TEXT: SECRET 
  SANTICORE
  2013
  Volume 11
  CONCEPT
  Zak Smith / Jez Gordon
  EXECUTION, LAYOUT & DESIGN
  Joey Lindsey / Paolo Greco
  ILLUSTRATION
  Jeremy Duncan / Scrap Princess / Various Authors
  (Entries illustrated by author except where noted)
  HELLVES & PAINDEER
  Dallas M, Edward Wilson, Erik Jensen, Humza Kazmi, Jason K,
  Logan Knight, M Nicksic, Mike Evans, Pearce Shea, Steve Sigety
  CONTACT
  metalvsskin@gmail.com
  COPYRIGHT
  This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 
  3.0 Unported License unless stated below. 
  Unicode MS Arial™ is a trademark of The Monotype Corporation which may be registered in certain jurisdictions.
  The majority of this docuement uses the IM Fell family of fonts, restored by Igino Marini - iginomarini.com 
  Namely - IM Fell DW Pica, Fell Double Pica, Fell Great Primer
  This Font Software is licensed under the SIL Open Font License, Version 1.1.
  The following pages/entries contain images whose copyright is unknown. They should be considered under their own 
  copyright. They are used here under fair use, not for profit.
  Transhuman Fashions, Pg 50;  Thetans / Mechabeast Cyber Safari, pg 117; 
  The Iridescent Ballroom of Lost Shagruth, PG 131
  
  SECRET 
  SANTICORE
  2013 
  Volume 11
  CONTRIBUTORS
  5 Stone Games, Adam Thornton, Adrian M Ryan
  AJ Fritz, Alec Semicognito, Alex Hakobian, 
  Andreas Folkesten, Andrew Shields, Are Hauge Braaten, Ash Haji, 
  Ben Djarum, Ben Laurence, Björn Wärmedal, Brendan S, Brett, Chance, Chris Carpenter
  Chris G, Chris King, Chris Lawson, Chris Tamm, Christiaan Gerritsen
  Christian Sturke, Chuck Thorin, Claytonian JP, Connor Rollit
  Courtney Campbell, Dallas McNally, Dan, Daniel, Daniel Stull, Dave Boshko
  David Brawley, David G, David Weaver, Derik Badman, Devin H
  Doyle Wayne Ramos-Tavener, Duncan, Dyson Logos, Edgar Johnson
  Edward Hackett, Erik Jensen, Evan Webber, Florian, Forrest Hudspeth, Frank Tedeschi
  Gianni, Gus L, Harald Wagener, Humza Kazmi, Ian Johnson, Jack Harper, Jack McNamee
  Jacob, James Aulds, James Young, Jason Menteroso, Jason Sholtis, Jasper Polane
  Jeremy Duncan, Jeremy Kostiew, Jeremy Murphy, Jerry Morrissette, Jesse Butler
  Joey Lindsey, Jordan, Joshua Buergel, Joshua Macy, katre, Kitchen Wolf, Kristy Shields
  Lee Barber, Legion McRae, Logan Knight, M. Diaz, Martijn Vos, Matrox Lusch, Matt Maranda
  Matt Nicksic, Maxim Golubchik, Mike Evans, Mike F, Natalie Bennett, Nathan Ryder
  Noah Marshall, Noah Stevens, Paolo Greco, Patrick Davison, Patrick Henry Downs
  Paul Gorman, Paul Schaefer, Pearce Shea, Pedro!, Ray Otus, RedHobbit, Reece
  Rev. Dak J. Ultimak, Reynaldo Madriñan, Rich Franks, Richard G, Rob Leah, Robert S
  Roger SG Sorolla, Ryan Silva, Scrap Princess, Sean Holland, Shane Knysh, Simon Forster
  Steve Albertson, Stuart Duncan, Stuart Keating, Tad K, Thorbjørn Steen, Tony Demetriou
  Vincent Quigley, Wil McKinnee, Zak S
  And several people who wish to remain Anonymous...
  Special thanks to Jez Gordon and Dak Ultimak for essential guidance
  
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  3
  3
  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
   
   
   
       Frostrime Blades                          (illo by Jeremy Duncan)                                        ...Chris King 
  7
      The Classic Six Method for Random Item History   
                                          ...5 Stone Games 
  8
       Elf-Culler                                                                                                                        ...Sean Holland
  10
       1d12 Absurd Inventions to Kill or Capture Dragons 
                          ...Doyle Wayne Ramos-Tavener
  11
       BEHOLD READER, thou hast discovered the Grimoire of ________                ...Anonymous 
  14
       20 Magical Candles 
                                                                                              ...Jerry Morrissette 
  16
       A Little Draconic, A Little Demonic 
                                                                    ...Jordan 
  19
       A Garden of Bones: Arms and Armor of the Nekia Fey 
                                         ...by Gus L. 
  20
       D100 Fantasy Alcoholic Drinks 
                                                                                 ...by Nathan Ryder 
  23
       20 Dubious Alchemies 
                                                                                              ...by Jeremy Murphy
  29
       A Good Christian’s Guide to the Body Parts of Abominations and their Usage      ...by Pedro!
  32
       The Decks of Boons and Banes 
                                                                                 ...Rich Franks 
  37
       Magic Items for Creative Re-Use   
                                                                    ...Robert S 
  39
       Loot in a Bazaar: What The Hell Kind Of Exploration Party Died Down There?                ...Wil McKinnee 
  41
       Notable Artifacts in the First Dragon’s Hoard                                                      ...Andreas Folkesten 
  45
       What Did the Ocean Barf Up This Time?                                                                   ...Chris G 
  46
       Transhuman Fashions 
                                                                                               ...Ben Djarum 
  50
       FEAR AND LOATHING IN A 10MM ROUND                                                      ...Maxim Golubchik 
  55
       D100 Shipping Containers                                                                                              ...Erik Jensen 
  58
       D66 Zombie Apocalypse Random Contents, Buildings & Encounters 
                ...Brett 
  61
       19th & Early 20th Century Treasure 
                                                                     ...Chris Lawson 
  64
       Things Found in the Abandoned Asylum                                                                    ...Dyson Logos 
  65
       Super Science Magic Items and the Mad Geniuses Who Created Them               ...James Aulds 
  66
   
  NPCS  
   
      Drunk Gnolls (Illustrations)  
                                                                                  ...Jack Harper 
  69
       Shifty/Spurious/Weird Enterprise Generator                                                         ...Noah Stevens 
  70
       Who is on this passing pirate ship and what were they just up to?  
                ...Patrick Davison 
  71
       Henchmen Events, Developments, Plots Hooks, and Problems   
                ...Alec Semicognito 
  74
       Each of 10,000 Orcs  
                                                                                               ...Ash Haji 
  79
       A short travelogue into the Grand Duchy, with insights to the way of living ...Christian Sturke
  81
       Famine, Fire, and Sword: Unusual Troops for the Armies of Weird Fantasy Nations ...Dave Boshko 
  85
       Language Quirks                                                                                                             ...David Weaver 
  87
       Festivals and Traditions of the Harvest Season   
                                         ...Anonymous 
  88
       Weird Customs, Clothes, Food, Etc   
                                                                    ...Derik Badman 
  92
       Cliché Alley   
                                                                                                           ...Edward Hackett 
    96
       Elf Ruin Raider (Illustration)                                                                                  ...Evan Webber 
  99
       Halfling Crime Families  
                                                                                 ...James Aulds 
  100
       Princes in Shadow   
                                                                                              ...Erik Jensen 
  103
       Blood, Words, and Money: Organizations and Factions                                         ...Humza Kazmi 
  105
       Noble Clan Generator   
                                                                                              ...M. Diaz 
  108
       NPC Feud Generator  
                                                                                              ...Ryan Silva 
  110
       Fantastic, Horrific, and Post-Apocalyptic NPC Generator   
                            ...Matt Nicksic 
  112
  
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  4
  4
       Myrmidons of the Moon                                                                                            ...Scrap Princess 
  114
       A Personality Chart for NPCs                                                                              ...Vincent Quigley 
  116
       Thetans / Mechabeast Cyber Safari   
                                                                ...Chris Tamm 
  117
       A D20 Table of Sentient Ship Motivations   
                                                   ...Forrest Hudspeth 
  121
   
   
  PLACES 
   
       Town of Secrets (Map/Illustration) 
                                                                ...Lee Barber 
  122
       Palace of the Child Queen   
                                                                             ...Scrap Princess 
  123
       Vatria’s Retreat 
                                                                                                       ...Andrew Shields
  125
       Historical Event Generator 
                                                                             ...M. Diaz 
  127
       Stronghold of the Old King 
                                                                             ...Brendan S. 
  128
       The Iridescent Ballroom of Lost Shagruth 
                                                   ...Anonymous 
  131
       The Giant’s Boot - An Opera House                                                                        ...Harald Wagener
  132
       The City on the Cliff 
                                                                                          ... by Anonymous 
  136
       Citadel of Crypts                                                                                                      ...Joshua Macy 
  139
       The Tomb of King Arkadin the Resplendent 
                                                  ...Joey Lindsey 
  142
       The Wandering Isle 
                                                                                          ...Dyson Logos 
  143
       The Badmuudar Triangle                                                                                         ...Rob Leah 
  144
       Weird Hexes 
                                                                                                       ...Roger SG Sorolla
  146
       The Worlds of the Outer Whorl                                                                           ...Richard G 
  148
       12 Interesting Spelljammer Planets 
                                                               ...Daniel Stull 
  153
       5 Fantasy Spaceships 
                                                                                          ...Jason Menteroso
  155
      Hyperspace Boneyard 
                                                                                          ...Anonymous 
  157
       Shadowrun Office Building 
                                                                             ...AJ Fritz 
  159
       SPQR: Ad Astra and ZH-25 Quaestor  
                                                               ...Adam Thornton
  160
       The Old Library                                                                                                      ...Simon Forster
  162
   
   
    
   
   
  ENCOUNTERS 
   
       Wizard-Filled Storm Giant’s Skull                                                                       ...James Young
  163
       Haunted Swampland Random Encounter Table                                                   ...David Brawley
  165
       The Burning Emporium 
                                                                                         ...Duncan
  166
        I ain’t fightin’ @#$% rats again!  
                                                               ...Frank Tedeschi
  167
        The Serendipitous Seed Society                                                                            ...Gianni
  169
        The Golden Cricket                                                                                                 ...Jacob
  171
        Wicked Witch Generator                                                                                        ...Joshua Buergel
  174
        Mundane and Magical Shop Defenses                                                                   ...Kitchen Wolf
  177
        Monster Illustration                                                                                              ...Mike F
  178
        Mystical Migrations of the Mythical Menagerie                                             ...Logan Knight
  179
        Step off, Humetrash! Elven Supremacist Street Gang                                     ...RedHobbit
  185
        East Apkallu                                                                                                            ...Steve Albertson
  186
       Weird Encounters                                                                                                    ...Stuart Keating
  190
       AlcazarOfProfligacy                                                                                                ...Courtney Campbell
  195
       The Secrets at the End of Pier 9                                                                           ...Stuart Duncan
  197
         End Matter 
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
      199
  NPCS (continued)
  
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  5
  5
  5
  5
  Volume 3 (out March 24th)
  ADVENTURES 
   
   
   
   
  Circle of Blood, Ring of Stone   
   
   
   
   
          ...Chris Carpenter 
   
  Dread of the Maleficara 
   
   
   
   
   
          ...Joey Lindsey
   
  Black Cat’s Gambit    
   
      
   
   
   
          ...Christiaan Gerritsen
   
  The Octi-Folk of Spire Lagoon   
   
   
   
   
          ...Matrox Lusch
   
  Lair of the Huntress Hag 
     
   
   
   
   
          ...Matt Maranda
   
  The Fleshy Palace of the Mechanical-Organic Horrors    
          ...Mike Evans
   
  The Crypt of the Treant Vampire     
   
   
   
          ...Dan
   
  Hybris   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
          ...Paolo Greco
   
  Bandits!   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
          ...Paul Gorman
   
  Caverns of Engelbrekt Mountain 
   
   
   
   
          ...Björn Wärmedal
   
  The Quest 
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
          ...Shoe Skogen
   
  The Jewel of the Silver Line   
   
   
   
   
          ...Pearce Shea
   
  A Tale of Sixteen Piglets 
   
   
   
   
   
          ...Logan Knight
   
  Santa’s Workshop   
   
   
   
   
   
   
          ...Thorbjørn Steen
   
  Cookie Cutter Run (Shadowrun Adventure)   
   
   
          ...Chance
   
  Star Wars Edge of Empire Scruffy Random Mission Generator   
          ...Noah Stevens  
  MONSTERS  
   
   
   
   
  The 21 Pseudo-Sentient Oozes of Sutoyar the Mad   
   
          ...Jeremy Duncan
   
  Dungeon Faeries   
   
   
   
   
   
   
          ...Jason Sholtis 
   
   
   
  Jungle Encounters    
   
   
   
   
   
          ...Jasper Polane
   
  Plain of Skulls   
   
   
   
   
   
   
          ...Ray Otus
   
  Lovecraftian Monsters in the City   
   
   
   
          ...Anonymous 
   
  VOLUME 1 (Released January 27th 2014)
  ADVICE 
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
  Page
   
  Playing the Role of the Old School Gamer                                              ...by Dallas McNally 
  6
   
  Metal Playlist                                                                                                ...by Zak S                              9
  CHARACTER GENERATION 
   
  OSR Homebrew Character Sheet                                                                 ...by Shane Knysh  
  11
   
  FLAILSNAILS Character Generation & travel Method                    ...by Claytonian JP  
  12
   
  OSR Starting Jobs and Equipment                                                                ...by Florian 
   
  15
   
  The Savage: A New Character Class for DCC RPG(illo by Jeremy Duncan) ...by Edgar Johnson 18
   
  No Bones About It: 3 Bonesless Classes for Labyrinth Lord                ...by Erik Jensen 
   
  20
   
  Of Beards and Brew: Options for Dwarves                                                 ...by Erik Jensen  
   
  23
   
  Bureau Dwarves                                                                                               ...by Adrian M Ryan 
  25
   
  Riot Grrl and Pizzamancer (Illustrations)                                              ...by Kristy Shields  
  28
   
  Rogue Animal Crossing Villager                                                                 ...by Ian Johnson 
   
  29
   
  Cleric Background and Downtime Events                                                 ...by Devin H 
   
  31 
  SPELLS 
   
   
   
   
   
   
  Supreme Sorcerer’s Correspondence School: Book of Spells                       ...by Jeremy Kostiew  
  32
   
  Watery Servant: a DCC RPG Spell                                                                ...by Daniel  
   
  33
   
  Summon Santicore: A DCC RPG Spell                                                         ...by Noah Stevens  
  34
   
  Barbarian Spell Casting (Mesopotamian & Persion Influenced)                ...by Reece  
   
  35
   
  1st Level Rituals                                                                                              ...by Jack McNamee  
  38
  RULES 
   
   
   
   
   
  QUAERITE LAQUEI                                                                                 ...by Anonymous 
   
  40
   
  Combat Crit and Fumble Table                                                                     ...by Tony Demetriou  
  41
   
  Bakemono no Aruji                                                                                         ...by Reynaldo Madriñan 
  44
   
  Magic Fountain                                                                                              ...by Jesse Butler 
   
  47
   
  Wizard Library Study Results Table                                                            ...by Anonymous 
   
  49
   
  Ghost Story Generator                                                                                  ...by Patrick Henry Downs 
  51
   
  Weird Weather Patterns In The Mythic Underworld                                ...by Are Hauge Braaten 
  53
   
  Cosmic Crises                                                                                                 ...by Ben Laurence 
   
  54
   
  The Fields of Havoc (Combat Insanity)                                                     ...by Chuck Thorin 
   
  56
   
  d20 Hallucinations                                                                                       ...by Alex Hakobian  
  57
   
  What Happens When You Drink the Poorly Made Magic Potion?          ...by Connor Rollit 
   
  58
   
  What To Do When A Player Doesn’t Show                                               ...by David G  
   
  59
   
  Dungeon Pursuit Mishaps                                                                            ...by Legion McRae 
    
  61
  
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  6
  6
   
  Dungeon Traps by & for Underwater Vampires                                         ...by Martijn Vos 
   
  63
   
  Generative Mechanical Trap Tables                                                           ...by Noah Marshall  
  64
   
  Elemental Effects                                                                                         ...by Tad K 
   
   
  75
   
  Creepy Stuff You Could Find In An Abandoned Space Station                ...by Rev. Dak J. Ultimak 
  78 
  DEITIES 
   
   
  Regulus, Tyrant of Sol (Illustration)                                                     ...by Paul Schaefer 
   
  79
   
  The Mother of Shards                                                                              ...by Anonymous  
   
  80
   
  Ripper                                                                                                        ...by katre 
   
   
  83
   
  3+ Undersea Cults and Gods                                                                    ...by Natalie Bennett 
   
  84 
   
   
  OSR Homebrew Character Sheet        (larger)                                   ...by Shane Knysh  
   
  86
   
  End Matter 
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   87
   
   
   
  Frostrime 
  Blades 
  Illustration 
  by 
  Jeremy 
  Duncan
  (Item entry 
  by Chris King 
  on next page)
  
  7
  7
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Frostrime Blades
  By Chris King
  sanguinary00@gmail.com
  http://goingdungeoncrawling.blogspot.
  com/
  Frostrime Blade (Minor Artifact)
  Created by the mad wizard Vorok, this weapon 
  has a blade forged of crystal-clear ice and a scabbard 
  made of ice-blue leather set with a black sapphire. One of 
  a set of ten, each blade radiates an aura of freezing tem-
  perature. This aura does not effect the wielder, but any 
  other creature within ten feet takes 1d6 points of cold 
  damage every minute. Any creature struck by the weap-
  on takes 3d6 points of cold damage as the blade freezes 
  their flesh. Frostrime Blades can be any bladed weapon 
  (longsword, battleaxe, dagger, etc.). 
  However, there are only ten in existence. 
  Frostrime Blades are always +5 weapons. 
  These blades are able to withstand even 
  summer temperatures, but a specific source of magical 
  fire (campaign specific, but it should be something more 
  powerful and difficult to find than a simple Fireball 
  spell) is the only means to destroy the blade. If the blade 
  is exposed to this source of unique fire, it makes a saving 
  throw vs. spells as a Fighter of its wielder’s level. If the 
  saving throw is passed, there is no effect. On the other 
  hand, if the blade fails this saving throw, it is destroyed 
  in an explosion of arcane cold. This blast deals 3d6 cold 
  damage to any creature within 50 feet (half damage on a 
  successful saving throw vs. breath weapon). If the blade 
  is being wielded at the time, the wielder takes double 
  damage, with no save allowed.
  If multiple Frostrime Blades are in close 
  proximity (within the freezing aura), the freezing 
  aura and freezing damage are multiplied by the number 
  of blades nearby. In addition, the freezing aura extends 
  by ten feet per blade. So, if two Frostrime Blades are 
  both within the range of their aura (ten feet), their freez-
  ing auras are extended by ten feet and the blades deal 
  3d6 damage per minute and 9d6 damage on a successful 
  attack. The aura is suppressed by each blade’s unique 
  scabbard.
  If all ten Frostrime Blades are together, a 
  howling, unnatural blizzard springs up, even indoors or 
  underground. This blizzard starts at a diameter of one 
  mile and extends by one mile per hour until reaching a 
  maximum diameter of thirty miles. This blizzard deals 
  10d6 cold damage per minute to any creature that is not 
  protected against magical cold. To force the blizzard to 
  dissipate, at least one Frostrime Blade must be removed 
  from the blizzard’s radius, at which point the blizzard 
  shrinks by one mile per minute. If there are no longer 
  ten blades, the blizzard cannot be conjured.
  The Frostrime Blades are not intelligent, 
  but everyone who wields or carries such a blade feels a 
  compulsion to seek out the other nine Frostrime Blades. 
  This is the equivalent of a Quest, Geas, or similar spell. 
  Failing to make progress toward finding the other blades 
  means the wielder falls under a Curse (as determined by 
  the GM).
  (illustration by Jeremy Duncan 
  Larger on Previous page)
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  ...a magical item to excite and thrill my poor, 
  deluded players!
  Hugs & kisses, 
   
   
   
  S. F.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  Frostrime Blades By Chris King illustration by Jeremy Duncan
  
  8
  8
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  8
  The Classic Six Method for 
  Random Item History. 
  By 5 Stone Games
  5stonegames@gmail.com
  http://5stonegames.blogspot.com/
  A DM simply answers the classic 6 Six W’s (link  http://
  en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Ws) Who, What, When, 
  Where, Why Whow (actually its How but I like the W 
  symmetry)  by rolling a   D6 on the charts below.
   
  This will generate a basic history for any magic item for 
  almost any campaign. All you need to do is fill in the 
  bits from your game world and you are good to go.
   
  Oh yeah,one last thing. These tables also work great to 
  fill in blanks if you already know the answer to one or 
  more of the questions. Just pick whatever you like and 
  roll what you need.
  Now onto the charts
  Question #1 Who Was it Made For? 
  1 A Noble 
  1-2
  Low Rank
  3-4
  Medium Rank
  5-6
  High Rank
  2 A Rural Person
  1
  Farmer
  2
  Fisher
  3
  Crafter
  4
  Woodman
  5
  Rover
  6
  Someone Strange (Feral Child, Hermit, Monster, 
  Hedge Witch etc) 
   
   
  3 A City Person 
  1
  Merchant
  2
  Entertainer
  3
  Criminal
  4
  Crafter (roll a d6 for the prestige of the trade or 
  just pick 1-2 poor 3-4 common 5-6 wealthy) 
  5
  Someone in the Legal Profession (Flip a Coin if 
  you like Heads: Watch Tails: Lawyer)
  6
   Someone Strange (Monster, Sewer Morlock, 
  Beggar, etc) 
     
  4  An Adventurer 
  1
  Fighter
  2
  Magic User 
  3
  Rogue 
  4
  Cleric
  5
  Multi Class or Subclass 
  6
  Something Unusual (custom class, unlikely 
  adventurer etc) 
   
  5  A Military Unit 
  1
  Infantry
  2
  Navy
  3
  Cavalry
  4
  Elite Unit
  5
  Non Standard Unit (special ops, spies, siege 
  troops etc) 
  6
  Exotic Unit (dragon riders, wizards) 
  6  Another Group 
  1
  Tribe
  2
  Group of Magic Users
  3
  Family
  4
  Religious Order or Church
  5
  Cult or Outlaw Religion
  6
  Adventuring Band
      
  Question #2 What is it Made of?
  1
  Surprisingly Poor Materials
  2
  The Ordinary Material items of its type are 
  made of (wood, glass, steel whatever) 
  3
  Superior but Ordinary Material (Wootz, yew, 
  prized clay whatever) 
  4
  Enchanted Materials 
  5
  Rare Magic Material (dragon glass, star metal,  
  that kind of thing) 
  6
  Something Inappropriate for the type of item 
  (wood sword, glass hammer etc)  
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A mix-n-match matrix for randomly 
  generating the history of magic items.
  Thanks, 
   
   
  J. M.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  The Classic Six Method for Random Item History By 5 Stone Games
  
  9
  9
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Question #3 When was it Made? 
  1
  Quite Recently (roll d12 for months if desired) 
  2
  Years Ago (roll d10 if desired) 
  3
  Decades Ago (roll d10 if desired) 
  4
  Centuries Ago (roll d% if desired) 
  5
  Millenniums Ago (roll d-whatever depending in 
  how old your game world is) 
  6
  Some Strange Time (in the future, before it could 
  have been made, outside time and space) 
  Question #4 Where Was it Made?
  1
  Locally
  2
  Village
  3
  Small Town 
  4
  City
  5
  Metropolis
  6
  Someplace Exotic (dungeon, ship, castle, another 
  plane) 
  Q5 #5 Why Was It Made?  
  1
  For the joy of crafting
  2
  For war
  3
  For a debt
  4
  For a gift
  5
  For money or trade
  6
  For religious or other enigmatic reasons
  Question #6 How Was It Made?  
  1
  By an ordinary craftsman in an ordinary place
  2
  By an ordinary craftsman in a famous place
  3
  By an extraordinary craftsman in an ordinary 
  place
  4
  By an extraordinary craftsman in a famous place
  5
  By magic (a wizard, a cleric, the fey) 
  6
  By something very strange (an extra dimensional 
  forge, a dragon, that kind of thing) 
  As an added holiday bonus an example . Note that the 
  numbers in brackets) 
  #1 A Magic Pot, purifies 2 quarts of water in one hour 
  while the sun is out . Command Word Brita 
  Roll #1 
  Who (2,6) Rural and Someone Strange 
  Hmm. I decided  it was made for a hermit, 
  Roll #2 What (4) Enchanted Materials 
  Glassteel sounds cool to me.
  Roll #3 
  When  (2) Years Ago 
  I’ll skip the roll and say 2 years ago 
  Roll #4
   Where was it Made (5) In a Metropolis, 
  I’ll just say Capital City for simplicity 
  Roll #5 
   
  Why Was It Made (4) For a gift 
  Hmm,someone thought well enough of this hermit to 
  give him or her a magic vase,  Interesting no?
  And Last #6 How Was  it  made (2) BY an ordinary 
  craftsman in an extraordinary place.
  So, I guess it was made by a journeyman at a famous 
  forge, likely.
  Racking my head I decide it was made a  coupke of years 
  ago at the famous  glass-works in the capital city  then 
  changed to glassteel and enchanted by wizard,  How it 
  ended up gifted to a hermit, well thats another story. 
  Still if you can’t come up with a some cool adventure 
  seeds  from that you are on the wrong end of the DM’s  
  screen.
  So there you go, random magic items for almost any 
  world with just a few rolls.  
  Good Gaming from 5 Stone Games 
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  The Classic Six Method for Random Item History By 5 Stone Games
  
  10
  10
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Elf-Culler 
  (“Eftmokran” in Old Orken)
  by Sean Holland
  empress@sea-of-stars-rpg.com
  http://seaofstarsrpg.wordpress.com/
  This broad-bladed spear is made of black 
  steel (quenched in the blood of elves) and dark oak 
  reinforced with strips of treated bone.  A buttspike of 
  black steel allows it to be set firmly against mounted 
  enemies or used as a secondary weapon in its own right.  
  In the hands on any but those with orc blood, it is but a 
  well crafted spear, but in the hands of an orc, it is finely 
  balanced and almost alive with its desire for combat.
  For most, it is but a spear, though 
  admittedly a sharp one that is difficult to break.  
  But in the hands of an orc, it is a spear +1/ +3 against 
  elves, cowards and prey animals.  When used to strike 
  the killing blow against any of the types of creature 
  it gains extra bonuses against, the wielder heals 1 hp 
  for each HD of the slain creature and any orcs within 
  60’ are inspired with bloodlust and gain a +1 bonus to 
  combat damage for the next 1d4 rounds.
  The wielder of the spear must use it to 
  kill in combat or sacrifice an intelligent being every 
  three days or find their dreams troubled by increasingly 
  intense dreams of murder, blood and destruction.  After 
  three days, the dreams are so powerful that the wielder 
  gains no rest from sleep (nor natural healing) and 
  becomes increasing irritable and prone to violence.
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  An evil magic spear for a 6th level half-orc fighter. The half-
  orc fighter was slain, but he saved his fellow adventurers who 
  are thus intent on raising the half-orc back from the dead. 
  The orcish deity seeks to cull the weak. Delivering the magical 
  spear metaphorically as a bequest from the deceased half-orc 
  to the half-orc raised, the deity wishes to manifest malice 
  towards the non-orcs (especially the “elf”), unceasing warfare 
  and sacrifices involving large quantities of blood.
  Thanks,  
   
   
  M. L.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  Elf-Culler (“Eftmokran” in Old Orken) by Sean Holland
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  1d12 Absurd Inventions to 
  Kill or Capture Dragons
  by Doyle Wayne Ramos Tavener
  javaapp@gmail.com
  http://startingoverwosr.blogspot.com/
  1 - Power Word, Kill Dragon. 
  Umbolt Caranthian, a Wizard of the Lineage of 
  Caranthes, became obsessed with the idea of altering  the 
  so-called Power Word magics in order to create a spell 
  that would target Dragons specifically. After many years 
  of study and effort, he created the following spell, which 
  when he uttered in the presence of Sorcences, Wyrm of 
  the Well of Androx, resulted in the Wizard’s death.
  Power Word, Kill Dragon
  Level:  5       
  Components: V      
  Range: 15’/level       
  Casting Time: 1 segment (or 1 round*)
  Duration: Special       
  Saving Throw: None      
  Area of Effect: One creature
  Explanation/Description: When Power Word, Kill 
  Dragon is uttered, any dragon of the magic-user’s 
  choice will be instantly killed, if it possesses less than 
  30 hit points. The caster must be facing the creature, 
  and it must be within the caster’s range of 15’ per level 
  of experience. Note that if the dragon is weakened due 
  to any cause so that its hit points are below the usual 
  maximum, the current number of hit points possessed 
  will be used.
  However, the caster, upon utterance of the spell, will 
  also be killed if he possesses less than 30 hit points. The 
  caster will also be killed automatically if the spell is cast 
  at a dragon with greater than 30 hit points.
  * If your system doesn’t use segments. Your system 
  doesn’t use segments? That’s lame, dude. 
  2 - The August Scroll of Declaration. 
  The City-State of Capitolanus, which prided itself on 
  its divine destiny as savior of the peoples of the Western 
  continent,  confronted the dragon Defaultus Maximus 
  by sending a representative of the Senate of that august 
  city to confront the beast. Cruzus Assus demanded, in 
  the name of the Senate and Legates of the People, that 
  the beast negotiate, reading from a very official looking 
  scroll to that effect. Defaultus Maximus flamed Cruzus 
  Assus, and then ate all the virgins in Capitolanus. This 
  being an admittedly small number, the dragon then 
  destroyed all the rest of the city. 
  The Gods, in their infinite wisdom and mercy, made 
  holy the scroll of declaration used by Cruzus Assus, 
  which, if read within 20 feet of any dragon (takes 1d6 
  rounds) causes the Dragon, if not in combat, to fall 
  asleep for 1d12 days, unless a save versus magic at -2 is 
  made successfully.  The dragon wakes up if attacked 
  (of course) and most mature dragons have heard of the 
  scroll and its effects. 
  3 - Valiant’s Trap-Jaw. 
  Before he was a knight, the young Valiant created this 
  device in order to deal with a small swamp-dragon that 
  had cornered the young man and his companion in a 
  tree. The trap-jaw is a simple device using two pieces of 
  wood, perhaps a cubit in length, which are tied together 
  on both ends. The middle of the two pieces of wood 
  are then drawn back from each other, which creates an 
  oval shape, and a wedge is inserted in the gap between 
  the two pieces. One end is then tied to a rope, and the 
  contraption is then swung onto the dragon jaw so that 
  the wedge is dislodged by the impact and the two pieces 
  of wood snap the beast’s mouth closed. 
  The trap-jaw may be created with nothing but wood and 
  rope, as well as a couple of hours of work, and at the 
  Referee’s discretion may require some kind of successful 
  skill or crafting roll. A successful attack roll must be 
  made to use the device, followed by a successful Dex 
  check, again at the Referee’s discretion. The device 
  only works if the trap-jaw is larger than the dragon, so 
  any drake or dragon with more than three hit dice is 
  unaffected. 
  4 - Eslyn’s Palace of Virgins
  This humble edifice is a log and wattle longhouse, 
  approximately 80’ long by 20’ wide. There is a large 
  sign on the outside of the structure that reads “PALACE 
  OF VIRGINS”. The longhouse is made of extremely 
  fragile building materials such as wattle and daub, 
  with a facade of stronger material such as timber and 
  stone. Long, thick stakes are placed in the structure in 
  a splayed pattern. If the dragon lands on the structure 
  it immediately collapses, and the dragon is impaled by 
  1d6 spikes for 1d12 damage each. This trap was first used 
  by the village of Eslyn which had suffered numerous 
  attacks by dragons in its past. Unfortunately, after the 
  trap was constructed the village was attacked by the 
  wyrm Vermoxin, who preferred his virgins roasted, and 
  who breathed on the edifice, revealing its true nature 
  before he landed. 
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  1d12 absurd inventions to kill or capture dragons.
  Thanks,  
   
   
  S. H.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  1d12 Absurd Inventions to Kill or Capture Dragons by Doyle Wayne Ramos Tavener
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  5 - Neblin’s Catapault of Nets
  The Gnomish Engineer, Neblin of Gromsk, designed 
  and oversaw the construction of this device for the 
  Dwarves of the Humbolt Mountains in The Third War 
  of the Three Dragons (the previous two wars proving 
  spectacularly unsuccessful for the Dwarves). The 
  catapult fires a weighted net that opens some 30’ feet 
  after being fired. The net has a circumference of 60’, 
  and is weighted with iron balls around the edge of the 
  net, the impetus of which causes the net to expand as it 
  flies through the air. 
  The minimum range of the catapult is 90 yards, and 
  the maximum range is 150 yards, owing to the nature 
  of the missile involved. The whole apparatus weighs 
  approximately 2000 lbs, fires one net every 4 rounds, 
  requires a crew of 6 to operate successfully, as well as a 
  skilled artillerist. The operator must score a hit vs. AC 
  of 0 (20) or the normal AC of the dragon, whichever 
  is more beneficial to the dragon. If a hit is scored, the 
  dragon receives a save vs. Paralyzation (Reflex DC 15). 
  Otherwise, the dragon is considered to be entangled 
  (may not attack anything other than the net) and falls a 
  number of feet equal to its current speed. If the dragon 
  falls to the ground before it can disentangle itself, it 
  tales standard falling damage. Each round it falls after 
  the first, it receives another chance to save to extract 
  itself from the net. 
  6 - Armand’s Transubstantiation of Desire. 
  This spell, by the noted illusionist, transforms the 
  appearance and smell of the target into that of a 
  prepubescent girl. 
   
  Armand’s Transubstantiation of Desire 
  Level:  4       
  Components: V, S   
  Range: Touch       
  Casting Time: 1 turn
  Duration: 1 hour per level of the caster       
  Saving Throw: Yes      
  Area of Effect: One creature
  Explanation/Description: When Armand’s 
  Transubstantiation of Desire is cast, the target 
  transforms into the appearance of a virgin. Note that 
  the target looks, smells, and sounds like a prepubescent 
  girl, but this does not change the appearance of the 
  equipment of the target, who may look like Magical 
  Sword Princess if fully geared up. This may provoke a 
  disbelief save on the part of the dragon, depending on 
  the intelligence of the beast. 
  Note that if the target is not actually a virgin, a Dragon 
  receives an automatic save within 30’ of the target. 
  7 - The Scourge. 
  This disease was crafted by the Arch-Devil Geryon, and 
  was offered as a gift to the Patriarch of Ximenes, when 
  that nation was plagued by Dragonflight. Reportedly, 
  the archbishop was unaware of the origin of the disease, 
  due to the fact that Geryon had tricked a group of 
  hapless adventurers to produce the vial containing 
  the disease as a result of a Quest spell, cast by the 
  Archbishop. 
  The disease, known as The Scourge, takes 1d4 weeks 
  after exposure to take effect, along with a failed saving 
  throw vs. Poison (Fort DC 15). At this point, the dragon 
  so infected begins to itch uncontrollably, and begins to 
  loses scales from its skin. Each week, for 1d6 weeks, the 
  Dragon’s AC degrades by 1. After this point, the dragon 
  begins to grow its scales back, at a rate of 1 AC per 
  month, until the dragon is restored to its original AC. 
  Unfortunately, The Scourge also effects humans, 
  resulting in a painful sloughing of skin for 1d6 days, 
  ending in death. Again, a successful saving throw vs. 
  Poison (Fort DC 15) negates the effects. 
  8 - Dornir’s Wonderful Dragon in a Bottle. 
  This arcane device, created by the noted mage and 
  collector, Dornir, sucks any dragon of adult size 
  or smaller into its partly extra-dimensional space, 
  simultaneously shrinking it and placing it in a state 
  of suspended animation. The dragon is allowed a save 
  vs. Magic to avoid the effects (Will DC 20). Due to a 
  fundamental flaw in the construction of the device, if 
  the dragon saves successfully, the user of the Bottle must 
  then also save vs. Magic at -2 (Will DC 25), or be sucked 
  into the device himself. 
  This may be why Dornir disappeared from the scrolls 
  of history after he completed the device, and why 
  Zarothenes - The Wing that is Death - can be still 
  heard, to this very day, cooing over a glass bottle from 
  among his vast horde of treasure. 
   9 - The Book of the Wyrm, by Cyril 
  Therasophones. 
  This enchanted book is only partially complete, holding 
  tales of 1d6 famous dragons of the past, as well as their 
  slayers. There is enough room in the book for 1d3 more 
  tales of about the same length. 
  If one reads the book the night before confronting a 
  Dragon, both the dragon and the reader must make 
  a save vs. magic (Will DC 20). If both fail, then the 
  book acquires a new chapter, telling how the reader 
  confronted and slew the beast, but was laid low during 
  the effort. In this case, both the reader and the Dragon 
  are considered dead, and may not be resurrected. 
  If only the dragon fails, it receives a -2 to attack and 
  damage vs. the reader. If only the reader fails the save, 
  he receives the same penalty. 
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  1d12 Absurd Inventions to Kill or Capture Dragons by Doyle Wayne Ramos Tavener
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  10 - The Vine of Entanglement of the 
  Slumbering. 
  If a cutting of this vine, which originates with the Druids 
  of Drakenwald, is planted near the lair of a sleeping 
  dragon, the Referee should determine how long it will be 
  before the beast awakens. Each week after the planting 
  the dragon sleeps, vines slowly grow around the creature, 
  entangling it. When the dragon awakes, it receives a -1 
  to Attack, Damage and AC for each week the vine has 
  grown around it. Each round after it awakes the dragon 
  may destroy 1d3 points of this effect. 
  Adventurers must gamble between waiting another week 
  for additional effect, and the chance the Dragon may 
  wake up and shred the vines before the beast is attacked. 
  11 - The Ebony Chest of Drascilles the 
  Elder. 
  This cursed chest (named after the dragon who first 
  owned it - the origin of the item is unknown) is cursed 
  to fascinate those who possess it, inspiring them to gaze 
  longingly within the chest at its contents. Dragons, of 
  course, do this normally, but in the event of a sudden 
  attack the dragon may not be able to tear itself way from 
  the sight of the treasure within for several moments. 
  There is a flat 50% chance the dragon will be staring 
  into the chest if it possesses the item within its horde. If 
  it does, the dragon must make a successful save vs. Magic 
  (Will DC 20) or be automatically surprised by a group of 
  attackers. 
  12 - The Dragon-Slaying Spear of Lovar the 
  Magnificent.  
  This 16’ pike is made from orichalcum, which is light 
  and flexible enough to act as a substitute for Ash or 
  other woods from which the hafts of such weapons are 
  normally made.  The blade is shaped like a 13’ broad-
  leaf, and has foot-long cross-pieces placed at two, four 
  and six feet behind the blade. Each cross piece is slightly 
  larger than the one before it. At the base of the pike is a 
  6’ spike, which is used to embed the weapon firmly into 
  the ground
  When a man on the ground is attacked by a dragon, 
  sometimes the beast will land on top of its opponent or 
  very near to it. In these cases, the spear is left on the 
  ground, and picked up swiftly when the dragon is in 
  range, and butted against the ground in order to receive 
  the ‘charge’ of the dragon. If the dragon attacks the 
  wielder, the pike will do double damage on a successful 
  hit. if the dragon lands of the lands of the wielder, the 
  pike will do triple damage. In both cases, the wielder 
  must be able to withstand the fear of the dragon to 
  prepare for the attack, which few are able to do.
  Lovar was the first individual to successfully have 
  used the spear against an attacking dragon. He did not 
  survive the attack. 
  Dragon-Slaying Spear - Damage: 1d12 Requires two 
  hands. 
  1d12 Absurd Inventions to Kill or Capture Dragons by Doyle Wayne Ramos Tavener
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  BEHOLD READER, 
  thou hast discovered the 
  Grimoire of ________
  by Anonymous
  Roll d20:
  1. Beelzebol’s Bards of Damnation 
  (blood-spattered, black boar hide, covered in dead flies): 
  It has the power of summoning demons with flaming 
  instruments that play hellishly metal music for d4 
  hours. (Demons may be persuaded to crowd surf into 
  foes. They murder anyone who makes requests for them 
  to play)
  2. Sweet Tongue and Cheeky Chat 
  (exotically perfumed, satin tied leather journal) : It 
  contains scandalously slick insults and seductions. A 
  silver thin hand mirror has been used as a bookmark. 
  Person who reads this gains a bonus to their charisma 
  or social interactions. If mirror is gazed in frequently, 
  player will believe they appear prettier than they are)
  3. Osmosis 
  (soft blue suede cover with thin rice paper): It has text 
  and graphics that immediately absorb onto a person’s 
  skin and become a seemingly-permanent tattoo. (The 
  text tats can be exchanged by a player sleeping on 
  another book; to remove images a blank book or scroll 
  must be used. The instructions for use are inside the 
  book.)
  4. Devotional Craft 
  (humongous iron tablet covers, a greasy spine of bolts 
  and paper-thin sheets of copper): It contains instruction 
  in three foreign languages on how to build an automaton 
  that will serve you. The carved illustrations appear 
  confusing and out of order. (With a thorough reading 
  and help from a proficient linguist, player discovers 
  the book has everything to make a small magical robot 
  servant)
  5. Levitation 
  (dusty worn leather book that is chained to the floor 
  and has a dent of a footprint): This book will begin to 
  float off the ground when unbound and is able to support 
  the weight of an average male barbarian. If the player 
  spends time meditating and reading the book under a 
  tree, they gain the ability to levitate for d6 rounds/day)
  6. Grotesque Hag Hexes 
  (stretched skins of various humanoids stitched together): 
  It is heavily illustrated with curses from turning humans 
  into beasts to pustulating illnesses. In order to perform 
  a hex, player must have drops of blood of the enemy and 
  themselves to smear onto the cover. It absorbs and let’s 
  out a shrill scream that anyone who hears it must make a 
  saving throw against to not be terrified for a d4 rounds)
  7. Paladin’s Grace and Poetry  
  (medieval text with ornate illustration of a dragon 
  on the cover and a elaborately decorated pen): This 
  ancient text is filled with sonnets and epic tales of 
  heroic knights. The inner cover has signatures of who 
  it belonged to scratched out. If the player signs the 
  book, player begins to glow and gains a bonus to their 
  strength. If they read aloud from the text, book flickers 
  and transforms into a mighty sword and shield for d6 
  rounds/poem)
  8. Soothing Nature 
  (giant dried leaves sewn together with thick vines and 
  full of papyrus): This book features flora and fauna 
  that attracts the nearest large insects or plantcreature. 
  Owner of the book gains the ability of friendship with 
  giant bugs and sentient plants. (If turned to the section 
  on gardening, reader who sings aloud the pollination 
  rhymes gains the ability to talk to flowers)
  9. Hibernation 
  (book is extremely soft and warm): When opened, 
  reader discovers this contains a baby BearCat curled 
  asleep inside. It is as small as a saucer and gazes up at 
  reader and instantaneously purr growls affectionately. 
  Congratulations, player now is a parent to a rare beast. 
  (If lullabies are read to the BearCat, it gains the ability 
  to speak telepathically to the reader)
  10. Astrological Navigation 
  (plain leather bound book with faded golden astronomy 
  symbols): It appears blank indoors and during the day. 
  At night it glows. (If player opens the book in the night, 
  a golden light the size of a campfire illuminates them 
  and identifies the stars, planets, and any outer planes 
  locations. Reader gains a bonus to navigation and their 
  eyes glow with their favorite galactic image at night.)
  11. Playful Illusion and the Power of 
  Imagination 
  ( glittery book covered in childish doodles): It
  has the power to grant the reader the ability to perform 
  small, dazzling illusions once per
  day. If player concentrates for d4 rounds alongside 
  another player, they can create a small
  feast once per day. If player concentrates with d8 people 
  for d4 rounds, they can create a
  small tavern once per day.
  12. Mythical creation 
  (completely square sturdy text with thin patterned paper, 
  at least a dozen pages appear torn out): It has numerous 
  Dear Santicore,
  I would freaking love a table of d100 grimoires and 
  what the PCs get from reading them.
  Thanks,  
   
   
  C. G.
  BEHOLD READER, thou hast discovered the Grimoire of ________ by Anonymous
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  instructions on ever other page on how to summon loyal 
  monsters. (Player must tear out a page and fold into 
  desired beast and read an incantation. The mythical 
  beasts survives as long as the origami is protected by the
  summoner and not naturally killed in combat)
  13. The Birth of Darkness 
  (thin maroon dyed goat skin stretched with occult 
  symbols carved in): Player that reads aloud the Latin 
  and follows the directions to howl will earn
  themselves a daily power to summon d10 shadow wolves. 
  The first time is painful in which
  the player vomits up a billowing cloud of shadows with a 
  pack of dark dire wolves. (If all the
  book is read over, player gains the ability to hide in 
  shadows)
  14. Prophetic progeny 
  ( silver foiled surface and a strange wispy tree of names 
  that changes
  based on who holds it): This text allows you to summon 
  your descendants or your
  reincarnation as another being for d12 hours/ day. The 
  summoned progeny will always be
  the most colorful, quirky of your lineage and view your 
  interactions as an adventurous
  dream. (It is up to the GM if the same being is 
  summoned repeatedly. Whatever is more fun
  or interesting to the player)
  15. Linguistics 
  ( thick, heavy tomb with small inscriptions in dozens of 
  languages): This text
  has the power to grant the reader d20 languages if 
  studied thoroughly for a week. (If player
  is illiterate, they gain ability to decipher d20 ancient 
  symbols and hieroglyphic languages)
  This book has the ability to talk and translate back if 
  player decides to caress the cover and
  compliment it. If insulted, the book will curse player for 
  d4 hours to babble rubbish.
  16. Monstrous visions 
  (tattered cover with inscriptions that appear to be 
  written by the use of a
  claw): The pages contain rough sketches of monsters and 
  brief descriptions of their
  alignment and eating habits. Player gains the ability to 
  see from the perspective of the
  nearest monster if they focus for d4 rounds. This can be 
  used d4 times/day.
  17. Stoneshifting 
  (crushed, dirty, rugged book with disintegrating pages 
  and a damp earthy
  scent): Player gains the power to move stones d12 feet 
  away from them. If used
  repeatedly, player gradually gains the skill to shapeshift 
  into a rock golem once per week.
  If the player wants it as a daily power they will also gain 
  the unnatural curse to consume
  and solely digest gems or marbled stone for sustenance as 
  a human. They can choose to
  decrease their power and live a life of safe yet dull role-
  playing)
  18. Grock 
  (a weathered cloth book with yellow pages that smells 
  like old damp socks): When
  opened an cloud of dust fills the air and enters the 
  nostrils of the reader. Player
  hallucinates and gains flashes of brilliance into 
  understanding how to craft and repair an
  ancient magical weapon. (The reader will fully 
  comprehend how to craft/repair an
  additional item when bathing, drifting off, or after a fine 
  meal or moments with a lover. The
  player must roll a savings throw if they want to resist 
  contemplating in these situations)
  19. Phantasmagoria 
  (an oddly translucent cover with black pages, silvered 
  ink text, and a
  sulfurous scent): The black pages are full of ghostly 
  tales that change the fictional victims to
  names of characters in the party. The tales fly out of the 
  book onto the walls and whispers
  other players names. Reader gains the skill of 
  Intimidation. (If tales are repeated another
  time, book stretches and thins into a translucent cape 
  and spits out a magic lantern that
  makes candle smoke dance into shapes of jolly ghosts 
  and devils.
  20. Water Serpent Sorcery 
  (a damp water damaged book wrapped in a torn 
  treasure map): It has the daily power to summon water 
  elementals in the shape of snakes by playing a flute.
  They last d4 rounds on land, d12 rounds on water. (If 
  player allows a water serpent to
  crawl and wash over them, they gain the ability to breath 
  underwater. If player drinks up a
  water serpent from within a body of water, they gain the 
  ability to walk on water. If player
  collaborates with a wizard or druid, they can summon a 
  gigantic canoe made out of
  cooperative water serpents.) 
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  BEHOLD READER, thou hast discovered the Grimoire of ________ by Anonymous
  
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  20 Magic Candles
  by Jerry Morrissette
  j24u.zombie@gmail.com
  Here’s a collection of candles for your campaign, widely 
  varying in power and usefulness.  I’ve avoided a lot of 
  hard mechanics so that they appeal to as many games as 
  possible.  The concepts are familiar enough though that 
  a DM should be able to figure out what kind of Success 
  numbers/Saving throws/Difficulty Checks are needed 
  quite easily.
  1. Candle of Dying Words
  Description: A small golden candle with a wick made out 
  of platinum white hair; a strong smell of honey lingers 
  about the wax.  
  Use: To properly use the candle, it must be lit no farther 
  than a few feet away from a humanoid corpse within a 
  round of its death.  A hazy blue smoke soon emanates 
  from the candle and hangs over the body.  While the 
  candle magic is working, small glowing wisps and 
  sparkles can be seen in the smoke as it prevents the dead 
  soul from departing the corpse.
   
  The candle works for 2d4 rounds, plus 1 round 
  per point of Charisma bonus the dead had in life.  
  During this time the dead can speak freely with anyone 
  who speaks a language it spoke in life, but it is unable 
  to interact in any other way with the world around it.  
  The corpse’s voice is the same as it was in life, with a 
  deep reverberation to it.  Once the candle burns out, the 
  corpse immediately falls silent as the soul departs to 
  its destined afterlife.  It is not possible to use multiple 
  candles on the same corpse.
  2. Goblin Tallow
  Description: A small twisted green candle the color 
  of rancid pea soup.  It smells like moss and the wick is 
  usually made from leather.
  Use: once lit, the candle burns quickly for a full minute.  
  During this time a 3rd level goblin rogue is summoned 
  to fight alongside the one that lit the wick.  Capable of 
  understanding common trade tongues, the goblin is a 
  deadly combatant when working with others.
   
  At the end of one minute the goblin shrieks and 
  melts into a puddle of quickly cooling wax.  It is possible 
  to extinguish the candle early, and relight the wick 
  another time to use the rest of the summoning.  If the 
  candle is extinguished early, the goblin disappears in a 
  puff of acrid smoke, instead of melting. 
  3. The Defiant Flame
  Description: a tall, thick candle the color of overcast 
  skies, every now and then a small flash of light can be 
  seen inside.  The candle smells like impending rain.
  Use: If the candle is lit during intense storm conditions, 
  the effects of the weather will not be felt within 30 feet 
  of the candle, for as long as it burns.  Neither rain, snow 
  nor intense wind will be felt, though objects hurled by 
  the wind can still be a danger from outside.  The candle 
  must be lit during the conditions that are to be defended 
  against, which can be very difficult to do with just a 
  simple match.  The duration of the candle is about 10 
  hours, and does not have to be used all at once.
  4. Candle of Outer Whispers
  Description: a neat black candle that stinks of ozone and 
  occasionally bubbles forth oily liquid, even when not lit.
  Use: used by a wizard while engaging in deep research.  
  Once lit, the candle allows the wizard to hear whispers 
  from the outer reaches of reality, and the wisest and 
  smartest of wizards are able to plumb the madness they 
  hear for bits and pieces of powerful magical advice.  
  Weather they are researching a new spell, a ritual or 
  just searching for answers to ancient mysteries, the 
  wizard receives a bonus equal to +1 for every point of 
  intelligence and wisdom he has above 10 on any research 
  rolls made while the candle is lit.  The candle lasts for 
  16 hours.  After using the candle, the wizard suffers 1d6 
  temporary damage to both intelligence and wisdom.
   
  Only the wizard that lights the candle can 
  benefit from using it.  Anyone else nearby is incapable of 
  hearing the whispered words, and instead they only hear 
  the faint sound of multiple flutes playing random and 
  jarring notes.
  5. Corpse Mold
  Description: a thick candle about the size of a wine 
  bottle, the wax is flesh colored and always warm to the 
  touch.
  Use: to use the candle it must be lit, and then the flame 
  used to superficially burn a humanoid.  The burn is 
  red and ugly, but does no real damage.  The candle is 
  then placed on the forehead of a dead, prone humanoid 
  and allowed to burn down (it takes about 2 hours time) 
  with the wax flowing over the corpse.  When the wax 
  is peeled away from the corpse, it will appear exactly 
  like the person burned with the candle flame.  This 
  doppelganger effect will last until the superficial burn is 
  healed (either 1d3+2 days or until magical healing of any 
  kind is received).
   
  In the event that the reshaped corpse is 
  resurrected while the candle’s magic is still in effect, 
  then the change is permanent, and from that point on 
  the two individuals will always know in what direction 
  the other person is.
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  Some neat magical candles.
  Thanks, 
   
  N. R.
  20 Magic Candles by Jerry Morrissette
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  6. Translating Candle
  Description: a medium candle of the type usually found 
  on a desk or workbench, the candle is found in many 
  colors and smells of old moldy books.  
  Use: when the candle is lit, a page of script can be held 
  over the flame and it appears to be written in a language 
  understood by the man holding the paper over the flame.  
  In this way entire scrolls and books can be read by 
  someone who does not read the written alphabet on the 
  paper.
   
  The translation effect is apparent to anyone 
  looking at the pages being held over the flame, but as 
  soon as the paper is moved away it is back in the original 
  script.  The candle lasts for about 4 hours.
  7. The Repulsive Flame
  Description: a green candle with a slightly twisted 
  shape, it smells strongly of holly.
  Use: the smoke from this candle is a strong irritant 
  to free-willed undead.  What starts as a slight itch 
  eventually becomes an irresistible burning sensation that 
  is almost impossible for the undead to keep from reacting 
  to.  The allergic reaction ceases once the undead moves 
  more than 30’ away from the candle.  The candle lasts 
  for about 4 hours.
  8. Fortifying Candle
  Description: this small candle is light brown and smells 
  like steak.
  Use: if used to warm a bowl of water for about 15 
  minutes, the water becomes a thin but tasty and filling 
  broth that is a perfect meal replacement.  The candle 
  can be used about 4 times, on up to a large mixing bowl 
  in size.
  9. Candle of Colors
  Description: this medium white candle has small flecks 
  of various colors within it if looked at closely.  It has no 
  unusual smell.
  Use: while burning, the color of the smoke from the 
  candle can be changed just by saying aloud one of 
  the available colors while touching the candle.  The 
  available colors are: red, black, green, blue, yellow, 
  orange, violet and white.  The smoke rises from the 
  candle in a 20’ plume that is visible from some distance.
  10. Animator Candle
  Description: a small candle the color of dried blood, it 
  smells of putrid meat.
  Use: when placed upon the head of a corpse and lit, 
  this candle animates the corpse as either a skeleton or 
  zombie, depending on the physical condition of the 
  body.  The candle adheres to the head of the corpse 
  and will not fall off, though it can be extinguished 
  and removed by the person who placed it there.  While 
  the candle burns, the undead will follow simple verbal 
  instructions to the best of its ability.  The candle burns 
  for a total of 1 hour, which need not be used all at once.  
  There is no limit to how many candle-animated corpses 
  can be controlled at once by the same person. 
  11. Spider Wick
  Description: This small candle looks like it was made 
  of wax covering a core of tightly packed spider silk.  It is 
  slightly sticky to the touch.
  Use: The candle burns very quickly, only lasting two 
  rounds.  In that time however, the smoke from the 
  candle transforms into thick webbing wherever it travels.  
  In effect, every 5’ square that the candle travels through 
  in those 2 rounds is treated as under the effect of the Web 
  spell.  The webbing from the candle lasts for 30 minutes.
  12. Tasting Flame
  Description: a large candle crafted in royal purple with 
  gold painted trim.
  Use: when placed upon a table and lit, any poisonous 
  food or drink served at the table will glow a sickly 
  green just before it can be ingested.  The food or drink 
  item will then animate, slowly moving away from the 
  person who was about to ingest it, and the candle will 
  begin to cry “Murderer, Murderer!” in a booming tenor 
  voice.  This is a favored treasure that is highly valued by 
  unpopular nobles.
  13. Birthday Candle
  Description: a simple white candle and wick with no 
  adornment.  If broken open, the candle will emit a small 
  amount of blood.
  Use: If this nefarious candle is placed upon a cake or 
  pie, and then blown out by someone on their birthday, 
  that person will immediately age 1 year physically.  The 
  lost year of life will be bestowed upon he that baked the 
  pie or cake.  The baker will not become any younger; 
  they will just not grow any older at all for the next year.  
  Performing this act once a year will effectively grant 
  immortality. 
  14. Preserving Flame
  Description: this dark red candle has white marbling 
  throughout.  It also smells like bacon.  Sweet, sweet 
  bacon.
  20 Magic Candles by Jerry Morrissette
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Use: the candle emits a steady stream of thick smoke 
  that smells strongly of mesquite.  If a piece of meat 
  roughly the size of a pork chop is held over the smoke for 
  approximately ten minutes, the smoke preserves the meat 
  for up to 6 months before it starts to go bad.  Larger 
  meat items require longer time over the smoke.  The 
  candle burns for a total of about 3 hours.
  15. Bastard Bane
  Description: this slender violet candle gives off a slight 
  smell of lavender when burned.
  Use: the magic of this candle prevents impregnation due 
  to any copulation performed within the area affected by 
  the smoke from the flame.  The candle burns for 1 hour, 
  and is a favorite amongst royalty wishing to avoid any 
  unwanted heirs.
  16. Wax Mold
  Description: this yellow candle looks cheaply made and 
  has a strong copper smell to it.
  Use: if the wax from this candle is poured over a key or 
  other small metallic item that has been placed flat on a 
  hard surface, the user can then crack the candle in half, 
  exposing an exact duplicate of the original item.  The 
  duplicate item is permanent, and the candle can only be 
  used for a single duplication.
  17. Watchman’s Candle
  Description: this dark blue candle is flecked with small 
  metallic shavings.
  Use: if the candle is lit and placed within the mouth of a 
  relatively fresh corpse (dead for no more than 3 hours), 
  the eyes of the corpse are filled with an unearthly yellow 
  glow and an image of what the corpse saw in the last 
  30 seconds of their life is projected on a nearby surface 
  (within ten feet).  The view is that of the dead person, 
  and they may not have necessarily seen what killed 
  them, making the candle useless in directly identifying 
  their killer.  After the thirty seconds have passed, the 
  corpse crumbles into ash.
  18. Timeless Flames
  Description: a series of six large candles that appear to 
  be made of silver with a red silken wick.
  Use: when these six candles are lit and placed in a 
  circle around a humanoid, the humanoid is forced 
  into a deep magical slumber.  The candles will not 
  burn out naturally, and the humanoid will remain 
  asleep, suspended in time for as long as the burning 
  candles encircle them.  Extinguishing the candles or 
  moving them out of the circle formation ends the spell 
  immediately.  The humanoid requires 1 round for every 
  decade (or part thereof) asleep to fully recover.  Each set 
  of candles can only be used one time.
  19. Cold Candle
  Description: this candle appears to be made of clear blue 
  ice, and is very cold to the touch.  A small black wick 
  adorns the top and runs through the center of the icicle.
  Use: when this candle is lit, it immediately begins to 
  draw heat from the area around it.  Within ten minutes 
  an area 20’ in diameter reaches 30 degrees and stays at 
  that temperature, regardless of what heat sources are 
  present.  Creatures with the “fire” descriptor take 2d4 
  damage an hour as the heat is pulled from their bodies.
   
  The candle burns very slowly, and will stay lit 
  for up to two weeks if undisturbed.
  20. The Night Watch
  Description: this small candle is a golden metallic color, 
  with a white wick and scarlet painted runes around the 
  outer surface.  It smells like sulfur and charcoal.
  Use: if the runes around the candle are read aloud (they 
  are in a language no one knows, but all understand), 
  and several drops of blood from the reader are dripped 
  upon the lit wick, a powerful Devil will be summoned 
  forth from the nine hells.  For one night (sundown to 
  sunrise), the devil will stand guard over the reader and 
  protect him from all that attempts to him harm.  In 
  return the devil takes a little portion of the reader’s soul 
  (represented by 2 permanent hit points lost).
   
  The devil is unfathomably evil, but also terribly 
  charismatic and cordial.  The bargain is not official 
  until the details are explained by the devil and a 
  contract is signed by the reader.  The devil will not be 
  overly upset if the reader has a change of heart; after all, 
  he has the patience of an immortal being and plenty of 
  opportunity to meet this little person again.
   
  A very brave and shrewd person may attempt 
  to haggle more into the deal, but should beware that 
  no creature in all of existence negotiates like a devil in 
  search of a soul.  It should also be noted that from that 
  point on, there is a connection between the reader and 
  that devil, no matter how tenuous and faint.  It is not 
  unheard of for a candle devil to reappear in a former 
  reader’s life again at some point, usually at a time of 
  terrible strife, to try and work another deal out of them. 
  20 Magic Candles by Jerry Morrissette
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  A Little Draconic, A 
  Little Demonic
  by Jordan
  Jdsmith1905@yahoo.com
  SIDE A (The Draconic)
  Cloak of Dragonkind (Red)
  “Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong 
  to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that 
  something is not a little disguised or a little mistaken.”
  Emma
  Jane Austen
  This large flowing cloak ripples with dark red sparkles. 
  The inside is lined with soft treated Dragon gut.
  AC: as leather +1
  DR 10 vs heat/fire
  Special: Dragons will perceive the wearer as being a red 
  dragon of HD equal to the level of the player wearing 
  the cloak. They receive a save vs illusion as casting level 
  of wearer of the cloak +2 levels. Illusion includes smell 
  and sound.
  The Sniffer
  “A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, 
  affable, generous and liberal man.”
  -Cyrano de Bergerac
  Fashioned by the Dwarven Blacksmith Bridei Mak 
  Morn, it was originally created for pillaging a local 
  wyrm while it was away on the hunt. Bridei was
  historically known for having chronic sniffles but in 
  reality it was the Poniard at his side. The Poniard blade 
  is constructed of beautiful reflective steel. The golden 
  handle ends in a giant bulbous nose.
  Dmg: Poniard (as dagger) +1
  Size: s
  Spd:2
  Special: This weapon detects Dragons up to 10 miles 
  away. The nose at the end of the dagger animates like 
  a magic mouth and sniffs louder the closer it comes to 
  a Dragon. It is not possible to turn this ability off and 
  the nose has been known to mistake gold that has been 
  in the possession of a Dragon for quite some time as a 
  Dragon itself.
  SIDE B (The Demonic)
  Dimensional Harpoon of the Seafarer
  “He know not,
  Who lives most easily on land, how I
  Have spent my winter on the ice-cold sea,
  Wretched and anxious, in the paths of exile,
  Lacking dear friends, hung round by icicles,
  While hail flew past in showers”
  Anonymous. The Seafarer, c.755AD,
  translated from Anglo-Saxon by Richard Hamer (1970)
  This harpoon appears to be incredibly old but in 
  working order. It will glow under detect magic and feels 
  unnaturally cold to the touch.
  Dmg: as harpoon +1
  Size: lrg two-handed
  Spd: 8
  Special: Additional +2 to hit/dmg VS. Demons. On 
  a successful hit this harpoon tethers any demon/or 
  outsider to the current plane of the attacker. Harpoon 
  can also be used to target an escaping Demon and pull 
  them back into our reality/dimension within 1d3 rounds 
  of escape. Because of this property it ignores the effects 
  of blink or etherealness.
  The Ring of Eibon
  “From the pieces of the lightly shattered gem, 
  the disemprisoned demon rose in the form of
  a smoky fire, small as a candle-flame at first, 
  and greatening like the conflagration of
  piled fagots.”
  The Beast of Averoigne
  Clark Ashton Smith
  An etched silver ring with a dark gem stone. Peering into 
  the gemstone long enough one gains the impression of 
  movement within. 
  Upon smashing this ring the owner releases a Barbed 
  Devil. They have complete control over the demon 
  for 24 hours after which time it is banished from the 
  material plane for 1 year. Depending on the treatment 
  of the demon it may or may not decide to come back for 
  retribution from its captor.
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A couple (2-5) demonic or draconic items for use as loot 
  for an OSR dungeon crawl game.
  Thanks, 
   
   
  C. K.
  A Little Draconic, A Little Demonic by Jordan
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  A Garden of Bones:
  Arms and Armor of the 
  Nekyia Fey
  By Gus L.
  dungeonofsigns.blogspot.com    
  “All pleasure and joy lies in treading down 
  the rebel and conquering the enemy, in tearing 
  him up by the root, in taking 
  from him all that he has.” 
  – Maxim of the Nekyia Fey
  From the cold wastes and stubbled grasses of the Steppes, 
  with the thunder of the bone shod hooves the Nekyia Fey 
  annihilate all who stand before them.  The armies of 
  the Fey appear everywhere their enemies are weak, but 
  disappear into the night when outmatched.  They attack 
  with great swarms arrows from their bone bows that 
  cut through even the finest steel and their shaman raise 
  the newly dead to shamble forward into the fight again, 
  or summon shadowy spirits to terrify and harry their 
  enemies’ flanks.  Feared much as a force of nature is, the 
  Nekyia Fey are a nomadic people from the far wastes 
  of the world, coming and going in search of pasture for 
  their herds of sheep, horses and cattle.  The Nekyia Fey 
  appear to many outsiders as typical steppe barbarians, 
  but they are far more dangerous than simple horsemen 
  as Nekyia Fey have mastered the art of crafting with the 
  energies of death, making their shamans magic workers 
  of great potency.
  Like all peoples of the shadow world, Nekyia Fey suffer 
  when exposed to the bones of the terrestrial world, 
  specifically iron and other hard metals.  They work a 
  small amount of copper, gold, and silver, for decorative 
  purposes,  but otherwise have no knowledge or use for 
  metallurgy.  Instead, the Nekyia have learned to craft 
  their equipment, goods and weapons from the bones 
  and life energies of their herd animals, hunting prey 
  and enemies.  Common Nekyia Fey armor is a bone 
  lamellar (often painted or lacquered), strengthened with 
  the spirit of the creature whose bones it is crafted from.  
  Nekyia weapons are likewise crafted from the remains of 
  creatures, and occasionally sentient beings, infused with 
  their spirits to give the normally brittle bone strength 
  and puissant properties.  Each Nekyia war arrow 
  contains the soul of a bird to give it swiftness, and every 
  Nekyia tulwar or coat of jazeraint armor binds the spirit 
  of a horse, bear or man.
  More impressive than crafted equipment containing 
  bound spirits is armor formed from the magically 
  animated remains of the dead.  Entire suits of bone and 
  hide warped and formed by magic to become undead 
  armor, amplifying the strength and speed of the wearer.  
  The greatest of shaman armorers can go beyond the 
  manufacture of material weapons and armor, and 
  forge blades, bows and panoply from raw death energy 
  and bound spirits.  These ghost weapons are of great 
  power and usually only worn or wielded by the Khans 
  of the Nekyia Fey, or buried in their haunted kurgans, 
  though a few pieces have survived capture without being 
  destroyed as evil artifacts by more ignorant peoples.
  The spirits bound and trapped within the skins, furs and 
  bones of Nekyia equipment often impart magical powers 
  beyond the strengthening related to the death forging 
  alone..  
  See Table on next page.
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  a people who grow their own armor and weapons, details 
  of some of those armors and/or weapons and methods 
  which may be employed to gain their trust and thereby, 
  their secrets.
  Thanks, 
   
   
  P. S.
  A Garden of Bones: Arms and Armor of the Nekyia Fey By Gus L.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Bound Spirit Equipment: 
  Formed of bones, tusks, teeth, feather and hide, this 
  armor is enchanted with the strength of steel or iron 
  despite being forged from brittle and feeble seeming 
  materials.  Even weak shamanic crafters can fashion 
  equipment of this quality and every Nekyia Fey warrior 
  (and all Nekyia Fey are warriors to a degree) will have 
  a sword, bow, quiver of arrows and lamellar, scale or 
  jazeraint armor (of AC 6 to AC 4) of at least this quality.
  When more talented artisans have crafted this type 
  of equipment the wearer or wielder will gain magical 
  advantages from the spirit within, though this spirit is 
  always that of an animal (1-12 on above table), as human 
  and monstrous spirits are truculent and unwilling to 
  obey all but the strongest shaman. All Spirit Bonded 
  equipment is magical to a degree and effective against 
  many supernatural creatures that ignore normal 
  weapons.  For game purposes death forged, bound spirit 
  weapons should be treated as silver weapons for the 
  purpose of striking weapon immune creatures. 
  Unliving Equipment: 
  Made with greater art then the simple Bound Spirit 
  Weapons and Armor of the common Nekyia warrior, 
  Unliving equipment is itself undead and animated.  
  Most commonly found in the form of magical armor 
  made from the undead skeletons of several creatures 
  or humans, this armor appears exoskeletal and offers 
  excellent protection as well as increasing the Strength of 
  the wearer.  
  Unliving Armor will give the wearer an AC identical 
  of that to platemail (AC 3) and enhance the wearer’s 
  strength to 16.  
  Animated, Unliving weapons are also more powerful 
  and grant a +1 to hit and damage, beyond whatever 
  bonuses the spirit trapped in the weapon provides.  
  These weapons will also harm creatures immune to 
  non-magical attack.  The only negative effect associated 
  with unliving equipment is that it and its wearer may be 
  turned as if they were undead of Hit Dice Equal to the 
  wearer’s level.  A result of “Destruction” will cause the 
  armor to crumble and release the spirits within.
  In addition to crafting suits of undead armor, some 
  shaman are able to directly invoke the powers of death to 
  form suits of undead armor quickly in the field.
  Bone Panoply -LVL 2 MU Spell.  
  Casting this spell quickly (1D6 rounds) pulls the 
  animated bones and flesh of nearby corpses apart 
  and forms them into a suit of animated armor.  The 
  caster may target any sentient they touch (including 
  themselves) with this spell, and the armor will wrap 
  itself around this target protecting them.  The gory 
  D20
  Source
  Weapon
  Armor
  1
  Horse
  +1 Individual Initiative
  Speed Increased by 10’ per round
  2
  Bear
  +1 Damage
  +1 HD
  3
  Hunting Cat
  Critical Damage x2
  Nightvision 60’
  4
  Pachyderm
  +1 Damage
  -1 to All Damage Received
  5
  Wolf
  Reroll Any Natural 1 on Attack
  +1 CHR/Track by Smell
  6
  Falcon or Eagle
  +1 Hit
  +1 DEX
  7
  Herd Animal
  1 Point AC Bonus in Defensive Stance
  Never Surprised
  8
  Crow
  Inflicts Bleeding – 1HP per round
  +1 WIS
  9
  Ape
  +1 Hit
  Climb as Thief 2 in 6
  10
  Serpent
  Poisons (save or die) on Natural 20
  +1 Death & Poison Save
  11
  Fox
  Disarms on Natural 20
  2 in 6 Hide in Shadows as Thief
  12
  Boar
  2 Attacks in First Combat Round
  +1 CON
  13
  Yeti
  Exploding Damage Die
  Immunity to Cold
  14
  Human
  +1 CHR
  +1 INT
  15
  Warrior
  Non Fighters Fight as Fighter
  +1 HP per HD
  16
  Lycanthrope
  +1 STR
  Silver Weapon or Better to Hit
  17
  Demon
  Curses (-1 to Hit) on Strike
  Immunity to Normal Missiles
  18
  Sorcerer
  X2 Damage Against Magical Creatures
  Magic Turning with Save
  19
  Dragon
  Kills on Natural 20
  Immunity to Fire
  20
  Devil
  Save v. Spells or Flee + 1
  Immunity to Magic
  A Garden of Bones: Arms and Armor of the Nekyia Fey By Gus L.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  armor will provide an AC of 5, but for each roughly 
  human sized corpse available for the spell beyond the 
  first this AC will improve by one point to a maximum of 
  AC 2 (with four corpses or skeletons). The spell lasts for 
  one day or until the caster’s death.   
  Flesh Sack – LVL 3 MU Spell.  
  Using a fresh corpse the caster may form an animated 
  suit of armor from the body.  This flesh sack can wrap 
  itself around any willing sentient of a smaller size than 
  the original body, where, in addition to some protection 
  (AC 7), it provides the target with the likeness of the 
  corpse used.  The wearer of the Flesh Sack will appear 
  as the person whose body is used did in life and cannot 
  be detected as an imposter by examination, even with 
  magical means, though their behavior, speech and 
  mannerisms will often give them away.  The Flesh 
  Sack will last until its wearer decides to shed it or takes 
  more than four points of damage, at which point it will 
  collapse into a pile of revolting rotted slime. 
  Phantom Equipment:  
  Forged purely with death magics, Phantom Equipment 
  appears as the glowing shadowy presence of armor or 
  a weapon, and is formed only out of the trapped and 
  shaped souls of the dead.  These immensely powerful 
  items are beyond the arts of all but the greatest Nekyia 
  Shaman to create.  Phantom Armor provides the 
  protection of full plate armor (AC 2), and protects the 
  wearer from all non-magical attack.  Phantom Weapons 
  are likewise extremely deadly, and strike ignoring 
  non-magical armor (AC 9 against humanoid opponents 
  without magical armor).  Beyond their innate power and 
  the boons granted by the spirits trapped within Phantom 
  weapons and armor most of these extremely rare items 
  have additional enchantments, and many have very 
  specific curses designed to allow only the “correct” sort 
  of wielder or wearer, typically a Nekyia of the right 
  rank and family.
  A Garden of Bones: Arms and Armor of the Nekyia Fey By Gus L.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  ....a random table with a listing of fantasy beers/
  wines/liquors/frozen fru-fru drinks with silly names 
  and ridiculous hangover effects if you imbibe too 
  much of said beverage. Would like a d24 table (case 
  of beer size...), but would be happy with a d10, d12, d20 
  sized table, and ecstatic with a d100 table.
  Thanks,  
   
