around rule: I used to be like you, until DD arrived and the mist was lifted from my eyes - when you're sitting on the loo holding a baby in one arm while trying to tear paper from the roll, it's a lot easier when the loo roll is hanging THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

I know this is blasphemy to you, but to me it's the only truth...

shaz298 Thu 24-Mar-11 21:45:33

I like everything ironed, including bedcovers ( can't say I actually enjoy doing the ironing though) but did you know.....................ironing towels makes them less absorbent!!

So no ironing of towels in this house. i like them to dry things

Kleftico Thu 24-Mar-11 21:47:12

I like towels to dry on the line and never wash them with FC as I prefer crunchy towels. But I do like ironed bedding. Nothing better!

Grockle Thu 24-Mar-11 22:01:44

Carrier bags must be folded before being put away in the drawer.

The kettle lives by the wall but must be pulled out from under the top cuboards to be boiled and put back by the wall afterwards.

Dishwasher must be loaded properly my way

No shoes upstairs

We had the no poos downstairs rule when I was growing up and I still abide by it but don't enforce it with the others.

Cushions on the sofa must be plumped and arranged properly after use. I'd prefer people not to sit on them at all but I bite my tongue.

kbaby Thu 24-Mar-11 22:07:17

I dont know if I'm normal now or not!!

No bags are allowed to be put on any surface other than a floor. MIL keeps putting her handbag on my worktop, each time I move it to the floor. She also has a tendency to put the kids shoes on there. I mean bleugh!! I prepare my food off that!

Towells for show in the bathroom. No one is allowed to use them or I huff and puff
Only products being used on show and the shower screen and tiles are squidgeid down after use(only I seem to do this though)

My curtains in the living room have to open and hang in the correct way, DH just slings them open so I redo them each morning.
Cushions in a particular order and I also hate anyone sitting on them. I keep thinking they are breaking wind on my lovely cushions.

Everything in cupboards have to be in a particular order. It so annoys me when DH has put something on the wrong shelf.

I cringe when DH is making something after ive just cleaned the worktops.

I also hoover my decking( i think the neighbours must think i'm odd)

All of these seem perfectly normal to me. MIL has a thing where she takes my wet washing out of the machine and folds it all ready to go on the line 2 mins later. I can never get my head around what a complete time waster that is

kbaby in your MIL's defence, folding washing before putting it out is a way of getting untangled and removing creases before drying. I do it. It must be right then! ;)

tomsmom2003 Thu 24-Mar-11 22:11:23

Takethatlady from Monday - I think you have my DH!!

mumtoh Thu 24-Mar-11 23:33:27

OMG I have discovered I am weird. I too have the toilet roll obsession (has to be on the outside hanging down, NEVER the inside. Pillowcases have to have the open end at the outside of the bed. When I've done a lovely weekly shop and the fridge is full, no-one is allowed to eat anything straightaway - what's the point of buying stuff if it just gets eaten? The patio curtain has to be pulled closed each night. The bathroom blind has to be pulled up, not just opened (although it's the other way round for the downstairs loo...) Talking of the loos, me and DS don't like to have a poo in the downstairs loo - others can but the air freshener is strategically placed. I actually have towels 'for best'. When I have cleaned my car (about once every six months) I have to go and look at it admiringly several times an hour.

Have to stop now. Thinking of too many things...

mumtoh Thu 24-Mar-11 23:35:02

And the dishwasher has to be loaded a particular way.

My friend has a neighbour who hoovers his car and his drive EVERY DAY

(as if just the hoovering isn't bad enough...)

smellyeli Fri 25-Mar-11 07:42:10

Coming back to my mother's no poos downstairs - I have to say it's not a rule I have brought to our house - I think for her it's a smell issue. For me, it's a question of speed - can I poo without DD wrecking the house - and going upstairs would mean taking her with me and locking myself in the bathroom with her rather than doing an express one with the door open downstairs to keep an ear out for her and try and finish before she notices I have gone! Too much information, probably - but I think it shows that rules have to be adapted. I have to say that my FIL often does a big poo downstairs and it does sort of annoy me especially as it's usually just before I send everyone to wash hands for lunch or get coats to go out...... Some things are just too ingrained I guess!

cjel Fri 25-Mar-11 08:48:45

I Hoover my Patio, with George, kept especially for outside. Reason not to sweep it is everything gets blown about and then you have to try and pick it up anyway so just as well put it in hoover, no flying dirt, no scrabbling around for bits. I only do it about twice a year though once at end of Summer to get all leaves off and once in spring to get all winter mess off.

