Managing: Keys to giving negative feedback to employees

Managing: Keys to giving negative feedback to employees

Managing: Keys to giving negative feedback to employees











In your shoes, I’d say something like this: ”Can I give you some feedback about something? I’ve noticed that when I ask you to do something a little differently, like yesterday with XYZ, you often push back and advocate for the way you originally did it. I know this might be because you’re unclear about why what I’m asking for is preferable to the way you did it originally, and I’m glad to explain that when you’re curious — but the way you’ve been framing it has come across as almost argumentative. I don’t think you intend it that way, and in fact I used to approach things in a similar way until someone helped me see how it was coming across, and so I wanted to talk to you about it.”

Then stop and listen to what she says. She might be shocked that she’s coming across that way, in which case you could explain why and suggest some alternate ways of framing her response. Or she might think her responses have been justified and dispute that there’s anything wrong with it, in which case you’ll need to calmly and nicely help her see what the problem is. Or she might be quiet or a little upset, the way some people are when they get this kind of feedback, in which case you might assure her that she does great work overall (if indeed she does) and explain that this kind of feedback is how she’ll get ever better, and try to send her off feeling as good as you can.

Tone will matter here, by the way. You don’t want your tone to convey, “I’m taking you to task for overstepping,” but rather “I think you’re great and I want to help you refine a work habit that you probably didn’t realize was a problem, and this is a normal thing lots of us have to learn.” (Mentioning your own experience with this can be a good way of reinforcing that. It’s going to help convey “this is a normal thing to have to learn. I’m not saying you’re horribly flawed.”)

After that, if it happens again, raise it in the moment when it’s happening. For example, if you ask her to do X rather than Y and she starts telling you why she did Y, say, “I’m not sure if you’re advocating for doing Y, or if you’re just helping me understand why you did Y in the first place.” If it’s the latter, say, “I don’t want you to feel like you have to explain yourself on things like that to me. As long as you understand to do X going forward, that’s really good enough.”
