OMG. A thread combining baby sex and MIL. Can't quite believe I'm doing this...

(98 Posts)
Peka Fri 18-Jan-13 13:26:30

Just had 20 week scan and it's a boy! Yay! So happy, already have one DS and this is great, wasn't actually bothered but just love knowing as now I know his name and he's a little person to me already.

HOWEVER, MIL just called me (DH called her to let her know, he's not at home right now) to say she's happy but ONLY because it's a boy, if it was a girl she wouldn't be. I quite want to break something... AIBU to be annoyed? Actually just venting rage rage rage... don't even care if I am.

StillSmilingAfterAllTheseYears Fri 18-Jan-13 13:50:00

That is seriously horrid, how awful for her to see the world that way. I'd be wary and fairly keen to give her a wwwwwiiiiidddddeeeee berth.

Peka Fri 18-Jan-13 13:50:45

Talking to my lovely DS about it, we have decided I should dress him only in pink

Snazzynewyear Fri 18-Jan-13 13:50:48

How utterly weird to actually ring up specifically to say that. It's not even as if she was caught on the hop and just blurted it out!

I would be tempted to ask 'so, would you have been advising me to get a termination if it was a girl?'

Peka Fri 18-Jan-13 13:50:57

Sorry DSis

Alligatorpie Fri 18-Jan-13 13:52:49

She sounds awful. Ignore her.

YourHandInMyHand Fri 18-Jan-13 13:53:55

My SIL did similar to me when I found out I was expecting DS. She just turned and said "ah you don't want a girl anyway, they are all LITTLE BITCHES" shock. Her 2 young DDs were in earshot. sad angry

Issues much??

Peka Fri 18-Jan-13 13:54:14

Yes she did sound quite hyper though, and there has been a bit of tragedy in the family recently so perhaps her brain is not engaged properly. I knew she wanted a boy (so weird to say that) for DS1 but thought she had chilled out by DBaby 2 - clearly not. She does adore DS1 (a little too much?) so he benefits I guess and I make a lot of effort not to bring a gender bias into his life (e.g. his fave colour is pink and yellow, I love that etc). Still a really petty side of me wants to fill the house up with girls after this - not sure how I can engineer that...

quirrelquarrel is right. It's important to raise children who can think through the blinders. Congratulations! Congratulations! I am so happy for you OP... smile

Squeakygate Fri 18-Jan-13 13:55:13

Its the kind of thing my mil would say.
I spend as little time as possible in her company.
Ignore her.
Congratulations btw!

amck5700 Fri 18-Jan-13 13:56:50

I agree that it was possibly a clumsy attempt to say that she was delighted to reassure you that she wasn't disappointed and to try to overcome any disappointment she thought you might have. How old is she? Sometimes as we get older subtlety goes right out the window!

What a knob.


Peka Fri 18-Jan-13 13:59:09

Mosman - projecting, much? How very annoying for you. I am gladdened/saddened to know I'm not the only one.

YellowTulips Fri 18-Jan-13 14:00:08

I'd call her up and tell her the scan was wrong and its a girl, so given her response you anticipate she wont want any further updates or contact.

Let he dig her own hole for a while and then say "just kidding".

Peka Fri 18-Jan-13 14:01:52

amck no she actually said "I know you would have been happy with a girl but I wouldn't and I wanted to be happy with you, and now I am SO happy" - leaves very little room for any other interpretation really. She's in her 50s. She does have many other good qualities and has had a hard life. My DH is a very nice person too and very respectful of women, but he doesn't pick up his socks. My sons (yay still very excited to say that!!) will be SAS drilled to pick up their socks, among other things...

gotthemoononastick Fri 18-Jan-13 14:11:20

Poor old girl just saying what she thinks you wanted to hear!Damned if she does and damned if she doesn't.Mil's so careful what they say ,that it comes out sounding wrong and false!Why on earth did you tell her?

betterwhenthesunshines Fri 18-Jan-13 14:13:31

See, I think you could have fun with this. Say you have decided to call him Leslie, or Valerie. Tell her you are going to follow the Tongan tradition: if their last born is a son, in a family of all sons then he is brought up as a girl (dresses an all) and fulfills all daughterly duties....

Peka Fri 18-Jan-13 14:14:26

gotthemoononastick I have to applaud the attempt to see her side. You could also add that women are less intelligent than men, are governed by all those silly hormones rather than rational thought, and that they have very few scientific advances to their names. I didn't actually tell her myself, SHE called ME to impart this gem. But nice try...

Peka Fri 18-Jan-13 14:15:03

better you are SO on my wavelength. Pink, pink, pink.

gimmecakeandcandy Fri 18-Jan-13 14:17:55

Why is she so against girls?

Right next time do the shettles method so baby no.3 is a girl... Just to annoy her!

Cherriesarelovely Fri 18-Jan-13 14:21:59

My grandma never liked my middle brother because she wanted him to be a girl!!!! It is outrageous and completely mad. I'm sorry you had to put up with similarly ridiculous comments!

gotthemoononastick Fri 18-Jan-13 14:26:45

Peka,thank you for you appreciation....I am a thick,very old,but I like to think kind person.God help her if she did not interest,self absorbed etc.The woman is excited and thrilled.Another little boy to 'get too close to'.

HazleNutt Fri 18-Jan-13 14:29:42

there's also an option to call and say congratulations, not start harping about how she would not have been happy if it was a girl.

Yoghurty Fri 18-Jan-13 14:30:46

I remember my gran telling my mum, 'I wish you had been a boy, boys are more loving'.

I don't understand that mentality and mum has always been understandably hurt by that comment. I'm not surprised that you feel angry.

Some people have very fixed ideas about gender stereotypes, don't they?

McBalls Fri 18-Jan-13 14:30:47

I wonder if some mils prefer their dils to produce boys as it replicates her son? Whereas a girl would be too much of the dil... (Not that that bears any sort of scrutiny obv...)

Peka Fri 18-Jan-13 14:31:17

You know, under the circs no phone call would have been fine! I could have had a nice day just imagining my lovely new child, had a relaxing time during DS1's nap... oh the possibilities were endless...

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