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  FB-8006
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  Alice’s
  Adventures:
  Why does her story continue to resonate, 
  infusing every corner of popular culture?
  For over 150 years Lewis Carroll’s characters are so 
  memorable they have become stars in their own right – 
  the jittery rabbit always running late, the batty 
  Mad Hatter, the impetuous Queen of Hearts, and the 
  curious girl at the centre of it all. The hero is not a 
  typical man of action but an ordinary girl who is 
  inquisitive and polite, yet willing to speak her mind. 
  Lewis Carroll had a unique ability to recreate the childhood 
  world, exciting the imagination and making adults feel like 
  children again. Escaping your everyday life and tumbling into a 
  whimsical world of nonsense and mockery has universal appeal. 
  Wonderland is a world of discovery where normal rules do not 
  apply. Despite being a child, Alice is more logical and 
  well-mannered than the adults, turning reality on its head.
  Alice helps makes sense of chaos. Consider it a survival guide 
  to a bizarre, topsy-turvy world. Perhaps in our modern times, 
  where news can be stranger than fiction, we need stories about 
  being the only sane person in a mad, mad world.
  
  4
  Written by 
  Joel Marler
  Edited by 
  Stefan Jones & 
  Steve Crompton
  Illustrations by
  John Tenniel & 
  Steve Crompton
  Published by Flying Buffalo
  A Solitaire Adventure for 
  Also compatible 
  with older versions of T&T
  Solo No. 6
  
  5
  Alice in Weirdworld
  Written by Joel Marler
  Alice in Weirdworld is a Tunnels & Trolls solitaire
  adventure by Joel Marler. Adapted from Lewis Carroll’s public
  domain books Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and 
  Alice Through the Looking Glass. 
  Dedicated to Lewis Carroll.
  Playtested /Proofed by Mark Wrynn & Paul Wastney 
  No part of this book may be reproduced 
  or transmitted in any form or by any means, 
  electronic or mechanical, including 
  photocopying, recording or computerization, 
  or by any information storage and retrieval 
  system, without permission in writing 
  from the publisher.
  ISBN: 978-0-9836929-6-6  
  Product #: FBI-8006
  Solo No. 6
  First Printing February 2020
  All materials Copyright 2020 by Flying Buffalo, 
  2020. Tunnels & Trolls was originally created by 
  Ken St. Andre.  T&T and Tunnels & Trolls 
  are trademarks of Flying Buffalo Inc .
  For more info, visit www.flyingbuffalo.com 
   
  Special thanks to Rick Loomis, Flying Buffalo’s founder and 
  the first person to write a T&T solitaire adventure.  
  He shall be missed...
  
  6
  Tunnels &Trolls is one of the easiest Role-Playing Games to play. Once 
  you know how, you can roll up a character in less than 10 minutes. T&T is 
  best known for all its solo adventures that ONE person can play. And like 
  any RPG, you can play it with a group of your friends. We have a series of 
  solitaire & GM (Game Master) adventures that you can run. 
  This Mini version of the T&T rules will give you what you need to roll up 
  a character, customize them, get them equipped and ready for adventuring.  
  We’ll also give you a little info on how to run an adventure for your friends.  
  Remember that these are mini-rules and in the full Deluxe T&T Rulebook, 
  you have many more options and choices. These mini-rules will give you 
  just the basics, but plenty enough to enjoy some fantasy role-playing!
  You need a 
  Character sheet
  On page 12 & 16 are pre-rolled 
  player characters (PCs) that you 
  can use for playing. There are also 
  blank character sheets on page 13, 
  so you can create your own char-
  acters. In T&T, characters may 
  be any gender or kindred, and the 
  basic character is presumed to be a 
  Human being. But you can also be 
  an elf, or a hobb. (dT&T has many 
  other options.)  Below is what the 
  info on the character sheet means.
  Rolling up 
  a character
  For creating your character, you 
  need three 6-sided dice (3d6). Roll 
  the three dice and add up the total. 
  Now write that down on a separate 
  piece of paper. Do that 8 times. 
  The 8 numbers you have rolled 
  will be your character’s attributes. 
  T&T characters have 8 attributes: 
  4 physical attributes: Strength 
  (STR), Constitution (CON), Dex-
  terity (DEX) Speed (SPD); and 
  4 mental attributes: Intelligence 
  (INT or IQ), Luck (LK), Wizard-
  ry (WIZ), and Charisma (CHR). 
  It is best to assign the higher rolls 
  to STR, LK, DEX, and SPD if one 
  is going to be a fighter. If the char-
  acter is going to rely on magic, it 
  is best to assign the higher values 
  to INT, DEX, WIZ, and CHR. 
  However, you may assign them as 
  you wish.
  Super Rare: TRIPLES 
  When rolling all three dice, if you 
  roll triples (3 dice with the same 
  number) add their total up and 
  roll again. Then add that roll  
  total to the triples you just rolled. 
  This will make for a more
   powerful attribute, but it 
  doesn’t happen too often. 
  T&T: AN INTRODUCTION
  By Ken St Andre & Steve Crompton
  
  7
  Each of the attributes is important (more or less so de-
  pending on the character type you choose) and may be 
  called upon in the course of play. Attributes also help 
  determine what weapons and armor may be used, or 
  what magical spells are known and can be cast. 
  You’ll use these attributes to cast spells, use weapons, 
  and take other actions while you play. 
  ABOUT DICE: You will see notations like “2d6” or 
  “5d6+2” in these rules. A “D6” is an ordinary, cube-
  shaped, six-sided die. The first number is the number of 
  dice to roll. Toss that many dice, and add up the spots. 
  The “+2” means to add two to the result of the 5d6 roll.”
  Choose your Kindred 
  (Human, Elf, Hobb or Dwarf)
  A kindred is a race or species such as humans, elves, 
  dwarves, and so forth. Here we’ll only talk about 4 
  kindreds: humans, elves, hobbs and dwarves. 
  (In Deluxe T&T, but you can play lots of others 
  including monsters.) What kindred you choose can 
  modify your character’s attributes. In dT&T a modifier 
  is what you multiply the base attribute by to get the 
  final initial value. For the mini-rules we’ll make the 
  modifiers super easy, so here’s what you to do to your 
  character’s attributes based on what kindred you pick. 
  Humans: All attributes remain the same as you rolled 
  them, as humans receive no modifiers at all. However, 
  humans get to reroll saving rolls a second time (more 
  about that later.) 
  Elves: Add 3 to your IQ, WIZ, DEX and CHR attri-
  butes. Subtract 2 from your CON. All other attributes 
  stay the same. (usually taller than humans)
  Dwarves: Add 10 to your STR and CON. Subtract 4 
  from LK. All other attributes stay the same. (shorter)
  Hobbs: Subtract 4 from STR and SPD. Add 5 to CHR. 
  Add 3 to LK and DEX. Add 4 to WIZ. 
  All other attributes stay the same. (shorter than humans)
  Characters also have physical characteristics such as 
  height, weight, hair color, age, etc. You may choose 
  these without rolling dice, as long as the choice seems 
  reasonable to the game master. Use the pre-rolled char-
  acter sheet on page 12 & 16 as a guide to the general 
  height/weight of the kindreds you chose. It doesn’t 
  matter whether a character’s skin or hair is black, 
  white, red, or green - choose whatever you’d like them 
  to have. Player characters (PCs) are run by the play-
  ers. Non-player characters (NPCs) are run by the GM.
  You also get to decide what their personality is like.  
  Are they serious or playful, shy or outgoing? Do they 
  like to study/read or do they prefer the outdoors? YOU 
  get to decide all this as you Role-Play the character you 
  have created. (In dT&T you get to add talents to your 
  character, but we aren’t using them in the mini-rules.)
  Pick your Character Type 
  You get to pick what type your character is. Type gives 
  your character additional powers and bonuses while 
  playing. The character types in the T&T mini-rules are 
  Warrior, Wizard and Rogue. The Deluxe rules have 
  even more types, but these three are the main ones.  
  Any kindred can be whatever type you want.
  Warriors are superb physi-
  cal combatants, proficient with 
  most weapons, able to use armor 
  better than other character types, 
  and totally unable to cast magi-
  cal spells. Warriors get an extra 
  six-sided dice (d6) for combat 
  with each level they attain. Thus 
  a sword worth 3d6 in combat to 
  most first level characters is worth 4d6 to a first level 
  warrior. (Character levels are discussed on page 14.)
  Wizards are spellcasters, pro-
  ficient in the theory and practice 
  of magic. Once a wizard learns a 
  spell, they know it forever. Spells 
  require energy. That comes from 
  the WIZ attribute. They also 
  require a minimum INT & DEX to 
  master. Note that wizards are per-
  fectly able to wear armor and fight with weapons, but 
  due to their lack of training, they do not get to use their 
  combat adds with any weapon worth more than 2d6. 
  Rogues are characters that can 
  do both—fight and cast magic. 
  Rogues never got the years of 
  training that make warriors so good 
  at combat, nor did they get the 
  magical training that all wizards 
  have. They don’t fight as well as 
  warriors, or cast spells as well as 
  wizards, but they can do both. They do not get any 
  of the bonuses that Wizards and Warriors get. People 
  confuse Rogues with thieves, and play them that way, 
  but they usually are just street-wise survivors. 
  