   
  R. F.
     D100 Fantasy Alcoholic 
  Drinks
  by Nathan Ryder
  n.ryder@gmx.co.uk
  +Nathan Ryder on G+
  http://rpg-maths.blogspot.co.uk (that may change)
  I’ve produced fifty entries on a list, indexed by a d100 roll. These are split up into five groups: Beers and Ciders, Red 
  Wine, White Wine and Rose, Shots and Spirits, Cocktails. There are ten of each.
  In most instances I’ve not included details of just how much is too much for someone to drink, in order to feel the 
  effects. If anyone mixes their drinks though, particularly across the five groups, that would automatically trigger at 
  least one of the hangover effects.
  Stay safe adventurers, know your limits, and always have a designated cart handler!
  Beers and Ciders
  01-
  02
  Stonegut
  Dwarf-brewed, thick with a malt and 
  limestone after-taste.
  Headache. If the drinker is a dwarf they will feel 
  full and satisfied for d3 days. A member of any 
  other race will have constipation for d4 days.
  03-
  04
  Old World
  The recipe was found as a footnote on a 
  scroll in a burned out library of a dead 
  civilization. The beer is refreshing but 
  also a little dusty.
  If even half a pint is consumed, the drinker will 
  find that everything they say is in a dead language 
  for 4+3d8 hours.
  05-
  06
  Gnome Piss
  Delicious and light. Marketing says it 
  is made up north according to a family 
  tradition, and given a whimsical name. In 
  reality, a local landlord has twenty-seven 
  gnomes in servitude and forces them to 
  down any and all cheap alcohol that he 
  can find, collecting their (still alcoholic) 
  urine in a trough for bottling. Still, it is 
  genuinely a nice drop.
  Throbbing headache above the left eye. 
  Constantly dripping palms makes gripping some 
  items challenging. Also, a very strange taste in 
  the mouth for d8 days...
  07-
  08
  Northern 
  Spite
  Extremely bitter, frothy and cheap.
  For d3 weeks after over-indulging, the drinker 
  will feel the need to drink every evening: save vs 
  poison or unable to recover HP unless drunk into 
  a stupor.
  09-
  10
  Ta-Rog’s 
  Best
  Ta-Rog is one of the most terrible brewers 
  around. His beer has an inconsistent 
  flavour, and it packs a punch the morning 
  after. Cheap though, he doesn’t need 
  the money following years of successful 
  adventuring.
  A couple of pints of Ta-Rog’s Best will give the 
  drinker a full body headache for a day after 
  waking (-2 penalty on all rolls, and everyone 
  around them will be able to tell they are 
  suffering).
  11-
  12
  McGrogan’s 
  Worst
  Brewed by a young amateur in a home 
  brewery. Won Best In Show three years 
  running...
  ...because of magic. Perfectly safe unless drinker 
  drinks any other alcoholic drink within six hours 
  of drinking it. Then drinker awakes with profound 
  ringing in the ears for 1+d4 days afterwards (-2 on 
  surprise rolls).
  13-
  14
  Bitter 
  Talent
  An incredibly sharp cider, made from 
  frost apples shipped from the far north 
  where things are strange. Served in heavy 
  stone flagons just because.
  Only a little buzzing headache greets the drinker. 
  It burns when they pee for five days afterwards. 
  No – it really burns. At the start of each day, they 
  must make three saves versus magic. Make two of 
  those saves or lose (roll d3): 1. d2 HP. 2. a point 
  of CHA (until end of five days). 3. a point of CON 
  (until end of five days).
   D100 Fantasy Alcoholic Drinks by Nathan Ryder
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  15-
  16
  Gentle 
  Amber
  Smooth, delicious and tasty. Subtle hoppy 
  flavours.
  A price is paid: for every two pints (rounded up) 
  consumed, the drinker must make a save vs poison. 
  Any failures and the drinker has violent diarrhoea 
  for d3 days and loses d2 points of CON. All points 
  are gradually regained after 1+d6 days of recovery.
  17-
  18
  Stuart’s 
  Particular
  Traded from subterranean dwellers, with 
  a fancy label slapped on, this is becoming 
  a popular drink in many adventuring 
  bars.If the clear bottle has been kept 
  in the dark, this is a refreshing and 
  delightful cider (made from dark pears). 
  If the contents have been exposed to light stronger 
  than candlelight for even five minutes, they will 
  have turned. The morning after, the drinker will 
  find that they see in black and white in regular 
  light, and only in almost perfect darkness will 
  they see in colour. Every five days roll a d20: on a 
  1, 2 or 3 normal vision will be restored in 1, 2 or 3 
  days.
  19-
  20
  Random 
  Weaver
  A cider from a micro-brewery in the west 
  of the city – you’ve never heard of it – 
  anyway, they use apples, pears and spider 
  eggs to give this refreshing beverage a 
  unique flavour!
  The spider eggs hatch during the night, and 
  the mini-arachnids dance under the skin of the 
  drinker threading a tattoo of black web into the 
  top layer. Roll a d6 to see where the designs are 
  concentrated (head, torso, left arm, right arm, left 
  leg, right leg).
  Red Wine
  21-
  22
  Waldemar ‘67
  A fruity, delightful red grown in 
  the south.
  A pleasant feeling of warmth and confidence: the drinker 
  gains an extra +1 for rolls in trying to persuade people or 
  maintain relationships with retainers.
  23-
  24
  Waldemar ‘76
  A fruity, delightful red grown in 
  the south.
  Not to be confused with the ‘67. 
  Tastes great on the night, but 
  the next day there is hell to pay. 
  Literally. 
  A demon appears to the drinker as their headache kicks 
  in, demanding payment and verbally threatening them. It 
  follows them around, taunting and demanding. Is it real?
  25-
  26
  Cabernet 
  Gormac
  Baron Gormac’s vineyards 
  produce a rich wine, mellowed 
  by years of battles fought on the 
  same ground. Connoisseurs debate 
  about whether or not the wine 
  tastes “teary”.
  Causes regular sobbing, with eyes feeling like they are 
  being burned by chopped onions. Every hour for 3d6 
  days, the drinker must save versus poison or start sobbing 
  for d60 minutes.
  27-
  28
  Zahzenzeezed 
  ‘27
  A spiced red with plummy 
  undertones from the Zenzee 
  continent.
  Speaking aloud in anything other than iambic 
  pentameter results in crippling head pressure for the 
  drinker – save versus KO or be rendered unconscious for 
  3d20 minutes. Condition lasts for a day.
  29-
  30
  Vin de Pays 
  D’Eath
  Described in Algernon’s Big Book 
  of Wine as “a nice drop.” This 
  was later retracted in the second 
  edition.
  Upon waking, magical paralysis hits. The drinker’s eyes 
  open and remain open. The drinker appears to be dead, 
  no breath and stiff as a board. Simple healing spells won’t 
  work and ESP won’t hear thoughts. Regular appearance 
  of life will return 1+d6 days later – hopefully the 
  drinker’s friends won’t have buried them...
  31-
  32
  Castle Viara
  A dark crimson fortified wine. 
  Quite rare to find, as it was kept 
  exclusively for the Viara fiefdom.
  As well as a pulsing throb behind the eyes, the drinker’s 
  brain now interprets hot as cold and vice versa. The 
  wrong end of a torch will still burn, it will just feel like 
  picking up a snowball.
  33-
  34
  Black Cellar 
  Reserve
  The Black Cellar is the only pub 
  for several hundred miles that 
  has been able to obtain this wine, 
  by trading exclusively with goat 
  herding nomads from the Nenfort 
  Trails.
  When the drinker wakes, their head feels funny, fuzzy. 
  Thoughts don’t come easy. They lost 1 INT. Looking 
  in a mirror they see that their whole body is covered with 
  thick orange scales. They stand out in a crowd, their 
  CON is a point higher and their bare skin is now like 
  leather. For carrying purposes they are encumbered even 
  when carrying nothing else.
   D100 Fantasy Alcoholic Drinks by Nathan Ryder
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  35-
  36
  Aldus Valley 
  Red
  Very drinkable. Aldus channelled 
  everything he had learned as a 
  mage into his vineyard, all that 
  he got left in the divorce. He also 
  dabbled in farming.
  Every day for a week at dawn the drinker lays an egg 
  (GM decides just how – and where – this happens). Roll 
  d10: 1. A regular hen’s egg. 2-3. It cracks and hatches 
  to reveal a snake that tries to bite them. 4-5. The egg 
  contains d6 gold pieces from a faraway country. 6-7. The 
  egg has gone bad. 8-9. The egg is covered in scales, but 
  inside is a regular hen’s egg. 10. The egg has a black X 
  that looks painted on and contains 30ml of the God Acid 
  suspended in the yolk.
  37-
  38
  Vin Rouge 
  Claude
  A wine for those who appreciate 
  good wine, to remind them of why 
  they appreciate good wine.
  The drinker’s back aches when they wake up. Upon 
  standing they realise that their legs are invisible, 
  disappearing roughly – and with some ickyness – at their 
  hips.
  39-
  40
  Grand Sante 
  XX
  Expensive, full-bodied and 
  imported. Fashionable to be seen 
  drinking it.
  The drinker’s face is alternating numb and sore. Their 
  cheeks show tattoo markings that declare them to be a 
  convicted thief in the distant city state of Nevezia.
  White Wine and Rose
  41-
  42
  Hidden Blade
  Said to be made by a mad wizard for 
  a long dead regent who wanted to 
  give his bodyguards an edge. The 
  mad wizard took that literally (and 
  made a passable bottle of fizz at the 
  same time).
  Bestows a razor sharp tongue on the drinker: the end 
  of the tongue is now sharp enough to cut flesh (about 
  an inch and a half of the tip). Every time the drinker 
  speaks there is a 3% chance that they will cut their 
  mouth (DM’s choice of what that might mean). Effects 
  last 7+d6 days.
  43-
  44
  32 Daye 
  Month
  Only made once every fifteen years 
  during the leap day festivities. Very 
  yellow in colour.
  If more than half a bottle is consumed, drinker will 
  sleep for a day afterwards, wake with a debilitating 
  headache and regain 1+d4 HP. Tongue is yellow for 
  2d12 months.
  45-
  46
  Poisoned Pen
  A witty, catty bouquet. Clear with 
  slight bubbles.
  A pinch behind the eyes of the drinker. For a day 
  afterwards, every time they meet someone new they 
  do not hear the person’s name, they hear a humorous 
  version of that person’s name, or something based on 
  their appearance.
  47-
  48
  Generous 
  Uncle
  The only wine produced by Uncle 
  Simeon’s Finery. In recent years the 
  quality has gone down a little (ever 
  since he started watering down the 
  wine to increase profits).
  Whenever the drinker is in a fight-or-flight situation, 
  save versus magic, or vomit up a bottle’s worth of 
  Generous Uncle. If this happens more than twice a 
  day, each successive time will inflict 1HP of damage. 
  Effects last d8 weeks.
  49-
  50
  Chateau 
  Bermian
  The Bermian Estate is said to be 
  located over an ancient mass grave 
  of pre-humans. Still, they produce a 
  very fine sparkling wine.
  The drinker awakes to find that their hands have 
  switched arms in the night.
  51-
  52
  Corusco ‘93
  A very good year. Oak-barrelled 
  after an exceptional harvest.
  The drinker can now accurately understand the 
  intentions of the first species of animal they see while 
  hungover (persistent headache until animal is seen). 
  Effect lasts until the next solstice. Note that this is not 
  true telepathy. Large groups of the species may provide 
  overwhelming brain dumps of insight.
  53-
  54
  Corusco ‘92
  A passable vintage. A lot of rain 
  during the summer really diluted 
  the grapes.
  The drinker believes they can now accurately hear 
  the thoughts of the first species of animal seen whilst 
  hungover (persistent headache until animal is seen). 
  Effect lasts until the next solstice. Effect is not real – 
  the drinker cannot actually hear thoughts, these are 
  delusions. Perhaps the drinker can be convinced that 
  they are delusions, but they will still hear the voices.
   D100 Fantasy Alcoholic Drinks by Nathan Ryder
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  55-
  56
  Castle 
  Campbell 
  Rose ‘45
  Sure, the ‘46 or ‘47 are much 
  better vintages – and no one 
  reports strange side effects or weird 
  hangovers – but who can afford 
  them? The ‘45 is smooth and fruity.
  The drinker’s head is fuzzy and their tongue feels half 
  a size too big for their head. For the next 24 hours 
  any lie they tell will be believed as truth, unless it 
  contradicts another lie they already told.
  57-
  58
  Carreg Mor
  The Carreg tribes have been 
  fermenting this wine for thousands 
  of years, harvesting the grapes 
  from wild vines, crushing them by 
  hand and foot, blowing the glass for 
  the bottles. It’s taken a very long 
  process of iteration, but the wine is 
  ready and very passable.
  The drinker has a terrible stretching sensation in their 
  left hand when they wake up. They have developed 
  an extra knuckle for every finger on the hand. This 
  may provide an advantage gripping things in some 
  situations, but the change is very noticeable and may 
  raise eyebrows (and questions).
  59-
  60
  Denvian Rose
  The city of Denv passed into 
  legend many centuries ago. All 
  that remains is the great libraries 
  of the vineyard, where master 
  winemakers would deposit samples 
  and descriptions of processes for 
  making great wines. Denvian Rose is 
  the first resurrected wine of the lost 
  city.
  An absolutely pounding headache greets the drinker 
  the morning after the night before. A blood red eye has 
  opened on their forehead, and stares disinterestedly 
  at most of the world. Roll d6. The drinker now sees a 
  reddish-pink aura around: 1. Royalty. 2. Locks that are 
  locked. 3. Immortals. 4. Poison. 5. Cheese. 6. Friendly 
  dogs.
  Shots and Spirits
  61-
  62
  Lover’s 
  Courage
  Traditional alcoholic 
  herbal remedy, used to 
  inspire pluck. Sweet, 
  but sadly doesn’t work 
  all too well.
  For one week after drinking, any time the drinker tries to talk 
  to any person who they have any attraction to, they will feel 
  butterflies in their stomach. Save versus magic, or they cough up 
  2d10 small shiny butterflies which will swarm the other person.
  63-
  64
  Superstition
  A treacly black 
  fermentation injected 
  into freshly laid eggs. 
  Two days later, cracked 
  and beaten, and served 
  in a shallow bowl. 
  Supposedly a good luck 
  charm.
  A pinching sensation between the eyes for 6d8 hours. For all this 
  time, any “bad luck” superstitions will have a real effect on the 
  drinker if encountered.
  65-
  66
  Thin Syrup
  Distilled from honey, 
  clear in colour and 
  comes out of the bottle 
  with a slow, steady 
  pour.
  Not much of a headache, maybe a slight parched feeling and a 
  strange sticky sweat – that attracts 100+d100 regular bees after d6 
  hours and every d8 hours after that. Sweat is difficult to wash off, 
  but passes naturally after four days.
  67-
  68
  Seven-hued 
  Sluglet
  Technically a cocktail, 
  but due to the serving 
  size, considered by 
  most to be a shot. Seven 
  slivers of coloured 
  only-just-liquid jelly 
  in a glass. Goes down 
  smoothly. Very few 
  people know what’s in 
  it.
  Seven suspensions of the same alcohol with coloured dye, the only 
  real difference is the parasite in each sliver, each of a different 
  species. Effect of shot depends on which one survives. When the 
  drinker awakes roll d8: 1. Unable to sleep for 1+d3 days. 2. All 
  body hair falls out. 3. d8 teeth fall out, sprout little legs and scuttle 
  away. 4. Nothing... Until little beetles start pouring out of ears d4 
  days later. 5. Skin turns to the colour of the sky on a stormy day. 
  Permanent change. 6. Profound halitosis. 7. Slight haemophilia – 
  wounds suffered do extra HP of damage 80% of the time. 8. Roll 
  twice as two parasites survive.
  69-
  70
  Better Nature
  Blood red with gold 
  and purple sediments 
  that dissolve on the 
  tongue with a sharp 
  aniseed flavour. An 
  acquired taste.
  The drinker wakes and feels very stiff around their joints. The 
  sediments in the spirit harden bone, reducing mobility by a DEX 
  point for every three shots consumed (rounded up). They also make 
  someone tougher to hurt: attackers’ weapons hit a dice size smaller 
  than normal.
   D100 Fantasy Alcoholic Drinks by Nathan Ryder
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  71-
  72
  Last 
  Standing
  A green spirit that 
  is overwhelmingly 
  peachy.
  A mild pulse between the eyes is the first pain the drinker feels. 
  The second, as they stand, is the wrenching agony as their knees 
  bend freely backwards. If their legs are braced or splinted straight 
  for a week there is a 60% chance that they will recover. Otherwise, 
  they will need to keep their legs straight for another week.
  73-
  74
  Dormouse 
  Rum
  Extremely strong. 
  Fifty years ago was 
  used as anaesthetic and 
  preserving fluid.
  The drinker experiences a persistent pain at the base of the spine 
  for a day and a night afterwards. Every other day for the next 
  month, drinker must save versus magic at noon: if roll fails, within 
  an hour a normal-sized mousetail has sprouted just above their 
  buttocks. Cutting off a tail results in two more growing back on the 
  drinker’s forearms.
  75-
  76
  Frozen Sun
  Chilled peppery shots 
  in reinforced glass 
  cylinders. Difficult to 
  obtain, mainly due to 
  the high cost of the 
  glass containers.
  The drinker now has a profound fear of the dark, and will not 
  willingly enter any area without adequate lighting.
  77-
  78
  Ettergivende
  A dark whiskey that 
  burns as you drink it, 
  but leaves you wanting 
  more.
  There is a sparkle in the drinker’s eye and in their heart. Whenever 
  they see gold or silver on a surface (but not actively being held by 
  someone or known to be in a container) they must make a save 
  versus magic or feel compelled to take the precious stuff. However, 
  whenever encountering a beggar or street child they must make 
  a save versus magic with a penalty of -2: if they fail the save they 
  will be compelled to give all of their treasure to the poor person. 
  Effects last until they have given away items or coin worth a total 
  of 5000 of the local currency.
  79-
  80
  Hungry 
  Tiger
  Similar to vodka. 
  A measure is a very 
  small amount, but that 
  does not stop most 
  people from drinking 
  larger quantities. 
  The warning label is 
  written in a script and 
  style that is incoherent 
  until you are drunk.
  The drinker is gradually wakened with only a slight buzzing head 
  to the sensation of their fingers and toes clicking. Roll 2d4. This 
  is the number of fingers and toes that have swapped places in the 
  night (an observer would see them wriggling and crawling like 
  worms or insects). Toes go to hands and fingers go to feet. Every 
  night, when the drinker sleeps, one pair swap back to their original 
  positions.
  Cocktails
  81-
  82
  Purple Moon
  Served with three 
  straws in a litre 
  goldfish bowl, a 
  combination of 
  four vodkas and 
  three purple flower 
  extracts combine 
  to create a swirling 
  purple sphere of 
  liquid.
  If the full cocktail is consumed by one person within the space of 
  two hours, they will immediately fall into a coma for a day and a 
  night. They will wake with eyes that are 20% larger, giving slightly 
  better night vision, and of course their eyes will now be permanently 
  swirling purple clouds. DM’s discretion as to whether or not this has 
  any effect on CHA.
  If the cocktail is not consumed in that time, the drinker will wake the 
  next morning with a disturbed stomach and see the world in shades of 
  purple for 2d4 days.
  83-
  84
  Bishop’s 
  Tea-cosy
  A measure of holy 
  water and two of 
  consecrated wine, 
  plus a secret spirit. 
  Historically served 
  in broken holy 
  water bottles that 
  have been used in 
  exorcisms.
  A recurring throbbing at the back of the head every morning for 3d8 
  days, that only fades for 12+d6 hours after praying to the god whose 
  temple or church was closest at the time of inebriation.
   D100 Fantasy Alcoholic Drinks by Nathan Ryder
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  85-
  86
  Six of One
  A potent mix of 
  alcohol and herbal 
  poisons, blended 
  slowly and served 
  in six thimble-sized 
  glasses.
  The amount of alcohol in the cocktail holds off the awful, but tasty, 
  poisons. All six shots need to be taken. For each shot not consumed, 
  there is a 40% chance that the drinker will lose a point of CON as the 
  poison grips various parts of their anatomy. Each point lost takes d3 
  days to recover.
  87-
  88
  Bony 
  Handshake
  Has to be mixed in 
  a graveyard under a 
  full moon. Delivers 
  a feeling of euphoria.
  A banging headache is the least of the drinker’s worries. On waking 
  one of their hands will be curled into a claw. The effect lasts until the 
  next full moon. 20% chance that it is their favoured hand.
  89-
  90
  Dutch 
  Painter
  Vibrant dots of 
  colour dance in a 
  swirling glass of 
  beautiful night time.
  The drinker wakes the next morning with an intense pain on one side 
  of their head. As they sit up, they realise that they are bleeding – one 
  of their ears is gone and they are deaf. 80% chance that they lose a 
  point of CHA – and 60% chance that they see their ear trying to run 
  away on little legs, looking for a route to run to the Duchess of Ears.
  91-
  92
  Warty 
  Rooster
  Gravelberries are 
  stirred through 
  vodka, cranberry 
  juice and the yolk 
  of a day old egg. A 
  very, very old recipe.
  A slight pressure behind the drinker’s eyes. They are now attracted 
  to the person in the party (PC or NPC) with the lowest CHA and 
  are blind to any typical barriers of gender, race or class. They are 
  the apple of their eye, their life, their song, their everything. This 
  attraction will persist until either a severe blow to the head or they 
  propose marriage. If the PC or NPC dies while the drinker suffers 
  from this attraction they will love them forever.
  93-
  94
  Horny Old 
  Drunkard
  A mix of ice, spirits 
  and apple cider, 
  served in a carved 
  ram’s horn.
  A crown of 3d4 horns erupts around the drinker’s head. Each horn 
  grows half an inch per day. They are the same colour as the player’s 
  natural hair colour.
  95-
  96
  Impossible 
  Space Thing
  Heinrich Brant 
  swears the recipe 
  came to him during 
  a vision of a creature 
  from beyond 
  spacetime. Served 
  in a pitcher with 
  four glasses, three 
  umbrellas and no 
  refunds.
  A random sixth level spell is scarred into the brain of the drinker. 
  If cast it effects as if cast by a 15th level magic user and is lost. d4 
  hours after casting, drinker must save versus magic or be possessed 
  by a non-linear intelligence trying to breaking into our reality (see 
  below). As long as the spell remains in the drinker’s head, every night 
  the intelligence tries to take possession of the drinker. Roll d20: 
  on a 1, the spell is lost and the intelligence has lost its window. On 
  a 19 or 20, the intelligence possesses the drinker. The intelligence 
  will puppet them for 3d8 hours, causing mayhem and trouble in the 
  drinker’s name. It then realises that ours is a small and crappy reality 
  and withdraws, leaving the drinker to deal with the fallout.
  97-
  98
  Really 
  Bloody Mary
  Vodka, tomato juice, 
  pig’s blood and 
  “salt”.
  If made with salt, this drink is just a bit gross, but surprisingly tasty. 
  If made with “salt” then every night the drinker must make a save 
  versus magic or feel compelled to drink the blood of a living, thinking 
  person (minimum one litre/two pints). If they do, the thirst is satisfied 
  for another night and they recover d6 HP. If they don’t, they lose a 
  point of CON and spend the day with a serious migraine. The correct 
  holy rites will remove this affliction.
  99-
  00
  Unknown 
  Quadruped
  Taste it. Go on. 
  Taste it. Can you 
  name the four 
  ingredients? The 
  first person to do so 
  drinks for free at the 
  Spiteful Mistress in 
  Wetham for life.
  Every night at sunset, the drinker gets a sharp headache that only 
  lasts a moment. Drinker rolls d20: if the result is greater than or 
  equal to their INT they are fine, the headache fades. If less then 
  they shapeshift (which takes two minutes). The resulting form is a 
  quadrupedal beast. They remain intelligent and can even talk after 
  a fashion. The beast is a new thing in the world, unseen before. The 
  drinker will revert back at midnight. Each shapeshifting incident 
  produces a different form. (DMs, be inventive!)
   D100 Fantasy Alcoholic Drinks by Nathan Ryder
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  20 Dubious Alchemies
  By Jeremy Murphy
  kootenaymurph@gmail.com
  http://kootenaygamer.blogspot.ca/
  1. Distillate of Nacre-Pearl.
          “Acquiring nacre-pearls is not, itself, the 
  challenge.  Properly focussed lenses, a cloudless night, 
  and ether of submlimation is sufficient for that task.  No, 
  the real difficulty is managing to distill and contain 
  their aetherial ooze, since the stuff is both caustic and 
  mutagenic - oh, and it’s invisible, too. But properly 
  prepared, it is useful for all manner of transformative 
  applications.  Don’t drink it.”
          Collected Lectures- Johannes Greymark
  2. Gnomonic Differential Engine.
          “A twisted little thing of brass and iron and wire, 
  emitting an odd, teeth-grating humming sound.  The 
  diggers found it in a lead box underneath the foundation 
  of the Temple of Aspurugal, had one look and took to 
  their heels.  We literally had to coax them out of the 
  trees, and it was days before they were willing to start 
  work at the site again.  Still, for all the trouble it caused, 
  the thing is dashed useful.  So far we’ve determined that 
  it is capable of calculating dimensional and temporal 
  variances to a much higher degree of accuracy than 
  our previous methods.  The nosebleeds are, frankly, a 
  small price to pay, and I’m confident that we’re close to 
  figuring out exactly where or when Frobisher ended up.”
                  Letters to Magister Samrich - Calumn Enton - 
  Imperial Expedition to the Barrier Range
  3. Refined Chralcite
          “The adverse effects of raw chralcite on humanoid 
  anatomy are well-documented.  Duergar have used the 
  powdered ore as a poison for several thousand years, as 
  they seem to have more resistance to the uncontrolled 
  bone and tissue growth that normally results from 
  exposure.  Through the expenditure of several thousand 
  slaves, we’ve been able to formulate a process for refining 
  raw chralcite into a purer, more concentrated form.  
  Most of the work is done using golems, but several stages 
  seem to require living creatures - we’re not exactly sure 
  why that is.”
                  Operations Summary - Xhios Terrvanter - 
  Drow Mining Operations Overseer.
  4. Protoplasmid ooze
          “Many of the larger oozes, slimes and jellies 
  which can be found in the dungeon or subterranean 
  environment appear to owe their existence to specific 
  types of underworld “emanations” or “radiations”.  
  Exposing living humanoid fetal material to these 
  radiations has generated a variety of interesting results, 
  although it has proven universally fatal to the maternal 
  host.  Protoplasmid ooze, particularly, has an alarming 
  degree of sentience, which seems to extend to the entire 
  sample, regardless of how many times it is divided, and 
  the distance between the components.  Possible further 
  research into its application in telepathy, clairvoyance 
  and trans-substantiation is required.”
                  Research Journal #126 - Halaster
  5. Tendril-Moss
          “The presence of Tendril-Moss is considered by 
  many to be one of the best indicators of dimensional 
  “thinning” or Far Realm contamination.  Growing in 
  a thick mat which extends outward in circular patterns, 
  it appears in a variety of colors.  In all cases, it is 
  composed of thousands of tiny, writhing tendrils or 
  tentacles.  The tendrils to attach themselves to whatever 
  comes in contact with them, and the effects seem to 
  vary depending on the size and color of the particular 
  patch.  In any case, the effects are rarely beneficial, 
  and occasionally spectacularly fatal.  Tendril-moss 
  rarely lives for very long if removed from the area where 
  it grows, but it can be used to considerable effect as a 
  component in spells or potions related to teleportation 
  or planar travel.”
                  Uncommon Alchemies - Verrin Garth
  6. White-Bone Amulets
          “Troops returning from the abortive expedition 
  reported taking huge losses from single attackers, 
  unclad save for singular amulets.  According to them, 
  the wearers of the amulets could only be killed by 
  total destruction of their bodies, often by magi.  We 
  have managed to acquire one of these so-called White-
  Bone Amulets via our contacts in the Imperial College 
  of Esoteric Studies.  It appears to be formed from a 
  single piece of smooth white material, like bone but 
  considerably harder, and twisted into a shape which has 
  been described as “disturbing” by most viewers.”
  Unfinished letter recovered from the ruins of the 
  Consortium compound following the “White-Bone 
  Massacre”.
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  ...a list of odd, bizarre, otherworldly, disturbing, 
  weird, esoteric, eldritch and perhaps mundane but 
  curious components (creature parts, plant parts, strange 
  minerals, objects craft to extreme specifications, 
  strange powders, oils, salves, etc.) for casting powerful 
  spells, conducting rituals, creating magical artifacts 
  and ripping open the fabric of reality in general.
  Thanks, 
   
   
  M. P.
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  7. Tenebrian Eye
  “It SEES me.  Anywhere I go in the tower.  Anywhere 
  in the WORLD.  It won’t stop staring.  I did what the 
  whispers said.  I made the crystal sphere.  I invited the 
  darkness into it.  I sang the songs and fed it fresh eyes.  
  I did what it WANTED.  Why won’t it stop staring?  
  WHAT DOES IT SEEEEEEE….”
          Transcript of the interrogation of Gorrath Mektar, 
  perpetrator of the Occlusion.
  8. Malentropic Cube
          “Entropy is a simple concept.  It is the tendency of 
  chaos or noise to increase in any system.  Malentropy is a 
  bit trickier.  While entropy sometimes SEEMS to be an 
  adversarial force, malentropy actually IS.  Fortunately, 
  we have the Malentropic Cube, which allows us to 
  capture the malentropy within a specific area in 
  preparation for a major working, substantially reducing 
  the possibility of catastrophic results.  Of course, the 
  malentropy eventually works it’s way out of the multi-
  dimensional refraction that the Cube creates.  This 
  makes it essential that the cube be disposed of quickly, 
  usually via a short-duration dimensio-temporal rift… 
  What’s that?  Where does the rift lead?  I hardly see how 
  that matters.”
          Lectures on the Greater Workings - Primarch 
  Eathofel Encardionel
  9. Ghaxian Spawn
          “Ghaxii are most commonly encountered in areas 
  of high necrotic contamination.  Whether they are 
  undead or highly corrupted living creatures is unclear, 
  but they often pose a significant hazard to exploration 
  and research of these areas, and are very resistant to 
  standard methods of necromantic control.  To mitigate 
  this danger, I have developed a modified rot grub 
  which attaches itself to Ghaxii, rendering them more 
  vulnerable to necromantic manipulation.  Further 
  experimentation has proven that the effects of Ghaxian 
  spawn can be extended to both living creatures and most 
  corporeal undead.  It does effect something of a time 
  limit, though, as the reproduction rate of Ghaxian spawn 
  is somewhat… alarming.”
          On the Ghaxii - Mannimarco - King of Worms
  10. Thaumaturgic chiaroscuro
          “A daub here and a daub there.  Light to shadows 
  and shadows to night and soforth…  Just a bit on the 
  places that you want to be thinner, and lo, away it goes 
  and through you go.  Easy to make, too.  Just have to 
  figure out the right people to burn.  I mean things.  The 
  right things to burn.  And the fuel to use, of course.  
  That’s important too.”
          The Shadows Linger - Uhtren’s Diary
  11. Atropal Umbilicus
          “We know from the existence of the Atropal that 
  Deities have a gestational period, for lack of a better 
  term.  It follows then that there is some structure that 
  feeds them belief or power or whatever it is that sustains 
  a Deity.  This structure could then be manifested and 
  used as a power conduit, at least, metaphorically it 
  could.  Of course, in this line of work, metaphorical 
  possibilities are good enough, aren’t they?”
          Chaz’Rkath - Oneiromancer
  12. Lich Powder
          “Consider then, the lich.  Impregnated with arcane 
  and necrotic energy.  Bursting with power and useful in 
  so many applications.  And all you have to do is sweep 
  up the corners of a place that the foul thing has spent 
  time in.  Of course, some braver souls like to ah, harvest 
  directly from the source.  I prefer to use the repeated 
  application of Thunderwaves, myself, along with a 
  suitably hard surface.”
          Guignas Hagan - Zulkir of Evocation - shortly 
  before his mysterious disappearance.
  13. Chronotempal Fluid
          “Time, as they say, is fluid.  It moves at different 
  speeds during different activities, this much is evident.  
  But the application of time’s fluidity to spellcasting is 
  quite difficult.  First the time must be separated from the 
  main flow, then condensed into a storable form. This 
  is generally accomplished using very large structures 
  designed to create time-eddies where the Chronotempal 
  fluid slowly forms.  The liquid is extremely useful for 
  changing the rate of time flow.”
          Riddles of the Stone Circles - Taymon Zarth
  14. Sphere Shards
          “The glory of the crystal spheres are only matched 
  by their cold indifference to all life.  Vast, crystalline 
  deserts - lifeless and eternal.  Beautiful in a chill 
  way.  Only the most vast stellar impacts can damage 
  them, and the damage is repaired quickly.  Sometimes, 
  though, it is possible to find tiny fragments of those 
  ancient catastrophes floating in the phlogiston.  Used in 
  conjunction with spellcasting, they enhance durability 
  and duration of created items to a large extent.  They 
  also hunger for the ancient silence and cold - so 
  keeping them in close proximity can have unhealthy 
  consequences. 
          The Spheres of Magery - Captain Aemon Tarth
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  15. Goblinite
          “Goblinite is a great joke in the halls and galleries 
  of the dwarves.  Any useful material created out of trash 
  or reclaimed materials is called such, and we laugh into 
  our beer at the foolishness of our foes.  But consider.  
  True goblinite is steel forged from the weapons of the 
  fallen.  Soaked in blood and wickedness, then lifted from 
  their dead hands with their dying curses still echoing 
  upon it, to be reforged in fire.  There is power there. 
  Power and darkest wickedness both.”
          Strike the Earth - Rigoth Ishalath of Boatmurdered
  16. Terror-leaves
          “The plants grow in the deepest reaches of the 
  forest, where light does not pass through the layers of 
  branches, leaves and vines.  They coil in the dark, black 
  limbs crawling and spines glistening with the blood of 
  anything unlucky enough to stumble across it.  You can 
  grow it if you keep it in perfect blackness, keep it warm 
  and feed it blood.  The leaves make a most effective 
  addition to spells of healing and harming, but I advise 
  against keeping it in the same room where you sleep.  
  They can be disturbingly motile on moonless nights.”
          Lessons - Maberys Darkhallow - Archdruid
  17. Slake-Larvae Powder
          “Fat, colorful caterpillars, and remarkable hard 
  to acquire.  Properly dried and powdered, they can 
  allow access to powerful visions, including the aetherial 
  and astral planes.  The powder is addictive, though, 
  and extended use alerts the parents.  Which is by any 
  measure a Very Bad Thing.”
          Wonders of The Torque - Elrubon Vinchesse
  18. Arcane Spindle
          “I don’t know exactly where it came from.  No.  I 
  don’t.  It was just Here one day.  Or maybe it was always 
  here and I just noticed it for the first time.  It’s very 
  useful, though.  Takes a spell right apart if you cast it 
  through the lenses, lets you look at all the pieces and see 
  how it’s put together.  What?  How big was it when I first 
  noticed it?  About as big as it is now.  Well, a bit smaller.  
  Actually quite a bit smaller. Likely it would have been 
  able to fit through the door, at least.”
          Recollections of Madness - Waugan Jharth
  19. Hesperian Seeds
          “The mundane appearance belies the precious 
  nature of these little beauties.  Seeds, yes.  Observe them 
  carefully.  See how perfectly symmetrical and identical 
  they are?  Precious indeed, for these are the very seeds 
  of an Apple of the Hesperides.  Yes, a Golden Apple of 
  Immortality, sadly now devoured.  But these beauties 
  remain, and properly prepared, they are essential 
  ingredients for potions to extend life.  Limited offer, 
  expires soon.  5000 golden crowns per seed.”
          The Final Sale of Corvix Relcae
  20. Dragon Teeth
          “We worked for weeks, criss-crossing the 
  Dragonspine Mountains, searching for the spot from 
  the the painting.  We finally found the valley, then 
  excavated.  After 6 days of digging, we found it - the 
  buried flank of a beast of unimaginable size.  It took days 
  more to extract a handful of the scales, then to fill the 
  hole back it.  We’ve researched the things extensively, 
  and it seems more and more likely that the legends aren’t 
  wrong, exactly, just inaccurate.  They aren’t Dragon’s 
  Teeth, they’re scales.  And I’m beginning to suspect that 
  it isn’t a Dragon, either, but perhaps something older 
  and more terrible indeed.”
          Letter to Gholad Scurze - Expedition-Master 
  Tomasz Curse
  20 Dubious Alchemies By Jeremy Murphy
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  A Good Christian’s Guide 
  to the Body Parts of 
  Abominations and their Usage
  By Pedro!
  pedro.salinas@live.ca
  If you are reading this, I, Fr. Petrus Salinger, am in 
  God’s good graces, free from the toil of the mortal 
  world. If you are reading this, you will probably be 
  living in the aforementioned world. I had made it 
  my life’s mission to be the silent sword of the Church 
  and destroy the Devil’s Minions  that encroach upon 
  humanity's peace. Upon my death, these journals are to 
  be distributed to other members of my profession so that 
  I may continue in my purpose posthumously. This is the 
  third volume of my work recounting the use of substances 
  harvested from the very monsters that try to kill us. May 
  you give life to the flock you protect and deal a swift 
  death to those beings that walk the shadows.
  Vampires
  Blood 
  -Ingestion: The blood of this accursed creature is 
  fouled by the very sin of his existence and should not be 
  consumed, for that is half of the way the devil creates 
  another of its kind. The vampire would also need 
  to drink of the human’s blood to fully consummate 
  the curse. Survivors we had rescued in the middle of 
  this process retained some attributes of the monster 
  for what has been recorded as anywhere from two to 
  eight hours. Feats of speed and acrobatics came easily, 
  healing tremendously quickly, and they could mesmerize 
  people for almost a quarter of an hour provided the 
  victim was not disturbed. They suffered some minor 
  discomfort from entering homes uninvited, the presence 
  of crucifixes, crossing running water, and of course, 
  sunlight. Dealing with one of these half breeds is as 
  simple and yet still as dangerous as dealing with a 
  normal vampire, a wooden stake to the heart or the 
  complete removal of the head with a clove of garlic in his 
  mouth. 
  -Injections: I have had the acquaintance of an Italian 
  by the name of Diopede who utilized the blood of the 
  vampire in his crusade against evil. I must assure you 
  that this is neither a path you should travel upon nor one 
  you can easily return from. He began with drinking the 
  blood ironically enough but he soon found injecting the 
  blood to be far more potent. He diffused it in pungent 
  essential oils and parfums like rosewater and garlic 
  juice to add fluidity to the clotted samples of blood he 
  collected. He was as quick as lightning and was agile 
  enough that he could run unto the ceiling. He recovered 
  from fatal wounds as quick as the monsters and I had 
  known him to be able to grow a hand back after injecting 
  what would be a deadly amount for anyone else. He 
  was able to sense the vampires he gathered the blood 
  from and any thralls the creatures had under their 
  spell. He could have near complete control over anyone 
  he mesmerized and could continue to do so as long as 
  Diopede continued to inject his concoction. His eyes 
  took a red tinge to them, his palms grew hairy, and his 
  teeth became as sharp as those of a lion. The results 
  lasted half as long as ingesting the blood and, dear lord, 
  the costs were dire. He could no longer enter homes 
  without permission, cross running water without being 
  unconscious, or even hold a crucifix. He had a strange 
  habit of counting small objects spilt to the floor. The 
  return to humanity left him in a near catatonic state for 
  a few hours especially after large doses. I lost contact 
  with Diopede after the Prague incident. I fear the worse 
  and that he’s succumb to the power of his unholy elixirs. 
  Who knows who will be hunting whom the next we 
  meet.
  -Salve: I have a horrendous scar about the left of my 
  neck that has me wearing scarves to this day. I had 
  received it in a confrontation against a very old vampire 
  named Barrowman while hunting one of his fledgling 
  vampires. In desperation, I had rubbed some of his blood 
  on my wound to try and take advantage of its healing 
  properties. The wound closed but to my dismay, it linked 
  me forever the monster who fled the fight in my stricken 
  condition. What I took as the natural ache of having 
  your throat torn out was, in fact, the ache of longing 
  from my new stolen flesh. The scar sang whenever I was 
  close to Barrowman while pursuing him through Kiev 
  and I felt lesser pangs from every other vampire I had 
  encountered through the years. I never saw Barrowman 
  again but felt his presence again in Paris of all places 
  some 15 years later. My throat is almost always cold.
  Teeth
  -Implantation: It has been observed that the wounds 
  that are inflicted by the teeth of a vampire unto another 
  seem to heal at a substantially lower pace than the 
  devilish norm. A doctor at Oxford had once conducted 
  an experiment which involved implanting the teeth of 
  a vampire into a dog in hopes of creating some sort of 
  vampire hunting hound. After a short recovery period, 
  he ran some diagnostic tests. It did not seem to be 
  affected by any of the curses that vampire suffered but 
  its bloodlust was insatiable. May be a man could control 
  his urges better but I am glad the doctor did not try. 
  The dog eventually got loose and killed the son of the 
  doctor, who in turn killed the dog and then himself. An 
  ordinary rifle shot worked for the both of them. 
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A table of Victorian horror monster (vampires, were-
  wolves, mummies, what have you) harvestable parts, their 
  uses/preparation, and their side effects when ingested, 
  injected, or implanted.
  Thanks, 
   
  R. L.
  A Good Christian’s Guide to the Body Parts of Abominations and their Usage By Pedro!
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  -Ammunition: The only righteous way of utilizing 
  substances wrought from vampires. Whether used as 
  rounds for a pistol or broken up into musket shot, the 
  ability of the tooth to negate the vampire’s healing 
  capabilities makes it a formidable weapon against them.
  Werewolves
  Blood 
  -Ingestion: Almost all of my knowledge of werewolves 
  comes from my only trip to Lapland. There I stayed 
  with an elderly Swede named Hellstrom while I 
  conducted my research of the forest women known as 
  the Huldra. He lived in a remote cabin in the northmost 
  region of the country but he appeared to run a fairly 
  popular sort of fantastical apothecary out of his home. I 
  was told by our mutual contact that he was an ally of the 
  cause but to this day I am uncertain. One of the wares 
  Hellstrom tried to sell me incessantly was werewolf 
  blood. He claimed that if consumed, it gave a man an 
  incredible hunger for meat, the rarer the better. He 
  claimed that it prevented women from getting pregnant. 
  Hellstrom claimed a great many things but I had the 
  feeling that he was merely trying to tempt me. On one 
  of the last days there, he told me that it was a great 
  aphrodisiac and gave me a peculiar look. I spent the rest 
  of the trip locked in my room.
  -Injection: Before Hellstrom’s unwanted sexual 
  advances, I had remembered my old colleague Diopede 
  and inquired about the injection of werewolf’s blood. 
  The smile that was usually painted on his face instantly 
  disappeared and was replaced with a look of sheer 
  horror. He told me that injecting the blood would be 
  like receiving a bite from the werewolf himself. He 
  described a man doing so and turning into a monstrously 
  sized wolf. He said there was little or no control to be 
  had, that the man would be ruled by his animalistic 
  instincts. It would only work during full moons, so there 
  was that to be thankful for. I asked of how he knew 
  such things but he grew ever quieter. When I left the 
  following week, I could have sworn I heard howling in 
  the distance.
  Pelt 
  There is a page from the journal of a 17th century abbot 
  who is said to have resided on the outskirts of Sligo. 
  The journal entry described a man known to him as 
  Callahan, a hard man with the look of an eagle about 
  him.  It goes on to claim that he had slain a werewolf in 
  the defense of a lamb. He had taken the pelt of the wolf 
  and used it as a cloak. The abbot wrote that Callahan 
  walked amongst the wolf’s pack without too much 
  suspicion until the moment he drew his axe. This is the 
  only known record of werewolves on the British Isles.
  Revenants
  Blood 
  -Ingestion: There have been a large amount of reports 
  coming from the Congo of men being brought back from 
  the dead to wreak havoc on any European they can 
  catch. They say that these creatures have been raised 
  by witch doctors, that they have demonic strength and 
  suffer no fatigue. Hunters like myself have been sent to 
  deal with these revenants and the witches themselves but 
  deep in the heart of the African jungle, they say it is like 
  pursuing ghosts. A few of my allies have turned mad in 
  their efforts and some have tried to consume the blood 
  and flesh of the dead me. Drinking their blood leaves the 
  hunter in an unconscious state for several hours with no 
  hope of waking them. One hunter tried drinking a near 
  gallon of the extract and appeared to fall dead instantly. 
  His expedition crew only discovered otherwise when he 
  awoke three days later during his own funeral. Of course 
  being dead man’s blood, it was the actual benefit of being 
  a deadly poison to vampires.
  Limbs 
  -Implantation: A man by the name of Sunday lost 
  his arm in a struggle against one of these creatures. 
  According to rumors, he quite literally singlehandedly 
  defeated both the revenant and the witch doctor. He 
  somehow managed to “convince” the witch doctor into 
  replacing the arm he lost with that of the dead man’s. 
  He could use the strength of the revenant though his 
  hand did try to strangle him from time to time. Others 
  have tried to replicate his success and some have even 
  succeeded. Even a good number of the successful met 
  with the rot spreading from their stolen limbs and 
  into their body, eventually turning them into walking 
  corpses.
  Golems
  Blood 
  -Injection: After the unliving has been made into flesh, 
  it creates within in itself a strange black liquid that 
  could only be classified as it’s blood. After the infamous 
  works of the Maharal, Prague has been a city afflicted 
  with attempts to create life from nothing. Diopede and 
  I were dispatched there to deal with a quite frequent 
  number of doppelgangers in the area when we stumbled 
  upon Tucker’s workshop. Tucker was twisted man, 
  obsessed with the pseudo-science of alchemy and twisting 
  the Holy Scripture to aid him in creating golems. We 
  apprehended him but not before he had convinced 
  Diopede to swallow the murkish black water that Tucker 
  had been draining out of what appeared to be a naked 
  dog. As he wiped his mouth, he began to cough and 
  shake. He spit out his teeth and began to shed his flesh 
  and hair. Where Diopede stood was now a young woman 
  in awe of her new form. Tucker went on to explain to 
  Diopede that it would only last for a day and he could 
  transform into anyone he wanted. I managed to get 
  Tucker to swallow some revenants blood but by then it 
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  was too late. I saw the look in Diopede’s eyes. I knew he 
  would never be the same.
  Seal 
  Seal:  The Maharal’s golem was famously controlled 
  by feeding it instructions on paper but it’s a little known 
  fact that it only obeyed instructions with the Maharal’s 
  seal. The same can be said of most golems you will 
  encounter. Most golems will not have to swallow its 
  instructions and most will simply have its creator’s seal 
  somewhere on their body. Simply placing your hand 
  over said seal will give you control over the soulless 
  automaton but be warned. Golems are often quite literal 
  in following your instructions and once given orders, it 
  is nigh impossible to stop them.
  Devils
  Blood 
  -Ingestion: Devils, bound by the power of god, cannot 
  take foot on the earth but have been known to sneak into 
  the bodies of vulnerable innocents. Exorcism by a high 
  ranking priest is the only way to save the lives of these 
  victims. Unfortunately, most have to be killed to prevent 
  the demon from causing any further harm in this plane. 
  The blood of these victims is said to give the drinker 
  the stealth of a shadow. Nigh invisible, the drinker 
  would become fuelled by rage and cruelty, though the 
  effects only lasted for a few hours. I have thankfully 
  never come into contact with any of these addicts and 
  hopefully never will.
  Horns 
  -Implantation:  In Liepzig, a man named Solomon 
  met with a devil at a crossroads. The devil identified 
  himself as Solace and had long feathered horns growing 
  from his forehead. Solomon had committed a number 
  of terrible acts to bring that devil forth with only pain 
  and desperation to show for it. The man was dying and 
  sought eternal life, and Solace promised him this in 
  exchange for only his name. With the vow leaving his 
  lips, Solomon sprouted his own set of horns and as black 
  wings spread from his back. In shock, the man asked 
  what was happening. Solace replied in Solomon’s own 
  voice that it was exactly as he wished. The latter would 
  live forever as a demon and the former, now Solomon, 
  would live out the remainder of his life and return to 
  heaven. When the new Solace looked up, the face he 
  once knew as his own smiled back at him. This is a 
  tale I first heard when visiting the German branch as a 
  warning never to take on the horns of a devil. It is said 
  that the Nachtwachter had exorcized Solace back to hell 
  afterwards. They never clarified which one.  
  Phantoms
  Blood 
  -Salve: Ghosts were generally not a problem that 
  hunters had to take care of. Most were benign enough 
  to not require our intervention, and some were even of 
  benefit to our struggle. It was only the truly malevolent 
  spirits that we dealt with.  When a violent ghost haunted 
  a house or a person, they left behind an extremely cold, 
  cloudy fluid which we could only assume was their blood. 
  This ghostblood is truly the only physical evidence we 
  have of the possession after the ghost has been exorcised. 
  Mediums who work for the Church generally use it a 
  salve which they apply to their eyelids and forehead. 
  While closing their eyes, they said that they could see 
  the phantoms walk the earth as if still living. Not only 
  ghosts but demons as well, though they only caught 
  glimpses of these rare intruders in our realm.
  Possession 
  Usage: Before my retirement, I was asked to visit the 
  city of New York by a fellow priest named Ingwood. It 
  was in a small cabin leagues outside of the city that a 
  young girl named Kate Manser lived by herself. Though 
  she was only 8 years old, she was taking care of the 
  farm perfectly fine by herself. When I inquired about 
  her parents, she gestured to the empty space around 
  her and told me that they were there with us and that 
  she helped them with the chores. I was questioning 
  how they went about these chorse when a teapot, as if 
  held by some invisible hand, poured a fresh cup for me. 
  With that seemingly answered, I went on to ask why her 
  parents attacked my friends that came to visit her before. 
  She told me that the man had tried to her hurt her so 
  her mother hurt the man. Manser seemed happy with 
  her new life so I decided to leave things as they were. 
  The effects of possession are entirely dependent on the 
  relationship between the phantom and its host. There 
  have been cases of increased strength, minor telekinesis, 
  voice changing, pyrokinesis, and countless others. The 
  host themselves do not even need to be possessed. One 
  can merely own a haunted item and if they get along 
  well enough, the spirit may aid the human. These items 
  are particularly rare and often cost an arm and a leg to 
  acquire, as Ingwood had found out the hard way.
  Witches
  Eye 
  -Implantation: There is a group of women in Lisbon 
  known as the Orbus Clementia. When a hunter hears 
  of a witch in their territory, these are the hunters they 
  send for. The initiation ritual for an agent of the Orbus 
  Clementia is to defeat a witch and take her left eye as her 
  own. This is no small feat by itself, and the dangerous 
  surgery that follows is only a little less deadly. If the 
  candidate survives both obstacles then she is welcomed 
  into the group, regardless of race, age, or status. The 
  eye gives them the ability to read and cast the spells 
  that witches can without giving themselves to the Devil. 
  It is said that eye of a witch can even see the sins n 
  individual has committed, appearing like stains upon 
  the person’s soul. Often such sights drive newer agents 
  mad and many wear patches to prevent any unnecessary 
  use. Orbus agents have supposedly been around since the 
  inquisition, when their power to recognize true witches 
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  was at its utmost demand. The only Orbus agent I’ve 
  met was an older woman named Cuelho. She had taken 
  a look at me and stated that for a hunter I must have lead 
  an extremely boring life.
  Spell book 
  Usage: A witch’s spell book is her most prized possession 
  and most would rather die than let it fall into the wrong 
  hands. Spell books were often distributed sparingly 
  among Orbus agents, but not merely due to lack - the 
  sorcery found in the books would have immensely 
  adverse affects on the users. Presumably this was due to 
  the blasphemous nature of the magic. They caused the 
  reader to grow in age tremendously after every spell 
  cast, and not particularly graceful at that. Young women 
  were turned into witches if they misused their powers 
  and the Orbus Clementia had no mercy for any corrupted 
  heart.  
  The Fey
  Blood 
  Ingestion: The two most infuriatingly single-minded 
  men I have ever met, probably through no small 
  coincidence, were both magicians. Gilberts and Nathans, 
  both powerful enough to eviscerate me with a glance, 
  met with me every time I was in Hurtfew. We discussed 
  a great many a thing on our drink filled nights spent in 
  the Eternal Twilight Inn; the prospect of an afterlife, 
  the odd nature of rakshasas plaguing southern Persia, 
  our waitress’ bosom, matters of grave importance. One 
  of the longest arguments I’ve seen them have is about 
  fairy blood. Nathans insisted that drinking the blood of 
  a member of the Unseelie Court was bound to bring you 
  a fey that was more likely to give you what you request 
  as long as you were polite enough by their standards. 
  Gilberts argued that drinking the blood of a Seelie 
  fey was much safer and more rewarding in the long 
  run. I once had asked if there was any price for these 
  summonings. They laughed and bought me drink. 
  Wings 
  Implantation: Visiting Gilberts’ library is like visiting 
  the Vatican. It is heart wrenchingly beautiful but if you 
  touch any of it inappropriately, you will be struck down 
  by lightning. Nissa is one of the sole reasons for the 
  library looking like it is. She swept, dusted, polished, 
  often all at once. One thing Gilbert was especially 
  thankfully for was that she could carry hundreds of 
  pounds of books to their places on the upper shelves. 
  Gilbert assures me it is not because of the nature of the 
  fairy herself but that of her delicate looking wings. He 
  recounted to me of a Golden Age magician, either Pale 
  or Stokesie, who had tricked a faerie out of his wings 
  and could lift anything not securely fastened to the 
  ground.  We proceeded to spend the entire day looking 
  for the particular passage that I was assured was entirely 
  pointless and poorly written.
  Powder:  Nathans had a young wife in Padua that, 
  because of his curse, could not visit. He sent her letters 
  daily describing his never-ending love for her, her 
  rapturous beauty, and the marvelous day that the two 
  would be united. Nerida, Nathans’ fey muse, helped him 
  find the necessary words. Bordering on debauchery, their 
  relationship was reciprocal. Nathans entertained her 
  with simple spells, and she allowed him to rub his eyes 
  with the dust from her wings. Nathans claimed they gave 
  him visions of indescribable pleasure and satisfaction. I 
  had the pleasure of observing him more than once as he 
  too his indulgence. The convulsions he went through 
  would have been the furthest thing from beauty I could 
  imagine.
  Leviathans
  Fat 
  Burning: The closest to God I have ever felt was in a 
  supposedly abandoned sunken shrine to some forgotten 
  god. I say supposedly because shortly after my guide 
  had gotten me there, I was attacked by a group of thugs. 
  This was during an expedition to the North West of 
  Iceland in search of evidence of the Arc. After taking 
  many a blow from my cane, my turn cloak guide and his 
  cohorts left me to explore the large cavern by myself. 
  At the far end of the vast shrine was a statue carved into 
  one the walls arched pillars. It depicted a whale capable 
  of swallowing a ship whole and instead of fins, a score 
  of squid-like arms! Below it, an altar that was filled 
  with what appeared to be animal fat. I gathered about a 
  pint of it and found my way out. Only after I had exited 
  the cave did I notice the true nature of the shrine. The 
  shrine was in fact the corpse of a whale, monstrous in 
  size and whose sharp teeth were taller than any man. 
  The sight was utterly awe-inspiring and I could not even 
  begin to imagine what of whale still remained trapped in 
  ice. I made a candle of that pint of fat when I returned 
  home. The flame I lit that night lasted for 6 years.
  Ingestion:  I met that same group of thugs later while 
  in Blackpool visiting my sister and the mangy crew 
  looked at me like they had seen a ghost. They believed 
  I had wondered into the bowels of the whale and had 
  gotten myself eaten. Their leader and my one time 
  guide, a Dane by the name of Holst, offered me a drink 
  and a warm meal so I found it in my heart to forgive 
  them their transgression. Holst began to regale me 
  with their stories of roaming the Atlantic in search of 
  fame and fortune. It was a couple of stories in when I 
  noticed their horrible pet parrot waddling around. The 
  thugs admitted that when they had gotten becalmed 
  out at sea near Cape Town, they had fed the parrot the 
  fat of the leviathan instead of letting it starve. It slowly 
  transformed the bird into a monstrous bird of prey with 
  a jagged beak and incredible long talons. It looked like 
  the birds skeleton had grown too large for its skin. They 
  told me that it could eat anything that it could ingest 
  and that was a fair amount of things. I’m grateful that 
  the idea of eating the fat never struck me back then.
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  Skin 
  Clothing: My nephew’s paternal grandfather used to 
  dress in an overcoat made from the skin of a giant squid 
  he killed off the coast of Massachusetts. I believe him 
  completely. I’ve watched him shrug of an assassin’s 
  bullet as easily it does rain but it did not do him much 
  good when he fell into a tiger pit in Hindoostan.
  Sinners
  Hand 
  Burning:  The hand of a sinner is more righteous in 
  death than it is in life if transformed into a Hand of 
  Glory. I came across mine in Gradec after watching a 
  thief be hanged. I paid the guards handsomely for the 
  body and gave it a proper burial he did not deserve, 
  without his left hand, of course. Lighting one of the 
  fingers aflame sheds an eerie white light that would only 
  be visible to you, a very handy attribute to have when 
  stalking those who dwell in the dark.
  Sins 
  Consumption: Through an old method of absolution, 
  priests may take the sins of others unto themselves, 
  cleansing the sinners and damning the priest in his 
  place. It is not a common practice in modern times but 
  I found myself doing so while delivering a message to 
  my commodity trader and contact, a man by the name 
  of Peregrex, in Amsterdam. I not only interrupted his 
  relations with a young woman and fellow trader, whose 
  I later learned was Eliza, but also managed to draw 
  the attention of a crowd, though I feel I could hardly 
  be blamed for the latter seeing as they were rutting in 
  the middle of a park. The angry mob did not take to 
  their promiscuity too kindly and hired The Brothers of 
  St. Drogo to assign the young couple their punishment. 
  I managed to settle the mob with the promise that I 
  was in fact a priest and would handle their punishment 
  personally. Before the mob, I ate bread that I placed 
  atop their hearts and drank wine from their cups. 
  Peregrex and Eliza confessed their sin of adultery 
  and I absolved them, taking their sin unto myself. 
  Unexpectedly, I took on Eliza’s talent for business and 
  math along with Peregrex’s talent for picking locks 
  and creating counterfeit documents. They, of course, 
  retained these skills but were quite surprised at suddenly 
  gaining a sudden colleague in their respective trades. I 
  immediately went to confession and asked for forgiveness 
  before it was too late.
  As I write these journals I sit alone in my study 
  remembering those that I had known and left behind 
  after I retired from my life as a hunter. I truly miss all 
  of those who had helped me in my quest to rid the world 
  of darkness, even some of those who would rather have 
  seen me dead. I look back upon their smiling faces, their 
  fearless eyes, and their unwavering dedication to helping 
  those around them. I look back at how they died. I hope 
  to help future generations of hunters in their trials of 
  faith. I hope that, through these works, they can protect 
  those close to them from the grasping claws of death. I 
  hope that now that I have died, I can see my brothers-at-
  arms once more.
  -Fr. Petrus Salinger
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  The Decks of Boons and 
  Banes
  By Rich Franks
  richfranksjr@gmail.com
  The Decks of Boons and Banes are comprised 
  of 4 Suits and in some cases 2 Chaos cards. 
  The Suits are represented by a standard poker deck 
  thusly:
  Life
  Hearts
  Wealth
  Diamonds
  Death
  Spade
  Shadows
  Clubs
  Chaos
  Joker
         The Decks Come in 4 varieties:
  Minor: Ace, Two, Three of each of the 4 main suits 
  Major: Jack, Queen, King of each of the 4 main suits 
  Combined: Major + Minor
  Accursed: Combined + two Jokers
  Before drawing any cards, the player must announce 
  if he is drawing 1, 2, 3, or 4 cards from the deck. Face 
  cards may only be drawn once and are set aside after the 
  effect is implemented (with one exception, see below). 
  Once all cards have been drawn, the deck disappears.
  The Cards:
  Fade to Black (Ace of Clubs):
  The character's most important/powerful magic item 
  (for this purpose, count spellbooks as a magic item) 
  begins to fade into shadow. This item will completely 
  fade from existance in 3d6 turns. The only way to 
  reverse the process is to expose the item to sunlight for 1 
  hour.
  Cloak of Shadows (Two of Clubs):
  An effect exactly like the spell Darkness 15’ radius 
  manifests on char’s head, excpet the effect is permanent, 
  until dispelled. (Caster level is considered to be 9 for this 
  purpose.)
  Creeping Death (Three of Clubs):
  The PC is attacked by 1d3 Shadows.
  Of Darkness and Light (Jack of Clubs):
  The PC’s Shadow animates and attack the PC. The 
  Animated Shadow has exactly the same characteristics as 
  the PC: AC, Weaponry, Spells, etc., with one important 
  exception: the Animated Shadow and the PC now have 
  exactly one half of the PC's maximum hit points (round 
  down). Each hit from the PC or Shadow not only does 
  damage to the target, but the attacker gains that many 
  hitpoint. When one of them is reduced to zero hitpoints, 
  the Shadow or PC die. Should the Shadow win, it will 
  become a freely thinking NPC/Monster for the DM to 
  employ as seen fit. The Animated Shadow can only hit 
  by magic weapons, and attacks from anything other 
  than the PC have no effect whatsoever on the Animated 
  Shadow.
  Shadows from Beyond (Queen of Clubs):
  A rift opens, which is a portal to the Ethereal Plane. 
  Use the random table for your game to determine what 
  steps through. If you game does not have such a table, 
  an 8 hit die elemental (randomly determine type) steps 
  through and attack the PC who drew the card.
  What Evil Lurks? (King of Clubs):
  A Minor Demon takes possession of the PC’s shadow, 
  though this is not apparent at the time. Later, when the 
  PC is asleep, the Demon will manifest and attack.
  Minor Demon Stats:
  AC: 0, HD: 8, MV: 40’/60’, # Atk: 2 (claws), 
  Dmg/Atk: 2d6/2d6
  Specials: Flying, Can see invisible, Darkness 15’ 
  radius at will, Charm, etc.. has no effect, 
  35% Magic Resistance if your system uses it.
  Alchemy (Ace of Diamonds):
  All copper coins character has on his person change to 
  silver.
  Pouch of Wealth (Two of Diamonds):
  The PC gains a small belt pouch. Once a day, a single 
  coin may be placed in this bag. After one turn, 10 coins 
  of the next lower valued metal will be appear in the 
  pouch along with the original coin. (One Silver piece 
  placed in the pouch will yield 10 Copper, while one 
  Platinum will yield 10 Gold pieces.)
  Guardian Thief (Three of Diamonds):
  The next locked and/or trapped treasure chest the 
  character encounters will automatically unlock and 
  disarm.
  Path to Wealth (Jack of Diamonds):
  The PC gains a Sigil Ring, Map, and Key. The map 
  leads to a depository in nearest major city, the Sigil Ring 
  identifies the character as heir to a small fortune of a 
  centuries dead aristocrat, and the Key opens the ancient 
  iron chest holding 4d4x1000 GP, 2d4 Pieces of Jewelry, 
  and 3d4 Gems.
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A new, crazy, deck o' cards magic item, a la the _Deck of 
  Many Things_.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  N. M.
  The Decks of Boons and Banes By Rich Franks
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  Queen of Plenty (Queen of Diamonds):
  Char gains 1d3 random magic items.
  Twice Blessed (King of Diamonds):
  1d4 of the character’s magic items double/increase to 
  next level in efficacy (Sword +2 becomes a Sword +4, 
  Potion of Healing becomes Potion of Extra Healing, 
  Wands double charges, Caster level of spells on scrolls 
  doubles, etc...)
  Unsteady Hand (Ace of Spades):
  For the next 1d4 combats, the character must roll his/
  her Dexterity score or under on 1d20 whenever he makes 
  an attack. Failure results in dropping his/her weapon.
  Sickness of the Soul (Two of Spades):
  The PC loses 1d2 hitpoints per level. These lost 
  hitpoints cannot be healed in any normal or magical 
  way, until a remove curse and a number of days equal to 
  the PC’s level of complete bedrest are administered.
   Targeted by Death (Three of Spades):
  During the Party’s next encounter with Undead, the 
  undead creatures will attack the character in preference 
  to other PCs, if possible.
  Turnabout is Fair Play (Jack of Spades):
  During the next combat, the character must make a save 
  vs. Death Magic for each attack (melee, ranged, spell, 
  or device). Failure means the character receives a like 
  amount of damage, in whatever form it takes (stabbing, 
  burning damage from a fireball, etc..)
  Vitality Leech (Queen of Spades):
  Character loses 1d6 points of Constitution, and any hit 
  point accrued due to a high con. If the new Constitution 
  score indicates a hit point penalty, the character loses 
  the appropriate number of HP per level.
  Curse of the Lich (King of Spades):
  The PC’s body starts to decay, as he/she begins to 
  transform into an undead, lich like form over the next 
  4d6 days. Once begun, the process can be delayed by 
  having a Resurrection spell cast upon the afflicted. 
  Doing so “erases” one day of the transformation. 
  The only way to reverse the curse is with a wish, or to 
  complete a service for a good aligned Diety, usually 
  by arrangement of a good aligned High Priest. During 
  the transformation, the character cannot heal in any 
  manner. Once the transformation is complete, the 
  character becomes Chaotic Evil in alignment, and the 
  lich dom is permanent.
  Shield of the Ages (Ace of Hearts):
  The PC receives a +2 AC bonus during his/her next 
  combat.
  Hale and Hardy (Two of Hearts):
  The PC receives +2 hitpoints per level for the next 24 
  hours.
  Troll’s Boon (Three of Hearts):
  The PC gains the power of regeneration (+2 HP per 
  round) for the next 24 hours.
  Circle of Life (Jack of Hearts):
  The PC gains a +2 Ring of Protection.
  Healing Touch (Queen of Hearts):
  The next attack which deals damage to the character 
  will instead temporarily add the damage to the 
  character’s hit point total. The new hit point total can 
  exceed the normal max, but they disappear once the 
  combat ends.
  Rasputin’s Envy (King of Hearts):
  Character gains 1d4 points of Constitution, to a max 
  of 19. In addition to accruing any level based hit point 
  bonuses, the character also gains a +2 to saves vs. poison 
  and death magic.
  Lester the Killer Clown 
  (Joker with Logo or Colored):
  Oh no! You’ve invoked the wrath of Lester the Killer 
  Clown. Lester has the stats and powers of a Type 4 (in 
  some systems it might be “Higher Order”, Class/Type 
  D, etc..you want the one with 11 Hit Dice), but has
  the appearance of a creepy, obese clown, with grotesque 
  makeup. Upon pulling this card, a strange horseless 
  carriage will appear, and Lester will spring forth, 
  gaining a free attack. Anyone helping fight Lester 
  will be beset with their own copy of Lester, which also 
  springs forth from the horseless carriage, and so on, and 
  so on.....
  Wheel of Fate 
  (Joker w/out Logo or in Black and White):
  Shuffle any cards pulled from the deck (except this 
  one) back in, and draw 2 more cards. This does not 
  count against (or for) your announced number that you 
  planned to pull.
  The Decks of Boons and Banes By Rich Franks
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  Magic Items for 
  Creative Re-Use
  by Robert Sjoblom
  robert.sjoblom@gmail.com
  http://0x236.blogspot.se/
  DWARVEN BREAKFAST SPOON:
  This is a wooden spoon, able to speak audibly. It usually 
  comes with a chipper personality and offers good advice 
  such as "breakfast is the most important meal of the 
  day!" and "an apple a day keeps the doctor away!" It 
  only speaks Dwarven, and thus it sounds pissed off all 
  the time (unless, of course, you know Dwarven, in which 
  case it sounds chipper and energetic).
  DOOR BELL:
  This is a cracked, old and heavy church bell. It weighs 
  around 2 tons. Upon striking it, the nearest door opens 
  up. A great way to find secret doors. Also a great way 
  to find new friends to play with, since you're basically 
  announcing to the world where you are. Immediately
  make a 2d6 Encounter roll, on a roll of 1 on either dice 
  an encounter has occured (roll on appropriate table).
  There is a chance that it splits in two with each use. 
  After each use roll 2d6, on a result lower than total 
  number of uses it splits.
  KNIFE OF WOUNDING:
  This knife constantly tells the wielder hurtful things. 
  Stuff like "oh my god, you look fat in those pants" or 
  "what kind of man are you?" and "I bet my sister's kid 
  could do more damage than that with her hands tied 
  behind her back!" and similar things. Jabs at wielder's
  parents, siblings, significant others -- nothing is beyond 
  it. There is also a lot of passive-aggressive stuff coming 
  from it.
  On the plus side it acts as a +1 weapon, and gives 
  immunity to charm and sleep effects.
  To come up with jabs easily, the following table can be 
  used (roll 1d6 and 1d8):
  Affliction (d6)
  1 Blind
  2 Crippled
  3 Lame
  4 Retarded
  5 Ugly
  6 One-legged
  Person (d8)
  1. Sister
  2. Brother
  3. Mother
  4. Father
  5. Child
  6. Beggar kid
  7. Baker's Son
  8. Seamstress's daughter
  "My blind sister could do that better than you!"
  CANVAS AND PAINT BRUSH: "DREAMSCAPE"
  When this set of canvas and paint brush is used in the 
  same room as a sleeping person, what is painted on the 
  canvas will show what the person is dreaming about. 
  However, if another paint brush than the one that 
  belongs to the set is used, what is painted is what the 
  person will dream about.
  The canvas is erased when the person wakes up.
  MARBLE
  This is a small glass marble. It weighs two tons.
  CLOAK OF INVISIBILITY AND 
  ORC DETECTION
  This rather plain, black cloak makes the wearer 
  invisible. It also glows in the presence of orcs.
  PAINTING OF DIRT WALL
  This painting, 6'x3', actually shows what's behind 
  whatever surface it is hanging or resting against.
  CHAINS OF THE THIEF
  This is a set of 4 iron chains and shackles, formerly used 
  to shackle thieves to objects such as walls, ceilings or 
  iron balls. Each chain is 10'/3m long, weighs 25lbs/12kg 
  and is attached to a metal ball.
  There is a key that fits all four shackles.
  If someone is chained to these chains, one chain for each 
  hand and foot, they become both Invisible and Silent. 
  In addition to being chained to four metal balls, that is.
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  I would like a random table of magical items that cry out to be 
  used creatively. How many entries is up to you.
  For example the bag of holding would be the classic example of 
  this sort of thing since every group has their own stories of all 
  the different uses for it they came up with. 
  General preferences:
  -A wide range of power/GP value.
  -Magic items whose intended use is wildly impractical for ad-
  venturing but that can be turned to adventuring uses through 
  the application of low cunning.
  -Magic items that involve logistical difficulties. For example 
  very large magic items that are hard to cart away or that only 
  work when moonlight is shining on them or whatever.
  But don’t let that constrain you, have fun with this...
  Thanks,  
   
  D. B.
  Magic Items for  Creative Re-Use by Robert Sjoblom
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  ELEPHANT GOLEM
  This golem works as a Horn of Blasting. It usually 
  stands in the corner. It is also very hard to talk about it, 
  and it never forgets.
  LIDDELL'S ERSATZ WORLD
  This mirror is a portal to a pocket universe of whatever 
  the mirror itself is reflecting. You can easily reach into 
  the mirror and take things shown in it out into the real 
  world, but the items in the real world will then enter the 
  pocket universe instead. Items removed from the pocket 
  universe are all reversed from the items in the real world
  in some way: real gold coins are suddenly fake gold 
  coins, a new cloak is suddenly old and frayed, a sharp 
  sword becomes dull.
  It does not reverse age in living things, but they can have 
  their alignments reversed -- Chaotic becomes Lawful, 
  Lawful becomes Chaotic. 
  Certain personality traits might also be reversed; a kind 
  person's mirror image might be nasty and spiteful, a 
  brave warrior becomes a quivering weakling. GM fiat, 
  all the way down.
  COUNTERPRODUCTIVE SACK
  This sack has an exterior volume thrice that of the 
  things stored inside it. That is, an 8 cubic feet item will 
  make the sack take up 24 cubic feet of space. There is 
  enough space for 10 cubic feet of items in the sack.
  SEEDS OF WAR
  When planted, these seeds will grow into melee weapons 
  of regular quality. What kind of weapon is random. 
  It takes 1d10 years for the seeds to grow to a useable 
  weapon, as it's only in the last year that the weapon 
  plant hardens. While they're definitely not metal, the
  weapons are as sharp and durable as steel.
  Bonsai artists pay good money for seeds like this.
  Magic Items for  Creative Re-Use by Robert Sjoblom
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  (Roll 1D8 on the arduous object descriptions below, if 
  you need something special.)
  1. KREVICKIAN VACUUM ORBS
  The Krevick Under-Hills once provided passage through 
  the largest known subterranean merchant-city, occupied 
  by nomadic Tradesmen and sedentary Albino-Folk. 
  The former residents, both permanent and of frequent 
  visitation, were always known to carry an unwelcoming 
  disposition towards Magic-Users of any kind. This 
  prejudice originated out of the Trader’s fears, regarding 
  their (not entirely without cause, mind you) tendency to 
  swindle honest sales-folk out of house and home through 
  the use of magical manipulation. 
  The item here presented was originally invented as 
  aggressive deterrents against the aforementioned 
  Magicians. They are called The Krevickian Vacuum 
  Orbs (small spheres of polished metal with pressure-
  sensitive triggers that extend near one inch from their 
  tops. To the trigger’s side protrudes a metallic nozzle 
  with a small cone at its tip). They were buried in the 
  earthen floors of the tunnels to be activated, as would 
  an explosive landmine, by unawares and unwelcomed 
  Magicians and only Magicians. The Orb was designed 
  to render a Magic-User inept through the use of a 
  permanently enchanted mechanism (the Nozzle), which 
  produces an vacuum, powerful enough to draw the 
  mystic void into its container (e.g. spells, aura, psionic-
  power,sanity,etc.). 
  Though, since their being (almost immediately) 
  outlawed, the now antiquated Vacuum Orbs were made 
  victim to countless modifications and experimental 
  abuses under the hands of crude technicians. Here are a 
  few of them.
  (Roll 1D12 to determine the Vacuum Orb’s effect)
  1
   If the device is triggered by a Magic-User, her 
  arcane abilities will take the hit, as two spells 
  (decided at random) are removed from her spell 
  list, and the magical ether is absorbed into the 
  vacuum. The two spells are hereby considered 
  inert for 1D4 days. None Magic-Users are 
  unaffected.
  2
  A banished Djinni will emanate forth from the 
  nozzle, coughing hysterically in a cloud of once-
  magical dirt and dust. He grants a ‘portion’ of 
  a wish (e.g. “I wish for an enchanted great-axe 
  whose handle is bound in the hulled flesh of a 
  Manticore’s Chest.” Except, when the asthmatic 
  Djinni grants said wish, you might get a random 
  enchantment, a normal great-axe, stripped flesh, 
  or a complete Manticore chest.) He will proceed 
  to insist on following the party throughout their 
  journey, but will not assist with any situation 
  whatsoever.
  3
  Horrifying and indiscernible sounds emit from the 
  nozzle for a minimal duration of time, but nothing 
  happens.
  4
  The individual who triggered the orb will be 
  drained of her need or want for the possession 
  of material goods. This would include treasure 
  (gems, gold, relics, etc.), objects of educational 
  value, and/or weapons and armor. This effect 
  excludes the negation of food, water and 
  medicine(s). This loss of drive towards obtaining 
  possessions will last for 1D4 days. Thus, any 
  applicable, aforementioned item will immediately 
  be relegated to another Party Member, and it will 
  always be marked with an apathetically off-putting 
  remark such as, “Here… I mean, I don’t really 
  need it. None of us do really, but I’m sure you’ll 
  make up reason to see some use in it.”
  5
  All writing in a Magic-User’s spell book is now 
  inverted and reversed for 1D6 hours. It will take 
  the individual twice as long to cast a spell if it is 
  performed via an act of silent-reading and/or the 
  spell requires the caster to outspokenly verbalize 
  a word or phrase. If the individual is not a Magic-
  User, then they simply don’t feel like talking 
  much (this fades naturally upon the quality of 
  conversation or if an encounter takes place, the 
  mental state will be forgotten entirely.)
  6
  Nothing happens, but the strong scent of sulfur 
  now looms within proximity to the party.
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  a random table of weird science-fantasy gizmos, trinkets 
  and curiosities dug out of some crummy dungeon and 
  now for sale in the bazaar.  Preferably low-power and 
  strange items that take a bit of creativity to find a use 
  for.
  Thanks,  
   
   
  F. H.
  WHAT THE HELL KIND 
  OF EXPLORATION 
  PARTY DIED DOWN 
  THERE?
  (or) LOOT IN A BAZAAR
  by WILLIAM MCKINNEE
  lofantasyjunk@gmail.com
  WHAT THE HELL KIND OF EXPLORATION PARTY DIED DOWN THERE? (or) LOOT IN A BAZAAR by WILLIAM MCKINNEE
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  7
  The voice, belonging to the individual who 
  triggered the orb, is vacuumed away, leaving her 
  speechless. Immediately following this occurrence, 
  the sounds of a pre-battle speech erupt from 
  the orb’s nozzle. They are the motivations of a 
  crazed and blood-hungry Warlord. This speech is 
  delivered in the particular vocal tonalities belong 
  to the speechless victim. There is a 10% chance 
  that this will draw a handful of very dangerous 
  creatures towards the Party, considering it to be 
  a challenge, but will otherwise force most beasts 
  back into their lairs or such.
  8
  The vacuum sucks up the object that triggered it 
  (shoe, boot, sandal, toenail, flesh, etc.).
  9
  Must be stepped on twice to trigger effect, but if 
  done so... The individual will not be capable of 
  unclenching their fists for 1D6 hours. Any object 
  still present in-hand must remain as such for the 
  duration of time rolled. Any object not present 
  in-hand will most likely fail to be utilized unless 
  gripped by some other means.
  10
  The vacuum absorbs one’s ability to reflect light 
  and color. The individual appears to others in the 
  shape of finely gradated, Chiaroscuro. They are 
  purely light and shade. This effect will last 1D4. 
  It is at the GM’s discretion as to whether or not 
  modifiers will be applied.
  11
  Vacuum begins operating slowly, with a very weak 
  suction power. It will then groan a bit before 
  shutting off completely. Do not step on the Orb’s 
  trigger again, doing so will activate the magical 
  blast-damage/effect of a now-defective, antique 
  spell. The spell is to be chosen at random. The 
  damage/effect  to be determined by the GM.
  12
  Vacuum Orb sinks deeper into the earth upon being 
  triggered. The Orb’s nozzle continues to suck at 
  an incredible rate and power, without shutting off 
  as it was designed to. The specific spot of terrain 
  belonging to the orb will proceed to dissolve 
  at high acceleration until the ground gives out 
  beneath it. Roll a saving throw versus falling in.
  II. ALCHEMICAL GUMBALL SACK(S)
  For a good while in their history, the cultures of human-
  intelligence (though, equally enjoyed by most humanoid 
  races) found trend and pleasantry in the practice of 
  employing Gastronomically-Minded Alchemists with 
  the task of imbuing Gum, obtained from various species 
  of Rubber Tree, with certain functional abilities and 
  effects. This market found itself getting progressively 
  out-of-hand, in terms of what ‘kind of use’ the Gum 
  was being manufactured to induce in its ‘chewers’ and, 
  in response to this, the public settled contently upon 
  the popular ‘fresh-breath-providing’ Gum developed 
  by Halfling Alchemists. Though, it is not uncommon 
  to find a few holding sacks of various experimental 
  Gumballs in the stranger markets. Here are some of 
  those potentially nefarious Gumball Sacks. Purchase 
  with caution and chew with caution.
  (Roll 1D8 in order to discern the Gumball Sack’s Type)
  Gumball Sack Type:
  1
  Apple-flavored, yellow balls covered in small 
  bumps that oscillate about wildly.
  2
  Without distinct flavor, taupe colored Gum 
  changes from a sphere to a cube each hour.
  3
  Big Blue Ball, may be cut into chunks with a small 
  knife to indulge effectively.
  4
  Black, Candy-Coated balls with smaller Cherry-
  flavored Gumballs in the center.
  5
  Enticingly Pink, the Gumball is filled with a bitter 
  tasting liquid.
  6
  Grey Gumballs filled with a lizard heart
  7
  Tiny, brown candied-orbs occupy the interiors of 
  these shimmering silver Gumballs.
  8
  Intensely sour Gumballs of bright-green, filled 
  with a meaty tasting ‘goo’ of the same color
  (Roll 1D8 to receive the Gumball’s Effect)
  1
  Juices imbibed from chewing the gum will result in 
  the concerned individual experiencing an oddity 
  in their regular bowel movements, for in this case, 
  they will find that they produce no results. That 
  is, shit. Though, they claim to feel the entire 
  process occur. Truth be told, this is because the 
  individual’s fecal matter is now being disposed 
  upon another dimensional-planar realm entirely. 
  If they ever manage to find, what will inevitably 
  prove to be, their own large pile of personal waste 
  then it is likely that they might also find the thing 
  that has been growing inside of it. GM’s take it 
  from here.
  WHAT THE HELL KIND OF EXPLORATION PARTY DIED DOWN THERE? (or) LOOT IN A BAZAAR by WILLIAM MCKINNEE
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  2
  This Gumball will cause the chewer to actively 
  engage in a dissociative identity for 1D10 hours.
  (Roll 1D6 to determine the identity)
  1
  A clinically depressed but expertly 
  efficient Chariot-Soldier who is in 
  desperate need of her gilded chariot with 
  spiked wheels and her loyal driving dogs.
  2
  The Mother or Father of a renowned 
  politician. The individual will believe 
  that they possess great clout in the 
  applicable justice system and will 
  behave accordingly (i.e. with a sense of 
  false-authority). They will also brag 
  incessantly about the accomplishments of 
  their child’s accomplishments and raddle 
  off numerous laws and amendments that 
  they would like to see put to paper.
  3
  A Pipe-Smoking Fortune Teller with an 
  intense disposition towards nail-biting. 
  The individual will attempt to sell off 
  their fragments of chewed cuticles at 
  high price, claiming that they will grant 
  the buyer divination abilities if digested.
  4
  A very young Battle-Born Mage with a 
  mild tooth-ache.
  5
  A Scorned and Elderly Priest who 
  belongs to a religious order that is slowly 
  becoming irrelevant. The individual is 
  hereby prone to harassing young adults 
  for their faith in the sciences and will 
  feel the spiritual obligation to pray 
  once per hour. This will not give the 
  individual divine access of any sort.
  6
  A Person Who Thinks They Know the 
  Market Value of Everything.
  3
  This Gumball will cause the chewer to become 
  Geometrically Ambiguous, dimensionally 
  shifty, making it difficult, for those viewing 
  her, to identify the individual and/or focus 
  one’s perception of three dimensional distance 
  according to the chewer. This lasts as long as the 
  gum is chewed. Any activity that would otherwise 
  suggest the gum has been removed. This is unless 
  the continuation of the gum chewing is explicitly 
  stated by the PC (e.g. eating dinner means that 
  you spit your gum out). that the gum is still being 
  chewed. 
  4
   This Gumball causes someone else’s voice, 
  residing in a random remote location, to be 
  transmitted through the chewer’s mouth. It is thus 
  impossible for the individual to communicate in 
  any relevant manner for 1D10 hours. Anything 
  being said by the chewer, for the effect’s duration, 
  will most likely be totally out of context.
  5
  This Gumball fills the chewer’s mouth with 
  harmless, pink flames.
  6
  Nothing happens.
  7
  This Gumball allows for the chewer to acquire 
  the ability to speak an extra language (Random), 
  insofar as the Gum remains in the individual’s 
  mouth.
  8
  This Gumball Sack has been embroidered with 
  the words, “Invisible Seer,” and so claims to 
  grant the chewer with the ability to see otherwise 
  invisible creatures. Though, once combat has been 
  engaged with these creatures, the individual may 
  soon realize that they are fighting a solo battle 
  with a phantasm. Though unlikely to occur, the 
  phantasm’s allegiance can be won over if the gum-
  chewing is maintained for three days and nights, 
  a curious thing will occur on the fourth day. The 
  phantasmal creature is granted autonomy within 
  physical reality and functions as an ‘animal’ 
  companion for all intents and purposes. This 
  occurs without the hallucination losing any of its 
  unperceivable, psychedelic form and may present 
  itself to 1D4 enemies per day (upon the chewer’s 
  command) and manifest itself to the opponent in 
  the same fashion that it appears to the chewer. 
  Attacks and abilities depend upon the creature 
  represented. You can spit out the Gum now.
  III. HERTZ DISCUS-GRENADE 
  All Engineers and Alchemists (regardless of their sub-
  specific practices) get bored. This object is a result of 
  this listless condition. To the eye, it is a small metal 
  disc that has been fitted with a brown-leather covering. 
  There is an attached, two-inch cylinder protruding from 
  below the disc and the leather covering. This cylinder 
  houses a mechanism that will produce a frequency from 
  between 5-9 Hertz, which is almost inaudible to the 
  Human ear (and this device’s effect only works on those 
  with average hearing.) 
  To activate the object, one must throw the discus at 
  great velocity into some form of metal surface or item. 
  The vibration that occurs upon impact will trigger the 
  Hertz Grenade, emitting the aforementioned frequencies 
  within a radius as provided by the GM. Any individual 
  of average hearing, within this radius, must make a 
  Saving Throw versus incontinence. A fail will result in 
  the individual defecating themselves as a physiological 
  response to the frequency. This will render the vender 
  confused and/or distracted for the duration of one round. 
  Penalties to Dexterity Checks thereafter should be 
  applied at the GM’s discretion.
  IV. THE MINIMALIST’S FLASK
  This flask was made with the use of mirrored glass and 
  is designed to include four different chambers, so as to 
  carry four individuated liquids, potions, poisons, etc, 
  which might otherwise prove volatile if exposed to one 
  another. As a matter of ornamental detail, an obsidian 
  WHAT THE HELL KIND OF EXPLORATION PARTY DIED DOWN THERE? (or) LOOT IN A BAZAAR by WILLIAM MCKINNEE
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  tortoise has been affixed to the flask’s front and can be 
  viewed carrying a golden vase. Within the vase are four 
  flowers. The vessel itself is in the shape of a slender 
  mead bottle, widened at the base and elegantly tapered at 
  the top. 
  The cap is sealed via an air-tight locking mechanism 
  that can be clamped down with ease. Just below the cap 
  are four metal switches, designating as to which chamber 
  is currently opened for use. Each ornamental flower, 
  being carried by the relief-tortoise, refers to one of the 
  chambers. If a chamber is opened, the correlative flower 
  will become further illuminated according to its own 
  specific gem-color (Red/Blue/Yellow/Green). Be careful 
  that you remember as to what is in each chamber.
  V. THE SKELETAL COUNTER 
  Developed during a period of extensive research in 
  the Gravity Fields, The Skeletal Counter is a a long-
  antiquated device once employed for its ability to vaguely 
  measure the amount of Radiation in any given area. It 
  is composed of six skeletal arms that are jointed with 
  flexible, metal hinges. The shoulder bones are attached 
  to a steel obelisk, heavily oxidized, that stands roughly 
  three feet in height. 
  The base of the obelisk is supported by rolling casters 
  or finely polished metal orbs inset into glided holders. 
  These casters line the entirety of the base’s four sides. 
  Affixed to top of the obelisk’s pyramid is a merged skull 
  once belonging (and perhaps still) to Dwarven conjoined 
  twins. At a point in the back of the skull, where the 
  differing heads are fuse there will be a slit/puncture just 
  large enough for a common dagger. 
  If a dagger is fully inserted into this opening, the device 
  will begin to automate and it will express this function 
  through the extending of its skeletal arms, which all 
  appear to have six fingers. The arms will eventually find 
  themselves in a mechanical sort of rhythm. 
  Once this activity has ceased, the number of boney digits 
  that are held up by each arms will indicate the level of 
  radiation now present within a three-hundred foot radius 
  of the device. This is determined on a 1D6 roll, with 
  a one representing a radiation-free proximal location 
  while a six represents almost immediate radiation 
  poisoning.
  VI. ENERJI DOME
  This helm is constructed from five aluminum bands. 
  Each band is smaller than the other and is progressively 
  stacked atop its larger counterpart so as to form a 
  radially-terraced pyramid. The aluminum has been 
  painted red. The Enerji Domes were, in the near 
  past, the preferred head-wear of Psionic practitioners 
  dedicated to the field of ‘Recirculation’. They were 
  known to hole up in a single residence and surround 
  themselves with the Arts, spending their time in self-
  reflexive thought in regards to how the Media was 
  affecting them. 
  By wearing the Enerji Domes and contemplating for 
  innumerable quantities of time, the Recirculators 
  claimed that they could increase their psychic energy. 
  If a PC decides to wear this helm and proceed to 
  isolate their mind from others and replace human 
  companionship for meditations on Art, by and large, 
  nothing will be gained in terms of psychic ability. Yet, 
  it should be said, that the PC has in such a case gained 
  beneficial exposure to the artistic endeavors of her 
  current location. Citizens who reside in major cities will 
  commonly compliment the helm on its design alone.
  VII. MAGNO-GRAPPLERS
  Designed specifically to assist those work in the business 
  of mining Magnetic-Ore veins (they enable them to 
  climb a mine’s inner walls). As a safety precaution, 
  the large, circular magnets embedded in a dark-brown 
  tanned leather palm, the gloves were positioned in 
  negative reaction to one another so as to repel the 
  possibility of a miner getting accidently caught, unable 
  to release her hands. 
  So, if a PC decides to use the gloves for the purpose 
  of immobilizing a weapon in battle, it will become 
  immediately obvious that only one glove may stick to 
  an object at any given time. Though, they are still 
  quite capable of scaling underground walls, rich with 
  magnetic-ore veins.
  VIII. KINETIC WINGS
  What lays before you are a pair of mechanical wings 
  (seven foot span), an exceptional artifice by all measure. 
  The extensions are composed of long, thin strips of 
  silver and copper. These have been meticulously overlaid 
  onto one another in a very well-conceived design. Each 
  strip can be seen to have engravings, nearly impossible 
  to catch on first glass, which depict an unending sea-
  voyage. It looks peaceful. 
  The wings move in a kinetic fashion (gently flowing) by 
  means of tiny, hidden mechanisms. The merchant swears 
  to its capabilities of flight and proceeds to tell stories 
  that she’s heard regarding the near-relic’s mythology. 
  It is, in fact, not capable of putting man into flight, but 
  is rather meant to function as a symbol of great public 
  authority, which is only to be worn on a specific holiday 
  in a country that is very far away from where it now 
  resides.  
  WHAT THE HELL KIND OF EXPLORATION PARTY DIED DOWN THERE? (or) LOOT IN A BAZAAR by WILLIAM MCKINNEE
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  1
  Approximately 10,000 small seashells once used 
  as currency.
  2
  Hunter’s Aid. A throwing spear. It will get stuck 
  in any target it hits. Only the thrower can remove 
  it.
  3
  Gatherer’s Aid. An intricately carved wand 
  with an uncut gem at one end. When the gem is 
  touched, the wand will point to the nearest edible 
  plant. Catastrophic overload if used near large 
  scale agriculture.
  4
  Phylactery of the First Lich. Jammed after many 
  uses - dragon thinks it is just a pretty amulet. A 
  magic user could unjam it to resurrect the lich 
  once more.
  5
  Detailed map of a now sunken continent, 
  inscribed on a clay tablet.
  6
  Urn with ground sabertooth tiger teeth. They 
  grant strength and ferocity. Prized by potion 
  brewers.
  7
  Sacrificial dagger sacred to long forgotten 
  bloodthirsty god. If the dagger slays a hundred 
  mortals, this god will live again.
  8
  The secret of fire. Nowadays copied all over the 
  world, but the original can still be worth a lot of 
  money to the right collector.
  9
  Suit of crystal armor made by ancient, highly 
  advanced civilization. Gives great protection 
  from normal weapons, is average against crystal 
  weapons.
  10
  Petrified tyrannosaur, in striking pose.
  11
  Spellbook inscribed on several heavy stone slabs. 
  Contains many spells forgotten by contemporary 
  magic users, such as Chariot of Fire, Eye for an 
  Eye, Extinction Event, etc.
  12
  Tectonic Amulet. Allows wearer to sense and 
  control movement of continents. Cannot speed 
  them up, however; the process takes millennia. 
  Dragon wears it around claw, uses it to enact 
  long-running scheme.
  13
  Huge and beautifully cut gem. Throughout 
  history, it has been sacred to three different major 
  religions, all of which now consider it a mythical 
  object.
  14
  Ancient vampire sealed into golden sarcophagus. 
  Extremely thirsty.
  15
  Bottle of primordial soup. If spilled on the 
  ground, will spontaneously give rise to an entirely 
  new form of life.
  16
  Block of permafrost from the last ice age. Only 
  dragonfire can melt it. Once turned into water, it 
  will stay liquid until the temperature drops below 
  zero and then permanently freeze again.
  17
  Ancient book written in archaic language. If 
  translated, turns out to be biography of brilliant 
  but insane magic user. The looks of the subject 
  are well described, and are suspiciously similar to 
  those of the ruler of a nearby city.
  18
  Crystal sword. Slices right through metal and 
  leather armor, is stopped as normal by crystal 
  armor.
  19
  Scroll of Resetting. Allows a single person or 
  small group to travel through time to moment 
  when scroll was written, a few million years ago. 
  A magic user could copy it. A copy will, of course, 
  take you to the moment the copy was written.
  20
  Crudely shaped round stone disk about two feet 
  across, with hole through centre. The world’s first 
  wheel. Dragon considers it the world’s first coin, 
  and prizes it above all other treasures.
  Notable artifacts in the 
  First Dragon’s hoard
  by Andreas Folkesten
  andreas.folkesten@hotmail.com
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A list of artifacts in the treasure hoard of the 
  oldest/first dragon in the world.
  Cannot contain anything made with contemporary 
  spellcraft or metalwork!
  Thanks, 
   
