Don't Reveal Your Sexual Past Or Your Income!


Don't Reveal Your Sexual Past Or Your Income!

This double standard forces women with sexual experience under cover. A woman is reduced to discussing in hushed tones with other women her favored and memorable liasons. Men want to believe they've discovered uncharted territory when they become intimate with women. They go limp at the thought that a woman has had bigger, better, more lovers, or has more sexual expertise than he does. Discuss: Do you discuss previous sex partners or "your number" with your dates?

If you really want to see a man go limp, tell him that you are in a higher income bracket than he is. More often than not, he'll resent you for it, which will be demonstrated in one of three ways: (1) his competitive nature will kick in and he won't rest until he improves his position and makes as much or more than you do; (2) he will grow sullen and uncommunicative and say snappy snarly things which communicate that you aren't the big cheese you think you are just because you make more money than he; or (3) his Pimp Daddy attitude will come out and he'll think he deserves to share your money and keep his—since you so much more and all. 


And though the situation has improved considerably with YOUNGER guys, for women 40 and above the "who makes more money" issue has yet to be resolved. If it's glaringly obvious that you're more educated and in a higher income bracket, don't bring the subject of money up unless you're ready to break it off. Remember, men have been socialized to associate masculinity and success as a man with the number of a man's toys and his income. What heterosexual man wants to date a woman who is more financially "manly" than he is? Read: Do Successful Women Intimidate Men?

So ladies, don't be suckered into telling your man about your sex life or your paycheck. You don't have to lie about either issue, and you shouldn't. Just do him a favor and tell him that your past and your finances are something you prefer to maintain as personal, and that you would appreciate him respecting your privacy as you do his. Establishing the fact that you are STD and AIDS free is the only requirement that should be met—by both parties. If you plan to begin a monogamous sexual relationship, being tested and comparing results is fair and equitable. 

Aside from that, all women should promptly tell any man asks "the number" that's it's none of his business. How many lovers a woman has had is no one's business but hers. Anyway, the new guy should be thankful, because he is the beneficiary of your sexual expertise!

Financial matters (income, investments, 401Ks and debts) need only be revealed should you two successfully advance your dating relationship to marriage, or if you should decide to invest in real property or a business venture together. 

And finally, whether you make more money than he does or not, it is only fair that you offer to split or foot the entire entertainment bill every once in a while.  Your guy should not have to ask you to do be a participant in your joint entertainment, nor expected to bear the financial burden of dating all by himself.