  8
  How to do Combat 
  The heart of any role-playing game is its combat 
  system. T&T has one of the simplest combat systems 
  around, but even it has complications. When judging 
  combat, the basic thing to consider is: What is 
  reasonable under the circumstances.
  Almost all fights break down into Us vs. Them 
  situations. The players (the adventurers) fight their 
  enemies (usually the monsters) as one group vs. the 
  other group. (When more than three characters are in 
  a fight, we call that Melee combat.) Both sides have 
  weapons, and weapons are rated with dice. For exam-
  ple: bare hands are worth 1 die, a dagger is worth 
  2 dice, a sword is worth 3 dice and so forth. We roll 
  our dice and get a total; they roll their dice and they 
  get a total. The hit point totals are compared; the 
  smaller is subtracted from the larger; and the losing 
  party takes the difference in hit points. Divide the hit 
  points among the monsters or the party (whichever 
  side lost the round. Hit points reduce a monster’s 
  Monster Rating, or a character’s Constitution (CON).
  Let’s do a very simple example: Alice is lost in the 
  forest and gets attacked by Goblin Bugzi. Alice has a 
  dagger worth 2d6. Bugzi has a spear worth 3d6. They 
  fight. Alice rolls a 1 and a 1, so Alice’s combat total is 
  2. Bugzi rolls a 4, 3, and a 2, so his combat total is 9. 
  Bugzi’s 9 minus Alice’s 2 equals 7, so 
  Alice is going to take 7 hit points of damage. Alice 
  has a CON value of 12. So 12 -7 is 5. Alice is badly 
  hurt, but she can still fight. Combat round 2: Alice does 
  better, rolling 5, 2 for a total of 7. Bugzi is still the 
  better fighter with a better weapon. He rolls 6, 6, 2 for 
  a total  of 14.  14 -7 = 7.  Alice has to take another 7 
  hits. 3 -7 = -4. Alice loses and she is out of the fight.  
  T&T combat can get more complicated, but the basic 
  principle remains the same. You can do groups: say 
  3 humans vs. 10 goblins. Humans roll a grand total of 
  30. Goblins roll 45. Humans have to take 15 points of 
  damage. They divide the damage among themselves 
  however they can to avoid being killed. 
  What are  Combat Adds?
  Weapons are not the only thing that determines the 
  outcome of combats. One must also consider the 
  basic abilities and strengths of the fighters. These are 
  wrapped up in a number called combat adds. Combat 
  adds are added to 
  the weapon scores. 
  Combat adds are 
  derived from the 
  attributes that make 
  a character better in 
  combat. Strength, 
  because the harder 
  you hit, the more 
  damage you do; 
  Dexterity, because the more skillful you are in land-
  ing your blows, the more damage you will do; Luck, 
  because well duh; and Speed, because the more blows 
  you manage to strike within a time limit, the more 
  damage you will do. Anything above 12 in those 4 
  attributes produces combat adds. Strength of 15 pro-
  duces 3 adds; Dexterity of 16 produces 4 adds; Luck 
  of 12 produces 0 adds and Speed of 13 produces 1 add.
  Bearing that in mind, let’s do our simple example 
  again. Alice’s friend LirenTi is looking for Cassio in 
  the forest and she finds him a few minutes after Bugzi 
  beat Alice up. LirenTi has 9 combat adds, so she is 
  both strong and fast. Bugzi has zero.
  LirenTi also has a dagger worth 2 dice. Bugzi has his 
  3 dice spear. Let’s fight! LirenTi rolls 7 and adds 11 
  for her combat adds for a total of 18. Bugzi rolls 13. 
  The goblin still has the better weapon, but he is no 
  longer the better fighter. Bugzi takes 5 hits on his 
  CON, which was only 8 to begin with. Seeing how 
  this is likely to end, Bugzi gets smart and runs away. 
  In a T&T combat, both sides have combat adds, even 
  if the value of the adds = zero. The combat totals are 
  determined by the sums 
  of the weapons dice plus 
  the party’s combat adds.
  Fighting 
  Against 
  Monsters
  Instead of attributes, 
  monsters often have a 
  simple Monster Rating 
  (MR). MR shows the amount of damage the monster 
  can take before being defeated, and how well it fights. 
  See the table for how many dice (D6) the monster rolls 
  in combat. Its combat adds are equal to half of its MR; 
  these are reduced as damage suffered reduces the 
  NUMBER 
  OF DICE
  MONSTER 
  RATING   
  1 - 9
  10 - 19 
  20 - 29
  30 - 39
  40 - 49 
  etc...
  1 
  2 
  3
  4
  5
  etc...
  
  9
  monster’s MR. (But combat dice are not reduced as 
  the monster suffers damage.) Monsters who only 
  have monster ratings also have weapons and adds. 
  If I tell you that you are attacked by a lion, you should 
  know what the lion’s weapons are: teeth and claws. 
  So if the lion has a monster rating of 40 then we know 
  its weapons (teeth and claws) are worth 5d6 and it has 
  20 combat adds. (see MR chart on previous page.)
   
  Combat with monsters work the same way. LirenTi is 
  out walking in the forest when she is attacked by a lion. 
  The lion rolls 4, 3, 2, 2, 1 + 20 combat adds. LirenTi  
  rolls 3, 4 + 6 combat adds. Lion’s 32 total – LirenTi’s 
  13 total = -19. LirenTi had a Constitution of 10, but 32 
  – 13 = -19 hits. Poor LirenTi - eaten by a lion.
  Surprise Attacks
  There are other factors involved in combat, and they 
  may change the outcome. Surprise happens when one 
  party attacks while the other is helpless, asleep or 
  otherwise unaware that they are being attacked. The 
  surprised party does not get to make a combat roll 
  for the first combat round in this situation. Let’s say 
  LirenTi met that lion when it was asleep and decided 
  to attack it. She rolls her dice (poorly) getting 1, 1 plus 
  6. Lion gets zero. LirenTi wins, inflicting 8 points of 
  damage. Lion’s monster rating goes down from 40 to 
  32. Lion wakes up and fights. It still gets 5 dice 
  because it started as a 5 dice monster, but only gets 16 
  combat adds (half its MR rating.) LirenTi has hurt the 
  lion, but is probably going to die as the combat goes on.
   Equipping Your Character
  To make things a little easier, let’s give your new 
  character 250 gold pieces (gp) that can be used to 
  buy weapons and armor for adventuring. Usually 
  there are STR and DEX requirements to use certain 
  items, but in the mini-rules we aren’t worrying about 
  that. Also for missile weapons like arrows, assume 
  they always hit their target. Below is a very short list 
  of some basic items you can buy. The Deluxe T&T 
  rulebook has hundreds of detailed weapons and ar-
  mor, if you want to really customize your character. 
  Note: For the Alice in Weirdworld solitaire, you can 
  only bring one weapon that uses up to 3 dice, and 2 
  pieces of armor that totals up to 3 hits. 
      Protective Armor
  Armor can affect how combat goes. Armor is protec-
  tive clothing of any sort that will always stop some 
  of the damage from getting through. Armor is rated 
  in terms of how much damage it can prevent. For 
  example: a small shield can stop 3 points of damage. 
  Leather armor can stop 6 points of damage. Let’s do 
  an example: Alice is friend to LirenTi and Devina. 
   
