It's a sad day in history. It seems that the Bungie Webmaster has died and been replaced by PR people. Just read the most recent Letters to the Webmaster at Bungie.com.
Saddened by this turn of events, I wrote the following letter to try and rouse the spirit of our old friend (by "our," I mean people who have been Mac geeks for a long time).
By all outward appearances, you've been replaced by an impostor. The January 2006 Letters to the Webmaster on bungie.com lacked the eccentric, venom-filled, obscure-literatary-referencing punch that the replies in all previous installments of your letters section. The Gorilla references were forced, and everything you said seemed to be concentrated through the highly polished lens of a PR department. I'm old enough and have been following Bungie for long enough to have read every Letters to the Webmaster post in the history of Bungie. I've had long conversations with the Disembodied Soul. I'm pleased to say I hold the distinction of getting not one, but two pleasant and on-topic replied from you over the years. I guess I'm old-school.
Where are the references to chainsaws and iambic pentameter? Where's the seething, just below the surface rage? Where's the sharp-wit that insults moronic questions in a way the moron can not comprehend? Where is the display of bitter irony about your station at Bungie and life as well?
It's a sad day indeed. I can only assume that Frank, or another Bungie newbie has taken up the mantel and assumed your identity. I men nothing against Frank, I was an avid reader of OXM while he was on staff there. Likewise, Bungie has produced works every bit as wonderful as my beloved Marathon trilogy with the new-kids on board so I have no qualms with them either. They just can't compare to you when answering letters from clueless teenagers.
You will be missed, O Muse.
Now, If I am mistaken and your most recent ramblings are weak due to a particularly intense bender, simply reestablish proof of your identity by eviscerating me with the power and pixel-searing prose of old. If it helps, I have scattered errors in grammar and punctuation throughout this letter.