   
  L. B.
  Notable artifacts in the First Dragon’s hoard by Andreas Folkesten
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  1
  A boot. You rolled a damn 1, what did you expect?
  2
  An ornate, yet completely seamless, metal box 
  that the player characters couldn’t open even if 
  they had access to a nuclear blowtorch. The good 
  thing about it is that the WORST villain in your 
  campaign is willing to forgive all past wrongs, 
  and pay the PC’s handsomely in exchange for the 
  box. Gee, I wonder what’s inside it?
  3
  A beautiful, wheezing mermaid who’s hopelessly 
  tangled in a fishing net, and slowly suffocating to 
  death. Oh, and she’s also a chaotic-evil, human-
  hating, high-level magic-user who will regain full 
  access to her spells as soon as she’s back in the 
  water, so good luck with that.
  4
  A treasure chest full of a non-gamebreaking 
  amount of loot just lying about all “la-dee-da.” 
  One or more of the coins/gems/state secrets/etc. 
  inside of it is haunted as a mother, though. Roll a 
  d6 for each PC who touches a part of the treasure. 
  A result of 1 means that they have a new ghost 
  “friend” until randomquestcruelty is completed. 
  Multiple ones means multiple funs!
  5
  The first mate of a ship that’s currently wrecked 
  on a nearby reef. He’s grateful for any PC help, 
  and offers to lead them to the riches on his former 
  vessel before someone else can lay claim to them. 
  Of course, he’s actually a murderous fuck who 
  killed everyone aboard, and he doesn’t plan on 
  sharing anything with the PC’s once they’ve 
  helped him recover what he wants.
  6
  A hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore. 
  Watch your feet, bitch.
  7
  A trail made of large, flat stones which extends 
  out into the ocean past the horizon. They lead to 
  the Far Lands, and only appear once every seven 
  years.
  8
  A bloated corpse lying face down in the sand with 
  a reasonably valuable weapon on it. He doesn’t 
  need it anymore, though. His maw full of razor-
  sharp shark teeth is all he needs to gnaw the faces 
  off of unsuspecting travellers.
  9
  A famous painting, rolled up and stored in a 
  waterproof cylinder. Many interested parties, both 
  legitimate, as well as legitimate bastards, would 
  like to get their hands on it.
  10
  The diary of a time traveller. MOST of the entries 
  are all boring like, “Breakfast was instructive. 
  Must get used to chewing food instead of 
  absorbilating it”, but there are occasionally useful 
  bits of info. Roll a d10 every time a PC spends an 
  hour reading the journal. Treat a result of 10 like 
  the PC has read the same information that they 
  could have gleaned with a successful casting of one 
  of the following spells: 1.) Identify --on something 
  cool in their possession, or that they’ll run 
  across in the near future-- 2.) Clairaudience 3.) 
  Clairvoyance 4.) Foresight 5.) Know Alignment 
  --of a being or object the reader has already come 
  into contact with-- 6.) Locate Object.
  11
  Hallucination-inducing kelp. Y’know, the good 
  stuff. Any PC who ingests/touches/smokes it gets 
  to go on an “adventure” in their own psyche. I 
  guess you could let ‘em roll a save or whatever. 
  Locals in the know might pay a decent price for 
  the stuff.
  12
  An incredibly rich and powerful noble who is 
  suffering from total amnesia. 
  13
  A severed human foot with a VERY distinctive 
  toe-ring (or anklet, or whatever) still attached to 
  it.
  14
  A giant egg. It hatches in d100 hours. Roll on 
  your favorite “All-Of-The-Things” table to 
  determine what’s inside it.
  15
  An astonishingly ripped rowing-slave. Well, a 
  former rowing-slave, unless his former masters 
  catch up with him... 
  16
  A barrel of highly flammable oil.
  17
  One of the PC’s siblings, alive or dead. Your call.
  18
  A lifeboat. Has a false bottom that’s secretly lined 
  with glistening abalone and exotic pelts. And you 
  thought secret door checks were just for dungeons.
  19
  A mysteriously undamaged and fully functional 
  grand piano. 
  20
  A full-blown Ghost Ship. Like if One-Eyed Willie 
  and his crew had the balls to fight their way out of 
  hell to ratchet up the action at their old place of 
  business.
  21
  A super-creepy and ridiculously ornate masthead. 
  It looks like Satan fucked a meth-addicted 
  Valkyrie, and this thing is what popped out. A 
  hidden compartment in one of the left breasts 
  contains the crown jewels of a foreign land.
  What Did the Ocean Barf 
  Up This Time?
  By Chris G
  DeathAndAxes@gmail.com
  http://DeathAndAxes.blogspot.com
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A d100 table with random items that occasionally wash 
  up along a stretch of shoreline that is infamous for 
  shipwrecks, restless souls of the drowned and aquatic 
  ghoul attacks.
  Thanks,  
   
   
   
  J. M.
  What Did the Ocean Barf Up This Time? By Chris G
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  22
  A wine cask emblazoned with the label of a well-
  respected vineyard. The contents are actually 
  vinegary swill, but no one’s going to know that 
  until AFTER the sale, right?
  23
  A tiny, wooden chest. Inside is a mutton, lettuce 
  and tomato sandwich. The mutton is, surprisingly, 
  still nice and lean. 
  24
  A huge, bioluminescent jellyfish, full of ghosts 
  and venom.
  25
  Aqua-Stirges!
  26
  A marooned group of pirate philosophers. They 
  seek enlightenment, and booty.
  27
  Poltergeist plus a huge, rusty anchor and plenty of 
  splintered wood. Go!
  28
  Bizarrely colored people in search of their queen.
  29
  Murder victim, PC’s implicated. Anyone dumb 
  enough to actually touch the body is immediately 
  arrested by nearby investigators. Time to Scooby 
  it up, and find the real killer. Or, y’know, just a 
  good, old-fashioned jailbreak.
  30
  A vehicle from another world. Came through a 
  portal that’s located deep under the water nearby.
  31
  Debris and some radio equipment from a 20th 
  century luxury ship. It doesn’t matter where or 
  when your game is set. Seems like that strange, 
  metal box is talking, too.
  32
  A chest full of dried rations.
  33
  A genie in a bottle. That always works out well.
  34
  Driftwood.
  35
  An ornery, giant clam. It has a perfect, 
  massive pearl inside of it, but doesn’t seem to be 
  forthcoming.
  36
  Squid-puke. 
  37
  Formal invitations to a raging kegger at Poseidon’s 
  palace.
  38
  A magnificent Nereid who desperately desires to 
  make contact with a randomly determined PC due 
  to nebulous motivations. You should totally have 
  John Paul White’s cover of “Can’t Get it Out of 
  My Head” playing in the background.
  39
  A giant sea-snail with a jaunty outlook on life, and 
  an entire other world inside its shell.
  40
  A five-pound block of Ambergris. Perfumers will 
  pay a handsome sum for this chunk of whale-poop. 
  Pretty much just looks like a weird, lightweight 
  rock.
  41
  BLOOD! As far as the eye can see, an ocean of 
  blood...
  42
  A massive tidal wave that would surely destroy 
  the nearest town/caravan of strippers/city...   if 
  the wave weren’t mysteriously frozen in time. The 
  wave isn’t moving, for now. What stopped it, and 
  for how long?
  43
  Medieval Michael Phelps, outswimming a shark 
  for shits and giggles.
  44
  Refugees from the nearest war-torn land in your 
  game. You do have a war going on somewhere in 
  your game, right?
  45
  An aquatic ghoul, desperately making for land, 
  despite being chained to another aquatic ghoul, 
  and another, and so on all the way down to the 
  anchor the last one is chained to at the bottom of 
  the sea. Rubes. 
  46
  Some poor schmoe who’s cursed to count every 
  grain of sand on that beach. You didn’t step on the 
  pile he was just working on, did you?
  47
  Remember the Sirens from the Odyssey? Looks 
  like someone finally gave them a lift off of that 
  island.
  48
  A floating flower, from which springs a tiny deity 
  with a major case of “small man” syndrome. He’s 
  all, “What are you lookin’ at, mortals?” I’m 
  picturing him with a minuscule cigar stub and a 
  scruffy five o’clock shadow, but you should run 
  with what works for you.
  49
  It’s not so much that the waves washed something 
  up, as it is that the ocean has turned into a raging 
  inferno. Is the water on fire, or has the water 
  itself become fire? *shrug* I just write the tables; 
  implementation is your problem.
  50
  Thousands of blackbirds, uncharacteristic for 
  this area, are standing eerily stock-still along the 
  shoreline, almost daring anyone to come near the 
  water.
  51
  It’s just a fucking seagull... Or IS it?               Yeah, 
  it’s just a damn seagull.
  52
  A jet-ski! Full tank of gas, too.
  53
  It turns out that this whole “haunted beach” thing 
  is just a big illusion. Who would go to that kind of 
  trouble, and what are they trying to hide?
  54
  A pleasure-barge making landfall to unleash 
  its boorish and inebriated passengers on a shore 
  excursion in your neck of the woods. On the bright 
  side, you might be able to catch the tail end of an 
  orgyfeast if you hop aboard.
  55
  Garbage. Tons of it. It seems that the kingdom/
  country/Republican across the way is dumping 
  their junk into your pristine waters. 
  56
  Just like, really a lot of chalk. Maybe a container 
  ship full of chalk wrecked nearby, or maybe it’s 
  some kind of art installation? Either way, free 
  chalk.
  What Did the Ocean Barf Up This Time? By Chris G
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  57
  Moldy rope, and plenty of it.
  58
  Barnacle-covered remnants of a pier from 
  somewheresville.
  59
  An invading military force. Could be a full 
  armada, could be a saucy little expeditionary 
  crew. Whatever’s clever.
  60
  You know those seashells that sound like the ocean 
  when you hold them up to your ear? This one 
  sounds exactly like whatever’s currently being said 
  at that shadowy, private table in your local tavern. 
  Go figure.
  61
  An immortal, all-seeing tortoise oracle. Doesn’t 
  matter how wise it is though, because you know 
  the PC’s are just gonna try to kill it, or use it as a 
  mount.
  62
  A baby. No, not an orc baby, just the regular kind.
  63
  A barrel of ale! Huzzah!
  64
  A lodestone.
  65
  The BEST pebble ever for skipping across the top 
  of the water. Seriously, this bad boy is sleek.
  66
  The Atlantean/Lemurean ambassador. Try to 
  channel Namor.
  67
  A fishing net.
  68
  A sea-demon. You’d think it would go all monster-
  attack, but nah. Smooth, sophisticated stealer of 
  souls. With gills. Who smells like tuna. Okay, it 
  sounds bad on paper, but he makes it work.
  69
  Two lovers having sexy time in the ocean-foam. 
  70
  Two drunken assholes beating the tar out of each 
  other in the ocean-foam.
  71
  Yeah, it’s a wizard’s tower. A frickin’ floating 
  wizard’s tower.
  72
  A trident.
  73
  A bard’s gear. So, it’s basically useless crap. Keep 
  right on walking.
  74
  The manifest of a famous ship that went missing 
  twenty years ago, and a set of footprints leading 
  away from it. It looks brand-spanking new...
  75
  A box of imported chocolates. Go ahead, treat 
  yourself.
  76
  A Sea-Chariot meant to be pulled by: 1.) A school 
  of swordfish  2.) Dolphins  3.) Electric eels 4.) A 
  giant seahorse.
  77
  An orange. That’s sure to come in handy at sea.
  78
  A talking, beached whale. His name’s Alistair, 
  and he’s soooooo embarrassed by this faux pas. 
  79
  Incandescent sea-slime that will continue glowing 
  in a 20-foot radius as long as it’s kept in seawater.
  80
  Three ladies stirring a bubbling cauldron. One of 
  them’s young and hot, but the other two are pretty 
  “meh.”
  81
  A big, addictive Air-Bubble. Once inside it, a 
  character can move at their normal speed on or 
  under the water, and breathe normally, but there’s 
  a cumulative 1% chance every hour that they’ll 
  become addicted to the sensation, and never leave 
  the ocean. They know this is coming; they can 
  feel it. If the PC succumbs to the bubble’s charms, 
  I guess they just become a very interesting NPC.
  82
  A totally bitchin’ dog. Super hardcore, and clearly 
  a good swimmer.
  83
  Wooden shoes.
  84
  The world’s chillest sea serpent. Imagine your 
  favorite stoner sunning themselves on a rock. 
  85
  An overweight selkie with something to prove.
  86
  A randomly determined PC’s favorite bag/
  backpack. Wait, what?! How did that get there? 
  Did someone snag their shit?!
  87
  A crystal ball. It’s not magical or anything. Just a 
  lovely tchotchke.
  88
  It’s a sea cucumber. If you touch it, save vs. 
  magic or swap minds with the sea cucumber. 
  That’s right, you just unleashed the soul of a 
  sea cucumber in the body of a wizard, or, like, a 
  hulking barbarian or something. What the hell 
  would THAT be like? Oh, yeah, and you’re a big 
  ole water-caterpillar-thing now.
  89
  A cute, li’l baby seal. Awwwww!
  90
  A tricorne hat.
  91
  Cloak of the Manta Ray! Fuck yeah!!!
  92
  A half-buried metric fuck-ton of rum. Also, some 
  pirates currently in the process of burying it.
  93
  A randomly determined PC’s greatest flaw, 
  embodied in physical form. Don’t know your 
  characters well enough to decide what that is? 
  Laaaaaaaaame GM. Lame.
  94
  A boat oar.
  95
  A burial at sea that the waves objected to.
  96
  A viking-ish raiding party, and they look pretty 
  pumped! Locking up the valuables and hiding 
  your daughters isn’t gonna cut it this time. The 
  smart move would be to get waaaaaaay the hell 
  out of Dodge.
  What Did the Ocean Barf Up This Time? By Chris G
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  97
  A LoveBomb: It’s disguised as an incredibly 
  powerful weapon capable of utmost destruction, 
  and no warmonger could possibly resist its 
  charms. It can sense the approach of sentient 
  beings, and will detonate as soon as there are 3 
  or more of them near it. Everyone within 30 feet 
  of the device must make a save vs. magic when it 
  goes off. Success means that they’re just -1 to any 
  attempt to harm others for the next hour due to 
  a marginally increased respect for life. Failure 
  results in them becoming completely enamored 
  of the first person they lay eyes on after the 
  blast. (“Charm Person” or something similar.) 
  The charm effect is permanent, unless someone 
  removes the curse, or the person they’re infatuated 
  with tries to murderize them. Make love, not war, 
  man
  98
  A truly world-shattering horror. Not Cthulhu, 
  because let’s be a little more original here. 
  If you can’t think of anything, just go with a 
  twenty-story, snake-headed demon whose secret 
  motivation is to enact the most twisted possible 
  interpretations of Burl Ives’ songs. Whatever it 
  is, it’s totally above the PC’s paygrade though, 
  so taking it on by themselves would equal a quick 
  TPK. Spotting it, and escaping with their lives 
  is the best they can hope for during the initial 
  encounter. If they want to get out ahead of this 
  one, they’re going to need to pull out all the 
  stops. They’ll need to Machiavelli together an 
  ingenious plan, and schmooze as many monarchs/
  archmages/etc. as possible into helping them 
  either defeat this thing, or turn it into their pet.
  99
  An advanced, floating city that has run aground. 
  They should have made that left turn at 
  Albuquerque.
  100
   
  A message in a bottle: Roll a d6
  1
  A letter from some dude trapped on a 
  desert island, with rough directions 
  on how to get there.
  2
  A blood-spattered letter from the 
  future version of one of the PC’s 
  that warns the group of treachery 
  from within their own ranks. The 
  handwriting is a perfect match, 
  and any magic or science used to 
  identify the blood will confirm that 
  it belongs to the PC in question.
  3
  A love letter written years ago by a 
  soldier for a now-middle-agey NPC 
  woman who the PC’s have actually 
  met before. Should they take it 
  upon themselves to reunite the old 
  lovebirds, they’ll be pleasantly  
  surprised to find out that Romeo is a 
  wealthy and generous general now.
  4
  A desperate plea for help, and/
  or offer of wealth to anyone who 
  can save the main NPC from that 
  adventure you’ve been wanting to 
  run, but couldn’t seem to get the 
  players interested in.
  5
  The deed to that creepy, dilapidated 
  castle on yon barren, remote island. 
  Legally sound, and might net  you 
  a title, but I smell a megadungeon 
  under that sonofabitch.
  6
  A treasure map which leads to the 
  Island of the Kooky Kabuki Girls. 
  Genre be damned!
   
  What Did the Ocean Barf Up This Time? By Chris G
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Transhuman Fashions
  By Ben Djarum
  codexapocrypha@gmail.com
  codexapocrypha.blogspot.com
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  Eclipse Phase character art - a simple sketch is fine, 
  but I’m really after people’s ideas of what transhuman 
  fashion could look like to play with.
  Thanks,  
   
   
  A. S.
  transhuman 
  Transhuman Fashions By Ben Djarum
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  STANDARD HYPERCORP GEAR (L – R) JOVIAN PISTOLS – MICROSTEEL FLEX UNDERSHIRT – 
  CRAVIT ARMOR – MARTIAN FIELD JACKET – BREATHING MASKS – HIP HOLSTER – JOVIAN 
  HUSTLER COAT – BOOTLEG MARTIAN ARTIFACTS – VACUUM SUIT : LEGGINGS, TUNIC, CONTROL 
  GLOVE, UTILITY BELT, VACUUM HOOD. – BOOTS – SHOES - LEGGINGS – HIP POUCH – 
  TRANSTHERMAL SEER COAT  
  Transhuman Fashions By Ben Djarum
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  ALTERED IMAGE GEAR & EQUIPMENT – ASSORTED HELMETS, FACE MASKS, GOGGLES, AND FLEX 
  SUITS. TACTICAL ARMOR, TALBOT SCOPES, MACHETE, TANZI SPIKES, PACKS, RED CAVE HAIR 
  PISTOL AND GRAPPLING HOOKS. 
  Transhuman Fashions By Ben Djarum
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  ALTERED STATE MASKS, HELMETS, AND BODY GRAFT SUITS 
  Transhuman Fashions By Ben Djarum
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Transhuman Fashions By Ben Djarum
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Through-out the ages philosophers have often asked, 
  what lies at the core of mankind? What makes him act 
  the way he does? And how can we access this root cause, 
  this wellspring of self, and truly channel it?
  The answers are nothing, aliens, and this gun, respec-
  tively.
  If you look deep enough, you will learn that there is no 
  such thing as a primal human self. We are all hollow 
  vessels, worn like masks by strange, faceless things from 
  before time. What you experience as “emotion” is simply 
  your possession by one of these beings. A change in your 
  emotion signals a transition from one host to another.
  Professor Zimberly Troff knew this. He wanted the 
  demons out of his head. So he snuck back into the univer-
  sity’s engineering department (after they kicked him out, 
  kicked him out, the nerve of some people) and he built 
  the gun. He’s holding it to his head right now. He’s also 
  standing in his (former) office, drool leaking from the 
  corner of his mouth, while a cool breeze is coming from 
  the smashed window behind him. Faint screams ride the 
  wind from three stories below.
  If you point the gun at your head and pull the trigger, 
  determine what emotion you’re feeling and consult the 
  following table. You will never feel that emotion again.
  This thing comes crawling from your head:
  1. Serenity: 
  10d10 yellow beetles [1 HP, 14 AC, 
  -2 to hit, 1 damage bite]. Their soft 
  yellow shells are shaped like random 
  two-dimensional polygons. Stomping 
  or using a flyswatter lowers their AC to 
  4. At the end of every turn, anyone who 
  was bitten makes a DC 15 CHA save 
  (with a -1 for every bite); failure means 
  the target is content with being bitten, 
  and ceases fighting the beetles.
  2. Joy: 
  The white shadow of a spider [4 HD, 
  10 AC, +4 to hit, 1d8 bite]. Casting a 
  shadow upon it deals 1d6 damage, while 
  nothing else hurts it. Being bitten caus-
  es the target such extreme pleasure that 
  they cannot feel pain; roll all damage 
  dealt at the end of combat.
  3. Ecstasy: 
  D30 scintillating gem-butterflies [1 
  HP, 16 AC]. Getting touched by their 
  wings feels like taking a couple shots 
  of heroin; make a DC 25 WIS save or 
  be paralyzed by the endorphin rush for 
  1d6 turns.
  Acceptance: 
  4.
  D10 floating eyes made from jade [1 
  HD, 6 AC]. They tend to follow people 
  around, and occasionally blink. If 
  attacked in front of an NPC they will 
  react as if you just stabbed a cat with 
  a spoon and demand an explanation. 
  “Woah woah woah man! They’re just 
  eyes, what the hell are you doing?!” 
  5. Trust: 
  A sandstone statue of a man [3 HD, 
  8 AC]. The features have been worn 
  smooth; it has no face and its limbs 
  end in nubs. It wears a tweed jacket 
  and brown corduroy pants. It slowly 
  wanders, scraping it’s nubs against the 
  ground and making a soft moaning 
  sound, and onlookers make a DC 20 
  CHA check or join it in a kind of conga 
  line, trusting it to lead the way. If 
  attacked, these hangers on will defend 
  the statue.
  Admiration: 
  6.
  A grey granite statue of the target [5 
  HD, 0 AC, +6 to hit, 1d8 bite]. It’s 
  missing it’s right arm and it’s scream-
  ing, with teeth made of broken glass. 
  Onlookers are struck by the statue’s 
  beauty. If they fail a DC 20 INT check 
  they try to emulate it by cutting of their 
  arms and replacing their teeth with 
  broken glass. The statue is motionless 
  when someone is looking, but if unob-
  served it can move silently. It always 
  sneak attacks.
  7. Apprehen-
  sion: 
  A torso with six limbs, all made out of 
  knives [7 HD, 17 AC, +2 to hit, 1d6 
  knife-punch]. If a limb is struck it 
  will scatter knives everywhere. These 
  blades are dull and rusty, but the fear of 
  stabbing themselves will give a combat-
  ant a cumulative -1 to all rolls for every 
  consecutive round in combat.
  FEAR AND LOATHING 
  IN A 10MM ROUND
  by Maxim Golubchik
  itismaxim@gmail.com
  http://onbattlemountain.blogspot.com
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  a random encounter set for confrontations with the 
  primal self (a character’s, yours, God’s, whatever).
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  A.
  FEAR AND LOATHING IN A 10MM ROUND by Maxim Golubchik
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  8. Fear: 
  A floating 5’ by 5’ square sheet of 
  mirror-smooth steel [5HD, 8 AC, +1 to 
  hit, 1d8 side slice]. As a piece of steel, 
  only attacks that would actually destroy 
  metal will damage it. The edges are ra-
  zor sharp and the disc will spin and try 
  to cut you. Your reflection in the disc 
  appears to be cut into pieces and miss-
  ing its eyes. Make a DC 25 WIS check 
  or be forced to avert your eyes from the 
  hideous sight.
  9. Terror: 
  A boiling puddle of molten metal [10 
  HD, 5 AC, +5 to hit, 1d6 T-1000 style 
  metal stab + 1d4 fire damage]. Incred-
  ibly dense and unharmed by just about 
  anything. When it appears, roll 1d100; 
  after this many rounds it will cool 
  and harden. Anyone cut cannot stop 
  screaming for the next 1d10 minutes.
  Distraction: 
  10.
  An invisible child [1 HD, 14 AC]. It is 
  constantly giggling, giving everyone 
  who hears it -3 to all actions (except 
  for trying to harm it, which only gets a 
  -1). Catching and touching the “child” 
  reveals it’s features to be decidedly 
  non-humanoid.
  11. Surprise: 
  An invisible man [2 HD, 14 AC, +5 to 
  hit, 1d6 claws]. Every 1d4 rounds he 
  will shout like a random NPC, usually 
  either an insult or a plea for help. His 
  mimicry is perfect, and the GM should 
  not announce it as such. He always has 
  surprise and sneak attacks when strik-
  ing, whatever that means in you system.
  Amazement: 
  12.
  D20 invisible marching band players [2 
  HD, 16 AC, +2 to hit, 1d4 instrument 
  whack]. The band’s instruments are 
  scalding hot and feel like they are made 
  of stone, but only 1d6 band members 
  will attack on any given turn. Anyone 
  who fails a DC 25 CHA check is left 
  dumbfounded and speechless until the 
  band stops playing. Put on ‘The Thun-
  derer’ (or just about anything else by 
  John Sousa) and let only characters 
  who passed their checks take their turn 
  until the song ends. Then put on a new 
  song and make everyone take the check 
  again.   
  Pensiveness: 
  13.
  A blue sheet, apparently fluttering in 
  the wind [3 HD, 8 AC, +5 to hit, 1d4 
  strangle]. Walking around the sheet 
  determines that it doesn’t actually have 
  any edges, despite appearing to be a 
  flat piece of cloth. Everyone fighting 
  it remembers previous, painful battles, 
  and loses one hitpoint per turn, up to a 
  maximum of how many hitpoints they 
  lost in their last fight.
  14. Sadness: 
  About ten gallons of blue liquid [5 
  HD, 16 AC, +7 to hit, 1d4 drown]. It 
  moves of its own volition, acting like a 
  cross between a ferrofluid and pouring 
  water. Since it’s a liquid just smacking 
  it isn’t going to do anything. Two turn 
  after it starts drowning you, it does the 
  puffer-fish and punches a hundred holes 
  in your throat for 2d20 damage. Any-
  one within ten feet must make a DC 20 
  CHA save or start crying. It is attracted 
  to tears.
  15. Grief: 
  A long twenty foot long blue silk scarf 
  [2 HD, 14 AC, +8 to hit, 1d8 strangle]. 
  It moves like a hyperactive snake on 
  wind currents. After it attacks it will 
  retreat, and after 1d10 turns of hiding 
  it will attack the PC’s best friend. It 
  always gain sneak attack.
  16. Boredom: D1000 skinned mice [1 HP, AC 14]. 
  Stomping or using a flyswatter lowers 
  their AC to 4. The mice skitter and 
  swarm. If they hit a character, they 
  latch on and start slowly fusing with 
  the target’s skin. Each mouse 5 mice 
  fused like this increase the damage tak-
  en from all sources by 1. Removing such 
  a fused flesh nub takes 10 minutes with 
  a knife and is painless, but a character 
  can’t be bothered to remove more the 
  their WISDOM score of them every 
  day, since it’s just too boring.
  17. Disgust: 
  A skinned stag [4 HD, AC 10, +2 to 
  hit, 1d8 charge, 1d6 kick]. All its 
  joints bend backwards and it has two 
  heads, the second growing out of its ass. 
  Looking at it necessitates making a DC 
  20 WIS save, or you spend the next two 
  rounds vomiting everywhere, giving 
  you a -4 to all actions. After you finish 
  vomiting this is reduced to a -2 until 
  you can get cleaned up.
  FEAR AND LOATHING IN A 10MM ROUND by Maxim Golubchik
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Loathing: 
  18. 
  A skinned roc [10 HD, AC 8, +8 to hit, 
  1D10 talons]. Instead of a beak it has 
  the face of a random party member. 
  Anyone who fails to make a DC 27 
  INT check hates and fears that party 
  member, and refuses to help them in 
  any way for the duration of the battle.
  Annoyance: 
  19. 
  A black skeleton [3 HD, 10 AC, +3 to 
  hit, 1d6 fire]. It burns with an invisible 
  flame, dealing one point of damage to 
  anyone and anything within 10 feet. If 
  it hits you in melee, you must make a 
  DC 25 WIS save or be so angry that you 
  are unable to retreat.
  20. Anger: 
  1d8 black burned hands [1HP, 13 AC, 
  +5 to hit, 1d4 strangle]. You can see the 
  bones sticking out of the charred flesh. 
  They completely control the strangled 
  character, unless the make a DC 25 
  CHA save.
  21. Rage: 
  A hooded figure of black flame [9HD, 
  AC 9, +9 to hit, 1d6 fire]. It stands 
  almost ten feet tall. The fires it starts 
  can’t be put out until it dies. When you 
  attack it, the same attack made of flame 
  emerges from its torso and strikes you.
  22. Interest: 
  1d20 floating 1’x1’ LED displays [1 
  HP, AC 11]. They show clips of chil-
  dren’s television subtitled with lewd and 
  obscene orange text. Every time you 
  attack, make a WIS save: failure means 
  you attack one of the floating screens 
  instead since you were trying to read 
  the subtitles.
  Anticipation: 
  23.
  A long empty bandage in the shape of a 
  man, covered in orange text [2HD, AC 
  15, +2 to hit]. It unwinds and rewinds 
  constantly, making its position unpre-
  dictable. Anyone trying to hit it has a 
  3-6 chance of simply anticipating it in 
  the wrong place and missing complete-
  ly. It doesn’t attack, but on a successful 
  hit entangles and steals a single random 
  item.
  Vigilance: 
  24. 
  The lettering on some nearby text turns 
  orange and completely jumbled up [2 
  HD]. If stabbed or harmed the letters 
  go back to normal and some other near-
  by text jumbles, and the creature loses a 
  single hit point. As you can imagine, it 
  gravitates towards libraries, where find-
  ing it is a bitch. Any character who’s 
  seen it must make a DC 20 WIS save ev-
  ery turn or immediately go hunting for 
  it, abandoning their previous activity.
  NOTE: numbers added in case one wants to randomly 
  roll an emotion on the chart - Ed.
  FEAR AND LOATHING IN A 10MM ROUND by Maxim Golubchik
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  58
  58
  D100 Shipping Containers
  By Erik Jensen
  erikisarobot@gmail.com
  http://wampuscountry.blogspot.com
  d100
  contents 1
  contents 2
  name 1
  name 2
  name 3
  1
  tritium
  carbon chips
  Eco-
  -dyne
  Labs
  2
  forklift
  allotropic samples
  Geo-
  -sys
  Industries
  3
  kegs of beer
  magnetocapacitors
  Necro-
  -ian
  Enterprises
  4
  produce
  Bogdanov resistors
  Cryo-
  -lab
  Syndicate
  5
  propane cylinders
  nutrient sustenance paste
  Gene-
  -mix
  Company
  6
  boxes of pasta
  alien illegals
  Bio-
  -trope
  Global
  7
  vegetable oil
  liquid nitrogen
  Solar-
  -synth
  International
  8
  feminine products
  knockoff rifles
  Arachno-
  -con
  LLC
  9
  hydraulic parts
  riot gear
  Anti-
  -mic
  Galactic
  10
  artificial sweetener
  massive butterfly collection
  Inter-
  -maya
  Corporation
  11
  sublimated
   petrochemicals
  transgenic horses
  Cathar-
  Systems
  12
  plastic leather
  xeno-vaccines
  Con-
  -fusion
  Engineering
  13
  maraging steel
  holy relics
  Encephalo- -plex
  Partners
  14
  "red mercury"
  nerve gas
  Haemo-
  -vex
  Firm
  15
  artificial fur
  uplifted slave-workers
  Eta-
  -lect
  ,Inc.
  16
  cybernetic limbs
  stolen art
  Hiero-
  -phone
  Construction
  17
  polyester socks
  police hovercar
  Pyro-
  -clave
  Holding Company
  18
  textiles
  heavily-protected micro-singularity
  Gastro-
  -bus
  Mercantile
  19
  hot sauce
  rebreathers
  Crypto-
  -verse
  Capital
  20
  batteries
  panacea pills
  Agro-
  -tect
  Investments
  21
  small-arms ammunition
  suits of power armor
  Vibro-
  -pundit
  Bank
  22
  big-screen telemonitors
  A.I. graveyard
  Contra-
  -tile
  Amalgamated
  23
  cocaine
  dangerously savvy cryptologic A.I.
  Exo-
  -dact
  Diversified
  24
  synthetic meat
  anti-radiation suits
  Panzer-
  -arch
  Cooperative
  25
  paper towels
  bomb disposal robots, tracked
  Signo-
  -prom
  Communal
  26
  insulated canisters of 
  pseudomilk
  unameliorated semiliquid helium
  Grammo-
  -trade
  Pan-Galactic
  27
  frozen sides of beef
  angry, frothing monkeys
  Archaeo-
  -flux
  Transnational
  28
  cubes of neoplastic
  illegal clone parts
  Alpha-
  -font
  Interests
  29
  fine china
  labor mech-frame
  Con-
  -ability
  Brokers
  30
  robot dogs
  trove of seemingly-useless data 
  mined from social media
  Gaz-
  -scape
  Unlimited
  31
  bottles of liquor
  Feynman dampeners
  Ex-
  -oil
  Megacorp
  32
  firearms
  bottled lightning
  Hemi-
  -chem
  Multinational
  33
  medical skeletons
  pre-cataclysmic media and pop 
  culture trifles
  Mega-
  -bio
  Transplanetary
  34
  prophylactics
  pocket vacuum detectors
  Zero-
  -o
  Technologies
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  “I’d like know what’s in all those shipping containers on 
  their way to the Jovian moons or sitting on the docks of 
  Neo-Tokyo. Something suitable for a non-magical hard 
  sci-fi Cyberpunk/Transhuman setting, please!”
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  M. N.
  D100 Shipping Containers By Erik Jensen
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  59
  59
  35
  airplane parts
  hermetically-sealed cans of tapioca 
  pudding
  Chrono-
  -co
  Investiture
  36
  canisters of cookie 
  dough
  unprogrammed nanites
  Petro-
  -soft
  Association
  37
  cans of paint
  technogoggles
  Centi-
  -tor
  Guild
  38
  synthrubber tires
  dangerous (alien) criminal in 
  cryostasis
  Omega-
  -core
  Royal
  39
  personality matrices
  canned hydrogen
  Trans-
  -space
  Energy
  40
  toys
  an entire quantum alchemical 
  laboratory
  Para-
  -hex
  Group
  41
  exotic animals of 
  dubious legality
  asteroid core samples
  Luna-
  -chrome
  Agency
  42
  soap
  quantum buffers
  Beta-
  -bras
  Electronics
  43
  black tea
  antibiotics
  Tri-
  -mart
  Atomic
  44
  millet
  glowsticks, all colors
  Hypno-
  -lux
  Beyond
  45
  coffee beans
  Heisenberg compensators
  Sino-
  -oid
  Petroleum
  46
  planks of synthetic 
  wood
  yottabyte drives
  Mili-
  -motive
  Telecommunica-
  tions
  47
  real ivory
  partially-disassembled Sokal 
  engines
  Carni-
  -tech
  Cybernetics
  48
  resin
  fusion rods
  Pharma-
  -grid
  Health
  49
  soy cubes
  counterflux capacitors
  Argo-
  -law
  Alternatives
  50
  small timepieces
  canned argon
  Gamma-
  -atsu
  General
  51
  depleted uranium
  subspace routers
  Cyber-
  -precise
  Oceanic
  52
  flavored popcorn
  brand new androids
  Under-
  -ize
  Entertainment
  53
  cigarettes
  primitive pottery destined for a 
  museum
  Ros-
  -afrique
  Space
  54
  brown rice
  suspiciously empty
  Franco-
  -market
  Motors
  55
  instrumentation
  spacecraft parts
  Infra-
  -ineering
  Dynamics
  56
  legal pharmaceuticals, 
  mixed
  cryopreserved heads of famous 
  people
  Delta-
  -fex
  Transport
  57
  blood samples
  xenofossils
  Jovi-
  -stone
  Bionic
  58
  spent nuclear fuel
  terraforming protomatter
  Aram-
  -sant
  Orbital
  59
  circuitboards
  fashionable-this-year chimeric pets
  Peri-
  -mach
  Chemical
  60
  sex dolls and toys
  plasma conduits
  Flexi-
  -mark
  Mining
  61
  pirated holovids
  rods of proto-scrith
  Apo-
  -gen
  & Co.
  62
  cosmetics
  artificial stem cell lines
  Sub-
  -ex
  & Sons
  63
  fashionable clothing
  armored vehicle
  Hexa-
  -pole
  Pharmaceuticals
  64
  radio parts
  reverse-polarity interferotrons
  Zeta-
  -zon
  Consumer Goods
  65
  Halloween costumes, 
  assorted
  innumerable vanity-press publica-
  tions
  Albo-
  -gene
  Mineral
  66
  personal data devices
  offworld pornography
  Abs-
  -al
  Communications
  67
  precious metals
  a perfectly functional jump drive, 
  disassembled
  Ultra-
  -mech
  Aerospace
  68
  frozen human corpses
  illicit pink lasers
  Ultima-
  -droid
  Defence
  D100 Shipping Containers By Erik Jensen
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  60
  60
  69
  unworked semiprecious 
  stones
  solar reflectors
  Sexa-
  -ovo
  Manufacturing
  70
  opium
  mini navigational computers
  Hydro-
  -bot
  Factories
  71
  microwave transmitters
  anti-Euclidean-reflective paint for 
  starship hulls
  Juxta-
  -graph
  Zaibatsu
  72
  lucite boxes full of 
  spiders
  disruptor rifles
  Accu-
  -lys
  Export
  73
  video game systems
  zero-grav bikes
  Ether-
  -chron
  Imports
  74
  motorbikes
  bodies of mystery-plague victims
  Kudo-
  -vox
  Terran
  75
  polarized goggles
  hoverboards
  Leo-
  -ment
  Western
  76
  squid crackers
  personal submarine
  Lumi-
  -morphic
  Eastern
  77
  cans of pizza sauce
  eggs of some strange xeno-creature
  Aero-
  -phyll
  Northern
  78
  cryopreserved limbs
  empty stasis chambers
  Magna-
  -logy
  Southern
  79
  sports equipment
  scientific microtools
  Cthoni-
  -tops
  Insured
  80
  knockoff bluejeans
  jet packs
  Picto-
  -struct
  Analysis
  81
  virulent disease samples
  man-portable turboencabulators
  Gyno-
  -cost
  Vulnerabilities
  82
  oxygen tanks
  quasi-matter batteries
  Vacu-
  -oxy
  Multiphasic
  83
  car parts
  old, busted androids
  Terra-
  -nomy
  Metropolitan
  84
  powdered water
  a massive supercomputer
  Amphi-
  -polis
  Limited
  85
  artificial Christmas 
  trees
  hypodermic charges, varied
  Octo-
  -nym
  Australasian
  86
  illegally-trafficked 
  persons
  energy cylinders
  Xanthi-
  -vor
  Multinational
  87
  kevlar vests
  large, sensitive gravometric anoma-
  ly detector
  Bathy-
  -lingua
  Pacific
  88
  software
  EVA packs
  Meteoro-
  -colour
  Transcorporated
  89
  umbrellas
  alien fruit
  Anthropo-
  -mad
  United
  90
  tools
  local-scale weather-control ma-
  chine
  Nona-
  -lor
  Atlantic
  91
  sugary breakfast cereals
  oxygen candles
  Zygo-
  -ify
  Intercontinental
  92
  a fully-furnished apart-
  ment
  ununseptium dust
  Simu-
  -lide
  Cosmopolitan
  93
  undergarments
  large drum of coronal mass
  Seget-
  -log
  Temporal
  94
  chimeric sheep
  illegal alien beverage
  Quinti-
  -cross
  Confederated
  95
  paramilitary uniforms
  mass driver parts
  Tetra-
  -treme
  Universal
  96
  metal scrap
  preserved gametes, unlabeled
  Noo-
  -myth
  Ecumenical
  97
  cheaply-made flat-pack 
  furniture
  nuclear waste
  Nauti-
  -tude
  PanAmerican
  98
  animal fodder
  seashells
  Zoo-
  -port
  Imperial
  99
  peanuts
  scrip from a moribund nation
  Deka-
  -vibe
  Integrated
  100
  small consumer elec-
  tronics
  lunar rock
  Xipho-
  -sonic
  Multiversal
  D100 Shipping Containers By Erik Jensen
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
  61
  61
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  (it can be used as a normal d66 table with waiting back-
  up entries, or as a d100 table ignoring anything over 66.)
  Roll
  Contents
  01
  Weapons Cache:  3 axes, Compound Bow/Arrows, 
  2 x .357 Magnum/Ammo
  02
  Pile of Corpses: 2 Males (Asian, Caucasian), 1 
  Female (Asian), they’ve been partially eaten, $75 
  on them.
  03
  Snacks!: Box of Snickers bars, 6 x 12oz. cans of 
  Coke, Instant Coffee Packs
  04
  Destroyed Living Room:  Shredded Couch, 2 
  burnt chairs, dead Labrador dog
  05
  Child’s bedroom:  Canopy Bed, Dresser, large 
  dollhouse, child zombie (Female, Age: 9, hiding 
  behind large dollhouse)
  06
  Room full of old Rock N’ Roll records:  Elvis, 
  Beatles, Johnny Cash, etc. – There is a record 
  player in the room.  If used, it shorts and starts a 
  fire.
  07
  Pawn Shop (Minor): Amidst endless junk useful 
  items include a portable TV, a pair of handcuffs 
  and the refrigerator in the back has enough food 
  to feed 3 people for a week.  Zombies nearby notice 
  anyone entering the building and surround it 
  within 5 minutes.  The roof is the only way out.
  08
  File Room:  This room is full of filing cabinets.  
  Additionally there is a fax/copy machine that has 
  gone haywire and is endlessly copying.
  09
  Network Closet:  A bunch of IT gear in a rack.  
  Switches, firewalls, patch panels, etc.  There’s 
  also a spool of about 100’ of CAT5 network cable.
  10
  Kid’s Playroom:  A bunch of stuffed animals, a 
  table with a junior chemistry set and a chalkboard 
  with various colors of chalk.
  11
  Creepy Bathroom:  An office bathroom with mul-
  tiple stalls, lights flicker on/off as building power 
  is unstable.  Sewage has backed up and is on the 
  floor.  A “clang, clang, clang” can be heard from 
  somewhere.
  12
  Architect’s Office:  A well-furnished office appar-
  ently untouched by the carnage.  There are a va-
  riety of computers (No Internet) and draft boards 
  which have the blueprints for a variety of building 
  around town.
  13
  Waiting Room:  A medical waiting room.  There 
  is a man sitting on the couch.  Is he dead, undead, 
  sleeping or a hallucination?
  14
  Tool Shed:  A riding lawnmower, shovel, garden 
  hoe, rakes, a mechanics toolset (sockets/wrench-
  es), chainsaw, bags of lawn fertilizer and oil and 
  gas cans.
  15
  Fatman’s Apartment:  An apartment, first step 
  in makes a board creak and Gordo the Super Fat 
  Zombie charges out of the bedroom.  He has a 
  popcorn bucket on his head and a shirt that says 
  “Butter!”.
  16
  Veterinarian:  A normal pet hospital including a 
  full complement of pharmacological supplies in 
  a locked cabinet (Antibiotics, ketamine, alcohol 
  swabs, etc.)
  17
  Convenience Store:  A copious supply of common 
  convenience store items minus anything refriger-
  ated as the power has been cut and everything’s 
  melting (makes the floor a bit slippery).
  18
  Burned Out:  Whatever this once was is now just 
  a smoldering, crumbling husk of its former func-
  tion.
  19
  Immediate Assault:  This door is closed.  Immedi-
  ately on the other side is a male zombie.  He was 
  trying to get out but can’t operate a door.  Whoev-
  er opens this door will be face to face with him.
  20
  Survivor!:  Another apocalypse survivor is in here.  
  His name is Brett but he has been bitten.  He is 
  friendly to anyone whom isn’t a zombie but will 
  hide his wound.  He is armed w/ a handgun and 
  just wants to get to safety.
  21
  Coffee Shop:  A local coffee shop.  It looks like 
  it’s been ransacked, not by zombies but by other 
  survivors.
  22
  Strip Club:  The torn apart remains of several 
  female dancers are strewn about and rotting.  The 
  rot smell is very overpowering and may make any 
  who enter nauseated and sick.
  23
  Game Store:  A tabletop gaming store.  Many 
  RPGs, miniatures, and war games.  A table setup 
  in the front looks to be the game “Last Night on 
  Earth.”  Tommy, the geek zombie is trapped in 
  the can (bathroom) in the back.
  24
  Batteries:  This is one of those stores that has 
  batteries for almost anything.  In addition there is 
  $72 in the cash register.
  D66 Zombie Apocalypse 
  Random Contents, 
  Buildings & Encounters
  By Brett
  notifybw@gmail.com
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  I would like a d66 table of random building / room con-
  tents found in our modern world but 6 months after a 
  zombie apocalypse. Im not really picky, just whatever you 
  think might be in a room, particular zombies, scenes or 
  items. I don’t need any stats or rules or anythings.
  Thanks,  
   
   
  P. R.
  D66 Zombie Apocalypse  Random Contents,  Buildings & Encounters By Brett
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
  62
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  25
  Worthless:  This door is locked.  It can’t be 
  picked, the only way to open it is to bust it down.  
  The room on other side is empty but there is a 
  visible trapdoor in the floor.
  26
  Barbershop:  A run of the mill old school barber-
  shop.  3 chairs, a few sinks….somebody left some 
  1940s show tunes playing on the radio.
  27
  Horde:  There are 10 zombies standing in this 
  room.  They are hungry and will aggressively 
  pursue.
  28
  Pool Hall:  An upscale pool hall.  Several tables, 
  a small bar, pool cue sticks on the wall.  Smells 
  like a French hooker or something.
  29
  The Dying Man:  Lester sits here in a chair.  He 
  is old, he’s been attacked by zombies and he’s 
  dying.  It is obvious there is no saving him.  He 
  offers what he has to other survivors:  Keys to his 
  Jaguar, a pantry of food and he has a .20ga shot-
  gun and 10 shells.
  30
  Outdoor Center:  A variety of basic camping sup-
  plies (tents, lanterns, air mattresses, etc.)  Marv, 
  the undead store clerk, is hanging out in a random 
  tent.
  31
  Pharmacy:  Your local Walgreen’s or CVS etc.  A 
  full assortment of meds.  Opening the narcotics 
  cabinet triggers an audible alarm.
  32
  Internet Café:  This place still has power and one 
  the stations is on and has Internet access.  Unfor-
  tunately there are 3 zombies wandering around.
  33
  Liquor Store:  Small store, good selection of mi-
  crobrew beers and single malt scotches.
  34
  MacGyver’s Room:  Contains a tent, a rooster and 
  a moldy block of cheese along with plans for a 
  homemade bomb.
  35
  Burned Out:  Whatever this once was is now just 
  a smoldering, crumbling husk of its former func-
  tion.
  36
  Gas Leak:  This is a printing business storefront.  
  A radio was left playing smooth jazz on the desk.  
  There is a strange, sulfurous odor.  If anyone 
  turns off the radio it shorts, sparks and ignites the 
  gas in the room.
  37
  Mexican Restaurant:  Aptly titled “Jalapeño 
  Express”.  If anyone examines the black bean dip 
  vat in the serving line there is a severed head in it.  
  Yummy!
  38
  Freaked Out Paul:  Paul is hiding out in this 
  room, he’s armed and he’s locked the door.  Paul 
  won’t answer or speak but the minute someone 
  fiddles with the door Paul starts unloading.  He 
  can’t be reasoned with, he’s lost his mind and to 
  him everyone is a zombie.  Paul has two handguns 
  (.40 S&W + 50 rounds) and $100.
  39
  Auto Shop:  A small auto repair center.  A variety 
  of tools, a few cars on lifts, etc.  There are keys 
  on the key rack to a pickup truck that will start 
  in the back lot.  Unfortunately it’s surrounded by 
  zombies.  The only way to get to it is to be sneaky.
  40
  Pile of Corpses:  Zombie dining event.  Arms, 
  legs, half eaten torsos.  The maggots are now 
  moving in.
  41
  Gym:  An indoor gym.  Mostly as expected but 
  the indoor pool is completely red due to the 
  slaughter that took place here.  A few zombies lurk 
  fully submerged in the pool and may reach out 
  and grab the leg of anyone whom gets too close to 
  the pool edge.
  42
  Survivor!: Another apocalypse survivor is in here.  
  His name is Jim, he is a doctor and can treat the 
  wounded quite proficiently.  He has barricaded the 
  door but is open to negotiation if he thinks he will 
  be protected.
  43
  Payday Loans:  Home of a local loan shark.  Very 
  sparsely furnished but the safe in the back room 
  is open.  There’s $666 dollars in cash in the safe.  
  Weird huh?
  44
  Guitar Shop:  A basic guitar shop with a Goth 
  metal vibe.  Coal Chamber, Type O Negative, etc.  
  Some very nice guitars on the back wall.
  45
  Pawn Shop (Major):  Amidst endless junk useful 
  items include 2 shotguns/ammo, a working CB, 
  a first aid kit, a generator, short range walkie 
  talkies and 2 machetes.  Russ & Otis, the now 
  undead proprietors are still in the store….some-
  where.  NOTE:  Russ & Otis should be fast and 
  tough.
  46
  Bookstore:  An old, locally owned bookstore.  
  It seems to specialize in hard to find books and 
  smells musty.  Interestingly there are a couple of 
  “How to Survive A Zombie Apocalypse” survival 
  books.
  47
  Military Surplus Store: A full service military 
  surplus store.  Almost anything you could imagine 
  for outdoor survival can be found here.  No weap-
  ons but there are 2 pairs of night vision goggles in 
  good working order.
  48
  Dog Kennel:  A dog boarding facility.  No pets to 
  be found except Wompus, a Brittany (spaniel type 
  dog) whom is starving but friendly.  It’s obvious 
  he wants to be freed and if so he has very good 
  tracking skills and will growl if danger is around 
  the corner.
  49
  Dance Studio: A two story abode, behind the 
  door are 6 or 7 zombies…dancing.  More like the 
  “brain-dead shuffle” than actual dancing.  There 
  a variety of costumes (mostly ladies) and a few 
  balance bars lying about.
  D66 Zombie Apocalypse  Random Contents,  Buildings & Encounters By Brett
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
  63
  63
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  50
  Cleaning Supplies:  A room full of cleaning sup-
  plies.  Rags, mop/bucket, glass cleaner, furniture 
  polish, floor wax, etc.
  51
  Computer Store:  A variety of desktops and lap-
  tops on display plus miscellaneous peripherals.  
  Internet is working here; time to update your 
  Facebook status to “Still Alive”.
  52
  Tattoo Parlor:  Looks to be the home of a first 
  class ink slinger.  Very high quality work and 
  samples shown on the wall.  Shop is called 
  “Needleskins”.  There is a sawed off shotgun 
  under the front counter.
  53
  Bicycle Shop: Shimano, Diamondback, Mongoose 
  and 4 very athletic looking zombies wandering 
  about.
  54
  New Age Store:  Several racks of new age / renais-
  sance style clothing, a few bookshelves on every-
  thing from Wicca to Astrological Geomancy.  Of 
  particular note the Nag Champa incense seems 
  to mask the odor of the living from the dead (go 
  figure).
  55
  Burned Out:  Whatever this once was is now just 
  a smoldering, crumbling husk of its former func-
  tion.
  56
  Pizza Joint:  Welcome to Tony’s!  Home of da 
  largest pepperoni pizza!  Come on in, have a seat.  
  Pay no attention to the chef in the back…he’s 
  dead…undead!
  57
  Twinkie Storeroom:  That’s right…Twinkies.  A 
  lot of them.  Enjoy.
  58
  Construction Office:  This is a foreman’s office.  
  Construction diagrams and paperwork are scat-
  tered on a desk.  Useful items include a couple of 
  hard hats, heavy jackets and boots.  There is also 
  a small toolbox.  It’s locked and has 2 sticks of 
  dynamite inside (was used for blasting rock at the 
  nearby construction site).
  59
  Weapons Cache: 2 x 12ga. Shotguns (60 shells), 
  1 x .223 Remington Rifle (20 rounds), 3 x large 
  bowie knives
  60
  Under Construction:  This room is under con-
  struction.  Painting supplies, ladders and scaffold-
  ing are the only things here.
  61
  Horde:  There are 7 zombies standing in this 
  room.  They are hungry and will aggressively 
  pursue.
  62
  Spatula City: Offering only the finest selection of 
  spatulas!  A kitchen goods store.
  63
  Fireworks Cache:  An assortment of fireworks is in 
  wooden crates.  
  64
  Backdraft:  A small fire has started in this room 
  and the hallway beyond.  If the door is opened a 
  backdraft will occur and whoever has opened the 
  door will be hit with a fireball.  There is a bit of 
  smoke seeping out at the bottom of the door to 
  this room as clue that there is danger.  The door-
  knob is also hot.
  65
  TV Studio:  A local TV studio newsroom.  All the 
  equipment appears to be working and broadcast 
  capable if you know how to run it.
  66
  Zombie Trap Room:  Someone attempted to make 
  this room into a zombie trap.  At the bottom of 
  the door threshold is a small wire.  If not noticed 
  and tripped it sounds an audible alarm.  There is 
  a pile of rotting meat (steaks, hamburger) in the 
  middle of the room.  The trap designer was stupid 
  apparently.
  D66 Zombie Apocalypse  Random Contents,  Buildings & Encounters By Brett
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  1
  An original sheet of music missing from the middle of a famous composer’s opus. Composer has been unable to 
  remember what was on the sheet, and the Duke is expecting him to play at the end of the week.
  2
  Original communist manifesto written by unnamed author. Desired by jaded aristocrats as object of amuse-
  ment.
  3
  Prototype lightbulb. Works really well for 10 seconds.
  4
   Scientific paper on the principal of electromagnetic induction.
  5
  Cipher for the latest criminal language, “Braille”.
  6
  Experimental, but non-functioning, car engine.
  7
  Cigarette trading card signed by champion pugilist.
  8
  List of “Feelings” written by highly regarded romanticist poet. Contains several feelings not yet experienced 
  by the illiterate.
  9
  Blurry sepia photograph of nation’s most wanted criminal, presumed dead, yet holding yesterday’s newspaper.
  10
  Commemorative collectable coin celebrating the end of slavery.
  11
  Brass and pewter liquor set, decorated as a black slave carrying a barrel of liquor on his back, each hand ap-
  pearing to hold a rope that acts as a tray supporting 4 shot glasses each.
  12
  Opera glasses made of mother-of-pearl, brass trim.
  13
  Domino set with pieces, all finely carved from bone.
  14
  Fine set of Chinese Imari.
  15
  Watch stand with silver moon statue set on top.
  16
  Ivory tray with hand-carved floral decoration.
  17
  Ivory tantalus.
  18
  Sturdy wooden camera box.
  19
  Gilded snuff box in the shape of a horn.
  20
  Steel folding dirk with decorative bone handle.
    19th & Early 20th 
  Century Treasure
  by Chris Lawson
  chris.xavier.lawson@gmail.com
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A list of 19th or early 20th century treasure items for 
  1st - 3rd level play. That is valued between 50 - 500Gp.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  G. L.
   19th & Early 20th  Century Treasure by Chris Lawson
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  1
  Cracked brown leather straps with locking buckles
  2
  Brown leather straps, chewed through
  3
  Rusty and bloody metal medical gag designed to 
  hold the mouth open
  4
  Tight insane scrawls in a made-up language 
  (roll d6)
       1 - covering the floor of the room
       2 - covering d4 walls of the room
       3 - covering the lower d6+6 inches of each wall
       4 - covering the back of the door
       5 - covering the ceiling
       6 - in d4 tight 18-inch circles
  5
  Collection of creepy letters from a patient to a staff 
  member (d6)
       1 - one-way obsessive love affair
       2 - detailed descriptions of how the patient will  
             kill and eat the staff member
       3 - romantic letters with details of past trysts
       4 - fetishistic erotica about the staff member’s 
            equipment
       5 - begging for release
       6 - roll again twice
  6
  Small wooden box full of dead insects
  7
  A mysterious ring of keys
  8
  Rusty iron manacles
  9
  A finger, strangely mummified
  10
  A map of the asylum, including several secret 
  rooms that don’t exist
  11
  Map to a shallow grave just outside the grounds
  12
  Psychoactive mold that produces auditory 
  hallucinations in it’s victims
  13
  Trepanning kit
  14
  A knife covered in flakes of dried blood, wrapped in 
  old paper that describes how this is the only 
  weapon that can slay the dark saint
  15
  Hand-scrawled book bound with locks of human 
  hair titled De Vermis Mysteriis
  16
  A whiff of ammonia, and something darker...
  17
  A shank made of scrap metal and bits of cloth
  18
  Human bite marks (d4)
       1 - on the furniture
       2 - on the doorknob
       3 - on the walls
       4 - on a body
  19
  Painting on the wall and floor looks like the 
  shadow of something disturbing
  20
  Spiders, lots of spiders
  21
  Old and bloodied instructions for using the 
  trepanning kit
  22
  A stained straightjacket (d4)
       1 - bloodstained
       2 - urine stains
       3 - mildew stains
       4 - cooking sauce
  23
  Broken glass vials
  24
  Vials of dried blood
  25
  A scrap of paper with “I’ve hidden the goods in this 
  very space” scrawled on it
  26
  A pair of cracked and rotted leather gloves
  27
   A posture collar and head restraint
  28
  Chastity belt (female chastity device) (d3)
       1 - still has a pelvic bone in it
       2 - blood-encrusted
       3 - adorned with terrifying spiky bits 
  29
  Chastity cage (male chastity device) (d4)
       1 - of inordinate size
       2 - covered in scrapes and bite marks from 
             rodents
       3 - with a dessicated piece of flesh within it
       4 - pristine condition in a glass case
  30
  Vial of hemlock juice (d3)
       1 - dried up
       2 - still sealed
       3 - sealed but tainted
  Things Found in the 
  Abandoned Asylum
   by Dyson Logos
  dyson.logos@gmail.com
  http://rpgcharacters.wordpress.com
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A d12 or more list of “things” you’d find in an old 
  abandoned asylum/hospital.
  Thanks, 
   
   
  A. F.
  Things Found in the  Abandoned Asylum  by Dyson Logos
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  20 gadgets and 4 inventors to mix and match as you 
  like.  i tried to go with a pulp/ retro sci fi  feel on them 
  but they would work also as found artifacts in a game 
  of suitable gonzoness, most have charges or durations, 
  some are just wacky, all of them with an airship would 
  be a awesome loot find for the criminally bent type or a 
  clockwork dragon
  ROLL 1d20, find the number below.
  Doktor Claudia von Helmer was a brilliant 
  research scientist with the 4th core munition battalion 
  of the emperors own lions and developed many gadgets 
  that were tested in the field during military and explora-
  tion service. She led a failed coup against the emperor in 
  the winter of sorrows and was rumored to have been put 
  to death by jellyfish and her research declared outlaw 
  and destroyed. what remains are classified as artifacts at 
  this time 
  1
  V-67 wing suit
  The V-67 “Vulture” wing-suit was designed for 
  high altitude ingress into hostile areas. It is com-
  posed of a bone white bag stamped with the words 
  V-67 experimental, inside is a black and rust 
  colored silk suitt, head covering with goggles,  with 
  wings attached to the arms and feet. there is a 457 
  page manual on its operation that tells you how 
  to “fly” with it by jumping off of high areas and 
  “gliding” on the thermals. advanced skills needed 
  to operate without extreme danger.  allows limited 
  flight with running start and no armor. 
  2
  Bettys Bouncing Bivouac 
  Developed as an emergency escape mechanism 
  and temporary shelter, this 100lb  red 3 foot round 
  plastic ball expands to 16 feet round when a cord 
  is pulled, a zippered and sealed hatch allows up to 
  8 people to sit inside in molded rubber chairs and 
  see outside through the walls. it is opaque from 
  the outside and has internal stabilizers , lighting 
  control and temperature control. It is a one use 
  item and can be punctured by projectiles or blades. 
  also included inside is limited fancy rations includ-
  ing  champagne , caviar, chocolate bars and several 
  books of Empire poetry. 
  3
  emergency sentry sl-2
  This 20 lb canister has numerous warning labels 
  about danger and timers and a key hole. an at-
  tached (perhaps) key turned in the hole will start 
  it transforming into a automatic defence sentry 
  attacking anything in a 50 foot radius, it takes 5 
  minutes to transform and is equipped with tear gas 
  and colored smoke launcher, mini machine gun 1d3 
  blast, infravision recorder, flashing  red lights and 
  loudspeaker playing loud Empire Opera. it has no 
  movement but sits on an expanded tripod guarding 
  an area silently  until its batteries deplete (a long 
  time) it also has several anti tampering devices and 
  a small parachute. 
  4
  auto-scribe,  field duty, wired control
  This looks like a heavy metal book with a wire 
  coming out attached to a head set, 10 lbs, what it 
  does is transcribe the headset wearers thoughts, vi-
  sions, smells, life signs into a thermal written work 
  inside the metal pages of the book. these are a one 
  use item because if the book is opened (seals and 
  screws) it will stop recording the headset wearers 
  thoughts and form a permanent thermal  printed 
  journal of what has happened. it can be reset but 
  will wipe clean any writings. tampering might 
  cause electric shock 
  5
  Mag-no Shield
  an arm mounted trapezoidal shield 10lbs covered 
  in a dense ceramic with impeded coil on the outside 
  in the shape of a Empirical Jesters Head. There is 
  a thumb switch that when activated will magnetize 
  the outside of the shield for a short burst (5sec) that 
  will pull and grab any metal and magnetizable 
  object up to 5 lbs, daggers, arrows, small swords 
  and the such. It was developed and given to troops 
  stationed in areas with primitive metal weapons. 
  must be recharged daily through a power cord and 
  has been known to cause adverse effects to compass 
  readings 
   
  (cont on next page)
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  “a random table of super-science “magic” items and the 
  mad geniuses that designed them.
  Thanks,  
   
   
  E. H.
  Super Science Magic Items 
  and the Mad Geniuses Who 
  Created Them
  by James Aulds
  chicory@gmail.com
  http://misanthropicharlot.blogspot.com
  Super Science Magic Items and the Mad Geniuses Who Created Them by James Aulds
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Proffesor Jacobius Corwin was a criminal mas-
  termind and inventore in the City-Under and is rumored 
  to have been responsible for some of the greatest heists 
  of the century. His gang of explorer-thieves hold their 
  technology dear, and will go to all means to recover lost 
  pieces of his legacy. 
  6
  ray ring
  A small finger ring with a round stone setting that 
  twists like a dial. when activated by a small hid-
  den lever on the side it emits a short range blast 
  ray in a 15 foot wide by 5 foot deep arc. these were 
  developed as one shot hidden weapons for spies 
  and criminals and once fired will not be removable 
  until recharged which involves draining 1d4 ran-
  dom stats a day by 1d4 points for two consecutive 
  days. these are temporary stat loses which will be 
  regained when the ring is removed. the dial sets the 
  type of ray at GM’s discretion, but it always has at 
  least 3 types. it must be worn to be fired and is blast 
  effect area short range.  
  7
  eye band
  A three inch metal head band with rotating and 
  spinning gems (glass) inside that when worn allow 
  the wearer 360 vision, in low light or darkness they 
  glow with a faint purple light. The wearer also 
  can “see” bodily fluids even if dried of humanoids. 
  wearing it for more than a few minutes will cause 
  vertigo, nausea, and dizziness until the wearer has 
  adapted (several weeks)
  8
  spray rope
  A fire extinguisher shaped device that will dispense 
  almost 250 feet of almost unbreakable rope like 
  substance. the rope is sticky for easy climbing but 
  will dissipate into powder in 12d12 hours depending 
  on humidity. when the trigger is release it neatly 
  cuts the rope at the dispenser. the rope is also high-
  ly flammable as the container is also under pressure 
  and highly explosive if punctured. 
  9
  translator pill
  a one inch purple translucent pill filled with 
  small metal shavings. once ingested it allows the 
  swallower to understand and speak and language 
  listened to or read for 1d4 days. during this time 
  the character can only communicate in the learned 
  language and has no recollection of it after the 
  effects wear off. 
  10
  NightStalkers multi-belt
  A metal girdle with several sealed metal pouches. 
  if a pouch is turned to the front and activated a tool 
  will appear and operate. functions are lockpick 
  drill, throwing star chamber (three) , glitter smoke 
  bomb(one use), climbing harness attachment (no 
  rope) , glass cutter, pepper spray (one use) flashing 
  signal beacon, inflatable life preserver (one use) 
  caltrop dispenser ( two uses) and one injection of  
  frenzy #5 which will activate if wearer reaches 0 
  hp and allow them to continue fighting for 1d12 
  rounds before they go into a stabilizing coma. note 
  all items are attached to belt with exception of 
  throwing stars , caltrops and life preserver. 
  Al-Bluglium Jones-Kiev is a well known travel-
  er and explorer know for collecting maps and artifacts 
  from several places in the time stream. His last known 
  whereabouts were the Peak of Desolation on the great 
  southern continent. many patents for his various devices 
  are disputed among the the Tinker Guilds as violations 
  of IP law in several jurisdictions
  11
  stasis bomb
  Developed for studying specimens in the wild this 
  failed experimental grenade like object of blue 
  glass with a timing dial will harmlessly burst forth 
  a stasis field causing all living things inside to 
  freeze in place for 2d6 minutes, burst are 20 feet. 
  working on a time spacial hyper theory, they will 
  have no memory of anything while in stasis and 
  can not be harmed as they are there but not there, 
  they can be neither moved or restrained but non 
  living objects they hold or wear may be removed
  12
  pursuit-wheel, offroad
  Developed for big game hunting in the sordid 
  wastes these look like a large caged  wheel 15 
  feet round and 6 feet wide have two seats and an 
  internal stabilizer and gyroscope that work as fast 
  transportation for a driver and passenger. both 
  are required to wear helmets with visors that steer 
  the vehicle wheel and adjust speed. payload 875 
  pounds and speeds up to 85 miles and hour. they 
  are self charging while moving but sometimes 
  hampered by terrain. a 1,350 page operators and 
  repair manual is located in a compartment under 
  the main seat. 
  Super Science Magic Items and the Mad Geniuses Who Created Them by James Aulds
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  13
  transporter camera
  a tube with lenses set on a tripod connected by 
  pulsing hoses to a large metal box. designed for 
  transport of large scale supplies and men from 
  one area to another, it has two buttons on it. the 
  box has 6 compartments each with a light either 
  red for full or green for empty. it functions as a 
  camera teleporter that will scramble the atoms 
  of any movable objects living or not in its view, 
  roughly a 10 by 10 area and transport them to the 
  box, pushing the other button rematerializes them 
  unharmed. the whole unit weighs about 100 lbs. 
  for fun sometimes time stream demons are already 
  in the box  :)
  14
  whistling meanies arm launcher
  This looks like a giant chrome fist drilled with 
  about 40 small holes in the knuckles, you place 
  your hand inside and strap it on there is a large 
  lever on top that your other hand can pull. once 
  every 5 mins after you pull the lever for d6 times 
  before needing a recharge, 2d20 tiny ball of light 
  come screaming out of the holes, causing a whis-
  tling in the air and trialing a smoke cloud. they 
  are hard to aim as they all come out at the same 
  time and kinda fly around in spirals toward the 
  target. each must be rolled to hit separately and do 
  one point of damage and have a chance of catching 
  things on fire on contact. it is quite the lightshow . 
  7lbs, complicated to reload
  15
  xl-345 remote viewing set
  This device consists of two parts, a eyeless hood 
  that goes over your head with knobby projections 
  all over the outside, it will shrink or stretch to fit 
  and a propeller driven rocket shaped device that 
  is fired out of a tube mounted at 45 degrees on a 
  steel plate 25lbs whole set.   the rocket is mind 
  controlled and fairly silent  and has a range of 25 
  miles. it is controlled by the wearer of the hood, 
  who can see what it sees during flight. flight 
  time is 1d6 x10 minutes.  while the hood is on the 
  “viewer” can do nothing else and can not hear or 
  see his surroundings
   
  Conrad the Bold was the son of a traveling tinsmith 
  and money changer who grew up with a sociopathic bent 
  on the norm, his inventions are sought by the macabre 
  collector and underground museum world wide. some say 
  he still operates a hidden factory and research lab in the 
  swamps of the eastern marche
  16
  area atomizer
  This small device looks like a 4 spouted tea kettle, 
  liquids can be poured in the top and an internal 
  atomizer will condense and then vaporize any 
  liquid causing it to form a cloud in a 5 foot area. 
  anything from poison to potions can be poured 
  in and will be amplified to affect anyone in that 
  5 foot area, hoses can be attached for individual 
  servings. there is a % chance that potions might be 
  diluted or increased due to viscosity and it is not 
  a lingering effect but rather a quick poof of atom-
  ized liquid and quickly dissipates
  17
  transparent mesh armor
  Standard issue to the Monks of the Silent Morase, 
  this mesh vest is composed of transparent crystal 
  links and functions as normal chainmaile against 
  most weapons. if hit with energy weapons or at-
  tacks, such as fire, plasma, electricity, cold, shad-
  ow or the like it protects as platemaile and absorbs 
  1d6 damage, it does have a chance of breaking if 
  it absorbs more than its protection in damage and 
  can not be repaired. it is said to be vat grown in 
  the swamps of the eastern marche
  18
  Bio-Bugs
  These mechanical bugs come in a metal crate 
  the size of a breadbox and contain 2d12 bugs that 
  are functioning, they will swarm out of the box 
  if opened and drill into the nearest huminoids 
  causing a feeling of euphoria and well being.  each 
  humanoid so infected will be able to know tele-
  pathically the well being of others infected by 
  bugs of the same swarm such as health levels and 
  emotions. upon death of the bugs 12 to 48 hours 
  later, they will release eggs inside the human host 
  that will only hatch upon death of the host
  19
  sonic shield
  In the form of a ceramic bracer on the arm with a 
  pulsing red button, this device will emit loud thun-
  dering sound waves if activated that will turn nor-
  mal missiles that are approaching, arrows, dag-
  gers, pumpkins and the such. it is a passive device 
  until it detects the incoming missiles, it will not 
  deflect anything faster than sound and only has a 
  75 percent chance of deflecting. the sound emitted 
  will deafen anyone within 10 feet not also wearing 
  a bracer and can cause rockslides and avalanches 
  20
  liquid suit. 
  this is a stoppered and sealed gallon bucket, if the 
  contents are poured over a humanoid they will be 
  able to freely act and swim in any non harmful liq-
  uid as the the contents form a sheen around them. 
  this includes water breathing, effects last one hour 
  but can be destroyed by sonic or fire damage. while 
  encased in the suit , wearer will leave wet foot and 
  hand prints and can breath normal air
  Super Science Magic Items and the Mad Geniuses Who Created Them by James Aulds
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  TREASURE & MAGIC ITEMS 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Drunk Gnolls 
  (illustations throughout 
  this section)
  By Jack Harper 
  jackharper13@gmail.com
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  An adult-beverage-drinking gnoll. Mayhaps this gnoll 
  is dressed in a manner unfit for traditional gnoll-
  filled settings!
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  J. K.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Drunk Gnolls illo 1 By Jack Harper
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Shifty/Spurious/Weird 
  Enterprise Generator
  by Noah Stevens
  stevens.noah1@gmail.com
  http://noahms456.blogspot.com/
  Wherever laws, rules, and standards propagate wildly or 
  become lax, therein fortunes can be generated.  A simple 
  transaction or bright idea can lead to a lifetime of wealth 
  or endless reparations and penance in the lowest circles 
  of Abaddon.
  D20
  Column A:
  Nature of the Market
  Column B:
  Nature of the Enterprise
  Column C:
  (Im)Material Basis
  Column D2:
  Time Frame?
  Bonus Column 
  (use caution)
  1
  Legal
  Sale
  Bridges
  Retroactive
  Dragons
  2
  Illegal
  Purchase
  Souls
  Seasonal
  Dark Elves
  3
  Suspect
  Trade
  Thoughts
  Weekly
  Krakens
  4
  Official
  Speculative
  Dreams
  Monthly
  Liches
  5
  Licensed
  Investment
  Wishes
  Lunar Cycle
  Unseelies
  6
  Charity
  Distributed Risk
  Bones
  Archaeological
  Unicorns
  7
  Not-For-Profit
  Insured
  Grave Goods
  Paleontological
  Lost Cities
  8
  Crowd-sourced
  Protective Against 
  Pelts/Hides
  Annual
  Youth 
  Potions
  9
  Regulated
  Data Modeling
  Rare/Common Ore
  Yearly
  Aliens
  10
  Deregulated
  Research
  Refined Metal
  Holiday – major race
  Old Ones
  11
  Black-Market
  Design
  Blueprints
  Holiday – minor race
  Great Old 
  Ones
  12
  Gray-Market
  Public Relations
  Rights
  Holiday – ancient/
  dead culture
  Cthulhu 
  Himself
  13
  Knock-Off
  Politics (honest/otherwise)
  Bodies (Dead)
  Next migration of 
  The King of 
  Elfland
  14
  Bootleg
  Influential Access
  Bodies (Living)
  Before the death of 
  Serpent Men
  15
  Post-market
  Fabrication
  Organs
  Contingent upon elec-
  tion of
  Banthas
  16
  Bartered
  Outright Fabrication
  Official Documents
  Conditional upon out-
  come of local sporting 
  event
  The New 
  World
  17
  Inter-dimensional
  Falsification
  Meteors
  Death of the Last
  Camelot
  18
  Sanity-Blasting
  Forgery/Counterfeit
  Wavelengths
  Return of the Old Ones
  Oz/Carcosa
  19
  Innocence-Wreck-
  ing
  Delivery
  Roll Again
  Resurrection of
  Ys
  20
  Volunteer
  Harvesting
  Choose 2
  When the Prophet 
  Returns
  Zeta Retic-
  uli
   
   
   
   
   
  Choose or roll 1 or more qualities from Column A, as 
  many as needed for Column B, and again for Column C.  
  An optional time-frame may be applied from Group D2.  
  Pay no attention to the Bonus Column – it is leaked DLC 
  and may contain serious bugs.  If a result is nonsensical, 
  try it anyway or roll again as needed.  The judge may 
  make a secret check to determine the profitability or loss 
  of such a scam/legitimate business, and whatever entities 
  or organizations may take notice.
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A “weird business ventures” table. Preferably 
  multiple-roll, mixed-elements type dealio.
  Thanks, 
   
   
  J. H.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Shifty/Spurious/Weird  Enterprise Generator by Noah Stevens
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  THE CAPTAIN
  THE CREW
  1
  The Dread Harkonnor: a staggeringly large woman who wields 
  a massive hammer in one hand and carries a loaded cannon 
  under her other arm. She is always ready for a fight, but never 
  leaves the deck of her own ship (too large to risk ropes or 
  planks). She takes cruel pleasure in eating those she captures 
  on the high seas. Any lucky enough to survive her attack are 
  kept alive until they are cooked and fed to Harkonnor. Usually 
  stew, occasionally steaks.
  Just now: she and her crew have just captured two local fisher- 
  man. They are locked in the brig awaiting Harkonnor’s next 
  meal, but this doesn’t mean she won’t try and attack whomever 
  she comes across.
  A beleagured crew of 15: the members of this crew have 
  all been on the open seas for far longer than they can 
  remember, they are old (for pirates) and all sport various 
  manner of deformities and missing limbs. Peg legs, hook 
  hands, eye patches, if it can be lost, at least one of these 
  sailors has lost it. Despite their age and various states of 
  mutilation, however, these pirates are nonethe- less expe-
  rienced and cruel. They are competent sailors and solid 
  fighters.
  2
  Grim Tobey Custodio: Tobey fancies himself irresistibly attrac-
  tive, and takes extended shore leaves to attend society parties 
  and woo elligible (or non-elligle) women and men alike. He 
  keeps his crew well groomed and civil. Tobey will not admit to 
  piracy and takes affront if such is suggested.
  Just now: he is on his way to port, having just robbed an official 
  treasure ship, and is loaded down with goods. He and his 
  crew will hail any nearby ships and offer to sell these freshly 
  procurred goods (mostly ornamental furniture, though some 
  expensive weapons).
  A myriad crew of 45: this crew is not only profession-
  al sailors and ne’er-do-wells but also their families. 
  Spouses and children make up more than half of the 45 
  crew members, and the ship is often a rioutous babble of 
  different languages (the sailors and their families having 
  been collected from the furthest reaches of the world). 
  The dedicated sailors will be the first to fight, but if chal-
  lenged the children won’t hesitate to help. Should their 
  families be threatened, individual
  loyalties are likely to surface.
  3
  Olalessa of Wyns: She inherited her boat from her mother, 
  who raised her on the high seas. A natural sailor, Olalessa sees 
  all men as inhernetly inferior. She and her crew will attack 
  any passing ship, will steal all the cargo they can, will subdue 
  any males aboard, but Olalessa will have any females captured 
  thrown overboard to die.
  Just now: she and her crew have been at sea for too long a spell. 
  They are short on supplies, and headed for their home base—a 
  small and remote island.
  A curious crew of 5: the group aboard this ship are new 
  to the trade of piracy. Previously an adventuring party of 
  some note, they have forsaken their terrestial search for 
  gold and conquest for the sea following a debacle with an 
  aging statesman in a nearby coastal city. They are not the 
  most competent sailors, and handle their ship only ade-
  quately, but they are skilled in combat, and have access to 
  magical weapons, spells, and otherwise rare equipment.
  4
  Tharion “The Good” Loughman: Completely bald, and clad 
  in loose orange robes, he still holds to his decades old promise 
  of pacifism. He and his crew will attempt to board passing 
  ships, but will go to great lengths to not kill anyone. They 
  use bludgeons, ropes, nets and other non-lethal weapons. 
  They will always steal all the valuables they can, but leave 
  the plundered crew with just enough supplies to make it to the 
  nearest shore. If one of his crew mistakenly (or purposefully) 
  kills anyone, Tharion flies into a rage, and leaves the offender 
  tied up on the victims’ ship.
  Just now: he has just left a freshly plundered ship (just visible 
  on the horizon), though this won’t stop him from trying for 
  more.
  A damned crew of 9: these sailors are not real sailors at 
  all. They are corporeal shades animated by a magical 
  tome possessed by the captain. Each page in this tome can 
  bring such a shade into being, by having the description of 
  the shade written in the blood of a freshly sacrificed child. 
  If the page become illegible for any reason, the shade 
  dissipates. There are 10 pages in this magical volume, and 
  the captain has left the last blank. The 9 shades have been 
  conjured in three sets of triplets: with red, blue, and silver 
  skin respectively. The red triplets are tall and quick, able 
  fighters. The blue triplets are stout and long-armed, nat-
  ural sailors. The silver triplets speak every language and 
  can heal the other soldiers.
  Who is on this passing 
  pirate ship and what 
  were they just up to?
  by Patrick Davison
  patrick.davison@gmail.com
  http://updatesupdatesupdates.tumblr.com
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  a table (or tables) that determines who the captain and 
  crew of a passing pirate ship are, and what they were up 
  to before they were encountered.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  C. L.
   
