In my dreams...

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In my dreams...
Sun, 10-28-2012 - 8:38pm

I noticed a pattern this morning when I woke up from...errr..the baby woke me up dream.  I was dreaming that there was this guy, and he was all into me.  I was apprehensive because we just met and he seemed far too into me to really know me well enough.  But I gave in and kissed him, and then later in the dream suddenly he had a receding hairline and a beer gut and far too much chest hair sticking out of his shirt.  It was like he went from my idea of attractive to my idea of only attractive from a distance.  It was weird.

So that got me to thinking....maybe I project this future-unattractiveness onto men when I meet them and that's why I don't like anyone anymore.  I've kind of give up on a guy actually turning out to be good like I think he is.

I keep going back and forth on whether I'm into my crush or not.  I was all excited about seeing him, then I noticed he was friendly with a few women and got jealous.  Then there were more women he was friendly with and I decided that he was maybe a player.  Then I realized that he was friends with some guys that play trivia who seem rather jerky to me.  I decided I wasn't interested anymore.  But then this past week...I changed my mind back.  I can find all these things that could possibly be wrong with him and I barely know him! 

I do have his number now, and he has mine.  Last Saturday night (when I was super pissed and had a drink or two too many), my girlfriend (the one who asked for his number weeks ago and was standing between us) texted him to tell him we weren't going to make it to see his band b/c we couldn't drive.  I don't remember why, but she asked me if I wanted his number.  Being uninhibited at the moment, I took it and texted him, something about me being the one that couldn't drive and making fun of his "later tator" sign off to my friend.  His response...a picture of a tator tot.  And that was it.  He did seem excited to see me on Thursday, and I swear there were some glances my way.  Maybe some extended eye contact.  He always wants to eat a few of my fries (we both like them with mustard).  But no goodbye this week or anything.  I feel like I'm in high school again and can't seem to talk to my crush. Sheesh.  The problem is that I lose interest really quickly if the guy doesn't reciprocate.  If I had been in a better mood last week...or actually, I was in a good mood, my friend was not...I maybe would have gotten some actual flirting in.  I'm always surrounded by people, too, so that's a big problem. 

I'm really starting to believe I'm hopeless when it comes to men!!!


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002
Tue, 10-30-2012 - 10:32am

Hmm......sounds like this guy could be interested.....but either may not really be into dating exclusively......hard to say.......

I know what you mean about projecting images onto men.....sometimes a guy will do something that reminds me of an ex in some way and I just totally lose interest. may be the smallest thing.........

I have a feeling you're okay with men Shy!!  :)

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 10-30-2012 - 11:12am
I hate when I find someone I'm interested in, think the feeling is mutual, and then he starts giving someone else more attention. Nine times out of ten, I'll forget he ever existed. Not because I lose interest really, but because I'm that prideful and stubborn. Good thing or bad, that's just how I'm made. For what it's worth, I highly doubt you are hopeless either.
Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Tue, 10-30-2012 - 7:02pm

I've gotten that impression too- that he just really likes the attention of lots of women.  I've encountered lots of men like that lately  It's annoying!  Just pick one already!

Thanks for the vote of confidence.  It's been over five years now since I've kept anyone around for more than a date or two, so I'm beginning to wonder if it'll ever happen again.