We blatherumskites rarely get to rattle on about Irish ABCs (Alien Big Cats… not saucer-of-milk endowed extraterrestrials, but rather reports of large felines running loose in the Irish countryside), at least not to the extent that the phenomenon is said to take place in England, Scotland or Wales. Back in July 1997 *BBC Wildlife* magazine came under attack from Blather for its hyperbolic claims concerning the *Beasts of Dublin — Craze for macho pets lets loose wild animals on the streets* (See *The SAS, Aliens and Big Cats*), which claimed that one had to be careful navigating one’s way about the nation’s capital due to the proliferation of crazed syringe-waving lynx-owners.
Let it be known, apart from the odd procurement of maltreated caged pets by the Irish Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, the eagle-eared spies of Blather Inc. are so far blissfully inexperienced in the fine art of Urban Big Cat Avoidance.
However, this is not to say that we are totally bereft of *rural* reports. Tony ‘Doc’ Shiels reported claims of a lynx in Co. Cork in Fortean Times 34:20, and FT101:24 showed a picture of an African caracal lynx shot by the Royal Ulster Constabulary (RUC) in Fintona, Co. Tyrone on February 17th 1997. Other sightings are listed below. And while more ungulate than feline, that damned Wexford antelope is worth a mention.
On January 4th, 1999, the Belfast Telegraph (Or *The Belly Telly* as we have heard it referred to) told us that the ‘big cat is a dog’, and that according to the RUC, sightings of a ‘large puma-like cat in Tyrone over the weekend are probably shaggy dog stories’.
Apparently ‘the 5ft long, 3ft wide green eyed “feline” seen prowling fields and outhouses in the county is most likely a large St. Bernard dog reported missing from its home in Beragh’. The dog had strayed several days before the RUC announcement, but had only been reported as missing on January 3rd. Blather’s resident expert in canine optometry is currently enjoying his sabbatical in a Tipperary drying-out kennel, and we have no wish to disturb him, but we do wonder about green-eyed St. Bernards (and the small matter of witness testimony – they got close enough to determine eye colour, but not even a vague taxonomy?).
“As he wasn’t wearing the customary keg of brandy round his neck we can understand how there may have been mistaken identity”.
The hoors. Plans are now underway to rear St. Bernard-eating servals on Blather set-aside farmland. An application for grant aid from the European Community has been submitted.
Last week, Blather gave way to a footnote, ‘explaining’ the origin of the word *kibosh* by quoting from *Slanguage – a Dictionary of Slang and Colloquial English in Ireland*; ‘…derivative disputed but possibly from Irish *caipÃ­n bÃ¡is*, cap of death, or pitch cap, as employed by British forces against 1798 insurgents; verbal usage other origin and not general Hiberno-English’. Without seeking to turn Blather into a vessel of linguistic lessons, we take the liberty of expanding and expounding on this matter.
A Bob Richardson was in touch to inform us of an article called *Putting the Kibosh On It – An unEnglish expression?*, which expands on the Hebrew explanations, and adds that Webster’s New World Dictionary ‘apparently derives it from Middle High German kiebe, meaning “carrion”‘.