  (roll 2d10 to find out)
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
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  5
  Mad Mada Gerig: She considers herself more a political revo-
  lu- tionary than a pirate. Though, this doesn’t stop her from 
  stealing or killing.
  Just now: she and her crew have just finished preparing a load 
  of fake cargo—barrels of grain with weapons hidden inside. 
  She means to smuggle them into a nearby heavily fortified 
  port town, and will stop any passing indepedent ship in order 
  to propose a bargain: take payment to sneak the barrels of 
  weapons into the port (Mada’s own ship isn’t welcome there). 
  If refused, Mada will insist the boat not dock for fear of being 
  reported.
  A motley crew of 12: this band of sailors has been brought 
  together by the promise of gold alone. Each carries his/
  her own equipment and armaments, and will compete 
  with the others for spoils. Vicious fighters, these pirates 
  can nonetheless be bought out, should the prospect of 
  force become too daunting. If slain or captured, the sleep-
  ing quarters of each holds a lockbox filled with consider-
  able currency.
  6
  Gordie: The size of his adam’s apple is matched only by the size 
  of his nose. Gordie is a morose fellow who speaks slowly, but 
  moves with surprising quickness.
  Just now: he and his crew have just suffered a terrible defeat at 
  the hands of another local pirate (roll again to find out who!) 
  and their ship is now in tatters. Gordie’s only prioirity is to 
  comman- deer the nearest passing ship. He and his crew will 
  not kill unnecessarily, but instead will leave the survivors on 
  their own crippled and partially water-logged ship.
  A imposing crew of 8: this group has taken to the seas 
  only to flee the gladiatorial arena at which they were all 
  previously imprisoned. They are terrible sailors to a one, 
  barely able to keep their vessel afloat. However, they are 
  terribly effective fighters, trained for years in order to 
  excel at bloodsports. Each of this crew can easily take on 
  multiple opponents at once. Terrified of being returned to 
  bondage, these 8 will not hesitate to do whatever neces-
  sary to stay free.
  7
  The Prelider: Wrapped in strips of cloth and bandages, wear-
  ing gloves, hat, and goggles, none have seen the Prelider’s face. 
  He/she communicates to the crew through written notes and a 
  pidgin sign-language. The Prelider sails on every boat he/she 
  can, and always kills everyone aboard. Supplies and riches are 
  looted, and the victim’s boat is torched.
  Just now: smoke rises from the horizon, where the last ship thus 
  sacked burns and sinks slowly into the sea.
  An eerie crew of 13: none of these sailors speak. Whether 
  through injury or choice is unclear, but none of them 
  ever make a sound. Each has a tattoo on the back of the 
  neck—the numbers 1 through 13 in a dark purple. In com-
  bat they will attack quickly, and then appear to retreat, 
  luring any unwise enough to follow back to their heavily 
  booby-trapped ship. The corridors of which are even more 
  dangerous than the crew themselves.
  8
  Gusta Greenwood Bates: Gusta is in it for the thrill. Too young 
  for true captain-hood, he goads his crew into ramming other 
  ships, not aiming to plunder or murder, but simply to destroy. 
  He takes incredible pleasure in outrunning other ships, sailing 
  were none other dare, and he never turns down a bet. He is 
  brash and an excellent fighter. He has lost his left eye, and two 
  fingers on his right hand. He is covered in tattoos and curses at 
  every opportu- nity.
  Just now: he and his crew have been gambling and drinking 
  and are drunk beyond measure.
  A professional crew of 20: these sailors are just that: 
  sailors. Having perfected their craft in more above-board 
  ventures- military vessels, merchant ships—they sail 
  better than almost any other. They can make a slow ship 
  sprint, and a fast ship seem to fly. They can outmaneuver 
  2 ships at once, and weather the worst storm. They are, 
  however, less competent in hand to hand combat, and will 
  always seek to use the maneuvers of their ship to grant 
  them the largest advantage, and will not refuse to flee if 
  overpowered.
  9
  Nyden Da’lar: She is always serious and allows no margin of 
  error from her crew.
  Just now: She has just sailed from a faraway kingdom where 
  she has been tasked with kidnapping a person of interest (secret 
  prince? merchant’s daughter? fleeing criminal?). She stops and 
  investigates every passing ship. She and her crew will board 
  hostiley, but will not kill indiscriminantly (this person must 
  be taken alive). Should she find who she’s looking for, she 
  will cripple the victims’ ship, and speed to her destination, the 
  person-thus-saught-after tied up in the brig.
  An unsteady crew of 24: these sailors are divided. While 8 
  of the bucaneers are unflaggingly loyal to the captain, the 
  other 16 have begun to be swayed by one of their own and 
  begun to plot a mutiny. If the situation arises during and 
  encounter, Enoch the Grey will call those loyal to him to 
  strike at the captain and those loyal, planning to coman-
  deer the ship in total. If Enoch takes control he is most 
  likely to leave any other ships alone, as he is most intent 
  on taking those loyal to him back to their homeland.
  10
  Giegan of The Vast: stands near to 7 feet tall with a long shock 
  of white beard. He carries a huge conch horn strapped to his 
  chest. Just now: He and his band are on their way back to their 
  home base (a secret cave off the coast) but are so-far empty 
  handed. They will attempt to extort goods from whatever 
  ship that passes and if threatened or refused, Giegan will blow 
  the conch and summon a great tentacled sea beast known as 
  Karathorak to attack the offending ship. Karathorak obeys the 
  will of anyone who blows the conch, and will attack withouth 
  mercy until dead or ordered away.
  An unlikely crew of 10: in addition to these 10 pirates 
  (all of whom are quite experienced) this vessel also holds 
  a young girl named Ghio. Unknown to any of the crew, 
  Ghio is actually the real power behind the ship. She is 
  a much older woman, cursed to reside in the body of a 
  young girl, who uses her complete psychic control over the 
  captain to lead the crew. Inspite of whatever the captain 
  tells the crew are their goals, Ghio actually is using them 
  to search for a remedy to her curse—and unknown object 
  which she believes someone will be smuggling by ship.
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Drunk Gnolls 
  (illustations throughout 
  this section)
  By Jack Harper 
  jackharper13@gmail.com
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  An adult-beverage-drinking gnoll. Mayhaps this gnoll 
  is dressed in a manner unfit for traditional gnoll-
  filled settings!
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  J. K.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Drunk Gnolls illo 2 By Jack Harper 
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  HENCHMAN EVENTS, 
  DEVELOPMENTS, PLOT 
  HOOKS, AND 
  PROBLEMS
  by Alec Semicognito 
  (http://myosr.blogspot.com/)
  HOW TO USE THESE TABLES
  However you want!  They can define actual role-play-
  ing personalities, generate subplots, present interesting 
  complications, or just add color to an adventure.  But 
  whatever you use them for, I’ve designed them to be used 
  in succession over the career of a henchman.  
  At the beginning of each session, roll once for each 
  henchman in the party on the appropriate table, as 
  follows: 
  Henchman’s first adventure:  NEW HENCHMAN 
  table
  Henchman is Level 1-3:  alignment table (CHAOTIC, 
  NEUTRAL, LAWFUL)
  Henchman is Level 4+:  class table (CLERIC ETC., 
  THIEF ETC., FIGHTER ETC., MAGIC-USER 
  ETC.)
  Fit the result into the natural flow of game events at 
  an appropriate point.  (Some results will specify a time 
  point, such as “after the first combat,” but do what feels 
  best.)  These results can’t really be repeated with a given 
  group of players, so re-roll if it’s something they’ve 
  already seen.  
  Notes:
  I’ve assumed a D&D-esque system but have left things 
  loose enough that it should be easy to adapt these tables 
  to your particular circumstances while playing.  
  I’ve used the word “master” for the PC to whom a 
  henchman is attached — it’s a bit strong, but no much 
  better word occurred to me while writing. 
  I limited the alignment tables to the chaos-law axis be-
  cause I felt good and evil henchman deeds were just not 
  as interesting or “human.”
  Note on the first table - These results are meant to re-
  flect the henchman learning to fit into the party, possi-
  bly unsure what he thinks of his new situation, possibly 
  lacking confidence in his abilities, possibly overdoing 
  things a bit.  They don’t have to be seen as permanent 
  character traits — the guy may settle down after his first 
  outing.  
  If you don’t want your PCs to have to deal with break-
  ing in new guys, skip this table for your new guys and 
  use the alignment or class tables instead (depending on 
  henchman level).
  NEW HENCHMAN (first adventure)
  1
  Afraid to do anything he’s not specifically told to 
  do, no matter how obvious it is.  In combat, anoth-
  er party member has to be paying attention to him 
  and to give him clear orders, or he will fight only 
  when attacked. 
  2
  Usually complains about problems but never offers 
  solutions 
  3
  Usually wants to go first and is very “can do”
  4
  Usually wants to go last and is extremely cautious
  5
  Nervous and on edge:  harder to surprise, easier to 
  panic
  6
  Doesn’t get it:  messes up the first order he’s given 
  from simple confusion and cluelessness
  7
  Takes everything literally, doesn’t hear sarcasm or 
  irony, will believe practically anything he hears.  
  Ripe for teasing and pranks by senior henchmen.
  8
  Will nurse a grudge against anyone who corrects 
  him or speaks harshly to him
  9
  Will strive to please anyone who corrects him or 
  speaks harshly to him
  10
  Immediately after first combat of the adventure, 
  will start arguing that his share of treasure should 
  be increased
  11
  Will make a big show of not wanting as much trea-
  sure as he’s owed, but if this is actually accepted 
  will be shocked, sulk, and then ask for the rest of 
  his fair share
  12
  Totally competent, pays attention, makes things 
  easier for everyone
  CHAOTIC HENCHMAN (Level 1-3)
  1
  Starts favoring another PC — the one with the 
  highest charisma — over his own master.  During 
  any discussions or debates, no matter how import-
  ant or how petty, the henchman will take the other 
  PC’s side in public over his master’s, whether the 
  other PC wants his support or not.  
  2
  Will disobey (to some degree) the second and fifth 
  orders he is given during the adventure, simply to 
  do things his own way.
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  Some nice random table(s) for henchmen events. 
  Stuff like Henchmen A of Player B had a argument with 
  Henchmen C, or Henchmen B did some (Thiefy/Magy/
  Fightery) thing with Henchmen D and so on.
  Something nice for either in between sessions or as 
  random events on the road. Something that gives the 
  numerous Followers some colour.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  F. H.
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  3
  Keeps trying to instigate conflict between two 
  random party members other than his master.  
  Attempts may be effective or far too obvious to suc-
  ceed, depending on relative intelligence, wisdom, 
  and charisma scores.
  4
  Feeling even more whimsical than usual.  Will 
  suggest leaving party decisions to chance (flipping 
  a copper piece, rolling a die, traveling in the direc-
  tion of the next bird that flies by, etc.).  Will want 
  to gamble for shares when dividing treasure.  
  5
  Impulsive:  just really wants to do battle today.  At 
  the first ambiguous situation where an encounter 
  may be hostile or peaceful, the henchman will at-
  tack unless somehow prevented/kept under control. 
  6
  Temporary quirk:  really thinks the party needs 
  more light.  Tries to carry two lit torches, insists 
  that everyone should have their own torch, tries to 
  invent a better torch, loudly wishes he had a lan-
  tern instead, etc.  (If this roll is repeated, substitute 
  a new obsession, such as being really quiet, having 
  enough arrows, etc.)
  7
  Temporary quirk:  develops a private crush on 
  a random party member.  Will act jilted by any 
  opposition or criticism from that person and corre-
  spondingly swoony at any praise from that person.  
  After this session, will completely forget the crush.
  8
  Feeling cantankerous:  will need to vent at his mas-
  ter after the battle the first time he is wounded or 
  suffers some other setback.  Will seem very angry 
  but is actually just letting off steam and will feel 
  100% better if allowed to finish.
  NEUTRAL HENCHMAN (Level 1-3)
  1
  Forms genuine friendship with a henchman of 
  another PC in the party.  Role-play this out in any 
  situations involving both PCs.  If there is no other 
  henchman, he will befriend a PC other than his 
  master.
  2
  Wants to map everything on this journey, but has 
  little skill for it and includes areas that aren’t 
  important.  His mapping will slow party travel by 
  40% until he is ordered to stop mapping.  Actually 
  relying on his maps later has a 15% chance of get-
  ting the party lost, unless they have a ranger-type 
  with them.  
  3
  Likes luxury items and will prefer luxurious 
  clothes, silverware, furs, jewelry, etc. to other 
  forms of treasure.  Could even be manipulated into 
  accepting a share of lesser value if it includes such 
  goods.  
  4
  Feeling mildly anti-chaotic today.  Will be openly 
  annoyed by the antics of chaotic party members 
  and somewhat antagonistic toward them.
  5
  Feeling mildly anti-lawful today.  Will be openly 
  annoyed by the rigidity of lawful party members 
  and somewhat antagonistic toward them.
  6
  Stubbornly, vocally neutral today.  Will want to 
  tone down any actions that are distinctly lawful 
  or chaotic, always arguing for a milder course of 
  action.  Frustratingly vanilla.
  7
  Has some natural talent for conciliation and 
  negotiation.  Will help reduce friction created by 
  another result on these tables for another hench-
  man (or whatever may come up during play if there 
  is no other henchman); role-play it out.
  8
  Very disinterested for a member of an adventuring 
  party, undermining team spirit.  Other henchmen 
  face their first morale roll at -1 thanks to this 
  henchman’s disengagement.
  LAWFUL HENCHMAN (Level 1-3)
  1
  Suspicious that another party henchman is disloyal 
  or otherwise untrustworthy.  Will view nearly any 
  action by that henchman as confirming his sus-
  picions or else as an attempt to mask that hench-
  man’s true, untrustworthy nature. 
  2
  Gives pompous, unsolicited advice to neutral 
  characters, who are basically fine people but lack 
  discipline and self-control and could benefit from 
  his lecturing them
  3
  Blames himself for the first significant thing that 
  goes wrong (the death/wounding of a party mem-
  ber, a successful enemy ambush, failure to gain an 
  objective, getting involuntarily sidetracked).  May 
  need a pep talk or a swift kick in the ass to pull 
  himself together.
  4
  His loyalty and team play influence any neutral 
  henchmen in the party to be just a little more like 
  him today.  They roll +1 on a single morale check 
  that the lawful henchman has already passed.  
  (PCs are not affected by this.)
  5
  Extremely prompt in obeying orders today.  Once 
  a non-combat order is given, the henchman will 
  begin obeying it before it can be retracted by 
  the player.  Whether he also finishes before he 
  is stopped depends on how long the action takes 
  (DM’s discretion).  If no retraction is made, the 
  henchman will finish the task quickly, in only 75% 
  of the time it would normally take him. 
  6
  Less flexible thinker than usual today.  Will obey 
  orders only to the letter and will not adapt them to 
  fit changing circumstances (within reason).  Will 
  refuse to join in any efforts without his master’s 
  explicit OK (again, within reason — if his master 
  has been kidnapped, for instance, the henchman 
  won‘t wait for his orders).
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  7
  Subtly racist (species-ist, whatever) toward another 
  party member.  Assumes that person doesn’t under-
  stand plans, is cowardly, is brutish, is lazy, what-
  ever stereotypes seem appropriate.  Not blatant 
  contempt, but clear and persistent and quite likely 
  to build into a problem.  Will reverse his opinion 
  and feel bad about it if the other person aids him in 
  some particular way during the session.
  8
  Extra strong sense of duty today.  Eager to run 
  more risks than usual for his master (nothing sui-
  cidal, but dangerous is just fine).  DM’s discretion 
  how risky is too risky.
  CLERIC/DRUID/PRIEST/PALADIN ETC. (Level 
  4+)
  1
  Becomes fixated on converting a party member to 
  his own deity, choosing a party member with simi-
  lar alignment
  2
  Becomes fixated on converting a party member to 
  his own deity, choosing a party member of signifi-
  cantly different alignment
  3
  Is tempted toward the religion (and alignment) of 
  a higher-charisma party member, jeopardizing his 
  priestly powers
  4
  Sees what he insists is an omen, though the rest of 
  the party is pretty sure it’s just an ordinary event 
  (DM’s discretion as to who is right, if anyone)
  5
  Inspired by some event to take a religious oath that 
  may inconvenience the party (e.g., will not use a 
  shield, trusting his deity for protection; will not 
  kill prisoners; will not take prisoners; will not pray 
  for new spells without defeating at least one enemy 
  in the deity’s name)
  6
  Deeply worried over the possibility that after death 
  his master will not reach the afterlife promised by 
  his deity; constantly trying to bless, pray, counsel, 
  etc. against this possibility
  7
  Has minor guardian spirit taking an interest in him 
  for this adventure only.  The spirit will intervene 
  once, to allow a re-roll of the first roll to negative-
  ly affect the henchman.  (If the re-roll has a worse 
  result, go back to the first result.)
  8
  BONDED BY FAITH — Cares so deeply about 
  the party that his deity will double the effect of his 
  first healing spell cast on a party member
  THIEF/ROGUE/SPECIALIST ETC. (Level 4+)
  1
  Becomes disgruntled over division of the last batch 
  of treasure, complains and sulks
  2
  Becomes disgruntled over division of the last batch 
  of treasure, rebalances by stealing from other party 
  member
  3
  Becomes disgruntled over division of the last batch 
  of treasure, rebalances by stealing from own master
  4
  Attempts to steal item from party member as a 
  prank, giving item back at end of adventure if not 
  caught
  5
  Begins (possibly one-sided) feud with another party 
  thief over which of them is more daring and skill-
  ful
  6
  Sneaks away from party at first opportunity to steal 
  last major treasure that was seen but not taken
  7
  Becomes temporarily remorseful over life of crime, 
  bothers party cleric with moral questions; may 
  accept penance
  8
  EYES PEELED — Really wants to steal some-
  thing special on this outing and is very alert for an 
  opportunity.  The first item he steals is worth dou-
  ble the value it would have had without this table.
  FIGHTER ETC. (Level 4+)
  1
  Can’t stop thinking and talking about the castle he 
  will build when he’s a famous Lord
  2
  Suddenly inspired to give his weapon a name, 
  which he then proclaims loudly, ostentatiously, 
  and often (“Behold!”).  If the weapon already has a 
  name, he changes it.  This result can be repeated as 
  often as rolled.
  3
  Doesn’t really believe that party magic-user can’t 
  just enchant his weapon on the spot, so he keeps 
  asking, getting a little more peevish each time
  4
  Veteran in his own mind.  Adopts paternal attitude 
  toward a lower-level fighter, regaling them with 
  stories of his prowess and experience, offering to 
  show them moves, etc.  If there is no lower-level 
  fighter, adopts this attitude toward a non-fighter.
  5
  Overestimates his own abilities and doesn’t obey 
  right away the first time he receives orders to show 
  caution.  Will attack or refuse to flee unless some-
  how coerced or brought back into line (e.g., stern 
  orders with a charisma check for the PC).
  6
  Just flat-out brave.  His first failed morale check is 
  turned into a success.
  7
  Thinks his main role should be as bodyguard to 
  his master and will concentrate on protecting him 
  against physical attacks, perhaps to the detriment 
  of party goals.
  8
  IN THE ZONE — Like any athlete, this fight-
  er sometimes has moments where everything just 
  comes together and works.  His third attack after 
  the start of the adventure automatically hits and 
  does maximum damage.  (If the monster can’t be 
  hurt by his weapon, it isn’t, and after the combat 
  he’s upset that such a great attack didn’t work and 
  keeps reliving it in his mind.  “Did you see me?!”)
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  MAGIC-USER ETC. (Level 4+)
  1
  Becomes paranoid that other party magic-users 
  want to steal his spell book
  2
  Wants a spell that another party magic-user has 
  and he does not.  Will try repeatedly to gain this 
  spell by trade, wheedling, service, theft, or other-
  wise.
  3
  Lacks confidence that he can reliably control a 
  particular spell (choose randomly from his spell 
  book) and is hesitant to memorize or cast it
  4
  Becomes deeply afraid if at any point he runs out 
  of combat spells.  Will hide in the center of the 
  party, urge that the party flee to safety until he can 
  re-memorize spells, balk at entering scary-looking 
  places, etc.
  5
  Fixates on the first magic item found that’s usable 
  by magic-users and demands to own it.  May agree 
  to forgo other rewards for it; may throw tantrums, 
  make threats, etc.  Role-play it out.  
  6
  Has gotten the idea that magic-users are superior 
  to other people and is haughty and dismissive when 
  dealing with party members from other classes.  If 
  master is not a magic-user, becomes insubordinate.  
  7
  Absent-mindedly begins casting another randomly 
  chosen spell instead of the first one he tries to cast, 
  realizing his mistake after the first few words.  Can 
  decide either to cast the wrong spell or to abort 
  casting, requiring him to save versus spells to avoid 
  losing that spell until he re-memorizes it.
  8
  COSMIC INSIGHT — The magic-user’s equiv-
  alent of being IN THE ZONE (see fighter ta-
  ble).  The third spell the henchman casts in the 
  adventure will have twice its normal effect in some 
  positive way (damage, duration, level of creature 
  summoned, whatever, at the DM’s discretion).  If 
  an enemy must save against the spell, it does so at a 
  substantial penalty (-4).  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Drunk Gnolls 
  (illustations throughout 
  this section)
  By Jack Harper 
  jackharper13@gmail.com
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  An adult-beverage-drinking gnoll. Mayhaps this gnoll 
  is dressed in a manner unfit for traditional gnoll-
  filled settings!
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  J. K.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Drunk Gnolls illo 3 By Jack Harper 
  
  79
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Personalise your humanoid! Roll d100 for equipment and 
  again for qualifier.
  Example: 
  “You see three brigands!”
  Rolling 05 and 55: “the orc on the left is wearing blue 
  wristbands...”
  75 and 92: “the human in the middle is accompanied by 
  a shabby cat...”
  10 and 68: “and the goblin on his right is carrying a 
  cracked horn.”
  Occasionally the combinations may seem absurd - a 
  jewelled spider, say, or frilly kneepads - so feel free to 
  re-roll, or use your imagination to extrapolate why this 
  odd combination has come about.
  “The bandit leader has a weird-looking emerald taran-
  tula crawling on his shoulder, and you notice he has 
  bound the princess’s frilly handkerchief around a wound 
  on his knee.”
   
  is wear-
  ing:
  1
  ancient
  1
  bandage
  2
  bizarre
  2
  bandana
  3
  black
  3
  bandolier
  4
  bloody
  4
  bangle
  5
  blue
  5
  belt
  6
  broken
  6
  boots
  7
  brown
  7
  bracelet
  8
  chequered
  8
  brooch
  9
  coarse
  9
  cap
  10
  cracked
  10
  chain
  11
  crude
  11
  cloak
  12
  decorated
  12
  clogs
  13
  defective
  13
  coat
  14
  defiled
  14
  collar
  15
  dented
  15
  cowl
  16
  dirty
  16
  cravat
  17
  dishevelled
  17
  crown
  18
  dusty
  18
  earring
  19
  enamelled
  19
  eyepatch
  20
  encrusted
  20
  feathers
  21
  faded
  21
  furs
  22
  festive
  22
  gauntlets
  23
  filthy
  23
  girdle
  24
  foul
  24
  gloves
  25
  frilly
  25
  hat
  26
  furry
  26
  helm
  27
  gaudy
  27
  helmet
  28
  gigantic
  28
  hood
  29
  gleaming
  29
  hook
  30
  glittering
  30
  jacket
  31
  glowing
  31
  jerkin
  32
  golden
  32
  kilt
  33
  greasy
  33
  kneepads
  34
  green
  34
  locket
  35
  grey
  35
  mantle
  36
  grimy
  36
  mask
  37
  grubby
  37
  medal
  38
  gruesome
  38
  necklace
  39
  hissing
  39
  nose-ring
  40
  ill-fitting
  40
  poncho
  41
  incomplete
  41
  ring
  42
  indecent
  42
  robe
  43
  infested
  43
  sandals
  44
  inscribed
  44
  sash
  45
  jewelled
  45
  scarf
  46
  makeshift
  46
  shoes
  47
  mangy
  47
  shoulder 
  pads
  48
  mismatched
  48
  skullcap
  49
  mouldering
  49
  torc
  50
  mucky
  50
  trousers
  51
  muddy
  51
  vambrace
  52
  multico-
  loured
  52
  veil
  53
  nasty
  53
  wig
  54
  odd-shaped
  54
  wooden leg
  55
  oily
  55
  wristbands
  is car-
  rying:
  56
  orange
  56
  amulet
  57
  ornamented
  57
  backpack
  Each of Ten Thousand Orcs
  By Ash Haji
  ashh59@gmail.com
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A random monster equipment table that provides flavour (not, 
  in general, mechanics) to the hordes of enemies players will 
  mow down, so that I don’t have to say “”these are all orcs in 
  chain mail with axes””. I.e. 1: This monster has a cool hoop ear-
  ring. 2: This monster has a crutch. etc. For the sake of consis-
  tency we can probably limit it to humanoids.
  D20 would be good, d100 would be amazing.
  Thanks,   
   
   
  H.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Each of Ten Thousand Orcs By Ash Haji
  
  80
  80
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  58
  patched
  58
  bag
  59
  peculiar
  59
  bagpipes
  60
  perfumed
  60
  box
  61
  polished
  61
  bucket
  62
  poorly-re-
  paired
  62
  cage
  63
  psychedelic
  63
  cane
  64
  purple
  64
  coil of rope
  65
  ragged
  65
  crutch
  66
  rancid
  66
  drum
  67
  red
  67
  flute
  68
  ridiculous
  68
  horn
  69
  ripped
  69
  jug
  70
  rough
  70
  pole
  71
  rude
  71
  pot
  72
  rune-en-
  scribed
  72
  pouch
  73
  rusty
  73
  purse
  74
  savage
  74
  sack
  75
  shabby
  75
  shovel
  76
  showy
  76
  shrunken 
  head
  77
  silver
  77
  skull
  78
  skull-deco-
  rated
  78
  spade
  79
  slimy
  79
  staff
  80
  smelly
  80
  walking 
  stick
  81
  soggy
  81
  waterskin
  82
  spattered
  82
  whip
  83
  spotted
  83
  wineskin
  is dis-
  play-
  ing:
  84
  squalid
  84
  beard
  85
  squeaking
  85
  dreadlocks
  86
  stained
  86
  Mohican
  87
  sticky
  87
  moustaches
  88
  stinking
  88
  scar 
  89
  stolen
  89
  shaven 
  head
  90
  symbolic
  90
  tattoo
  91
  tacky
  91
  warpaint
  is 
  accom-
  panied 
  by:
  92
  unkempt
  92
  cat
  93
  untidy
  93
  fleas
  94
  unusually 
  large
  94
  flies
  95
  unusually 
  small
  95
  lizard
  96
  unwashed
  96
  maggots
  97
  vibrating
  97
  mongrel
  98
  white
  98
  parrot
  99
  yellow
  99
  snake
  100
  dilapidated
  100
  spider
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Each of Ten Thousand Orcs By Ash Haji
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  A short travelogue into the 
  Grand Duchy,
  with insights to the way of living and the 
  attitudes of it’s denizens
  by Christian Sturke 
  aka Rorschachhamster 
  http://rorschachhamster.wordpress.com
  As written by 
  Eregros of Hausenburg
  Speaker of the Western Parliament,
  Member of the Order of Tremendous Trouble, 
  Sage of the Seven Mountains,
  and Destroyer of the Beast of Barr
  Ok, here is the demand I, as humble servant of powers 
  higher than my mediocre self, was elevated to being 
  allowed to fulfill:
  „An interesting grand duchy.  The political unit next 
  door from the characters in my world is kind of form-
  less at the moment, and I’d like an interesting attribute 
  to differentiate it from the home base of the play-
  ers.  Strange religion, odd base to the economy, strange 
  political organization - just something to make it stand 
  out.“
  May the Gods let their merciful gaze rest upon you, my 
  dearest reader, 
  1
  and prevent you from ever having the necissity to 
  travel to the Grand Duchy, for I myself have seen 
  things, and, even worse, experienced the grue-
  some touch of said things in this dreaded, godless, 
  forsaken place, so you may be spared from these 
  horrid practical research in person.
  2
   and let you see the riches and spoils of the lost 
  coinage and rare magic, that I came to uncov-
  er in the Grand Duchy, that makes of every fat 
  merchant of my own humble country a peasant in 
  comparison, and made a man of no wordly worries 
  from your even more humble author. 
  3
   and let your own eyes see the treasures of arcane 
  knowledge, that are taken for granted by the 
  practitioners in this magical Grand Duchy, as a 
  ressource to be taken by the interested, almost free 
  and without repercussion.   
  4
   and may of the multitude of divine beings the one, 
  that is worshipped in the Grand Duchy, the Gold-
  en Boar, the Ebony Tusk have it’s wrathful rage 
  diverted elsewhere, at this land is his godly do-
  main, and he jealously protects it from everything 
  he deems a danger to his status as supreme being 
  here.
  When I first entered this place, I was pleasantly sur-
  prised by the view of rolling green hills and 
  light-flooded woods stretching into the horizont. The 
  passage into the Grand Duchy was made by one of the 
  old roads crossing the border, remnants of a better and 
  more civilized time under the cold, calculating gaze of 
  the Overlords from Uz. In fact, if it wasn’t for the ruins 
  and vestiges of this splendid and most elevated aera of 
  wisdom and sagedom, 
  1
  I haven’t dared to venture into this cesspool of sins 
  and blasphemies, all the more in contrast to it’s 
  ancient history.
  2
  there where no signs of the ancient treasures and 
  luxuries, that are buried just a few feet under the 
  soil of this blessed land and are there to be taken 
  from the bold and adventurous.
  3
  one would wonder how the rather simple clad and 
  minded people of this country came into posession 
  of such rare and insightful magics as are shown in 
  everyday conduct in stark contrast to the seemingly 
  wordly society.   
  4
  heathenly as it was,  there wouldn’t be signs of any 
  worship besides the Ebony Tusk, aside from a few 
  ill-maintained roadside shrines to gods of travel 
  and illicit behaviour, mostly errected by travellers 
  from outside the Grand Duchy, that frequently are 
  demolished, and rightly so, by frenzied „stiff-bris-
  tled“, as the rural clergy is commonly and affec-
  tionably called by their loving flock. 
  One of the mayor sights to behold are the Bitten Towers, 
  a vulgar expression used by the 
  1
  degenerate
  2
  fat and lazy
  3
  knowledgeable
  4
  elevated
  people in the Grand Duchies capital of Ergentown, the 
  old Turribi Admorsi. So called since ancient times for 
  their strange appearance of having a top of tilted crenel-
  ated battlements, always lower on the southside than on 
  the opposite, northern wall. Your servicable author, me 
  myself, took quite a few excursion into these
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  An interesting grand duchy.  The political unit next 
  door from the characters in my world is kind of form-
  less at the moment, and I’d like an interesting attri-
  bute to differentiate it from the home base of the 
  players.  Strange religion, odd base to the economy, 
  strange political organization - just something to make 
  it send out.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  J. B.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  A short travelogue into the Grand Duchy by Christian Sturke
  
  82
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  1
  vestiges of a better, more elevated time, only to 
  realize once again, that these places of erstwhile 
  greatness had been desecrated by unknown rites of 
  unhallowed blasphemy and unsacred conduct, as 
  evidenced by the bones and intestines of sacrificed 
  animals and, even more gruesome to behold, sen-
  tient species – once even those of a human child! 
  2
  money boxes out of ancient stones, as, even though 
  the most seemed to have been picked clear long 
  ago, there where at least one secret compartment, 
  one secret cellar, and sometimes even several secret 
  dungeon levels under them, that where filled with 
  treasure; as mundane as copper bars in goat pelt, 
  and as otherwordly as relicts and artifacts from 
  other dimensions. I still have a golden, artificially 
  engraved dagger of fire enshroudment I found in 
  the very first one I explored.
  3
  meeting places of the communities, that have grown 
  around them, places of learning, and open spell 
  exchange, without the irritable diplomacy between 
  powerfull spellcasters in our, perspectively unciv-
  ilized, parts of the world. I myself, and I’m a bit 
  ancious to admit this, out of fear, that my fellow 
  colleagues may think of me as a cheap spellmon-
  ger, traded a simple Lesser Sign of Sealing* against 
  Flamsterd’s Curtain of the Violet Conflagration*, 
  and the rotund, friendly fellow I dealt with was 
  afterwards eager to trade even more high circle 
  spells against mere cantrips. Such is the abundance 
  of spells and knowledge in the Grand Duchy!   
  4
  Re-dedicated, erstwhile places of heathen gods, that 
  now truly show the might of the Golden Boar in the 
  Grand Duchy, as everyone of them has a statue to 
  his likeness placed in the antechamber. Here the 
  grateful and devot people of the Grand Duchy hold 
  their weekly divine service, as well as they will 
  come together and attend on every and each of the 
  53 holidays, that are sacred to the Ebon Tusk: Slab-
  morning, New Year, Truffleday, Snoutmencing, the 
  Three Holy Days of the Wallow, and all the other, 
  minor ones.
  Allmost all the communities of the Grand Duchy are 
  gathered around these old towers, 
  1
  Showing the depraved nature of this condemned 
  place of demonologists and worse, huddling in 
  the shadowy proximity of these dark and doomed 
  buildings, that betray in their fallen state of blas-
  phemous conduct their glorious past so much more, 
  as a new temple dedicated to the outer terrors of 
  profanities, that are worshipped here nowadays all 
  but openly, ever could.
  2
  And still there are many riches to find, as even the 
  more adventurously inclined in between the youth 
  of the Grand Duchy seem to inherit a supernatural 
  fear of these buildings. All the more ripe for the 
  plundering, I say, for those who stand above such 
  idle superstitions, like your humble servant, the 
  author of these verses. 
  3
  Showing the great importance these friendly and 
  benign people place on the knowledge and the 
  learning of the fundamental truths in their lives. 
  They gather here, as often as more wordly obli-
  gations allow, to talk, dicuss and argue about all 
  the philosohical questions mankind has found no 
  answers to, but never will one raise their voice in 
  a heated argument or resolve, as ashamed I am to 
  admit, as it is customary in our own university and 
  order, ever to threaten bodily harm to their oppo-
  nent. Such friendly folk this is! 
  4
  testament to their deepfelt religious faith into the 
  ever bristled porcine being that is the Golden Boar, 
  which the people of the Grand Duchy raised right-
  fully to prominence above all the false gods of old, 
  that are so wrongly still held in veneration here in 
  my own home!
  I had to leave in a hurry, not surprisingly, 
  1
  fearing for my life after several close encounters 
  with the horrible guarding beings of the towers. Oh, 
  would that I could forget these horrible eyes filled 
  with, no, existing out of shear hatred towards the 
  living, swimming in a pool of impenetrable dark-
  ness... but when the wretched people of the places 
  I came to the first time where obviously warned 
  from my unwanted curiosity by some unfathomable, 
  arcane means, I knew I had to flee fast to more civ-
  ilized and secure lands, as lacking from both seen 
  from the inside these may seem.
  2
  as our forages in these ancient places where not 
  so easy to hide even from the lazy eyes of the dull 
  constables of the Grand Duchy, and as I and my 
  compatriots had enough spoils to live the rest of our 
  lives in luxury beyond imaginativeness, we returned 
  to our starting point, that we never used to call 
  home, but now, changed in status and wealth, it 
  surely began to feel like it.
  3
  longing in my heart for the solitude of my own 
  study to process all the knowledge, all the ideas, 
  and last but not least, all the spells I had learned, 
  eager to change into a better being, shaped by the 
  example of a perfect society, and full of willingless 
  to return as fast as I could. Alas, there are press-
  ing duties beyond my own whims, and so I still 
  yearn for the day I can return to the glorius Grand 
  Duchy, to learn, what I couldn’t learn the first 
  time, and to learn anew, what I have, imperfect 
  being that I am, forgotten in the meantimes.   
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  A short travelogue into the Grand Duchy by Christian Sturke
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  4
  to call out to my unenlightened people, teaching 
  them about the glory of thruthfulness that the 
  Golden Boar is and let them wallow in his wis-
  dom, so their undying souls may be saved from the 
  slaugtherhouse, that is the life in sin of not knowing 
  the commandements of his Holy Boarishness, the 
  Ebon Tusk. Praise to his Golden Bristles! Oink!  
  I will end this short
  1
  warning
  2
  tourist guide
  3
  seminar paper
  4
  holy sermon
   
  with an idealized sketch and plan of a bitten tower, so 
  you can imagine how one of these 
  1
  desecrated
  2
  treasure filled
  3
  educational
  4
  sacred
  buildings looks from the outside as well as the inside.
  Written down in the second month of the tainted moth, 
  year of the drunken sprite, by 
  Eregros of Hausenburg
  *Spell names taken from „Dying-Earth-Spells-for-
  D-D“ by Aaron Kesher (https://dl.dropboxusercontent.
  com/u/7913463/102667796-Dying-Earth-Spells-for-
  D-D.pdf)
  There are several ways how to use this short text:
  1.) Choose one of the numbers and take this tower, 
  Grand Duchy and the description that correspondes to it. 
  2.) Roll randomly a d4... 
  3.) If you want to make this text the really strange work 
  of a madman roll a d4 every time there is a table in it. 
  4.) Give this slightly magical scroll to the party. Choose 
  for every player/character the text, that most likely 
  leads to him/her to go into that direction, and give 
  every player, that reads the scroll, the „fitting“ text as a 
  handout. Ideally as a last thought at the end of a session, 
  so that the players never realize that they are travelling 
  into the Grand Duchy for totally different reasons...
  Hope you can use this, happy whatever you are feasting 
  for. ;)
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  A short travelogue into the Grand Duchy by Christian Sturke
  
  84
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Drunk Gnolls 
  (illustations throughout 
  this section)
  By Jack Harper 
  jackharper13@gmail.com
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  An adult-beverage-drinking gnoll. Mayhaps this gnoll 
  is dressed in a manner unfit for traditional gnoll-
  filled settings!
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  J. K.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Drunk Gnolls illo 4 By Jack Harper 
  
  85
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  When you are in need of an especially bizarre military 
  unit, simply roll a d20 once for each table and combine 
  the results into a single military unit. For less outlandish 
  military units, roll on only one or two of the tables. Af-
  ter getting your results, try to come up with an explana-
  tion about why such a strange unit exists. Good luck!
  Table 1: Background
  Who are these guys anyway?
  1
  Wild men drunk on tarrasque blood.
  2
  Gollish bards. Their giggling is most unnerving.
  3
  Kobolds that were spawned by the sleeping mind 
  of a dragon. Each kobold is something that the 
  dragon has forgotten.
  4
  Dwarves that wear robes and iron masks so that 
  sunlight will never fall on their skin.
  5
  Lizard men that ride gorgonopsids (pre-dinosaur 
  reptiles). Adult humans cannot hear their high-
  pitched speech but children can.
  6
  A company of knights that refuses to ride horses 
  and instead employs various alternative mounts.
  7
  Halfling ostrich cavalry. They make excellent 
  foragers.
  8
  A slave phalanx whose feet are chained together to 
  prevent them from breaking formation.
  9
  Gnomes who are able to levitate up to 20 feet in 
  the air. They use barge poles to skim along the 
  ground.
  10
  A Witch Clan. Choose a spell at random (on a 
  d10, 1-4 is a random first level spell, 5-7 is a sec-
  ond level spell, 8-9 is a second level spell and 10 
  is a fourth level spell). All members of this inbred 
  clan can cast this spell at will.
  11
  Elves that ride deer and wear antler headdresses. 
  They obsessively seek out loopholes in their em-
  ployment contracts and orders.
  12
  Men of the woods who wear no clothes but instead 
  wrap themselves in their own hair.
  13
  The half-dragon offspring of an especially 
  broad-minded dragon.
  14
  Iron golems that remain loyal to a dead empire.
  15
  Slug men that leave behind an incredibly slippery 
  slime trail.
  16
  Obese giants that only eat sentient beings.
  17
  A priest accompanied by a band of collared slaves 
  that echo the priest’s prayers and lend them great-
  er potency.
  18
  A swarm of grey jellies that are the sentient snot 
  that oozes from the nose of an ancient idol.
  19
  Orcs that do painful things and duel people “to 
  the pain” to prove how tough they are.
  20
  Kind and gracious snake men who do not un-
  derstand all of the objections to their funerary 
  practices.
  Table 1: Specialty
  How are these guys going to kill you?
  1
  The unit carries the haunted bones of its dead with 
  it.
  2
  Members of this unit can project their spirits in 
  the form of animals. Their own bodies are uncon-
  scious while they do this.
  3
  The unit is accompanied by siege engines pulled 
  by albino cave lizards. They shoot giant nets, 
  barrels of caltrops, liquid darkness, etc.
  4
  This unit has trained several hairless mole bears 
  that tunnel under battlefields and erupt in the 
  midst of enemy formations.
  5
  This unit’s commander owns an instant fortress: a 
  magic item can change from a small metal box to 
  a fortress on command. It is remarkably non-Eu-
  clidean, squamous and rugose.
  6
  Several members of this unit have had their brains 
  removed and grafted to the heads of dinosaurs, 
  which affords them some measure of control over 
  these great beasts.
  7
  This unit posses a stew pot that cooks corpses into 
  savory and obedient zombies.
  8
  The unit carries a 400-foot didgeridoo. Its sound 
  is most potent.
  9
  These troops carry portable ballistas and are 
  effective snipers even at extreme ranges.
  10
  This unit is especially well-trained and accompa-
  nied by 1d4 mages. They avoid fair fights at all 
  costs and are proficient at exploiting the weak-
  nesses of their foes in clever ways.
  11
  This unit possesses a rich war chest that it uses to 
  bribe enemies.
  12
  This unit has enslaved several illusionists who are 
  kept drugged to make them more docile.
  Famine, Fire, and Sword: 
  Unusual Troops for the Armies of 
  Weird Fantasy Nations 
   by Dave Boshko
  dboshko@gmail.com
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A D20 table with unusual troops for the armies of weird 
  fantasy nations. Monsters, mages, specialists, what have 
  you.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  A. F.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Famine, Fire, and Sword: Unusual Troops by Dave Boshko
  
  86
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  13
  This unit has trained a large number of parrots as 
  messengers, spies and bombardiers.
  14
  Due to recent budget cuts, a magical university 
  sold most of its underclassmen into the army. All 
  of these disgruntled former students are capable of 
  cantrips but not much else.
  15
  This unit includes a team of skilled surgeons who 
  are on the lookout for spare parts.
  16
  This unit includes a battery of halfling-guided 
  rockets.
  17
  The members of this unit operate out of an excep-
  tionally large portable hole.
  18
  This unit carries with it a large supply of seeds of 
  a variety of plants that have hallucinogenic pol-
  len, grasping vines, giant bee-attracting nectar, 
  projectile thorns, etc.
  19
  This unit’s pyromancers have created a cache of 
  rings of fire resistance that allow it to employ 
  such tactics as lighting everyone on fire before 
  charging the enemy.
  20
  This unit is based out of a cloud fortress that is 
  propelled by an imprisoned air elemental.
  Table 3: Quirks
  What’s weird about these guys?
  1
  The unit marches on the White Road, a vast mo-
  bile undead construct created from the dust of the 
  bones of the slain.
  2
  This unit has contracted an incurable disease that 
  is slowly killing them. They are utterly fearless 
  and highly contagious.
  3
  Members of this unit refuse to do anything but 
  pray during their religion’s frequent holidays.
  4
  Each night a fresh finger has to be thrown in the 
  stew pot.
  5
  This unit does not actually exist but is instead the 
  dreams of a comatose mage made flesh.
  6
  This unit is accompanied by a swarm of monkeys 
  that eat its garbage etc. They shriek loudly at any 
  strangers that approach.
  7
  Unnath the Unborn’s current avatar is a fetus 
  borne by a member of this unit. This demi-god 
  often performs miracles that warp the surround-
  ing terrain.
  8
  All of the armor worn by this unit is made out of 
  human fingernails.
  9
  The members of this unit have sworn to not return 
  home until each one has killed someone. When 
  this oath is fulfilled they will desert and attempt 
  to return home immediately.
  10
  The unit is accompanied by a herd of giant ground 
  sloths that serve both as a source of milk and as 
  ambulatory terrain.
  11
  The members of this unit are sharp merchants 
  who will seek to barter for your soul, first born 
  child, etc. at every opportunity.
  12
  All new recruits must be the reincarnations of past 
  members, so this unit wanders the world searching 
  out their reborn brethren.
  13
  All members of this unit are the magical clones of 
  an ancient hero. However, the copies of the copies 
  of the copies of this hero have degraded somewhat.
  14
  This unit recently ran into a mad wizard who is 
  fond of Polymorph Other, leaving it unusually 
  rich in species diversity.
  15
  All appearances to the contrary, this unit is made 
  up of alien psionic parasites that feed off of con-
  flict and strife.
  16
  This unit has been mentally enthralled by hy-
  per-intelligent stirges that feed on cerebral fluid.
  17
  The quartermaster of this unit is a doppelganger 
  who has been adding slimy doppelganger seeds to 
  the unit’s rum supplies.
  18
  After meticulous personal grooming, the members 
  of this unit always go naked into battle.
  19
  The hopes, dreams and fears of the members of 
  this unit sometimes come to life as they sleep.
  20
  This unit is a city militia that is locked in pedan-
  tic discussion about town politics.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Famine, Fire, and Sword: Unusual Troops by Dave Boshko
  
  87
  87
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  It’s a d8 table, because d8’s don’t get the mad love they 
  deserve.
  1
  This language has no truth standards. Yes, No, 
  True, False - These terms have no bearing on 
  reality. Perhaps the language speaker is totally 
  unaware of empiricism. Perhaps they come from 
  an arch-postmodernist culture. Perhaps they are 
  solipsists.
  2
  Hyper-sibilance - the language can only be truly 
  spoken by a people with terrible (and deliberately 
  self-inflicted) deformities of the mouth cavity. A 
  kind of chosen shibboleth.
  3
  Kinetic language - These folks only communicate 
  through body movements. Play charades with your 
  PCs. Map appropriate word meanings to actions 
  - for example: in a martial culture, ‘Hello’ might 
  be indicated through a clenched fist, and entire 
  conversations could be conducted through mock 
  battles.
  4
   Language as currency: This culture’s leaders are 
  the ones with most communicative power, and 
  hence most money. Little tokens representing dif-
  ferent verb-noun combinations are traded for goods 
  and services. The catch is that all communication 
  is done with these tokens, hence the proletariat are 
  prevented from fomenting revolution, as tokens 
  representing abstract concepts are restricted from 
  them. Use fridge-magnets or some such.
  5
  Language as magic: (AKA hacking the universe). 
  This language causes stuff to happen. Like a 
  mystical version of C++. Wishing something were 
  so, in this language causes it to happen. Multiple 
  contradictory utterances either cause this language 
  to stall with no effect, or cause odd feedback loops. 
  There is some pattern of logic to this language, 
  illogical utterances will prove painful and attempts 
  to divide by zero might prove fatal for the speaker 
  (save vs magic).    
  6
  Ideogrammatical language: communication entire-
  ly through drawing. Like 3, except there’s a definte 
  grammatical pattern object > subject > verb – every 
  ideogram is made of three sub-images that follow 
  this sequence. Speakers will be baffled by anything 
  that breaks this pattern.
  7
  Domain-based language: This society has multiple 
  interlaced languages, for warfare, politics, love, 
  economics. Communication is through venn-dia-
  gram, depending on the language domains used. 
  Complex theories look like blooming flowers, filled 
  with ideas, or fractal snail shells, interlocking. 
  8
  Reduced vocabulary language: The only words 
  in this language are equivalent to ‘Yes’, ‘No’, 
  ‘Go’,’Hate’,’Love’, ‘Person’, ‘Item’ – where person 
  and item are denoted by pointing at the relevant 
  thing – No individual or item has a unique name, if 
  the word ‘Person’ is used without pointing it means 
  ‘the totality of known individuals’, if the word 
  ‘item’ is used without pointing then it means ‘the 
  totality of all things’. There are no verbs other 
  than ‘Go’ and the emphasis on pointing means that 
  normally the only things that can be discussed are 
  in eye-sight; ‘Go’ being a recent addition to the 
  language, used to indicate anything from death, to 
  swimming and hunting. One would pose a question 
  in this language by appending ‘Yes?’ to the end of a 
  sentence.     
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  I would like a table full of odd languages with traits 
  or quirks that I can act out at the table.
  Thanks,  
   
   
  C. R.
  Language Quirks
  by David Weaver
  david.weaver@maiku.co.uk
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Language Quirks by David Weaver
  
  88
  88
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Festivals and Traditions 
  of the Harvest Season
  by Anonymous
  The Festival Season
   
  Who can escape the turning of the seasons?  
  As your weary characters trudge back to the city, their 
  pockets full of coins minted for a long-dead empire, they 
  stumble upon a harvest festival – perhaps in preparation, 
  perhaps in progress.  Roll on the table below to find out 
  what tradition this locale upholds, and what it might 
  mean for the party.  Feel free to make adjustments as 
  needed in order to fit more smoothly into your home 
  campaign – swap genders, use your own deities’ names as 
  necessary, etc.
  D10 
  Tradition
  1
  Corn Maiden
  2
  Autumnalia’s Regent (or King/Queen)
  3
  Traveler’s Rest
  4
  Festival of the Eldest
  5
  The Mellified Man
  6
  Promenade of Brides
  7
  Baptism of Graves
  8
  The Goddess’ Journey
  9
  Gift of Geis
  10
  DM’s choice
  Corn Maiden 
  [start Read Aloud box]
  Up ahead, the road runs into a village where a festival 
  is in full swing.  The revelers seem to be in excellent 
  spirits – it must have been a good harvest.
  In the field to your right, however, something much 
  more sacred is transpiring.  Several older men, perhaps 
  farmers, stand barefoot in a loose circle around a gray-
  haired woman kneeling in the freshly cut field. The 
  woman seems to be weaving something from corn leaves, 
  and they are all intoning solemnly:
  Mintery, wintery, cuttery corn
  Apple seed and apple thorn
  Home, your home is hewn and shorn
  Shelter, shelter, Maiden Corn
  Hands be nimble, hands be deft
  One twist to right and three to left
  ‘Tis our harvest and not a theft
  Must not leave the corn bereft
  [/Read Aloud box]
  The village elders and the crop-druid (Willemina, Dru-
  id 2) are finishing up the Corn Maiden ceremony, where 
  the last sheaf of corn felled during harvest is used to 
  make a corn dolly for the Harvest Spirit (or Corn Maid-
  en). The Maiden will sleep in the dolly during the cold 
  winter months, warm and safe on someone’s hearth. In 
  the Spring, the Maiden will return to the soil when the 
  dolly is planted with first plowing.  The elders are open 
  with the details of this practice if asked, and will hint at 
  the steep price a village can pay if it is not completed. 
  They will not elaborate about the price of failure. The 
  crop-druid, if pressed, will confide in the PCs that a 
  Corn Maiden without a home can turn into a Wendigo, 
  a malicious spirit of deep winter cold, ensuring a harsh 
  winter and many strange “animal attacks” and missing 
  persons.
  Adventure hook: The dolly they are making is actually 
  a second home for the Maiden, replacing the original 
  one stolen from the druid’s cottage yesterday.   Hopeful-
  ly the Maiden will still find this winter home suitable, 
  but if the PCs could find out what happened to the origi-
  nal, and why someone would wish a deadly winter on the 
  village…
  Autumnalia’s Regent
  In some communities, the harvest is celebrated in 
  elaborate fashion and exquisite style.  A member of the 
  community is selected as the Regent of the Harvest, and 
  for seven solid days they are treated lavishly – feasts, 
  gifts, parties, dances, tournaments and even the occa-
  sional peasant girl or boy “companion”.  Each day the 
  festivities grow more and more excessive, and the Regent 
  presides over ever-more-symbolic rituals blessing the 
  town, the fields, and the people of that community.  
  The evening of the seventh day the festival, fuelled to a 
  fever pitch by strong liquor and mildly psychogenic in-
  cense, culminates in the Regent’s Parade. The Regent is 
  carried to the fields on the shoulders of their “subjects”, 
  who sing the Regent’s praises all along the way.
  In the fields the Parade meets the waiting priest of the 
  harvest God/Goddess, who meets the Regent, thanks 
  them for their blessings, and promptly strangles them to 
  death.
  The corpse is wordlessly stripped of its raiment by the 
  crowd and then left to return to the earth where it fell, 
  ensuring a bountiful harvest next year.
  Local variations exist, of course – in some areas an aco-
  lyte of the priesthood is chosen, in others they “ordain” 
  a prisoner a week ahead of time. Some communities 
  even use unwary travelers or troublesome murderhobos 
  constantly stirring up trouble in the local mythic under-
  world.
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  10 festivities/traditions/events held in the city (by 
  any/all economic classes) for the autumn harvest 
  festival.
  Thanks, 
   
   
  D. B.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Festivals and Traditions  of the Harvest Season by Anonymous
  
  89
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Adventure hook: Surprise! The locals that were so un-
  welcoming last week are so glad to see you return from 
  your lastest adventure. In fact, they have elected you 
  Regent of the Autumnalia Festival! How fun! The mag-
  ic-user keeps going on about irregularities in the rituals, 
  but you’re sure that will be fine…
  Traveler’s Rest
  Local legend has it that the God of Harvest takes the 
  form of a traveling tinker and walks the roads during the 
  threshing season, respectively blessing and cursing dili-
  gent and lazy farmers.  This has, as a side effect, created 
  an incredibly welcoming atmosphere for all travelers at 
  this time of year, as no one wants to accidentally turn 
  away the God in disguise.
  Family members disguise themselves humorously poor-
  ly and visit their young children while pretending to 
  be the incognito god, quizzing them about the lessons 
  their parents have taught them and handing out small 
  gifts.  Pleasant children are praised, cheeky children are 
  warned, and many a mug of homebrew is offered (and 
  accepted) by the “mysterious traveler”. 
  Adventure hook: an unseelie changeling from the local 
  forest/cave/pond/etc has taken the opportunity to run 
  amok in a nearby village. Priests convinced that this may 
  actually be the God are terrified to act, and villagers 
  seem powerless to resist in any meaningful way. Perhaps 
  the magically adroit PCs can help?  For a higher-level 
  hook, perhaps the unseelie is just a distraction hired by 
  a large force of hobgobilins and ogres in the local caves, 
  hoping for a much softer and more disorganized armed 
  response when they make their move.
  Festival of the Eldest
  Smaller communities rely on the collective wisdom of 
  their eldest citizens in order to find sensible solutions to 
  problems and also to help maintain important unifying 
  traditions and rituals.  As our intrepid adventurers stum-
  ble into town this night, the post-harvest Festival of the 
  Eldest is being organized. 
  The citizens are dividing themselves up into tempo-
  rary “fiefs”, each captained by one of the community’s 
  eldest members.  Each fief begins it’s own party in a 
  different part of the town square (or fairgrounds, etc), 
  attempting to outdo the other groups in both volume 
  and mirth.  Eventually the Elders are paraded into the 
  central part of the festival ground, their fief-members 
  loudly bragging about this and that great achievement of 
  their “liege”.  As the night wears on - and the ale flows 
  – the tales grow ever more implausible and ridiculous.  
  Old farming injuries become battle scars, birthmarks 
  are signs of witch-curses beaten, and missing teeth were 
  traded to lake-spirit for freedom from a watery grave.  
  The fief with the most amazing liege typically win some 
  sort of gag prize like a three-legged goat or an ale jug 
  with a spirit trapped within.  Generally everyone has 
  a grand time and only mildly regrets the hangover the 
  next day.
  Adventure hook: One old coot, Carl Bessie, has never 
  been able to win the Festival of the Eldest, despite the 
  best efforts of his enormous family.  The PCs are invited 
  to join the Bessie fief and try to outdo the other groups 
  in town.  Obviously, at some point at least one of the PCs 
  will be called on to spin a tale about Carl the Great, and 
  they should feel free to truly shine it on.  This one is 
  great for parties that like to get into the roleplaying even 
  outside of a 20’x20’ room.
  Mellified Man
  As the story goes, in ancient times a village wise man 
  knew he was nearing his end.  He feared for his village, 
  however, as he could not see how the people would 
  survive without his guidance and sagacity.  He meditated 
  in a field for many days while contemplating a solution 
  to this conundrum. Finally, on the autumn equinox he 
  struck upon his answer, and set to work to create it.
  The wise man began eating copious amounts of honey 
  with his meals. The villagers took note, but said noth-
  ing.  Soon he was consuming nothing but honey, and 
  began going so far as to bathe in the confection.  The 
  villagers grew curious but were afraid to confront the 
  wise man.  Eventually the diet began to take its toll and 
  the wise man fell ill, but still he refused any treatment 
  other than more honey. 
  Finally one brave village goodwife questioned the wise 
  man while visiting his sickbed.  “Why do you do this, 
  old one? Why do you end your own life in such a waste-
  ful fashion?” she asked.  “Little one, no waste will 
  take place, “ he assured her, “through this death I will 
  provide life for the entire village.”  
  He explained his reasoning thus; as he sat in that field 
  day in and day out, all the way into the deep autumn, 
  he had no company but the honeybees laboring away for 
  their hives. If only I could ensure that my people would 
  always work as hard for the good of the village as those 
  bees do for their hive, he thought.  Then he struck upon 
  his idea – if the bees could pass on their wisdom to their 
  own young through the honey that they feed them, then 
  why should it not also work for the wise man and this 
  villagers? 
  “And so you will partake of me, once I pass, just as the 
  bees do. My wisdom and essence will seep into the hon-
  ey, and then become part of you forever.”
  This is the story the locals tell regarding the popular 
  honey festival. They still make the honey confections 
  into the shape of wizened old men out of tradition, not 
  some insanely complex form of human sacrifice.  That 
  would be silly.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Festivals and Traditions  of the Harvest Season by Anonymous
  
  90
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Adventure hook: This year someone is purposefully 
  disrupting the festival using alchemically treated honey.  
  By sneaking small amounts into all the Mellified Man 
  molds, they have successfully exposed nearly the entire 
  community to this special concoction.  Through this 
  specially treated honey, this troublemaker has hive-
  queen-like control of all the exposed “drones”.  Can 
  the PCs stop the evildoer’s plan without hurting the 
  mind-controlled townspeople?
  Promenade of Brides
  In particularly isolated areas, inbreeding amongst the 
  small communities can cause problems very quickly. 
  The solution that has arisen is an equinox “festival” 
  called the Promenade of Brides.
  After the harvest is complete, all the young men from 
  each community put on their best clothes and travel to 
  another small village.  Each young man chooses his own 
  destination, and some deliberately choose distant locales 
  in order to increase bragging rights.  In the meantime, 
  the unmarried young ladies of each community put their 
  best foot forward as well, waiting for the young men 
  from outside to start arriving.  Their families wait as 
  well, eager to find excellent matches for their wonderful 
  (and not-so-wonderful) offspring…
  Adventure hook:  Guess what time it is when you get 
  back to town with all that gold in your pockets?
  Baptism of Graves
  Every year around this time, the locals throw a huge 
  street party Dia de los Meurtos style, with everyone 
  dressing up as skeletons and lighting candles for de-
  ceased loved ones.  On the final day of the week-long 
  event, the origins of the festival become more clear – the 
  locals parade through all the local cemeteries, bless-
  ing and re-sanctifying the grounds so as to prevent the 
  corpses therein from once again walking the earth.  
  Adventure hook: The town once sprawled much further 
  along the North Road than it does now, so several ceme-
  tery grounds have been lost amongst the weeds and brush 
  near the forest. If an intrepid adventurer doesn’t locate 
  all three burial grounds before midnight, the locals 
  might need help fighting off hordes of undead relatives…
  The Goddess’ Journey
  Many religions recognize the significance of the harvest 
  and become intimately involved with harvest festivals 
  and seasonal cycles. One of the most common is the one 
  sages identify as the Goddess’ Journey or the Virgin in 
  the Underworld.  The tale predictably revolves around 
  a young woman, destined to become the Harvest God-
  dess,  stolen away underground by a Winter Spirit or 
  Underworld God, thus plunging the world into winter 
  while she remains his prisoner.  Eventually, using all her 
  wiles and tricks, she steals away part of the Underworld’s 
  ever-burning fire to make a lantern, and finds her way 
  back to the surface, bringing Spring and life back with 
  her.  Variations of course exist; sometimes it is the God-
  dess’ daughter that is stolen, sometimes the Moon steals 
  her away instead, etc.  At it’s core the story remains the 
  same.
  The local temple holds faithfully to this tradition by 
  allowing the temple’s hearthfire to burnt out the night 
  before the equinox, and then selecting a brave hero/
  heroine to journey into the Underworld in order to steal 
  that same life-giving spark symbolically back in order to 
  ensure a less harsh winter and quick return of Spring.  
  Adventure hook: Got an undead, winter, or under-
  world-themed dungeon you’ve always wanted to run? 
  Insert it here! Make sure the locals and priests provide 
  lots of completely misleading helpful tips, hand-drawn 
  maps, and rumors of what awaits the PCs in the hellhole 
  to which you are leading them.
  Gift of Geis
  Old tales are replete with witches and sorcerers both be-
  nign and malevolent who constantly laid dweomers upon 
  ancient heroines to either bind or empower them during 
  their quests.  The storytellers call this giving the gift of 
  geis, or simply geas. 
  A geas has two parts – the taboo and the boon (or bind-
  ing, if it was negative).  The taboo was just that – a for-
  bidden action or activity (for instance the eating of meat 
  or bathing in the ocean )– that as long as it was avoid-
  ed the spell would hold.  The boon or binding would 
  (respectively) grant or drain power from the recipient.  
  For instance, in the well-known tale of Morrigan, 
  Clementinia the Witch grants her sister Morrigan a geas 
  -  that she would have the  strength of ten men as long as 
  she partakes of no salt.  
  During the local harvest festival, the villagers in this 
  region also remember all their traditional tales (and 
  the lessons therein) by playing at the giving of geas.  
  The mayor disguises themselves as a wizard or witch 
  and strides about town laying humorous “geas” on the 
  townsfolk – forcing them to hop about on one leg or 
  speak only in rhyme.  As the festival goes on and the 
  ale flows more quickly, the geas get more absurd as does 
  the speculation about what boon they may have brought 
  with them. Some townships set up elaborate “tests of 
  might” and “duels of wits” that are arranged to show off 
  the newfound boons granted by the Witch – this type of 
  arrangement is popular in areas with lots of children to 
  entertain (likely while the adults drink in peace nearby).  
  Adventure hook: Someone in town seems to have 
  gained the ability to had out real geas, both positive and 
  negative.  More and more of the townsfolk are finding 
  themselves bound by this strange power. Who is doing 
  this? To what sinister end are they working? How did 
  they discover such a secret to power?
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Festivals and Traditions  of the Harvest Season by Anonymous
  
  91
  91
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Drunk Gnolls 
  (illustations throughout 
  this section)
  By Jack Harper 
  jackharper13@gmail.com
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  An adult-beverage-drinking gnoll. Mayhaps this gnoll 
  is dressed in a manner unfit for traditional gnoll-
  filled settings!
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  J. K.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Drunk Gnolls  illo 5 By Jack Harper 
  
  92
  92
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A way to generate all the peculiar customs and clothes 
  and dishes and taboos and rivalries and general bits of 
  weirdness that make small isolated villages and great 
  cities unique. Possibly delivered in a multi-level gigan-
  totable sort of way.
  Thanks,  
   
   
  P. G.
  This is pretty much an impossibly large request, so what I offer here are some starting points. Roll as many times as 
  you like on any of the columns and combine results as appropriate (for repeated numbers just combine variations on 
  the main item). Tables are all 1d (different dice depending on how many options I could roundly come up with) so 
  I didn’t have to account for variable chances (bell curves and the like), each entry should be equally likely (though 
  you could change some of these to weight the randomness). 
   
   
   
   
   
   
  Food 
  (prominent 
  ingredients)
  Drink
  Clothes 
  (materials, 
  features)
  Taboos
  Customs
  Factions
  Other 
  Weirdness?
  Recent 
  History
  Ancient 
  History
  1
  Large/
  grazing 
  livestock 
  (cow, 
  goat, 
  sheep)
  milk 
  (cow, 
  goat, 
  sheep, 
  other 
  more 
  exotic 
  animal)
  wool (or 
  other woven 
  animal fur)
  drinking
  ritual can-
  nibalism
  Farmers
  everyone is a 
  doppelgang-
  er or other 
  shapeshifter 
  pretending 
  to be human
  Change 
  of ruler 
  (1-2: 
  death; 
  3-4: 
  appoint-
  ment; 5: 
  coup; 6: 
  election)
  founded 
  by an 
  ancient 
  forgotten 
  race/peo-
  ples
  2
  Small 
  livestock 
  (chick-
  en, pig, 
  turkey)
  wine 
  (grape or 
  other lo-
  cal fruit)
  cotton (or 
  other plant)
  eating 
  after sun-
  set/before 
  sunrise
  polygamy
  Fisher-
  men
  whole 
  location is 
  an incursion 
  of the spirit 
  world, all 
  living things 
  are actually 
  ghosts, or 
  else the spir-
  it popula-
  tion is quite 
  substantial 
  so that 
  the living 
  inhabitants 
  are used to 
  it and treat 
  the spirits 
  as normal 
  parts of the 
  community
  attacked 
  by other 
  humans/
  human-
  oids. (1: 
  fought 
  off aided 
  by some 
  valiant 
  figure; 
  2-3: ma-
  jor loses; 
  4-5: tak-
  en-over 
  or com-
  pletely 
  ran-
  sacked; 6: 
  ongoing 
  conflict;)
  invaded 
  by anoth-
  er cul-
  ture/race 
  and now 
  the na-
  tives and 
  invaders 
  are as-
  similated 
  (perhaps 
  combine 
  multiple 
  rolls 
  on the 
  tables for 
  the new 
  mixed 
  culture)
  3
  Rice
  beer
  silk (or 
  other insect 
  related 
  matieral)
  magic
  collective 
  childrear-
  ing
  Miners
  ruler is 
  a demon 
  subtly ma-
  nipulating 
  the whole 
  location 
  for its own 
  desires
  fire 
  effecting 
  some 
  large or 
  major 
  part of 
  the settle-
  ment
  curse by 
  (mage, 
  druids, 
  god, evil 
  creature, 
  scorned 
  wo/man, 
  deposed 
  leader, 
  etc.)
  Weird Customs, 
  Clothes, Food, Etc
  Derik Badman
  derik.badman@gmail.com
  http://madinkbeard.com
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Weird Customs,  Clothes, Food, Etc Derik Badman
  
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  93
  93
  4
  Legumes 
  (lentils, 
  beans)
  alcohol 
  (corn, 
  potato, 
  etc.)
  leather/hide 
  (various 
  animals)
  some 
  common 
  local 
  food item 
  (they 
  treat 
  it like 
  poison 
  though it 
  is per-
  fectly 
  edible)
  communis-
  tic col-
  lectivism 
  (shared 
  property)
  Mer-
  chants
  at least one 
  god/demi-
  god/saint/
  etc is so 
  important to 
  this specific 
  location 
  that the 
  whole loca-
  tion is filled 
  with tem-
  ples, relics, 
  and other 
  historical 
  markers. 
  Pilgrams 
  are present. 
  Don't insult 
  the object of 
  veneration 
  or you are in 
  trouble.
  famine or 
  drought
  invad-
  ed by 
  another 
  culture/
  race and 
  natives 
  and 
  invaders 
  are still 
  at odds. 
  perhaps 
  invaders 
  keep 
  natives 
  as slaves/
  servants/
  lower 
  class, etc.
  5
  Grains 
  (wheat, 
  corn)
  juice 
  (some 
  local 
  fruit/veg-
  etable)
  non-cloth 
  adornment 
  (metal, 
  shells, 
  flowers, 
  bones)
  opiates
  opiates (or 
  other drug)
  Crafts-
  men
  everyone 
  belongs to 
  the same 
  religion/
  cult/secret 
  society
  sickness/
  plague
  gold rush 
  or some 
  other 
  event that 
  caused a 
  boom/
  bust cycle
  6
  Fruit 
  (depend-
  ing on 
  climate: 
  apples, 
  bananas, 
  mangos, 
  grapes, 
  berries)
  blood 
  (animal, 
  human)
  dyed (single 
  color, 
  multi-col-
  ors, pat-
  terns)
  non-pro-
  creative 
  sex
  cross-dress-
  ing
  Nobles
  currently 
  plagued 
  by (pick): 
  locusts, rats, 
  sickness, 
  frogs, crows, 
  werewolves, 
  weeds, etc.
  a party of 
  adventur-
  ers recent 
  came 
  through 
  and 
  caused 
  a lot of 
  trouble 
  before 
  leaving
  major 
  natural 
  disas-
  ter that 
  seriously 
  changed 
  the ge-
  ography 
  of the 
  area/set-
  tlement 
  (earth-
  quake, 
  mete-
  orite, 
  tsunami, 
  etc.)
  7
  Game 
  (pheas-
  ant, deer, 
  rabbit)
  woven 
  (patterns, 
  colors, 
  multiple 
  materials, 
  quilted)
  worship-
  ping any 
  but the 
  single lo-
  cal diety
  ancestor 
  worship
  Guards/
  Militia
  location is 
  a pocket of 
  consistent 
  isolated 
  weather 
  patterns 
  (it rains 
  everyday, it 
  never rains, 
  it's always 
  windy, the 
  sun never 
  shines, etc.)
  wanderer 
  theatre 
  troupe 
  was re-
  cently in 
  town (2 
  in 6, still 
  in the 
  area)
  war with 
  nearby 
  culture/
  race/set-
  tlement. 
  never tru-
  ly settled 
  and the 
  groups 
  still hate 
  each 
  other.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  8
  Root 
  vegetables 
  (potatoes, 
  turnips)
  cloth 
  adornment 
  (fringes, 
  tassles, 
  braids, veil-
  like layers)
  immer-
  sion in 
  water or 
  crossing 
  running 
  water
  perform a 
  religious 
  gesture 
  upon say-
  ing certain 
  words or 
  phrases
  Thieves
  domesticat-
  ed animals 
  in the town 
  talk (Cats, 
  dogs, birds). 
  No one 
  thinks this 
  is unusual.
  trade 
  caravan 
  passed 
  through 
  (3 in 6, 
  still in 
  area)
  popular 
  uprising 
  against 
  lord (now 
  a free 
  state, or 
  else was 
  later con-
  quered 
  again)
  9
  Greens 
  (kale, 
  spinach, 
  cabbage)
  very little 
  or no cloth-
  ing worn
  speaking 
  to any 
  non-local
  barter only 
  economy
  Beggars
  natural 
  disaster 
  (hurri-
  cane, 
  tsunami, 
  earth-
  quake, 
  hurri-
  cane)
  unknown 
  (lost to 
  history 
  or some 
  event)
  10
  Spices 
  (pepper, 
  chili, 
  cumin)
  loose flow-
  ing clothes 
  (robes, 
  kimonos, 
  saris)
  certain 
  words
  prescribed 
  religious/
  cultural 
  clothing/
  adornment
  Mages
  recent 
  war/bat-
  tle from 
  nearby 
  nation/
  culture/
  race/lord 
  passed 
  through 
  or by the 
  settle-
  ment. 
  perhaps 
  the 
  conflict 
  is still 
  ongoing.
  nothing 
  (recent 
  settle-
  ment)
  11
  Dairy 
  (milk, 
  cheese, 
  butter)
  layered 
  clothing 
  (light or 
  heavy de-
  pending on 
  climate)
  Church/
  Temple 
  (official)
  nothing.
  12
  Fish 
  (fresh or 
  salt)
  many pieces 
  (shirts, 
  pants, ties, 
  jackets, 
  vests, hats; 
  skirts, 
  underskirts, 
  bodices, 
  jackets, 
  hats, para-
  sols)
  Cult
  nothing.
  13
  Nuts 
  (almond, 
  peanut, 
  chestnut, 
  walnut)
  Ruler 
  (lord, 
  king, 
  etc.)
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Weird Customs,  Clothes, Food, Etc Derik Badman
  
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  95
  95
  14
  Mush-
  room/
  fungus
  Elders/
  Mayor/
  Govern-
  ment/Bu-
  reaucrats
  15
  Shelled 
  creatures 
  (clams, 
  crabs, 
  snails)
  Laborers
  16
  Insects 
  (ants, 
  grass-
  hoppers, 
  roaches)
  Slaves
  17
  Hu-
  man(oids)
  Prosti-
  tutes
  18
  Reptiles 
  (snake, 
  lizard, 
  dinosaur, 
  dragon)
  Racial 
  group 
  (other 
  human 
  or demi-
  semi-hu-
  man)
  19
  "magic" 
  creatures 
  (pick 
  from your 
  favorite 
  monster 
  book)
  Foreign-
  ers/Im-
  migrants
  20
  Some-
  thing 
  inedible 
  (like rocks 
  or dirt)
  students/
  universi-
  ty/school
  Food (prominent ingredients): Parentheticals are just some examples for each category.
  You could roll on this 3+ times and combine into prominent dishes eaten
  Clothes (materials, features): alternately you could go with a list of real world cultural clothes (japanese, chinese, 
  indian, german, british, etc.)
  Factions: Some of these could be selected multiple times. Multiple churches, multiples cults, multiple guilds of 
  craftsmen, multiple militia units, etc.
  Once you’ve rolled or selected your factions, roll reaction for each combination of two (for large numbers of factions, 
  you’ll probably want to work up a chart).
  By “reaction” I mean a classic D&D style 2d6 where 2 is hostile, 3-5 is unfriendly, 6-8 is neutral, 9-11 is friendly, 
  and 12 is best friends. 
  Other Weirdness? Sorry, I’m not so good with the weird stuff.
  Many/most of these could be easily sub-tabled for further specificity. I’m sure they could all be extended into  longer 
  tables too given enough thought, research, or teamwork. 
   
