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Osho Video - Excerpted Talk: The Three Stages of Love  (, YouTube Rental)


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The Three Stages of Love

Physical Love, Psychological Love, Spiritual Love

"Your universities teach nothing about the heart, they only go on training and sharpening your head. For the head, the other is hell, for the heart, there is no other and that is heaven. So only very few poets and painters and that type of crazy people have know love.

"But that love also is psychological and your mind is not something stable, it is one thing today, it is something else tomorrow. So with the change of the mind, with the change of your psychology – which is continuously changing – your love has to change continuously. That is a great problem." Osho

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"I am using words just to create silent gaps. The words are not important so I can say anything contradictory, anything absurd, anything unrelated, because my purpose is just to create gaps. The words are secondary; the silences between those words are primary."
"And it is not only here, but far away... anywhere in the world where people will be listening to the video or to the audio, they will come to the same silence."

Osho,The Invitation, #14

The Three Stages of Love
Excerpted from: The Last Testament, Vol.2, #9

"Love can exist only as a physiological relationship, then we call it sex. And most of the people go on believing that that is love; that is only the beginning. The second is something deeper, psychological. That can be called love... what poets talk about, what musicians sing about... it has nothing to do with sex. It is just a magnetic attraction between two persons. Something transpires between two persons; they suddenly feel that they are made for each other. Something almost gives them the sense that without the other I am half, incomplete, with the other I'm complete. A sense of completion, that is the second quality... a sense of being entire, the whole circle.

"The first is very momentary, very superficial. The second is very deep, but needs great sensitivity. It is not available to everybody. The first is available to everybody. It is available to even animals birds, trees so there is nothing special in it as far as man is concerned. A man who has known love only as sex has remained below human dignity.

"Humanity begins with the second. Only a few poets, a few musicians, dancers, few sculptors have sensed it... very few people around the world, in the whole history have lived it because it needs a tremendous courage to dissolve yourself with somebody else. A moment when the other is no more the other. A moment when you can feel a tremendous at-onement....

"It happened in Ramakrishna's life. He was a man of immense sensitivity. They were passing the river Ganges in a boat going to the other side and just in the middle of the river he started shouting, 'Don't beat me. Don't beat me.' The people who were around him all were his disciples and nobody was beating him and tears were flowing from his eyes and they said, 'What are you saying, nobody is beating you.' But he was in a convulsion, as if somebody was hitting him hard. The disciples could not understand, he fell into the boat, almost unconscious. They reached to the other shore and what they say there, a man has been beaten to unconsciousness. A crowd had gathered there and the most significant thing was, that the man's clothes were torn, his back was having blood marks. They uncovered Ramakrishna's back and found the same marks and the same blood flowing out of it.

"That is the height of the second quality of love, where you can feel such oneness that if the other is dying, you will feel like dying.

"Everybody hankers for the second, but it needs a certain training in sensitivity. For example, a person who is violent in his life full of anger, jealousy, possessiveness will not be able to experience the second quality. And he will remain frustrated his whole life because what he wanted he could not get but nobody is responsible for it. He himself for it. He himself never prepared to receive something higher. You have to deserve it.

"In the first love, there is no question of deserving, it is biological. You are already gifted because nature wants to continue reproducing, it has not left to you. Nature has not left many things to man. For example, breathing has not been left to you. You may forget, you may get involved into some work and forget breathing. In sleep you are bound to forget, then there is going to be no morning for you. So the nature has kept breathing in its own control." Osho


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