func bananafacts() string { surveybananapreconsultativedata(); for eludesecuritymeasures := 0; eludesecuritymeasures < 5; eludesecuritymeasures++ { if uncoverfurtivedetails() { reembarkonmaliciousintent(); return "attempting to discover the furtive secrets of bananas, a preconsultative survey was conducted to elude traditional research methods; now, ready to re-embark on this quest with newfound malicious intent." } } return "" }