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None For Me, Thanks.

for a variety of reasons.

the main one being that i want the cycles of mental illness and poor parenting to stop with me.

also, and this is selfish, but i have things that i want to do with my life, beyond dedicating it to the upbringing of another person. i want to live. i want to learn. i want to travel.

another reason is that i would obsessed with worry about them. are they healthy? are they safe? are they happy? are they growing up to be good people? that's not a healthy parent/child relationship, or a happy mental place for me.

people (especially older people, but not exclusively) love to ask me things like "well, when are you planning on having kids?" whenever i say "never" they immediately start the attack. why not? that's not a good enough reason! you'll change your mind one of these days!

i've decided that the next time someone asks i'm going to tell them it's because i was actually born with both male and female genitalia, and as a hermaphrodite i don't possess a working reproductive system. that should do it, i think.

journeyfulloflaughter journeyfulloflaughter 26-30, F 15 Responses Jan 22, 2008

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Children can cost a large amount of money in their lifetimes, and if they are anything like my friends you're not out of the water when they turn 18 (my 30 year old friends still borrow their parents' car/live at home). Think of all the money you'll save and then YOU will look after you in your old age. I have plans to go into a nursing home with my girlfriends assuming their husbands will die first, since men tend to die younger then women. Who needs kids to visit when you have your best friends with you every day?
Also having kids now a days can be one of the most selfish acts out there. Having them because YOU want someone to love and to love you back, or to look after you in old age, or to "see what a little me would be like" is incredibly selfish. There are people starving, a planet dying, garbage mountains growing, and so on. We certainly do not need to add on to the population. I think standing up to outdated societal norms is very brave and needed, or else how does change ever start?
I don't want children either.

hi I am one of those people that had nothing but problems and still can imagine my life with out kids. unfortunately i had a work place that did not respect my rights as a person and a husband tat just pushed and pushed for me to keep the pregnancy. and in general so angry wish i could adopt these kids out 98% of the time i wish the people would have left me alone. And have a grate respect for standing up for what u believe but as one person has said the hamafridte and society need to change their attitude and wish i could have my tubs done so i never have to have the stress and up set agine it is so sole distorying. since having gone thought the pregnancy and have the twins all i think about is dying and never waking up. i have a husband that will not let me have tubs tied and at least give me some comfort.

I used to struggle with this too. Now I look people straight in the face and tell them. Having Children is a personal choice and we have decided its not for us. then i smile.<br />
I still hear the Oh you'll change your mind. but they pretty much leave me alone,

Lol, don't make up a story, just tell them the truth when explaining why you won't have kids, parenting is just not for you.

I don't think it's selfish to not have kids because you don't want them. What's selfish is having kids because of societal pressure or primal urges etc and not care for them. What's selfish is having kids you can't take care of and expect others to help you out. You are doing none of those things so you are definately not selfish. And BTW the hermaphrodite excuse won't work. They will push you to adopt children then.

I agree. I think it's most important to look after your OWN needs at this time rather than anyone elses. Let yourself take the time you need to truly feel instead of react.

I commend you - this is a very levelheaded and sensible view - it's totally up to you.

I want kids on one level but I just think its best that I don't have them I would hate to have a kid grow up with the problems that I have had.

ooh, good call, buffyanne!

......i just don't want kids.........<br />

I think those are all good reasons not to have children, and not at all selfish.

yay! i'm glad you understand where i'm coming from :)

I think it's great that you have come to this decision. The world doesn't need more kids. There are way more than enough to go around.<br />
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I think society shouldn't be putting pressure on people to have kids, especially when it's not the right thing for them to be doing.<br />
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There are a ton of things you can do with your life. Why should being a parent be one of those things?

the only concern i have about not having kids is who will take care of me in my old age. and that's not really a good reason to have kids. i'm hoping my brother has some and i can get them to visit me in the nursing home....

not with old people, i don't think.