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The best jokes and riddles!!!

Some of the best ones are:

1.What fish catches a mouse? 

 1.A cat fish

2.There once was a father and his son. First, the son asked his father, "Dad, is god black or white?" the father answered, "both." The second time, the son asked, "Dad, is god a man or a women?" His father replied, "both." The last time, the son asked his father, "Dad, is god Micheal Jackson?"

3.What's the longest word in the world?

3.It's "Smiles" because there's a mile between the word.

4.Marry's father has 5 daughters, Neena, Teena, Leena, and Deena, what's the name of his 5th daughter?

4.It's Marry (look at the first words of the question)

5.What's something that when u name u brake?

5.It's silence

6.What's something that when it eats it grows, when it drinks, it gets smaller?

6.It's fire

7. Once, Micheal Jackson and his wife were in the birth room. His wife had just born a baby. Then, MJ asked the doctor, "Doctor, how long should we wait till we have sex?" Then, the doctor replied, "I would wait till his at least 14 ." ( Do you get it? the doctor thought that MJ was asking about his son, not his wife. lol )

This is my own joke:

8.There were two women. The first one asked the other, "If you'd choose a person that opens your heart, who would that be?" The other women said, "duh......I'd choose a surgeon, who else?"  

(The Funny Things to Say):

1.I like ur eyes and ur smile...damn I'm good at telling lies!

2.You're unique...just like everyone else

3.Everybody has the right to be stupid, but ur braking the rules!

4.Keep earth clean, it's not Ur-anus

5.Make love not war. Condoms are cheaper than guns

6.Be cool...don't go to school

7.The more I learn, the more I forget. So why would I learn?

8.If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

9.Don't steel, the government hates competition

10.Yo mama's so stupid, she stole free bread

11.Yo mama's glasses are so thick, she can see into the future

After you read all of these jokes, please tell me what u thought of them. I'd REALLY appreciate that a lot.



HeartLove HeartLove 18-21, F 23 Responses Mar 20, 2007

Your Response


nice. :))

Haha worth the read. Well done with your own joke


Omg! That made my day!



I like 8 and 4. I have heard 4 b4.

The stuff will surely bring me back here time and again.

<p>i liked most of them, but i found the michael jackson ones quite offensive, y'see i am a massive fan, but its your story, you can post jokes i don't agree with and omg most were HILLARIOUS!!</p>

that was the best jokes i have ever heard u should be on tv

thanks a lot to all of you :D and im happy for making your day xx

i love this,i cant stop laughing :D thank u so much for making my day ! i love you

these are so funny and dome lolololololololololoolo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



it very very funny keep it up baby!! and do some with sex and love

yea.. i like them all but the most that i understood was"The more I learn, the more I forget. So why would I learn ? " i luved it so much i will start to tell evry body abt it thnx <br />
xoxo<br />
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XD love ya

You got talent dear, polish it up .

thanks! the most important thing is ur smile :D

They're very good, very good...

i loved # five<br />
Male love not war,condoms are cheaper than guns.<br />
very ture and that's way it's funny<br />
keep up the good work

The last one (n.11) cracked me up. Liked that one best:P

Several cute ones, a couple nearly dirty ones that were funny, and some good word humor, I liked. There were a few ethnic things that always make me feel quilty but that are funny...then I think, WELL we do have freedom of thought and speech and a LOT of our jokes point out the differances within groups and ethnic groups are always fun, as long as we keep in mind that there are individuals within any group that are diferent from the norm, and that what is considered a NORM within an ethnic group, probably is merely a strong characteristic a lot of the time. <br />
<br />
Quips about what kids say, humor in uniform, grandpa and grandma jokes, funny things the government does, and on the way to the......whatever... jokes can be great. The ones you shared here that do fall into thee catetegories are old but good. <br />
<br />
Thanks for the laughs. <br />
<br />

haha funny :]<br />
<br />
my friend told me this one with all the recent caveman commercials:<br />
<br />
your mom, so easy a caveman can do it