  WEAPONS
  Weapon Item          Details       Damage    
  Cost
  Dagger  
        8 inches     2d6  
  10 gp 
  Short Sword        28 inches     2d6 +3 
  35 gp
  Samurai Sword     36 inches    3d6      
  66 gp
  Small Spear           4ft long    3d6 +1   
  50 gp
  Small Axe 
        3lb head    3d6  
  63 gp
  Light Bow 
     +24 arrows    2d6 +2 
  40 gp
  Throwing Stars    (15 stars)    2d6  
  30 gp
  Magic Wand (Wizards/Rogues)   0 
              80 gp 
  Magic Staff (Wizards/Rogues)  2d6           100 gp 
    
  ARMOR
  Armor Item             Details           Hits    
  Cost
  Metal Gauntlets        Pair  
         2  
  30 gp
  Small Shield       2ft across          3  
  25 gp 
  Medium Shield     3ft across         3  
  45 gp
  Small Helmet       top of head       1  
  15 gp 
  Full Helmet            full face           2   
  25 gp
  Leather Cloak        back/head        2   
  45 gp
  Chainmail Shirt    covers torso      3            100 gp 
  Leather Pinafore      full suit          3            115 gp
  GENERAL SUPPLIES
  Adventuring Item    
   
        
            Cost
  Dry clothing and pack  
       
   
   5 gp
  1 day’s provisions (food, drink, “matches”)   6 gp
  5 ordinary torches (each lasts ten turns)  
   1 gp
  Small hammer & iron spikes                        18 gp
  20 feet of heavy twine (rope)      
   
   2 gp
  Adventurers Pack 
       Includes chalk, cloth sacks, 3 torches
       5 matches, 20 feet of rope  & waterskin     9 gp 
  
  10
  Alice knows the forest is home to both goblins and 
  lions, so she carries a sword and shield and wears 
  some leather armor. Her sword is worth 3 dice in 
  combat. One day she runs into two goblins carrying 
  spears and they attack her. Alice has 5 combat adds 
  mostly because she’s always been very lucky. Alice 
  rolls her dice getting 6, 4, 5 plus 5 combat adds for a 
  total of 20. The goblins attack with their spears get-
  ting 4, 2, 6 and 2, 3, 1 for a combined total of 12 + 6 = 
  18. So the goblins lose the combat round by 2 points. 
  So each goblin take one hit each and Alice is unharmed. 
  These are some basic examples. Combat can get more 
  advanced with all the different things that can happen 
  in a fight, but the thing to do is just work through it in 
  a logical fashion and simply determine what the num-
  bers are, and what would likely happen next. 
   
  What is a Spite Damage?
  During combat you or your opponent might roll a 6. 
  Keep track of how many sixes each side rolls. At the 
  end of the combat round, any 6’s rolled by the either 
  side adds 1 point of damage to their opponent regardless 
  of their armor or who won the round. This is done to al-
  low for lucky shots and the wearing down of each side. 
   
    Is Your Character Ready?
  At this point, you should have a basic character rolled 
  up and they should have some equipment. From here, 
  we’re going to give you some more information on 
  HOW to use your character in game play, what saving 
  rolls do, where you can spend adventure points and 
  how wizards cast spells...
   
  What is 
  a Saving 
  Roll?
  A saving roll is the way 
  we check to see if some-
  thing happens in T&T. Any character can make a 
  saving roll if the Game Master (or the text in a solo 
  adventure) asks or tells them to do it. To make a 
  saving roll, you roll 2 dice and get a number. Doubles 
  always add and roll over. For example a roll of 1, 2, 
  which equals 3, is a saving roll — a terrible one that 
  always fails, but a roll of 1, 1 would be doubles. Set 
  the 2 points aside and roll again. Let’s say you roll a 
  5, 3 on your second try. That’s 8 + 2 for a total of 10.
  Saving rolls are rated by levels of difficulty. (usually 
  a saving roll is made 
  against your charac-
  ter’s level.) 1st level is 
  something that could be 
  difficult for the aver-
  age human as the target 
  number is 20. 2nd level 
  is something that could 
  be very difficult for the 
  average human as the target number is 25. 3rd level is 
  something that should be impossible for the average 
  human as the target number is 30. The target number 
  goes up by 5 for each additional level of saving roll. 
  However, no saving roll attempt is ever actually im-
  possible in dT&T. They just get increasingly unlikely 
  as the level of difficulty goes up. In T&T, Doubles 
  Add And Roll Over. We call this the DARO rule.
  For example: Devina the Hobb wants to test a trea-
  sure chest for traps. She announces that she’s check-
  ing for traps. The Game Master tells her to make a 
  level one saving roll on her Intelligence to see if she 
  finds any. Devina has an IQ of 16. She rolls 3, 1 on 
  2 dice.  She adds that 4 to her attribute of 16 to get 
  a total of 20. The target number for level one saving 
  rolls is 20. Devina just barely made the saving roll. 
  The G.M. says you found something that indicates a 
  trap of some sort will be set off when you open the 
  lid. Now what do you do?  The player might answer, 
  “I want to try and disarm the trap.” Now the G.M. 
  asks for a level two saving roll on Dexterity or a level 
  3 saving roll on Luck. Devina has a DEX of 15. 
  Her target is 25 for level 2. She has a Luck of 14. 
  Her target is 30 for level 3.  Devina decides to try for 
  the level 2 saving roll on DEX. She rolls a 4, 2. 15 
  DEX + 6 = 21, but her target was 25. The trap goes 
  off. Terrible things happen to Devina! 
  BUT, suppose Devina had rolled 4, 4 instead of a 4, 2. 
  15 + 8 is 23. Did Devina fail? No! Because 4, 4 is a 
  double and that adds and rolls again. On her 2nd roll 
  she gets a 2, 2 and she adds that to her total. That’s 
  enough to succeed, but is she done? No. 2, 2 is also 
  a double, so she rolls again getting a 5, 2 at the end. 
  Devina’s total roll was 8 + 4 + 7 for a total of 19. 
  (15, her DEX) + (19, her roll total) = 34. Devina 
  made a third level saving roll when she was only 
  trying for a second level one. Good job! (Since her 
  roll was so successful, a GM might allow Devina to re-
  move the trap, so that she could create her own trap). 
  Target 
  Number
  Level of
  Saving Roll   
  1 
  2 
  3
  4
  5 
  etc...
  20 
  25 
  30
  35
  40
  etc...
  Saving Roll Chart   
  
  11
  ARE YOU PLAYING A HUMAN? One other thing 
  to keep in mind if you are playing a human character 
  - you get a second attempt at a saving roll if your 
  first roll fails. You do NOT add those two attempts 
  together, the 2nd attempt is treated like a new saving 
  roll. This is a special bonus given just to human 
  characters to reflect their dogged persistence and 
  refusal to give up despite the odds against them.
  Saving Rolls & 
  Adventure Points (A.P.)
   
