I think I have a mental disorder its hard to explain but it has pretty much affected me in different ways and aspects all through my life. I was on a mild form of anti - depressants and recently come to the end of the packet and didnt have time to go to the docs for another prescription so they are completely out of my system now, I didnt think there was a change in my attitude until now. I have recently starting seeing someone in the last month, and i am already forcing it downhill. I cant seem to stop myself the way i think, act or feel. Im unbelievably negative about everything in life, I have no get up & go. I have really bad mood swings over the slightest of things. I got hurt badly in the past and now i seem to be taking it out on this guy without meaning too. I have been with other people since i have been hurt and i have fallen for them hard but I was never like this, and for some reason now i have gotten closer and more serious with someone, i seem to be purposely destroying it - what is the matter with me?I dont trust this poor guy in the slightest, i accuse him, get upset at the slightest girl commenting on his facebook, i get extreamley angry when i cant get my own way i go moody with him im unfair to him i argue with him i cause arguments with him.... but in my heart of hearts at the time i feel as though he has done something wrong or i convince myself he is cheating, I obsessively check up on him and then get upset at anything i see. this guy is a really really decent guy hes never done anything to make me not trust him, he treats me better than any other guy i have met. Why am i doing this to myself and how do i stop it? i worry compulsively and i dont seem to be able to let myself be happy. i know what i need to do but as soon as im in the situation it goes out the window and i attack him over something stupid again. i know hes going to get fed up soon and just walk away and i dont no why im ruining something ive wanted for so long. but i cant stop myself i cant see how and its getting me into a really down and depressed state but new relationships are ment to be happy, and i no im a good girlfriend and friend if i just stopped all this nonsense. please help me i really dont want to go through my life like this im only 21 and the rate i am going i will end up alone :(
Degree understand your concerns went through your details. I suggest you not to worry much. I sincerely suggest that you are victim of your own negative thinking. You cannot term your current state of mind as clinical depression. Rather, this is just disappointment. Disappointment which arises out of unforeseen life events do bring such symptoms like sadness, irritation, anger, lethargy, lack of interest, lack of appetite etc. Please understand this fact and make sure to introspect. Talking to your friends, outdoor activities and being creative should give you relief. Find the reason for your disappointment and consult a psychologist if need be. Psychotherapy techniques should suit your requirement. If you require more of my help in this aspect, Please post a direct question to me in this URL. http://goo.gl/aYW2pR. Make sure that you include every minute details possible. I shall prescribe the needed psychotherapy techniques. Hope this answers your query. Available for further clarifications. Good luck.