October 23, 2012 by


CharbroiledEwok here, taking a break from stomping turtles and popping mushrooms to write my semi-monthly blog (I wonder why the zoo revoked my visitor pass...?).

Mario's Victims

BWA-HA-HAAA! Die, you fuckers! *ahem* Excuse me...

I know New Super Mario Bros. 2 was released in the US way back on August 19th, but I deliberately held off on my final verdict until we saw the October 4th arrival of the promised DLC.  Now that I've had a chance to try out the "semi-complete" package (as more Coin Rush packs are on the way), I feel I can give a more honest review.

So...sit back, relax, and try to pretend my opinion is interesting!  ;)

What's Old is New Again

As you may have heard, New Super Mario Bros. 2 (or NSMB2, as the cool kids say), doesn't really break any new ground.  In fact, the level design and style are nearly identical to its predecessors, New Super Mario Bros. and New Super Mario Bros. Wii.

You'll be hoppin' and boppin' through side-scrolling levels, collecting Star Coins (or "Moon Coins" in the hidden Star World) and trying to sodomize Mario on a flagpole.  When you're done, you'll even have the option of (surprise!) playing as the super-secret character Luigi - didn't see that coming, did ya?

A lot of people have rejected this newest release in the NSMB series because these all sound like drawbacks.  I, of course, would argue that the basic gameplay of side-scrolling Mario titles is actually the DRAW, thanks to the tight controls, clever level design, and pure, simple fun.

Still, Nintendo tries to shake things up a bit, with a renewed focus on coin-collecting...

Thar's Gold in Them Thar Hills!

It seems the Internetz is split over how fun this aspect of NSMB2 really is: some people say the ultimate goal of collecting one million coins creates replay value, while others complain that it doesn't offer enough incentive to keep coming back.

Myself, I would LIKE to reach that lofty target, but even I - a Nintendo Geek, if there ever was one - must admit it's unlikely to happen in the near future.  The DLC helps, of course (esp., the Gold Rush Pack), but I find myself drifting off to play other titles that can still sustain my interest.

As much as I enjoy Mario platformers, NSMB2 has fallen into my "obligatory" rotation of games (i.e., titles like Theatrythm: Final Fantasy, Mario Tennis Open, and Mario Kart 7 - great games, to be sure, but games I now only play for high scores or to unlock remaining content).

Which brings me to the crux of the matter: NSMB2 is a decent game, but there are sooo many missed opportunities that keep it from being a GREAT game...

What COULD Have Been

Let's start with the premise of NSMB2: Mario and Luigi (clearly high on methamphetamines) leave Princess Peach alone in her castle to collect gold coins they THINK they see floating in the sky...what's the worse that can happen?

NSMB2 Intro

"Bye! Don't worry - you'll be fine, I'm sure!"

OK, so Mario games have always been a little light on storytelling - no surprise there.  But in the past, there was at least SOME attempt to have a coherent explanation for the game and its gimmicks (e.g., collecting stars in the paintings of Super Mario 64, recovering the stolen magic wands in Super Mario Bros. 3, or reclaiming Mario's castle in Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins).

Nintendo claims to build a game around (usually) one or two driving attributes (controls, art style, etc.), with other elements (like story) relegated to secondary considerations.  This seems counter-intuitive to most gamers and developers, but so far, it's worked (even with Nintendo's fantasy series, The Legend of Zelda).

But in NSMB2, there's no attempt to explain WHY we're shooting for a million coins (or ANY amount of coins, for that matter).  I guess we're just supposed to assume Mario and Luigi had to pay off a gambling debt...?  After all, Bowser and the Koopalings made no ransom demands, so we're kinda left in the dark.

Oh, if only there were established characters that could have easily tied this gimmick in with the gameplay, while inspiring fresh ideas in the NSMB series...


Hey! What about those guys?

That's right: Wario and Walugi, Nintendo's ambassadors of greed, could have made sense of the story (such that it is), while inviting all sorts of interesting designs from the developers.

In fact, the power-ups, overworld maps, and level designs could have remained the same, but with mid-world bosses replaced by the dastardly duo's own unique minions.  Of course, at the end of each world, players would encounter either of the Faux Bros., who would employ new means (mechanical or magical) to thwart Mario in his quest.

Of course, that alone, may not be enough to keep players around, long term...

No Good Deed Goes Unrewarded

In 2009, Nintendo released an underappreciated casual game called Personal Trainer: Walking for the Nintendo DS.  Generally panned by gaming review sites, it's now clear this title laid the groundwork for features on the Nintendo 3DS and the upcoming Wii U sequel to Wii Fit.

With it, gamers could wear a pedometer (or "Activity Meter"), which tracked their walking habits over the course of several days.  The users could then upload this data to the game, which would allow them to compare records (online and off), play extremely simple mini-games (more on this in a moment), and track their activity down to the very minute.

PKMN Pedometer

Not unlike the "PokéWalker" from Pokémon HG/SS...

I, personally, don't own this title, but I bought it for my parents, who loved comparing stats and participating in the (admittedly shallow) mini-games.  'Walk the World', which uses real-world steps to slowly "draw" various pictures, and 'Space Walk', which combines every user's step count from around the world to calculate the distances needed to walk to celestial bodies, were two of their favorite modes.

You've probably guessed where I'm going with this, but let me flesh it out a little more, for the less intuitive among us.  When our global coin count surpassed 50 billion, NSMB2 owners were sent a SpotPass notice which also re-opened every Mushroom House you'd previously visited.

Not a bad idea, Nintendo, but why stop there?  Like Personal Trainer: Walking, you could have used individual and global accomplishments to reward players, encouraging each of us to strive for that one million mark.

In the unfortunately named Super Mario Advance 4: Super Mario Bros. 3 for the GBA, players could purchase/scan compatible eCards, which added new content to the existing software (including my favorite, the vegetables from Super Mario Bros. 2).  Why can't this be a reward for reaching 75 billion coins worldwide?  Or, upon reaching 500,000 coins in your own game, a special item (such as the Frog Suit from Super Mario Bros. 3) becomes available?

For that matter, why did we have to wait for a specific Coin Rush Pack to begin comparing our records online (much less from a web browser)?  Leaderboard functionality should have been available from the outset (and from within the game, as Sonic Generations does).


Ordinarily, I don't review a game by comparing it against what it "should have been" - and I have no intention of breaking that policy now.  True, this blog is mostly a bitch-fest about all the missed opportunities that NSMB2 represents, but the game itself is solid, platforming fun - even the slightly-overpriced DLC.  But then, you already knew that - Mario games are always topshelf products.

Still, now that I've finished the main game (and tried my hand at the new Coin Rush Packs), I FEEL as conflicted as this review sounds: NSMB2 was good...while it lasted.  But the game's biggest "hook" (coin-collecting) is ultimately disappointing, because it feels like a chore to slog through old levels again and again, just to inch closer to that million coin milestone.  I honestly don't understand why they chose to just release a handful of StreetPass challenges, instead of entirely new WORLDS, for a slightly higher price...

Still, you can bet I'll purchase every subsequent Coin Rush Pack (including the ones due at the end of this month), if only to extend the life of the game a little.  Yes, I AM Mario's bitch...

CharbroiledEwok's MyIGN Rating: 8.0

CharbroiledEwok's eShop Rating: 4 Stars

NSMB2 Title Pic

Oh, and if you enjoyed this review, please check out my take on Sonic Generations, one of the most underrated games of the Nintendo 3DS library: http://www.ign.com/blogs/charbroiledewok/2012/03/12/an-ewokian-review-sonic-generations-3d:)


Submit Blog
blog comments powered by Disqus