   
   
   
   
  Most results should imply other elements of the village/town/city/area (i.e. if the prominent food is “rice” then 
  there must be paddies in the surrounding area, if the clothing is primarily woven wool then there be sheep and weav-
  ers about, etc.) and lead to more questions (i.e. is “ritual cannibalism” directed internally, if so how are the victims 
  selected, if external, what nearby group/town are the main source of victims).  
   
   
   
   
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Weird Customs,  Clothes, Food, Etc Derik Badman
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  A narrow, uneven, twisting, broken-cobbled dead-end 
  street overhung by widow’s walks, dormers and balconies 
  to drop in any fantasy city. On this street live a d30s-
  worth of NPCs, including a shady doctor, a hooker with 
  a heart of gold, a gang of hooligans and a blind beggar. I 
  call it Cliché Alley.
  Run-down, surrounded and covered by the sprawl and 
  upward expansion of the rest of the city, Triopos Lane is 
  a pit of corruption and despair. The winding paths and 
  alleys that run between, over and under the buildings 
  have created a labyrinthine mess divided into Upper and 
  Lower Triopos. Attempts to re-map the area have all 
  failed: 3 cartographers have been murdered. No one else 
  will take the work. 
  Lower Triopos has the largest and oldest establish-
  ments: The Wagging Tail, Toppers hat store and the 
  underground boxing arena. Upper Triopos is populated 
  with towers and smaller structures piled haphazardly 
  on top of the older, sturdier structures. The people of 
  Triopos represent the lowest of the low, the fallen of 
  the city. The folks that live in Triopos Lane are nick-
  named “tropes” and elsewhere in the city Triopos Lane 
  is sometimes called Cliché Alley (though never in front 
  of a “trope”). Every trope has a secret and every secret is 
  an opportunity in Cliché Alley.
  The Tropes: Denizens of the Lane
  1
  King of the Heap: Shadow runs a tight ship with 
  the Thieves Guild in Cliché Alley. His given 
  name is unknown and only a handful of people 
  have seen his face - he, of course, wears a black 
  mask. Secret: He is not the Head of the Thieves 
  Guild. Shadow is just a puppet playing the part 
  of the puppeteer. 
  2
  The Giant: Tanner Lee, Shadow’s enforcer, 
  is a hulk of a man. Nicknamed Ogre by locals, 
  Tanner’s fierce loyalty to Shadow (and low 
  self-esteem) leads him to commit terrible acts in 
  the name of their friendship. Secret: Orge keeps 
  a menagerie of small, cute animals and will 
  quickly befriend other animal lovers.
  3
  The Lord: Matthias Galliard Greyholme, an 
  old paladin and a high-ranking officer, returned 
  to his ancestral home at Greyholme Manor to 
  protect the good people of his now floundering, 
  suffering cesspool of a neighbourhood. He is 
  determined to clean up the streets and unravel the 
  mystery of Shadow and the power of the Thieves 
  Guild. Secret: He is using what remains of the 
  family fortune to build a small team of vigilan-
  tes to deal with the problem. He has lost his faith 
  and his divine connection to his god.
  4
  The Matron: Old Momma Hob runs the Triopos 
  Orphanage. This grey-haired woman with a sac-
  charine personality also serves as confidante and 
  streetear to Greyholme. Secret: This headmarm 
  act is a well-practiced and well-established 
  front for her true work - training cutpurses and 
  pickpockets. This old bat is colder than ice and 
  hard as to boot. She grinds the coppers out of 
  her children and passes her dues onto Shadow, 
  temporarily. The truth is that Old Momma Hob 
  is the real head of the Thieves Guild.
  5
  The Tinker: Bergen Mayerbach is a genius. He 
  is also hopelessly scatterbrained and a complete 
  shut-in. His machines will change the world, if 
  he can find them in the mess of his workshop. 
  His latest misplaced marvel is the Electro-static 
  Harness. Secret: Hires guild thieves to procure 
  required materials, very deep in debt to Shad-
  ow.
  6
   The Tailor: Brindler Basquin is a purveyor of 
  finely crafted suits. He refuses to move his shop to 
  accommodate his wealthy clientele, who refuse to 
  wear anything else. Secret: Sets up his clientele 
  for mugging by his silent partner, Grim. Has a 
  huge gambling debt to multiple gangsters.
  7
  The Soldier: Grim is a grizzled old veteran with 
  no qualms about mugging some “panty-waste 
  nobblers”. He hates the aristocracy. He is miss-
  ing his little fingers on both hands from playing 
  Knifey-Spoony. Secret: Shagging Basquin’s 
  wife.
  Cliché Alley
  by Edward Hackett
  ed.hackett@gmail.com
  http://chainsawchirurgeon.blogspot.jp
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A narrow, uneven, twisting, broken-cobbled dead-end 
  street overhung by widow’s walks, dormers and balco-
  nies to drop into any fantasy city. On this street live a 
  d30’s-worth of NPCs, including a shady doctor, a hooker 
  with a heart of gold, a gang of hooligans and a blind 
  beggar. I call it Cliché Alley!
  Thanks, 
   
   
  L. M.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Cliché Alley by Edward Hackett
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  8
  The Spy: Wilhelmina Augustina Georgetta Va-
  pisti is the madam of The Wagging Tail, a now 
  well-established baudy house. Secret: An efficient 
  spy, she has been unnoticed behind enemy lines 
  for nearly 35 years. She has an arrangement 
  with Old Momma Hob to train up the lads and 
  lasses that show certain potential.
  9
  The Blind Beggar: Dorchese Droove, a former 
  masseur, is a warm fellow with an uncanny knack 
  for steering clear of danger despite his infirmity. 
  Secret: He is a master swordsman and blind 
  fighter, wielding a walking stick with deadly 
  precision. He has been recruited by Greyholme.
  10
  The Shady Doctor: Dr. Zemus Szasz is not a 
  good doctor (everyone calls him Sawbones). His 
  practice is a shambles, and yet business is boom-
  ing. Rumour has it that Dr. Szasz has perfected 
  a method to replace limbs and revivify necrotic 
  flesh. Secret: His success is mainly possible due 
  to the illegal acquisition of some Electro-static 
  Harnesses. Zemus has been amassing a horde of 
  corpses in his cellar.
  11
  The Mongrel Mascot: Danio the Dirtear always 
  seems to have all the best gossip and all the rotten 
  luck. He has been run down by a wagon, losing 
  his right hand. He was slashed during a knife 
  duel between two other opponents, losing his left 
  ear after Dr. Szasz botched the surgery. Despite 
  everything, he is a likeable and cheerful lad that 
  everyone chums with despite his half-goblin 
  blood. Secret: Danio is an angel of suffering. 
  When terrible things are meant to happen to 
  others, they affect him instead.
  12
  Soiled Dove: Griaska Lovelace is the pretti-
  est harlot in The Wagging Tail. She is fit and 
  tall and a half-orc. However, she bears little 
  resemblance to her orcish grandfather (some 
  pronounced canine teeth and a slightly upturned 
  nose). Griaska is pursued by most of the men in 
  Triopos Lane, but none so aggressively as Abobo. 
  Griaska has a soft heart; she contributes nearly all 
  of her profits to the Orphanage. Secret: Griaska 
  has an addiction to Dreamsong, a strong seda-
  tive incense.
  13
  The Doomsayer: This crazy old coot gets up on 
  his soap box every morning after breakfast and 
  doesn’t stop until mid-afternoon when he heads 
  home. No one remembers what his name is. He 
  has been standing on the same soap box for nearly 
  40 years shouting about the grim, gruesome end 
  that will soon befall us all. Secret: He is a pow-
  erful wizard (though he forgets that most days) 
  and among the wealthiest men in the city; his 
  wizard tower is full of magical paraphernalia 
  and riches from around the world.
  14
  The Ring Master: Lourdes Leighton-Klein is a 
  widow and now runs her husbands’ old hat shop, 
  Toppers. She is plump and pleasant and has scan-
  dalously taken many lovers since her widowhood. 
  Not-so-Secret: Lourdes also runs the under-
  ground boxing arena under the shop.
  15
  The Huckster: Coalsen Coalsen runs an alche-
  mist cart in Upper and Lower Triopos, selling 
  potions of all kinds. Secret: Main distributor of 
  drugs (magic and otherwise) in Triopos. Sells 
  inexpensive healing potions laced with narcotics 
  to adventuring types. Uses his many children as 
  runners, providing top gear to his many custom-
  ers.
  16
  The Crooked Lawman: Abobo Visooq is a guard 
  captain and a guild collector. His crew of hoo-
  ligans run protection rackets for the guild and 
  guard Triopos Lane for the city. Abobo is openly 
  at odds with Greyholme and has threatened to 
  kill the old paladin. Abobo is also wildly in love 
  with Griaska. Secrets: Has a collection of rare 
  exotic tea cups (worth a small fortune) in his 
  home in Upper Triopos.
  17
  The Cranky Shopkeep: Horus Tribbagle is a 
  shrewd and unpleasant man. His general goods 
  shop provides most of the food, tools and gear to 
  the folks of Cliché Alley. He always pays his cut 
  of protection money to Abobo on time. Secret: 
  Horus is a meticulous record-keeper and he 
  embezzles a portion of his earnings into a fund 
  to aid Mattias in his clean-up project.
  18
  The Streetfightin’ Man: Zeus was a champi-
  on arena fighter that refused to work with the 
  Thieves Guild; ambushed and severely crippled, 
  Zeus now sits on his stoop grinning and drooling 
  every day. Secret: Acquired an electro-static 
  harness that allows him to walk and fight. Runs 
  night missions, assassinating thugs and thieves.
  19
  The Junkie: “Jelly” Kelly Kay is universally 
  disliked. Her wretched, drug-addled body is often 
  found in the alcoves of shops. Her son, Hornet, 
  is at the Orphange. Secret: She is the cursed 
  lost heiress to a foreign throne. Momma Hob 
  is aware of the boy’s lineage and has plans to 
  exploit him.
  20
  The Brazen Hussy: Nora Jenora is a whore. She 
  works the streets and takes tricks to her home 
  somewhere in the winding back alleys. She 
  operates without the protection of a pimp or The 
  Wagging Tail. Secret: Nora is a were-spider; she 
  eats her clientele. She knows of a secret entrance 
  to the now-abandoned chapel in the grounds at 
  Greyholme Manor, which is where she main-
  tains a nest.
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  21
  The Sleazeball: Booker Reigh is a pimp and 
  provides the cheaper, seedier service that johns 
  can’t afford at The Wagging Tail. He is aware of 
  Nora Jenora, but can never seem to catch her. He 
  is wondering where all his customers have gone. 
  Secret: Booker is a displaced noble. His family 
  was crushed in a powerful political coup 10 
  years ago.
  22
  The Outsider: The dark elf, Terdzit, dislikes 
  Triopos because it reminds him of home. His 
  magical sabres have kept the guild toughs at bay, 
  but the encounters are becoming more deadly. 
  Secret: He is searching for a lost magical trinket.
  23
  The Twist: Jonhi Jingles is wonderful and sweet. 
  His bakery is not doing well, but he often gives 
  baskets of day-olds to the hungry in the neigh-
  bourhood. Secret: Johni is a horrid predator of 
  the worst kind. His proclivity for human flesh is 
  uniquely limited to small children.
  24
  The Bareknuckle Belle: The masked cham-
  pion of the arena is Green Star, a young woman 
  with a lethal fighting style. She can hold her own 
  against any number of foes. Secret: Chiaki Agano 
  (Green Star) is the bored daughter of a foreign 
  noble. She seeks thrills by joining prizefights and 
  baiting thugs into attacking her.
  25
  The Shit Wizard: Tallen Illopsis has perfected 
  scatomancy, or shit magic (any spell components 
  or effects can be replaced with shit; the rarer and 
  bigger the component, the better). He makes his 
  lair in the sewers under Cliché Alley. Secret: 
  Hates his offal magical talent and would give 
  anything to cast like a normal magic-user.
  26
  The Holy Man: Father Finn, boozy as he is, pass-
  es through Triopos Lane twice weekly, providing 
  free healing to the wretched and sickly. Secret: 
  Once known as Regefin O‘Rally, dread pirate 
  extraordinaire, his plunder is still hidden on a 
  desert island.
  27
  Aging Barbarian Icon: A legend among the 
  People of the Boar, Cohn Gokh has seen too many 
  winters and longs to die honourably in combat as 
  all his people must. In his depression, he wallows 
  in the gutters of Cliché Alley. Secret: Attained 
  godhood, totally unaware of his deification.
  28
  The Sweet: Xakoph Vazzik is a beardless dwar-
  ven magic-user in exile, making the most wonder-
  ful candies in Upper Triopos (perhaps the entire 
  city). The Sweetery is a strange, vibrant shop with 
  a colourful whirling sign.  Secret: Keeps a Choc-
  olate Golem and bakes Gingersnap Soldiers daily 
  for security.
  29
  The Bard-tender: Cacophonix is the finest 
  kobold voice in their history. The shame is that 
  the kobold musical aesthetic doesn’t hold true 
  among humans. He works as a bartender in The 
  Wagging Tail. Secret: Works with the cloistered 
  playwright Halland Tenpole, writing most of 
  his plays, prose and poetry for him these days.
  30
  The Heartsick Killer: A talented knife for 
  hire in the midst of an existential crisis; Martina 
  Blanc, is tired of killing. She is thinking about 
  becoming a mother and giving up the life. Secret: 
  Knows truth about Old Momma Hob. Lucki-
  ly, Hob doesn’t know she knows. Hired to kill 
  Terdzit the Outsider.
  31
  The Monument: Narcissa’s Tears is the name of 
  the fountain statuary of a Medusa staring into a 
  mirror. Legend says that Father Triopos tricked 
  the vile medusa, Narcissa, into looking at her own 
  reflection. It is bad luck to look into her mirror. 
  Secret: The statuary IS a medusa named Kaio-
  bi. She was moved from her home hundreds of 
  years ago. The truth of her origin is known only 
  to her.
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  Cliché Alley by Edward Hackett
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Elf Ruin Raider
  By Evan Webber
  evan@relativesafety.com
  http://www.gamepieces.com
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  a picture of my elf Ruin Raider.  She is a haughty, attractive and has a chaotic bent.  
  She wears revelaing and ornamented chain and leather armor of high quality.  
  She uses a long sword in one hand and  a larger fist shaped gauntlet that is not 
  articulacted that doubles as a buckler in the other, she does use a cat of nine tails 
  as well or a flail.  Dark haired, demure and sharp eyed.  She hunts the ruins for 
  lost lore and magic along with her chaotic pseduo dragon familiar.  She uses magics 
  to beguile and charm others to her side, or if that fails her own considerable ... 
  Natural assests.
  Thank you Santicore!!?I love you!   
  M.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Elf Ruin Raider By Evan Webber
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Halfling Crime Families
  by James Aulds
  chicory@gmail.com
  http://misanthropicharlot.blogspot.com 
  Who are the Halfling crime families in your city? What 
  are there specialities, dispositions and networks? Where 
  do these diminutive criminals live and work? What types 
  of places do they frequent and what would be discovered 
  there?  What follows are some quick vignettes of some of 
  the major players of the halfling criminal underworld 
  in a small to medium city size setting. These are laid 
  out with names, places, adventure hooks, things, sights 
  , smells, and tastes in a fashion that i would hope one 
  could mix and match to their liking for whatever type 
  of game content was needed, be it NPC’s, Opponents, 
  Friends, or new character generation help.  These are 
  laid out by Place or Business, notice none of them are 
  bars, in the City those are reserved for the human thieves 
  guilds, halflings will always have a front for any crim-
  inal activity. Most branches of a halfling crime family 
  will have numerous nieces and nephews and be connect-
  ed to one to three other locations by family, mix and 
  match at will
  The Coops, Highside
  High up on the City’s northern wall is the what is only 
  called the Coops by locals, for years Chervil Pudding 
  and cousins have tended the City’s Municipal carrier 
  and messenger pigeons. on the side they specialize in 
  gem and rare ingredient smuggling to and from distant 
  lands.A silver feather token in a hat is the badge of this 
  family
  Things: Lots of stairs, narrow walkways, coops, feath-
  ers, pigeon droppings, small sewn shut bags, maps and 
  itineraries,  Giant Killer Pigeon, featherfall, spies send-
  ing parcels, more pigeon droppings. , squab on a stick 
  and hot tea, trapped air elemental in a jar
  The Pearl Divers Union Hall. 
  Poppy Wish-Bone runs the Union Hall for the all fe-
  male halfling Pearl Divers in the city located in a sturdy 
  stone building near the riverfront.  anyone needing 
  magical or mundane pearls knows to treat her and her 
  girls with the respect they deserve or else. They have 
  been suspected of both river piracy and assassination, but 
  no one says that outloud. A tattoo of a dagger through a 
  Wish-Bone is there badge
  Things: Locked barnacle encrusted chests, underwater 
  escape hatches and tunnels, maps to sunken ships, nauti-
  cal equipment, Giant Clams, breathing potions, curved 
  daggers, sharkskin armor, the smell of the river, glow-
  ing kelp, muddy tracks, sea-cats, assassins with harpoon 
  guns, drowning ghosts,  Halfling were-shark, fish soup 
  and salted wine
  Grand Duchess Goat and Pony Works 
  Turmeric Half-Foot is the head trainer, breeder, and 
  livestock manager for the Goat and Pony Works, He and 
  his three brothers, Basil, Dill, and Rhubarb have the 
  finest small animal stock available in the city and have 
  been known to do a bit of smuggling on the side of exotic 
  animals and the occasional confidence game. There 
  Badge is a Carrot in a vest pocket 
  Things: Talking Goats, Haybales, stalls, near the main 
  gate, a deal with the City Watch, small carts, Magic 
  Carrots, pitchforks and whips, goat hide armor, quick 
  escapes from town and news of the roads,  whispers of 
  Diabolical Pacts of Gluttony, manure, manure monster, 
  saddlebags full of sawdust and ancient silver coins, roast-
  ed goat and carrots, cheap ale 
  Spice street
  Brassica juncea is the self proclaimed leader of Spice 
  street, he is a hugely fat halfling born about on a cur-
  tained palanquin by six stout hooded men. He roams 
  the street of spices barking out orders, market prices 
  and quantities of spices available for sale from various 
  street vendors and is often sought as counsel for various 
  affairs by other halfling crime families. His Family all 
  have scarification of a turkey leg in a noose on their right 
  arm.  
  Things: Coying smell of Spices, hot pepper bombs, 
  silvered short swords, hooded thugs, expensive and rare 
  herbs and regents, dark alleyways, far off caravans 
  through the sands, roasted lizards on spits, curried bat 
  wings, a Giant Rot Grub carefully concealed by exotic 
  smells. 
  Lower East Dockside Ship Chandlers and 
  Salvage Claims warehouse
  Tarragon Whisper Clinch, is the well known proprietor 
  of  the warehouse that serves as this business address and 
  everyone including the Watch stays out of the way of his 
  club wielding thugs and workers on the docks. Rumored 
  to be involved in illicit drug smuggling and kidnapping 
  this family is often avoided. a tattoo of a pie with a skull 
  on the top serve as a badge for this group.
  Things: Large Warehouse, creaky floors, cat walks, trap 
  doors, animated chains and hoist monsters. moldy straw, 
  old crates, piles of crates.  old tins of meat, stale tobac-
  co smoke, cheap rum barrels.  giant dire rats.  sentries 
  on patrol, clubs and saps.  escaped princesses/ sea hag.  
  guard dogs. small office up high, locked safe.
  Dear Santicore, I would like... 
  Information on a Halfling crime family, with informa-
  tion on the major players and possibly ideas for loca-
  tions around town that they control.
  Thanks, 
   
   
  J. M.
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  Mama Tallow Hearts Soup Kitchen
  Mama Tallow Heart is a fixture of the City and here 
  soup kitchen feeds countless score of the city’s less fortu-
  nate each day with a bowl of soup and a chunk of bread. 
  Huge in scope with onsite bakeries, grain mills and 
  kitchens all combined in a large stone complex. Mamma 
  Tal as she is know to the swarms of orphans and desti-
  tute that frequent her establishment is often seen with a 
  large ladle and a   chunk of bread in each hand whisper-
  ing to her “little ones” no one has ever questioned how 
  its funded.
  Things: Huge Cauldrons, Hot Ovens, scores of the 
  unwashed. small children running around, silent  mes-
  sengers,  fences for goods, minor cut purses, a very 
  secure vault and office.  soup monster, whispered secrets, 
  information of all kinds, rumors of stolen goods and 
  “rioters” for hire. 
  Glaziers and Leadsmen, 
  Quality Glass Windows
  High Climbing Strawberry Jack and his crew of window 
  men serve the city as fine quality upper story window 
  makers and cleaners by day, by night they are the cat 
  burglars your grandmother feared would steal the tea 
  set from the roof.  having offices and workshops in the 
  builders quarter, its actually hard to find them anywhere 
  but up on a wall working.  they are uniformly known by 
  the distinct leather harness they wear and a coil of rope 
  at there hip.  some say they have seven toes, this is false, 
  mostly.
  Things:  Rope, high towers, scaffolding, tiny thrown 
  knives of glass, glass elementals/constructs. spider 
  climb, hidden signals, whistling of the wind. zephyr 
  bats, the sound of breaking glass. animated rope, spy-
  glasses, hidden caches of art and stolen goods, cold cuts 
  and cheese enjoyed at the top of the city on a ledge. 
  The Clock Tower
  Caretakers and makers of the Citys clocktower are the 
  Brothers Hopfoot, Tack, Tick, and Tock. They are said 
  to rival the skills of even the great Gnome Tinkers of 
  Alvolon with both clocks and locks. These master lock-
  smiths have a key for anything at a price and there badge 
  is a tiny working clock as a lapel pin
  Things, Ticking, Stout Tower, Clockwork curiosities, 
  gear wyrms, keys, wheels, gears, bells, specialty locks, 
  traps , spring loaded wonders. wizard snipers, cold ham 
  and cheese, oiled wine, slippery stairs, timed bombs, 
  cypher machines, wires, sprocket. heavy wrenches
  Quill and Tomes, fine purveyor of every-
  thing written or to write
  Capsium Q and his band of cousin clerks run both a 
  bookshop, scribal supplies and books and ledgers for 
  the citys more criminal element. They can be found 
  hunched over, ink stained hands copying anything and 
  everything in a less than library type atmosphere. Their 
  sygal is of a dagger ended quill tattooed on their little 
  finger. It has been rumored that they can translate any-
  thing magic or mundane. 
  Things, Dust, books, scrolls, inkwells, long tables 
  stacks of books, parchment monster, a thousand paper 
  cuts, glowing letters, a printing press possesed by a devil 
  and chained to a wall. apples and viper pie, cold cider, 
  whispering ink, secret ledgers, magic quills, silence and 
  uproar.
  La Petite Fowl, a gravy shoppe
  Roux Lagrou, once of a far and distant land is the chef 
  at this tiny shop on the corner of market and parade 
  street, it features a revolving menue, expensive prices 
  and just 7 tables in alcoves.  private conversations and 
  brokered deals are the dessert for this particular eatery 
  and it is said Roux can broker anything from a art theft 
  to the assassination of an Ogre Mage.  Privileged Patrons 
  receive a tiny silver spoon  on a chain that serves as an 
  after hours key 
  Things, Chicken and Gravy with Biscuits and Butter. 
  refined dining, Spies of the Ogre Mage, revolving tables, 
  impressive interdimensional wine cellar, main door with 
  a peep hole, scents from the kitchen both pleasant and 
  fowl, mute waiters, soured milk, a disguised cockatrice, 
  mysterious delivery men on rickshaw, recording candles, 
  a torn bit of menu with an arcane note 
  SouthGate Butchers and Bones
  Directly Outside the citys south gate  surrounded by 
  a fence of bones is this Butchershop, guarded by hye-
  na-camel hybrids its a foreboding and stinking place, but 
  just where you go for that prize cut of meat. Half-Shank 
  Harry has run the place for years with his small crew of 
  bloody coated butchers and special delivery men. They 
  are rumored to be able to cover anyones tracks and any 
  crime. 
  Things, Bones, Heaps of Bones, the stench, rose bushes 
  growing around the building, garlic and lamb stew, a 
  stout porter in a leather tankard, bones, vorpal cleaver, 
  cauldrons of blood, sausage monsters, dispose of the bod-
  ies, couriers of ill gotten grave goods, brown wrapping 
  paper and twine. a large whetstone wheel, honing oil, 
  leather apron of butchering, a large wagon with what 
  looks to be a dragon corpse on it, meat pie recipe 
  City Opera House
  Ms. Pennyroyale is reputed to have been the greatest 
  halfling opera singer in her time, now her and her loyal 
  patron the dwarf Hruk Iron-Tooth run the grand City 
  Opera House with showings noon, matinee, and thrice 
  bells evening time on most weekends and occasionaly 
  during the week for civic benefits. Its a highbrow es-
  tablishment for the citys betters formed of red worked 
  stone and purple teak wood. Patrons and others will 
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  always recognize Opera Guild members by their purple 
  baldricks decorated by three silver music notes, but what 
  most dont know is what happens in the basement and 
  what all that loud singing covers up
  Things, Goblin pit fights, crazed betting, illicit drug 
  smoke, a lich’s head in a lead box. dancing scimitars, 
  invitation only, secret staircases, velvet curtains, box 
  office. cages of berserker goblins far underneath, blood-
  sport, High dignitaries, foreign ambassadors, geist ice 
  wine and horsderves  
  Shovel and Trowel, Gardener for Hire 
   Horatio Leaf-stache is a gardener, known by the city’s 
  elite as the best in the area, he can make a tree bloom in 
  the dead of winter it is said. He keeps a small and tidy 
  cottage near the citys walled perfume gardens but is sel-
  dom there as he has much work to do. he can be tracked 
  down whistling while he works in any number of private 
  gardens and is only usually in the company of one or two 
  of his nondescript helpers, each of whom carry a silver 
  trowel in their belt. It is said that those looking for his 
  favor will quietly sit on a park bench with a flower and 
  meditate 
  Things, rose bushes, grape vines, sickles, scythes, nin-
  ja-halflings. high walls, secret tunnels, spore bombs, an-
  gry dryad, shovel to the head.  cuttings, monster plants, 
  wheelbarrow, magic beans. chrysanthemum, daisy, 
  poppy, rare herbs, shambling mound.
  sundials, moonbeams, weeping willows, and yes NIN-
  JA_HALFLINGS
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  PRINCES IN SHADOW
  by Erik Jensen
  http://wampuscountry.blogspot.com
  Below are eight factions which may be dropped into any 
  campaign to add an extra layer of “movers and shak-
  ers” to the overt political forces present.  Operating at 
  various levels of secrecy, these factions are not inherent-
  ly tied to any alignment or religion, and could easily be 
  interpreted as villains, heroes, or wildcards as necessary.
  SIX BLOOD NATION
  Goals: Wealth, local sociopolitical control
  Traits: Semi-secret, Criminal, Dispersed
  Skills: Thievery, Local Knowledge (Streetwise), Pugi-
  lism and Knife-fighting
  The Six Blood Nation are a loose confederation of 
  criminal and bandit gangs who engage in various petty 
  larcenies, racketeering, and local ‘protection’ schemes.  
  Originally formed by six allied gangs - hence the name 
  - the Nation now incorporates perhaps hundreds of 
  associated groups across the continent, each operating 
  independently and without a central command or hier-
  archy.  The Nation’s symbol is six daggers arranged in a 
  star, but most members of the organization wear instead 
  the mark or colors of their local gang.  In some areas, 
  the Six Blood Nation serve as actual protectors and 
  advocates of the locals; in others, they are cruel and vi-
  olent extortionists.  When disputes arise between gangs, 
  the masters of other nearby gangs are called in to form a 
  council of judgment and keep the peace.
  IVORY SYNDICATE
  Goals: Wealth through control of commerce
  Traits: Secret, Criminal, Hierarchical
  Skills: Thievery, Mercantile, Interrogation
  From its beginning procuring and shipping ivory, the 
  Syndicate were consummate professionals who wasted 
  neither time nor action, watched their profit margins 
  closely, and reinvested carefully.  Today, the Ivory Syn-
  dicate is a tightly-managed criminal enterprise which 
  has diversified widely and promotes from within based on 
  merit and the profitability of an agent’s acts and invest-
  ments.  Although the Syndicate occasionally organizes 
  an effort to steal jewels or high-end art, these operations 
  provide only short-term influxes of cash; the Syndicate 
  primarily grows slowly and quietly, moving into an 
  area and working to corner the market on goods which 
  will always be in demand (olive or palm oil, ghee, food 
  staples, water supply).  The insidious merchants who 
  control the Ivory Syndicate’s highest levels think and 
  work in the long term, and would rather take a small-
  er profit margin over a period of years than stir things 
  up unnecessarily chasing a big score that would draw 
  unwanted attention.  Syndicate operatives bear geometric 
  tattoos on their left arms which indicate rank within the 
  organization.
  TALESPINNERS LEAGUE
  Goals: Prestige, Fun, Exploration
  Traits: Public, Exploratory
  Skills: Exploration, Navigation, Oratory, Lore, Secrets
  Depending on who you’re asking, the Talespinners 
  League is either an association of daring explorers, or a 
  club for drunken tomb-robbers.  Raconteurs and brag-
  garts all, the Talespinners gather periodically to swap 
  Munchausen-style stories of their grand adventures in 
  far-flung lands, subterranean caverns, and forgotten 
  tombs - the more dangerous and improbable, the better.  
  Learning the tales of others, so you can repeat them lat-
  er, is half the fun of being a Talespinner; and when two 
  members have conflicting versions of a story, they may 
  be called upon to recite the genealogy of the tale - where 
  they heard it, from whom, and so on back to the origi-
  nal teller.  Talespinners understand that stories evolve 
  and take on a life of their own, and accuracy is not as 
  important as entertainment; however, hidden knowledge 
  rests within some of the tales.  The story of how Ateek 
  the Clever stole a fist-sized diamond from the one-eyed 
  giant may actually contain encoded instructions to lo-
  cate a secret entrance into the Sultan’s palace...
  THE DOG-HEADS
  Goals: Massive societal change
  Traits: Secret, Revolutionary, Political
  Skills: Oratory, Rabble-rousing, Makeshift demolitions
  The Dog-Heads are a sub rosa organization of revolu-
  tionary intellectuals and disaffected peasants who seek 
  to overthrow monarchs and petty princes of all stripes 
  and institute a more equitable, free society.  Economic 
  class, social caste, and divisive religions are all targets 
  of the Dog-Heads, who are happy to resort to violence.  
  Cells of Dog-Heads operate secretly in many cities and 
  towns, meeting to espouse their political philosophies 
  and occasionally plan substantive operations against 
  the status quo political machine.  The Dog-Heads plant 
  bombs, start fires, and attack merchant caravans, often 
  disguising themselves as bandits or barbarians, or other-
  wise attempting to cover their tracks.
  THE GAMESMEN
  Goals: Stability, Free flow of trade
  Traits: Secret, Hierarchical
  Skills: Espionage, Cryptography, Assassination
  This covert brotherhood is dedicated to keeping the 
  tradelanes open and commerce flowing; war and crisis 
  bring instability that damages trade, so the Gamesmen 
  aim to support order whenever possible.  Agents of the 
  Gamesmen, who tend to think of themselves as gentle-
  men-spies, recognize one another through certain secret 
  Dear Secret Santicore, this year I’m really hoping to get some 
  factions together for my sandbox campaign. Can you give me 
  some potential movers and shakers for my campaign, or a way 
  of generating them? Bonus points if the factions don’t have a 
  default faux-European setting assumption. :)
  (Santicore asked Humza and he said “”I’d love to see something 
  particularly North African or Silk Road inspired.“”)
  Many thanks! 
   
   
   
  H. K.
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  signs and the symbolism of gambling, shatranj, and 
  mancala - hence their appelation.  It is said that a pair 
  of Gamesmen can deliver covert communiques to one 
  another through a silent game of chess, with the relative 
  positions of the myriad pieces serving as a kind of cipher.  
  The command of the Gamesmen is terribly obscure, and 
  two agents may find themselves at odds with one another 
  due to conflicting orders.
  CHILDREN OF THE CITY
  Goals: Occult knowledge, global defense
  Traits: Mystical, Secret
  Skills: Arcane knowledge, Deep meditation
  Centuries ago, shepherds watched from the hills as a 
  great city folded in upon itself and disappeared to some 
  other place; today, the spiritual descendants of those 
  pastoralists strive to learn ever-more about what oc-
  curred that day.  Mysterious in the extreme, the Chil-
  dren of the City hoard secret knowledge regarding other 
  worlds, bizarre geometries, and the occult history of the 
  world.  They tremble at the thought of where the City 
  went, and what horrors might come through from the 
  other side, so they obsess over anything which could 
  suggest cross-dimensional travel or leakage.  When the 
  Children gather, they descend into wild dervish-dances 
  while in altered states of consciousness.  Some Children 
  are scholarly, and spend their lives poring over ancient 
  books; others transform themselves into hunters, seek-
  ing those things which do not belong in our world, so 
  that they might be destroyed.  A very few - known as the 
  Wakeful - assume a monastic existence to watch over 
  locations of current or former spatial anomalies.
  SOCIETY OF SALT
  Goals: Universal brotherhood, financial control
  Traits: Public, Charitable
  Skills: Accounting, Diplomacy, Healing
  Founded as an ecumenical charity association, the 
  Society of Salt calls upon the bonds of universal hospi-
  tality and collects funds to provide food, health care, 
  and housing to all men in times of crisis or disaster.  
  The Society assists the poor, refugees, and the displaced 
  throughout the region, and is supported by many good 
  men and women of various faiths, based on the concept 
  of shared humanity.  The Society of Salt’s side-business-
  es, originally designed to maintain the charitable trust, 
  bring in quite a bit of money, and the Society has taken 
  to offering loans - at substantial interest - when advanta-
  geous.  Although still considered a charity, the Society 
  is poised to become a full-fledged shadow bank, with the 
  ability to fund - or ruin - princes.
  THE HOUSE INVISIBLE
  Goals: Ubiquitous influence
  Traits: Secret, Familial
  Skills: Diplomacy, Manipulation
  The members of the House Invisible are all interrelated 
  descendants of the pretender-scion to a long-forgotten 
  Khanate.  While their original goal centuries ago was to 
  reclaim that throne, in time the plan shifted - why take 
  one crown, when they can secretly control all of them?  
  To that end, the House Invisible has inserted its sons and 
  daughters into positions of importance throughout the 
  continent - viziers, bankers, minor nobles, bandit lords, 
  generals, merchants, priests - in a concerted attempt 
  to rule the known world in secret.  As the family has 
  intermarried with various other lines, the members of 
  the House Invisible may be of any ethnicity and religion; 
  a council of Elders approves marriages and controls 
  the important occasional inbreeding to keep the scion’s 
  bloodline from being too watered down.
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  Blood, Words, and Money: 
  Organizations and Factions
  by Humza Kazmi
  allandaros@gmail.com
  http://lotbieth.blogspot.com
  Organizations:
  Determine the size of your organization, to figure out 
  how many subgroups it will possess. “Small” organiza-
  tions will have 1d4+1 subgroups, medium organizations 
  1d6+1, and large organizations 1d8+1. These things 
  will get byzantine quickly so be warned. I recommend 
  something like five groups as a manageable yet intricate 
  balance. (Hey, it works for Magic: the Gathering...)
  Subgroups and Powers:
  For each subgroup present in your organization, roll a 
  d6 on this chart to see what sort of a role it plays. 
  1
  Intelligence - Gathers information for the or-
  ganization in some capacity. Magical scrying? 
  Wiretaps? Are they looking at communications, 
  individuals, social context, or even just basic facts? 
  They’re likely to have the most on-the-ground 
  contacts, familiarity with locations - and the most 
  information about what other parties are doing. 
  2
  Resources - This can either be equipment - some-
  thing like James Bond’s Q Branch, putting together 
  gadgets - or it can be finances, false identities, 
  forged documents, and the like. Their focus is 
  eliminating sources of friction and allowing other 
  groups to complete their objectives; throw enough 
  money at Resources and problems melt away. 
  3
  Administration - Avoid making this an executive 
  group, and skew towards administrative, manageri-
  al and human resources issues. Personnel, staffing, 
  and coordination. Sounds bland, but they’ve got 
  their fingers in everything. There’s a reason Stalin 
  made sure to secure the personnel and assignment 
  apparatus in his rise to power - personnel assign-
  ments mean that they’ve got control over who 
  works where, and also who has access to what.
  4
  Operations - This group takes active steps to im-
  plement things. Generally filling the “field agent” 
  category, and the most likely group to be autho-
  rized for use of force. They’ll have personnel with 
  the most field experience.
  5
  Internal Affairs - This group watches the watchers, 
  and quite possibly sticks them underneath a bright 
  light and asks them a bunch of terrifying questions. 
  They have investigative authority over the other 
  groups, even at very high levels - but nobody trusts 
  them for obvious reasons. 
  6
  Roll again twice and combine both rolls.* 
  *If this result comes up on the reroll, do not merge two 
  groups, but create a “Communications” subgroup in-
  stead. Communications groups are responsible for the 
  security of information transmission - which means that 
  they have access to all of it. (It’s a rarer group to en-
  counter than the rest, but once in a while it will pop up.)
  Depending on the independence of each sub-group, 
  you’re likely to have some elements of each role present 
  in each subgroup. For example, it’s reasonable for an Ac-
  tion group to create its own dead drops, caches, and the 
  like, to ensure that there’s less chance of the resources 
  getting compromised. Of course, these grey areas are the 
  subject of wrangling and infighting. 
  Good intelligence work, Control had 
  always preached, was gradual and rested 
  on a kind of gentleness. The scalphunters 
  were the exception to his own rule. 
  They weren’t gradual, and 
  they weren’t gentle either. 
  -John le Carre, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
  Actions
  Once you’ve created your subgroups, figure out how spe-
  cialized they are at their given task on a scale of 1-20 (1 
  being not at all, 20 being hyper-specialized; these scores 
  should be in the 13-20 range, since each group is inher-
  ently specialized). When a subgroup takes a significant 
  action relating to its specialty (a field operation for 
  Operations, an investigation for Internal Affairs, a 
  major R&D project for Resources, etc) they need to roll 
  underneath their specialization score. When a subgroup 
  takes a significant action outside of its specialty (Intel-
  ligence running an investigation into Internal Affairs 
  because they think that IA is compromised) they need to 
  roll over their specialization score.
  If a roll fails, roll a d6 to figure out why:
  1-2
  Misfortune: Bad luck, someone in the wrong 
  place at the wrong time - it was all going smooth-
  ly, but unforeseeable events resulted in failure.
  3-4
  Hostile Intervention: Everything your organiza-
  tion did was fine, but an unexpected intervention 
  (another subgroup? A hostile organization?) 
  wound up interfering with your plans.
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A set of tables to generate an organization’s internal subdivisions and conflicts.
  The tables should produce a number of subgroups, their role, goals, and powers in 
  the organization, the nature of their alliances and/or conflicts (“”we’re under-
  funded and underpaid, so sure, we skim a bit off the top””), the characteristics 
  of the groups (“”the Xanthic Guard are really efficient, but they’ll challenge 
  anyone to a duel at the least indication they’ve been insulted, so watch out””), 
  and a way to generate a representative NPC from each group that the PCs could 
  productively interact with to influence each group (the actual supervisor of that 
  department, the assistant who is the only one to get anything done and thus wields 
  disproportionate power, the trusted mentor who everyone looks to, etc).
  Thanks,  
   
   
   
  S. G.
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  5
  Incompetence: Worse than a crime, it was a blun-
  der. Someone in the subgroup messed things up, 
  whether in planning, execution, or somewhere in 
  between. 
  6
  Managerial Intervention: DAMMIT! Meddling 
  and micromanagement, whether from the sub-
  group’s leader or from the head of the organiza-
  tion, has caused this action to fail. 
  If needed, use the margin of the failed d20 roll to figure 
  out how visible the failure is. On a margin of 1 or 2, it’s 
  a failure, but nobody knows about it and the damage is 
  contained. On a margin of 3 or 4, the subgroup needs to 
  choose between losing resources (cutting agents loose, 
  massive bribes, etc.) or having a failure become public 
  knowledge. If the margin’s 5 or greater, you lose the 
  resources and the failure is public. 
  Alliances/Conflicts:
  Arrange the subgroups within the organization in a 
  circle. Adjacent nodes interact often; opposing nodes are 
  rivals, compete for resources and budgets, or otherwise 
  antagonistic towards each other.
  Paranoia is just having the right information. 
  -William S. Burroughs
   
  Subgroup Goals:
  1
  Expand: Grow larger, acquire more resources. Use 
  as a default behavior for organizations if you don’t 
  want subgroup goals.
  2
  Replace / Eclipse: Supplant another subgroup with-
  in the organization.
  3
  Suborn: Gain control of another subgroup.
  4
   Crown: Promote head of this subgroup to head of 
  the organization.
  5
  Realign: Swap places with another subgroup (re: 
  alliances/conflict above).
  6
  Defect: Leave the organization, either to an oppos-
  ing organization or to become independent.
  “Management is proving beyond a shadow 
  of a doubt they don’t have enough to do,” 
  she murmured back. 
  “So they’ve invented a new acronym.” 
  - Connie Willis, Bellwether
  Representative NPC: 
  Need to have an encounter with someone from this 
  group? Roll on this chart! (Nomenclature format cribbed 
  from Echo Bazaar: echobazaar.failbettergames.com ). 
  1
  Bored Bureaucrat
  2
  Unlikely Academic
  3
  Passive-Aggressive Clerk
  4
  Jovial Amateur
  5
  Bluff Professional
  6
  Ambitious Underling
  7
  Powerhungry Boss
  8
  Burned-out Workaholic
  9
  Rebellious Naysayer
  10
  Recalled Veteran
  11
  Disinterested Middle Management
  12
  Charismatic Leader
  13
  Evangelist “Team Player”
  14
  Jaded Outcast
  15
  Foreign Contractor
  16
  Detestable Visionary
  17
  Giggly Social Climber
  18
  Shameless Brown-noser
  19
  Punctilious Charmer
  20
  Useless Wanker
  “It is a truth universally acknowledged 
  that a sane employee in possession of 
  his wits must be in want of a good manager.” 
  - Charles Stross, The Fuller Memorandum
  Subgroup Quirks:
  Roll twice. The first roll is what the group’s friends 
  think of them; the second is what their enemies or oppo-
  sition think (or suspect).
   
  1
  Use secret signals extensively
  2
  Are older than they seem
  3
  Are suspected of brainwashing their members
  4
  Will accept anyone
  5
  Are behind on their taxes
  6
  Were acquired in a hostile takeover
  7
  Have distinctive facial tattoos
  8
  Have friendly ties with (Table A)
  9
  Are well-known about town
  10
  Rob from the (Table B), give to the (Table B)
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Blood, Words, and Money: Organizations and Factions by Humza Kazmi
  
  107
  107
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  11
  Operate by night
  12
  Use exotic animals as messengers
  13
  Swallow up real estate
  14
  Use offensive tactics (PETA offensive? Kneecap-
  ping offensive? Up to you)
  15
  Have ferocious, almost inhuman, discipline
  16
  Are fiscally irresponsible
  17
  Have a naïve mission or motivations
  18
  Have a highly placed deep cover asset within 
  (Table A)
  19
  Have horrendous uniforms
  20
  Focus on long-term strategy 
  Table A
  1-2
  Another subgroup within the organization
  3
  Local government
  4
  A faction within another organization
  5
  Organized crime
  6
  Revolutionaries / Dissidents
   
  Table B
  1
  Rich
  2
  Poor
  3
  Religious
  4
  Academic
  5
  Labor
  6
  Management
   
  Major Influences:
  Paranoia – Allen Varney, 2005, RPG
  Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy – John le Carre, 1974, novel
  The Atrocity Archives – Charles Stross, 2004, novel
  Thanks to Mikah McCabe 
  ( http://thebonehenge.blogspot.com/ ) for her assistance 
  and feedback and love of ridiculous lists. 
  *************************
  I live in the Managerial Age, 
  in a world of “Admin.” The greatest evil 
  is not now done in those sordid “dens of crime” 
  that Dickens loved to paint. It is not done 
  even in concentration camps and labour camps. 
  In those we see its final result. But it is 
  conceived and ordered (moved, seconded, 
  carried, and minuted) in clean, carpeted, 
  warmed and well-lighted offices, by quiet 
  men with white collars and cut fingernails 
  and smooth-shaven cheeks who do not need to 
  raise their voices. Hence, naturally enough, 
  my symbol for Hell is something like the 
  bureaucracy of a police state or the office 
  of a thoroughly nasty business concern. 
  -C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters (preface)
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Blood, Words, and Money: Organizations and Factions by Humza Kazmi
  
  108
  108
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Noble Clan Generator
  by M. Diaz
  mattgusta@gmail.com
  http://gloomtrain.blogspot.com/
  d10
  House
  Secret
  Source of 
  Power
  Leader
  1
  Adelphus
  Bound to a demon by pacts most 
  ancient and foul
  Ties to Church
  Ruled by grotesque appetites and uncanny 
  predilections
  2
  Cavendish
  Caper and cavort in wicked 
  midnight bacchanals
  Sheer privilege
  Cheerfully inbred moron
  3
  Cromlech
  Prophesied to bring about terrible 
  catastrophe
  Scholarly 
  talent
  Avuncular, seasoned statesman; loves them 
  some prostitutes
  4
  Crowley
  Ruled by a cabal of vampires
  Organized 
  crime
  Oscillates between mostly kindly pragma-
  tism and frothing psychopathy
  5
  Gladstone
  Plan to overturn the rightful ruler 
  of the land
  Ties to govern-
  ment
  Megalomaniacal genius with childlike 
  sensibilities
  6
  Herpetou
  Participating in a conspiracy of 
  centennial length and ecumenical 
  proportions
  Military might
  Child kept on short leash by manipulative 
  handlers
  7
  Lascelle
  Desire to resurrect their 
  inhuman clan progenitor
  Sorcery
  Seized by Byronic melancholy; addicted to 
  opium; writes terrible poetry
  8
  Prestor
  Bloodline bears a terrible disease
  Popular sup-
  port
  A sorcerer of prodigious talent and bound-
  less ambition
  9
  Salazar
  Dream every night of mighty con-
  flagration and unending flood
  Banking
  Saintly sense of morals with sinister bearing; 
  is squeaky clean despite everyone’s suspi-
  cions
  10
  Savile
  Patriarch is actually a woman
  Business
  Innumerable, public affairs make for endless 
  rumor-mill grist; loathed by spouse
  d10
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A random Noble family/clan generator, with the possibility 
  of generating other families/clans, enemies and plot hooks, 
  others disposition to the clan-s with a few rolls.
  This is what i think would be cool to see something in this 
  style , when you have finished generating:
  clan is wealthy, has a dark secret, publicly known, Sworn ene-
  mies whit clan b & c, political liaison whit family D..
  Thanks,  
   
  H. C.
  Relationship
  Stronghold
  Wealth
  Dubious Allies
  1
  Longtime allies 
  of…
  Gilt palace riddled with 
  chapels
  Valuable but 
  illiquid hold-
  ings
  Elite mercenaries wearing crow’s head 
  helmets
  2
  Leader in love 
  with head of…
  Decrepit manor surround-
  ed by toiling peasants
  Wealthy, but 
  not for long
  The Beldame, a virtuoso assassin with a 
  thing for needles
  3
  Ancient rivals of…
  Frigid northern castle
  Massive re-
  serves, little 
  income
  The Magus Bashool, a necromancer of ques-
  tionable loyalties and troubling ethics
  4
  Shadow war 
  with…
  Contemporary urban 
  estate
  Steady cash 
  flow
  Pack of half-starved, semi-trained, and 
  uncannily sapient wolves
  5
  Secret treaty 
  with…
  Dour converted abbey
  Middling 
  wealth, lots of 
  embezzlement
  Red Madama, an insane butterfly demon 
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Noble Clan Generator by M. Diaz
  
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  109
  109
  6
  Wants a political 
  marriage with…
  Imposing mountain for-
  tress
  Razor thin 
  margins
  King of Knots, gallows-spirit and malign 
  ghost of a long dead monarch
  7
  Seeks to utterly 
  destroy…
  Gothic monstrosity out in 
  the forest
  Impoverished
  Rompa, shark-toothed sea giant who has 
  power over ice
  8
  Attempting hos-
  tile takeover of…
  Abominably gauche rococo 
  estate
  Nobody’s sure, 
  exactly
  Trugulore and Choss, Attorneys-At-Brawl
  9
  Owes a big favor 
  to…
  Classical lakeside villa
  Incalculably 
  wealthy
  No-Face Man, can crawl through mirrors 
  and dreams
  10
  Petty grudge 
  against…
  Sepulcral subterranean 
  complex
  Make a lot, 
  spend a lot
  Unnamed rogue angel; once held power over 
  mercy, now seriously reconsidering
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Noble Clan Generator by M. Diaz
  
  110
  110
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  NPC Feud Generator
  by Ryan Silva
  d10
  Family:
  Non-family:
  Hicks:
  1
  Half-siblings. Pater familias raised one 
  when an abusive wastrel, later abandoned 
  them. Took another wife after he cleaned 
  up his act and raised newer child (/chil-
  dren) prosperously. After death, conten-
  tious funeral resulted in blood feud.
  Hero abandoned quest at most pivotal 
  moment. Trying to get on with a quiet 
  life but still constantly in contact with 
  those he failed.
  Stole mah durn horse
  2
  Grandmother’s last will and testament a 
  tontine. Everyone involved surreptitious-
  ly engaging in Milton Bradlian hijinks in 
  attempt to off the others.
  NPCs in question not actually human. 
  Imitative organisms in human form 
  attempting anthropological study of peo-
  ple observing conflict and inadvertently 
  giving cultural critique by feigning 
  hatred and aggression at the other. Will 
  send results to governing body for use in 
  informing later invasion.
  Burned mah durn house
  3
  Someone fucked someone they weren’t 
  a-sposed to. Parentage possibly in dispute
  Someone fucked someone they weren’t 
  a-sposed to. Parentage possibly in ques-
  tion.
  Copied mah durn recipe
  4
  Group descends from apical ancestor con-
  demned to self-destruction via magical 
  curse. Magic is Lamarck as fuck and by 
  breeding he has doomed his lineage to 
  forever seek to terminate themselves in 
  attempt for cosmic balance.
  Land parties live on contains demonic 
  isotope which fosters hatred in feedback 
  loop designed to exponentially increase 
  dislikes into sheer hatreds and then 
  murderous rages. Investigating area will 
  likely lead to contraction of hate virus 
  which will only grow the closer PCs get 
  to naked hate-ore.
  Offended mah durn 
  deity
  5
  One party secretly in thrall to demon. 
  Cannot reveal contract and must keep 
  up appearance of hating the other par-
  ty(s), which naturally leads to reciprocal 
  hatred. Demon demands hostility to keep 
  itself manifest in the physical world.
  Origins of rivalry predate record-
  ed history. Every known ancestor of 
  parties known to hate other. Continues 
  into primitive ancestry past cellular 
  organisms. Attempts at peeling back 
  atavistic hate onion will drive PC(s) to 
  madness as hatred reveals itself to take 
  place earlier and earlier in the universal 
  blueprint. When at last the fundament 
  of conflict is reached the war deity will 
  shriek at having its eye forced opened 
  and will recruit players to herald new 
  age of destruction.
  Transmuted mah durn 
  lead
  6
  Common relative an infamous criminal 
  who was otherwise charming and cordial 
  to all family members. One party has 
  changed name to dissociate from crimi-
  nal legacy, other group has kept name to 
  honor the person they knew rather than 
  the media figure. Relative’s associates and 
  families of victims soon come calling.
  Hoi-polloi protesting for elites to 
  recognize military contributions of 
  farmer-soldiers, abandoned work until 
  concessions made. Elites beseech PCs to 
  bust up protests.
  Jiggered mah durn plow
  Dear Secret Santicore, I would like... 
  a list of feuds, vendettas, and bitter rivalries between NPCs 
  or groups of NPCs. Why are these guys so mad at each other?
  Thanks,  
   
   
  V.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  NPC Feud Generator by Ryan Silva
  
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  111
  111
  7
  Parties possess polarized spirit animals 
  which can only exist in a harmony of 
  discord, one always engaged against the 
  other in predatorial relationship. Vio-
  lence between the two remains constant 
  but measured until introduction of PCs 
  leads to escalation of viciousness.
  Small, sphreical being named Bim floats 
  above area. Part of his nature is to put 
  adoration and hatred in populations 
  it floats over in increasingly intense 
  amounts. One person starts feeling an 
  inexplicable loathing for the first person 
  s/he lays eyes on, while another, random 
  citizen will have a corresponding sense 
  of love for the first person s/he lays eyes 
  on. The process will spread to more cit-
  izens in increasing intensities until half 
  of the population welcomes its slaughter 
  at the hands of the blood-crazed other 
  half.
  Scared off mah durn 
  livestock
  8
  Changing economies and technologies 
  have rendered family business untenable. 
  One party engaged in secretly destroying 
  competition, other wishes to not resort 
  to violence but mutely tolerates increased 
  business albeit with mounting displea-
  sure.
  A while back they were partners in 
  medicinal huckster scheme to dupe local 
  yokels with (equivalent to) snake oil 
  sham. Rather than placebo, purported 
  medicine actually was a highly-addic-
  tive narcotic that eventually leads to 
  zombification processes. One developed 
  a conscious and spilled the beans. After 
  getting run out of town the two are on 
  expectedly rough terms.
  Gave me a durn dirty 
  look
  9
  NPC disappointed in other NPC’s child, 
  sees child as bad influence for other 
  children in the family. Parent takes great 
  issue at this.
  Loved one(s) of one party secretly in 
  forced service of the other party. Com-
  plications prevent the matter from being 
  taken up with authorities.
  Mocked mah durn 
  accent
  10
  One NPC adopted into the family. Never 
  being fully accepted by some blood 
  relations has sparked up tensions now 
  that, many years after all involved have 
  grown and formed families of their own, 
  one family gets harassed by anonymous 
  threats eventually associated to the ad-
  opted relative.
  One NPC a native to a border culture. 
  Imperial forces committed iconoclasm 
  on his temple and driving his people 
  from the homeland. Forcibly assimi-
  lating into a new culture, the native 
  has picked a shopkeep for no particular 
  reason to vent his built-up rage through 
  public disrespect and private cursing 
  rituals.
  Fucked someone ya 
  weren’t a-sposed to. 
  Parentage possibly in 
  question.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  NPC Feud Generator by Ryan Silva
  
  112
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  Some or one new Horror / Fantasy / Post Poc inspired 
  NPC
  Thanks, 
   
   
  T. K.
  Fantastic, Horrific, and 
  Post-Apocalyptic NPC 
  Generator
  by Matt Nicksic
  nxknxk@gmail.com
  dmgttg.blogspot.com
  Individuals:
  1
  a well-armored
  kill-bot
  menaces an infant
  2
  a smartly-attired
  monkey
  strops a gleaming straight razor
  3
  a feral
  child
  grasps a severed doll's head by its hair
  4
  a messianic
  mutant
  worships a strange artifact from the Before-Before
  5
  a sadistic
  doctor
  hides a syringe full of a sickly green fluid
  6
  a crazed
  reaver
  brandishes a jagged piece of rusty metal
  7
  a reanimated
  xenomorph
  is repairing a piece of strange technology
  8
  a philosophical
  supercomputer
  holds a protracted debate with signals from another star
  9
  a heroic
  abomination
  raises the tattered flag of a long-forgotten state
  10
  a jaded
  hemophage
  dances in a burlesque show
  11
  a dying
  clone
  shows you a collection of eyeballs
  12
  a cyborg
  warlord
  is field-stripping a mini-gun
  13
  a gangrenous
  dwarf
  wears a red raincoat
  14
  a cryonically-preserved corpse
  carries a memetic virus in its brain
  15
  a hyper-intelligent
  plant
  has found the key to enlightenment
  16
  a sewer-dwelling
  morlock
  holds a vigil for their one true love
  17
  a phosphorescent
  fog
  keeps the village in its thrall
  18
  a humorless
  cenobite
  plays with a bladed toy
  19
  a chatty
  clown
  clutches at its entrails
  20
  a bunny-suited
  humanoid
  drags a double bit axe behind it
  21
  a psychic
  brain slug
  causes terrible nightmares
  22
  a gregarious
  plague-bearerer is touching something of yours
  23
  a desperate
  super-soldier
  holds on to their last shred of humanity
  24
  a heretical
  priest
  performs an exorcism
  25
  a demonic
  teddybear
  wields a meat cleaver
  26
  a blood-soaked
  cheerleader
  feverishly tries to start a chainsaw
  27
  an inbred
  redneck
  leads a gimp by a length of chain
  28
  a slender
  albino
  tears at its own flesh
  29
  an ecstatic
  doppleganger
  laps at the unknown liquid seeping from a burlap sack
  30
  a tattooed
  witch doctor
  hallucinates on psychotropic fish
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Fantastic, Horrific, and Post-Apocalyptic NPC  Generator by Matt Nicksic
  
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  113
  113
  Groups:
  1
  a vengeful
  mob
  is burying someone alive
  2
  a rabid
  pack of wolves
  stalks the wastelands
  3
  a badly-organized
  militia
  has become hopelessly lost
  4
  a wildly optimistic
  druidic council
  sings paeans to the forest primeval
  5
  a nomadic
  shoal of land squid
  draws strange and disturbing patterns in the sand
  6
  a diseased
  murder of crows
  recites nursery rhymes in unison
  7
  a freakishly large
  rat king
  feeds on the wounded and dying combatants
  8
  a starving
  zombie horde
  roams the city streets
  9
  a fleeing
  army platoon
  has discovered the gate to Hell
  10
  a curious
  slumber party
  uses the ouija board irresponsibly
  11
  a capiroted
  procession of zealots
  carries a withered saint on a gestatorial chair
  12
  a beleaguered
  salt cartel
  has been raided by NPC/Group
  13
  a satanic
  motorcycle gang
  occupies the abandoned sanatorium
  14
  an unsuspecting
  group of students
  parties at the moon tower
  15
  a suicidal
  congregation
  offers you a refreshing beverage
  16
  an insufferable
  team of amateur sleuths
  investigates the haunted amusement park
  17
  a ruthless
  death squad
  has enacted a kangaroo-court
  18
  a hedonistic
  fungal colony
  celebrates the annual orgy
  19
  a weakening
  hive mind
  keeps closed the thin barrier between worlds
  20
  a creepy
  pair of twins
  speaks to one another in an unidentifiable language
  21
  a cannibalistic
  tribe of subhumans
  prepares an elaborate feast
  22
  an evangelical
  doomsday cult
  is having recruiting drive
  23
  a puritanical
  hate-group
  is burning NPC/Group at the stake
  24
  a degenerate
  religious sect
  sacrifices NPC/Group in a bizarre ritual
  25
  a plucky
  trio of housepets
  holds their own against NPC/Group
  26
  a masked
  warband
  has NPC/Group held hostage nearby
  27
  a dysfunctional
  family
  fosters a grudge against NPC/Group
  28
  an industrious
  nanite swarm
  is correcting the problem
  29
  a teenage
  coven
  conducts a seance to contact their deceased leader
  30
  a drug-addled
  mariachi band
  is getting wasted at the tavern
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Fantastic, Horrific, and Post-Apocalyptic NPC  Generator by Matt Nicksic
  
  114
  114
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Myrmidons of the Moon
  By Scrap Princess
  toiletworldultra@gmail.com
  http://www.monstermanualsewnfrom-
  pants.blogspot.com
  Myrmidons are androgynous, flying fey bug-people that 
  live on the moon. They are pale or pastel hued, have 
  eyebrows that arch into antenna, prehensile claw-like 
  feet and 3 pairs of blade-like wings.
  Most of their industry is from the silk and chitin pro-
  duced by their larval and pupae growth stages.
  Their Nursewitches retard the development of a select 
  percentage of larvae to keep them producing silk lon-
  ger, and likewise with the pupae to keep it forming layer 
  upon layer of shell.
  All eggs are laid only by the queen, until she is succeed-
  ed by another egg laying Myrmidon, the birth of which 
  is an event which (so far) is beyond the control of the 
  sinister secretions of the Nursewitches. Lately though, 
  while Myrmidon princesses have been born, none have 
  been able to lay. 
  Thus the Myrmidon are indebted to the Necromancer, 
  whose magics extend the life of their queen. In exchange 
  for this, the Myrmidon pay a yearly tithe in captives or 
  Myrmidon. The Myrmidon greatly resent this and seek 
  to undermine the Necromancer when they can. Some 
  factions of the Myrmidon suspect the Necromancer has a 
  sinister hand in the current nonfecundity of their prin-
  cesses.
  Myrmidon chitin armour is an iridescent pearly colour 
  and is an excellent substitute for steel. Warriors are nor-
  mally equipped with hook tipped long rapier like swords 
  or ixwa type sword spears.
  The elite warriors equip themselves with blades made 
  from specially treated wings won off the back off anoth-
  er warrior in the annual tournament to determine who is 
  the Queen’s sire for the year. 
  Myrmidons are born as either non-egg laying androgen 
  gyrle* or a princess. Princesses are capable laying eggs 
  either asexually or with the input of a sire. A gyrle can 
  grow into a sire with the correct anointments from the 
  Nursewitches, and is capable of introducing their genetic 
  material to a princess or a queen via a processes known 
  as “doing it”. 
  Gyrle on Gyrle sex-for-pleasure is done psychically, with 
  entwined antennae and funny noises.
  The Nursewitches have managed to turn a Princess into 
  a sire but it was pretty scandalous at the time.
  Princesses that do not become queen will lose the ability 
  to lay eggs as long as they are within 100 kilometers of 
  the current queen. They normally join the Nursewitches 
  or become some kind of thrill seeking gadabout and are 
  the source of much talk and tutting.
  Sires form a semi-obnoxious warrior caste, but more 
  interested in dueling that conventional warfare. They do 
  not form the bulk of the army instead acting as special-
  ized units, of varying usefulness and talent.
  Each year a tournament is held to determine which sire 
  the queen will accept as her mate. Losers risk losing 
  their lives or their wings. The wings only grow back 
  with treatment from the Nursewitches and that will put 
  you in their debt.
  Nursewitches occasionally under take projects where 
  they shape a developing larvae into great forms of war, 
  artifice, architecture or transport. This is not done 
  regularly as it makes most Myrmidon uncomfortable, 
  even though Myrmidon are not seen as having any more 
  rights than a cabbage until emerging from the pupae.
  *original form of girl, mean a child of either sex, from 
  around 1300
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A race that would fit in nicely for an adventure to the 
  moon. The current inhabitants of the moon are Giant 
  albino gorillas who are controlled by a powerful necro-
  mantic vulture-wizard. Is the other race in league with 
  the necromancer? Are they aware of him? Do they hate 
  him? I don’t know.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
   
  J.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Myrmidons of the Moon By Scrap Princess
  
  115
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Myrmidons of the Moon By Scrap Princess
  
  116
  116
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  A Personalities 
  Chart for NPCs
  by Vincent Quigley
  vtquigley@gmail.com
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A list of personalities for “normal” NPCs.  Like, the PCs walk into a shop, and want 
  to talk to the sales assistant. This isn’t someone who is secretly an necromancer, or 
  thirsts for revenge against their parents killer. They’re just a “normal” person - but 
  I’d like them to still be interesting. “Normal” motivations and quirks are great, 
  such as stuttering, or striving for a promotion, or really loves to get high on the 
  weekends, or whatever.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  T. D.
  In order to create a complete NPC, take all the dice and roll them. As a variable you can roll only the dice required 
  to flesh out an already existing NPC. Of course feel free to substitute any results that doesn’t fit your concept by one 
  of your own design. 
  Sex
  Race
  Social 
  Class
  Physical Traits
  Quirks*
  Disposition
  Motivations/Plot 
  hook “Wants to” §
  D2
  D4
  D6
  D8
  D10
  D12
  D20
  1
  Male
  Human
  Slave
   Has no teeth
   Tells jokes
  Narrow-mind-
  ed
  locate a thing
  2
  Female
  Elf
  Poor
   Heavily tattooed/
  pierced
  Wears few 
  clothes
   Cynical
  rise in rank/social 
  standing
  3
  Dwarf
  Craftsman
  Foul smelling
  Cracks knuckles
   Inquisitive
  help a family member
  4
  Halfling
  Bourgeois
   Bald
  Talks very fast
  Kind
  find true love
  5
  Rich
  Gorgeously out of 
  place
  Gets peoples' 
  names wrong
   Innocent
  follow orders
  6
  Noble
  Very tall/fat/ or 
  both
  Refers to self by 
  own name
  Intellectual
  keep a secret
  7
   Has a gold tooth
   Constantly turns 
  head as if listen-
  ing to things
   Scheming
  show kindness
  8
  Very deep, bass 
  voice
  Refuses to use 
  magic
  Jealous
  not screw it all up
  9
  Older than ap-
  pears
   Obsessively 
  Cheerful
  uncover the truth 
  10
  Speaks in meta-
  phor
  Proud
  become someone else
  11
  Level-headed
  be fly on the wall
  12
  Hot-tempered
  overcome an obstacle
  13
  reclaim what was 
  taken from them
  14
  live a quiet life/not be 
  bothered
  15
  help or hinder
  16
  steal something valu-
  able
  17
  convince you to do 
  his/her dirty work
  18
  prove his point
  19
  get by just one more 
  day
  20
  prosper
  * I went for big broad ‘’cliché’’ quirks that will help the NPC be memorable. GMs, bold acting is the key here. I 
  assure you that even if you think you are going overboard with the bad acting, it’s those bold NPCs your players will 
  remember and talk about for eons to come. 
  § for a more complex motivation roll 2d20 and combine both results.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  A Personalities  Chart for NPCs by Vincent Quigley
  
  117
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Thetans / Mechabeast 
  Cyber Safari
  by Chris Tamm
  konsumterra@gmail.com
  http://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com.au/
  This is my secret santicore entry. Request was to make 
  monsters for RPG in a Afrocentric gonzo science fanta-
  sy setting where funk is the great power in the universe. 
  I’m trying to just exploit 70s fashion and pop music and 
  am honestly not trying to be racist. I guess many games 
  and SF and Fantasy products can be dodgy. I hope 
  Im not but I am just a dumb honkey cracker male and 
  cant help but exploit all I gaze on. I have been hassled 
  by anti Asians all my life even though Im Welsh-Es-
  tonian-Australian so i learned to throw rocks at racists 
  on my first day at school. Anyway Afro-gonzo future 
  freaky monsters here we come. I apologize to Scientol-
  ogy fanboys whose faith I have mocked here (nah not 
  really).
  Thetans
  Thetans are a race of humanoids from a primordial 
  intergalactic federation founded through peace, wisdom 
  and use of mysterious power called funk. Resembling 
  African descent humans but with two large toes with 
  large nails and they avoid exposing their sensitive eyes. 
  In the early years of the universe their great, kindly and 
  wise Emperor Xenu sent harmonic funk vibes through 
  the universe and guided evolution throughout the 
  universe. A sect of power mad radicals broke the cosmic 
  peace and developed negative antifunk powers that 
  shrivelled the souls of innocents. The broke the peace 
  of Xenu, escaped and developed albino clones to spread 
  chaos everywhere let by the evil Elron.
   
   
       Some Thetans have come to earth to  
                                 help guide its troubled funk and some         
                                 thetans voted to Earth demolished. 
                                 Dedicated Thetan heroes have come 
                                 to earth through history to save it 
                                 from Elron’s taint. Thetans use their 
                                 powers to appear as other creatures 
                                 or giants which sometimes suits 
                                 their purpose to be thought of a 
   
                    monster rather than a Thetan alien.
                                 Thetan space groove-rider jumpsuits     
                                 are adorned with fabulous heraldry 
                                 and accessories humans mistake for 
                                 fashion. Thetans consider music the 
                                 universal artform and Earths 
                                 enlightened musicians where the 
                                 reason Earth was not destroyed. They 
                                 most often travel in flying saucers but  
                                 some don’t even need them.
  Evil Thetans and their Bright rebel Emperor Elron use 
  machines and their albino clone troops that are un-
  readable to thetan mental disciplines. Most were killed 
  during the fall of the old Empire but sent eminations 
  to infect other life forms when destroyed. Good Thetan 
  try best not to kill. Different orders have different 
  hairstyles but most have a halo of hair earthmen call 
  Afros. Cutting their hair temporarily removes their 
  powers and makes them very mad. Bald ones are order 
  of lawmakers.
  Mostly their attributes resemble humans with the 
  adition of 1d3 or 1d4 or 1d6 or more of these powers. 
  Healing is replaced by vampirism for evil Thetans.
  1d20 Thetan Powers
  1
  Read 
  Mind
  read surface thoughts of all in sight
  2
  Tounges
  speak any language any living being
  3
  Telepathy
  communicate without speech any 
  living being
  4
  Telikine-
  sis
  typically 50 kilos in sight can slowly 
  levitate other things
  5
  Leveta-
  tion
  can float and slowly ascend or de-
  scend at walking speed
  6
  Flight
  at running speed but cannot hover or 
  go slower
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  Monsters suitable for an Afro-futurist/Funk setting. These 
  can be system neutral. Either in a list with attributes and 
  abilities, a table to make new combinations or both would be 
  greatly appreciated.
  If you want further info let me know as this is, admittedly, 
  kind of vague.
  Thanks,  
   
   
   
  J. K.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Thetans / Mechabeast  Cyber Safari by Chris Tamm
  
  118
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  7
  Sight
  can remote view up to 100meters 
  some can view other planets or 
  galaxies
  8
  Shrink
  to 2.5cm/1Inch, some shrink 
  through atoms to other universes 
  9
  Giant
  typically up to 6m/20f, some are 
  titanic
  10
  Teleport
  in sight range
  11
  Hold 
  Mind
  can induce temporary paralysis on 
  sight but victims may resist
  12
  Shape-
  shifting
  can adopt animal attacks (d6/d6/d8), 
  dont change size or mass
  13
  Impervi-
  ous
  has extraordinary resilience, un-
  harmed by most melee and less than 
  heavy pistols
  14
  Anatom-
  ical 
  separation
  can remove and reattach body parts, 
  leave eye as a spy
  15
  Regenera-
  tion
  recover 1hp per round
  16
  Psychom-
  etry
  can read history of dramatic events 
  left in objects and places
  17
  Precogni-
  tion
  never surprised, know what coming 
  minutes away, masters have greater 
  range
  18
  Astral 
  Travel
  spirit leaves body and can dimly per-
  ceive word, walk speed global range
  19
  Living 
  Weapon
   superior martial arts, extra attacks 
  or can shatter wood and steel if focus
  20
  Healing 
  (Vampir-
  ism) 
  can give HP to others (drain others 
  HP to heal self 1hp/round)
  d12 Base Colours Thetan Jumpuits 
  1
  Crimson (red, brick, maroon)
  2
  Magenta (rose, pink)
  3
  Cyan (sky, light blue)
  4
  Turquoise (sea, turquoise, aquamarine)
  5
  Yellow (gold)
  6
  Tangerine (orange, bronze)
  7
  Emerald (olive, forest)
  8
  Green (lime, light green)
  9
  Violet (Indigo, purple, lavender)
  10
  Lapis (dark blue, midnight, navy)
  11
  Ivory (bone, pearl, shell, silver) or roll 1d10 twice
  12
  Jet (grey, steel) or roll 1d10 1d4+1 times
  d12 Pattern and texture (1d6 times)
  1
  Polkadot +1 colour
  2
  Stripe +1 colour
  3
  Animal spots +1 colour
  4
  Animal stripes +1 colour
  5
  Shiny metallic chrome 
  6
  Metallic studded 
  7
  Stars +1 colour
  8
  Triangles +1 colour
  9
  Leather
  10
  Hologram
  11
  Moving Images
  12
  Chains on leather
  All Thetans have 1d3 of these
  All have basic sunglasses
  d12 Awesome Accessories
  (only work for Thetans)
  1
  Superior 
  Shades
  HUD display access to encyclopedia 
  of data, sense energy fields
  2
  Boom Box
  from pocket with headphones to 
  huge models. Play music and make 
  sonic stun or damaging attacks. Big 
  shoulder carried ones are area of 
  effect and longer range.
  3
  Power 
  Chain
  against restraint and violence but 
  that’s what its for, often belt, jewel-
  lery or part of costume, amplifies 
  unarmed damage or living weap-
  on power, bigger the chain more 
  power, some gold others (many evil 
  Thetans) prefer just brutal or weap-
  on like nunchucks, three piece rod
  4
  Liquid 
  hologram 
  aerosol
  makes 2d illusions, camouflage or 
  instant monitor
  5
  Musical 
  Instrument
  some have additional powers
  6
  Boots
  walk up and clings at will to any 
  surface
  7
  Gloves
  increase strength to beyond human, 
  amours hands
  8
  Cape
  always fall gently without harm turn 
  off at will mostly on auto
  9
  Belt
  contains power supply, lights, micro 
  drone bombs, message missile, mono 
  filament spinneret, recreational 
  pills, monofilament atomic match 
  (cutting, welding, fire starting tool) 
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Thetans / Mechabeast  Cyber Safari by Chris Tamm
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  10
  Hat
  Shields from mental attacks, detec-
  tion or mind reading
  11
  Power 
  Rings
  various powers, some have many or 
  several fused into a knuckleduster 
  with sigils
  12
  Micro 
  saucer
  with AI friend, hides in subspace till 
  summoned, one person only
  Mechabeast Cyber Safari
  This is a ecology of teraforming von numan machines 
  and nanoids gone wrong. Covers area size of a state and 
  nuking them only encouraged it to mutate faster. Giv-
  ing it garbage has slowed its growth, but it sends rockets 
  to space occasionally. Metallic paved wasteland with 
  jungles of solar collector and wind farm trees. Canyons 
  of empty apartments and skyscrapers with pipelines of 
  fuel, gas and lubricant attract many species of mecha 
  beast. Mad made scavengers has developed ecology of 
  scavenging grazers that process waste into useful mate-
  rials to build their young. Predators attack the pipeline 
  and garbage feeders, too lazy to produce own materials. 
  They cannibalize other mecha beast, draining their 
  coolants , lubricants and fuel first then strip parts 
  for building their young. Mecha animal ecology and 
  species comparable to aftica ungle and savanna. Some 
  savage humans live among them trying to grow food or 
  are cannibals. Tribes of robot ape hunter warriors hunt 
  larger migrating beasts. 
   
