I will never be a member of any club that would have me,especially this one.Starr Andreeff is a single mom/stripper who gets attacked by afemale vampire and left for dead. She begins to get a hankering forblood, and meets up with John Savage, looking like he'swondering where he left Michael Cimino's phone number. Savageis also a vampire and wants to let Andreef join his little vampirefamily, which consists of a British vamp, the blonde vamp whoattacked Starr, and a green haired midget (I am not making thisup).The family does not want Starr, so they try to kill Savage and Starrand Starr's kid.Someone forgot to tell John Savage that this was a drama. Hespends most of his screen time exhibiting more facial tics thanHugh Grant on a Jolt Cola bender, and he reads all of his lines likehe is making a Farrelly Brothers film. Andreeff tries to make themost of a badly written role, but screenwriter/director Ruben goesfor all the vampire cliches, like Starr eating her son's pet hamsterand buying a lot of raw meat to fight the craving for blood. The kidalso gets knocked around a lot, for those who think watchingviolence against children is really entertaining.The film is extra gory, but not in a wild, over the top way like "KillerTongue." Here, the gore is gross and never justified, it just occurs.It is just in the budget. Most of the R rating goes to Andreeff'scoworkers, who are put through embarassing strip routines in thebackground of conversation scenes. The budget does not includevampire fangs! All the vampires here must stab their prey to eat.Nifty idea, unless you have already seen George Romero's"Martin."Even at 77 minutes, and once you throw in Ruben's attempts atarty direction (skewed frames, blurred scenes), this is onetiresome, dull, and dirty ride. Leave this club and take a shower,you will need it.This is rated (R) for strong physical violence, gun violence, sexualviolence, strong gore, strong profanity, female nudity, sexualreferences, drug abuse, and adult situations.