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What would you say to Jon and Kate??

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  • What would you say to Jon and Kate??

    I was so hoping that they would be the couple to really make it, but now they're disintegration in public. What would you offer them?

  • #2
    Jon and Kate joys of celebrity???

    Originally posted by art View Post
    the first thing I'd want to offer Jon and Kate is a way to hear each other without blame or judgment, and that is asking a lot given the power struggle they're in - and it can be facilitated...
    I think there is more and more evidence that being public puts a terrible strain (as if there isn't enough already with ANY marriage and with 8 kids???) on any relationship. The notion that we (the public) actually "know" the people who show up on so called reality TV is in my view a distortion, although an entertaining one!
    So, since the evidence is in that Jon and Kate aren't recognizing the damage the public exposure can do, I would offer them a gifted facilitator who would guide them in how to walk through what's next with a balance of personal authenticity, and a way to hear the other with maximum understanding and benefit of the doubt.
    A saying in Imago is, "You can be right, or in a relationship...You choose" So, nobody needs to be made "wrong"...and they can each hear and be heard IF they get some support. I doubt they can achieve that on their own. I'm at a disadvantage since I don't watch the show!

    Unfortunately so-called "good television" ISN'T what is best for Jon and Kate. I know of someone who tested for a reality show and what the producers were looking for was a maximum of drama, crisis and chaos which, of course, is more available in dysfunction, dis-harmony, and all of the things we couples therapists are striving to help our couples diminish!

    Sadly, I fear the producers are going to all they can to fuel the least healthy end to this relationship, if that is , indeed, where it's heading.



    • #3
      Being right or being in a relationship

      Interesting choice you give. So you're saying that if couples choose a relationship they cannot be 'right?'


      • #4
        The choice in a relatiolnship involving two people, is: to be invested in proving oneself as the one who is correct, in control and has the answers; OR to make space for TWO people which OFTEN (not always) involes two opinions, and always two perspectives. "You and I are one!...and I"M the ONE" says, you must agree with my perspective (and it is the right way), rather than I can see your viewpoint even though it is different from mine and we can agree to disagree and still care, still connect, still respect.