  A version on Venus has stubby dinosaur like ecology 
  and the ones on mars more elegant and sculpted. These 
  versions have since appeared on earth.
  d8 Size (Tech hardpoints)
  1
  Bug or mouse sized (0)
  2
  Cat, rabbit or small dog sized (1)
  3
  Large to medium dog or deer size (1)
  4
  Man sized medium (2)
  5
  Large horse, bear or cow (3)
  6
  Hippo, elephant or rhino (4)
  7
  Sauropod dinosaur (6)
  8
  Blue Whale or Kaiju (12)
  d20 Herbivore Powers
  1
  Long range radar
  2
  Stealth fields and casing
  3
  Chaff dispenser anti radar or laser or missile
  4
  Caltrop dropper 
  5
  Mine dropper
  6
  Oil Slick
  7
  Burning oil slick
  8
  Corrosive Cloud
  9
  Explosive Backblast
  10
  Horns
  11
  Weapon Tail
  12
  Telescopic neck or legs
  13
  Sonar and ultrahearing
  14
  Sub audio communications
  15
  Spiked skin
  16
  EMP suicide bomb
  17
  Micropile suicide bomb
  18
  Chameleon skin
  19
  Long range rocket launchers
  20
  Flechette grenades on hull
  d12 Herbivore Types with power total slots
  1
  Swimmer amphibian or faster if dedicated (hippo, 
  fish, seacow, whale)
  2
  Bipedal or wheeled herd runner (deer, kangaroo)
  3
  Fast quadruped or wheeled herd runner (deer, 
  kangaroo)
  4
  Burrowing for natural resources or parts (mole, 
  armadillo)
  5
  Plodding Grazer/recyclers (cow, sauropod)
  6
  Variable grazer (bear or ape)
  7
  Baloon Floater taps pipelines (jellyfish)
  8
  Winged grazer (seed eating birds)
  9
  Triphibian grazer can fly swim and run (wetland 
  birds)
  10
  Sloth or koala like climbing grazer 
  11
  Filter feeder - sucks up nanites or cyberbugs 
  12
  Crawler with tank tracks, possibly articulated 
  d20 Carnivore Powers
  Most come with power jaws and claws
  1
  Long range radar
  2
  Stealth fields and casing
  3
  Laser range finder and spectrograph to scan 
  exhaust fumes and target
  4
  Minigun for attacks or anti missile defence 
  5
  Laser for attacks or anti missile defence 
  6
  Micro-missile pod for short range large area
  7
  Flamer
  8
  Chainsaw or drill limb or tail
  9
  Net or bola gun
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Thetans / Mechabeast  Cyber Safari by Chris Tamm
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  10
  Horns
  11
  Cannon slow but hard hitting and good range
  12
  Transform to second type flyer or swimmer or 
  disguise herbivore 
  13
  Sonar and ultrahearing
  14
  EMP cyber stunner 
  15
  Spiked skin
  16
  Hypodermic probe for parasitic stealing systems 
  fluids 
  17
  Magnetic harpoon gun with line 
  18
  Holographic field for disguise
  19
  Magnetic clams to hang onto prey
  20
  Afterburner rocket for speed boost or leaps
  d12 Carnivore Types with power total slots
  1
  Stalker runner (cheetah)
  2
  Stealth ambush (Tiger or panther)
  3
  Scavenger (hyena)
  4
  Burrowing ambush (badger, trapdoor spider)
  5
  Parasitic 
  6
  Flying scavenger (vulture)
  7
  Flying hunter (eagle, owl)
  8
  Pack team or swarm (lions, wolves)
  9
  Amphibian, faster if dedicated to water (dolphin, 
  crock, shark)
  10
  Crawler (snake)
  11
  Triphibian (sea eagle, heron)
  12
  Tribal hunter gatherers (homnid apes)
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  Thetans / Mechabeast  Cyber Safari by Chris Tamm
  
  121
  121
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  A D20 Table of Sentient 
  Ship Motivations
  by Forrest Hudspeth
  fhudspeth@gmail.com
  1
  Expanding Itself to Become Vast
  2
  Leaving the Stars Behind
  3
  Serving a Beloved Passenger or Crew
  4
  Exploring the Unknown Parts of the Universe
  5
  Protecting Something Believed Destroyed
  6
  Seeing the Destruction of a Rival Starship
  7
  The Creation of Offsping
  8
  Gathering Power and Wealth
  9
  Remembering a Forgotten Origin
  10
  Seeding Dead Worlds With Life
  11
  Gaining Independance from All
  12
  Spreading Knowledge for Knowledge’s Sake
  13
  Preventing a Terrible Cataclysm
  14
  Finding a Companion Starship
  15
  Pursuit of Novel Experiences to Avoid Boredom
  16
  Fear of Obsolescence
  17
  Avoiding an Threatened Viral Lobotomy
  18
  Attaining a State of Transcendence
  19
  Finding Refuge from a Powerful Enemy
  20
  Fomenting a Great Revolution
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A d20 table of sentient starship motivations.
  Thanks,  
   
   
  D. W.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  NPCs 
  A D20 Table of Sentient Ship Motivations by Forrest Hudspeth
  
  122
  122
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Town of Secrets 
  by Lee Barber
  lbarbrpg@gmail.com
  http://xolgmod.blogspot.com/
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A town with terrible secrets, displayed entirely in 
  picture form.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  J. M.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  PLACES 
  Town of Secrets  by Lee Barber
  
  123
  123
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Palace of the Child Queen
  by Scrap Princess
  toiletworldultra@gmail.com
  http://www.monstermanualsewnfrom-
  pants.blogspot.com
  The Palace is made from a pearly shell that lets light 
  through its walls, more so in certain areas (windows). It 
  drifts about the domains of the Serene One as her whims 
  dictate. It has four towers, each dedicated to a different 
  purpose.
  The Tower of Joy is where guests are welcomed, balls are 
  had and feasts occur.
  The Tower of Justice is where the ant-like guards have 
  their barracks, and where prisoners are kept.
  The Tower of Passings contains the library, records, and 
  where scribes complete paperwork. Also features a chap-
  el to the ancestors, and servants’ quarters at the base.
  The Tower of Life contains the workshops for repairs 
  and maintenance;crops are grown here, and in the upper 
  room, waste is artfully rotted with fungus, otyugh, 
  worms, and skilled attendance from the rot-keeper. Nu-
  trient-rich fluids drip down in the garden below it.
  Each tower has both a main staircase and a smaller 
  secondary servants’ staircase, often tucked behind ornate 
  drapery. The centre of the palace is a lake, capped with 
  a thick floating layer of mildly acidic goo; underneath 
  is the water supply to the palace, which is added to by 
  use of magic siphon tube , curled underneath the palace 
  when not in use.
  The Serene One is most often in the Inner Palace, which 
  dangles in the center, suspended by near-invisible glass 
  bridges. Visitors to the Serene One must have faith in her 
  to set foot on such a flimsy-looking path.
  From the inner sanctum she monitors her domain 
  through a great glass orb of smoke and visions. 
  (See Illustration next page)
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  a description and map of the royal palace of the 
  Child Queen.
  Thanks, 
   
   
  J. P.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  PLACES 
  Palace of the Child Queen by Scrap Princess
  
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  124
  124
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  PLACES 
  Palace of the Child Queen by Scrap Princess
  
  125
  125
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Vatria’s Retreat
  By Andrew Shields
  kaprou@hotmail.com
  http://fictivefantasies.wordpress.com/
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A small site based wizard’s tower adventure module 
  filled with tricks and sorcerous perils.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  B. S.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  PLACES 
  Vatria’s Retreat By Andrew Shields
  
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  126
  126
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  PLACES 
  Vatria’s Retreat By Andrew Shields
  
  127
  127
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
   Historical Event Generator
  By M. Diaz
  http://gloomtrain.blogspot.com/
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A table to determine the history of a place, not too 
  detailed but with the possibility to create a short 
  timeline, maybe. Not exact dates, but more like “first, 
  and then, a few centuries later...” Or something in this 
  vibe. Thanks, 
   
   
   
  A. S.
  In the stories of our ancestors In our histories
  In the memory of our parents
  1
  A sorcerer awakened a mon-
  ster from its epochal slum-
  ber.
  A wizard constructed a tower 
  as their sanctuary.
  A horde of howling cyno-
  cephali ousted the previous 
  tenants.
  2
  A divinity met its end, its 
  blood staining stone and soil
  A noble built extensive and 
  elegant gardens.
  A petty demon noble claimed 
  this place as their own.
  3
  A mighty demon erupted into 
  this place from its prison in 
  the netherworld.
  A monarch or chieftain raised 
  barrow to contain the ma-
  lign spirit of their tyrannical 
  predecessor.
  An assassin murdered this 
  place’s master and turned it 
  into their headquarters.
  4
  A wicked fairy cursed the 
  earth itself.
  A band of refugees founded a 
  village.
  A band of thieves found this 
  place unattended and set up 
  shop.
  5
  A meteorite tumbled from the 
  heavens, bathing this place 
  in strange radiations.
  An exiled army built a stone 
  fort.
  A council of druids bound an 
  evil spirit here, not knowing 
  this place’s history.
  6
  Two vast armies annihilated 
  each other in a weeks-long 
  and bloody battle.
  A wealthy scholar construct-
  ed a massive orrery.
  A group of missionaries 
  pledged to convert or kill ev-
  erything and everyone living 
  here.
  7
  A legendary smith forged an 
  artifact of great and inscru-
  table power.
  A cabal raised a temple in the 
  name of a demon.
  A wizard decided to turn this 
  place into a school.
  8
  A god claimed this place as 
  their own.
  A prospector found traces of 
  valuable mineral and dug a 
  mine.
  A collective of poets decided 
  to make this place their re-
  treat.
  9
  An extraplanar inferno 
  burned everything down to 
  the bedrock.
  An archmage raised a laby-
  rinth.
  A baron discovered that they 
  possessed the long-lost deed 
  to this place.
  10 A cult conducted a ritual of 
  human sacrifice on a scale 
  inconceivable to the minds of 
  today.
  A priest built a cemetery to 
  house the restless dead.
  Roll twice
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  PLACES 
   Historical Event Generator By M. Diaz
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Background 
  !
  The old king has ruled over his demesne for the past 
  several hundred years. Even his two sons and one 
  daughter are old and grey — and similarly undying. Some 
  common folk believe that the king is a vampire, or a 
  wicked sorcerer. The official line is that the gods keep the 
  king alive to protect the realm.
  Castle
  Stronghold 
  of the Old King
  By Brendan S.
  http://www.necropraxis.com/
  Dear Santicore...
  I would like a totally awesome castle/fortress floor-
  plan/map.  It doesn’t have to be huge nor does it have 
  to be historically accurate, but I would prefer it being 
  more low-fantasy.  Examples of what I’m looking for 
  would be stuff from the Thief series, Warhammer Fan-
  tasy, and historical Norman-style fortress designs.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  K. S.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  PLACES 
  Stronghold  of the Old King By Brendan S.
  
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  129
  129
  Stronghold of the Old King
  Dungeon
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  PLACES 
  Stronghold  of the Old King By Brendan S.
  
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  130
  130
  Stronghold of the Old King
  There are many ways to use these maps, either as a generic castle, or as an adventuring site as I sketch out below. 
  !
  The secret to the longevity of the old king and his spawn can be found in one of the two buried tombs in the 
  dungeons beneath the castle (areas 21 - 25 and areas 34 - 36). The king (or one of his minions) likely discovered 
  this dark power originally via the underground river, and then built the upper levels of his dungeons to connect 
  with the caverns. 
  !
  The upper dungeons, with the exception of room 16 (which may, in fact, be located much deeper than it seems 
  on the map, since there are no direct connections), are of newer construction than the buried tombs (areas 21 - 25 
  and areas 34 - 36). 
  !
  There is a pit trap in the entrance to the keep (on the second level), which opens into a cell in castle area 13. Any 
  PCs trapped here will have some explaining to do. 
  !
  There are three ways of approach if entering the upper levels of the dungeon below the castle after emerging 
  from the trap door. Through the corridor in area 9, through room 2, and through room 8. Rooms 2 and 8 are 
  heavily trapped, and the kings minions use corridor 9 and the secret doors near area 10 to access the dungeon 
  safely. 
  !
  Areas 15, 16, and 24 have magic circles that are linked. A spell is inscribed in the stone which can be invoked 
  like a scroll that does not vanish when used (read magic or similar ability is required). This spell will transport 
  the magic-user (and any companions, if desired) to one of the other two linked rooms (determine randomly). 
  Room 16 and 24 are old stonework, while room 15 is new and has been created by the old king. 
  !
  The natural cavern area 19 is probably the lair of some predator, and will not be detectable by adventurers that 
  walk down the nearby corridor (some clue about the natural ceiling receding into darkness above in that area is 
  probably reasonable). 
  !
  The pools in rooms 18 and 31 connect via submerged natural tunnels, and these tunnels can also be used to 
  reach area 29 which is part of the three-tiered cavern complex making up areas 27 - 30. 
  !
  In addition to infiltration or frontal assault, the deep caverns can be accessed by an underground river that 
  emerges in the hills near the fortress. Common folk have likely seen shrouded figures around this river and the 
  caves nearby. 
  !
  — !
  Font used: Fanwood, https://www.theleagueofmoveabletype.com/fanwood
  Page   of  
  3
  3
  http://www.necropraxis.com/
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  Stronghold  of the Old King By Brendan S.
  
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  The Iridescent Ballroom of 
  Lost Shagruth
  by Anonymous
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  One room for The Sunken Spire, a long-abandoned wiz-
  ard’s tower that lies beneath the waves.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  B. L.
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  The Giant’s Boot - 
  An Opera House
  by Harald Wagener
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  …a map of an unusual theater, opera house, or other 
  entertainment venue.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  J. D.
  The Giant's Boot was built on the sound properties of the internals of Cloud Giants' jackboots. This was
  proposed by a halfling named Mykel Ringbell Glockenspleen, although it's not clear how he acquired
  this knowledge.
  Fixed Staff
  Mykel Ringbell Glockenspleen founded the opera house 12 years ago, and added the stables, artist
  annex and composer's tower shortly after the original boot was installed. The stairs along the boot's
  outside leading to the tower's entry are roughly of halfling height. It is believed Glockenspleen did this
  to keep away his family (he is short for a halfling but insists he is not a cursed composer under the
  effect of a diminution spell, often unprompted).
  Konrad van Pelz is the musical director. He tries to follow local fads and fashions in entertainment, but
  his complete lack of personal musical talent or appreciation means usually something random will be
  performed on stage. Rumor has it he won his position from Glockenspleen through a bet or honor
  debt, because there is no other way Glockenspleen would have kept van Pelz around for so long. van
  Pelz' biggest success so far was THREE WOLF MOON which ran for an unprecedented six days before
  neighbors to the opera house complained about the incessant howling and unibrow-sporting
  audience by way of hired gangs. Since then there are "weekly" shows which run about 1d4 days, with
  the rest of the week being spent cleaning up and finding  a new act.
  Jean Vert Villieux is the conductor and a syphillitic Elf (level2). Jokes about his baton are inappropriate,
  but come up ever so often.
  Barry "White" Thimblefoot is a black halfling (Tunnels&Trolls style) and is the "star" bariton of the
  Giant's Boot. He sticks around because the often changing nature of the acts keeps him entertained.
  The Orphan's Choir is a rag-tag band of 18+2d6 level 0 thieves. Some of them actually can sing pretty
  well.
  The Cool Brass Combo is a group of four ice elves currently looking for a saxophonists (non-ice elves
  need not apply).
  Type of play on stage
  1.
  Classic Epos. 2D4 parts of 1D10 hours each. As above, most of these are rarely shown in full.
  2.
  Political Satire. Rarely runs for more than 2 days, and then only because it's bad.
  3.
  Religious Holiday Performance. Often grounds for riots (by believers and unbelievers alike).
  4.
  Whimsical crap no-one cares about. Were it not for the absence of paying audience, these had
  a chance of running for weeks.
  5.
  Experimental composition:
  instead of normal instruments, consult the table (roll d6 for both first and last column):
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  PLACES 
  The Giant’s Boot -  An Opera House by Harald Wagener
  
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  133
  133
  1. Monsters
  used for
  1. Instruments
  2. Goats
  used for
  2. Percussion
  3. Entrails
  used for
  3. Voice
  4. Vegetables
  used for
  4. Stage
  5. Craft tools
  used for
  5. Costumes
  6. Deadly Weapons
  used for
  6. Props
  6.
  Combine 1-4 with a result of 5.
  Maps
  These maps are crude drawings which depict the actual artistic capabilities of yours truly. Apologies, I
  tried to make up with the other stuff.
  Sideview (internal)
  From left to right: Auditorium, box seats with stairs, orchestra pit, stage with light rig atop and labyrinth
  below (accessible via trap door to stage), back stage with scenery
  Where does this door lead to?
  1.
  Sewers with 1. rats 2. ghouls 3. cultists 4. orphans 5. a secret passage 6. an ancient basin fileld
  with fecal matter
  2.
  Labyrinth under the stage
  3.
  performers' changing room
  4.
  main stage
  5.
  magazine containing 1. costumes 2. props 3. instruments 4. scenery 5. remains from the last
  experimental performance 6. 1d3 off-duty artists in the throes of passion
  6.
  coat rooms (1-5 guarded by level 0 serf, 6 unguarded)
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  Sideview (external)
  The orchestra exterior sports a blackened steel cap, grey granite soles, holes above the soles doubling
  as entrance and exit, stairs leading to the external entrance to the composer's tower, stables topped by
  artist's annex. Not pictured are the magazines and coat rooms, which are under the auditorium.
  What's in the stable?
  1.
  1d6 goats (reduce by 1d6 if entrails currently used in performance)
  2.
  1d6 donkeys
  3.
  1d4 old horses
  4.
  1d3 props of giant animals (made from papier mache)
  5.
  A basket with 1d10 snakes (10% chance poisonous)
  6.
  "Exotic animal" (i.e., a monster of 1d8 hit dice). 5% chance per hit die it'll break lose during a
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  135
  135
  performance, modify by +/-20% for intelligent monsters depending on their artistic aspirations
  Sideview (composer's tower)
  Level 5: Bedroom
  Level 4: Work area and
  Library
  Level 3: Kitchen
  Level 2: Reception area and
  Fumoir
  Level 1: Storage
  Level 0: Unspeakable things
  Level -1: Rigging
  Level -2: Rigging
  Level -3: Light Rig (see
  internal map)
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  The City on the Cliff
  by Anonymous
  Petrel’s Rest and Trust-No-Dream are two differ-
  ent cities occupying the same geographical location, 
  built atop a series of ledges and bridges on a steep cliff 
  overlooking Greywater Bay at the mouth of the Drivers 
  River. Petrel’s Rest is a small city specializing in intri-
  cate glasswork, grey ships with heron figureheads, and 
  hallucinogenic fish. The inhabitants consume vast quan-
  tities of dreamfish similar to the sarpa salpa recreation-
  ally eaten by the historic Romans for its long-lasting 
  hallucinogenic effects. Their shared hallucinations form 
  Trust-No-Dream, the second city, which shares the same 
  geography but stranger resources. The cities are plagued 
  by ghost-bridges, relics of a long ago war. 
  Eating Dreamfish: No dreamfish is served at the 
  High End, where inns and shops for traders are located, 
  but if the PCs eat any food elsewhere in the city, it will 
  contain dreamfish. Any member of a mammalian species 
  who fails a saving throw vs. poison will begin to perceive 
  Trust-No-Dream instead of Petrel’s Rest starting 1d4x10 
  minutes later, lasting 1d4 days. 
  Kenning: Trust-No-Dream’s hallucinatory appearance 
  can be altered with intense concentration, a process the 
  inhabitants call “kenning.” The appearance of the city 
  varies from district to district depending on which cabal 
  is in control of the area. Any character may add or alter 
  a visual element to the shared hallucination with a suc-
  cessful Charisma check. Multiple people may duel to ken 
  something, the highest successful Charisma check wins.
  Trust-No-Dream is an effect of chemistry, not magic. It 
  cannot be dispelled. However, magic-using characters 
  can use spells, items, bardic music, or other illusions to 
  automatically win kenning contests.
  Visitors usually stay at the High End. Below the High 
  End, few buildings in Petrel’s Rest have any labeling or 
  decoration visible to those who have not eaten dreamfish, 
  but the same buildings are brightly colored and well 
  marked in Trust-No-Dream
  The Cabals: Trust-No-Dream is ruled by the Imag-
  inary Proconsul, who is an inanimate chalk statue in 
  Petrel’s Rest, but sits in judgement (and rules in favor of 
  whoever kens more strongly) in Trust-No-Dream. In ad-
  dition to fighting for control of the Proconsul, the cabals 
  attempt to take territory from each other by kenning the 
  appearance of the city. The Imaginary Proconsul is one 
  of several completely nonexistant occupants of Trust-
  No-Dream; they continue to exist only because everyone 
  expects them to. Violence has not yet broken out between 
  the cabals, but it is only a matter of time, especially with 
  PCs around.
  The Fisher Kings are the fishing guild and the 
  most powerful cabal. Their stronghold is The Docks. 
  They control the supply of dream fish, the hallucinato-
  ry purple beacons necessary to guide ships around the 
  shoals of Greywater Bay safely, and the secret sea caves 
  the dead of Petrel’s Rest and their riches are interred in. 
  The Fisher Kings appear in Trust-No-Dream as tall, 
  muscular humanoids wearing green scaled cloaks and 
  carrying menacing unlit silver lanterns; in Petrel’s Rest 
  they are tough fishermen with green aprons. Areas of 
  Trust-No-Dream they control are weathered and mossy, 
  with ancient stone carvings worn almost to nothingness. 
  It is rumored they use dreamfish to communicate and 
  trade with Greywater Bay’s crabmen.
  The Serene are an assassination cult based at the 
  House of the Far Shore, mostly uninvolved in cabal 
  politics. The Serene accept murder-for-hire commis-
  sions and fulfill them with zealous devotion, but only 
  kill those experiencing a profound moment of peace and 
  enlightenment. If their target is not at peace, the serenic 
  will spend months or years helping them achieve their 
  goals so that they may kill someone at peace as a proper 
  sacrifice. They are very open about this.
  The Serene also help pilgrims come to peace with their 
  future deaths by kenning frighteningly realistic simula-
  tions. Those who experience such a simulation may, one 
  time only, add or subtract 10% to a roll made when they 
  are in danger of that precise death (drowning, burning, 
  falling, etc). This bonus represents a sense of calm and 
  clear thinking from having had the experience of this 
  death before. Only one bonus applies at a time, if a PC 
  experiences a new death-dream at the House of the Far 
  Shore, they cannot apply the previous bonus.
  Areas of Trust-No-Dream under Serene control are dec-
  orated in hammered bronze and carved ammonite shells. 
  The Serene themselves appear as lion-headed humans 
  with their eyes and mouths sewn shut with blue thread. 
  In Petrel’s Rest they are unassuming humanoids in hood-
  ed grey robes and blue belts.
  The Wave Eaters are the boat-building guild, and 
  their goal is to wrest control of the Greywater Bay, espe-
  cially the beacons, from the Fisher Kings. At Heronjack 
  they build the fast, maneuverable, shallow-keeled boats 
  necessary to navigate the treacherous Greywater and 
  carve their seabird figureheads. They are keepers of the 
  Narwhal Map, where can be seen kenned images of all 
  the seascapes seen by all who pass through Heronjack. 
  They are collecting strange bone-and-silver machines 
  recovered from the bottom of the bay. It is rumored that 
  some of the Wave Eaters eat the ashes of the elf-cypress 
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  I’d like help with a city! The only thing definite about said city is its geography. it is 
  built on the east bank of the Drivers River. It has a huge temperate forest on the op-
  posite side of the river where Eladrin rule. To the east a smaller forest called the 
  Mountsfear that leads into the highlands that eventually become the Nightreach 
  mountains, home to all sorts of brigands and savages. It is north of Greywater bay on 
  the southwestern shore of a fairly warm continent. There isnt a grand ruler of the 
  entire continent its mostly just city states doing their own thing. I’d appreciate any 
  help you can give me Santicore. 
   
   
   
  P.
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  until patches of smooth bark grow on their chests, and 
  that they sneak across the Drivers River and join the 
  Eladrin at their revels. In Petrel’s Rest, the Wave Eaters 
  wear leather tool belts and quilted russet work smocks 
  and sew bells into their hair. In Trust-No-Dream they 
  have golden eyes and the voices of seabirds. Areas of 
  Trust-No-Dream under Wave Eater control are hung 
  with windchimes and garlands of knotted vine and scar-
  let lilies.
  The Glass Shapers are the smallest cabal by the num-
  bers, but they are a rich trade guild, and their goal is 
  mostly to keep the Wave Eaters and the Fisher Kings at 
  each other’s throats while they gather resources and out-
  side aid to stage a coup. Their base of operations is the 
  Sun Furnace, where a series of carefully calibrated lenses 
  focuses sunlight into a beam hot enough to melt glass. 
  The Glass Shapers find that precise kenning allows them 
  to decrease their sensitivity to the normal yellow glare 
  of glassworking and enhance their color sense, and their 
  glasswork is every bit as fine as dwarven. They hold 
  a library containing every document ever written by 
  someone currently in Trust-No-Dream and a cliff where 
  rejected glass art is ritually smashed. In the shimmering 
  glassy sands of the cliff, one may speak to one’s shadow. 
  Not a wise thing to do, but an interesting one.
  The Glass Shapers dress in fine clothes, but in Trust-No-
  Dream they wear crowns of flame. Areas under Glass-
  Shaper control are decorated with colorful glass lanterns 
  and mosiacs in Petrel’s Rest and Trust-No-Dream, but in 
  Trust-No-Dream the mosaics are animated.
  Things A Cabal Member will Pay The PCs 
  To Do And Not Get Caught
  1
  Destroy the statue of the Imaginary Proconsul
  2
  Describe, in excruciating detail, a fierce monster 
  they have recently fought (so she can ken up one of 
  her own and set it on her enemies)
  3
  Kidnap a troublesome member of an opposing 
  cabal and take them outside the city so they can be 
  replaced with a hallucinatory duplicate for a day 
  or two.
  4
  Steal dreamfish from a warehouse
  5
  Find the Burial Caves / Sabotage the Sun Furnace 
  / Catch ship-worms from the Isle of Ruin and 
  release them at Heronjack
  6
  Carry a message to the Northern Raiders offering 
  an alliance with one of the cabals
  Four Vengeful Bridges
  According to legend, long ago the Eladrin grew four 
  living bridges of cypress wood across the Drivers River 
  to Petrel’s Rest. Historians differ on whether the bridges 
  were burned to fend off an invasion or prevent a rescue. 
  Whatever the reason, four angry bridge-ghosts have 
  haunted the city for hundreds of years. Killing any of 
  the bridge ghosts brings a hefty reward from the city.
  Only one bridge-ghost is active at a time, usually Broth-
  er of Fog or Pearl Eater. Each bridge-ghost may be 
  destroyed by attacking the tiny splinter of corrupted 
  elf-cypress at the center of it (AC 0, 10 HP). The bridg-
  es cannot directly defend themselves, but they can use 
  their abilities to bridge space to connect themselves to 
  allies, as well as cause any missed attack to instead strike 
  anyone of their choosing.
  From the Eladrin side of the river or the Greywater far 
  below, on a rare clear day, the bridge-ghosts resemble 
  enormous wooden skeletal beasts, but within Petrel’s 
  Rest, they appear as ordinary bridges connecting any 
  two locations.
  1
  Pale Smoke This bridge-ghost will bridge the gap 
  between two people in the city as long as one of 
  them intends to kill the other. The survivor is 
  unable to leave the bridge afterwards, so two ram-
  shackle villages have formed atop the bridge-ghost, 
  Repentance and Victory. Those who live at Victory 
  will try defend the bridge from attackers.
  2
  Brother of Fog This bridge opens a path between 
  the cliff face high above the city and any fogbank 
  or storm it can find anywhere on the South Coast. 
  Accordingly, Petrel’s Rest and Trust-No-Dream 
  have terrible weather most of the time, preventing 
  them from being a major trade hub. Mother of 
  Fog will instead open a path to a small 4-HD air 
  elemental if attacked.
  3
  Pearl Eater Fairly harmless, this bridge disguis-
  es itself as one of the city’s ordinary bridges and 
  opens a path between any valuable item dropped 
  onto it and the charred ruins of the original bridge, 
  washed down the mouth of the Drivers, out to the 
  bottom of the Greywater. If attacked, it will at-
  tempt to buy off attackers with some of its treasure.
  4
  Looter’s walk This bridge helpfully connects any-
  one who would like to raid, burn, or loot Petrel’s 
  West with a conveniently hidden back alley inside 
  the city. It likes to open the way for raiders and 
  savages from the Nightreach Mountains to pillage 
  the city. If attacked, the bridge will open a path 
  to bandits who understand what a sweet deal they 
  have going and will fight to protect the bridge.
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  20 Interesting things to Buy or Steal at 
  Petrel’s Rest and Trust-No-Dream
  1
  Ossifrage vulture trained to steal hats and bring 
  them to its handler (to be sold back to original 
  owners)
  2
  Horse-bone and gold traveling crown, made from 
  favorite race horse of notoriously cruel aristocrat, 
  grabbed by ossifrage. Everyone too scared to ran-
  som it afterwards, happy to sell it to you cheap.
  3
  Glass vial of bioluminescent algae, shake vigorously 
  for 5 minutes bright blue light, recharges with a day 
  in sunlight
  4
  Bundle of twelve dried dreamfish tied with twine
  5
  Single-dose vial of Disinheritor poison, victim be-
  comes unable to remember own name, has no trou-
  ble remembering any newly chosen name instead
  6
  Glass lenses containing various scenes (can be cus-
  tomized) and special lantern to project them onto 
  any blank wall. 
  7
  Large (3’ diameter) glass-melting lens, surplus 
  from Sun Furnace, powerful but quite fragile
  8
  Very Large (10’ diameter) nautilus shell, the inside 
  of which is carved with the spells Smoke Walk and 
  Sea Friendship, player will have to figure out how 
  to read the text, owner won’t let you look without 
  buying.
  9
  Expensive cypress-wood incense pleasing to forest 
  spirits 
  10
  Folding boat, seats six, can be carried by a single 
  pack horse, takes an hour to set up 
  11
  Bottle of squid ink liquor, dyes tongue black for 
  weeks, amazing hangover (not in a good way)
  12
  Heavily corroded mechanism, unknown purpose, 
  bird bones and silver gears, found on bottom of bay  
  13
  Disturbingly realistic glass death-mask, requires 
  two days to get a custom one made
  14
  Purported map to ships sunk in the bay and their 
  treasures
  15
  Sharp glass knife, can cut someone open with no 
  loss of HP if desired, 50% chance of breaking if 
  used in combat 
  16
  Armor made of crab-man carapace: as scale armor, 
  but lighter and much stinkier. You can’t surprise 
  anyone due to the stench. Also enrages crab-men 
  and their allies beyond all reason.
  17
  Pigment grenades: glass balls full of dye that will 
  turn whatever they hit bright red for weeks.
  18
  Ammonite-carved bracelet indicating one of the 
  Serene has been tasked with your peaceful death 
  19
  Narwhale horn, said to be an antidote to poisons
  20
  Fermented fish sauce. Mm! 
  New Spells
  These second-level spells are fairly underpowered, but 
  sneaky PCs may find a use for them.
  Smoke Walk
  For one round per caster level, smoke becomes semi-solid 
  to the target, who will be able to climb up a column of 
  smoke or walk atop a plume. Strong winds that break up 
  the smoke will send the target falling to the ground. A 
  target inside smoke at the time of casting will be slowed 
  as the spell until moving outside the thick, jelly-like 
  smoke.
  Sea Friendship
  At the start of this spell, up to seven people may gather 
  beside a body of water and touch their tongues to the 
  water. For one day per caster level, any member of the 
  original group who is within ten feet of the water may 
  speak to it and be heard by any companions also current-
  ly within ten feet of the water, even if they are on the 
  opposite shore or a long way upstream or downstream. 
  The messages transmitted through the water sound like 
  ordinary waves or splashes to all other listeners.
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  Citadel of Crypts
  by Joshua Macy
  joshua.macy@gmail.com
  http://talesoftheramblingbumblers.word-
  press.com/
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A map of the Citadel of Crypts, located on a cliff top 
  looming over an ancient forest. It doesn’t need to be 
  system specific but ideas of the type of mischief that a 
  mage, a lycanthrope and a shield maiden could get up to 
  there would be appreciated!
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  R. L.
  High above the ancient forest.  The slopes surrounding it are covered with fields of wildflowers, growing in a 
  thick blanket over the lumpy ground. Anywhere you dig among the flowers, though, there are bones, bits of 
  armor, and weapons from an ancient battle where tens of thousands died.  By day, this area is safe enough, but by 
  night the restless dead begin to move and shuffle about the battle-field.  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Roll every hour for a random encounter 
  with 
  1-3
  Zombies
  4-5
  Skeletons
  6
  Grave Robbers
  Any hour spent digging up the battlefield will yield 
  1
  a magic weapon
  2-5
  nothing
  6
  a cursed item
  True Rumors: 
  1
  The elves in the area have gone mad and hunt 
  humans
  2
  Ghostly battles are fought throughout the night
  3
  There is an ogre around here
  4
  The citadel was once a respected school for nec-
  romancers, back when they were guides for dead 
  souls to the afterlife
  5
   there is a secret entrance to the crypts beneath the 
  citadel
  6
  There is a lich in the citadel
  7
  there is a portal to the underworld in the citadel
  8
  there is a powerful magical artifact in the citadel
  9
  the citadel changes its aspect in the moonligth
  10
  somewhere in the hills there is a lake that was 
  sacred to the elves, called the Mirror of Truth
  False Rumors:
  1
  nobody has ever returned from the citadel
  2
  the citadel is perfectly safe in the daylight
  3
  werewolves prowl the forest
  4
  there is a dead god in one of the crypts
  5
  the citadel just magically appeared one day
  6
  land sharks “swim” in the area around the citadel
  7
  the bite of zombies in the citadel turns you into a 
  zombie
  8
  if you stay overnight in the citadel you become one 
  of the undead
  9
  there is an old hermit in the forest on the butte 
  near the citadel who knows how to cure werewolf 
  bites
  10
  if you turn your coat inside-out werewolves can’t 
  see or smell you
  A – The Grandfather Tree of the Elves. By day this is 
  a gigantic, but normal, cypress.  In the moonlight, it is 
  festooned with dangling bodies, hanging upside-down 
  from its branches with ropes around their left foot.  
  These corpses are travellers that the elves have killed 
  and sacrificed to the tree, to try to preserve it against the 
  forces that are draining its life from within the citadel.
  B – The pool beneath the waterfall. This is actually 
  deep enough that you might survive jumping from the 
  cliffs above into it.  Behind the waterfall there is a secret 
  door, with a tunnel leading to the crypts.
  C – the ogre Trismagestix lives in this cavern. Imme-
  diately inside the entrance to the cave is a wooden cage 
  containing a number of zombies, from a distance they 
  may be mistaken for people: these are food for the ogre. 
  He regularly replenishes his stock from the seemingly 
  endless horde shuffling about the battlefield at night.  
  The ogre is gigantic, and grotesquely fat, even for an 
  ogre; he wears a necklace with three human heads.  The 
  heads are undead, but bound to his service, and they give 
  him advice and will warn him of danger.  The rightmost 
  head in life was a wizard, and can still cast spells; the 
  middle head was an elf and can detect surprise and am-
  bushes as an elf; the leftmost head was an evil cleric, and 
  can still control/turn undead, but not cast other clerical 
  spells.  Trismagestix often converses with the heads as 
  he goes about his business, so only gains surprise half the 
  normal chance.
  D – the road along the cliff is in very bad repair; it is im-
  passible to carts, and counts as rough ground to  mounts.
  E – the main building of the citadel, the Academy.  This 
  was an ancient school for necromancers back when they 
  served as psychopomps: guides for the souls of the dead 
  to the afterlife.  At some point the school became cor-
  rupted and the headmaster Neblod Zinn became obsessed 
  with being able to open a portal to the land of the dead 
  and recover souls, granting them new life and new 
  bodies.  Eventually this led to him becoming a lich, and 
  raising and army of undead to build the citadel and pre-
  vent interference with his work: in particular, the elves 
  tried time and again to stop him, once they learned that 
  the source of the power to keep the portal open was their 
  Grandfather Tree.  Ultimately they allied with the hu-
  mans and raised an army to defeat him: the battlefield is 
  the result of that seige.  The elven army was on the verge 
  of victory when Zinn hurriedly cast the not yet perfected 
  spell to wedge the portal to the land of the dead open 
  permanently.  (see G) 
  The backlash from the spell killed everybody in the 
  citadel and the battlefield outside the walls, but cursed 
  them to weird undead existence.  During the day they 
  are corpses, unless disturbed, in which case they rise as 
  zombies or skeletons to slay those who disturb them; no 
  matter how many times they are destroyed, they will 
  return the next day at cock-crow where they originally 
  fell. Some of the necromancers became wights, specters, 
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  or the like instead, and are in possession of their faculties 
  during the day, but must hide in the crypts and buildings 
  of the citadel; they are bound to the citadel and cannot 
  leave.  During the night, the warring armies and necro-
  mancers come back as ghosts, fighting the final battle 
  interminably.  The necromancers have formed opposed 
  factions, as they use their undead to fight eachother for 
  control of more of the ruins.  The undead that were the 
  crusaders are not under the control of the remaining 
  necromancers and attempt to bring them to ruin; as long 
  as the portal is open, however, whoever is slain will just 
  be reconstituted the next day at cock-crow.  This goes 
  for PCs as well: should they be killed in the citadel, the 
  next morning they will become undead bound to the 
  citadel until the portal is closed.  PC intervention can 
  turn the tide of the battles: if the PCs can destroy any 
  of the self-aware undead (the necromancers), when they 
  reconstitute they will be zombies, no longer able to com-
  mand the other undead...though they will still battle the 
  crusaders.
  F – the Fountain of Eternity. Drinking from the foun-
  tain causes you do have to make a save vs. Death; if you 
  succeed, you are unharmed, and have the ability to see 
  and speak with ghosts.  The ghosts around during the 
  day are generally the crusaders, can can explain the 
  situation in general terms to the curious.  If you fail 
  the save, you die: but only for 1d10 hours.  During that 
  1d10 hours your soul leaves your body, and you become 
  a ghost and may travel about freely (in the astral and 
  ethereal planes, if they exists in the campaign) and may 
  interact with the other ghosts.  At the end of the time 
  period, if you are in your body, you come back to life.  If 
  circumstances prevent you from returning to your body 
  in time, you really die.  Should this happen any other 
  soul nearby can enter the body and become a fully living 
  being (with their old memories and personality, but the 
  new body).  You might want to be careful about that.
  G – the portal to the land of the dead. Neblod Zinn’s 
  ritual worked after a fashion, and there is indeed an open 
  portal to the land of the dead in the center of the sum-
  moning circle ; unfortunately for Zinn, he is trapped in 
  the opening, unable to move or take action, but also im-
  pervious to the passage of time, or any interaction with 
  the world.  He is holding the Wand of Orcus (similarly 
  impervious).  Should the portal ever be closed, he will 
  once again be free to act. PCs can physically enter the 
  afterlife by going through the portal; whether they can 
  exit again and what they can do there depends on the 
  nature of the afterlife in the campaign.  The portal can 
  only be closed by somebody willingly sacrificing their 
  lives to shut it.
  H – the invidual mausoleums of the staff of the citadel, 
  from when it was an active center of necromancy; most 
  of the self-aware undead and their minions hide in these 
  during the day, if they are not in the Academy itself.  
  Many of them have treasure, but all of them have active 
  undead.
  I – the barracks and housing of the living staff of the 
  citadel.  Again full of undead, but little if any treasure.  
  Quite a few buildings are empty, their inhabitants having 
  been recruited by the active necromancers in H and E.
  J – the Keep.  Constructed to be the focal point of the 
  Citadel’s defenses, this is a full-fledged castle, with high 
  towers, artillery (appropriate to the campaign, ballistae 
  and catapults, or cannons and mortars) and a command-
  ing view of the road and battle field.  It is mostly in 
  ruins, having been reduced by the crusaders during the 
  seige; this is the thickest area of crusader dead & undead.
  K – the tower – a prison when the keep was active; most-
  ly intact, mostly filled with more horrible undead than 
  usual, experiments gone wrong and bound by (weaken-
  ing) magical wards. There is a skullmonculus prowling 
  the tower: a horrible undead construct consisting of a 
  skull atop a hand, capable of casting spells as a magic 
  user, as well as having a permanent telekinetic ability 
  to manipulate objects as if it had two working hands.  It 
  will attempt to stay out of sight and trick or lure the par-
  ty to their doom, generally by casting illusions, locking 
  them in places, making noise to bring attention to them.
  L – the largest Gelatinous Cube (or in this case cylin-
  der) in the world is contained in the tower; it was used 
  to dispose of things that even the necromancers didn’t 
  want hanging around; there is a gate at the bottom of 
  the tower that could be opened in an emergency to let it 
  ooze out onto the road to consume oncoming troops.  On 
  the top level of the tower are controls to open the gate, 
  and a pan-flute that can magically attract the cube (or 
  any cube or ooze): it doesn’t grant control, it just causes 
  them to irresistably come towards the piper as far as they 
  can... if the piper doesn’t stay safely out of reach, oops.
  M – the Mirror of Truth.  Bathing in the lake (but not 
  water from the lake) will remove all curses and trans-
  formations, and return any body to its natural state... 
  this will irrevocably kill any undead.  However, anybody 
  who bathes in the water can never tell another false-
  hood, nor shade the truth, nor withhold the truth when 
  asked a direct question.  They do not, however, have to 
  volunteer everything they know to anybody who will 
  listen.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  PLACES 
  Citadel of Crypts by Joshua Macy
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  The Tomb of King Arkadin 
  The Resplendent
  By Joey Lindsey
  http://metalvsskin.blgospot.com
  Written as a framework and inspiration; should be able 
  to flesh out in ~30 minutes.
  1
  Descending spiral stairs, musty smell, air rushing 
  out, flying pests above - bats, stirges, etc.
  2
  Other entrance, same level as 1. Chest at far end. 
  Entire floor is false/covered pit. Will collapse into 
  8 when weight is put on it. 3d6 falling damage.
  3
  Piles of anachronistic gear, some from adventurers. 
  Bodies of servants/slaves badly mummified.
  4
  Spiral Stirs exit here and go up/down. 
  5
  Sarcophagus of minor official
  6
  Long hallway; mechanism to turn off electrified 
  floor plates (see 7) but it’s missing pieces that are 
  scattered throughout the tomb
  7
  Dark tiles are electrified; ancient armory
  8
  Chest at top, hole in floor 
  at bottom; floor is pres-
  sure plate. When weight 
  is applied, the north wall 
  pushes everything in the 
  room into the hole to 15.
  9
  dart trap in here
  10
  latrine (deep stone well)
  11
  rubble blocking door; altar with wrecked orna-
  ments of ancient religion; burn marks on floor.
  12
  2 murky pools; water monsters; Grates and 
  clogged plumbing to other area
  13
  Spiral stairs exit and go up. door to 16 hidden
  14
  Servant beds and belongings; chance of intact 
  common items
  15
  Two sarcophaguses; dancing skeleton; undead 
  dogs hungry for flesh. If you fell through 2 and 8 
  you end up here. 3d6 falling damage from 8.
  16
  When entered, stair column begins spinning and 
  won’t stop. Mosaics along walls here can control 
  traps/doors/monster cages if deciphered. If King’s 
  tomb read or opened, all treasure looks like trash 
  (illusion); if Queen’s tomb read or opened, a pla-
  nar creature is summoned. 
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  something dealing with an ancient tomb/pyramid/place of the 
  dead. Could be a map or a table of random items or encounters, 
  or a special guardian. Totally up to you Santicore.
  Thanks,  
   
   
  D. B.
  Row of guard statues 
  in middle; statues 
  of King and Queen 
  seated above.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  PLACES 
  The Tomb of King Arkadin  The Resplendent By Joey Lindsey
  
  143
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  by Dyson Logos
  dyson.logos@gmail.com
  http://rpgcharacters.wordpress.com
  Dear Santicore...
  some kind of floating adventure location, a-bob upon the cold, blood-coloured, 
  techno-viking infested sea north of the kingdom of the ship people please.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  E. W.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  PLACES 
  The Wandering Isle by Dyson Logos
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  THE BAMUUDAUR 
  TRIANGLE
  by Rob Leah
  rampant.tapir@btinternet.com
  A strange and mystical location for all genres!
  BACKGROUND
  The remote mining village of Bamuudaur nestles in the 
  wooded foothills of the mineral rich Moonlode moun-
  tains. The mines and its position astride a trade road 
  made Bamuudaur a prosperous and bustling settlement 
  but then the accidents started to happen. If the cave-ins 
  and disappearances in the mines weren’t bad enough, 
  an increasing number of merchant caravans travelling 
  along the trade route failed to reach their destinations, 
  some leaving no trace of their existence while all that 
  remained of others was the occasional appearance of a 
  bewildered and frightened pack animal.
  When villagers who dared to venture into the woods also 
  began to disappear, the fate of the village was sealed 
  and, over a short period of time, it became an abandoned 
  ghost town and the trade caravans no longer passed 
  through the area, the merchants preferring safer routes.
  The miners’ lust for valuable ore had driven them to dig 
  deeper and deeper, until they unleashed a long forgot-
  ten power within the mountains – a portal to another 
  dimension that has now leeched into the real world.
  The area of the adventure is a roughly triangular area of 
  forest centred on Bamuudaur and bordered by the moun-
  tains, forest and river on 3 sides. It is an otherworldly 
  place of  fear and mystery. Few now dare to venture 
  within the borders of the Triangle and fewer still ever 
  re-appear again. If they do it is often years later, their 
  minds broken by whatever they have encountered.
  This is an adventure framework for a party of any size or 
  experience. They may be drawn to the Triangle by the 
  lure of the unknown, hired to find missing persons or 
  property or simply in search of loot.
  Once they enter the Triangle, the party will progress 
  through the adventure by means of a series of encounters 
  with the occupants of the area (henceforth known as the 
  Denizens). Encounters will become increasingly more 
  challenging until the party eventually meets the Deni-
  zen who controls the area and either wins their freedom 
  or meets their doom.
  GENRES AND ATMOSPHERE
  This setting can be used for most genres with little diffi-
  culty. The Denizens could be faeries, demons, aliens or 
  eldritch horrors - whatever fits into the existing cam-
  paign.
  As such, no specific creatures are specified in the en-
  counters, instead a THREAT rating is used to allow 
  the GM to choose Denizens that are appropriate to their 
  campaign and their players’ abilities. This requires a bit 
  more thought on the part of the GM but, hey, that’s part 
  of the fun of the job!
  The setting should be a sparsely populated wilderness 
  area that has a reputation for strange happenings and 
  that is generally avoided by all but the bold and foolish.
  The players should be made very aware of the other-
  worldliness of the location, that something is present 
  here that is not of their normal world. There will not 
  necessarily be any consistency between encounters, 
  which gives the GM the opportunity to make them as 
  weird and chaotic as they like.
  ENCOUNTERS AND THREAT LEVELS
  To avoid being genre or system specific, each encounter 
  is rated for the threat it poses to a party of adventurers. 
  This gives the GM some idea as to how powerful an 
  encounter should be to give the players a suitable chal-
  lenge, whatever their level of experience is. Encounter 
  Threat Levels are as follows:
  LOW – This encounter will pose little danger to a 
  party who would be good at dealing with that type of 
  threat (eg Fighters vs Goblins). Parties that are less well 
  equipped to deal with this threat (eg a young acolyte 
  facing the same Goblins) may find the encounter more of 
  a challenge, although rarely life threatening.
  MEDIUM – This encounter should be generally chal-
  lenging for those equipped to deal with it (eg a Parapsy-
  chologist vs spirit entities) with the potential to suffer 
  serious loss for those who are less well prepared (eg a 
  slow witted character faced with a riddle). 
  HIGH – This encounter is a real toughie, even for those 
  skilled in countering that type of threat (eg a Thief vs 
  traps). The potential for loss is high and these encoun-
  ters could prove fatal for the unprepared (eg the same 
  thief suddenly faced with a Minotaur).
  ENCOUNTERS WITHIN THE TRIANGLE
  Roll d10 on the following table, adding 1 to the roll for 
  each previous encounter. Note that all encounters are 
  generally hostile to the party.
  1-2
  Unsettling sights – ghosts, illusions, hallucina-
  tions – physically harmless but may cause psycho-
  logical damage.  THREAT = LOW
  3
  Mischievous Denizens – small, agile, sneaky and 
  spiteful, these Denizens appear in great numbers 
  to harass and torment the party. Physically weak 
  and not powerful in combat, they still pose some 
  danger due to their numbers and may lay traps for 
  unwary adventurers. THREAT = LOW
  4
  Scuttling Horrors – Denizens residing in dark 
  and hidden places who attack from ambush. 
  THREAT = LOW
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A crazy location/hook loosely inspired by the Bermuda 
  Triangle.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  D. W. 
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  PLACES 
  THE BAMUUDAUR  TRIANGLE by Rob Leah
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  5
  Enigma – traps, puzzles or encounters with rid-
  dling Denizens. Basically anything that requires 
  wit rather than force to overcome. THREAT = 
  LOW
  6
  Lost Adventurers – the party encounters another 
  group of adventurers who have been lost in the tri-
  angle for some time. They may have story to tell 
  but are generally hostile to the party. THREAT 
  = MEDIUM
  7
  Undead Denizens – the physical forms of the dead 
  brought back to life by the powerful and unpre-
  dictable forces within the triangle. THREAT = 
  MEDIUM
  8
  Warband – a group of belligerent Denizens intent 
  on making trophies of the parties mangled corps-
  es. THREAT = MEDIUM
  9
  Confused Alignment – the party encounters Den-
  izens who should normally be good and helpful 
  (eg sympathetic law enforcers, paladins or uni-
  corns) but, surprisingly, turn out to be really evil 
  and twisted. THREAT = MEDIUM or HIGH
  10
  Hunting Party – a large group of predatory Den-
  izens that has been tracking the party catches up 
  with them. Parties that include PCs with appro-
  priate outdoors skills may be aware that they have 
  been followed and be able to get the drop on the 
  Denizens. THREAT = MEDIUM
  11
  Cursed Location – strange forces are at work here 
  that may randomly affect PCs with curses or other 
  ailments THREAT = HIGH
  12
  Behemoth – a single huge Denizen, intent on 
  grinding the party to dust. THREAT = HIGH
  13
  The Big Boss – the final climactic encounter with 
  the most potent Denizen within the triangle. 
  This Denizen may be an overseer, a gatekeeper 
  or simply a powerful, twisted entity out for kicks. 
  Defeating this Denizen allows the party to exit 
  the triangle and is their only means of escape. 
  THREAT = HIGH
  The GM continues to roll for encounters until the party 
  is overcome or they win their freedom from the Triangle 
  by defeating the Big Boss.
  ENCOUNTER LOCATIONS
  These can be set anywhere that the GM desires but the 
  following table is provided as a quick fix. Roll D6.
  1
  Sunlit Glade
  2
  Abandoned Dwelling
  3
  Mine shaft
  4
  Forest Road
  5
  Overgrown Woods
  6
  Denizens Lair
  TIME AND THE TRIANGLE
  Within the triangle, time appears to pass normally for 
  the party. However there is a fundamental disconnect 
  between what happens inside and outside the area and 
  the passage of time in the real world may be very differ-
  ent. The longer that the party spends in the triangle, the 
  greater the temporal disconnect.
  When (if!) the party escapes from the triangle after de-
  feating the Big Boss, roll 2D6 and refer to the following 
  table to see how much time has passed in the real world. 
  Add 1 to the roll for each Encounter and/or period of 
  sleep that the party had in the triangle.
  2-4
  D6 seconds
  5-6
  D6 minutes
  7-8
  D6 hours
  9-11
  D6 days
  12-14
  D6 weeks
  15-17
  D6 months
  18+ 
  D6 years
  THE GOLDEN RULE
  The GM should treat all of the above as guidelines. For 
  example, feel free to add in additional encounters or if 
  a certain encounter just doesn’t feel right or having the 
  party spend 4 years out of the real world screws with the 
  campaign, just change it and have fun!
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  PLACES 
  THE BAMUUDAUR  TRIANGLE by Rob Leah
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Weird Hexes
  by Roger SG Sorolla
  rogersebastian@gmail.com
  rolesrules.blogspot.com
  1417  NAZHDUNYA: Village of 65 narwhal herders, 
  long matted hair for clothing/armor, ride tame orcas, 
  live on kelp rafts. Having argument: Varal’s prize heifer 
  suspected of being a were-narwhal (she is, but Varal 
  loves her human form)
  1418 Sea troll rises to surface, keens nightly for lost love. 
  Lair is sunken Dwarven ship filled with mining equip-
  ment, chest of gold bullion.
  1419 KRENDT: Floating ring atoll with freshwater 
  lagoon, made of edible green ice teeming with algae and 
  plankton. Very easy life for 300 or so inhabitants, but 
  trade on unfavourable terms with the sea cow herders, 
  and owe a yearly human sacrifice to an eel-dragon, due 
  next week; they are currently preparing the complicated 
  winnowing contest and would be very glad to sub in an 
  outsider for one of their own.
  1420 CASTLE VOKLOSS: Another outcropping of 
  green ice shaped into a mostly-submerged castle. Human 
  warlord and 7 henchmen above the waterline, 90 or so 
  mermen troops below. Enforcer for the region’s popula-
  tions, suspicious of any interloping vessels, want a cut of 
  any treasure opportunities.
  1421 Everyone knows a pair of sea unicorns roams about 
  here, and the legend goes, a touch of both horns will 
  spark the dead to life. The female speaks an ancient 
  language and is benevolent and reasonable. Less clear is 
  how to tame the male but perhaps a virgin mermaid will 
  do. Trouble is, there is only one mature virgin mermaid 
  in 1420 and she is keeping her secret pretty close.
  1422 OUCH-A-DART ISLAND: Contemptibly small 
  island with rickety inn built on a rock, proprietor a 
  dwarf of indeterminate gender with soapstone golem 
  bodyguard, weathered docks, popular truce zone and 
  watering hole for summer sailors and winter ice sailors.
  1423 The Left Thumb, trading vessel headed for Ouch-
  A-Dart Island, loaded with whale oil, pursued at discreet 
  distance by ice lizard man pirates. Captain will set alight 
  rather than hand over cargo.
  1424 WRECKER’S ISLAND: Mostly submerged, this 
  movable floe of stable blue ice is captained by 40 snow 
  gnome shipwreckers and their ice weasel pets, who ma-
  neuver it in the way of passing ships, wait for the sailors 
  to starve, and then emerge to collect the reward. Right 
  now they’re processing a merchant cog with five bare-
  ly-alive survivors and  a hull full of brocaded pillows 
  and hassocks.. 
  Dear Santicore, I want these crappy hexes re-written so that they’re better and in 
  short, quick Hexenbracken/Kraal/Colossal Waste style. Add cool stuff, remove 
  boring stuff, make them interesting. Feel free to make ANY alterations you like or 
  just take what’s there and rewrite it so it’s short. The names and flavor should be 
  Warhammery and fake-Russian.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
   
  Z.
  SEA HEXES:
  1417Varale is the chief elder in this hunting community. They raise pigs, weave baskets and 
  make sandals that they offer for sale on market day. A group of wererats has been raiding their 
  corn and livestock of late.
  1418 Lost Love: A large store of Dwarven picks, shovels, and axes lays within a crevice in 
  which a troll seeks his lost mate.
  1419 DELOS : Delos is located on a fresh water lake that teeming with cheese. Local cheeseer-
  men have been making sacrifices to the dragon of Moak Island for the last six centuries.
  1420 Bridgefields Castle (Castle): A cousin of Dautles in the settlement of Bridgefields, 
  Raiseltan possessed enough foresight to see the coming strife between the cheesing settlements 
  on the lake and moved his home and retainers to the abandoned castle on the borders of the 
  territory. It required much refurbishment and upkeep but it paid off in the long run as Raiselt-
  an has long passed his cousin in skill.
  1421 Unicorn _: A mated pair of unicorns roams the area. If threatened or attacked, they will 
  flee. If cornered, they will defend themselves, but flee at first chance.
  1422 ARROWDALE (settlement): (retired, owner of the Old Cod Inn); Boni Factio Nactiv, 
  male lizardmen NG Exp5 (brewery proprietor).
  1423Arrowdale trades ale with Nuriedidin and Blackroot for copper and other goods. A small 
  band of goblins has been raiding to the south. Boni Factio Nactiv makes fine gnomish ale and 
  supplies the local festivals as well as the Inn. Bialfur Mar is a seasoned traveler of the Vast 
  Cube and has decided to retire in Arrowdale.
  1424 Inheritance (Citadel): Arrun was the sixth son of a wealthy fighter lord from Barbarian 
  Hakleth who was unhappy with his station and future meager inheritance. After hearing of 
  the Plain of Ten Battles and all the stories of arms and armor littering the fields he figured 
  he could collect it all and become wealthy himself. Upon actually reaching the plain he was 
  further rewarded by finding the partially intact remains of an old tower that he claimed for 
  himself. He and all his followers live off the land and occasionally go out and collect the 
  military spoils left on the fields (he has lost more then one man to this endeavor as well).
  1425 BRIDGEFIELDS (settlement): Bridgefields is a market for cheese and grain. Dautles 
  is wise, but cannot keep order in this cheesing community. They are disputing cheesing rights 
  with Caldia on Shadow Lake. Kartha and his cheesing guild want war.
  1426 Battlefield Castle (Castle): Having killed a great wyrm during his adventure days, Sir 
  Reginald returned to the land of his birth and proceeded to have a castle built near his native 
  settlement of Arrowdale. The vast treasure of the fell beast paid handsomely for the construc-
  tion of the keep and after seven years it stands tall and bright in the eastern sunrises of The 
  Plain of Ten Battles. The castle lies exactly halfway between the settlement of Arrowdale and 
  the citadel of Cleymarch Winedrawn.
  1427 FENSHAFT (small): These goblins control the major pass through the Terad Range. 
  The dwarves are forced to pay a tax to sell their ore in the market here. This has resulted in 
  many pitched battles between the goblins and the dwarves. Kazan often rolls large bounders 
  toward crowds of goblins seeing how many he can knock down. 
  LAND HEXES (Snowy barren fake-Russia):
  1428 Brimstone Castle (Castle): Farenthorn was originally from the north but fell out of favor 
  with the aristocrats of his country and had to flee for his life. He was able to take much of his 
  vast fortune with him and bought the castle he calls home from the Kingdom of Karak. He 
  has, unfortunately for the dwarves of Garzan, made an alliance with Kazan Arpad of Fenshaft 
  and the two are major allies now. Both make the dwarves pay highly for the right to trade their 
  goods along the east road. 
  1429 Isle of Moak _: Sunwrak Spire (Castle): Vavid is the son of a famous lizardmen, Illgish, 
  who built Sunwrak Spire. The name comes from the crystalline castle that rises high above 
  the plain. Light catches on the castle creating strange whirls of color in the sky. Maric is the 
  captain of the watch in Sundog Spire. Although his men are easily bribed, he is not. Maric 
  deeply desires a wife and his eyes are easily softened with beauty. 
  1430 NISAN-MOOT (settlement): This settlement is the location of the annual clan moot 
  for many of the Neanderthal tribes. Rare spices grow on the banks of the Lake of the Crown 
  Beast. Growers harvest them and trade them down river. Hyastis is hetman of the tribe, but 
  Montzen has more influence. 
  1431 Citadel of the Three (Citadel): 
  1433Six years ago, three adventuring companions decided to pool their wealth and construct a 
  fastness for their safety and research studies. They gathered together a following of individuals 
  looking for a new start and the result is this citadel and a small cluster of houses outside the 
  walls. Though for the most part seeking solitude the three are friendly to all visitors, though 
  rarely do they entertain any such people personally. 
  1434 goblins _: The remnants of a great goblin army, Gulark (Male goblin War3; hp 13; _; 
  battleaxe, scalemail, 2 javelins) leads a small ragtag band of 38 goblin mercenaries across 
  the Plain of Ten Battles. The goblins have set up camp here and are currently attempting to 
  strengthen their numbers with new recruits before moving on. 
  1435 CALDIA (settlement): Caldia is a Karzulun cheese market on Shadow Lake. They own 
  all the cheesing rights on the northern half of the lake although Bridgefield wants to negotiate 
  for better terms. There are currently 12 cheesemaker from Bridgefield in the settlement jail for 
  trespassing on the north end. Despite Chapnel’s requests Parsed Darg refuses to release them. 
  1436 The Hydra Nest _: Within an extinct crater, a six-headed hydra guards its nest of eggs. 
  The nest is constructed of brambles and the remains of an elf, still wearing his +2 chainmail 
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  Weird Hexes by Roger SG Sorolla
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  1425 A flotilla of five skyboats from Mount Khovar, 
  looking to catch craft and men with nets and harpoons, 
  for resale elsewhere.
  1426 GRANNY KNOT ISLAND: Anchored platform 
  of lashed ships and raised timbers hides behind a sor-
  cerous fogbank as mixed-class adventuring cooperative 
  The Granny Knot brings up the lost treasure of the ships 
  sunken (nearly all of them) in the Battle of Lyepansko’s 
  Loss twenty years ago. The paralyzing eyes of Lyepans-
  ko’s great gorgon figurehead, lashed to a prominent 
  capstan, still burn cold cyan and deter intruders. Two 
  reneging thieves are fleeing the scene with muffled oars 
  and choice bits of loot.
  1427 DASKADREK STRAIT: Apple-hurling distance 
  apart, these rocks are infested by ship-leaping goblins 
  who have recently decided to exact a toll rather than 
  attack. They are not too good at deciding what they 
  want and their chief bargainer, Glep, veers haphazardly 
  between escalation, compromise, generosity and non-se-
  quitur (d4).
  LAND HEXES (Snowy barren fake-Russia):
  1428 BRIMSTONE CASTLE: Surrounded by a sulfur 
  spring moat , the stench here rises to troglodyte levels. 
  Lord Volodya is an amazingly un-self-aware Baronet 
  of Tver who is entirely benevolent but creepy, walk-
  ing straight into every horror movie aristo cliché. His 
  housekeeper, the elderly Grushenka, is more sensible and 
  will try to calm the party in spite of Volodya’s insistence 
  that they drink the “special vintage” and view the “in-
  triguing bas reliefs” in the castle crypt. 15 fully masked, 
  unspeaking armored guards complete the scene.
  1429 SUNNY DAY CASTLE (Castle): Vavid is the 
  lieutenant of Volodya who oversees a garrison of 200 in 
  this citadel overlooking vast fields of snow-grazing musk 
  oxen and their stolid herdsmen. The spire is made of sol-
  id crystal and set on a gimbal so that it can be brought 
  to bear on a hostile approach. Weather magic keeps the 
  appropriate patch of sky clear. The beam is blinding 
  and white in the middle half of the day, and reddish and 
  damaging near dawn and dusk (4d6, save for 2d6).
  1430 NYADZHY (settlement): A festival is going on 
  and some of the decidedly inbred and devolved specimens 
  from the lands around are whooping it up. The hetman 
  Hyastuk is enthroned on a pile of precious spice-wort 
  bulbs and he and his henchmen are fending off threats 
  to his title, for who sits the throne at sunset keeps it all 
  year.
  1431 CITADEL OF THE THREE (Citadel): Strong-
  hold of former adventurers who rule a small fiefdom. 
  In its northern corner is a walled game preserve a few 
  square miles big. The Three will pay for live monsters 
  to be delivered to the preserve. Treasure and rumors 
  of treasure in the preserve keep poachers coming, and 
  hunted. 
  1434 38 mottled blue goblins, tough survivors, have dug 
  trenches here for the day and are camouflaged well, led 
  by a double-sized goblin with a triple-sized head. They 
  will spring an ambush, but flee in all directions if 12 or 
  more die. 
  1435 KOLODNA (settlement): Lakeside home of the fa-
  mous pickled fish that tests the gut and immune system. 
  Social class displayed by height of house stilts and depth 
  of water they are sunk in. Trade dispute over neighbor-
  ing routes has led to sullen enmity. Armed sojourners 
  will be approached by both sides seeking a violent resolu-
  tion in their favor. Picking sides, however, will earn the 
  enmity of the local Temple of the Cat’s Mouth and its 
  were-snow-tiger priest.
  1436 A six-headed fire-breathing hydra has created a 
  200-foot radius swamp lair from the permafrost, where 
  it hides its nest of eggs. Prehistoric live bramble seeds 
  long frozen have awakened under this treatment, making 
  the approach a hazardous one. A dead elven adventurer 
  with mail of lacquered green leaves (move as normal, 
  protected as plate mail) is being kept semi-frozen for the 
  young when they hatch.
  1437 THE INVISIBLE CITADEL (Citadel): Salith-
  ru and the large group she was following were pushed 
  to this place by riddles and doubt. The citadel itself is 
  visible only under the darkness of the sun and can only 
  be entered during the new moon. This effectively means 
  it exists on average once every seven solar eclipses. 
  Astrologers have gathered for the next appearance which 
  they are arguing about (estimates range from tomorrow 
  to next year.) Salithru’s group, if they do appear, is just 
  about running out of food now. Half of them mutiny, 
  half remain to guard the precious moon-riddle orb of the 
  central tower.
  armor. 
  1437 The Invisible Citadel (Citadel): Urthilas and his small following were led to this citadel 
  by signs and faith. The citadel itself is visible only under the light of the moon and can only 
  be entered (or attacked) during the full moon. Silver weapons can affect the tower at all times 
  but only if one can see it to hit it. During the ceremony of the moon (a ritual performed by the 
  inhabitants that takes a full hour) the inhabitants can enter or exit the tower freely, seeing it as 
  if under the effects of a see invisibility spell.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  PLACES 
  Weird Hexes by Roger SG Sorolla
  
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  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  Having made the appropriate sacrifices and spoken the Holy 
  Incantations of Secret Summoning, your worm-like supplicant 
  requests a simple method by which he or she may quickly gener-
  ate random planets upon which players may perish horribly or 
  adventure daringly for a fantasy oriented sword and plan-
  et-style campaign. General features, ports, dominant species, 
  plot hooks, whatever strikes the Great Santicore’s fancy may be 
  included. As brief or involved as you like.
  Thanks,  
   
   
  S. O.
  The Worlds of the 
  Outer Whorl
  by Richard G
  On the Scrying-glass you see... (d6)
  1
  gorgeous crystalline rivers in verdant valleys. The waters are (d6):
  1
  healthy and restorative (+1d4hp/day) but drinking them makes you sleep for 10 hours straight, beginning in 
  d12 hours.
  2
  filled with diverse, colourful, bewilderingly violent fish (reaction roll on first encountering: if friendly they 
  follow you and may help defend you. If unfriendly they will attack whenever you are near. Fight as kobolds, 
  orcs or ogres, depending on size of teeth/ambition).
  3
  fast-flowing and full of waterfalls (roll boating or swimming every time you travel by water. On a failed 
  roll: rapids! Reroll at +3. If you fail that, waterfall! Rapids: Dex save or 1d6 damage. Also Will save or lose 
  loose equipment. Waterfall: Dex save or 1d12 damage; Will save or lose boat).
  4
   mirror-smooth, weed-filled and constantly beckoning to any solitary character just to take a quick dip 
  while nobody’s looking (Will save whenever alone, then fort save to avoid hypnotic weeds).
  5
  access points to vast underground watercourse-caverns where the goblin-people live.
  6
  oddly insubstantial - you can walk right into them and sink, and also breathe their contents just fine. Hair 
  and loose cloth still drift about fetchingly. Fighting and Dex tasks at -3 while immersed.
  2
  desert composed of:
  1
  shifting sands (movement rate halved, rest every 4 hours or be at -2 to all tasks, cumulative).
  2
  hard crystalline rocks that easily yield stone weapons (daggers, on natural 20 break off in wound).
  3
  hard crystalline rocks that lock up just enough moisture to keep you alive indefinitely as long as you do 
  pretty much nothing else but crack and suck on rocks.
  4
  half-pulverized postapocalyptic trash. See +Jason K’s d300 table for salvageable goods: https://docs.google.
  com/document/d/1aAvSMcIQN0HvBPBiqXUCWH-z4nJQvkUKijuYQ0QbNU8
  5
  and that mysteriously blooms into intoxicating flowers every night/month/new moon/rainfall/visitation of 
  the Space Princess (Will save or enter dream sequence).
  6
  slippery glass engraved with titanic writing by some ancient, incomprehensibly powerful entity.
  3
  dazzlingly swoopy, wind-sculpted caverns and cathedrals of...
  1
  ice. Watch out for falling stalactites, storms, hypothermia and yetis.
  2
  lava blast-craters. The walls are richly veined with precious minerals but also host to silicate lava creatures 
  that feed on them.
  3
  spongy volcanic ash. You can carve out a shelter or a whole house with your hands. Exposed remains of 
  rooms attest to frequent landslides and cave-ins.
  4
   discarded rocket boosters and space junk. You can easily salvage strong, lightweight weapons and armour 
  doused in exotic industrial toxins. Shaping them to your needs may be more difficult.
  5
   cloud - fluffy to ankle depth, then oddly supportive. Constantly shifting. The locals just move their feasts. 
  The main danger is falling out of a thinning cloud while you’re asleep.
  6
  translucent jelly. The whole place is like a soft hall of mirrors. And seems to be slowly breathing.
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  4
  An endless sea, featureless except for...
  1
   a single Olympian mountain riddled with chimney-caves, which funnel gargling sounds up from far below.
  2
  a metal spire with a decadent temple-city perched on top.
  3
   a vertical railway pylon, leading into a dimensional gate.
  4
  a neverending hyperjet waterfall, like a solar coronal ejection, that circles around a moon, orbiting just a 
  few miles above the surface.
  5
  a giant stone statue, eyes closed.
  6
  a single whirlpool leading to the interior.
  5
  A wild jungly tangle of...
  1
  the mashed together bones of behemoths and leviathans. Some eggs/young may yet lurk in the interior.
  2
   spongy, knotted, mangrove-swamp-plant-things with no solid ground anywhere. They whisper constantly.
  3
  scaffolding, around which are strewn stringpunk webs of temporary shelters. Somewhere there may be a 
  building that all this scaff is holding up.
  4
  sewers and pipes. Their endlessly echoing wheezes and clanks make a low trumpeting almost like music.
  5
   ridiculously tall rainforest with multiple layers of flowering canopy like an elf’s wet dream.
  6
  vines hanging like spaghetti from some mossy, rooty superstrate. Tarzan monkeys brachiate deliriously.
  6
  A sprawling city built entirely around...
  1
  asteroid mining. Continuous blasting makes for a bumpy, rumbling experience. Smelting works sprout up in 
  deep unnatural fissures.
  2
  spice trees, which are the ony true wealth. At the center of every palace is a courtyard with a single sacred 
  seedling.
  3
  the hulls of wrecked ships. Masts serve as watch-towers, rigging forms the staircases.
  4
  cooling towers and fractionating columns, which draw heat and smoke from titanic underground furnaces. 
  The rich live in fragrant, soothing clouds of high-fraction vapours (addictive), the poor in the sooty zones, 
  where heavy, sluggish fractions serve them as armour, building materials and food.
  5
  ceremonial routes and boulevards. The entire population seems to be constantly on the march, celebrating 
  something or other. Wednesdays are military bands, Thursdays are naked carnival.
  6
  the universe’s greatest public transit system, now fallen into ruin and shorn of vehicles. The rich ride in 
  smooth white palanquins that look like they were designed by Apple. The poor carry them on their backs.
  In shades of... (d10)
  Its people are curiously fashioned... (d10)
  1
  fire opal.
  with pallid, translucent skins and hydraulics instead of muscles (+2 Str, -2 Dex).
  2
  lurid greens and yellows.
  with one distinctive animal feature – a tail or snout or bird legs or wings.
  3
  oily blue, black, purple and 
  pewter, like a Giger picture.
  with machine limbs that can be switched for different tasks (theft of limbs is 
  taken very seriously).
  4
  cartoonish iridescent splen-
  dour.
  like embodiments of the seven deadly sins, with exaggerated haughty, volup-
  tuous, morbidly obese or torpid features.
  5
  brown.
  out of teeming masses of tiny creatures like little stag beetles, that fit rigidly 
  together and crawl over each other to make facial expressions (+3 con, if killed 
  may reform over d10 rounds but with different bugs in control, therefore differ-
  ent personalities).
  6
  primary and complementa-
  ry colours. Like a 70s sci-fi 
  painting.
  out of multiple animal parts, like a taxidermist’s joke – half whale, half flea; 
  hands of a fighting mantis shrimp, tail of a lemur.
  7
  flickery gloom, like a Pira-
  nesi prison.
  almost exactly like humans but hollow from the back. They sleep in tiny cup-
  boards, stacked together.
  8
  sickly pastel, like a doll-
  house of the damned.
  out of scrimshaw, feathers and other loosely-assembled trash. They are delicate 
  and unpredictable.
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  150
  150
  9
  haunted, muted pallor.
  without upper limbs of any kind. They move stuff around with their brains, 
  which are hidden inside snail shells just above their waists
  10
  jungly fecundity, bursting 
  with life.
  to appeal to adolescent sex fantasies. They are also completely hairless and 
  pastel-coloured.
  They are equally peculiar in their attitudes;
  among themselves they are... (d10)
  while with strangers they’re... (d10)
  1
  fractious (Will save on any task not to get into a fight),
  guarded but gullible.
  2
  seemingly telepathic,
  no different from with locals: they expect them to 
  know everything.
  3
  bound by strict rules of etiquette (int save to avoid caus-
  ing offense unless you work through local interpreters),
  suspicious and taciturn.
  4
  rigidly hierarchical, ruled by petulant, impulsive aris-
  tocrats,
  uncomfortably curious.
  5
  impatient and demanding,
  patronizing.
  6
  helpful and attentive, but with little idea of privacy,
  dismissive.
  7
  completely tactless,
  unctuously accepting.
  8
  constantly making deals,
  misleadingly friendly.
  9
  constantly making bets – and then trying to cheat the 
  outcomes,
  tolerant until you do that thing.
  10
  indifferent, even to terrible suffering,
  desperately clingy, like they’re hoping you’re the 
  messiah.
  Behind the scenes they are...    (3d6 sentence constructor... A, B, C)
  A
  B
  C
  1
  obsessed with...
  digging up ancient...
  monster guardians.
  2
  embarrassed by...
  censoring and suppressing...
  clones of their pop idols.
  3
  secretly and hypocritically...
  trying to bury...
  temples and god-radios.
  4
  fighting against invaders who are...
  inventing...
  cheap (zombie? automaton? 
  slave?) labourers.
  5
  enslaved and forced into...
  competing over...
  works of art you can live inside.
  6
  bamboozled by a bunch of charlatans who 
  are sneakily...
  infecting their enemies with...
  amusing mutations.
  Your guide here is... (d10)
  Power rests with the... (d10)
  1
  a foreigner who has been stranded here for just a few months.
  Guild of Licensers and Quantifiers.
  2
  a native for whom everything local is obvious.
  secretive Priesthood of the Telluric Gaze.
  3
  an elderly exile, sneaking back for one last meal cooked by 
  an incomparable chef.
  black-market moneychangers’ mafia.
  4
  the untouchable porter who guards your bags with fanatical 
  zeal and will lay down his life for a pittance.
  child Emperor and his dizzying variety of 
  bureaucrats.
  5
  an eccentric noble who treats you like an exotic pet.
  “Trusted Persons of Good Reputation and Fam-
  ily” who run a monopoly on guest houses and 
  trading palaces.
  6
  a homunculus on the run from the wizards’ guild. It disguis-
  es itself as a bit of your regalia.
  many flamboyant warlords, locked in a deadly 
  struggle for primacy.
  7
  a badly-damaged and incomplete tourist manual.
  Celestial Bee grubs, nurtured in some secret 
  temple-hive deep in the bowels of the planet.
  8
  a badly-damaged professional tour guide.
  godzilla-tamers.
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  151
  151
  9
  a priest of the Customs And Excise Cult.
  Vizierate of the Holy Order of Wizards. The 
  Wizards themselves are far too busy to indulge 
  in local politics.
  10
  two constantly bickering teenagers, quite indifferent to your 
  needs.
  rats, who merely tolerate the presence of hu-
  mans in their city.
  Beware the dreaded... (d10)
  1
  Minions of Threek: they fight like ogres but are small enough to fit on your hand. There are only 5 of them.
  2
  Hungry Shadows: they reach out of any crevice or dark place with hairy tendrils. For every round they’re 
  undetected, they get 1d6 Str to pull you into their obscure lair.
  3
  Googly 6-eyes: 20cm long, 5cm wide and froggish, these rubbery-mouthed little moppets can swallow any-
  thing up to the size of a house. Their saliva contains a powerful anaesthetic. Can digest 120kg a day if uninter-
  rupted (1d8 damage/hour)
  4
  Recluse Spikeder. Fond of lurking in tree stumps. Its bite carries a fearsome but slow-acting poison and leaves a 
  green blob. Death comes in 3 days, after madness.
  5
  Rhizome Yeti. Looks like a shifting skein of roots and tendrils, covering up to 30 square feet. Attacks by bind-
  ing/strangulation or throwing rocks. Fond of living on the ceilings of caves and storerooms.
  6
  Charming Elevampire. Size of a baby elephant, pale grey with adorable coral pink touches around the eyes, 
  ears and snout. Will save to avoid petting it. Its snuffling, snuggling attentions drain 1 point of Int or Wis per 
  round.
  7
  Ancient Policemen. Gigantic, implacable, hard as rock, they patrol the ruins of ancient cities looking for vehi-
  cles parked in the wrong places.
  8
  Pre-lapsarian Orcs. Noble, aquiline, egotistical, charismatic, irresponsible.
  9
  Hopalong Breath Vampires. Stolen straight out of a Chinese ghost story, they are desperately trying to get 
  back. Often disguise themselves as distressed travelers to attach themselves to parties of foreigners. Have the 
  best intentions but drain 1hp/day from all within 20 feet.
  10
  Vancian Waste-lurkers, shrouded in a light authorial mystery. Are they bugs? Are they reptiles? It’s never qute 
  clear. But they are certainly sardonic and mercenary. Roll HD, AC and damage dice randomly per encounter.
  Of course there’s a Princess. She’s... (d10)
  1
  seductive, sociopathic, and addicted to spiky gold jewelry.
  2
  caped and veiled and guarding a terrible secret.
  3
  missing, ever since she went hunting in the Dark Interior for the Lost Spider Gem.
  4
  clearly got the hots for you but held prisoner by her jealous uncle.
  5
  distributed in seven parts around the secret places of the world.
  6
  just died, and has therefore just been reincarnated somewhere on the planet.
  7
  an octogenarian clinging to power by refusing to marry and therefore holding up the succession.
  8
  ancient, eternal, beautiful and terrible. She must be renewed each moon with blood sacrifices.
  9
  appointed by the Council to serve until such time as she starts asking questions. Currently the position is va-
  cant - just sign here...
  10
  smart, sassy and runs the government right out from under the feet of the Vizier, her parents and the priest-
  hood.
  The intrigues by which they draw you in... (d8)
  1
  You have upset the rites with your barbarous presence! Prove your worth before you are slain! (proof consists of 
  doing some improbably difficult task that the head priest obviously has no idea how to accomplish otherwise)
  2
  Our souls have been stolen! Yours will be stolen too unless you defeat the thief! (must be achieved before the 
  next pass of the Dolorous Moon, or everyone without a soul turns into sandstone)
  3
  Those are the ones who kidnapped the Princess! (people who claim to have witnessed the deed know a surpris-
  ing amount about your previous adventures)
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  152
  152
  4
  That guy just killed that other guy and you’re the only one who saw him do it! Wait, the killer... he’s the head 
  of the secret police or something, isn’t he?
  5
  Your trade goods have just been declared illegal! Please turn them over to the proper authorities, and pay no 
  attention to the hordes of desperate customers.
  6
  We know you, you’re that renegade no-good runaway prince! We’re impounding your ship and calling your 
  creditors.
  7
  Why that’s the Appalling Orb of Threek. I bet his minions are after you right now. How fast can you learn to 
  wield it?
  8
  This whole place is cursed, and only you can see the curse working on the people.
  The Twist... (d6)
  1
  The whole thing is an elaborate support for the Hidden Tyrant’s pleasure dome. Once you know this secret, 
  they’ll never let you leave.
  2
  The world is alive! And it wants to go somewhere. All these people are stopping it from realizing its destiny! 
  (maybe for good reason)
  3
  Pay no attention to the man behind the pawnshop. The dungeon-warren is like a gold rush town, and the guy 
  who really runs the show is the loan shark who hands out the equipment needed to explore the depths.
  4
  The endless flow of McGuffins you need to keep rescuing from temples? Yeah, no. The real point is to expose 
  you to the various unholy energies of the temples themselves. You are... slowly... changing...
  5
  You’re actually inside the mind of one of the PCs. Everything you destroy is something that will be taken off 
  their character sheet. If you can bring out the Golden Treasure then they realise something about their Myste-
  rious Past.
  6
  The whole planet is an elaborate illusion/stage set, the people are automata, the plots are rigged.... but why? 
  Why? (d4):*
  1
  to distract you while the Hidden Puppeteers steal all your stuff.
  2
  as a decoy for some Horrible World-Eating Monster (allows you to show the monster in action before it starts 
  eating the PCs’ own world).
  3
  the ersatz world is re-enacting some complex ritual that’s the key for opening up a new universe. The Evil 
  Overlords already destroyed the real key, so they’re trying to recreate it with a simulacrum.
  4
  it’s a kind of ablative armour for reclusive engineeromancers living deep inside. They make the dolls to soak up 
  your ammo: if you get weak enough not to pose a threat they may offer to parley/trade.
  5
  it’s a kind of gladiatorial entertainment for exotic overminds. Yawn. And the prize is escape but nobody really 
  escapes. Yeah, you’ve seen this one. Except that the automata are just autonomous enough that you might be 
  able to defeat their programming, get them to rise up together and crush their hidden masters and live free! 
  Unfortunately they can’t leave because they’re tied to the power source/repair yard, so it’ll be a bittersweet 
  revolution for the clockwork people.
  * Yup, that’s 5 options. Because nobody should be forced into the “it’s all an illusion” thing unless they really want to be.
  For Example:
  The world of Uggluchk is a massive and confusing tangle of pipes, mostly rusty or blackened with ancient smoke. Its people draw 
  off vile-smelling liquids from tanks inside the structure to replenish their leaky hydraulic bodies. They follow exacting codes of 
  dress and manners and are reserved among themselves, but love gossip and ply visitors for personal details, especially concerning 
  their bodily fluids.
  Deep in the heart of the tangle are the legendary Baths of the Silken Emperor. Nobody’s seen the Emperor in centuries, but he 
  continues to receive sacrifices of fragrantly–prepared virgins and everyone’s goddamn hot water into his hidden lair.
   
  The people revere their Princess – whose picture curiously looks exactly like the young Brigitte Bardot and not at all hydraulic – 
  but she’s gone missing in the Dank Interior and she’s taken the keys to the Fluid Replenisher with her. So with great regret they 
  must impound your ship and send you into the lightless depths far beyond the reach of their feed pipes to get her back.
  Of course the answer’s in the Baths. Turns out there’s a factory down there turning out perfect, candy-coloured Bardots. The 
  princess was stolen by Nefarious Industrialists as a prototype. The key was stolen because manufacturing the Bardots is draining 
  the Fluids tank dry, slowly and inevitably killing the hydraulic folk topside.
  The factory-made Bardots are perfectly nice and indistinguishable from the original. The Nefarious Industrialists are remark-
  ably slippery – if captured they’ll refuse to answer questions but hint darkly at every conspiracy you have going in the campaign. 
  The Hydraulics are polite and basically good, but desperation can make them act like jerks. And they won’t know what to do if 
  you come back with more than one princess. And the deep recesses of the pipe forest are, of course, lousy with monsters.
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  12 Interesting 
  Spelljammer Planets
  by Daniel Stull
  hardcor3@gmail.com
  http://atthetablegames.com/shootingwomprats
  Greetings, Explorer! I am D’naeil.
  Most just call me “Neil.”
  Through various means and ways, word has come to me 
  that you too share in the need to discover and explore 
  the byways and pathways our Spelljammers travel. You 
  are in luck - I have information on some worlds, even 
  some crystal spheres, that may pique your interest. A 
  word of warning - some of these worlds may prove to be 
  dangerous, and possibly quite hostile. I will not be held 
  responsible for you or your crew being torn limb-from-
  limb by some alien menace.
  I. Ursae VII
  Ursae VII is a world that is rich in iron and silicates. 
  It has a somewhat heavier gravity. You may feel this as 
  a “heavier than normal” feeling when on the surface, 
  which I do not recommend being on without a spell-
  jammer helm. The atmosphere is made of methane, an 
  extremely flammable gas. As such, it is dangerous to 
  most oxygen-breathing species.
  Let me interject here with a very stringent warning: DO 
  NOT CAST SPELLS OF FIRE HERE, NOR LIGHT 
  ANY SORT OF OPEN FLAME. It is imperative that 
  you understand this, Explorer. I once watched a foolish 
  crewmember attempt to light a pipe without thinking(as 
  to why he did this, knowing he had a helm on, is beyond 
  me). The resulting explosion reduced him to a myriad of 
  parts.
  Any fire-based magic or open flame will result in an ex-
  plosion causing 5D10 damage to anyone within 20 feet of 
  the center of the flame. There are no saves against this.
  Days on Ursae VII last twenty-three hours, and the tem-
  peratures range from -22 degrees Celsius to  87 degrees 
  Celsius. 
  There is one small colony of sentient life on the planet. 
  A city of twenty-three thousand Thri-Kreen, that have 
  adapted to breathe in the atmosphere, thrives here. They 
  mine the iron and silicates, and use it for all their needs. 
  The city is ruled by a military dictatorship that rules 
  with a stern, yet understanding, hand. The Thri-Kreen 
  understand spelljamming and are capable of repairing 
  spelljammers. 
  A couple more things of note:
  There are rumors among the Thri-Kreen that an artifact 
  of unknown origin is somewhere on the planet’s surface. 
  Many have attempted to find it, with no result. Others 
  have simply...vanished.
  There is a large moon that orbits Ursae VII. It is dead, 
  yet surveys have shown that it contains iron as well as 
  silicates. Was the moon once part of the planet?
   