  One way that players are rewarded for their actions 
  during the game is by gaining adventure points. 
  Adventure points are awarded for slaying monsters 
  or foes, or for doing or saying something clever or 
  funny during the play of the game, or for solving dif-
  ficult puzzles and in-game problems, or for SAVING 
  ROLLS. Adventure points have only one purpose in 
  the T&T mini-rules. They help your character improve 
  by increasing their attributes. When the Game Master 
  says “Make a saving roll on (any attribute),” the GM 
  is giving you adventure points.
  As you play, keep track of the totals of any numbers 
  you rolled while trying to make a saving roll (whether 
  you made the roll or not). All those totals are adven-
  ture points.  A Game Master or a solo adventure will 
  also reward you Adventure Points at the end of the 
  game.  Add all those numbers together to see how 
  many adventure points you have earned. Now, let’s 
  see how you can make your character more powerful 
  by spending these adventure points...
     Use Adventure Points to 
      increase your attributes
  10 times the current value of the attribute in a.p.  
  Our heroine Alice has managed to accumulate 152 a.p. 
  She decides this would be a good time to bring her 
  DEX up by 1 point. Alice tells the Game Master that 
  she wants to spend a.p. to increase her DEX. The G.M. 
  sees that Alice has 152 adventure points—just enough. 
  He takes 130 AP away and Alice’s DEX goes from 13 
  to 14. This is a permanent increase and her new base 
  value for that character attribute.
  Your Character’s Highest 
  Attribute Determines 
  their Level
   
  In T&T, a character’s level of power is decided by 
  their highest attribute, Divide that by 10 and ignore 
  remainders. 
  Alice the Human has a highest attribute of CHR = 15. 
  That makes her a level one character.  
  Devina the Hobb has a highest attribute of WIZ = 17.  
  That makes her a level one character. 
  LirenTi the Elf has a highest attribute of DEX = 20. 
  That makes her a level two character. 
  If you had a character with any attribute of 30 to 39, 
  they would be a 3rd level character. (And so on...) 
   
  MAGIC in T&T
  (And how to use it)
   
  OK, now its time to talk about how to use Magic in 
  T&T.  If you are playing a Warrior, you can skip this 
  section and come back to it when you roll up a Wizard 
  or Rogue. GMs should read this section so they know 
  how magic works in the game.
  Trollworld is an extremely magical place. The planet 
  produces a force, just like Earth produces magnetism, 
  called kremm that the peoples of Trollworld can tap 
  and use to change reality. That’s magic! Each spell 
  requires a certain amount of kremm energy (WIZ 
  attribute), a certain level of intelligence and dexter-
  ity. The spells almost always work (higher magic can 
  sometimes block other magic from working.) You 
  use your WIZ attribute as the amount of magic that 
  you can use to cast a spell. If a spell costs 2 points 
  to cast, you subtract 2 points from your WIZ attribute. 
  Note that you can only cast one spell per combat 
  round. You recover used WIZ at 1 point per 10 
  minutes of game time.
  So what are adventure points (a.p.) good for? They buy 
  attribute points. To raise an attribute by one point costs 
  
  12
  Since this is the mini version of the rules, we’re going 
  to give you 11 spells to work with: 4 first level, 4 sec-
  ond level, 2 third level, and 1 fourth level. There are 
  118 spells available, but if you want to know them all, 
  you’re going need the Deluxe Tunnels and Trolls rules.
  To keep things simple, wizards know all the spells up 
  through 1st level. So your newly created wizard only 
  knows first level spells. Once you get to second level 
  you have to start learning any new spells. (See below) 
  Rogues can also do magic, but typically they do not 
  know as many spells as wizards do. Rogues get to 
  choose one spell to know per each character level they 
  attain. A first level rogue would know one spell; a third 
  level rogue would know three spells. Remember that 
  Rogues are not able to use magic staffs to help them 
  cast spells. Rogues can learn additional spells though.
  Learning Spells: To learn new spells, a Wizard or 
  Rogue needs to find a higher level magic-user (usually 
  a NPC run by the GM) that is willing to teach them a 
  spell. The cost is 1000 gp per level of spell. So a 2nd 
  level spell cost 2000 gp and a 4th level spell costs 4000 
  gp. Also your character has to have high enough WIZ, 
  INT and DEX to be able to cast the spell. (The dT&T 
  rulebook describes additional ways to learn spells.)
  Note that all 3 requirements must be met in order 
  to learn or cast a spell. The magician needs to have 
  enough kremm (WIZ points), along with a high 
  enough Intelligence (INT) and dexterity. (DEX).
   Mini T&T 
  SPELLBOOK
  LEVEL 1:
  used or stored by objects (not beings), and the type 
  of magic it is. Trained wizards get a vague sense of 
  something magical in range, even without casting 
  the spell. Casting the spell gives them specifics.  
  Rogues particularly find this spell useful. 
  Oh Go Away
  Level: 1     Cost: 5 WIZ    Duration: 1 combat turn 
  Range to Cast: 50’    Range of Effect: 100’ radius
  Power up per level: N/A
  Description: Causes target to flee in terror from the 
  caster.  Target flees only if the Monster Rating of the 
  target is lower than the caster’s IQ+LK+CHR total.  
  If target has character attributes, then the caster’s 
  IQ+LK+CHR must be higher than the targets attri-
  butes.  Spell can work on more than one target. 
  Number affected is equal to the caster’s level. So a 
  1st level character can effect 1 target and a 3rd level 
  character  could effect 3 targets.  
  Knock  Knock
  Level: 1         Cost: 3 WIZ      Duration: Instant
  Range to Cast: Touch      Range of Effect: N/A
  Power up per level: Unlocks higher level locks —
  spell level = lock level (Yes, there can be a 5th level 
  lock that is 5 times as hard to unlock as a first level 
  lock. The world is complicated.)
  Description: Unlocks most mechanical locks or 
  magical locks of the same or lower level. Complex 
  mechanical locks may also require higher level spells.
  Take that, you Fiend 
  Level: 1      Cost: 6 WIZ      Duration: Instant
  Range to cast: Line of sight up to 200 feet
  Range of effect: N/A
  Power up per level: Damage X 2
  Description: Deals deadly (killing) damage equal 
  to the caster’s INT in hit points, but only affects a 
  single target.
  Level One Spells require a minimum of 
  10 points in both INT and DEX
   Detect Magic
  Level: 1      Cost: 1 WIZ    Duration: 1 combat turn        
  Range to cast: 5’ per character level
  Range of effect: 5’ radius per level around cast point.
  Power up per level: Doubles range of effect
  Description: Detects the presence of magic being 
  