Lillabet Fri 25-Mar-11 09:07:01

I started reading this thread and thought you were all (pleasantly) bonkers, but as I continued to read I found myself agreeing with some of you!blush
I too have to have the loo roll the correct way round (over the top hanging down in front) but having spent a reasonable amount of time in India and seen 'roaches crawling up loo roll because it hung near the wall, it became an obsession - so many people have I visited where their loo roll has mysteriously changed direction. grin
I only have one loo in my house so the where you poo rule does not apply but I know that at my PiLs house the downstairs loo is preferred for poo, although not strictly enforced. My MiL also cleans before the cleaner arrives confused - I have NEVER understood that!
I rarely iron anything (smart dresses, shirts when we're going out) but everything else is hung to dry (prefereably outside so it smells lovely and fresh) straight and neat so it doesn't need ironing (the DH started that one, he used to do all the washing because I couldn't get it right - kept that one up for 10 years before becoming a SAHM and not being able to get away with it grin). shock at those of you who iron everything, I just cannot be bothered don't have the time.
I too occasionally brush my teeth in the shower, it is a great time saver, but I do prefer cold water to clean teeth - DH thought it was odd when he first realised I did that, although he has taken it on board for when he is in a hurry!
I hate the fact the DH loads the dishwasher and then leaves the door open to stink the kitchen out provide a perfect trip hazard! It also sends me screwy that he tips the tea bags out of the tea pot into the sink and leaves them there angry. He also has a n annoying habit of trimming his beard and emptying the trimmer down the loo - it leaves lots of little hairs floating in the loo and sticking to the bowl. It looks gross and they are a pain to clean off!!!!!! angry
We don't have any many rules in the house, perhaps that should change!! grin

Pawan - you are absolutely spot on about no sex in the clean sheets - even though I ensure that sex always happens on dh's side of the bed, so he ends up with the wet patch and ensuing marks, I still prefer to have sex before the sheets get changed, not afterwards.

And I like to be first into bed when the sheets are clean - somehow they are slightly less crisp, cool and pleasurable if dh is in there first.

bestemor Fri 25-Mar-11 13:40:38

This thread has been a great joy and consolation to me: - now I know I'm no more batty than everyone else!
With me, there are just two crimes that merit instant death: leaving the top off the wash-up liquid, so that a plug of goo develops, blocking up the hole;- and putting the wet spoon back in the sugar!! Aaaaaaargh!

bagpusss Fri 25-Mar-11 14:10:59

No shaving after bathroom cleaning
No putting away food not eaten at mealtimes
No leaving dirty dishes in sink over night
No employing of cleaner - thieving bastards
No leaving caps off felt tips
No wafting strong drinks under sensitive noses

Pammie70 Fri 25-Mar-11 16:02:53

Where do you get the time?. When my children came along I seemed to loose any spare time for doing fiddly things. Only a few rules in my house
- towels have to be hung up on towel rail to dry
- dirty crocks have to be put in the dishwasher not left lying around
- teenagers have to make sure their ironing is done by the weekend or they don't get their pocket money.

SudashesaliveItakeyoutoher Fri 25-Mar-11 16:25:15

grin at BAGPUSS - does the 'thieving bastard' cleaners that you refuse to employ include window cleaners ? Ours is an old school friend of DH otherwise I wouldnt have one. Waste of £6 imo to have a grubby chamois thrown vaguely in direction of your windows every fortnight ! I even suggested he feel free to use our outside tap to change his water thinking at least we'd get a grubby chamois dipped in clean water thrown at our windows.

So next time I watched him and his partner dutifully pour away their dirty buckets of water down my drive - wring out their chamois then fill their buckets up with lovely clean water from my tap.

Unfortunately this was after they had finished our windows angry

SudashesaliveItakeyoutoher Fri 25-Mar-11 16:26:57

Oh and BAGPUSS what do you mean by 'not putting away food not eaten' ??

Pawan Fri 25-Mar-11 17:01:31

StayingDavidTennantsGirl it makes perfect sense to me not to have sex on clean sheets - but DH always still seems to think that if I've changed the sheets, it is precisely because I'm up for it that evening.

This is one rule he seems never to recall, yet it is my only rule.

He has lots of rules , e.g. stacking dishwasher, which i do try and keep to - but he is much more obsessive better at stacking it than me.

munkysea Fri 25-Mar-11 17:31:30

My mum will not abide a kitchen bin in the house. We (and they still do) had an empty huge ice-cream on the utility worktop that could take one (1) plastic bag which we would remove and put in the wheelie bin when it was full. The logic behind this was we would never empty a proper, full-size kitchen bin. The logic never made sense to me tbh, but I didn't care that much because it's only a bin FFS.

My rule? Put MOBILE PHONE, LAPTOP CHARGERS etc away after charging is finished.

twopeople Sat 26-Mar-11 00:19:18

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