  II. Phalguni
  Phalguni is a safe world, made mainly of water with a 
  single landmass. It is also a small world. Surveys have 
  shown there are deposits of iron, silicon, and aluminum, 
  but little else. The land, however, is rich for farming. 
  The only restriction is the atmosphere, which is the 
  equivalent to breathing from a very high altitude. Most 
  oxygen-breathers will experience difficulty breathing 
  here(-2 to all Constitution checks). The gravity here is 
  lighter as well, so do be careful when making jumps. 
  The days are fifteen hours long.
  The climate of Phalguni ranges from -145 degrees Cel-
  sius at the poles, to a balmy 31 degrees Celsius. 
  The only other note I have on this world is that no sen-
  tient life exists here, only microbes and fungi.
  III. Lou Xiu
  Lou Xiu is a different sort of world. It boasts a strong 
  source of iron, but mining is difficult if not impossible 
  due to its atmosphere, which is made of a gas that is not 
  breathable.
  Spelljammer helms or magic are required to breathe 
  in this atmosphere. Death occurs within 1d10 minutes 
  otherwise. 
  Lou Xiu also has a heavier gravity, meaning that crews 
  that stop here will feel heavier, and actions take more 
  strength than usual to complete.
  Strength checks have a +2 difficulty penalty. Bonuses to 
  attack and damage are nullified unless characters have 
  magic cast upon them(Strength spells, Bless spells, et 
  cetera), or after spending one week on the surface to 
  adjust to the denser gravity.
  Spelljammer helms are required to breathe on Lou Xiu 
  due to the prevalence of previously mentioned flammable 
  gas. The planet is rather hot as well; temperatures range 
  from 40 degrees Celsius to 50 degrees.
  There is no sentient life on Lou Xiu, but there are 
  rumors of a crashed pirate spelljammer full of treasure. 
  However, storms of an unusual(electromagnetic) nature 
  keep most treasure hunters at bay.
  IV. Humbaba
  Humbaba is a mixture of ice, water, and small landmass-
  es. It’s atmosphere is hostile to air-breathers and consists 
  of a highly flammable gas.
  Any fire-based magic or open flame will result in an ex-
  plosion causing 5D10 damage to anyone within 20 feet of 
  the center of the flame. There are no saves against this.
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  12 interesting Spelljammer planets and 4 unique crystal 
  sphere ideas.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  C. C.
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  It’s day lasts for 14 standard hours, and the climate 
  ranges from between -2 degrees Celsius to 94 degrees.
  It is a lifeless world. Surveys show that even if the at-
  mosphere were safer, that mining would not net anyone 
  much gain. 
  V. Tedo
  Tedo is a planet made mostly of ice. There are small 
  pockets of water, but the atmosphere is dangerous; a 
  spelljammer helm or the correct magics are necessary 
  for most sentients to breathe on its surface. Iron is rich 
  here, and explorers report that the world is ready for 
  those willing to take the risk to establish themselves 
  here.
  The climate matches that of its ice-covered landmasses, 
  ranging from -4 degrees Celsius to 89 degrees. 
  By far, the most interesting thing about Tedo is that 
  there is a colony of undead on its surface. They are led 
  by a lich of incredible power, who has established him-
  self as the absolute monarch. They are open to trade, 
  but the undead are erratic and have been known to kill 
  travelers just as they are known for their hospitality. 
  Trade with them at your own risk.
  VI. Uinen
  Uinen is a wonderful world, home to a race of green-
  skinned humans that call themselves Uinens. They don’t 
  have access to spelljammers, nor magic, but other than 
  that, they are just like the humans of most other worlds. 
  They export iron, mined from giant networks of tunnels 
  beneath the surface. 
  Rumor has it that the Uinens came from an ancient alien 
  civilization, and that an artifact from that civilization 
  still is on Uinen. However, the artifact is said to be pro-
  tected by a field that kills anyone trying to get near it.
  The following worlds have only been scouted, 
  which is why not much is known of them. Perhaps you 
  could add to the information and pass it to other explor-
  ers?
  VII. Indi VI
  Indi VI has a thriving multi-racial colony started by 
  spelljammer crews. It is ruled by a king, and the colony 
  is known for their hospitality, trade, and spelljammer 
  work. There is no other native life on the planet. It also 
  has two small moons, and one is said to house a pirate 
  base.
  VIII. Forseti
  Forseti is a world of harsh environments. From an 
  unbreathable atmosphere to a quarantine colony of 
  unknowns, it is not a place recommended to visit. There 
  is no communication from the colony, which is said to 
  house beings with alien illnesses, but rumor as always, 
  spreads like an illness. The colony isn’t there to keep 
  beings in, but from keeping explorers from getting in. It 
  may be an laboratory that experiments on living beings.
  IX. Volantis VI
  Volantis VI isn’t known - at all. Its moon, however, 
  houses a temple to an alien god, and is said to be full 
  of artifacts - that is, if one can navigate its traps and 
  guardians.
  X. Aman
  Aman is ruled by a despotic tyrant who is xenophobic. 
  The people of this world chafe under his rule, and des-
  perately seek ways to overthrow his rule. Spelljammer 
  crews may be able to assist, but at great risk. It is not 
  recommended to travel here.
  XI. Cassiopeiae III
  An all-female ruling caste dominates the people of 
  Cassiopeiae III. Most males are forbidden from landing 
  on this world, unless you have something they want, be it 
  trade...or other things. Note that males that are selected 
  for breeding never leave the surface again once chosen. 
  Volcanoes are a common site, and the females command 
  powerful magic to protect their cities from the volcanic 
  activity.
  XII. Andhrimnir Prime
  Andhrimnir Prime is home to a colony of sentient 
  microbes that communicate via telepathy. The ocean 
  world is said to house ruins of an ancient civilization far 
  more advanced than anything we are capable of, but the 
  depth of the ocean causes most submersible craft to be 
  crushed…
  ….then there are the sharks the size of dragons...
   
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  5 Fantasy Spaceships
  by Jason Menteroso
  menteroso@gmail.com
  Listen, my friend, for time is short. You would hear of 
  the history of travel in the ether? I know many things, 
  and would tell them all to you. But listen, listen.
  Perhaps you would hear of the grand fleets of the Elves 
  – thousand foot long pleasure barges rowed for eternity 
  by animated statues, all carved differently, all beautiful? 
  Truly they are a sight to behold.
  Would you rather I tell you of the grand warfleet of the 
  Orcs? Carved from the stony carcasses of the starwhales 
  themselves, and powered by the very aggression of the 
  ones captaining them? You will never know real terror 
  until you catch sight of one of them coming for you.
  Neither of them? Perhaps it is the Goblin princes and 
  their ships you would know about? Those ships, like 
  jagged balls of stone, sometimes covered in a thick, 
  eerily burning bramble. They say that sound is dimmed 
  to nothingness in the ether, but I would swear that the 
  howling of wolves can be heard wherever one of the Gob-
  lin ships goes. 
  No? They don’t catch your interest either? I have tales 
  of the ships of the Dwarves, then. Magnificent vessels – 
  made of the best woods and chased with the finest metals 
  and jewels, each a work of art and craft that is just 
  breathtaking to behold. Of course, to really have your 
  breath taken away, you should see them on their mining 
  expeditions. A few of those beautiful ships can complete-
  ly eviscerate a world before your very eyes. 
  Aha, Now I understand! You wish to know more histori-
  cal information! Who was the first to traverse the great 
  beyond in this newly-enlightened time. This, I can tell 
  you.
  It was the Gnomes. 
  In ages past, there were other travelers, and other races 
  out in the ether. Some of them stay there yet, waiting 
  to find new prey or to wage their endless wars amongst 
  themselves. (Once, when I thought my very sanity was 
  gone, I saw a sight that still chills me to this day. It 
  was a race unknown to me, indescribable, traversing 
  the ether in a huge stone city. At its center was a giant, 
  blasphemous temple, and at the top of that temple, a 
  giant creature that was either their god or their leader, 
  if not both. He was directing the city to some benighted 
  edge of the universe. The entire city was surrounded by a 
  sphere of water, murky and hateful.)
  But, I digress. While there were travelers before, only 
  in the last few hundred years has the technique been 
  rediscovered. 
  The first ether traveler was a Gnome called Kirkus, who 
  discovered that he could pilot a small vessel into and 
  around the ether by imbuing his pike with certain spells. 
  To this day, each of the ships built by the Gnomes, or 
  using their method will have in it a copy of Kirkus’ pike. 
  The Gnomes used the knowledge of travel through the 
  ether not to destroy or conquer, but rather to spread 
  their culture and wares throughout the universe.
  The pride of the Gnomish fleet are the turtle ships: Vast-
  ly huge, they are modeled after the common river turtle, 
  with a highly domed shell. Inside the shell itself is a 
  huge, multi-story bazaar, with all manner of merchants, 
  craftsmen, sellers, healers, and performers that you 
  could think of. Most travelers in the ether think finding 
  the turtle ships is good luck, because one can buy almost 
  anything they need on one. 
  The ship is not without weapons, either. Pirates usually 
  learn to stay away or face the consequences. 
  Of course, sometimes some miscreant would come aboard 
  with the thought  to wreak havoc or steal or murder, 
  or commit some other crime. To do so is folly, for the 
  Captain’s Law is strict and harsh, and the penalty for 
  many crimes is to be thrown into the ether without a set 
  of ether armor.
  If you can follow the rules, you can stay aboard for as 
  long as you like. They Gnomes take fares, or some folks 
  find their place in the bazaar, selling their wares or abil-
  ities to each influx of visitors. 
  ARTIFACT: Kirkus’ Pike (Also called the Captain’s 
  Pike)
  DESCRIPTION: A 3-4 rod of banded wood with 
  strange glyphs carved down the side. The spells used to 
  create such a rod are a trade secret amongst the ship-
  builders of the Gnomes. As long as the rod is fixed in 
  place within a vessel, that vessel can be controlled by 
  the one designated as the captain of the ship. (Unfortu-
  nately, High CHA/low WIS captains will find that their 
  speech becomes choppy and oddly paced when using 
  the Pike to control the ship.) The rod itself is only as 
  strong as a well-made quarterstaff. Breaking the rod will 
  render it unusable, and the ship will not be able to be 
  piloted until it is replaced. 
  ARTIFACT: Ether Armor
  DESCRIPTION: a tight-fitting suit of cloth, leath-
  er and metal, used to protect the wearer from etheric 
  emissions. A full suit includes a helmet and mask and 
  smoked-glass goggles. The armor really isn’t hardened 
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  Five or so fantasy spaceships (or fleets) (or one really 
  detailed one) [Think more Spelljammer than Traveller 
  here]
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  J. T.
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  for use in combat, and should be treated as light leather 
  armor at the most. 
  What happens when you stay out in the ether for too 
  long without a suit of armor? (roll 1d8)
  1
  1d4 damage 
  2
  Mutation: fingers turn into boneless tentacles 
  3
  Illness, 1d4 CON damage, retching and vomiting
  4
  Mutation: Skin turns into rock +2d6 HP, -2 CHA, 
  -2 DEX
  5
  Nothing!
  6
  Skin catches on fire! 1D8 damage per round until it 
  is put out
  7
  Insanity: delusions that gods from space are com-
  ing to get you. 
  8
  Skin over 1d20x5% of body becomes invisible. -4 
  CHA
  The Turtleship “Free Enterprise”
  Length: 2400 ft
  Width: 2100 ft
  Height: 1600 ft
  Weapons:
  8 Heavy Catapults (5 crew ea)
  8 Light Catapults (1 crew ea)
  16 Heavy Ballistas (4 crew ea)
  20 Light Ballistas (1 crew ea)
  The ship has the shape of a box turtle, with widely 
  splayed legs and a head on a short neck (to keep the cap-
  tain and steering crew away from the rest of the ship.) 
  The is a short tail on the back. 
  Inside the shell area are several levels, with a wide circu-
  lar walkway in the center. There are six levels of bazaar 
  and two of housing and berths. 
  The legs themselves house a small fleet of ships to move 
  cargo onto and off of the main ship.    They also house 
  most of the ship’s armaments and the entry ports any 
  visitor will pass through. 
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  Hyperspace Boneyard
  by Anonymous
  Star travel is dangerous. Over the centuries, countless 
  ships have been lost in the treacherous currents of hyper-
  space. Energy spikes and radiation flares burn out en-
  gines, fry navigation and cripple even the best armored 
  and skillfully piloted vessels. When a ship disappears, 
  it is assumed destroyed, forever erased from the material 
  plane. This, however, is not always the case. 
   
  There are eddies and backwaters hidden in the raging 
  torrents of hyperspace. Pools of calm where drifting 
  ships and debris accumulate. In these boneyards, con-
  cealed from the wider universe, new civilizations arise. 
   
  1. 
  Human Warship - Tasked with guarding a colony 
  ship carrying thousands of deep-sleeped colonists on the 
  hundred year voyage to a new home. Continually fight-
  ing to repel an onslaught of genocidal robots. Recently 
  made contact with a ship of froglike aliens who revealed 
  that the Colony ship is also adrift in this hyper-space 
  backwater but has been captured by the mutinous bug-
  crew of the Frog-Ship. An alliance has been formed to 
  recapture the colony ship. 
  2. 
  Machine-Mind - Adrift for centuries and now the 
  power core that keeps the mind alive is fading. Two pos-
  sible sources have been found for new reactors (#1 and 
  #) but pernicious organic vermin invest the host vessels 
  and mindlessly attack the servitors sent to retrieve the 
  powercore. Attempts to exterminate have been unsuc-
  cessful so far.
  3. 
  The Frog-Monstors - The frogmen got lost flee-
  ing their mortal enemies, the cat-men. The frogmen’s 
  ship was crewed by enslaved cockroachy bug-men. The 
  bug-men mutinied and fled in the ships escape pods, tak-
  ing over the colony ship drifting nearby. The frogmen 
  lack the manpower to maintain their ship by themselves 
  and are waging a desperate war to recapture their slaves. 
  The human warriors are an invaluable ally. The greedy 
  pig men and suspicious Greys are valued trading partners 
  but unreliable friends. 
  4. 
  The Cockroach invested colony ship - The 
  cockroaches are fighting a desperate war to maintain 
  their new freedom. They count themselves fortunate to 
  have found a ship stocked with such an enormous supply 
  of food (the are eating the sleeping colonists). They 
  have established an uneasy trading partnership with a 
  ship full of ant-men but the ant-men refuse to give them 
  the weapons necessary to keep up the fight for freedom. 
  Betrayal is imminent. 
  5. 
  Ant-men Hiveship - Like the Humans, the 
  ant-men are under continuous assault from the Machine 
  Mind. They trade their hiveships’ plentiful food for 
  weapons from the derelict warship of the Researchers. A
   trickle of trade is kept with the creepy cockroach men to 
  buy their non-aggression. The roaches keep demanding 
  weapons but none can be spared from the fight against 
  the Machines. 
  6. 
  The Researchers - An ancient battleship found 
  drifting in space seemed a treasure trove of historical 
  artifacts but when the archeologists attempted to nurse 
  the ship home they got lost in hyperspace. Now the re-
  searchers are desperately salvaging the ships weapons to 
  trade for food. 
  7. 
  The Greys - The Grey’s ship is badly damaged 
  and requires constant repairs and uninterrupted flow 
  of parts. Though they prefer isolation, they are forced 
  to trade with the despicable frogmen and fanatical 
  Cat-men. They pay for the tech with art they buy with 
  trinkets from the Medievals. Conquest of the midievals 
  has been contemplated but is prevented by the protection 
  of the Angels.
  8. 
  The Catmen - Religious, libertarian zealots, the 
  cat-men are hunting the blasphemous frogmen, intent 
  on exterminating the evil slavers. They buy exquisite 
  art from the Greys to enrich the otherwise institutional 
  confines of their warship. They frequently travel to the 
  floating city of the mutants to scavenge materials. They 
  sometimes encounter the pilgrimage parties of the Midi-
  evals but kill them indiscriminantly unable to tell them 
  apart from the violently insane mutants. 
  9. 
  The Artisans  live in a tower, floating in space. 
  They are very religious and produce beautiful artwork 
  which they trade for food (from the angels) and weapons 
  (axes, swords etc) from the Greys. They make regular 
  pilgrimages through a portal, to the Lost City.  Their 
  technology is repressed to a medieval level by the Angels 
  (whom they worship).
  10. 
  The Lost City - is a vast city floating in space. 
  Large parts of the city are irradiated and the streets 
  teem with violent mutants. 
  11. 
  The Olympus - The Angels have a complete 
  biosphere aboard their luxurious ship. They are respon-
  sible for repressing technological advancement of the 
  Mideivals who worship them as Gods and offer elaborate 
  artworks as offerings. 
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A solar system or a few, with some competing spacefaring fac-
  tions squabbling over something--natural resources, geograph-
  ical borders, access to the warp points, whatever. Then toss in 
  maybe a table or two of random encounters or motivations, a 
  planetary map or two, that sort of thing.
  Thanks,  
   
  A. T.
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  158
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  Shadowrun Office Building
  by AJ Fritz
  ajfritz@gmail.com
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A set of floorplans for a medium sized corporate office 
  in a shadowrun millieu with an R&D lab for magical 
  research and development.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  C.
  Main Reception
  Security
  Engineering
  Loading
  Bay
  Armory
  Conference
  Room
  Offices
  Freight
  Conference
  Room
  One-way Window Wall
  Load
  Master
  Mailroom
  Executive
  Cafeteria
  Kitchen
  VP Offices
  Library
  Executive
  Reception
  Files
  Executive
  Suite
  Executive
  Security
  Magery
  Research
  Department
  Research
  Containment
  Volatile
  Storage
  Mundane
  Storage
  Executive
  Washroom
  Freezer
  Ground Level
  Penthouse Level
  Floors in between consist of perimeter offices for managers and department heads
  with cubical farms in the interior.  
  All floors have CCTV monitoring and a local security office near the elevators
  Floors 1-3 are the Accounting and "Human" Resources departments
  Floor 4 is the Marketing department and the main Cafeteria on the west side
  Floors 5-7 -are the Records department and File Storage
  Floor 8 is Information Systems and the Off Grid Data Center
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  PLACES 
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  SPQR: Ad Astra 
  and ZH-25 Quaestor
  by Adam Thornton
  athornton@gmail.com
  athornton.dreamwidth.org
  In the world of _SPQR: Ad Astra_, the Roman Empire 
  never fell.  Imagine Classic Traveller mashed up with L. 
  Sprague De Camp’s Lest DarknessFall and you’ve got 
  it.  If you want some vaguely-plausible justification: the 
  Romans figured out how to reliably generate static
  electricity (which they probably knew anyway) and that 
  metal carried it, and then that metal carried it *really 
  fast*.  And then they strung up telegraph cables along 
  the roads, revolts got almost nowhere because the
  imperial seat learned of them instantaneously, and the 
  Roman Empire conquered the world. 
  And then, of course, it kept going.
  So now it’s a Classic Traveller setting, only the Nth 
  Imperium is in fact still the SPQR.  One interesting con-
  sequence of this mashup is that the Empire is basically 
  back to its pre-telegraph communications days:
  information does not travel faster than the spaceship.  
  The year is 3372 AUC.  The emperor is Galerius IX.
  Zoom in a bit, to a single ZH-25 Quaestor [0].  The 
  Quaestor line’s function can be derived from its name: 
  the Quaestor ships each carry a quaestor and his lictor, 
  as well as a ceremonial fasces.  Quaestors ride a circuit 
  on the frontiers of Imperial Space, stopping in at worlds
  where they perform the following functions:
    1) Administrative auditing: while each world has its 
  own governor with plenipotiary powers, the Emperor 
  requires independent verification that his representatives 
  are performing adequately.  Quaestors have the right to 
  audit anything on a provincial world, any time, with no 
  notice.
    2) Administration of justice: citizens of the senatori-
  al class accused of major crimes on provincial worlds 
  may assert their right to trial by a quaestor rather than 
  by representatives of the governor.  Such defendants 
  will typically be imprisoned until the next visit of the 
  quaestor, and their cases heard then.
    3) Tax collection: Imperial taxes are debited from the 
  provincial world’s account and credited to a secured stor-
  age device under the control of the quaestor.  The Ro-
  mans have evolved a system roughly parallel to modern 
  electronic banking; the wrinkle is that the device con-
  taining the transfer information must be delivered back 
  to Rome, which means, from a practical standpoint, it 
  can only be electronically transmitted within the Sol 
  system.  Typically a quaestor will hand off a collection 
  of tax receipts to an imperial courier at designated points 
  throughout the circuit.
    
    4) Policy distribution: a visit from a quaestor serves as 
  official communication of policy from the throne to the 
  provincial authorities. 
    5) Pickets: if serious sedition is afoot, a Quaestor and 
  its crew are authorized to return, at maximum speed, to 
  Rome, in order to provide information and recommen-
  dation to the Imperial seat.  It is of course more usual 
  to pass this information to an Imperial Courier, but of 
  course there are times when there is reason to suspect 
  that the courier may have been subverted (or may simply 
  have been eliminated, thus necessitating the Quaestor to 
  make a run for it).  If this option is exercised frivolously, 
  the quaestor’s remaining career will be short and 
  unpleasant.
  A circuit is traditionally supposed to take about a year 
  and encompass about thirty worlds.  This schedule has 
  slipped, of course, over time, and many outlying worlds 
  are lucky to see a quaestor every two years.  A single 
  quaestor is expected to serve for five to ten years: 
  between three and ten circuits, depending on 
  circumstances.
  Each Quaestor ship also carries a century of _milites_ in 
  cold storage; “Frozen Century” duty is seen as a boring, 
  although fairly safe, way to fulfill one’s military service.  
  It has the signal advantage that one only ages when 
  thawed, so a soldier may complete a twenty-five year 
  term with only perhaps seven or eight years of actual 
  age advancement.  The century is under the command 
  of a centurion (usually also kept frozen), who is in turn 
  under the command of the quaestor.
  Obviously a hundred men, give or take, are not enough 
  to put down a full-scale planetary rebellion.  They are, 
  however, enough to (and have often been used to) remove 
  corrupt governors from power.
  The 300-ton ZH-25 is a workhorse of the fleet, probably 
  the most common Quaestor ship in service.  Zeta, from 
  its position at the end of the alphabet, to indicate that 
  this ship patrols the frontier.  H for Halicarnassus, the 
  name of the first Z-1.  This is the 25th generation
  of this ship line.  Oh, by the way, yes, “25”: the empire 
  adopted a position-based numbering system shortly after 
  taking India in the 1600s AUC; Classical Roman numer-
  als are only used for pomposity and gravitas
  (e.g. Imperial titles).  This particular ship is the Baal-
  bek: it is traditional to name the circuit ships after pro-
  vincial cities of the Earthbound Roman Empire, and has 
  in the last couple centuries become traditional to give 
  them their native names (thus, “Baalbek” rather than
  “Heliopolis”).  The Baalbek has been in service about 
  80 years, making her just a little older-than-average for 
  a circuit ship.  The current generation is ZH-28.
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A deckplan for a ZH-25 Questor, named the Baalbek.
  Thanks, 
   
   
  D. S.
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  The ZH-25 is Jump-3 capable; it contains scoops and 
  a fuel purification plant allowing hydrogen skimming 
  from gas giants (important in the frontier) and water 
  skimming from Earthlike worlds.  It is heavily armored 
  (Armor 4) and fitted with primary fusion engines as well 
  as directional thrusters.  It has retractable landing skids 
  allowing the lower turret to be deployed when ground-
  side.
  It is not particularly fast (Maneuver-3) or agile (Agility 
  1), but is likely to hold together until it can make Jump 
  (Armor 4).  Its computer is adequate but unspectacular 
  (Computer-3).  The ZH-25 is streamlined and capable of 
  ground or water landings.  The cargo hold/loading ramp 
  is designed for rapid disembarkment of troops, although 
  it is much more typical to thaw out the troops in small 
  batches once groundside.
  A ZH-25 has top-and-bottom-mounted retractable tur-
  rets each armed with twin plasma cannons.  These are 
  highly effective against ground troops and reasonably 
  effective in a space battle.  The ZH-25 is not really
  intended as a warship: its primary goal in conflict is to 
  escape and return information. 
  The bridge can be sealed in case of emergency, and 
  contains eight acceleration couches, one for each crew 
  member, as well as a single-person airlock opening 
  through a ceiling hatch.
  ======Legend for Deckplan===
  M: 
  Maneuver Drive
  J: 
  Jump Drive
  PP: 
  Power Plant
  F:  
  Fuel Storage
  FC: 
  Frozen Century
  T:  
  Turrets (2, retractable)
  MD: 
  Medical bay
  ST: 
  Storage
  CG:      Cargo Hold/loading 
   
  ramp
  Q: 
  Quaestor’s apartments
  L:   
  Lictor’s stateroom
  FP:  
  Fuel Purification
  G:   
  Galley
  H:   
  Hygiene module
  RA:  
  Recreation Area
  CB:  
  Crew Cabins (4)
  B:   
  Bridge
   
  [0] “Questor” is a variant 
  spelling often seen in the 
  provinces.
  Most planetary visits, of course, are entirely routine, and 
  the troop cohort does not require thawing at all.  The 
  usual course of action is for the quaestor to land, per-
  form perfunctory auditing and collect some relatively 
  minor bribes, hear a handful of cases, distribute the 
  current year’s tax collection goals, collect the previous 
  year’s taxes (often with some cock-and-bull story about 
  why the goal was not met), and depart.
  ======Mechanical Details======
  USP Code: ZH-3133331-400000-0400000-0    
  MCr 375.135
  TL: 
   
  12                     (includes 10% discount for
  Agility: 
  1                         standard design)
  Passengers: 
  2                          300 tons
  Low: 
   
  100
  Cargo:  
  10
  Fuel: 
   
  99
  EP: 
   
  9
  Crew:  
  8 (Pilot, Engineer, Navigator, Medic, 
  Gunner x 2, Steward, Cook/Aide-de-camp/Factotum)
  Built with Traveller Book 2, _Starships_  (1981 revision) 
  and Traveller Book 5, _High Guard_ (1980 revision)
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  PLACES 
  SPQR: Ad Astra  and ZH-25 Quaestor by Adam Thornton
  
  162
  162
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  The Old Library
  by Simon Forster
  mrsforster@gmail.com
  www.theskyfullofdust.co.uk
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  The map/layout of an old but still in operation University 
  Library that is riddled with role playing opportunities, 
  secrets, and perhaps a puzzle to gain access to the Ultra top 
  secret Archives beneath the library.
  Thanks,  
   
  F. T.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  PLACES 
  The Old Library by Simon Forster
  
  163
  163
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Wizard-Filled 
  Storm Giant’s Skull
  by James Young
  http://tenfootpolemic.blogspot.com.au/
  When the storm giant Byleist was destroyed his body was 
  torn asunder and flung to the four winds. What hap-
  pened to the rest of his body none can say, but what we 
  do know is that his head flew thousands of miles across 
  the seas and landed on the  wizard academy.
  All in all, it was poor timing for a staff meeting.
  Now the students fly around in the giant’s skull and they 
  are massively entitled little shits about it. 
  The skull of a storm giant naturally enhances light-
  ning magic to terrifying levels. The students have put 
  this fact to good use by creating an extending tongue of 
  lightning with which to make mocking faces at their par-
  ents. It’s also good for grabbing people, wracking them 
  with incredible pain, and pulling them into the skull’s 
  mouth where they are crushed between the giant’s great, 
  gnashing, tombstone-sized teeth.
  The skull is even bigger on the inside than the outside 
  and is kept filled with chicks, booze and treasure and has 
  developed a great reputation as the best place to party or 
  run away from your loser parents. The skull only ever 
  lands when they need more chicks or booze or snacks. 
  If chicks ever get boring they just cast Feather Fall on 
  them and push them off the side. Generally they land 
  in a river or mud patch an hour’s walk from town, the 
  students jeering nearby on the skull until they get bored 
  and fly away.
  They keep the party going by floating above farms and 
  towns, bringing torrential rain and destructive storms, 
  vandalising property and telekinetically ringing people’s 
  doorbells. They squat in the sky until people give them 
  enough gold, snacks and booze to make them go away 
  again, at which point they move onto the next town and 
  repeat the trick.
  They sometimes paint up huge boulders and put them in 
  the eye sockets for a laugh. Trouble is they sometimes 
  “accidentally” fall out when they’re over childhood 
  bullies’ houses or castles or armies that try to stop the 
  skull’s reign of petty and malicious terror.
  The worst part is that the students are both smart and 
  uninhibited, drunk on power and booze. Plus they stole 
  all of their school’s spellbooks so they’re always trying 
  new spells and using them on people for a laugh. Many 
  party-poopers have tried and failed to stop the party al-
  ready so anybody who tries to take them down had better 
  have a real good plan. 
  Absolutely everyone they’ve visited wants them stopped. 
  A hefty reward for the capture of the skull and arrest/
  murder of the students within is offered, but none who 
  have taken up the offer have succeeded and few have 
  survived. 
  Tactical considerations and notable facts
  ∆     The students are overconfident and rowdy and have 
  survived enough attacks to think they’re indestructible.
  ∆     The skull has to land whenever the students take on 
  more supplies (the students are really wary when they 
  land though, some of them even dial back the drinking 
  for a while just in case). They never get off the skull 
  since they get their Unseen Servants to do all the heavy 
  lifting.
  ∆     The students are lax regarding the chicks they bring 
  on board, they used to be more careful but they’ve never 
  had a problem and they’ve found some really creative 
  uses for Suggestion and Alter Self.
  ∆     The biggest parties are held whenever they bring on 
  more supplies, that’s when they’ll be least wary.
  ∆     There’s this one swotty kid inside the skull’s who 
  been goes through all the spellbooks to find the best 
  ones to give to his pals. His name is Melvin and he 
  sounds like professor frink. Thing is the others used 
  to bully him and he’s got reservations about the whole 
  “flying around killing people and stealing their stuff” 
  thing. He’d be easy to get on side and knows a lot of 
  information. 
  ∆     Similarly, do something to all the spellbooks and 
  the students will run out of spells to cast.
  ∆     Though the skull is itself a giant spell component 
  for lightning and weather magic the students are run-
  ning low on materials for other spells.
  Stats:
  The Skull
  MV 240’ (80’) (fly), AC 22/-1, HD 10, #ATK 1, 
  DMG 2d10+special, SV n/a ML n/a 
  Special: On an evens hit the target is grabbed by the 
  skull’s whiplike lightning tongue. The victim can be 
  drawn towards the skull’s giant gnashing teeth in one 
  round. The tongue automatically hits against a grabbed 
  target and being chomped by the skull is a Save vs 
  Death. 
  The skull on its own is practically impregnable and gen-
  erally steered by a wizard standing on top. If it’s raining 
  they sit in an eye socket. The skull is naturally buoyant 
  (how else does a giant stay up?) and without a pilot will 
  drift with the wind.
  The lightning tongue is directed by the pilot who might 
  use it for more than just grabbing people and feeding 
  them to the skull. Throwing stuff at people, throwing 
  people at people, throwing people at stuff, holding peo-
  ple in front of the skull so that other wizards can throw 
  curses at them, whatever sounds fun!
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  stats for a flying Storm Giant skull filled with wizards. They 
  can shoot lightning bolts, drop boulders, and transport shock 
  troops. I’d also like several drawings of the Storm Giant skull 
  in action. Maybe several busty sorceresses in the eyesockets 
  commanding the skull.
  Alternately, I would love stats for a Storm Giant or Cloud 
  Giant demi-lich. The skull hovers around in volcanoes and deep 
  abysses. 
  Thanks,  
   
   
  B. D.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  Wizard-Filled  Storm Giant’s Skull by James Young
  
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  164
  164
  Wizards
  MV 120’ (40’), AC 12/9, HD 2-4, #ATK 1, DMG 1d4, SV variable ML 11 
  There are 20 students and they range in level from 3-7. They specialise in lightning magic and also use anything 
  that looks cool and/or useful for pranks. 
  The storm giant’s skull amplifies lightning magic and so any lightning-based spells (Shocking Grasp, Lightning 
  Bolt, etc) cast while on or touching the skull are cast as if the caster was two levels higher.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  Wizard-Filled  Storm Giant’s Skull by James Young
  
  165
  165
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Haunted Swampland 
  Random Encounter Table
  by David Brawley
  davidbrawley@gmail.com
  http://towerofthearchmage.blogspot.com/
  2d10
  Result
  2
  Swamp Witch
  3
  Magic Mushrooms/Faeries
  4
  Hydra
  5
  Bog Mummy
  6
  Leeches, Giant
  7
  Shambling Mound
  8
  Bullywug Hunting Party
  9
  Snake Cult Revivalist 
  10
  Burning Water
  11
  Bandits/Cannibals
  12
  Bog Children
  13
  Sensory Event
  14
  Crocodile (roll 1d8 – 1-5 Normal, 6-7 Large, 8 
  Ghost)
  15
  Giant Snake
  16
  Bog Hole (50% chance with Giant Leeches)
  17
  Boat Traders
  18
  Chaos Tar
  19
  Les Stroud
  20
  Hag’s Hovel
  Notes:
  2. Swamp Witch (Wizard 7) – out gathering ingredients 
  in the swamp
  3. Faeries will attempt to warn parties away from dan-
  ger/into danger 50% http://towerofthearchmage.blog-
  spot.com/2010/01/magic-mushrooms.html
  5. Pre-revivalist cultists who were killed by snakebite 
  and dumped in the swamp have returned to exact their 
  revenge.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bog_body 
  7. The bones of previous victims are embedded in it’s 
  body
  8. 1 in 6 chance that the group is accompanied by a Big 
  Mama (Cleric 3)
  9. Very friendly, very over the top. http://en.wikipedia.
  org/wiki/Snake_handling all cultists will carry at least 
  1 snake.
  10. Areas of swamp gas. 50% already burning. Will com-
  bust if a flame is brought into the area. 
  11. Travel via flat boats with giant hand cranked fan. 
  Base 2 crankers - speed 30’/round + 10’ per extra cranker 
  up to 60’ round.
  12. Treat as zombies with AC 6 that cause fear
  13. Screams in the distance, glowing eyes in the dark, 
  ghostly mist figures that disappear, Smell of the grave, 
  etc.. 
  14. “Ghost” is a giant albino croc
  16. Treat as quicksand
  17. Hicks that travel in from the edges of the swamp to 
  trade. Very interested in poisons, bullywug bladders, 
  RoUS tails (make great belts), and bottled chaos tar.
  18. This foul corrupting substance is highly charged 
  with primordial magic. It warps all that comes into con-
  tact with it. Most things die (save vs poison) those that 
  survive become tainted by it. Arcane spell casters who 
  survive contact gain an extra spell slot of their current 
  highest-level spell in addition to whatever corruption 
  they receive. Multiple encounters will add spell slots 
  of decreasing levels. I recommend the DCC corruption 
  chart (page 98 of the free beta rules) or the mutation 
  rules from Mutant Future.
  19. This crazy ranger is exploring the swamp, learning 
  how to survive, and recording his exploits in a journal 
  for later publication. Will often be heard playing a 
  mouth harp off in the distance. http://en.wikipedia.org/
  wiki/Les_Stroud
  20. The Swamp Hag built her home upon the back of a 
  giant snapping turtle that grew to huge size after swim-
  ming into chaos tar. There is a 50% chance the hag is 
  home. 
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  a random encounters table that has cool, creepy, bizarre things 
  that can occur or be stumbled upon in a haunted swampland. 
  The terrain could be infested with magical beasts, undead 
  knights, cults, pockets of magic bubbling to the surface or 
  whatever strikes your fancy. 
  Genre is medieval fantasy with western/southern bayou influ-
  ence.
  Thanks so much!  
   
  J. L.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  Haunted Swampland  Random Encounter Table by David Brawley
  
  166
  166
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  The Burning Emporium
  by Duncan
  shizzam.and.hazza@gmail.com
  A new shop has opened up in town! What do they sell? 
  No one knows! They brew tea and hand it out for free 
  though! Also, its made entirely of flames! And yes, it is 
  perfectly safe…
  The Burning Emporium doesn’t sell anything. It is the 
  vanity project of a middling wizard who has carved a 
  space within the Plane of Elemental Flame. He uses 
  spells to keep the space open and safe for mere hu-
  manoids and to keep the portal open to the door on an 
  unassuming alley.
  The PCs are given a royal welcome by the wizard. treat-
  ed to tea and biscuits and networking. As time goes by 
  the heat gradually builds and the PCs begin to notice… 
  There is a pounding noise in the background. It begins 
  sounding very far off and but soon it sounds to be direct-
  ly overhead. With a very loud bang, the heat suddenly 
  increases to scorching, and a Fire Elemental bursts 
  through the ceiling. The wizard shrieks and teleports 
  away.
  The Elemental is angered by the intrusion of the shop 
  and presumptuous wizard on its home. If the PCs at-
  tempt to fight it, use your favorite flavour of fire elemen-
  tal. They can also bargain with it. It will grant their 
  freedom in exchange for the charred head of the wizard 
  and 30 rubies worth more than 300gp each. It will give 
  the PCs a month to complete the task, and may or may 
  not mention that the wizard must have been killed with 
  fire. 
  If the PCs try to leave before the pounding begins they 
  will have no trouble doing so; however, if they try after-
  wards the door is jammed.
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A small scenario or encounter based in the “outer 
  planes”. Inspired by the AD&D planar cosmology but 
  not slavish to it (it needs to be Open Content, right?). 
  Go crazy! 
   
   
   
  D. M.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  The Burning Emporium by Duncan
  
  167
  167
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  1
  A pack of wolves have come down out of the 
  mountains and moved into the area outside of 
  town. They have been seen feasting upon the 
  precious livestock and even attacked a small child! 
  Track down the wolves and discern why they have 
  left their mountain lair. 
  2
  A local merchant is offering good money to 
  anyone brave enough to root out a band of ko-
  bolds that have been attacking caravans along the 
  trade road. However, he tells you that the kobold 
  attacks seem to be unusually organized and tar-
  geted. He warns that they may be acting under a 
  much more dangerous threat. 
  3
  Little Timmy fell down the well! While down 
  there he found a hidden passage way into a series 
  of underground tunnels and now is lost! Find 
  Timmy and bring him back to safety before he is 
  consumed by the underground denizens. 
  4
  A priest from a local temple needs your help to 
  dispatch an entire family of Rocs that have taken 
  up residence on the top of a tall rock formation 
  that holds a sacred circle of prayer. Beneath the 
  giant nest the adventurers find no a place for 
  prayer but a ritual circle for teleportation. 
  5
  A bunch of thugs have been shaking down the 
  local citizens. No one wants to talk about it but 
  there seems to be a corrupt money taking organi-
  zation putting the squeeze on the town. Take the 
  players into the ‘off limits’ back rooms of a local 
  tavern to investigate this crime syndicate. When 
  they finally meet the man behind the operation, 
  they may be surprised that the man behind the 
  scenes isn’t exactly a man at all.
  6
  A new temple has come into operation in the 
  town. Strangely, you see people often enter the 
  temple but not return for days. The blacksmith 
  comes to you and says his two sons have been 
  missing for a few days, after recently visiting the 
  temple. Upon investigating the adventurers learn 
  that the high priest lives deep below the temple in 
  a hot and arid cave. He is using his divine powers 
  to transfer the minds of follower into scorpions 
  which secretly leave the temple, sting nearby 
  townsfolk drawing them against their will into 
  the temple.  
  7
  The tavern attic is infested with bats! Howev-
  er these aren’t bats, they are were-bats a whole 
  family who have made a home here, sucking blood 
  and turning others into desiccated corpses is just 
  an accident. 
  8
  A well known and loved bard has come to town. 
  He specializes in drinking songs making his 
  performances a true hoot of overwhelming drunk-
  enness and debauchery. However, several citizens 
  have woken the next morning complaining of 
  missing money and precious items! The bard uses 
  planted actors during his shows to act intoxicated 
  and steal from the audience. 
  9
  The prince has been kidnapped by goblins! Track 
  down the goblins to their tree fort and negotiate 
  a truce between them and the civilized land. The 
  king offers a hefty ransom to ensure the princes 
  safe return. However, things take a strange turn 
  when the prince falls in love with a goblin prin-
  cess and decides to take his father’s money and 
  stay. 
  10
  Fungus has sprouted all over town and is infecting 
  everything with its toxic spores! The fungus is 
  party of a gigantic semi-sentient mutated forest 
  sponge that has started consuming the minds of 
  creatures to gather intelligence. 
  11
  A Kobold tinkerer and trap maker comes to town 
  regularly selling wares and offering local news. 
  The townspeople have become fond of him and his 
  prices are unbeatably low. However, on his reg-
  ular trade day he doesn’t show up, and has been 
  missing for weeks! The time anyone talked to him 
  he was going on and on about earning the ‘biggest 
  shiny ever’. 
  12
  Ghosts in the Graveyard! There have been com-
  plaints that the dead have been restless, calling 
  out to the living and haunting the town’s ancient 
  grave sites. Strange occurrences are common 
  around the black aged gravestones, which is why 
  a Silence spell was put on the plots long ago, to 
  quiet the night. However, not only have the ghost 
  been stirring but their bodies have been found 
  wandering about!  Investigate the silent graveyard 
  and stop the necromantic apprentice, if he can be 
  reasoned with that is. 
  13
  A local barmaid has mysteriously run off! It hap-
  pened during a shift at the Feisty Weasel Tavern 
  when she cried out in terror and bolted for the 
  hills. Talk says they saw her sprout tentacles as 
  she left. 
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  I ain’t fightin’ @#$% rats again! A d12 table of first 
  level adventure hooks that don’t involve clearing ver-
  min out of the tavern’s basement. d20 if you’re feeling 
  nice. d100 if you’re just showboating.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  K. W.
   
  I ain’t fightin’ 
  @#$% rats again!
  by Frank Tedeschi
  fatedesc@gmail.com
  http://DnDIY.wordpress.com
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  I ain’t fightin’  @#$% rats again! by Frank Tedeschi
  
  168
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  14
  Rumor has it a troll has knocked out a nearby 
  bridge. When the characters go to investigate 
  they find the bridge gone, with river overflowing 
  because the corpse of a gigantic troll has dammed 
  up the river. Searching the troll reveals that he 
  hasn’t eaten for some time and looks as it has 
  had been in a great struggle with many grievous 
  wounds. Not too far from there a lies the trolls 
  cave that appears to have a new nasty draconic 
  inhabitant. 
  15
  The devil is in the Details! A large merchant ves-
  sel named Dirty Detail has recently returned from 
  a long explorative expedition. However when 
  it docked, all its crew all be fell foul accidents. 
  Now no one will board the ship, fearing that it is 
  cursed. Clear out the devils that they merchants 
  unwittingly brought forth and banish them back 
  to their hellish homes. 
  16
  A very rich man has moved into town. Bought lots 
  of property and businesses. He has class, manners, 
  and unbelievable charm. That is when all of the 
  young women start disappearing. Confront the 
  Vampire lord about the missing women and dis-
  cover his true secret, he hunted the young women 
  because they are all changeling assassins sent to 
  execute a gruesome murder, but who is the target? 
  17
  The sky is falling! Actually, it is a meteor that 
  strikes outside of town creating a massive tunnel 
  into the earth.  The area around the meteor starts 
  to tear itself apart as something clearly drives all 
  living things mad. The meteor has torn the fabric 
  of the plain and part of a nether realm has begun 
  to leak through. Find a powerful mage, rations, 
  and a priest, and then delve into the earth to erad-
  icate threats and close the gate before something 
  truly dangerous comes through.
  18
  A half-dragon man as proclaimed himself the true 
  king of the nation and has raised an army to prove 
  his claim. He believes that his people held the 
  original empire over this land and were betrayed 
  by the race of man. It is rumored that the skull of 
  a dragon hangs over the royal bed, perhaps there 
  is some truth to his right. Find out if his claims 
  are true and either help him claim the throne or 
  protect the current royalty from this threat. 
  19
  The local council members have a quest for you 
  but will not tell you what is involved, until you 
  agree. They say it is of the gravest importance and 
  a great secret that could either spell disaster for 
  the town, or a great fortune. Once the characters 
  agree they are handed the Egg of a white dragon 
  and are instructed to protect it from all threats, 
  seek out the dragon and return its offspring. 
  20
  A band of Centaurs have gone rogue! They have 
  started pillaging and raiding without any cause 
  or shame. Contact their village and find out what 
  you can about the bandits, and stop them before 
  they do more harm. When they finally catch 
  up with the centaurs they reveal that they were 
  instructed to act this way by their leader, or suffer 
  the consequence of exile. 
  Completely random items characters might 
  find on their first adventure
  1
  A one use torch that burns any color they choose.
  2
  A flask carved from the horn of a demon and 
  inlaid with the feathers from an angel. 
  3
  Quiver of (6) arrows enchanted to seek out reptili-
  an creatures.
  4
  Lazy Boots that give a bonus to save from falling, 
  being pushed or pulled, but slow the wearer down.
  5
  A candle that when it burns causes the holders to 
  appear like a ghost. 
  6
  A dagger with a blade as black as boiling pitch 
  that can’t be seen at night.
  7
  Seeds to grow a tree that will attract Treants to 
  herd it. 
  8
  A royal scepter with the inscription “Lord Eldred 
  Alemont, The Chaste” 
  9
  An all iron chest with no hinges or seams, but 
  clearly holds something within. 
  10
  A ring made out of a solid organic material that 
  allows the bearer to hear one random thought 
  from a nearby person a day.
  11
   A sack full of weapons used by fairies. 
  12
  Three acorns that transform instantly into canoes 
  when placed in water or large trees when placed 
  into the earth. 
  13
  An unbelievably realistic fake wizard’s beard that 
  invokes confidence both from the observers. 
  14
  A two-headed snake made of bone that understands 
  common.
  15
  A golden book 4 feet tall and weighs 600 lbs 
  detailing the rise and fall of the first clan of dark 
  and immoral Duergar. 
  16
  A small quarter barrel that can only carry a nor-
  mal volume but always appears to be empty. 
  17
  A monocle that allows the wearer to see washed 
  away blood stains.
  18
  A flesh eating potted plant that stalks its prey. 
  19
  A master level War-Spoon made of sterling silver 
  with bone inlays, one of three in existence used in 
  conjunction with the ancient art of Spoon-do.
  20
  The horn of a Minotaur carved with summoning 
  runes that will call an evil berserk Minotaur when 
  blown. However it will only work a single time.  
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  I ain’t fightin’  @#$% rats again! by Frank Tedeschi
  
  169
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  The Serendipitous Seed Society
  a gardening society 
  with a devillish twist
  by Gianni
  giannieanna@yahoo.com
  http://csachticz.blogspot.com
  Notes:
  1- The following contribution is as sytem neutral and 
  statless as possible, so as to be enjoyed in a variety of 
  settings.
  2- The Serendipitous Seed Society is a secret society 
  designed for a mostly human, early modern, low-magic 
  world, in which Elves and, more generally, woodland 
  beings, are seen as a distant or even legendary menace to 
  humanity. With some adaptation work, the Serendipitous 
  Seed Society could probably be adapted to Glorantha or 
  to other fantasy (or even sci-fi) settings where Elves are 
  not necessarily friendly to mankind.
  For hundreds of years, woods and forests have been 
  cleared out to make way for more and more populous 
  humans. Elves, Dryads, and other woodland or faerie 
  creatures are the stuff of legend now, and on the brink 
  of extinction. They survive only in the remotest corners 
  of the darkest forests, and they shun humanity. Some 
  Elves, however, have decided that it is high time the tide 
  should turn, and they have created a secret society with 
  the aim of reversing deforestation by spreading a very 
  special kind of magical seeds called serendipitous seeds.
  The serendipitous seeds are obtained by the union of 
  a male Elf with a Dryad. The resulting seedling [or 
  sapling, or baby elf, or whatever it is that Elves beget 
  in your campaign world] is covered with a shroud made 
  of a single leaf of every plant in the forest, and blessed 
  by a name/rune/epic level priest of the principal sylvan 
  deity of the campaign world. After a month of careful 
  tending, the shrivelled shroud is removed, revealing a 
  one-inch oval seed.
  The members of the Serendipitous Seed Society have a 
  network of sympathetic humans in the wide world. These 
  human agents could be victims of charm/glamour, or 
  they could be changelings, or they could be low-status 
  humans enticed by the promise of future riches, or they 
  could be lunatics revelling in the idea of a vegetal apoc-
  alypse.
  Each of these human agents is given a magical seed. If 
  the agent is a cook, or a butler, the seed is to be cooked 
  and served, or boiled and filtered, or roasted and grated 
  (you get the idea) and served to a human dignitary the 
  agent has access to. Alternatively, if the agent is a gar-
  dener, the seed is to be planted in a vase in the bedcham-
  ber of the dignitary.
  On the night of the vernal equinox, the seed suddenly 
  germinates. If the seed has been ingested, it tries to 
  attack from within. If the seed is in a piece of pottery, it 
  grows vicious tendrils that attack the victim.
  The victim is allowed a saving/resistance roll. The 
  saving/resistance roll is based on Poison/Constitution for 
  the ‘internal’ type of attack, and on Paralysis/Dexterity 
  for the ‘external’ type of attack. There is a strong malus 
  to the saving/resistance roll: for classic fantasy-type of 
  games, the target saves at -4;  for Monsters & Magic, it 
  is a Difficult resistance check; for Tunnels & Trolls, it is 
  a L4 SR; for BRP/D100-based games, it is a Difficult ac-
  tion, or a roll with a malus of -4 on the resistance table.
  If the save is successful, and in the case of an ‘internal’ 
  attack, the seed hasn’t germinated correctly, the host 
  doesn’t suffer any harmful effects, and he or she hasn’t 
  even noticed anything. If the save is successful, and 
  in the case of an ‘external’ attack, the tendrils simply 
  haven’t enough strength. The victim may or may not 
  remember that something strange has happened during 
  the night. If someone is present in the bedchamber, they 
  do notice the failed attack.
  If the save fails, and this being an Old School contribu-
  tion, you roll on the table below:
  1D100
  01-
  10
  The seed has migrated to / the tendrils have 
  attached to the skull of the victim. The germi-
  nated seed starts devouring his or her brain at 
  the rate of 1D4 Intelligence points per round. 
  The only way to get rid of the germinated seed 
  is (a) to inflict 10 hit points of damage to the 
  skull, which should alas also kill the host, or (b) 
  to apply some plant-killing magic to the host’s 
  head. Once the victim’s Intelligence has been 
  reduced to 0, he or she becomes a vegetal zombie 
  controlled by the name/rune/epic level priest 
  who blessed the seedling.
  11-
  40
  The seed has migrated to / the tendrils have 
  attached to the throat of the victim. The victim 
  immediately sprouts a sickly green goitre, in 
  which the parasitic plant will reside. From now 
  on, the name/rune/epic level priest who blessed 
  the seedling will control the vocal cords of the 
  victim, including any spell-casting abilities he or 
  she possesses. The priest can try and wreak hav-
  oc by having the dignitary utter offensive words 
  at an important opportunity (a royal marriage, a 
  diplomatic meeting…) or by casting an offensive 
  spell, again at an important opportunity. The 
  goitre cannot be removed without also killing 
  the host, except through the use of plant-killing 
  magic.
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A secret society, with some devilish plans.
  Thanks, 
   
   
  R. S.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  The Serendipitous Seed Society a gardening society  with a devillish twist by Gianni
  
  170
  170
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  41-
  60
  The seed has migrated to / the tendrils have 
  attached to the chest of the victim. The victim 
  immediately sprouts a vegetal arm from his or 
  her chest whilst the rest of the plant withers and 
  dies. The extra arm has the same amount of hit 
  points as the victim. Any damage inflicted to 
  the arm is also inflicted upon the host -- with 
  the sole exception of plant-killing magic. The 
  vegetal extra arm is controlled by the name/
  rune/epic level priest who blessed the seedling. 
  The priest will try to wreak havoc by using the 
  third arm to kill a companion of the dignitary 
  whilst apportioning blame to the host. If the 
  victim is isolated, the arm can try and strangle 
  its host; the Strength of the arm is the same as 
  the Strength of the victim.
  61-
  90
  The seed has migrated to / the tendrils have at-
  tached to the abdomen of the victim. The victim 
  will defecate the seed of a yellow musk creeper 
  (q.v.) once a month.
  91-
  95
  The seed has migrated to / the tendrils have 
  attached to the groin of the victim. The victim 
  (even if it is a female) immediately sprouts a 
  vegetal penis from his or her groin whilst the 
  rest of the plant withers and dies. The vegetal 
  penis has the same amount of hit points as the 
  victim. Any damage inflicted to the penis is also 
  inflicted upon the host -- with the sole exception 
  of plant-killing magic. The vegetal penis is ever 
  swollen and painful to the victim. If the victim 
  is a male, his ‘other’ penis goes limp. The only 
  time when the vegetal penis does not hurt is 
  when the victim has intercourse; in this instance, 
  on the contrary, the victim experiences extreme 
  sexual pleasure. In short time, this should drive 
  the dignitary to a dissolute life devoted to sex, 
  which in itself should already cause trouble if, 
  for instance, the victim is a high level cleric. On 
  top of this peculiar ailment, the victim will im-
  pregnate his or her sexual partners. The babies 
  born from these unions will be fully controlled 
  by the name/rune/epic level priest who bless-
  ed the seedling, and will obviously be used as 
  agents of the Serendipitous Seed Society.
  96-
  00
  Vegetal explosion! The seed germinates in a 
  huge, chaotic expanse of thorns and brambles, 
  Sleeping Beauty-style, that kill the dignitary 
  and that effectively render the mansion of the 
  dignitary completely secluded from the rest of 
  the world.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  The Serendipitous Seed Society a gardening society  with a devillish twist by Gianni
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  The Golden Cricket
  By Jacob
  pandesmos@gmail.com
  swordfishislands.blogspot.com
  Backstory Flavor
  Once upon a time there was a thief named Marceline. 
  She was young, beautiful and quick of mind, body and 
  tongue. Her exploits are many, and best told another 
  time, but never forget that it was Marceline the thief 
  who stole the Holy Brand of Malthus from Redwater 
  Monastery, recovered the Stones of Kismet from the 
  belly of the gorgon Josira, broke the Florian Cartel’s 
  Stranglehold of Greenport, and was rumored to be the 
  actual founder the Half-Moon Bread bakeries.
  After retiring from a life of crawling through dark places 
  in the world she set up shop somewhere in the mountains 
  outside the capitol city, and with the aid of her gang The 
  Quick Thirty, made the highways and byways pricy and 
  uncomfortable for people with coin. Over time people 
  started calling her Queen Marceline of the King’s road. 
  But this was all more than 200 years ago and probably 
  not what you’ve paid me for. Or so you’d think. You see, 
  at some point ole Marceline got her hands on a wish. 
  Some say it were a fairy that did it, others say it were the 
  ghost of old Malthus himself what blessed her, but any 
  way you cut it, she got that wish and used it to wish for 
  eternal life. 
  Shame of it though was that she forgot to ask for eter-
  nal youth too. Even though her grip on the gold of the 
  wealthy stayed tight, her body went the way all ours go 
  eventually, sagging’ ‘n wrinkling ‘n withering to frailty, 
  but Queen Marceline couldn’t die. Over time she grew 
  so small and so frail that she turned into a cricket. But 
  that didn’t stop her, or even slow her down. It’s said she 
  struck a deal with Fate herself ‘cause there are objects on 
  this world Fate wants but can’t get at. Objects that need 
  to be stolen. So Queen Marceline started up an organi-
  zation that could help Fate get what she wanted and it 
  runs, in the shadows, to this day.
  Fate’s Demand
  Yes, Marceline is really a cricket. And yes, Fate promised 
  her her youth if she could acquire a number of items, but 
  the goddess had one demand: Marceline must be assisted 
  in running her guild by three women in different stages 
  of their life. The Virgin, The Mother, and The Crone. 
  Only the best are selected to fill each role and as a wom-
  an transitions from one life phase to the next, she is not 
  guaranteed the next position of leadership regardless of 
  how well she did previously. If the stars align and the 
  three positions are held by a blood line (mother (Crone), 
  daughter (Mother) and granddaughter (Virgin)), Fate 
  smiles upon the guild and their heists never fail, but this 
  has only happened twice in the guild’s history.
  Of the Virgin, Fate requires the candidate is a virgin and 
  can menstruate. Of the Mother, Fate requires the candi-
  date has at least one child in her care, of her blood, that 
  has not yet “come of age”. Of the Crone, Fate requires 
  the candidate to be older than 70. When a woman no 
  longer meets these requirements Fate notifies both 
  Marceline and the woman. Most of the leaders transition 
  out of their roles willingly and with celebration, remain-
  ing respected members of the organization and hopeful 
  they will be called to serve again.
  Marceline has her own requirements of aptitude for each 
  leadership candidate that change with the times and 
  current needs of the guild, but one always remains the 
  same: The Files.
  The Files
  To be considered for one of the three leadership roles 
  in the guild each woman must commit at least twelve 
  crimes of sufficient notoriety that remain unsolved or 
  unsolvable. They must then provide Marceline with 
  proof and a signed confession for each. These crimes are 
  conducted outside the guild’s normal pursuits and each 
  woman knows they will be given to the authorities if it 
  becomes necessary to protect the guild and brand them 
  as an unaffiliated thief. When a woman transitions out 
  of a leadership role, her file is publicly burned before all 
  the guild and her full member protections are restored. 
  Thus, to be considered for another role, fresh crimes 
  will need to be committed.
  Structure
  The guild itself has no official name, but a small cricket 
  made of gold is left at the site of any major heists causing 
  many among the authorities to call them “The Golden 
  Cricket”. Rank and file members of the guild collective-
  ly refer to one another as “The Rabble”, have no fixed 
  hierarchy and focus exclusively on the skills and results 
  a person brings and not their skin, creed or the parts be-
  tween their legs. The fixed nature of the leadership roles 
  and other initiatives skews female membership higher 
  than other thieves guilds (making it a rough 50/50), but 
  this is only a side effect and has never been a goal.
  For low level jobs, individuals or small groups of people 
  (1-4) from the Rabble are tapped on a job by job basis. 
  For mid and high level jobs the leaders create gangs of 
  12, trusted, members that last only as long as the job. 
  Marceline, with connections developed over hundreds of 
  years, keeps the guild flush with work and at any given 
  time each leader will be overseeing 1 to 3 gangs of 12. 
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  Five to nine (or more?!) paragraphs detailing the infrastructure and operation of 
  a Thieves’ Guild that is controlled by a trio of women at least one of which is a 
  widow with children whose family knows nothing of her job outside of the home. 
  You are encouraged to explore all of the details and devise details to your heart’s 
  content, but it is important that the women leading the Thieves’ Guild be regarded 
  in their daily lives as unassuming and nonthreatening women whom nobody would 
  ever suspect of being the masterminds of a nefarious underground organization.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
   
  P. D.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  The Golden Cricket By Jacob
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  While it would be avoided at all costs, the guild has the 
  coin and connections to field a small army of 400-600 
  thieves and mercenaries in as little as three days. Be-
  cause a reveal of this scope would necessitate the guild 
  going dark for at least a generation (and probably relo-
  cating) it has never been attempted.
  Services and Specialties
  Acquisitions - Specifically goods and information. Kid-
  nappings for ransom are avoided and human or human-
  oid slave trafficking is expressly forbidden.
  Poison - Specifically those dealing with sleep and paral-
  ysis.
  Setups - When they’re done with the target the city 
  guards will have thought they did all the work and pat 
  themselves on the back for catching such a criminal.
  Neutral Ground - The guild operates a number of safe 
  houses and havens where the rival parties of other guilds 
  and groups that operate outside of society can meet to 
  discuss their differences, come to terms or deliver ulti-
  matums. By remaining neutral and providing top notch 
  locations and security, Marceline’s guild has made quite 
  a bit of their coin and connections this way.
  Half-Moon Bread - Before aging to the point of be-
  coming a cricket, Marceline set up a number of bakeries 
  called “Half-Moon Bread” in every medium and large 
  city in the land. She had always thought it would be fun 
  to run a legitimate business and greatly enjoyed baking 
  herself, favoring cinnamon rolls and turnovers. Al-
  though the bakeries were started with “ill-gotten gains” 
  they operate completely on the up-n-up (no money 
  laundering or funny business!). The bakeries actively 
  feed the hungry and forgotten for free, and their open 
  charity with the poor has created inroads into a number 
  of religious organizations. Upper class citizens shun the 
  bakeries because of how welcomed the unwashed are, 
  but good, hardworking, salt-of-the-earth type lower 
  and middle class families love them. Over the centuries, 
  most of the bakeries have changed their name away from 
  Half-Moon Bread, but the bakeries, mill and trans-
  port services that support them are all still owned by 
  Marceline and provide many of the guild members with a 
  legitimate occupation.
  Forgeries and False Identities - The guild’s primary 
  service is a sort of witness protection program for soci-
  ety’s outcasts, usually young women in bad situations. 
  They take these women, clean them up, spend time 
  polishing them up, and depending on their aptitudes and 
  willingness, fabricate back stories and connections for 
  them. That prostitute who killed her pimp is now a sim-
  ple farmer’s or merchant’s daughter with witnesses and 
  documents that attest to that fact. Many of the women 
  (and men too) end up marrying relatively well-to-do 
  individuals (shopkeepers, up and coming councilmen, 
  rising stars in the city guard, etc). While many of the 
  early “chance meetings” between the future couples are 
  arranged by the guild (and kept secret from both parties) 
  Marceline has found that the relationships are stronger 
  and more... useful, if the eventual marriages are never 
  forced. This helps keep eyes and ears throughout all 
  levels of society and should favors ever be needed, the 
  individuals who received a new identity and new life are 
  happy to do most anything for their old sponsor.
  The Crone
  The guild’s current Crone is Lady Isadora Dargetos. She 
  is the widow of a ranking ambassador and in her younger 
  days served as The Virgin. She is a renowned patron of 
  the arts, thrower of phenomenal parties, and considered 
  by many in upper class to be THE arch-maven of taste, 
  style and polite sensibility. Her handwriting is excep-
  tional and her forgeries are divine. She knows absolutely 
  everybody (and most of their secrets) and delights in 
  using her intimate knowledge of the social calendars to 
  plan targeted heists. If you need something or access to 
  someone in a city, Lady Isadora can provide.
  The Mother
  The guild’s current Mother is Angelika Huxton. She 
  is recently widowed (her husband having been kicked 
  in the head by a horse) and owns and runs a 750 acre 
  ranch outside of town with about 200 head of cattle and 
  100 head of sheep. She has six children, the youngest of 
  which is 2 and the oldest is 17. Coming of age ceremonies 
  take place at the age of 15 in these lands, so assuming her 
  youngest child doesn’t die, she will be the guild’s Mother 
  for the next 13 years. The ranch is mostly self sufficient, 
  with ample acreage dedicated to farming and vegetable 
  gardens and plenty of heavily wooded areas where a 
  person could get lost for weeks. 30 to 50 ranch and farm 
  hands work the land and livestock and guard the house. 
  Of those ~1d10 are actual guild associates. 
  Demascus Slade, a real mountain of a man, and Ange-
  lika’s husband’s “first cousin” (i.e., forged and sent by 
  the guild), came to live on the ranch and help Angelika 
  keep things running after her husband passed. Demascus 
  is scary good with knives (throwing, stabbing and whit-
  tling) and an absolute master of making and detecting 
  poisons.
  Cooper Tinsides is an old prospector who lives up in 
  the mountains, coming down every so often to trade 
  some of the metal he digs up for fresh supplies. He stays 
  at the ranch for 3 to 5 days before heading back up to 
  his claims. Some of the ranch hands don’t like him too 
  much, but it’s only on account of how bad he smells 
  whenever he first arrives. He can tell a hell of a story 
  and Angelika insists he be well treated because of how 
  much raw gold and silver he trades for the supplies and 
  services. The truth of the matter is that Cooper lives 
  up in Marceline’s old bandit lair and acts as her current 
  proxy. He collects news and information and delivers 
  orders and assignments from Marceline. Cooper really 
  does prospect, but only enough to know all the ins and 
  outs of the mining and panning trade. Most of the ore is 
  melted down booty and this facade launders a hell of a 
  lot of gold. His requests for secrecy are well respected on 
  all fronts because of his loud and frequently proclaimed 
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  The Golden Cricket By Jacob
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  fear of claim jumpers. So far, no one that’s tried to tail 
  Cooper has made it past the foothills of the mountains 
  without a red smile across their throat.
  Each weekend Angelika goes into the city to run a num-
  ber of stalls in a farmer’s market where she sells meats, 
  grains, vegetables, honey and soap. The quality of the 
  goods she sells is quite high, but she keeps her prices low 
  and is well liked and respected throughout the capitol. 
  The captain of the town guard himself went so far as 
  to offer her a few men to help keep the ranch running 
  after her husband passed on, but as Demascus was “on 
  his way”, Angelika politely declined the offer. When in 
  town, Angelika takes up lodging in Black Dragon Inn 
  and Tavern.
  The Virgin
  The guild’s current Virgin, Fiona Sinclair has eyes of 
  fire and a heart of steel. She was a swashbuckler in the 
  company of Suulo the Blade who traveled through the 
  ruins in Witchfire Mire and slew a black dragon. Fiona 
  came away from the adventure with the dragon’s head 
  and a quarter of its hoard, three weeks before her 22nd 
  birthday. She came back to the capitol city and opened 
  up the Black Dragon Inn and Tavern because she had 
  always wanted to run a tavern with her mother. 
  Fiona’s mother Maple, was a brewer’s daughter and 
  spent much of her early life as a waitress in a small inn 
  at a crossroads in the middle of nowhere. After being 
  beaten and raped by the owner one night, she killed him 
  and proudly confessed to the deed when questioned the 
  next day. Before she could be hanged, Marceline’s guild 
  disappeared her and set her up with a new name and life 
  in the capitol. She never married and worked the counter 
  at the Half-Moon Bread bakery and raised her daughter 
  from that terrible night, in the thick of the guild. Maple 
  makes delicious apple cider and always told Fiona it was 
  her dream to one day run a tavern, so when adventuring 
  paid off Fiona made that dream a reality.
  Fiona enjoys being “shocking” to the members of high 
  society. She uses her money and fame to get into places 
  of wealth and refinement and then does something lewd 
  or disruptive for a laugh, paying off any consequenc-
  es with her “dragon gold”. She dresses in a masculine 
  fashion, wearing trousers but keeping her long hair in an 
  unkempt ponytail with foolishly expensive ribbons. She 
  enjoys swearing and arm wrestling and recently created 
  a number of artistic works by covering her naked body 
  in paint and rolling across some canvas. Lady Isadora 
  Dargetos found the paintings mesmerizing and held a 
  gala opening for them called “Colors of Adventure”, 
  and commissioned several more. On the opening night of 
  the show a number of important documents were stolen 
  during a break in at the mayor’s house while he was in 
  attendance. No connection has been suspected of course.
  The Black Dragon Inn and Tavern feels cozy in 
  a rough and tumble sort of way. Everything is on the up-
  n-up with it and no illegal activities take place within its 
  walls. The food is good, the beds are clean, and the ci-
  der is beyond compare. The town guard and adventuring 
  types frequent the location to drink and talk and gawk at 
  the black dragon head above the central fire place. The 
  tavern pulls in great bards and loud festive crowds every 
  weekend and Saturday nights are a real blow out. The 
  place is packed, shoulder to shoulder, and the rooms are 
  always booked solid. Recently, the captain of the Night 
  Watch, a strong, good looking guy with olive skin and 
  grey eyes, has decided he’s in love with Fiona and has 
  been coming around much more frequently... exactly 
  like she planned.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  The Golden Cricket By Jacob
  
  174
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Wicked witches!  A staple of mythology and children’s nightmares, there’s no reason why every witch needs to have a 
  black pointy hat, a wart on their nose and a broomstick.  Encountering a wicked witch should be a unique, alarming 
  experience.  They should be strange, unfamiliar, and unique.  You can use this table to generate a unique witch for 
  your campaign.  Roll a D12 for each attribute to generate appearance, demeanor, some environmental details and a 
  hint about their powers.  The specific strength level of the witch is not specified, as a witch can really appear as an 
  adversary at any power level, with arcane powers as appropriate for your system and their hit dice.  A witch encoun-
  ter should be unpredictable and unfamiliar.
  Witch attributes (roll D12 for each) 
   
   
  What do they wear?
  How do they communicate?
  What does the witch wor-
  ship?
  1
  classic black robes and hat
  As appropriate for local culture.
  Local nature spirits 
  2
  leaves, branches, twigs, assorted 
  forest floor detritus
  As appropriate for local culture, but with 
  lots of cackling
  Nature, in general
  3
  assorted mammalian bones (over-
  sized skull, rib cages, etc)
  As appropriate for local culture, but every 
  third sentence is said backwards.
  Most diabolical god in the 
  pantheon 
  4
  skin-tight leather, covered in arcane 
  symbols
  Wildly inappropriate language - e.g., 
  minotaur, in a desert climate.
  Minor demon of some vari-
  ety, who occasionally puts 
  in an appearance
  5
  lurid, bright colors, visible from a 
  truly impressive distance
  Every thing said is in the form of a 
  question.  Think about the old “Eliza” 
  program. 
  Oddly, most lawful god 
  in pantheon.  But not 
  well. 
  6
  nondescript traveller’s clothing, ap-
  propriate for the climate and culture
  Belligerent, confrontational.  Every state-
  ment is a challenge.
  Three different chaotic 
  gods, in monthly rotation
  7
  Blood.  Nothing but blood.
  As appropriate for local culture, but only 
  the person being looked at directly can 
  hear.  Without line of sight, no speaking, 
  and no other people can eavesdrop.
  Magic 
  8
  white gown, obviously high fashion, 
  which manages to always stay com-
  pletely pristine at all times
  Listening to speech for ten minutes causes 
  headache.  Every ten minutes thereafter 
  begins cause 1D6 damage.
  Blood.  All the blood. 
  9
  Gown, at least a hundred years out 
  of date.  It is severely moth-eaten 
  and in remarkably poor condition, 
  beyond what even the rudest peasant 
  would consider.  Still always man-
  ages to hang together.
  All communication takes the form of 
  cryptic rhymes. 
  An ancient stone statue, 
  hidden deep within the ru-
  ins of a forest.  
  10
  A patchwork of skins.  Some obvi-
  ously human, others reptilian.
  Singing.  Oh, so much singing.
  The first thing they see in 
  the morning.  Which they 
  usually feel compelled to 
  destroy the next day.
  11
  Head-to-toe tattoos, depicting 
  assorted scenes relating to their 
  favored curse.
  Always wrong language.  If players switch 
  to language, witch will switch again. 
  Inflicting pain.
  12
  Nude
  Totally mute.  Communicates solely 
  through emphatic gesticulation.
  Nothing whatsoever. 
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
  Wicked Witch Generator
  by Joshua Buergel
  jbuergel@gmail.com
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A method for generating wicked witches of the 
  wilderness.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  M. D.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  Wicked Witch Generator by Joshua Buergel
  
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  175
  175
  How do they generate sur-
  plus magical power?
  What is their favorite curse?
  What is their disfigurement?
  1
  Naked dancing in woods
  All paper touched by victim will burst into 
  flames
  Horrible warts 
  2
  Blood sacrifice 
  Victim does not form new memories, but 
  instead gets memories of last person they 
  see on a day
  Hair is filthy, down to their ankles, 
  and smells like a dead frog
  3
  Blood sacrifice followed by 
  naked dancing
  All animals hate victim beyond all rea-
  son, and will behave violently at all times 
  towards them 
  Eyes are wildly different sizes and 
  colors  
   
  4
  Self-immolation 
  Half of victim’s spells they prepare are 
  random spells 
  Fingernails are three feet long, 
  writhing
  5
  Non-self-immolation
  Victim’s eyes bleed every time victim 
  speaks 
  Skin continually shifts in color to 
  be contrasting color to background, 
  like an anti-chameleon
  6
  Thunderous drumming
  Victim sees visions of how each person 
  they meet will die.  All visions are wrong, 
  yet disturbing.
  Skin peels away in dead strips on a 
  regular basis, revealing raw, open 
  wounds.
  7
  Loud, horrifying, 
  blood-curdling singing
  Victim will get severe sunburns with only 
  minutes of exposure to even mild sun. 
  Smell like a manure cart crashed 
  into a flaming brewery
  8
  Kidnapping and ritual 
  torture
  Victim will blackout every day for a half-
  hour, sleepwalking during that time.  
  Nose is long, pointy, and drips 
  blood continuously
  9
  Distributing poisoned food 
  to nearby populations
  Victim will react violently to being re-
  strained during that time. 
  No visible ears 
  10
  Elaborate construction of 
  arcane and occult symbols 
  using natural components 
  (leaves, branches, etc) 
  Victim is unable to distinguish faces any 
  more.
  Sixth finger on each hand sprouts 
  from the middle of wrist
  11
  Being struck by lightning
  Victim’s voice continually changes, going 
  from whisper to bellow unpredictably. 
  Victim becomes very clumsy while wearing 
  armor.
  Knees hinged backwards
  12
  Suicide, arising again on 
  the third day
  Victim is now allergic to smoke.
  Teeth are fangs, stuck into mouth 
  at crazy angles, frequently carving 
  up own lips and cheeks into bloody 
  messes.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
  What is their disposition?
  What is their usual coven size?
  What are their sacred times? 
  1
  Angry
  1
  Midnight
  2
  Resigned
  1
  Gloaming
  3
  Manic
  3
  Dawn
  4
  Overly friendly 
  3
  High noon
  5
  Vengeful
  Three Pairs
  Last day of each week
  6
  Sclerotic
  Three Pairs
  Every equinox, from sundown to sunup
  7
  Furiously reactionary
  6
  Every solstice, from sunup to sundown
  8
  Seductive
  6
  Last day of every month
  9
  Friendly
  Three sets of six
  One week of every year during harvest 
  10
  Suspicious
  Three sets of six
  One hour of every day, rotating to next hour on 
  each day
  11
  Garrulous, loquacious
  Dozen
  First minute of every hour
  12
  Squamous
  Dozen
  Six past six, on the sixth day of each month.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  Wicked Witch Generator by Joshua Buergel
  
  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  176
  176
  What is their favorite food?
  What is their mount?
  1
  Mammalian hearts
  Broomstick
  2
  Children’s vocal cords 
  Black horse
  3
  Human 
  Large goat
  4
  Magic potions, which don’t have their normal effects 
  Nightmare
  5
  Fingers.  Whole. 
  Floating disc
  6
  Rare spices
  Column of flame
  7
  Liver.  The fresher, the better 
  No mount - but can burrow under ground
  8
  Eye of newt and toe of frog
  Pegasus
  9
  Spiders
  Rhino
  10
  Gemstones
  Pony.  With poisonous bite. 
   