  13
  Level Two Spells require a minimum of 
  12 points in both INT and DEX
  Boom Bomb
  Level:2          Cost: 7 WIZ  
  Duration: Item explodes on contact or 10 seconds 
  after being cast, which ever comes first.
  Range to cast: 5’
  Range of effect: 2 foot blast radius per level.
  Power up per level: Damage X 2
  Description: Infuses a small rock or pebble with 
  energy such that it explodes on any sharp impact. 
  Does 10 points of damage to all targets within range.
  (Suitable as a sling stone or thrown object but not for 
  a bullet—it would blow up in the chamber. The blast 
  radius can affect friendly targets)
  Cateyes
     Level: 2       Cost: 6 WIZ 
  Duration: 30 minutes (or 15 combat turns)
  Range to cast: 10’
  Range of effect: Range of good vision - at 40‘ fades 
  out completely by 60‘
  Power up per level: Duration X 2.
  Description: Gives target the night vision of a 
  nocturnal animal. Does not grant vision in complete 
  darkness or through thick fog.
  Poor Baby
   Level: 2      Cost: 2 WIZ     Duration: Instant
  Range to cast: Touch  Range of effect: One person
  Power up per level: N/A
  Description: Restores 1 point of CON lost to wounds 
  or injuries. (Maximum up to original CON. Has no 
  effect on disease or poisons,. only on CON damage. 
  Vorpal Blade
  Level: 2    Cost: 5 WIZ    Duration: 1 combat turn
  Range to cast: 10’
  Range of effect: Affects entire weapon
  Power up per level: Duration X 2
  Description: Doubles base weapon dice roll for a 
  single weapon.  (The weapon must have a blade, i.e. 
  a cutting edge. The spell works on daggers, swords, 
  axes, polearms, spears, but not on clubs, mauls, 
  maces, bullets, etc. It doubles the dice roll, not the 
  number of dice rolled) Takes effect the same round it 
  was cast, doubling effect immediately. It also counts 
  as enchanting a weapon in cases where only magical 
  weapons can do damage.)
  LEVEL 2:
  LEVEL 3:
  Level Three: Spells require a minimum of 
  14 points in both INT and DEX
  Dis -Spell
   
  Level: 3        Cost: 11 WIZ         
  Duration: Instant             Range to cast: 50’
  Range of effect: 10’ radius from Target Point
  Power up per level: Nullifies higher level magic
  Description: Negates and/or banishes magic of the 
  same or lover level. Works on all magic within range 
  (which may include friendly magic)
  Fly Me
   Level: 3      Cost: 7 WIZ     Duration: 10 minutes
  Range to cast: 5’            Range of effect: 1 being
  Power up per level: Duration X 2
  Description: Allows the target to fly at normal 
  running speed (or slower). Target may carry up to 
  their own weight. (Spell has no effect on dead or 
  inanimate objects)
  
  14
  Level Four: Spells require a minimum of 
  16 points in both INT and DEX
   Rock - A - Bye
  Level: 4        Cost: 11 WIZ
  Duration: 1d6 x 10 minutes
  Range to cast: 30’
  Range of effect: Affects single target
  Power up per level: Adds 1d6 duration per level
  Description: Causes target to fall asleep for specified 
  time if the casters total of IQ + WIZ + CHR is greater 
  than the target’s MR (or IQ + WIZ + CHR).
  The Free Wizard’s Spell
  All wizards can sense magic—think of it as a sense 
  of smell for concentrations of magical energy. It is not 
  smell, but is instead a feeling, a certainty. Most of the 
  time the wizard must touch an object to sense it for 
  magic, but more powerful spells have a greater radius 
  of perception. Generally magic will fall into three 
  classes: beneficial, malevolent, and functional. Most 
  magic is functional—it does stuff. Beneficial helps the 
  person/thing being affected while malevolent magic 
  will always do harm. Rogues may learn the spell 
  called Detect Magic that only costs them 1 point of 
  WIZ to cast, but they never reach the point where they 
  can automatically detect magic.
  Using a Magic Staff
  Focus objects—such as magical staffs or wands help 
  make it easier for Wizards to cast a spell. Wizards can 
  have them and use them. Rogues can’t use them for 
  casting magic, but can use staffs as physical weapons. 
  How they work: A wand or staff reduces the cost of 
  casting a spell by your character level. Thus a first 
  level wizard using a magic wand can cast a Take 
  That You Fiend spell for 5 points of WIZ instead of 6 
  points. A 3rd level wizard could cast the same spell for 
  only 3 points instead of 6. However wands and staffs 
  can never reduce the cost of the spell below 1. To 
  work magic, at least 1 point of kremm energy (WIZ) 
  must be used/expended by the spell caster.
  Magic in Combat
  LEVEL 4:
  Spells that do damage work the same way as normal 
  combat damage (unless the spell’s description states 
  otherwise). The spell is cast and whatever damage it 
  creates goes against the enemy being fought. Only one 
  spell per combat round can be cast by a magic user.  
  Recovery of 
  Energy/WIZ expended:
  Spellcasters naturally recover 1 point of kremm 
  energy for every 10 minutes of game time. If a long 
  period of time passes between uses of magic it is easi-
  est to simply let the wizard regenerate all used WIZ 
  points. On the other hand, if the action is happening 
  fast and furious, wizards will not have enough time 
  to recharge all their magical energy.  In such cases 
  wizards can and do run out of magic. (They can still 
  engage in regular non-magic combat though).
  Running T&T as Game Master
  When you’re first starting, you want to run simple 
  short adventures that can be finished in 3 hours or 
  less. Do a larger campaign as your players level up.
  Let your players do things and shine. Reward them 
  for participation. If they’re shy, ask questions to draw 
  them out. Every player should have one or two 
  opportunities to excel in every adventure. 
  Did your players all lose that last fight horribly? 
  You don’t have to kill them. Let them be knocked out 
  and wake up as prisoners somewhere else. Suddenly 
  the adventure takes on a whole new direction.
  And remember that you are the Game Master—you 
  are in control of the game. Don’t let the game bog 
  down with arguments or rules questions. As GM you 
  can overrule any written rule in T&T. Do this to keep 
  the game fun, interesting, and moving right along.
  
  15
  PRE-ROLLED CHARACTERS YOU CAN USE
  Here are the stats of two girl characters. Choose one character from the group to use with a solo adventure. 
  There is an Alice character sheet on page 16. We’ve also included a blank character sheet on page 13 so you 
  can create your own characters. You can bring the equipment of these characters into the solo adventure. 
  NAME:________________________ KINDRED:________________
  LEVEL:________  CHARACTER TYPE:_______________________
  GENDER:______  HEIGHT:__________ WEIGHT: ______________
  AGE:__________  HAIR:_____________ MONEY:_______________
  PRIME ATTRIBUTES
  Strength, Constitution, Dexterity, Speed, Luck, Intelligence, Wizardry & Charisma.
  STR:________ CON:__________ DEX:_________ SPD: __________
  LK:_________ IQ:____________ WIZ:_________ CHA: __________
  Personal Combat Adds: _______________
  You get one combat add for every point that each of these 
  attributes is over 12: STR, LK, DEX, & SPD.
   
  WT: POSSIBLE: _______ WT: CARRIED: ______ 
  Note: The mini-rules do not worry about how much you can carry. 
  SPELLS: _________________ 
  _________________________ 
  _________________________
  _________________________
  _________________________
  Devina: the HobB
  Devina
  HobB
  1
  wizard
  f
  3’10”
  90lb
  14
  Black
  214gp
  10
  14
  10
  16
  15
  12
  17
  11
  +5
            
  SHE can do all 1st 
  level spells.  
  has magic staff
  (2 dice weapon)
  NAME:________________________ KINDRED:________________
  LEVEL:________  CHARACTER TYPE:_______________________
  GENDER:______  HEIGHT:__________ WEIGHT: ______________
  AGE:__________  HAIR:_____________ MONEY:_______________
  PRIME ATTRIBUTES
  Strength, Constitution, Dexterity, Speed, Luck, Intelligence, Wizardry & Charisma.
  STR:________ CON:__________ DEX:_________ SPD: __________
  LK:_________ IQ:____________ WIZ:_________ CHA: __________
  Personal Combat Adds: _______________
  You get one combat add for every point that each of these 
  attributes is over 12: STR, LK, DEX, & SPD.
   
  WT: POSSIBLE: _______  WT: CARRIED: _______
  Note: The mini-rules do not worry about how much you can carry.
  WEAPONS & ARMOR: 
  _________________________ 
  _________________________ 
  _________________________
  _________________________
  _________________________
  Lirenti: an Elf
  Lirenti
  Elf
  1
  warrior
  F
  5’3”
  100lb
  15
  Brown
  31gp
  12
  13
  10
  13
  17
  11
  8
  13
  +6
  lIGHT Bow 3 Dice.
  24 arrows* 
  Cloak takes 1 hit  
   
  Adventure 
  Points
  Adventure 
  Points
  40
  25
  *keep track of how many Arrows you use.
  
