Another dress me thread

Bedtime for tweens during the summer???

Posted 07/02/2012

I have been battling with my 12 year old daughter about her bedtime every single night since she has been on summer break. She does not seem to understand that she can NOT stay up all night, making noise through out the house, lights on & off, talking on her phone, TV & radio on loud etc. I am trying to be reasonable but I am getting SO very aggravated!!! I have told her several times - you may stay up late as long as you remain in your bedroom, door shut, & I do not get waken up by noise as I have to get up very early for work in the morning. If her bedroom was in the basement & not right next to mine then things would be different. However, I can hear just about every peep & everytime she opens/closes her bedroom door. Also, I have a 10month old that is a very light sleeper. So, at times she wakes her up as well.

What are things like in your household for night time, during the work week, for your teen(s)? Do they have a bedtime? Do they have a curfew for talking on their cell phone?

Comments (38)

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Posted 07/02/2012
Kids have no idea how to be quiet. When my kids are trying to be quiet they are still loud. I swear dh walks like an elephant.

My kids can stay up late when I'm up, but if I'm going to bed they had better go to bed.
Posted 07/02/2012

In my house - there are no tv, phones, itouches, etc allowed in her room (or use after 9 PM unless we are watching a movie together) at night so that kind of takes the thrill of staying up late away.  Book reading is the only thing allowed after lights out. 

Can you suggest that you both negotiate a bedtime (maybe 10?) and limit her use of electronics.  

Of course I realize she wont like it - but twelve is too young to make these choices on their own IMO.  

BTW I have a 12 year old :)



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Last edited 07/02/2012

My older son doesn't really have a bedtime during summer. As long as he's quiet, he can stay awake. He also doesn't talk on the phone much at all and when he does it's for a really short time. The only thing I have problems with him making noise is he talks on the headset on his games sometimes. It wouldn't have been a problem if the games were in his room, but we don't allow TVs in our kids' rooms, so he plays in the gameroom that's kind of open, and that's why it was an issue, since the sound travels so easily from that room. Once everyone goes to bed, he's expected to be quiet and considerate of those who are asleep. He's lost game privileges for a day because he kept waking people up, but he doesn't have problems with it anymore.


I think you're being completely reasonable! Having a light punishment on the table helped with my son, not sure if it would help with your DD. 


ETA to fix spelling.


Kerri! Wife to John, mama to Liam (13), Lauren (9), Elena (5), Milo (4), Caroline (2) and #6 due October 4, 2012!

Posted 07/02/2012

My 12 yr old niece is staying with us this summer. I make her go to bed between 10-12. I think you should pick a bedtime and stick with it. I don't let my niece stay up all night because I have three younger kids and our household is awake by 8:30 am at the latest. I let her sleep til about 10:30 and then I wake her up. I just don't see any reason for kids to get their days and nights mixed up.

Posted 07/02/2012

ODD (11-12 in August) is in bed by 9:00.  However, she takes some meds at night that put her to sleep.  If we are doing something special, or she is having a sleep over, she takes her pills later and can stay up later.  Just this past Wed, we went to an amusement park for the day (about 3 hours away) and she was up until midnight.


"My armpits smell like tacos!!!"


Posted 07/02/2012

DS (10) is in bed by 9pm during the week and 9:30 or so on weekends unless we're out or he's at a friend's.  He goes to camp M-F while I work and has to be up and out the door by 7:30am, so if I let him go past 9pm, he's a monster.



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Posted 07/02/2012

We maintain a bedtime in the Summer.  Typically 9, but we are very flexible about it if we are doing something as a family, like staying out (amusement park, restaurant, s'mores, movie).  They are allowed to read or play quietly as late as they want, but must stay in their room except for bathroom use.  They can't just wander the house.  No tv, video games, etc.  If I am going to bed and see the light on, I will peek in and check on them.  Often, they fell asleep reading, but sometimes I remind them it is late, especially if we have somewhere we need to go the next day.  But, I SAH, so they can often sleep in as late as they want in the Summer.



Posted 07/02/2012

My DC just finished summer school so they were still in bed by 8:30 all last month.  I am letting them stay up until 10. No electronics after 9pm. I take them away so that they don't have access to them.  No TV's in their rooms either.




Posted 07/02/2012

I can't even imagine... my boys (10 & 11) just know the routine. We might start later during the summer but when we say it's time they just start doing what they need to, say good night and go to bed- lights out. There are no electronics in their room at all.

Sometimes they ask if they can stay up late and watch a movie but they know that when we say it's time for bed they go.

Summer it's usually 9:30/10p. During school days it's 8:30p/9p. So not that much of a difference. Maybe because we have a younger child (4yo) that they still accept the whole bedtime routine?

(Our routine- pj's, warm milk, and brush teeth.Their sister usually picks one of them to read to her too so that's part of it. Then bed- lights out. They're allowed to talk quietly in their room afterwards- if I can hear the conversation it's too loud.)



Posted 07/02/2012

My son 10 - 11 in August has to go to bed at 9:30 - lights out.  He doesn't have a cell phone and we don't have TV.  He only gets an hour of WII a day too and he can't play after 7 pm.  During the school year, he has to be in bed lights out at 8.  I know, I am evil mommy.  He gets sick if he stays up late too many nights in a row, plus, he is an early riser, often getting up between 6 and 7 am.  And too many late nights in a row and I am bound to have a monster too.

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