This fic has turned into the "Let's include everyone who is dead...and then some!" Fic... Let's see how this works out...

I still don't own Devil May Cry. Losers :P


Much to Eva's mortification, "Scarlet Eva" caught on and followed her through her pseudo graduation (read: "Eugh! I'm done with this! Let me kill stuff!") and right into her actual career. Her reputation had done her good in the relationship department, as in people weren't accusing her of being a pushover. It also hurt her. Frankly, all the guys in the base thought she was psycho and the girls, well, were equally or more scared of her.

True, there were the occasional oddballs like Kalina and Raze, and her superior officers respected and befriended her as much as rank would allow, but she never quite got over the closed off feeling. Not that it was a new thing. She just usually had concerts and music to let her deal with it. Mosh pits are just rooms full of people in dire need of human contact, and she reveled in that feeling. Just standing in the middle of a crowd and soaking in the beat and the personalities around her, especially right after her dad died. Now that she was an anti-demon army girl, she barely had the time for it, and the curfews set on them did dampen whatever type of lifestyle she could fit in between missions...not that it really stopped her.

She usually didn't entertain such thinking but...well, she was a year older. She had and always would think birthdays sucked. This one was no different. Kalina and Raze did say they had a little party planned in that night, and she could look forward to the supposed unveiling of Kalina's new, and yet unnamed, gun. She let herself smile at that.

Kalina, as it turned out, was actually Sarah's niece, making her one of the descendants of the priesthood that founded Artemis, and apparently a very important person in whatever hierarchy that ran the place. She was kindhearted, yet very slight girl. As young as she looked, Eva hadn't realized that she was actually younger. At their first meeting she was only sixteen.

God knows how she got interested in high powered weaponry in the first place... but she was good at it. The gun she was making, whenever Eva could sneak a look without Kalina going on the warpath, was frankly amazing. It was probably just about as big as Kalina was and had so many cool things on it, you could drool over it. To get any idea of what it was like one would have to crossbreed a missile launcher and a swiss army knife...and then probably add some very deadly nail clippers or something.

Oh yes, Eva was very excited to see the finished product.

"Look who's here! It's the birthday girl!" Eva looked up in surprise, finding a voice she hadn't expected. It was her superior by several ranks, Roemer, though he'd smoothly ordered her to call him Alex two days ago. Eva felt that familiar trill up her backbone when she'd been caught doing something she shouldn't be. This little birthday party was set at midnight, well past curfew.

Kalina popped up over his shoulder with an apologetic look and a shrug. "Uuhm, Colonel Roemer here kinda invited himself." Raze snorted behind her, apparently in one of his moods, mumbling something about newbie soldiers made into colonels.

Eva stood up to her full height in front of Roemer. He was one of the few people who could match her height and it bugged her to no end. Not to mention she had a sneaking suspicion he liked her...and she just didn't know how to deal with that.

She opened her mouth to comment but immediately snapped it shut again. Best not to upset the man who could send her back to "101 Demons of he Universe" class. She brushed past him, opting for the cold shoulder breed of insults rather than verbal ones.

She pushed open the door to the experimental weapons room with a grin. Instead of streamers, they'd thought to string ammo belts with rifle rounds through the low ceiling rafters, table centerpieces where empty gunclips, and the small cake was ready to be cut with a sword.

"Oh, you guys know me so well," she cooed, practically floating over to the table to admire the centerpiece. Kalina was glowing.

"You like it? Really?" She immediately shot off into a speech of how she'd thought to put everything together, her excitement taking hold. Raze and Eva gave each other identical looks of "there she goes again". Roemer was still standing next to the door, eyeing the decorations and questioning his taste in women.


"And I thought, what am I supposed to use for adhesive? So I..."


"But when I tried that it kind of caught on"

"Kalina!" Eva clapped her hands an inch away from the girl's face.

"Huh?" Kalina blinked and looked at Eva innocently.

Eva sighed, putting her hand on her hip, "Is the Swiss Army Knife of Doom ready?"

"The what?" Roemer mumbled. Eva shushed him.

Kalina's mad scientist grin rose to the surface. "Of course, of course. Turn around, everyone!" She motioned with her hand.

After much clanking, oofs, and small squeaks from Kalina, they heard something clunk onto the table. "Alright! Turn around"

Spinning on her heel, Eva saw the what Dr. Frankenstein would have made if he were a weapons manufacturer. Pieces of every weapon imaginable had been cannibalized and welded together in such a masterful way it could make any warrior cry. It was in sore need of a new paintjob and a plausible way to carry it, but, to her, it was beautiful.