  16
  Create your own T&T CHARACTERS
  These blank character sheets can be used to create your own characters for T&T games. Use the other characters on the previous pages 
  as a guide. The T&T mini-rules give you enough information to create some basic character types. The complete Deluxe Tunnels & 
  Trolls rulebook allows you to create characters of many different kindreds and with a large variety of weapons, armor and spells. 
  NAME:________________________ KINDRED:________________
  LEVEL:________  CHARACTER TYPE:_______________________
  GENDER:______  HEIGHT:__________ WEIGHT: ______________
  AGE:__________  HAIR:_____________ MONEY:_______________
  PRIME ATTRIBUTES
  Strength, Constitution, Dexterity, Speed, Luck, Intelligence, Wizardry & Charisma.
  STR:________ CON:__________ DEX:_________ SPD: __________
  LK:_________ IQ:____________ WIZ:_________ CHA: __________
  Personal Combat Adds: _______________
  You get one combat add for every point that each of these 
  attributes is over 12: STR, LK, DEX, & SPD.
   
  WT: POSSIBLE: _______ WT: CARRIED: ______
  WEAPONS & ARMOR: 
  _________________________ 
  _________________________ 
  _________________________
  _________________________
  NAME:________________________ KINDRED:________________
  LEVEL:________  CHARACTER TYPE:_______________________
  GENDER:______  HEIGHT:__________ WEIGHT: ______________
  AGE:__________  HAIR:_____________ MONEY:_______________
  PRIME ATTRIBUTES
  Strength, Constitution, Dexterity, Speed, Luck, Intelligence, Wizardry & Charisma.
  STR:________ CON:__________ DEX:_________ SPD: __________
  LK:_________ IQ:____________ WIZ:_________ CHA: __________
  Personal Combat Adds: _______________
  You get one combat add for every point that each of these 
  attributes is over 12: STR, LK, DEX, & SPD.
   
  WT: POSSIBLE: _______  WT: CARRIED: _______
  Adventure 
  Points
  Adventure 
  Points
  SPELLS: _________________ 
  _________________________ 
  _________________________
  _________________________
  _________________________
  
  17
  any, years ago (like 1977) Flying Buffalo 
  published Weirdworld. It was the sixth solo 
  adventure we ever published, and in all hon-
  esty it was not particularly well written or fun to play. 
  We were still learning what worked and what didn’t 
  work in a solo back then. So Weirdworld was nev-
  er republished once it went out of print (sometime 
  around 1982.) 
  I remember there being discussions about completely 
  rewriting it around the same time that Mike Stack-
  pole rewrote Overkill and Dargon’s Dungeon. (two 
  other early T&T solos that needed a rewrite.)  Then 
  Mike got busy with the Mercenaries, Spies and Pri-
  vate Eyes RPG and just never got around to redoing 
  Weirdworld. Part of the problem too, was what might 
  one do with something called Weirdworld - there 
  were lots of ideas, perhaps too many to settle on any 
  one concept.
  As the years passed, people at conventions would of-
  ten ask “When are you reprinting or making a new 
  Weirdworld?” as they wanted to complete their T&T 
  collection. Recently we received a copy of a solo by 
  Joel Marler. He had written a solitaire adventure that 
  took place in the Wonderland books of Lewis Carroll. 
  At the same time it also used some of the creatures 
  from the Tunnels & Trolls universe.   
  That got me thinking, “what if THAT became OUR 
  Weirdworld?” It would be a great way to have a 
  strange place and at the same time be something that 
  would be familiar with players of T&T that might want 
  to try a solo with a different setting and set-up. By 
  adding the T&T Mini-Rules, the book would also be 
  a great way to get new players to try Tunnels & Trolls.
  So Joel did an update on his solo and we did some 
  additional edits, playtesting, added some art and 
  voila, we have Alice in Weirdworld - T&T solo #6.
  Plus - If you’ve never played T&T, you can learn how 
  to play using the T&T Mini-Rules we’ve included!
  This adventure is made for beginning characters with 
  adds of no more than 5 (or thereabouts).  As you play, 
  Foreword: Adventures in Weirdworld
  you’ll run into some familiar characters and locations 
  from Wonderland, but at the same time it’s not the 
  same reactions, outcomes and order of the original 
  Alice story by Lewis Carroll. It may be a little darker 
  too, and of course filled with word play. The best part 
  is that as you read, you get to decide Alice’s choices as 
  she travels across this Weirdworld that is connected 
  to Trollworld in the same way that Wonderland is 
  connected to our Earth.
  Good luck, and remember you don’t have to play 
  Alice. You can run any low-level character through 
  here. Even if you play as another character, from 
  time to time you may find yourself filling her shoes 
  and speaking her words. Chalk this up to Weird-
  world’s hallucinogenic atmosphere. Note that magic 
  spells you can use are in this solo are limited to just 
  those mentioned in the paragraphs. We recommend 
  playing a female character, but it’s not a requirement. 
  Enjoy your visit to this Weirdworld!
  Steve Crompton - Project Manager/Art Director
  M
  by Steve Crompton
  
  18
  SPECIAL RULES FOR 
  THIS SOLO ADVENTURE
  ince this solo is a little different from 
  most of our other solitaire adventures, 
  we thought we’d let you know the best 
  way to play this and to explain some of the 
  special features that are in this book. We’ll 
  also give some instructions to first time solo 
  players so you know how they work in general.  
  The Basics: In order to play this adventure, 
  you will need paper, pencil, several ordinary 
  6-sided dice, and the rules for Tunnels & Trolls. 
  (Mini T&T Rules included in this book).  
  How to Use: This solo is not meant to 
  be read like a regular book. For maximum 
  enjoyment you should only read the para-
  graphs you are instructed to read, and only 
  when you are instructed to read them. If you 
  play by this rule, you will be able to run char-
  acters through this adventure multiple times 
  and it will feel like a new adventure each 
  time depending on the choices you make.
  Who to Play: This adventure is made for 
  beginning characters (1st or 2nd level) with 
  adds of no more than 5 (or thereabouts) We 
  recommend a female character, but that is 
  not a requirement.
  Links: All the paragraphs that you can go to 
  are displayed in Bold like so: go to 300. 
  Note that there are some paragraphs that 
  end with a “b”. Make sure you are at the 
  right paragraph.
  Items: All items that you can pick up or use are underlined in 
  the adventure. They can be found at the back of the book in the 
  Appendix. Some items will improve or heal your character at-
  tributes - keep track of the items you find and your attributes as 
  they change during the adventure, so write them down.
  Talents: in the text “Talents” are referred to. These are meant 
  for players of Deluxe T&T. If you are playing using the mini-
  rules, ignore the talent references and instead use an appropri-
  ate attribute  (STR, LK, CON, DEX, WIZ, CHR, SPD, or IQ.) 
  Weapons & Armor: if you are playing a character other than 
  Alice, you can bring one weapon that uses up to 3 dice, and a 
  piece of armor that takes up to 3 hits. You can have anything 
  that is listed in Alice’s, Devina’s or LirenTi’s character sheets. 
  And of course you can pick up and use any items you find during 
  the adventure.
  Magic Users: If you a playing a magic user, you know all the 
  spells that your character knows before the adventure begins, 
  but you can only use the spells listed in the adventure when that 
  option is listed in the paragraph. Every 5 paragraphs you regain 1 
  point of WIZ. (Note: If you want to use all your spells, choose the 
  paragraph option that best matches the spell you want to use.) 
  S
  F
  
  19
  NAME:________________________ KINDRED:________________
  LEVEL:________  CHRACTER TYPE:________________________
  GENDER:______  HEIGHT:__________ WEIGHT: ______________
  AGE:__________  HAIR:_____________ MONEY:_______________
  PRIME ATTRIBUTES
  Strength, Constitution, Dexterity, Speed, Luck, Intelligence, Wizardry & Charisma.
  STR:________ CON:__________ DEX:_________ SPD: __________
  LK:_________ IQ:____________ WIZ:_________ CHA: __________
  Personal Combat Adds: _______________
  You get one combat add for every point that each of these 
  attributes is over 12.: STR, LK, DEX, & SPD.
   
