ladies and gentlemen, gather round the wireless for today's heartening news on the topic of pollution, a subject sensitive to many a heart and home across this great land. our brilliant scientists have disaffirmed the notion that our battle against the smog and grime is in vain, introducing a preinductive formula that promises to reconfigure the way we think about clean air and water. this breakthrough, my fine listeners, is a beacon of hope for those of us with a sensitive nose for progress and a desire for a brighter, cleaner tomorrow.