  11
  Blood.  Of course.
  No mount - but can blink
  12
  Babies
  Dire wolf
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  Wicked Witch Generator by Joshua Buergel
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  1d20
  1
  Guard Geese - 2d3 geese and one gander.  *Very* 
  loud if disturbed.  They find your presence sans 
  bread disturbing.  Go ahead and laugh.  The 
  Romans made lions fight for their amusement and 
  guarded their homes with geese.
  2
  Night Watchman, leaning against a wall, snoring 
  loudly.
  3
  Street Urchin - Will keep quiet for a cut, or will 
  turn you in for a bounty.  Both, if he thinks he 
  can swing it.
  4
  Rookie Watchman, awake and stupid enough to 
  challenge you directly.
  5
  Brass plate with the sign of the Thieves’ Guild, 
  symbolizing that this establishment’s protection 
  payments are current.  Don’t say you weren’t 
  warned.
  6
  Guard Dog, neglected - Chained in the doorway, 
  the friendless bedraggled creature stares up at you 
  with sad, empty eyes beyond hope.
  7
  Guard Dog, vicious - As berserker, but with teeth.  
  Won’t be distracted by any meat that isn’t still 
  trying to escape.
  8
  Guard Dog, clueless- Bouncy puppy wants to 
  play.  Barks if you ignore him or try to leave.
  9
  The cash box has a lock on it that a child can 
  pick - any competent thief can open it in about a 
  minute.  Too bad there are 39 others just like it on 
  the same chest.  This could take a bit.
  10
  Cindy Lou Who - disgustingly adorable toddler, 
  complete with teddy bear and annoying lisp, 
  wants to know what you’re doing.  She’s mostly 
  harmless - the teddy bear, on the other hand, 
  will do Very Bad Things to anyone attempting to 
  harm her.
  11
  A very obvious wall safe.  Except for the fact that 
  it does not open - it’s a solid metal block with 
  inoperable external workings. The real safe is 
  hidden in the floor.
  12
  Inside the locked cash box is a sack containing 
  437 sovereigns, a pouch of gems, and a live cobra.
  13
  Common robbers, shaking down the shopkeeper 
  and his family for what you planned to steal.  
  Someone really ought to do something about the 
  crime rate in this town.
  14
  One of the coins you took is the first coin ever 
  made by the shop.  It’s haunted by the grand-
  father of the current owner - who won’t take it 
  back.
  15
  Turns out the jewels are fakes.  Whatever hap-
  pened to trust?
  16
  Burglars are headed in to get what you swiped as 
  you’re headed out.  Thieving $#@!s.
  17
  Your entry point is barred against your exit.  The 
  fact that this merchant also owns the pie shop 
  next door just got significantly more worrisome.
  18
  One of the purloined items can be sniffed out by 
  magic, as can anyone who has had it in their pos-
  session in the last three days. There are expensive 
  sorceries known to unsavory wizards that will 
  nullify this effect.
  19
  The wall you planned to climb over to escape has 
  broken glass embedded along the top.
  20
  By threat or bribery, the merchants’ guild has 
  turned your fence.  Any meeting with the fence 
  will be an attempt to recover the goods and trade 
  your hide for his.  Your other contacts may be on 
  to this.
  Mundane and Magical 
  Shop Defenses 
  by Kitchen Wolf
  kitchen_wolf@yahoo.com
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A table of mundane and magical defenses that mer-
  chants both rich and poor would have that I can roll 
  on when the players suddenly decide to go on a breaking 
  and entering spree
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  S. P.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  Mundane and Magical  Shop Defenses  by Kitchen Wolf
  
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  Monster Illustration                                                                                       
  Mike F
  http://aberrantmike.blogspot.com
  Dear Santicore...
  I would like an illustration of a bizarre and horrible 
  monster.  If possible, capturing the essence of Swords 
  and Sorcery and Weird Fantasy. 
  If that’s not possible, then I’d like pony dammit!
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  M. E.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  Monster Illustration by Mike F
  
  179
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Mystical Migrations 
  of the 
  Mythical Menagerie
  by Logan Knight
  orphanpornographerssociety@gmail.com
  http://www.lastgaspgrimoire.com
  d20
  Nature on the Move
  The Impact of Life
  1
  The Many-Faced or Dividing Leopard Worm
  A creeping mass of black-spotted yellow fur, voids gaping within 
  the bunched mess of a head, bristling teeth like oily black quills. 
  15ft long tails thicker than your thigh drag behind the bulk before 
  splitting away, hair separating, contracting and slithering with a 
  mouth all their own. Skinwalkers take the pelts as barbaric ar-
  mour. The venom delivered by the caterpillar-like hairs that stand 
  on end along their backs causes muscle spasms that can last for 
  days. Older worms can eject right out of their backs when threat-
  ened. The fibres alone contain enough venom to incapacitate ten 
  burly men; if you take the pelt with the venom glands intact and 
  keep them alive it will last indefinitely.
  The worm mass doesn’t really divide, it 
  is made up of individuals moving to-
  gether like a brood of Spitfire Grubs, but 
  their faces do, split into even quarters 
  bristling with quill teeth to better drag 
  you down their gullets.
  Beyond defence and hunger related 
  deaths and cripplings, the only thing 
  left to mark their passing are the flimsy 
  abandoned silk nests spun around large 
  trees just within the woods, temporary 
  shelter for a few days’ hunting before 
  continuing their journey.
  Due to the hairs woven amongst the silk, 
  the only thing you’ll earn by collecting 
  it is a week of convulsions.
  2
  Spiders of Gushmora
  Exquisite neglect creeps in like rising waters, stranded wisps hang-
  ing from flowers turn to phantasmal curtains of translucent silk, 
  undulating in the wind.
  The brood mothers can only walk upon silken threads, and so 
  a tide of their thousand children spills out before them, draping 
  webbed paths over grasslands and trees until their spinnerets run 
  dry and their bodies break, replaced by siblings birthed during the 
  journey.
  The Korhari Silk-Weavers follow the migration, gathering silk 
  with long, pointed implements of bronze to be fed onto spinning 
  wheels nestled within their gaily painted wagons, ornate and ma-
  ny-coloured behind a sea of white.
  The few months spent following the spiders will provide them 
  with everything they need for the rest of the year, producing fine 
  Korhari silks to be sold to the highest bidder. Killing any kind of 
  spider before a Korhari is invitation to violence. 
  Absorbed by the ravenous hunger of the 
  journey, the passing of the Spiders of 
  Gushmora effects near-extinction upon 
  insect populations caught in their path.
  In the weeks preceding the arrival of 
  the migration, many animals will flee 
  to other hunting grounds. First you 
  notice that the birds no longer sing in 
  the morning, then the rodents disappear 
  from your larder, you hear predators 
  padding away in the night. Many plant 
  species will take months to recover with 
  nothing left to spread their seed.
  The bite of the Spiders of Gushmo-
  ra causes an accelerated rot, swollen 
  wounds burst and spill decomposing 
  flesh with an iridescent sheen much like 
  the spider’s exoskeleton, all fuchsia, 
  purples and black. When the swollen 
  boils appear across their chest and arms 
  the victim will know they endured the 
  amputation of their leg for nothing.
  Korhari assassins often travel ahead of 
  the migration, ending those they find 
  preparing to defend their lands.
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  Nature on the move. A table of magnificient and/or 
  terrifying migrations. Would ideally contain:
  1. What the creatures are
  2. What sort of impact this migration has on the world
  3. Who hunts and/or preys upon the migration
  20/50/100 your choice Santicore!
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  J.
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  3
  Ignis Fatuus Floris
  Ethereal points of blue light float through the sunless dark, 
  dancing on the wind. When the luminous seeds settle they sprout 
  dark-stemmed flowers topped with thick bulbs, scored like a spiral-
  ling vortex. The feathery pink petals that sprout astride the spiral 
  flutter in the breeze, until a strong enough wind blows in from the 
  right direction and the pods violently ejaculate the next generation 
  of seeds into the air in an unfurling explosion, one step closer to 
  their destination.
  The Moulting Priests of the Seeping Dissonance seek to de-
  stroy the Ignis Fatuus Floris, why they will not say.
  They have been within reach of the flowers only twice, causing 
  them to explode into an errant wind, thwarting the priests but 
  setting the flowers back on their journey.
  For the species to survive the flowers 
  must survive. When the seeds first enter 
  the soil they excrete a toxin that causes 
  all plant life in the immediate area to 
  wither away, eliminating any competi-
  tion for the nutrients needed to grow.
  Unfortunately for the flower, the same 
  toxin that kills flora causes intense hyp-
  nagogic hallucinations in fauna. If their 
  needle-like thorns fail to deter wander-
  ers or thrill-seeking boars hoping for a 
  transcendent experience, the damaged 
  flowers exude  a chemical warning that 
  causes the remaining flowers to disperse 
  their seed into the nearest wind, regard-
  less of direction.
  4
  Eels of the Nighted Depths
  None know where they come from or where they go, only the 
  swarm of oil-slick flesh that undulates over the land, toothless, 
  wrinkled maws stretching wide to consume creatures twice their 
  size, slipping onward while the hapless beasts howl from within 
  their stretched flesh, slowly succumbing to digestion.
  Apothecaries and Dabblers of the Black Arts lust for the flesh 
  of the abyssopelagic nightmares. A piece of their blubbery leathered 
  skin will buy a week’s debauchery, their rock-hard sightless eyes 
  would fetch an honest man’s yearly wage, for a living intact speci-
  men your very heart’s darkest desire would be fulfilled.
  Upturned ecosystems, lost pets, lost 
  loves, insane bearded men kicking down 
  your door demanding to know which 
  direction the eels went.
  5
  The Periphery
  As people walk there seems to be a shadow not their own moving 
  beside them, seen in their peripheral vision and absent when they 
  turn.
  As the phenomena ceases in one settlement it emerges in another, 
  trailing across the land until the reports finally cease after several 
  months.
  The Scholars of the Seventh Seal seek any and all information 
  pertaining to what they call The Periphery. Shared knowledge will 
  be rewarded, false informers will never be found. 
  A lingering feeling amalgamated of 
  dread and rapture, the subtly unnerving 
  presence of the Scholars weeks after the 
  event.
  6
  Xanthous Locust
  It begins with bands of gregarious wingless nymphs, a hopping 
  carpet of bronze-tarnished mandibles, but when their density 
  reaches fever pitch a flavescent metamorphosis takes place that sees 
  their carapace harden into grotesque studded plates of rich yellow 
  armour, glittering wings unfurling in the light.
  Their omnivorous plague migration sweeps over vegetation and 
  flesh, a flying wall of hooked limbs and eager squirming labial 
  palps.
  Communities with Forewarning often plant large crops of 
  Mandrake before the oncoming swarm, a fragrance irresistible to 
  the locusts, tearing roots from the ground after gorging upon the 
  leaves and flowers. While it will not kill them, ingesting Man-
  drake renders the locusts lethargic and uninterested in pursuing 
  further sustenance for at least a day.
  At night roosting locusts may be caught up in nets and baskets. 
  Fried Xanthous Locust is said to be an unsurpassed delicacy.
  Devastated crops and shrubberies, flesh 
  chewed straight from the bone while 
  you’re still screaming and flailing, 
  an abundantly delicious crunchy food 
  source for those smarter than you.
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  7
  Fog Walkers of the Broken Isle
  Magnificent striding things on slender multi-jointed limbs, symbi-
  otic creatures hanging from their shaggy pelts with bright eyes and 
  wicked little hands. The mottled fur of the creatures makes them 
  nothing more than mossy discolouration among the grey coats of 
  the Walker’s short, stocky bodies until they move with alarming 
  speed.
  The fog that seems to have carried away from the Broken Isle 
  to surround the Walker’s body is in reality a cloud of minuscule 
  insects, feeding on the blood of the creatures before being sucked 
  into the Walker’s facial ducts for nourishment. What sustains the 
  creatures is as yet unknown.
  Too sure-footed and strong of limb to be cut down from the ground, 
  Companies of Landsharpuniere carefully select Walkers to 
  bring down with harpoon and rope, protected by pikemen and foot 
  soldiers from shrieking creatures in descent.
  The Fog Walkers always seem to be ac-
  companied by grey skies and light rain, 
  as if their very presence had seeded the 
  clouds.
  Vegetative growth after the rain is 
  strong but somehow subtly wrong, 
  vaguely reminiscent of the Broken Isle if 
  you stare long enough.
  8
  Abysslodira
  Clacking pyramidal shells amble out of the sea encrusted with lus-
  trous blue barnacles, their long hibernation in the depths at an end. 
  Tortoise-like creatures the size of absurdly large wolves on a slow 
  plod through whatever falls in their path.
  When confronted by another creature their small hard skulls raise 
  high on startling long necks, pudgy grey skin stretching tight and 
  regarding the stranger through glassy white eyes. If they perceive 
  danger their head and limbs retract completely within nigh-im-
  penetrable shells until the threat has passed, if there is no threat 
  they renew their slow plod straight through you, smooth featureless 
  faces rotating to stare all the while as you fall to the side.
  Various Birds land on the Abysslodira as they walk, dislodging 
  barnacles from their shells with surprising ease and feasting where 
  they land. The parasite they have eaten will cause the birds to fly 
  without rest to the nearest suitable body of water, plunging into its 
  depths to drown and decay, birthing a strange algae-like ooze from 
  their feathered corpses.
  Undeterrable from their path, the 
  Abysslodira will plod over mountains 
  and through battles with the same 
  measured lackadaisical step until a cav-
  alry charge causes them to drop to the 
  ground, a wave of horses breaking over 
  their blue-jewelled shells.
  Towns that find themselves host to the 
  migration of the Abysslodira would be 
  best advised to clear all obstruction and 
  make them feel welcome, because it will 
  take weeks for them to move out of the 
  streets if some slight offence or threat 
  causes them to retreat into their shells.
  The algal bloom bears a semi-sentience 
  that sees it infect water supplies and 
  drown animals before moving on to 
  sample the next set of organisms it finds 
  again and again before finally being 
  swept back out to sea.
  9
  Caustic Sludge Crabs
  A plague of black carapaces spills from the protection of the Mold-
  enwood in order to reach the Hollow Sea to spawn, crawling over 
  the land in a blanket like a swarm of mites over a corpse.
  Within the woods the crabs are without predators, rock hard shells 
  containing their liquid flesh, in the open air birds swoop amongst 
  them in an attempt to carry away lone crabs before being dragged 
  down amongst the swarm.
  Albino Ibis close a nictitating membrane of the same unhealthy 
  pink as their wrinkled faces over their eyes to ward off snapping 
  claws as they descend. After escaping with a crab they will lay it on 
  a hard surface and peck a hole in the armour of its belly to expose 
  the oily sludge beneath. Caustic to most creatures, the Ibis dilute 
  it with their own vomit before sucking it up through long, curved 
  beaks. 
  Little will stand in the way of the crab 
  migration. Anything caught in their 
  path will be pulled beneath by claws too 
  numerous to count, bones picked clean 
  in their wake, and a smashed crab will 
  easily melt through armour with its 
  spilled liquid flesh.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  Mystical Migrations  of the  Mythical Menagerie by Logan Knight
  
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  10
  Diasporea
  The stranger moves towards you in slow, gliding steps, their body 
  hunched inside a great coat covered in dry leaves and sticks and rot-
  ting plant matter. Metal trinkets and bones hang from the gnarled 
  branches extending from their head like horns. A powdery whisper 
  accompanies them as they move closer, and a low thrumming voice 
  like rain asks where your dead grow.
  Light washes over the stranger’s coat as they move into the glow of 
  your lantern, and you see the gaps amidst the sticks and filth. You 
  see fungal sinew strung inside, like the forest floor caught in a web. 
  A thick mass of lichen veil hangs in the hooded space below the 
  stranger’s antlers, and ever more unexpected mounds and wooden 
  horns are illuminated across their back. Small stout yellow round-
  capped mushrooms in jagged rows beneath its throat and chest 
  quiver and begin to thrum against wood and bone, forming the 
  words that politely ask again, “Where do your dead grow?”
  Colonies of fungus and mould that cobble debris together to gain 
  a locomotive form. They will talk to you, they’ll even trade, but 
  they have no empathy. They won’t understand why you’re so upset 
  that they dug up your daughter, pulled her corpse apart, and placed 
  the pieces amongst their body. Fragile but hard to kill permanent-
  ly, and the spores that erupt from them in times of stress end up 
  everywhere, and your flesh is ever so fertile.
  The Diasporea have no predators or 
  prey, only those ignorant enough to try 
  to kill them then scream in horror at the 
  release of their infectious spores.
  If you’re savvy enough you may find 
  yourself in possession of  time-lost 
  artefacts at the cost of a dead dog or an 
  ancestor’s corpse.
  11
  Cancerslugs
  As long as a man, putrescent yellow flesh glistening under thick 
  layers of mucus as they emerge from swamps during the wet season, 
  smelling of stale semen and broken drought.
  Generally placid, violent in short sharp bursts that you never 
  expect. Their wounds bubble out in pink masses of vivid new flesh, 
  deflating into yellow normality over the coming days.
  The Flesh Crafters continue to obtain samples of slug mucus for 
  experimentation, but since the successful capture and confinement 
  of a live specimen within their labs six years ago have shown no 
  interest in further capture, in fact they show an aversion verging on 
  disgust at the thought.
  Gold-Banded Broodsac Larvae attempt to invade the slugs, 
  carried as sporocysts until they develop into Broodsacs as the slugs 
  near settled areas or forests. The Broodsacs push into the slug’s 
  eyestalks and secrete chemicals that induce a compulsive need to 
  climb the tallest thing it can find; an ancient tree, a belltower over-
  looking the town square. At its height the Broodsacs squirm and 
  pulsate, golden Rorschachs glinting in the open sky until a bird of 
  prey descends to tear it from the slug’s head, the next stage of its 
  life cycle begun.
  With the majority of its brain torn out the slug will fall to the 
  earth, impacting in a disintegrating shower of yellow flesh bub-
  bling regeneration even in death. 
  Sudden maddening irritations befall 
  bare skin exposed to the thick mucus 
  trails left in their wake, progressing 
  into lesions and worse. Those unlucky 
  enough to discover an allergy will spend 
  the rest of their lives swaddled in cloth 
  to hide the horror they have become.
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  12
  Powder Deer
  Herds of them, white fur so pure it nearly glows. The female of 
  the species, and the herd is almost entirely female, bear branching 
  antlers as fragile as glass, shattered and disintegrating on impact. 
  Semi-parasitic young hang from their backs, pink pupal piles of 
  them with pliant manipulable bones that curl around their brood 
  sisters and into their mother’s fur.
  Monolithic among the herd is the Husband, black furred with a 
  compact, upright body like a giraffe, its powerful chest supporting 
  the thick, muscled neck that stretches up to a magnificent head 
  crowned by twisting spires of horn as tall as its body, piercing the 
  sky.
  Packs of Predatory Beasts try their luck harrying the migra-
  tion, but lone predators would never dare. Before they disintegrate 
  completely the Deer’s shattered antlers fracture into splinters, 
  leaving wounds full of powdered glass where they pierce the flesh.
  In dire situations the Husband tramps through the herd like an 
  icebreaker, all discordant howling and rage, any shred of self-pres-
  ervation lost. If the Husband perishes another Powder Deer will 
  undergo a transmutation to take its place, but such things take 
  time.
  Their powdered antlers fertilise the 
  growth of both bacteria and vegetation. 
  Lush foliage and crops sprout where 
  there has been conflict, but any wounds 
  contaminated by the earth or even the 
  plants themselves are likely to fester 
  within mere hours.
  13
  Copulatorum
  Less a migration than a minor incursion, men and women bear-
  ing the faint scent of carnal knowledge arrive at secluded cabins, 
  farms, taverns, palaces. The method of their approach and petition 
  for solace varies, but invariably ends in an enticement to lay with 
  them.
  Where their advances are rejected they leave with apology. Where 
  accepted, people report seeing either a heavily pregnant woman or 
  an obscenely obese man with a pendulous gut leaving in the small 
  hours of the morning, while inside the homes are all torn flesh and 
  a madness of blood and bile.
  Respected and Disregarded Organisations are all in consensus 
  that the reports are utter fallacy, only lone eccentrics and outright 
  lunatics seek out incidents of Copulatorum, though not all for the 
  same reasons. 
  Jilted lovers, subsequent suspicious 
  deaths, absurd stories and hangings.
  14
  Bowelbird
  Flocks of inky black birds with eyes like fresh-spilt blood alight on 
  rooftops and concentric patterns in fields, named for a habit of dig-
  ging amongst entrails after a slaughter, the Bowelbird is possessed 
  with a desire for objects of the colour red, not gore.
  At each rest they erect crimson piles of thievery in ensanguined 
  cairns, incomprehensible shrines which will be destroyed by various 
  breeds of Simian if they happen across them, reproachful shrieks 
  echoing through the trees. 
  Carcasses strewn open, crimson 
  veils carried away, roses a-snatched 
  mid-courting.
  Something much more were the cairns 
  altogether allowed to stand.
  15
  Ulcerate Vermis
  Loathsome grey masses emerge from the sewers and water systems 
  of the cities, slopping and rolling clumps of tentacles that make 
  their way to the nearest patch of bare earth beyond the city walls, 
  seemingly melting into the dirt.
  The majority of their migration takes place beneath the ground, 
  but when it begins to rain they will emerge through shifting clumps 
  of dirt, tumbling and running chaotically across the land amid the 
  spattering drops.
  Apathetic Gastronomes savour them as a delicacy, and Various 
  Unseemly Bookish-Types would rather like to get their hands on 
  a specimen. 
  The light touch of a tentacle when you 
  get too close to them opens a painless 
  ulcer in your skin that will heal within a 
  few days, but while it persists you remain 
  mildly irritated over nothing. They 
  often evade capture simply because those 
  around them are too busy arguing over 
  meaningless drivel.
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  184
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  16
  Nightshade
  Unseen in the light of day, slinking through the night, melting into 
  shelter when something is near. Beneath a tree you raise your head 
  to the night sky to find a dark shadow towering over the leaves, 
  staring down at you with furtive reflective orbs.
  One-Eyed Stygian Herbbalists have an unwholesome interest 
  in the movements of the Nightshade. 
  Unearthly beautiful blossoms unfurling 
  their shimmering black petals in the 
  morning light provide the only marker 
  that a Nightshade ever passed.
  17
  The Crawling Rot
  They emerge from their burrows, decaying with splitting flesh in 
  the sunlight, undergoing regenerative transmorphosis throughout 
  the night, an ever-shifting parade of warped flesh and cancerous 
  disease.
  Every Being With a Sense of the Sanctity of Their Own 
  Existence or Self-Preservation will avoid the Crawling Rot at 
  any cost, even the carrion vermin know better than to meddle with 
  their flesh. 
  You will know their passing by the 
  rotting remnants of shed antlers, teeth, 
  eyestalks and splitting jaws, twisted 
  arms, segmented legs, tentacles and 
  gore, you will know them by the smell.
  18
  Somnolent Broodmite
  Transportation is what they need; human, animal, they don’t mind. 
  The anaesthetic saliva of their bite renders the host unaware as the 
  mites enter their body through holes bored in the legs, populating 
  through the body, consuming everything non-vital to their needs 
  over time. Somnambulance is induced when they reach the brain, 
  carrying the Broodmites towards their desire.
  If they absolutely must be stopped, a human host will speak with 
  others, but it won’t make sense, like a lover waking you in the mid-
  dle of the night during a dream. 
  For the most part no one will ever know 
  that the Somnolent Broodmites have 
  passed, but some may find the target of 
  their hunt or planned thievery suddenly 
  split apart by their attack, spilling piles 
  of bloody mites in search of new trans-
  portation.
  19
  Jewelled Mounds of Ur
  Shambling masses of flesh little more than a delivery system for the 
  rose-tinted crystals sprouting in clusters from their skin, hobbling 
  on pairs of bony arms like crutches and cloven-footed hind legs.
  They travel towards the Valley of the Nine Streams and the an-
  chored egg sacs already laid by their females within the sapphire 
  waters. When they reach the stream’s edge their unheard voices 
  raise in a harmonic reverberation, bursting their fragile crystals 
  over the water, releasing pink seed to fertilise the eggs. After this 
  release the males will die, their corpses waiting food for their un-
  hatched young.
  Uneducated Would-Be Jewel Thieves have sometimes killed 
  Mounds in order to dislodge the giant crystals from their flesh, 
  only to be rewarded with a burst of honey-thick semen for their 
  troubles. The Mound’s seed also happens to hold remarkable muta-
  genic potential, a property that makes it rather valuable to certain 
  other parties. 
  Apart from theft-related mishaps, fish 
  and amphibians that spawn from the 
  Nine Streams during the same period are 
  abundant in number and girth, even if 
  their flesh does taste unnaturally salty, 
  and their entrails form strange patterns 
  amidst too-many bones.
  20
  Ash Spider Colossum
  Spread fractal shadows beneath them as they pass, light clouds of 
  dust motes shaking free from segmented legs that stab the earth 
  with every step, stretching straight up to lightly suspended plateau 
  bodies bearing black monoliths that scratch the sky like light-
  ning-struck trees.
  Shivering Bare-Fleshed Zealots worship the Ash Spiders as 
  gods, climbing to their backs to partake in an endless liturgy 
  amongst the monoliths.
  Blue-Bloat Bore Grubs infest the colossal limbs, burrowing 
  tunnels as they feed. 
  Zealots crawl over the Spider’s legs as 
  they walk, digging out melon-sized 
  grubs to gorge on succulent blue flesh.
  Madness sprouts in their wake, a reli-
  gious fervour erupting in settlements 
  that drives the afflicted to scale their 
  new gods and worship at their peaks, 
  replenishing the ranks of Zealots that 
  have climbed within grasping mouths, 
  food for the gods.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  Mystical Migrations  of the  Mythical Menagerie by Logan Knight
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Step off, Humetrash! Elven 
  Supremacist Street Gang
  by RedHobbit
  theredhobbit@gmail.com
  http://dungeonsddx.blogspot.com/
  I decided to go refugee/reclaimer angle for the reason 
  these elves are a street-gang.  Rather than your typical 
  thievery they are outright taking over shady businesses 
  with an overarching goal of getting revenge on humans, 
  which may or may not be justified. 
  -----------------------------------
  “What do you mean you never heard of us humetrash? 
  Then perhaps I better refresh your memory since all 
  that yak-piss you’ve been drinking has addled your infe-
  rior simian cortex.”
  The boy is lanky, red stripes run along his left arm and 
  his hands are covered in soot.  His eyes hold nothing 
  but contempt and his mouth is twisted into a sneer at the 
  mere sight of a human.  Their clothes are rubbish, their 
  hair wild and while no weapons adorn their malnour-
  ished figures you cannot help but feel a twinge of danger 
  from them.  He continues before your inebriated tongue 
  can dig its own grave.
  “We are the inheritors of a civilization that stretches 
  back eons, we are the descendents of a once noble people; 
  we are the wind through the barren trees and we are the 
  howls that make you lock your doors at night.  We are of 
  the second age, we watched as you took your first steps 
  on two feet, watched as Gods above gifted you with fire 
  and watched yet again as you took that precious gift and 
  set the world ablaze.  Our homeland is gone, nothing 
  but ash and shadows; you have brought about our twi-
  light and so we shall bring about yours.  One monkey at 
  a time.  We stalk your cities, prowl among your alleys; 
  we are the movement outside your window and the eyes 
  watching you on moonless nights.  We are few, but we 
  are patient and we will outlast you.  You have taken our 
  homes and so graciously given us squalor; now allow me 
  to return the favor.  Your home, your goods, your trade 
  and your life are ours now.  Cross us and you will be add-
  ed to the ash coating our eternal home.  Speak out and 
  no one will believe you.  “Elves are pitiful slumdogs, 
  they will say.  They lack direction, they can’t hold a job 
  let alone mount a crusade”.  You will be ridiculed and 
  still we will prosper beneath the shadows of the twisted 
  elm and ash.  Our roots are long and deep and this city 
  will bear the first fruit.  Now, it’s time for you to decide 
  whether you’d better off as fertilizer or a gardener; either 
  way your night, your life, your age comes to an end.”
  Elves live in squalor in this merchant haven, they are 
  children of the refugees from an enclave that had stood 
  the test of time for millenia before fire rained from the 
  heavens and their civilization was no more.  They grew 
  up with tales of the lost age from their elders; their 
  leader a youth with a sharp mind, verbose rhetoric and 
  defiance coursing through his blood took these stories to 
  heart.  He believes the fire was caused by humans, there 
  may be some truth to this but as for who or what caused 
  the skyfire none have taken responsibility.  So instead 
  this youth has been spreading potential misinformation 
  among the Elven refugees.  While their elders are old 
  and decrepid and lack the will to turn them away much 
  of the youthful population may be swept up in this 
  revolt.  The leader is crafty beyond his years and realizes 
  that the humans could quickly quash his rebellion with 
  superior numbers (“because those hairless apes breed like 
  rabbits”) so rather than cause too much trouble he has 
  chosen to fly under the radar.  First by taking over seedy 
  merchant operations which the law wants no part of to 
  begin with; while maintaining a front that a human still 
  controls it.  He is establishing large segments of hidden 
  wealth with an end goal of eventually controlling the 
  cities from the shadows.  While his mannerisms and 
  many of his subordinates clearly illuminate his outright 
  hatred of humans no one in the city clearly takes these 
  youngsters seriously let alone the idea that they are 
  inserting themselves into positions of power through 
  bribery, blackmail, coercion and good old fashioned 
  assassination.  While this youth in revolt would love to 
  burn this entire city down in poetic justice they realize 
  that were they to establish a strong foothold here their 
  influence can sway nearby cities and if they play their 
  cards right cause ecomic ruin to this entire stretch of 
  land so that the lands of humans so humbly befit them as 
  slum-towns far and wide.
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  .....details of an Elven supremacist street gang/thieves 
  guild.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  C. F.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  Step off, Humetrash! Elven Supremacist Street Gang by RedHobbit
  
  186
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  East Apkallu
  by Steve Albertson
  jonnyturbo86@gmail.com
  East Apkallu has many names; Great and Sacred Li-
  brary of the East, Repository of Light, Luminous Vault 
  and Jorlubor’s Labyrinth.  It cannot be found unless one 
  is taught how to find it. It is one of four locations that 
  make up the Apkallu Universal. The entrance is locat-
  ed in the top ten feet of a buried pyramid. It is guarded 
  by an ancient and powerful sphinx who will show the 
  entrance to whoever can answer the riddle:
  Great gold piece / Spent daily by every man
  Travels through each town / Yet never touches hands
  Spins on an azure table / Shrouded by white
  Slumber at its loss / Precious as life*
  Inside the entrance is a small antechamber with a spiral 
  staircase that leads down into a massive auditorium.  The 
  auditorium is filled with wise men and women of obscure 
  and bizarre anatomy, yet peopled with enough familiar 
  races to keep things comfortable.  The walls are high 
  shelves completely filled with ancient tomes. In the cen-
  ter of the room is a massive globe where the librarians, 
  known as the Keepers, can keep track of every borrowed 
  book.
  From the main auditorium there are six doors that each 
  lead to rooms that are nearly identical.  Each room has 
  six sides and six doors.  Each door leads to the same sort 
  of room. Each room’s walls are lined with shelves and 
  filled with books. Each room has an area for study, and 
  a water closet. In the center of each room is an open pit 
  that looks down on the room below it that is slightly 
  smaller, yet nearly identical, and down into infinity.
  The Keepers are the authority of the found knowledge of 
  East Apkallu, and they have no qualms with reminding 
  people. They are a strange and enigmatic race of ancient 
  monstrosities. Their skin is shriveled and black, and 
  their faces end in a mass of writhing tentacles with razor 
  sharp tips. The Keepers will allow a person to browse as 
  much as they like, but if someone would like to check out 
  a book it will cost them their soul.  This is a short ritual 
  that places the soul in the globe at the center of the au-
  ditorium where they can constantly scry, locate and look 
  through the eyes of the owner of the soul. Loosing one’s 
  soul in this manner drops their Charisma to 3. Those 
  who return their borrowed book to East Apkallu has 
  their souls returned and their Charisma restored.
  Keepers rumors:
  1
  There are tribes that have spent generations search-
  ing through the stacks yet come back with nothing 
  of value. (True.  Roll d% when looking at a random 
  book in the stacks: 01 useful book, 02-100 gibber-
  ish.)
  2
  There are pocket dimensions hidden throughout 
  the library that allow people to never age. (True. 
  Certain secreted away books are keys to mini-di-
  mensions in which things are hidden or families 
  live forever. Some people in East Apkallu are thou-
  sands of years old.)
  3
  There are gates that lead to North, West, and 
  South Apkallu hidden throughout the library. 
  (True. The four libraries that make up the Ap-
  kallu Universal are all connected and collectively 
  contain the whole of knowledge of the world, the 
  cosmos and the planes.)
  4
  East Apkallu is infinitely large and never ends. 
  (False. The entirety of the Apkallu Universal is 
  unfathomably massive, yet finite.)
  5
  Be careful roaming the stacks. There is danger 
  around every corner. (True. There are literally 
  generations of mad mages that have made the stacks 
  their home.  They have books of terrible arcane 
  lore and have summoned horrid beasts that kill for 
  pleasure, demons that have made the library their 
  home and trapped corridors as tribes have marked 
  off their territory and war with their neighbors. 
  Some of the residents of the stacks have no idea that 
  there is a world outside of East Apkallu.)
  6
  We the Keepers control all that happens in East 
  Apkallu! (False. They like to think that they have 
  power, but they are nothing more than merchants 
  who trade a lifetime of luxury and convenience to 
  those that bring them worthwhile tomes from the 
  stacks.)
  7
  The great King in Yellow built East Apkallu. 
  (False. The keepers inherited their position two 
  thousand years ago from celestial planetary apes.)
  8
  The Keepers are the children of the great King in 
  Yellow. (False, but they all are followers, and some 
  are clerical zealots.)
  Dear Santicore...
  Who are the most interesting/important researchers who live 
  at the Great Sacred Library in the East? And just what is in 
  the books they are researching?
  I’d love: 
  1) descriptions of NPC researchers, no class/levels/stats real-
  ly necessary (unless they’re secretly more than they appear).
  2) the titles and some example prose of whatever documents 
  these people are each obsessed with...ideally with plot hooks 
  that point to other locations/objects/things to be quested 
  after that can be dropped into some location in a sandbox-hex-
  map...but not everything has to be an adventure seed, certain-
  ly.\
  Thanks,  
   
   
   
   
  S. A.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  East Apkallu by Steve Albertson
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  There are hundreds of tribes running around the stacks 
  and each tribe has its own objective in the information 
  it searches for. Each NPC will have the following stats: 
  name, race, tribe, what they would trade a book for and 
  what books they have.  Each NPC will only have one 
  book in their possession, but they will know where two 
  others are.
  Jarksa Meed (Djinni)
  Tribe: Junta
  Trade: One night with the PC with the highest charisma
  Books: Orbis Tertium – A book detailing how to find 
  Lentava (the floating frost giant castle), a schematic of 
  the castle itself and specifically where the magical rings 
  of Uqbar have been hidden.
  Dying and Undeath – A grimoire of necromantic spells 
  that deal specifically with incorporeal things and the 
  astral plane.
  Kotka Tablet – A clay tablet that teaches the rune Kotka 
  which can do one of the following 1/day: fly for 1 minute 
  per level, summon a celestial eagle or polymorph into an 
  eagle for 1 minute per level.
  Singur Tarmakuul (Doppelganger)
  Tribe: Ulrich
  Trade: The severed head of Bishop Terrsh.
  Books: Popo Instumentao – It looks like a instructional 
  book on public speaking, but after one finishes the last 
  line of the book they will permanently have a mental 
  synch with every other person who has read the book; 
  like a hive mind with nobody in control.  Bishop Terrsh 
  and Singur Tarmakuul have read the book.
  7 Wonders Travel Guide – This travel guide lays out 
  where each of  the seven masks of Hotep are. Each has 
  a specific magic power, but when the masks are together 
  they open a portal to the Realm of Hotep where a wearer 
  of a Hotep mask can bend reality to his will.  Also, it 
  talks about towns near mask locations and who makes 
  the best pecan pie.  The book spends a lot of time dis-
  cussing pecan pie.
  A History of Civilized Lands – A very human-cen-
  tric and racist history book that spends more time bad 
  mouthing dwarves and elves than actually history. It 
  lays out very specific means of torturing dwarves and 
  elves with anatomy and instruments of implementation. 
  Anyone who reads this book gains a +2 bonus when tor-
  turing dwarves or elves.
  Bishop Terrsh (Keeper)
  Tribe: Keeper
  Trade: The soul of the PC with the alignment closest to 
  lawful good.
  Books: The King in Yellow – A play that will drive the 
  reader insane, literally.  It also is a riddle, that once 
  solved is instructions on how to create a gate to Carcosa.
  The East Apkallu Codex – An index of every book in 
  East Apkallu and where it is located. This is a huge 
  secret. If knowledge of this codex where to get out there 
  would be all out war. It is the most important book in 
  all of East Apkallu.  Bishop Terrsh will never have this 
  book on him.
  The Laws of Lich King Skeletron – A treatise laying out 
  the proper enslavement of conquered peoples. Between 
  the chapters on breaking the will of the masses through 
  starvation and building empire through extreme na-
  tionalism is a section that teaches how to make shackles 
  of enslavement, a magic item that effects the wearer as 
  though charm person had been cast.
  Ortou Snickli (Human)
  Tribe: Solaria
  Trade: A book could be the dowry for marrying his 
  piece of shit, drug addict, vampire sister.
  Books: Ooluun Codex – A holy book for the god Ooluun. 
  Its text describes a different daily ritual for each day of 
  the year based on the alignment of the sun. There is a 
  different magical effect for everyday.  The text also lays 
  out the Ooluun solar calandar.
  Vampiria Ex Stochi – Anyone who touches the book 
  must make a save or suffer a level drain. This can only 
  happen once every 24 hours. If one is drained of their 
  final level they violently transform into a junkie vam-
  pire. The contents of the book are a mix of love poems 
  and potions that are poison for mortals, but narcotics for 
  vampires.
  Home of the Light – An atlas that focuses on trading 
  routes of elves on land and at sea. This atlas also has 
  marked all secret elven gates to other planes, hidden el-
  ven markets along trade routes, and the illusionary trail 
  that leads to elven dragon-lords of Iceheim.
  Scrittles Breeya (Goblin)
  Tribe: Sham
  Trade: Help him become leader of his tribe.
  Books: Xanduku’s Self Hypnosis – This book seems to 
  be simple steps toward relaxation and self hypnosis, but 
  when one finishes the book they instantly morph into a 
  random different class of the same level, and the oppo-
  site gender.
  Mutation Pits, Goblins and Hell – The author describes 
  being a mage for hire for the Goblin King in creating 
  mutation pits all over the continent.  This book has 
  detailed instructions on creating a mutation pit, and has 
  the location of over 50 mutation pits scattered through-
  out the land.
  Book of Awakening – This book is blank with the excep-
  tion of one letter on one page in the center of the tome. 
  Once this letter is read a random spell is cast with the 
  reader as the target, and the reader will never see that 
  letter again. From that moment onward whenever a one 
  is rolled on any die the same spell will be triggered on 
  the reader.  This can be removed with a remove curse 
  spell.
  Droopy Butterneck (Dwarf)
  Tribe: Mushroom
  Trade: Valuable gems
  Books: Modern Nutrition – A vegan cookbook with an 
  obsession with beets. The appendix has a ritual spell on 
  how to reanimate devoured meat while it is being digest-
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  East Apkallu by Steve Albertson
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  ed.
  Rutter Forkbeard – The autobiography of an explorer 
  that claims to have found the pixie emperor Chuglex’s 
  fabled hot springs. The legend says that it heals all 
  wounds and can even grant immortality.
  Power Gibble –  A ten paged illustrated children’s book 
  about a turkey who learns to take a beating like a man. 
  One is invincible while holding the book, but a page 
  from the book is erased every time the owner is struck 
  and would normally take damage.
  Slingback Suik (Halfling)
  Tribe: Solaria
  Trade: Heal his sick mother
  Books: Dirty Dan’s Disco Diary – A work of erotic fic-
  tion set in a futuristic world of giant collars and glowing 
  dance floors.  The five original limestone plates used to 
  make the lithographs that illustrate the book are highly 
  sought after magic items, each with its own properties. 
  The forward of the book gives hints to where the plates 
  are buried with the artists body.
  Book of Taurus – This is a book of nonsensical mad 
  scribblings, but if even one line of this book is read one 
  must make a save or the reader is compelled to stop at 
  nothing to obtain their greatest desires. They are grant-
  ed wishes whenever they speak their desires out loud, but 
  when they do a one-foot horn will burst from a random 
  person’s skin (dealing 1d6 damage) who is within ten feet 
  of the reader when the wish is made. The horn bursts 
  from the reader if there is no one within ten feet. The 
  compel to obtain their greatest desire fades after 24 
  hours of not touching the book, but the wish/horn burst 
  can only be stopped with a remove curse spell.
  Ascension of Light – This is a list of names of celestial 
  nobles and their station. This book explains the use of 
  true names, summoning and binding to call forth these 
  angelic beings to do your bidding (which is normally to 
  gain some sort of power against an evil force).  Anyone 
  who attempts this will suffer the wrath of entire celestial 
  choirs, and they can be very annoying.
  Guntos Hammerspine (Dwarf)
  Tribe: Mushroom
  Trade: Do whatever he asks for 24 hours. (There is 
  dangerous work to be done.)
  Books: Kings of Lehtimaja – This book is a travel guide 
  to Lehtimaja, a gigantic tree whose hollow inside has 
  been built into a tiered garden city.  It has been used for 
  thousands of years as the holy motherland of the wood 
  elf. The book explains how to enter the city, its laws, an 
  overview of each tier, places of wonder to visit, but most 
  importantly where the secret burial sites of each wood elf 
  king is located.
  Between Two Rivers – This book explains the magi-
  cal flora that grows in a hidden garden that can only 
  be accessed through an underwater cave where the two 
  rivers meet, and how to circumvent the guardians of the 
  flaming sword that protect the garden from outsiders.  
  Sample plants: a pear tree that heals all wounds and 
  reverses aging, strawberries that allow one to breath fire, 
  potatoes that 
  give one the strength of giants, blackberries that give the 
  gift of flight.
  Maternal Depths of Nature – This esoteric tome will 
  only make sense to those who speak and understand the 
  secret language of the druid. Those who possess the book 
  can speak with plants as per the spell, but every plant 
  will be unhelpful and violent unless you speak to it in 
  the secret language of the druid.
  Trangur Dransuul (Human)
  Tribe: Ulrich
  Trade: Find and kill the doppelganger amongst the 
  Ulrich tribe.
  Books: Book of Games – There are four sacred games 
  contained in this tome that when played the winner 
  gains a boon, and the loser suffers for the rest of his life. 
  Game 1, fifty coins are arranged on a table. Both players 
  attempt to maneuver them off of the table and into their 
  shoe. The winner becomes completely healthy.  The los-
  er has a random limb shrivel and become useless. Game 
  2, both players take ten dice of whatever side count they 
  would like and roll them all at the same time. They then 
  take those dice and put aside whatever dice they would 
  like and then roll simultaneously again. The first player 
  to have a die set aside for each number one through ten 
  wins. The winner gains one point in their charisma abil-
  ity score. The loser loses two points in their charisma 
  ability score. Game 3, Each player has six d6s. The play-
  ers take turns rolling one die at a time. The roller then 
  has the option of keeping his die roll or trading that die 
  for any one of his opponents. Whoever has the highest 
  total at the end wins. Winner gains 1 intelligence ability 
  point. Loser loses two intelligence ability points. Game 
  4, one player must train a wolf, and the other player 
  must train a bear. Both players and beasts enter a ten 
  foot deep pit and fight with no weapons. The winner 
  is the player who first kills the other player’s animal. 
  Winner gains a +1 when fighting any were-beast. Loser 
  looses a level and contracts lycanthropy.
  Book of Mortality – This book offers top ten: secrets 
  for getting the butt you always wanted, tips for buying 
  leather, markets to buy affordable silk, tricks to applying 
  makeup and yoga positions.  This book is actually a well 
  hidden map to thieves guilds in nearly every major city.
  Testament of Telomeres – This is a very dry oral history 
  of a farmer who protects his family by making sure his 
  daughters marry the right men.  Each of the names of 
  the daughters is actually code for coordinates that lead 
  to The Sphere of Life, an artifact that is rumored to give 
  the gift of eternal youth and beauty.
  Sholgot Mershish (Keeper)
  Tribe: Keeper
  Trade: Help him complete the ritual from Bestiary de 
  Wolff.
  Books: Bestiary de Wolff – A tome that teaches the 
  ancient secrets of evolution. The reader may attempt an 
  elaborate ritual that will force an evolutionary change 
  on their own body.  Save or die when the change occurs.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  East Apkallu by Steve Albertson
  
  189
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Religious Mysteries – This book tells all the secret 
  rituals, doctrine, dogma and history of the world’s most 
  prominent religions, and a few smaller cults. This book 
  is heresy in the hands of the non-indoctrinated.
  Tablet of Trust – This tablet has only the following 
  inscription, “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” 
  When one gives this tablet to another the person receiv-
  ing the tablet must make a save or permanently trust the 
  person handing it to them.
  Wandering Monster table while in the stacks:
  1
  Rival adventuring party
  2
  Jarksa Meed 
  3
  Singur Tarmakuul
  4
  Bishop Terrsh
  5
  Ortou Snickli 
  6
  Scrittles Breeya
  7
  Droopy Butterneck
  8
  Slingback Suik
  9
  Guntos Hammerspine
  10
  Trangur Dransuul 
  11
  Sholgot Mershish
  12
  1d6 Keepers
  13
  2d4 Urich Tribe (Human, Doppelganger)
  14
  2d4 Mushroom Tribe (Dwarf)
  15
  2d4 Solaria Tribe (Human, Halfling, Elf)
  16
  2d6 Sham (Goblin)
  17
  2d4 Junta (Human, Djinni)
  18
  1d6 Demons
  19
  1d8 Mad Mages
  20
  1 Lovecraftian abomination
  *The answer is “the sun.”
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  East Apkallu by Steve Albertson
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Encounters based on proximity to castle.  This chart 
  assumes cities are built around castles that house nobles 
  who oversee a larger demesne.
  Wilderness:   Roll 1d20
  Hinterlands:   Roll 1d30
  Towns: Roll 1d50
  Cities: Roll 1d100
  Where the encounter item is more “plot hook” than 
  “concrete encounter” provide a giant “FOLLOW ME!” 
  clue/oddity in a tone suitable to your campaign world.  I 
  tried to steer clear of any particular magic or technology 
  and included generic factions where appropriate. This 
  chart assumes socio-culturally “appropriate” and “inap-
  propriate” mutations.
  1
  Corpse inside a rotting log. Roll 1d4. Corpse is: 
  1) human child; 
  2) giant feral possum; 
  3) huge, 16 legged spider; 
  4) something mutated beyond comprehension.
  2
  12 ash trees in a perfect circle.  In the middle is a 
  pool of black liquid, which reflects the night sky 
  regardless of time of day, cloud cover, etc.
  3
  BRAIN WASPS!  Slightly larger than regular 
  wasps, a critical hit from them means they man-
  aged to lay eggs inside your brain.  Two failed 
  con rolls and you go crazy (permanent homicid-
  al rage, desire to eat protein and woodpulp) as 
  wasps devour your brain and make a hive out of 
  your skull.
  4
  Huge, skinless bear suffering the final stages of a 
  brainwasp infection.  Upon death the brainwasps 
  fly out, ready to make new homes.
  5
  A perfect square, 60’ to a side, that is entirely 
  devoid of life.  Food spoils immediately, players 
  lose 1 heath every turn they remain in the square.
  6
  Mutated wildmen using a long-buried retail store 
  as an underground village.
  7
  All of the trees have open sores that weep milky, 
  radioactive fluid.
  8
  12 year old child hunting for food for his sick 
  family.  Not above cannibalism.
  9
  Ground infested with lurchworms--a success-
  ful bite on the bottom of a foot means one has 
  “climbed aboard”.  Fail 1 con save to lose 1d3 
  DEX temporarily.  Fail 2 and the loss is perma-
  nent.
  10
  A pack of royal hunting dogs turned feral after 
  their master met his end.
  11
  An alpha wild boar--hideously intelligent.  culti-
  vates fungal “armor” (2 points, no damage from 
  bludgeoning) on his back, neck and forelimbs.  
  Tusks poisoned with lurchworm venom (see 9 
  above).  Can speak the regional tongue.  Not 
  necessarily hostile, but abhors bad manners.
  12
  Corpse farmers.  Graveworms eat corpses.  
  Corpse farmers eat graveworms. Pale, muscular 
  humanoids that scrabble on all fours.  Needle 
  teeth, long, sharp fingers and tongue.  Digging 
  in the area will produce 1d6 buried, decaying 
  bodies and possibly some attendant possessions.
  13
  Poisoned stream.  Drinking it or contact with an 
  open wound produces violent, bloody retching for 
  1d12 hours.
  14
  A sword fused into a stone in the middle of a 
  blasted-out hollow in the wilderness.  Both are 
  lethally radioactive.
  15
  “wild knight”--a former knight who has mu-
  tated beyond reason and can no longer coexist 
  with humans.  Roll 1d6:  On a 1 or 2, completely 
  insane/hostile.  3 or 4, capable of reason, neutral 
  to party.  5 or 6, desperately misses the company 
  of knights, will provide aid in exchange for a few 
  hours’ pleasant company.
  16
  An armored box.  Inside is a tablet with a 
  long-lasting atomic battery.  Can power up and 
  display information, albeit information a thou-
  sand years out of date.
  17
  Crude altar made of bones and slagged metal, 
  dedicated to a deity nobody in the party recog-
  nizes.  Party feels like they are being watched.
  18
  The sound in the distance of one colossal drum 
  beating and reverberating with cyclopean, inhu-
  man slowness.
  19
  Skeleton of a 12 foot tall man, completely undis-
  turbed.
  20
  Junkpit/landfill.  Colonized by filthy, vicious 
  tiny humanoids, who have domesticated 3-foot-
  long ants for food, protection and transportation.
  Weird Encounters
  by Stuart Keating
  stuart.keating@gmail.com
  http://dioxindump.com
  Dear Santicore, roll 1d4. (Basically, for my Pendragon campaign where every knight 
  is a mutant animal from After the Bomb, but you don’t have to know either of those 
  games - OSR stats/ideas are fine.)
  1. Random encounters based on proximity to castles - wilderness, outskirts, towns, 
  cities...
  2. Random equipment based on medieval goods but made from broken stuff of the 
  later 21st century (or near future sci-fi).
  3. A mutation table that is site-based and involves the gain/loss of special animal 
  abilities.
  4. ...Or draw me a castle or tournament feast grounds where 21st century stuff has 
  been used to build medieval structures and tools.
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
   
   
  J. L.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  21
  Farmstead made out of an old airplane.  Roll 
  1d4: Family grows 1) rutabagas 
  2) surprisingly wholesome carrots 
  3) mildly radioactive turnips 
  4) grazing for cattle.
  22
  Religious hermit.  Clothed entirely in vestments 
  made from own hair.  Lives in abandoned bomb 
  shelter.
  23
  “Tooth raiders”--1d8 members of an exceedingly 
  nasty gang who rape, pillage, and leave their 
  victims with torn, toothless mouths.  In a very 
  feisty, combative mood.
  24
  Pastureland made out of an old parking lot--
  junked cars partially overgrown provide lots of 
  hillocks.  Roll 1d6, on a 1 those cars are the lairs 
  of vengeful undead or giant, 16 legged spiders.
  25
  Child separated from his family’s trading cara-
  van.  Exceedingly close inspection proves that 
  the kid is in the early stages of the chattering 
  death [see 26 below], his family will be VERY 
  unhappy to be reunited with him.
  26
  Farmstead devastated by the chattering death-
  -highly contagious (fluid, air).  Plague causes 
  one’s muscles to rapidly contract and expand 
  with such violence that their bones click together 
  (painfully).  80% fatal.  Surviving the plague 
  permanently lowers one’s STR and CON by 1, 
  but you’re permanently immune afterwards.
  27
  Trading caravan, large family.  Have random 
  goods for trade, all of it mildly radioactive.
  28
  Two lovers on the run from their village.  One 
  is the mayor’s eldest child, the other is falling 
  apart from various mutations.  
  29
  RADWITCH:  This wizened creature found 
  something real nasty in the desert wastes and 
  wants eeeeeeeverybody to see it.  Being exposed 
  to her radioactive charm will cause a mutation in 
  1d12 hours.
  30
  Hunting party:  Set of nobles with their servitors, 
  horses and giant, vicious hounds.  Roll 1d4. They 
  are 1) hunting for food for their village hold-
  ings as part of a charitable order. 2) Hunting for 
  outlaws and bandits (“and what are YOU gentle-
  men doing so far from the shelters of the human 
  community?”) 3) Hunting for sport. 4) Hunting 
  humans for sport.
  31
  Funeral procession, everyone is walking back-
  wards.
  32
  Small stronghold made out of shipping con-
  tainers.  Trade depot/fort for devoutly religious 
  extended-family trading clan.
  33
  Court’s in session!  In this village cases are tried 
  via ritual combat involving duels with ironwood 
  staves.  The loser has to remove a finger.  No-
  body in the town has more than 8 fingers.
  34
  Market day!  Freeholders from all over the de-
  mesne have gathered to sell their wares.  You can 
  get food, equipment, slaves, murders, (facsimilie) 
  maidenheads, drugs, etc for barter (no coin al-
  lowed, sorry)--most everything free of radiation.
  35
  The local baron’s men are systematically burn-
  ing every single building in this village.  They 
  appear to be on official (if grim) business.
  36
  Local religious nut is upsetting village folk.
  37
  Local religious nut is riling village folk into a 
  frenzy.  Against the local lord and the mutant 
  knights that he will likely send to destroy them.  
  Probably not a great time to waltz into town 
  wearing armor and weapons, eh?
  38
  Day of celebration remembering the village’s 
  participation in driving out a group of mutants 
  from the surrounding woods.  Feast, speech by 
  village headperson, music/dancing, homemade 
  booze, etc.
  39
  Archery contest!  People are shooting at a par-
  rot chained to the top of a really tall pole.  The 
  parrot is surprisingly conversant and not pleased 
  with the arrows flying at her.
  40
  Local inn is on fire!  Bucket brigade organizing 
  as players arrive.
  41
  Very large, fortified trade depot.  Caravan is 
  arriving and the guard has been doubled.
  42
  The leech priestesses are in town!  Worshipers of 
  the bloodgoddess traveling far from their home 
  lands and spreading their faith through good 
  deeds and proselytization.  They can convey 
  magical healing by removing one of the many 
  leeches covering their veiled bodies, attaching it 
  to someone, and then squeezing the blood out of 
  the leech into the patient.  
  43
  Settlement is completely silent.  Villagers are 
  alive but all asleep in their beds.  Roll 1d4.  1) 
  Players cannot wake the villagers. 2) When 
  players waken the villagers all of the villagers 
  have their personalities swapped.  3)  When 
  players waken the villagers it becomes evident 
  that they’ve been asleep for many years.  They 
  all have triangular scars (long healed) behind 
  their left ears. 4)  The players are getting sleepy.  
  Like, seriously, tremendously, very sleepy...
  44
  Settlement is completely silent.  No villagers 
  anywhere to be found.  Should players dig up 
  graves or open any tombs they will discover that 
  all the corpses are gone too.
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  45
  Settlement is completely silent.  Roll 1d4. 
  1)  Villagers think this is a crisis! They are awed 
  that the adventurers can talk and pantomime 
  beseeching them for help.  
  2) Villagers go about their normal business, don’t 
  see anything wrong with it or notice the players 
  talking.  
  3)  Villagers go about their normal business, 
  don’t see anything wrong with it but get mur-
  derously angry at the any sound of the players’ 
  speech.  
  4)  The players are unable to speak too.
  46
  Giant thunderhead marring an otherwise clear 
  sky.  Thunderhead is centered on a large tower 
  made of blackened, melted rock.  There are lots 
  of iron rods in the ground.
  47
  A bunch of extremely sickly-looking men are 
  lugging random rocks and other debris out of a 
  “mine” (really the triple sub basement of a long-
  razed military facility).  The mined stuff is warm 
  to the touch and makes you ill over time.  The 
  mine overseers are all wearing heavy metal suits 
  of padded armor.
  48
  Village at war with another village located 
  downstream on the same river.  They’re killing 
  captives and leaving their corpses in the river in 
  an attempt to poison the waters.
  49
  “Mutietown”--Hidden village of mutants.  They 
  are friendly if approached with caution but will 
  utterly destroy anyone that threatens to divulge 
  their existence to the outside world.
  50
  Group of rabidly devout acoyltes militant of 
  the Church Of The Sacred Genome.  They’re 
  hunting for a long-rumored enclave of mutants 
  secluded from the civilized world and they’re 
  willing to pay generously for any information.
  51
  Gang of “curse steppers”--kids with lead boots 
  who tromp around in radioactive waste and then 
  threaten to walk through people’s vegetable gar-
  dens, poisoning the plants.
  52
  Citywide bazaar day!  Virtually anything can be 
  found here for a price, regardless of how esoteric.  
  10d20 people in the bazaar plus 1d20 thieves of 
  varying technique, ability and lethality.
  53
  Gl’enn has discovered an old piece of artillery 
  and converted it into a cannon of incredible accu-
  racy (thanks to the rifling in the barrel).  There 
  are 1d20 different factions/individuals/city states 
  that want to kill him, kidnap him or steal his 
  technology and notes.
  54
  Each year the first person to bring a budded 
  elderflower to the queen receives a token of her 
  appreciation along with a gold piece.  The elder 
  trees should be blooming any day now. Everyone 
  is just sort of standing around trees, fights are 
  breaking out around the “lucky” trees, cutpurses 
  are scheming at the entry to the Queen’s Tower, 
  etc.
  55
  The alchemist’s guild has more or less figured 
  out how to create error-free bullets for some 
  heavy-duty six shooters they found.  They’re 
  looking for supplies and field testers.  Hey, only 
  one in six bullets explodes into the tester’s face 
  now!
  56
  It’s harvest time!  There’s a corn maze!  With 
  prizes!  20 minutes after the contestants begin the 
  race the killpriests enter with scythes to “cull the 
  herd” and water the crops with a blood offering.
  57
  The demesne’s two largest settlements have gath-
  ered in the main forecourt of the castle for the 
  annual “grievance brawl”--each town lines up 
  facing each other, runs forward and fights until 
  the church bells toll.  The village with the most 
  standing wins.  There’s a feast afterward (provid-
  ed by the lord of the demesne).
  58
  Most of the more established cities were built 
  on the ruins of ancient, pre-collapse cities.  All 
  those cities had sewer systems.  The sewer system 
  under this city is sentient and hungry.
  59
  Extremely burly, elite guards moving a caravan 
  of books from the castle to the city’s “savants’ 
  guild”.
  60
  Leech priestess (see 42) about to be burned at the 
  stake by The High Church.  If burned she calls 
  the wrath of the bloodgoddess down upon those 
  present.  Boy is that going to be interesting.
  61
  Courier of the Savants’ Guild notices the players 
  weapons and approaches them.  A patron would 
  be interested in mutant corpses for study.  The 
  more mutated (and the fresher) the better.
  62
  City burgher recently converted to the Church of 
  the Sacred Genome.  Citywide purge on mutants, 
  who are being detained in the (unused) sewers 
  underneath the city.
  63
  The (unused) sewers that run underneath the 
  ruins that formed the base for the current city 
  are used as a vast gladiatorial labyrinth, and the 
  local noble gladly pays rewards for any that can 
  make it through.
  64
  Tournament day!  Jousting, melee, “low” enter-
  tainments and a huge feast!  There’s a watchword 
  for the feast and it’s available for a fair bit of coin 
  or a dirty deed.
  65
  The local noble is holding seasonal court.  
  Queues of petitioners and hanged criminals line 
  the main street to the castle forecourt.
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  66
  The Queen is in town!  Anyone without papers 
  will be escorted out of the city.  Firmly.  Anyone 
  openly carrying weapons will be escorted to the 
  gaoll or the grave.  Firmly.
  67
  The Queen is in town!  The days are filled with 
  interminable (and incomprehensible) rites at The 
  High Church.  The nights are filled with hunts 
  for witches (actual or supposed), power doctors, 
  unguilded savants, leechpriestesses and Clerics Of 
  The Holy Genome as her Royal Inquisitors seek 
  to prove the necessity of their upkeep.
  68
  Royal Inquisitors are in city on a routine purge 
  of heretics, dissidents and “warm tech” (see 69).  
  There are 1d6 Inquisitors in full regalia (treat 
  as leveled elite warriors/clerics) along with 2d20 
  men at arms, sumpters, etc.  There’s also 1d4 
  “dark inquisitors”--undercover operatives who 
  are especially lethal and paranoid.
  69
  The players stumble across a side passageway 
  leading to a market that sells “warm tech” 
  (pre-collapse tech, some of it semi-functional; 
  most of it radioactive, all of it re-purposeable as 
  superior materials for goods).  Since the posses-
  sion of “warm tech” is a hanging crime if one 
  isn’t on Savant Guild business, the players come 
  under scrutiny of the market’s spy and security 
  network.
  70
  It’s “turning out” day at the Royal Orphanage.  
  All of the charges who have been there six years 
  (or who have reached some semblance of physical 
  maturity) are kindly evicted from the orphanage 
  with a sack, a few days’ food and some coppers.  
  All manner of despicable folk have flooded the 
  “downtrods” (the part of town where the Or-
  phanage is located) in anticipation of cudgeling 
  out their “annual bonus” from a bunch of de-
  fenseless kids.
  71
  The town’s finest blacksmith has acquired some 
  pre-collapse alloys and has announced plans to 
  produce superior arms and armor from them.  
  The Sisters Of Peace At Any Cost (obscure and 
  somewhat-tolerated splinter order of The High 
  Church) are looking for someone to remove the 
  alloys (or the blacksmith) at any cost, while The 
  Organization Of Men Who Kill For Gold are 
  veeeeery interested in securing a monopoly on the 
  weapons.
  72
  THE DRUMS OF WAR.  The city is mustering 
  men for yet another interminable crusade.  The 
  players are of course ideal conscripts.
  73
  The Organization Of Men Who Kill For Gold 
  have put together a “grand bloodbathe” where 
  doughty fighters can engage in increasingly 
  difficult battles against beasts and men increas-
  ingly exotic.  If you win each of the nine battles 
  (symbolizing each of the nine ranks of The 
  Organization Of Men Who Kill For Gold) you 
  win a suit of “magic armor” (ceramite honey-
  comb reinforced tactical body armor plated with 
  elegantly scrolled aluminum, treat as heavy plate 
  with no armor penalties except for vulnerabili-
  ty to electricity).  Of course, there’s the hidden 
  “tenth battle”, symbolizing the secret (and 
  highest) level of initiation--for a year and a day 
  highly-trained assassins will attempt to kill the 
  bearer of the armor.
  74
  Chattering death outbreak in the local religious 
  hospital.  Knowing that any Royal Inquisitor 
  will order a complete purge of the entire build-
  ing, the healers have been isolating, concealing 
  and eventually disposing of the plague victims in 
  the sewers underneath the city.  It’s only a matter 
  of time before they contaminate the city’s water 
  supply.
  75
  The Sisters Of Peace At Any Cost are looking 
  for a few good “peace warriors” to further their 
  aims, most of which are directed against the de-
  mesne battlemaster (essentially the guy in charge 
  of mustering, equipping and eventually ordering 
  the conscripted men at arms to their deaths).  For 
  starters it would be just dandy to frame him as 
  an apostatic devotee of The Church of the Sacred 
  Genome.
  76
  The regent for the young noble of the demesne 
  has unintentionally (?) hired The Organization 
  of Men Who Kill For Gold to collect this year’s 
  taxes.  They’re quite thorough and effective.
  77
  A few years ago the Savants’ Guild discovered 
  the principles behind the heretofore mysterious 
  processes involved in making bread and beer.  
  Weeklong Yeast Festival.  Everyone is full of ale 
  and the whole city smells like fresh-baked bread.
  78
  Bloodsports for entertainment.  Roll 1d4: 
  1)Dogs baiting a giant, mutated bear; 
  2) slaves fighting a huge, 16 legged spider; 
  3) hyperintelligent boar (see 11) reciting verse 
  while people pay coppers to throw rocks at him; 
  4) Would-be acolytes of the Church Of The Holy 
  Genome going through their initiation ritual 
  through melee combat with gibbering cannibal 
  mutants.
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  79
  Gambling den.  Roll 1d4: 1) Dice (House wins 
  75% of the time); 2) tick-tick-tick (players bet 
  on the poker chip that ticks the most when the 
  geiger counter with eterna-battery passes over it, 
  1-in-20 odds, pays out 18 to 1); 3) Taroker (poker 
  played with Tarot cards, house generally takes 
  10% of the time with five players); 4) Cat races 
  (house runs odds and shaves 10%).
  80
  Gambling den.  Bareknuckle fighting.
  81
  Giant veiled palanquin being borne through city.  
  Contains “leechmother”, a high-ranking leech 
  priestess (see 42).  Her body, mutated through 
  the toothwaters of the Subterranean Cathedral, 
  is grotesque with elephantiasis.  The fluids her 
  body so ably retains bestows upon the leeches that 
  writhe and flop on her nude person the healing 
  abilities that the Leech Priestesses are known for.
  82
  A recently blinded, babbling drunkard insists 
  that some prominent merchants of the Alloys 
  Combine are sheltering the Archelix for the East-
  ern Strand of the Church of the Sacred Genome, 
  a hanging crime (if angry mobs don’t burn you 
  at the stake first).  The Archelix is of course 
  a mutant who can spit blinding venom and an 
  extra-strong skeleton, like all high-level initiates 
  of the Church.
  83
  WHIPPING DAY.  All servants are brought into 
  a public square and each given one whip stroke, 
  on the assumption that over the past year they’ve 
  gotten away with something that deserved it.
  84
  Feral dogs.  They have opposable thumbs.
  85
  Feral children.  They have the vicious teeth of 
  attack dogs.
  86
  One of the city’s tallow renderers has a cart full 
  of animals that died in the street and that cart 
  has broken down.  He’s fending off competing 
  tallow renderers and losing--it’s only a matter of 
  time before he’s knocked unconscious and loses 
  his day’s livelihood. He asks the players for help.
  87
  By accident (it seems) the players receive a cryp-
  tic invitation to dinner.  The dinner is hosted by 
  an elite society that finds exotic mutants (hu-
  mans or otherwise) gastronomically interesting.
  88
  Sword swallower makes fatal mistake.
  89
  2d6 brigands armed with repurposed “warm 
  tech” (69) weapons (treat as +1, 10% chance 
  they’re radioactive) interested in the players 
  armor.  And coin.
  90
  Man covered in sores smiles through his bleeding 
  gums and tells the players that he knows of some 
  “warm tech” (69) that can “make muties right 
  again.”  He’s willing to say more, for a price.
  91
  Players stumble upon a band of Sisters Of Peace 
  At Any Cost using their white-steel daggers to 
  ruthlessly cut down some men in leather armor 
  (low-level initiates of The Organization Of Men 
  Who Kill For Gold).
  92
  Street gang of shaved orangutans.
  93
  Pack of trained cats steals something from play-
  ers on a 5 in 6.
  94
  Giant horns blare from the Savants Guild.  Ev-
  eryone in the city immediately makes a forked 
  sign towards the East and runs into their houses.  
  Any food exposed to the open air is thrown into 
  the street uneaten.
  95
  Public examination of several Apprentice Savants 
  of the Savants guild.  Roll 1d4. 1) Alchemy; 
  2) “warm tech” (see 69); 
  3) Mutant anatomy; and 
  4) poisons and antidotes.  Obviously mayhem 
  should ensue.
  96
  Squad of Savants Militant from the Savants Guild 
  practicing their arts on tough-looking passers-by.  
  Ambush with smoke bombs, nets and staves.
  97
  Men lined up for the barber.  A decree from the 
  High Church has demanded a beard tithe, and 
  the Royal Inquisitors are rumored to be in town.  
  All the hair will be burned in a midnight ceremo-
  ny of unknown purpose or origin.
  98
  The Hauteknechts of the demesne are showing 
  their skills.  Archery, knife throwing, demonol-
  ogy, riding, physical prowess and combat.  The 
  demesne Nobility are in attendance and looking 
  for fresh knights.  Challengers accepted.
  99
  Huge, multicolored fire from the Savants’ Guild.  
  Though the fire appears to be illusory/ethereal, 
  the savants are terrified and performing warding 
  rituals.
  100
  The altar of the Cathedral of the High Church is 
  actually an active thermonuclear warhead.  The 
  high priest has mutated such that he can survive 
  on the latent radiation.
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  Alcazar Of Profligacy
  by Courtney Campbell
  Http://hackslashmaster.blogspot.com
  The Hell of the Outer Realms
  Moloch doesn’t want to be a devil. He hates his addic-
  tion to the rush of parents slaying their children. So he 
  fled one hell for another.
  Alcazar of Profligacy
  In the cold of space, above your realm, lies a wasteland. 
  In a field of long depleted asteroids it is choked with 
  debris and filth. A hunting ground for the violent or des-
  perate seeking to destroy and salvage mining constructs 
  long gone mad. 
  In the center? The Alcazar of Profligacy.
  Moloch runs this decadent pleasure palace. It keeps the 
  demons from killing him by both fulfilling their dark 
  and depraved needs and by the threat of having their 
  plans exposed; the little tidbits of knowledge gained by 
  extracting their secrets from the brains of his pleasure 
  servants. It also fulfills the hollow core in his demon 
  heart for the souls of children slain by his parents; 
  Idora, his medusa madam is also a physick specialized in 
  fetal discontinuation. 
  The Alcazar of Profligacy accepts both ships docking at 
  various ports, as well as having a number of portals to 
  the realm below.
  Moloch is Moloch, the Arch-Devil
  His Employees
  Black Goblins (AC 7[13], HD 2, Att: Bite or Implement, 
  1-4+Bleed or 1-6, Mv 60’, ML 5, XP 15)
  These are the ubiquitous servants. They have jet black 
  skin that sparkles. They are responsible for cleaning the 
  environment and stocking all services. They do this by 
  using their vat-modified tongues to clean and consume 
  all organic waste. This is crystallized into a salt (dust) 
  in their Duodenum and excreted through their skin. 
  These excretions are collected and fed to the slaves as a 
  pleasure drug. Their Duodenum crystallizes into a black 
  sparkling jewel upon death and can be extracted and 
  sold. 
  Black Orcs (AC 2[18], HD 4, ATT: Raygun, 1-8+5x2, 
  Mv 90’, ML 9, XP 200)
  These are the guards, fitted head-to-toe in storm trooper 
  armor and never speaking, having their vocal cords and 
  genitalia removed. Their skin is black like their armor 
  and they are trained to be very still and blend into the 
  background. Upon death, their acid blood boils out of 
  their armor, spraying everyone within 10’ for 1-10 dam-
  age for 1-4 rounds. They attack with multi-colored ray 
  guns.
  The pleasure slaves (AC 11[9], HD 1, ATT: None, MV 
  120’, ML 12, XP 1)
  Sadly Moloch lacks the powers of creation, hence why he 
  must acquire and transform his servants from the planet 
  below. His slaves are captured and transformed in the 
  vats into various pleasure slaves. Many have physical 
  modifications to make them more pleasing to a variety 
  of clients. These range from fur, to the ability to appear 
  as any physical shape or size, to rewired brains. All are 
  compliant and pleasant with any commands given by 
  anyone.
  Idora, Medusa Madam (AC 8[12], HD 4, Att: Snake-
  bite, 1-6+Poison, MV 90’, ML 8, XP 245, Special: 
  Petrifying Gaze)
  Idora loves suffering! Enthusiastically! Her gaze does 
  not turn people into stone, but saps all their humanity , 
  making them malleable husks. She never does this to her 
  victims, subjecting them to the harshest torture for hours 
  while laughing and screeching manically. When calm, 
  she is often snarky and passive aggressive, teasing those 
  nearby and then shoving her servants at them to shut 
  them up. she despises the customers, but continues to 
  entertain them because of how much she loves. her. job! 
  (Mysterious, Oblivious, Really completely pleasant)
  Gunther Castille (AC 8[12], HD 4+8, Att: Weapon, 
  1-8+2, Mv 90’, ML 9, XP 240)
  Gunter is in charge of the more prosaic pleasures, Drugs, 
  Gambling, Torture. Wears magical leather that assists 
  his physical Constitution and a magical blade that is 
  invisible. (Impulsive, Obedient, Asks questions in a high 
  pitched voice)
  His Customers
  Joe Jackson, an “Ogre” (AC 4[16], HD 5+2, Att: Fist, 
  1-12, MV 90’, Ml 9, XP 660, Special: Spells
  Joe’s appearance is that of a large human, in a long 
  coat. He is responsible for managing the slave trade, 
  and insuring that a steady sequence of slave arrive. He is 
  an Ogre Magi, and keeps up the illusion in person. He 
  also has a variety of other spell-like powers: Alter Self, 
  Sleep, Charm Person, Gaseous Form, and Cone of Cold. 
  (Childish, Rascal, From a Barbaric Culture, An excel-
  lent hunter) 
  Edward Rawlings (AC 10[10], HD 1, Att: bitchslap, 
  1-2, MV 120’ ML 3, XP 5)
  Edward is typical of a client in the Alcazar of Profliga-
  cy. Pudgy, weak, arrogant and incompetent, his list of 
  virtues is long, typically supported by the fact that he 
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A totally random scifi adventure thingy that includes the elements of (choose any) 
  goblins in space, a space brothel/harem , mining asteroids, orcs in space, grim dark, 
  robots run amok or pleasure bots or both, rayguns that shoot weird colors, a snarky 
  medusa, ninja cats, a heist,  and odd ways to get back to the surface 
  any or all, these are just gonzo suggestions for either , random tables are super cool, 
  an adventure, art, a map, a bit of fiction, a randomized setting, new monsters, i am 
  game for anything and everything, as little as you want to do or as much as you want 
  to do. just sci fi and fantasy GONZO
  Thanks, 
   
   
   
  J. A.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  Alcazar Of Profligacy by Courtney Campbell
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  is fabulously wealthy. (Lippy, Pathological, Nosy and 
  looking for a way to blackmail those around him)
  Baron Hurkoveen (AC 8[14], HD 2, Att: Poison 
  Breath, Death, MV 20’, ML 3, XP 100)
  Another Grotesque Client, fat and sadistic. His bulbous 
  suit is enchanted with a mild levitation spell allowing 
  him to move his 600 pound bulk around. (Melancholy, 
  Capricious, Deals poorly with stress)
  The Station
  The station is organized in various rings.
  Outer ring is docking and supply storage. In order to 
  enter the further ring, customers must pay for the level 
  of service they wish to receive. They also have the option 
  of protection. For the low price of 10,000 gold pieces the 
  customers can take a pill that will render them immune 
  to any ‘accidents’ upon the station. (Regen 2, immuni-
  ty to acid, fire, cold, and poison. Resistant to weapon 
  attacks). This pill is of course, neutralized on a whim by 
  Molach, Idora, or Gunther.
  The first ring contains entertainment, restaurants, gam-
  bling and other services. This is the most populated ring 
  and the one most likely to experience violence between 
  patrons. 
  The second ring is the first ring of decadence. Here 
  one can find flesh for sale and have your more depraved 
  needs met.
  The third ring is evil. Life can be sacrificed and nothing 
  is forbidden. 
  The hub are the quarters for the owners and secret stor-
  age.
  The station is partially in hell, so one can leave by plane 
  shifting. Attempting to access the Astral or the Ethereal 
  will land you in the plane of Dreams, which will also 
  allow you to return home. Accessing the plane of shadow 
  will transport you to a random location within the hells.
  The Plots
  Someone related to the characters is kidnapped to be 
  turned into a pleasure slave. 
  (Sadly, the vat process is irreversible) 
  They get transported here in a magical storm or find a 
  portal that leads to the palace. Conversely they dock low 
  on supplies.
  They have been before and heard that one of the patrons 
  is buying a whole section of a ring from Moloch, using 5 
  grams of pure hope. 
  (http://hackslashmaster.blogspot.com/2013/03/on-top-
  ten-types-of-magical-currency.html)
  They are hired to provide young humans/goblins/or orcs 
  for what seems to be an exorbitant price.
  Once a month, before the deposit is made, it is said they 
  convert the take of 3-4 million gold into soulstuff trans-
  ported to the demon realm. With wealth like that, there 
  aren’t enough people to keep you from taking it.
  One of the hirelings or a demon wants to replace Mo-
  loch, and needs the player characters to do it.
  A group of nymphs and dryads was captured. Bast (or 
  another minor deity) has trained several cats in the arts 
  of ninjitsu, and they have slowly begun to infiltrate the 
  Alcazar.
  The Alcazar is actually a fairly easy way for a large 
  number of people to gain access to various places in hell, 
  though the entire operation and process must be obfus-
  cated for such a thing is not allowed.
  Moloch desperately wants to reform but sees no way 
  to do so, even with the players help. Perhaps they can 
  reform him?
  It is best if all of these happen simultaneously.
  NPC’s were created with the help of the book “On the 
  Non-Player Character”, by me, Courtney Campbell. 
  http://www.lulu.com/shop/courtney-campbell/on-the-
  non-player-character/paperback/product-21094131.html
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  Alcazar Of Profligacy by Courtney Campbell
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  The Secrets at the 
  End of Pier 9
  by Stuart Duncan
  stuart.duncan@gmail.com
  http://www.packetlost.net
  During the day everything seems normal with the ware-
  house on pier 9, cargo liners come and go, cranes and 
  forklifts move containers around and seagulls squawk at 
  passers-by. When the other warehouses shut down, the 
  one on pier 9 only gets busier. Gone are the longshore-
  men who work there during the day, instead replaced 
  by men in dark suits armed with assault rifles. Humvees 
  patrol the perimeter and black helicopters come and go 
  in the dark. The secret they protect isn’t inside the ware-
  house, no it’s below, a research facility that only a select 
  few know about.
  The Job
  The team is hired by a new acquaintance, Naomi Hagen, 
  to find her boyfriend John Westinghouse. Naomi has 
  come to the PCs well prepared and has already identified 
  the location of John in a secret research facility beneath 
  pier 9. She only wants the PCs for muscle to get past 
  security and insists she come with them as she wants to 
  be there when the PCs rescue John. If the PCs seem re-
  sistant she reveals she’s a capable hacker and can always 
  take the job to another team.
  What’s really going down?
  Two years ago Naomi was hired to obtain the R&D for 
  project Mokoi, a project to develop the next generation 
  of super solider being fronted by Peter Brackhurst, a 
  government official. Naomi developed a close relation-
  ship with Peter until she obtained information on the 
  research facility, including its location.
  Naomi then befriended a local solider and hacked 
  his personal records to get him transferred to project 
  Mokoi as a test subject in the hopes she could use their 
  relationship to get the data she needed. Unfortunately 
  for Naomi she underestimated Project Mokoi and John 
  never returned once he was transferred. Now Naomi 
  has approached the PCs to get her into the facility so 
  she can steal the data. Once she has completed her job 
  and is within sight of her escape she intendeds to betray 
  the PCs. In the eyes of Project Mokoi she wants this to 
  appear as a failed rescue attempt.
  Legwork
  If the PCs perform any background checks on the ware-
  house or Naomi they discover the following:
  The Warehouse
  Naomi Hagen
  Low 
  Success
  Naomi’s surveillance 
  confirms there is 
  a facility beneath 
  the pier and the 
  warehouse is not the 
  primary target.
  Locally Nao-
  mi doesn’t have 
  any friends, only 
  acquaintances. She 
  was seeing a soldier 
  – John Westing-
  house.
  Moderate 
  Success
  Closer investigation 
  reveals that a mi-
  nority of the guards 
  are on the perimeter.
  1 year ago Naomi 
  was photographed 
  on the arm of Peter 
  Brackhurst at a 
  charity gala.
  Highly 
  Successful
  There are scientists 
  as well as guards. 
  Occasionally a suit 
  – Peter Brackhurst 
  makes an appear-
  ance.
  Naomi is linked 
  to the hacker alias 
  “Ghostpoet”. No 
  one can be found to 
  vouch for her. They 
  all disappeared. 
   
   
   
  The Encounter
  Naomi has obtained the R&D she needs and has trig-
  gered an alarm dividing herself from the PCs but not 
  before being spotted by Peter Brackhurst. Wounded, 
  Peter initiates the self-destruct sequence. The cryotubes 
  holding the super soldiers spill open, some are liquefied 
  flesh still unbound to their metal bones. Others emerge 
  screaming in agony using their cybernetic strength 
  to tear the flesh from their bodies. Still more stumble 
  forward only to collapse without the power to continue. 
  Only John Westinghouse remains, the drugs flowing 
  through his blood and the machines in his flesh have 
  made him the ultimate combatant. John’s only directive 
  is to ensure no one makes it out alive in the next 10 min-
  utes until the bulkheads breach and bring the weight of 
  the ocean down from above.
  Naomi 
  “Ghostpoet” 
  Hagen
  Peter Brackhurst
  John 
  Westing-
  house
  Arche-
  type
  Femme 
  Fatale/
  Hacker
  Corrupt Govern-
  ment Offical
  Super 
  Soldier
  High 
  Stat
  Manipulation
  Leadership
  Combat
  Agenda
  Obtain the 
  R&D and set 
  the PCs up as 
  fall guys
  Develop the next 
  generation of 
  solider without 
  soiling his public 
  image.
  Destroy 
  the 
  facility.
   
   
  Dear Santicore, I would like...
  A warehouse (or something similar) set in a near future world 
  that is hiding the entry to a secret underground research 
  facility.
  Thanks,  
   
  R. C.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  The Secrets at the  End of Pier 9 by Stuart Duncan
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  Author’s notes
  I intend this adventure to be more about the relationship 
  between Naomi and the PCs than the research facility 
  beneath Pier 9.  Naomi is the real villain and the gam-
  emaster should slowly be building the mistrust between 
  her and the PCs until the time she betrays them. The 
  NPC Peter Brackhurst is there to provide a counter to 
  Naomi. He has a personal stake in capturing Naomi 
  once he knows she’s in the facility and she knows this. 
  John Westinghouse should appear crashing out of a glass 
  cryotube like drug fuelled Frankenstein. Until the drugs 
  where off his purpose is to destroy the facility around 
  him but if the PCs can break through the drugs and 
  brainwashing he is their best chance of escape. 
  Keywords
  I’m not going to draw a map or provide every encounter. 
  Instead I merely go to provide a list of keywords that 
  will hopefully assist you in creating them for yourselves.
  Drugs, cybernetics, brainwashing, super soldiers, re-
  search scientists, Submarine, Humvee, helicopter, As-
  sault rifles, Spotlights, Cargo Containers, Self-Destruct, 
  Cranes, Vaults, Laser Tripwires, Proximity Mines, 
  Syringes,  White floors, Fluorescent Lights, LEDs, 
  Cryotubes, Ichor.
  Secret Santicore 2013 VII/  ENCOUNTERS 
  The Secrets at the  End of Pier 9 by Stuart Duncan
  
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  Table of Contents: Treasure & Magic items, NPCs, Places, Encounters
  A silly little message to slap the rump 
  of 2013 Santicore’s Sequel slump*!
  Don’t forget to get Volume I**
  then Volume III when March is done!
  *Kidding! The entries here are amazing. Hit after hit. 
  Thank you, everyone!
  **by clicking “Volume I” or going here: 
  http://metalvsskin.blogspot.com/2014/01/secret-santicore-2013-volume-1-now-with.html
  http://metalvsskin.blogspot.com/
  
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