  WT: POSSIBLE: _______  WT: CARRIED: _______
  Note: The mini-rules do not worry about how much you can carry.
       WEAPONS & ARMOR: 
  _________________________ 
  _________________________ 
  _________________________
  _________________________
  _________________________
  ALICE
  ALICE
  HUMAN
  1
  ROGUE
  f
  4’7”
  86 lbs
  11.5
  blonde
  50gp
  9
  15
  12
  12
  13
  13
  7
  15
  +5
  pocket knife 2 Dice.
  1 hit cloth body armor   
  SPELLS: 
   Knock Knock 
  Adventure 
  Points
  0
  Our Heroine: Pre-rolled Alice Character Sheet
   
  If you prefer to roll up a new character and not 
  play as Alice (or use the other two pre-rolled charac-
  ters,) go to introduction A. (Note: for every 10 extra 
  combat adds your rolled up character has over 5, give the 
  monsters another 10 MR while you are in combat with them.)
  If you are playing as Alice, go to introduction B. 
  Introduction A:
  Bandaged and bruised, it’s you limp into your lodg-
  ings at the Blue Frog Tavern. The quarters may not 
  be much - a hardtack mattress, papery, fraying sheets 
  - but it’s more than you’re used to, as you’ve travelled 
  across the land to visit relatives for the summer.
   
  It’s certainly more than you can afford. You haul 
  yourself into bed, smarting with each movement, and 
  make to snuff out the lamp. Underneath you notice 
  a book. The title is covered in wax; you scrape it off 
  with a dirk. Alice’s Adventures in Weirdworld… now 
  why’s that familiar? Isn’t that the place all those delv-
  ers went mad?... Sounds entertaining,” you think.
   
  The thought of reading a bedtime story during 
  your convalescence is comforting, like eating fairy 
  noodle soup or taking a scented bath. You make a 
  start on it, but your trials soon get the better of you. 
  The book falls from your hands. As bad as the bed 
  may be, it’s not long until you’ve fallen asleep. Now 
  go to introduction B.
  Introduction B:
   
  You’re sitting by riverbank leaning against a large 
  oak tree. It’s a beautiful day, but you’ve had to spend 
  it reading a mathematics text book for school. Your 
  sister has been making sure you’ve been studying in-
  stead of having fun. But she left to get you both lemon-
  ade. Now you view the winding river and picturesque 
  countryside for the first time today. But you’re bored 
  - bored, bored, bored! You’ve been bored all your 
  life: bored with the nanny, bored with the governess, 
  bored with Mrs. Crabble’s harpsichord lessons, bored 
  with Miss Petticoat’s etiquette lessons, bored with the 
  generals who meet with your father, who spend all 
  night drinking and telling bad jokes, and especially 
  bored with, well, well… everything! Why can’t some-
  thing fun and exciting happen for a change? F
  
  20
  Introduction B: continued from page 4
   
  Suddenly you see a white rabbit, almost the size 
  of a large cat, swimming across the river. On a whim 
  you throw a pebble at it, but miss. 
  “How dare you! Little girl, what’s the meaning of this? 
  What have I ever done to you?” 
   
  If you gasp in amazement at the sound of a rabbit 
  talking, go to 1; if you tell the rabbit that it’s boring 
  too, go to 10.
   - As Lewis Carrol might tell you, “There is no 
  zero paragraph, for zero is nothing and thus 
  there is nothing to see here. It is the only inte-
  ger (and, in fact, the only real number) that is neither 
  negative nor positive. A number which is not zero is 
  said to be nonzero.”
   - You drop the next pebble you were planning 
  to fling at the small beast in amazement. “My, 
  a rabbit who speaks perfect English in an Ox-
  bridge accent, no less! I commend you for your elo-
  cution, for a rabbit to master our language is truly 
  astounding!”  The white rabbit crawls out of the 
  water by your feet and looks at its silver pocket watch 
  in consternation. “And what sterling taste you have in 
  your accoutrements Mister Hare!”
   
  The rabbit slips its watch back into its frilly 
  clothes. “But I’m a female, do you have no eyes? And 
  now, adieu: I’m late, and I haven’t forgiven you for 
  throwing stones at me quite yet!” The rabbit scam-
  pers away down a hole large enough for you to crawl.
   
  “Wait Mr. - I mean Mrs. - Rabbit!” you cry, but 
  she pays you no heed. “Wait!” You hitch your dress up 
  and carefully crawl after her, not wishing to dirty the 
  Kasarian lace.
   
  The warren soon splits in two, but the left tunnel 
  is blocked by a locked wooden door. If you cast Knock 
  Knock, go to 20. If you decide to save your kremm 
  and continue right, go to 30.
   - “Don’t unearth me - I’ve got thorns you know!” 
  cries the well cultivated rose as her roots begin 
  to loosen. 
   
  “Tell me where the Queen is or I’ll turn you into 
  perfume!” you shout, roughly shaking the dainty 
  plant from side-to-side.
  1
  2
  3
  0
   
  The flower blanches and begins crying rose wa-
  ter. “The Queen? The Queen of Uruks? Just follow 
  the heart trailer and you’ll be there in no time!” You 
  release the plant and follow the heart-leaved vine up 
  a forested hill.
   
  Eventually you come across a maze of hedges on 
  the slopes of the hill, which seems to be in the shape 
  of a square. To enter go to 22.
   - You see the Dodo bird squirming on the sand, 
  ignored by the animals running around the 
  rock. “Uncaring brutes, can’t you see that the 
  poor thing is in pain?” you hypocritically say to them, 
  not remembering that you just left him to slake your 
  curiosity. Take a level one saving roll on charisma to 
  see if you can calm the Dodo. Whether you succeed or 
  not, read on...
   
  Minutes later, Duk’dum and Duk’dee emerge 
  from the tunnel. “Hey, there you are! Don’t think 
  you’re going to get away that easily: we’ve been hav-
  ing a discussion we have, and we’ve decided we don’t 
  care if you’re just a girl!” If you managed to snap the 
  Dodo bird out of his musical 
  paroxysms you may fly away 
  to the 4th paragraph of 95; 
  if you failed to steady his 
  frazzled nerves go to 75.
  PARA 0 - 3 
  
  21
   - The rose frowns, as far as you can interpret 
  the face of a flower. “Not very good I’m afraid 
  - more practice needed to maintain a proper 
  tremolo.” If you gracefully accept defeat, go to the 
  second paragraph of 27; if you threaten to pull the 
  rose out by the roots if she doesn’t answer your ques-
  tion, go to 87.
   - You manage to hold down your breakfast and 
  stay abreast the cresting waves. After several 
  minutes you see a strange bird sailing close by 
  in a sieve. “Oh, a sailor’s life is the life for me, A rum-
  tum-dum and a fiddle-dee-dee, There’s nothing like 
  the smell of the sea, It’s the sailor’s life for me, and a 
  Jub-jub bird is me!”
   
  You applaud, and immediately bob under the wa-
  ter for a couple of seconds. You cough up the water 
  once you resurface.
   
