Gift Requests

By Peggy Post

By Philip Friedman/Studio D

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Every year, my aunt sends me a Christmas gift that I either can't use or don't want. I feel guilty if I return it and guilty if I stash it in the attic, unused. Is it okay to tell my aunt what I'd really like for Christmas?


It's always okay to let someone know your preferences -- the trick is to do it delicately. If you don't spend a lot of time with your aunt, it's likely that she doesn't understand your tastes well enough to select something appropriate. Visiting, emailing and letter writing during the year can make it easier for her to shop for you come the holidays. You could also say, as Christmas nears: "You're always so thoughtful! If you'd like any ideas to make it easier for you ..." Then again, if you aren't close and aren't able to spend much time together, there's nothing wrong with returning the gift to the store and exchanging it for something you can use. Whatever you decide, stop feeling guilty. Your aunt obviously cares a lot about you, or she wouldn't send gifts. The last thing she'd want is to cause stress during the season of joy.

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