Family dinner: Is a rushed meal better than nothing?


Happy family dining togetherThe Wall Street Journal has a story today about the family dinner — not just a story about the benefits of sitting down regularly for a meal, but about how much time today’s families actually spend at the table.

It’s not pretty. A study by the National Center of Substance Abuse at Columbia University shows that 32 percent of families spend fewer than 20 minutes at dinner.

I certainly don’t have the answer. Unless we are having a fascinating discussion (and I find it hard to be fascinating more than once a week), it’s hard to hold my daughters at the table after their food is gone. They have things to get back to — homework, TV, their phones. I’d say 20 minutes sounds about right for us.

How long do your family dinners last? And how long do you think you need to sit at the table to even call it a family dinner?


Categories: In the news
Tracy Ormsbee

12 Responses

  1. Dina says:

    We try not to schedule a huge amount of activities for afternoons and weeknight. We’d rather spend the weekend doing those, so that we have time at night for homework, reading and relaxing. Doing homework together isn’t such a bad thing, really. It gives us a chance to bond with our kids. Dinners last for varying amounts of time, depending on what else is going on. On Fridays we like to sit around together for at least an hour, sometimes more…but we’re usually watching a movie when we do that. Weeknights tend to be shorter…maybe half an hour.

  2. MBAMom says:

    Yes, something is better than nothing. If anything else, it’s stability. For us, I would say 20 minutes is a long dinner, but that is more of a function of the baby’s fussiness than anything else. She gets fed first, then we eat but by the time the 5 year old is done, she is tired of eating and/or playing in her high chair but it’s good for the older one to talk with us and learn good table manners.

  3. maggie says:

    20 minutes sounds sufficient for me. What are you supposed to do, sit there and wait until the food goes cold so that you can have “meaningful conversation”? And where does the assumption come from that dinner is the only place where famlies bond? Why not just finish dinner and sit together somewhere more comfortable if you are going to discuss War and Peace?

  4. jsc says:

    family dinners are “mandatory” events, 100% phone and TV free….usually about 30 to 40 minutes…more if you include food prep and setting table. ANY time is better than no time. We had the quick bite to eat (together) and dashed out the door to a school or sporting event, etc… view is that we aren’t just people sharing a house and fridge, we are a family, a unit. (Ok, so I am a little over the top with this :-) )

  5. Magpies says:

    Our kids are older and do not have the same schedules, so meals are ready early and placed in the refrig if someone is at work, school, etc., and has to eat later. We manage sit-down dinners about twice weekly now…and for about 30 minutes.

  6. lizzie2 says:

    In the day, dinner was a must every night, even if it was only two of us due to scheds and 20-30 minutes of actual sitting down time was average. When the kids were younger and the in-laws still with us, a Saturday night/Sunday afternoon family dinner would be much longer. As jsc wrote, any time is better than none.

  7. meg says:

    We have a toddler so we are lucky if family dinner last more that 10! We will ask him about his day and engage him in using table manners and conversation. As soon as he is done he usually attempting to play with objects on the table so 10 min and done!

  8. VS says:

    We seem to follow a somewhat backward family dining routine

  9. VS says:

    Wow – not sure what was happening there.

    As I was saying, our routine is somewhat backwards. Our kids are older (13 and 9) and there’s a lot going on during the week. But we always manage to come together for dinner, even if it’s late, like 7:30 or 8:00, or even 8:30 at times. It’s a great way for all of us to catch up with each other and regroup. On the weekends, family dinners are hit-or-miss because of outings or sleepovers, etc. But during the week, I’d say 20 minutes is just about right.

  10. Michael says:

    We rarely have a family dinner around the dining room table unless company or relatives are over.

  11. Kathleen says:

    When I was a kid, dinners every night were about an hour. I could not schedule anything with friends until 7 p.m. (dinner started at 6 p.m.) and when I left to go out, everyone else was still at the table. It’s more than just eating — sure, the food was gone by then, but with everyone talking about their day, you just can’t possibly get that done in 20 min. It would take us a good 10 min just to tell one great story from the day.