I lost my significant other 3 years ago and can t seem to get through grieving. We were having quiet time together and then he went to sleep on the sofa and I went to bed. The next morning I found him dead. I keep reliving this over and over again. I feel I might have missed something or he tried to get to me but was unable to. I cant get this picture out of my head and I can t see me loving someone else. I dont know how to move on. I feel my life has been turned upside down since then. I have family I am around yet I feel so alone. I feel like I don t belong anywhere. I am not suicidal; I cannot do that to my 3 children and grandchildren. Yet life is hard for me. I am also unemployed and having a hard time finding a job. I am experiencing things I have never dealt with and am having a hard time. What can I do? I am already taking antidepressants, which are not working. I have talked to my physician and she is trying to get it changed. But due to this new Obamacare, my old medication is not on the list and the new one is not working.
Degree understand your concerns went through your details. I suggest you not to worry much. I sincerely suggest that you are doing great. You went through a traumatic and depressive ordeal. For sure. No amount of consolation can equal your fate.  But you also should understand that such things happen with almost everyone. Everyone loves their better half or spouse. When such things happen, even when they were at young age, it is normal for them to go through some depression. But they shall understand that they have to move on. They have duty to do. Secondly, you were doing the same for the last three years. That is great. If you have any mental disorders, you cannot do so. You must add to your self-confidence. What you can do now is, understand what life is. Even you are a guest here. Your spouse went because his time had come. When your time comes, you shall also join him. That is life. Depression is normal, but we should overcome our emotions. Everybody, every human being does. Then why not you? If you require more of my help in this aspect, Please post a direct question to me in this website. Make sure that you include every minute details possible. I shall prescribe some psychotherapy techniques which should help you cure your condition further. Hope this answers your query. Available for further clarifications. Good luck.