Joke of the day

Joke of the day

Every man needs a go-to joke.

Joke N° 5521
The Greatest Sin Of All
Three nuns on a train had been getting to know one another and decided to tell each other their greatest sins. The first nun says, "My greatest sin is sex. Every year I go out for a week and work as a prostitute. Of course, I put all the money I earn into the poor box." The second nun says, "My greatest sin is drinking. Every year I take the money from the poor box and go out drinking for a solid week." The third nun just sits there quietly. Finally, the first nun says to her, "Come on, we've told you our worst sins. Now you have to tell us yours." The third nun says, "My greatest sin is that I gossip and I can't wait to get off this train!"
Ryan Murphy
Joke N° 5522
Irritation, Aggravation and Frustration
A boy asks his father to explain the differences among irritation, aggravation, and frustration. His father picks up the phone and dials a number at random. When the phone is answered, he asks, "Can I speak to Doug, please?" "No, there's no one called Doug here," says the person who answered the phone. His father hangs up. "That's irritation," he says. He picks up the phone again, dials the same number and asks for Doug a second time. "No, there's no one here named Doug. Stop calling!" the person says. His father hangs up and says, "That's aggravation." "Then what's frustration?" asks his son. The father picks up the phone and dials the same number a third time. "Hello, this is Doug," he says casually, "Have I received any phone calls?"
Ryan Murphy
Joke N° 5523
First Bra
A very flat-chested woman finally decided that she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale lingerie store and asked the sales lady, "Do you have a size 28AAAA bra?" The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another lingerie store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third unsuccessful try at another store, she became very distraught. She left the mall and drove to K-Mart. Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, "Do you have anything for this?" The clerk looked closely at her and replied, "Have you tried Clearasil?"
Ryan Murphy
Joke N° 5524
Dirty Dog
A very proper man started going into the neighborhood drugstore every week and buying three boxes of condoms. Week after week he would come in with the same order. One day the druggist felt he had to say something to the man. "Wow, you must have the stamina of a bull," he said, "Talk about getting lucky! How on earth do you use that many condoms in a week?" The man looked at him in disgust and said, "I beg your pardon but I find the whole idea of sex repulsive!" "So," the druggist asked, "Then what do you do with all those condoms?" The gentleman answered, "I feed them to my poodle and now she poops in little plastic bags."
Ryan Murphy
Joke N° 5525
Now Hear This!
An older gentleman had lost his hearing aid and wanted to get a new one. Before getting the new device, however, he decided to get his ear cleaned out by his doctor. As the doctor was cleaning his ears, he noticed a foreign object lodged in the man's ear canal. With a pair a tweezers, the doctor removed the object. Upon closer examination, he discovered that it was a suppository. The doctor told the older gentleman that he had a suppository stuck in his ear. "Oh bugger!" the man exclaimed, "At least now I know where I put my hearing aid!"
Ryan Murphy
Joke N° 5526
Get Your Goat
Two guys were out hiking when they came upon an old, abandoned mine shaft. Curious about its depth, they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking bottom. They waited for over a minute but didn't hear anything. They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited. Again, they didn't hear anything. They searched the area for something larger and came upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty, the two men carried it to the opening and threw it in. While waiting for it to hit bottom, a goat suddenly darted between them and dove into the hole. The guys were still standing there with astonished looks on their faces when a man walked up to them. He asked them if they had seen a goat anywhere in the area. They said that one had just jumped into the mine shaft in front of them! The man replied, "Oh no. That couldn't be my goat. Mine was tied to a railroad tie."
Ryan Murphy
Joke N° 5527
The Biggest Lie
A minister was passing a group of young teens sitting on a church lawn and stopped to ask what they were doing. "Nothing much, Pastor," replied one boy, "We were just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about their sex life." "Boys, boys, boys!" he scolded, "I'm shocked. When I was your age, I never even thought about sex." In unison they all replied, "You win!"
Ryan Murphy

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