Eva leaned over it as Kalina shot off into another explanation. She recognized most of it as it had all been in boxes Kalina had periodically lugged into the shop. But this she didn't recognize. It was a simple black box stuck to the side with a small lense covered hole in the front.

Raze spotted it too, eyebrow twitching upwards. He tapped it a little, making Kalina jump in the middle of her speech.

"Oh, bad, don't do that." She waved Raze's hands away as Roemer crept up to get a better look.

"What is it?" Eva asked, resisting the urge to tap it again, just to get that reaction out of her.

Kalina shrugged, "Not sure, but the government doesn't know it's missing yet."

Roemer, to his credit, was beginning to catch on to the seemingly innocent girl's idiosyncrasies, not that he didn't blanche at the comment anyway.

"When I can get it to work it sends out these really cool mini missiles made of pretty much pure energy wrapped around little beads of copper." She grinned, "They seek out another heat source in front of them and go boom."

"Wouldn't the user be a heat source?" Eva asked warily.

"Yeah," Kalina put a finger to her chin, "Therein lies the problem. That and sometimes they just go off at random. That's still in the works though." She shrugged again, as if it wasn't a problem.

Raze sighed, "C'mon time to get the watchamacallit back into its hopefully blast resistant box. Sooner the better."

Then something bad happened and, as bad things tend to do, it happened unexpectedly. As they lifted the gun off of the table the grappling hook dislodged itself and launched out, right at Eva. Ever ounce of the reflexes she'd gained in the past month went to use as the world went into slow motion. She kicked off of the table, spinning in hope that it would slide over her head instead of somewhere that'd hurt much, much more. All she could think, really, was how sucky a way this would be to die...

The slow motion world slammed back into normal speed as she felt a sharp burn across the back of her neck. That shock was followed soon after with another one as she stopped moving all together.

As soon as the fluids in her brain stopped sloshing around and the room ceased its imitation of a funhouse, she found herself, for the first time in her life, wishing she had worn a little more makeup, or...done something, because she felt horribly inadequate at that moment.

Staring back at her were the single most intense ice blue eyes she had ever seen, and his face! Oh boy. Had she remembered to brush her hair today? It could be a complete tangled gross looking...oh, he was smiling at her! Wow. She had to sit down now.

...And then she snapped out of it. She closed her eyes and kept them that way until she regained some small piece of sanity in a sea of pheromones. When she had assured herself that she was as sane as could be hoped, she opened her eyes.

He hadn't disappeared.

Resisiting the urge to compare this complete stranger with a greek god, Eva shook her head.

"Ohmygod! Eva, I'm so sorry!" Kalina was hovering, too scared to actually touch her in case she would spontaneously combust.

"Well," Eva mumbled, swiping a hand across the back of her neck to look curiously at the blood, "the grappling hook works!"

Raze ambled over with one of his long suffering sighs, pulling out a dejected toolbox with a white plus sign on it. A roll of very greasy looking gauze poked out of the side and several bandaids were being used to hold the lid on. The weapons master didn't seem concerned, but Eva did.

"Ooh no no!" Eva clamped a hand over her neck and pointed at Raze with her other hand, "I've seen how you 'fix' your guns! You're not touching me."

Raze made a betrayed face.

The new guy snorted lightly before walking out from behind her, "She has got a point, Raze." Eva tried to hide her surprised. She narrowed her eyes at him with a whole new line of questions. She prided herself in the fact that very few people could sneak up on her, and now this guy shows up and she couldn't even sense him. Not only that but... how couldn't anyone notice a guy like him?

He was tall, taller than her even, with the possibly whitest hair she'd ever seen. He was...simply put, incredibly intense. He just had a feeling around him, imposing, like he was trying to not be threatening. He was doing better than Roemer though, that was for sure. He seemed to have puffed up like an angry cat, eyes locked on the other man, hand unsubtly on his gun holster.

"Whatever," Raze mumbled and handed a thankfully clean looking roll of gauze over to him. The man nodded with a half smile before kneeling in front of Eva. She was frowning uncontrollably, shoulders tense, eyes zeroed in on him. She didn't like feeling uneasy, he was very much not helping, and yes sir, she was going to hold him accountable for it.

"That was an impressive move you did, are you a soldier here?" He asked, valiantly trying to avoid the glare he had somehow gotten aimed at him. Eva scoffed.

