Though it was late, I measured out a cup of laundry detergent and shoved the clothes robotically into our front loader. My mind was traveling through Africa, Washington, California, England, and other parts of the globe, smothering heaven with prayer requests.
Lord, I am so burdened for _________. I can’t even imagine the suffering and physical torment she described in her e-mail. And then there’s ________. I don’t know how she lives with migraines every single day; lying in the stillness and silence of her dark room, indescribable pressing that keeps her from friends and family. You’ve also heard and held the tears of ______ while they are struggling with relentless hip pain.
And then, it was as though the Holy Spirit interrupted my pathway of intercession and repositioned my gaze on a friend’s face that’s been in heaven for seven years now. Mary Barrett was a very special friend in my life. She was not only a gifted singer and musician, but she was entrusted by the Lord with a special anointing that enabled people to easily enter into worship and feel as though they were near heaven itself. There was a holiness and peace and joy that would fill the air and humble a heart before God.
I remember times at an annual conference we would attend, that a group of people would be sitting in a circle around her, all with their own guitars, eager to learn whatever she would show them. But what was so attractive to others, was not something that could be learned or imitated. It was the invisible, touchable work of the Holy Spirit through her. After one conference in particular, I nicknamed her “Myrrh-ee”. I had read in quite a few places that though myrrh had its own fragrance, it was best used as an enhancer, so it’s often combined to bring out the full aroma of another. Her friendship and gift of music was like that to me; though she definitely had her own unique flavor and aroma, when she sang or spoke about Jesus, His aroma was all that you were aware of.
Why was I reminded of her Lord?
Mary and Mom. Singing in heaven together now.
Then I thought of her final days here on earth. Mary was dying a very painful death from cancer. Some nights, the pain kept her awake, while others, were from the steroids to help her breathe. When she’d call on the phone, it was hard to hear her voice. She’d labor in her breathing, and sometimes only have strength to whisper. There were no more belly laugh’s. No more conversations with her while she drove her convertible Miata to pick up her little dog Charlie at her moms. But…”Myrrh-ee” could do nothing but enhance the Lord Jesus. And then I understood why her face interrupted my prayers.
The last time she sang this song at our pastor’s wives retreat, she whipped off her chemotherapy wig at the end and we all clapped endlessly. Yes, for her, yet ultimately, for King Jesus. The absolute Victor over all things hell could ever send our way.
Here’s a link (that can lead to others) of her recording just a few weeks before her passing.
‘thank you for sharing this as it opened my heart to what a friend is dealing with in her war against cancer.
I’m so sorry Arturo. What a friend she has in you that you consider her and know how better to pray. May she know Jesus draws so close to the broken who call on Him and catches every tear when they cry.
Thank you for sharing Shannon. A helpful redirection for me in physical trials as well. His crushing comes only to release His fragrance; may I always remember, and look for it.
Shannon I shared this a year ago and Facebook reminded of it this morning. I’m reminded of the ladies’ conferences at Grand Island and how sweet Mary always played that song before we all went our separate ways. Such encouragement! As I deal with some physical issues, feeling old too soon, and often being fearful of the future this brings me into focus. Reminding me of Who is ordering my steps, even the painful ones.
Thank you so much for sharing Berni. Pain always seems to come too soon, last too long, and take too much. But in Him, He redeems all things…even our suffering. Love your reflection and thankful it encouraged you.