Mariah Carey sits in front of her new MacBook that Nick bought her for Christmas and holds one of her precious babies on her lap. Is it Monroe? Or maybe Moroccan? Damn, she forgot again. She's wearing a Santa red mini dress and sky high pumps on her feet. Her Santa cap hasn't left her head in days. December is a weird time in the Carey household and everyone knows it. All of her holiday staff is fully aware of what December means to her.

Mariah clicks on over to YouTube as she pets Monroe's head softly. Her tracked search for "All I Want For Christmas Is You" is quickly pulled up and she breathes a heavy sigh. 15 new videos.


She watches each one carefully and with restraint. "Just like Idol," she tells herself. She scrolls down to the comments and sees a couple that say, "still not as good as Mariah" and "haha you can't hit that A5, you suck." A wide grin spreads across her face and she bounces her unknown child on her lap.

The next video that pops up (embedded above) starts with Conan O'Brien. He's introducing someone named Demi Lovato? This looks like some sort of big show. Uh oh. The music starts up and Mariah goes and puts her kid on a nearby shelf of Grammys. She can feel the pain growing inside of her and wants to keep her baby safe. Mariah recalls seeing Demi as a judge on that show, The X Factor, or "Idol for poor people," as Mariah likes to call it.

Demi is hitting all of the right notes and at this point Mariah starts to join in. She takes out her diamond studded microphone (she always has it on call) and begins to sing over her. "You're on top of the vocals," she hears her imaginary Laurie Ann Gibson coo into her ear. Mariah takes it easy for now.

But then the camera pans into the audience and she sees the Obama family grinning. She realizes that Demi is performing this for a The White House Christmas concert. She pauses the video and screeches so loudly that a nearby window has a giant break. A whistle register will do that, you know.

She watches the rest of the video and waits for the high note. Demi pulls it off. The young singer, the one that is causing Mariah to grow as red as her Santa dress, holds the note out for a very long time. Mariah knows that she now has to destroy this Demi person. It is her new destiny.