Emma eBook



What totally different feelings did Emma take back into the house from what she had brought out!—­she had then been only daring to hope for a little respite of suffering;—­she was now in an exquisite flutter of happiness, and such happiness moreover as she believed must still be greater when the flutter should have passed away.

They sat down to tea—­the same party round the same table—­ how often it had been collected!—­and how often had her eyes fallen on the same shrubs in the lawn, and observed the same beautiful effect of the western sun!—­But never in such a state of spirits, never in any thing like it; and it was with difficulty that she could summon enough of her usual self to be the attentive lady of the house, or even the attentive daughter.


As long as Mr. Knightley remained with them, Emma’s fever continued; but when he was gone, she began to be a little tranquillised and subdued—­and in the course of the sleepless night, which was the tax for such an evening, she found one or two such very serious points to consider, as made her feel, that even her happiness must have some alloy.  Her father—­and Harriet.  She could not be alone without feeling the full weight of their separate claims; and how to guard the comfort of both to the utmost, was the question.  With respect to her father, it was a question soon answered.  She hardly knew yet what Mr. Knightley would ask; but a very short parley with her own heart produced the most solemn resolution of never quitting her father.—­She even wept over the idea of it, as a sin of thought.  While he lived, it must be only an engagement; but she flattered herself, that if divested of the danger of drawing her away, it might become an increase of comfort to him.—­ How to do her best by Harriet, was of more difficult decision;—­ how to spare her from any unnecessary pain; how to make her any possible atonement; how to appear least her enemy?—­ On these subjects, her perplexity and distress were very great—­ and her mind had to pass again and again through every bitter reproach and sorrowful regret that had ever surrounded it.—­ She could only resolve at last, that she would still avoid a meeting with her, and communicate all that need be told by letter; that it would be inexpressibly

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Emma from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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