"That's what they keep telling me... now, if they'd just let me go on a meaningful mission..." Eva shifted her glare over at Roemer who made a clueless face. She huffed but couldn't keep her anger boiling as usual, "What about you...uh...person with a name...this is the part where you help me out."

He paused as he unwound the gauze as if he would never guess someone would ask for his name. He scanned the room with a frown, stopping on Roemer for a blink, then shifting back to her.

"You may call me Sparda."

Eva heard a squeak in the direction Kalina and Raze were standing. She turned her head a notch to see Raze clamping both his hands over Kalina's mouth, a very determined look on his face. Until he realized Eva was looking and slapped on an uncharacteristically bright smile. She looked at them with raised eyebrows before deciding she didn't have the energy to question it.

"Ookay," she sighed as Sparda reached around her neck to wrap the gauze several times, trying to ignore how close he was, "I suppose you can call me Eva, then."

Sparda's eyebrow quirked up, "That explains it...Scarlet Eva?"

She made a frustrated growl, "I am going to find out who gave me that name and they are going to be shot!"

He couldn't help himself. Sparda laughed for the first time in longer than he'd like to admit.

"It suits you." He said, stopping her in the middle of her tirade. Eva frowned and stuttered, trying to come up with something cutting and witty.

She settled on glaring at him again.

Roemer put a hand protectively on Eva's shoulder, "Do you want me to take–"

"No." Eva bit before standing up and leaving with a flick of her hair and a definite extra something in the twist of her hips. Raze finally let Kalina go after Eva had disappeared, exchanging a look with Sparda.

"So..." Kalina spoke up meekly, "Does anyone want cake?"


Most everyone couldn't help but notice that Eva was one shade angrier that next day. She didn't mind. Rooms cleared faster than usual when she stalked in, the people from her unit laid off the teasing in favor of self-preservation, and, best of all, no one asked about the bandage wound around her neck. Kalina was the only one who dared come within several yards of her, determined to be at her beck and call to make up for the fiasco that was the night before. Eva hadn't said more than a few words about it anyway. As a matter of fact, she hadn't said much of anything.

Whenever Eva was mad, she didn't speak her thoughts, she displayed them...violently. Which brought her to the firing range. Lucky for all, no one was there that day, leaving her and Kalina to themselves. She didn't even stop for the ear protectors. She just stepped up to a booth and started hauling off on one of the human shaped paper sheets. When one had been shot into tiny shreds, she moved on to the next one. Kalina could only sit dejectedly in the booth next to her, arms folded, trying to figure out what to say.

She found her chance when Eva stopped to fumble for a gun clip on her fourth target.

"You're mad at me, aren't you?" Kalina sighed.

Eva looked at her as she knocked the two clips back into place with her hips, "No." She sighed.

"Really?" Kalina leaned around the glass barricade, "Because you're mad at someone. I could have sworn..."

Eva tossed her a look before flicked the safety off again. She leveled the gun and let off two rounds with near perfect aim. A lightbulb lit up over Kalina's head.

"Oh!" She said between shots, "I know who it is! It's Sparda!"

Kalina's sentence was perfectly punctuated by the sound of a ricochet.

Eva's shoulders where drawn up and her stance tense. Her face, however, showed a very sadisitic smile when she zeroed back in on the target

"No." Bang, "Not him. The bastard..." Eva answered smoothly before firing three more rounds.

"But! What...who would..." Kalina was getting angry at being obviously lied to. She put her hands on her hips, "Look, I'm trying to be nice here!"

Eva let off the last shot before turning to face Kalina, "I'm mad at me. Me." Eva pointed at herself with what Kalina hoped was an empty gun. "Here I am Ms. Hardcore-freaking-Scarlet-Eva, and I'm going all ga-ga over some stupid guy! I have never acted this stupid in my entire life! I'm an idiot!" Kalina ducked behind a plastic partition as Eva swung her gun around again.

Eva paused and looked at the Glocks in her hands as if she hadn't realized they were there, "Jesus! Look at me! I'm pointing a gun at myself!" Eva sunk back down, dropping her guns on either side of her, and leaned against a nearby table. She pinched the bridge of her nose and closing her eyes with a small groan. Kalina quickly deflated, pacing over and taking up the space next to her. They sat in a halfway comfortable silence before Eva loosened up and let her hand drop to her knees.

"Kalina?" She looked up at the ceiling, shoulders slumping.


"We're going to end up getting ourselves killed, aren't we?"


They both looked at each other and grinned before finally breaking down in complete senseless laughter.