I posted this before but it still makes me laugh.
Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.
Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water. Expensive clubs have been known to be partly made with this most unusual natural alloy.
Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.
The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.
A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent -- or some similar combination.
All 3-woods are demon-possessed. Your Mother in Law does not come close.
Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water. See LAW 3.
The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.
Golf should be given up at least twice per month.
All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset.
Since bad shots come in groups of three, your fourth consecutive bad shot is really the beginning of the next group of three.
If it isn't broke, try changing your grip.
It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 8.
It's not a gimme if you're still 4 feet away.
Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make a double or triple bogey to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to use it to lay up just short of a water hazard.
25. Tossing grass into the air only proves your a ****.
Mrs. Pelz's Mother is the exception that proves rule 7.
You lost me at %&$*!-ier.
I guess the new forum budget was spent on bright white and not a profanity censor.
you're correct.. hahaha. I think throwing grass kinda defeats the point.
This should be carved in stone on the first tee.
Funny stuff! So true on 22!
The easiest way to guarantee a bogie is to have a par opportunity.