  “An audience? In the middle of the sea? I never 
  wanted to be a sailor you know: I always wanted to 
  sing!” The Dodo squawks out a sequence of notes that 
  are fortunately drowned out by the storm.
   
  “You have a powerful voice Mr. Dodo, if a little un-
  refined! You know, I take lessons from Mrs. Crabble 
  - she’s a very good singer - and I’d be glad to work on 
  that dissonance of yours if you take me to dry land.”
   
  The Dodo lifts you up and puts you on his back. 
  “A rum-tum fiddle-dee-done, my mellifluous girl! All 
  hands on deck! Sails away! Gangways people, gang-
  ways! Land ahoy!” And indeed you can see a tiny is-
  land in the distance on which several animals run a 
  curious race.
   
  “Mr. Dodo, what are those animals doing? Why 
  are they running in circles? Are they deranged?” The 
  Jub-jub nods his head. “Of course, we all are! They’re 
  running a caucus race.”
   
  You watch the animals run round and round the 
  mulberry bush on the beach. “Surely you mean a car-
  ousel race - a carousel goes round and round too, but 
  a caucus has a point!” you say.
   
  The Dodo waddles onto the beach and drops you 
  off. “Silly girl, you’ve got it all mixed up: a carousel 
  ride comes to a stop after a couple of minutes, but 
  a caucus meeting goes on for hours and hours and 
  goes round and round in circles. Now, how about that 
  singing lesson?”
  4
  5
   
  If you teach it a song, write down the name of the 
  song before going to 15; if you teach “I Feel Like 
  Chicken Tonight” as a joke, go to 137. If you de-
  cide NOT to teach the Dodo bird a song also go to 
  137.
   - You follow the path for fully fifteen minutes, 
  and find an emaciated walrus at the end, wal-
  lowing in a shallow pond. “Oooh,” he groans, 
  “why did the carpenter have to leave me? And why’d 
  he have to take all the oysters, and only leave me 
  those useless pearls?”
   
  You perk up immediately. “Pearls? What lovely 
  earrings those would make… if I give you cabbages, 
  will you give me those useless baubles of yours?”
   
  The walrus stares at you wildly. “Of course, of 
  course!” Swap as many cabbages for Darksmoke 
  pearls as you want before leaving the animal to his 
  meal. The hedge corridor eventually splits in two. 
   
  If you follow it left, go to 16; if you follow it 
  right, go to 125. 
  6
  PARA 4 - 6 
  
  22
   - You take a bite. The biscuit is sweet and but-
  tery, but unfortunately it makes you shrink to 
  the size of a doorknob!
   
  “Cuisine in this realm is a veritable minefield!” 
  you think to yourself. “How I pine for my mother’s 
  unenchanted scones and magic-free jam!” As the 
  empty house is too large for you to interact with now, 
  you exit and walk back onto the path. The path winds 
  through a forest filled with all manner of queer plants 
  and animals, all of which you find less and less curi-
  ous and more and more terrifying. You feel like cry-
  ing. Go to 172.
   - The path you follow curves around to your 
  right until you end up at another cross-
  road. If the white rabbit hasn’t been 
  killed you may go to 173. Otherwise you 
  either follow the path to your left at 18, fol-
  low the path to your right at 166, follow 
  the path straight ahead at 38. You can also 
  go back the way you came at 28 or 94.
   - You land on the lip of a dune (and 
  take however much you fail a level one 
  dexterity saving roll by in damage: you 
  weren’t falling that slowly).
   
  You brush yourself off. “My, deserts are 
  rather dull, aren’t they? If I were a lizard 
  man—a lizard lady, I mean—I should cer-
  tainly look to moving somewhere more live-
  ly, even if it meant purchasing a smaller estate. The 
  only thing I can see in this wasteland is sand and… 
  the white rabbit!” The beast scurries ahead in the dis-
  tance, panting in the heat.
   
  “White rabbit! Oh, white rabbit, wait!” you shout, 
  then stop and watch aghast as the sandy earth heaves 
  around the frilly pest. “I’ll never make it now!” cries 
  the beleaguered creature as a bandersnatch bursts 
  out of the ground and grabs the animal in its claws. 
  If you heroically rescue your friend, go to 151. 
  If you cravenly abandon your friend in fear, run 
  to 59.
   - “You’re nothing to write about either, 
  young rapscallion! And so, farewell!” The 
  rabbit clambers up the riverbank and scur-
  ries down a hole.
   
  The rest of your days are spent in boredom. Of 
  course they are - it’s your point of view that’s the 
  problem, not your situation!
   
  You grow up to be an insolent young woman who 
  plays elven airs with an air of disdain for your suitors’ 
  ears, and you are eventually matched with a well-con-
  nected lieutenant at the age of twenty-three. The next 
  fifty years of married life teach you the true meaning 
  of boredom. If you are not playing as Alice, go to the 
  second paragraph of 188 but ignore the adven-
  ture point award as you did nothing to earn them.
  7
  8
  9
  10
  11
   - You cogitate for some time before giving 
  up in exasperation. “I don’t know Mr. Hare: 
  what’s the answer?”
   
  The hare cocks his head at you. “Answer? I was 
  asking you!”
   
  You leave, irritated at yourself for wasting your 
  time with such hare-brained nut jobs. Where to now? 
  If you follow the strains of singing to your left, go to 
  47; if you follow the smell of smoke up ahead, go to 
  57; if you follow the sounds of a party to your right, 
  go to 67; if you forage, go to 106; if you wander 
  about aimlessly, go to 81.
  PARA 7 - 11 
  
  23
   - The flower titters as you strain to unearth 
  it. Then it begins to sing;
  “My roots are deep as the deep blue sea,
  As wide and strong as an old oak tree,
  So be forewarned if you try to pick me,
  I’ll giggle and laugh in malevolent glee!”
   
  You pull on the flower to no avail. “Ow, my back! 
  Never mind then - I’m leaving!” Take a level one con-
  stitution saving roll: take damage equal to however 
  much you failed by, down to a minimum of one. If you 
  make the saving roll you take no damage. You march 
  away, annoyed by the encounter. If you follow the 
  smell of smoke, go to 57; if you follow the sounds 
  of a party, go to 67; if you forage, go to 106; if 
  you wander about aimlessly, go to 81.
   - The trolls cower before you. “Whatever 
  you say miss!” they squeak, standing meekly 
  by the sides of the mysterious entrance. 
   
  You decide now is the time to make your move 
  and you head for the door. Go to 204.
   - You pass through the mirror, your dop-
  pelganger eagerly waiting on the other side. 
  You embrace each other and giggle. You and 
  she are the perfect playmates, as you have everything 
  in common. You play, explore, and have an eternity of 
  fun. But the real you in the real world falls into a coma 
  and never recovers. You live on forever within the mir-
  ror world and never leave... However your adventure 
  in this book and the world you came from is over.
   - The Dodo bird particularly likes any song 
  to do with water or flying (even if the lyr-
  ics only mention one of the themes in pass-
  ing). Make a level one Luck saving roll if the song is 
  to his tastes, and a level two Intelligence saving roll if 
  it isn’t. If you pass, go to 45; if you fail, go to 55.
   - The tunnel twists sharply to your left, then 
  continues for a long way straight ahead. Af-
  ter almost half an hour it once again twists 
  sharply to the left, and you continue following the 
  path for about fifteen minutes. Along the way you 
  find half a mushroom growing next to some moss 
  which says “eat me”, which you take.
   
  At the end of the hedge corridor you find a gry-
  phon and a turtle made of pastry pirouetting around 
  and hurling lobsters into a pond. “Join us, join us in 
  the lobster quadrille!” they cry in time with a jaunty 
  jig you simply can’t hear. If you do so, go to 33. If 
  you turn back, go to 61.
   - Your only means of escape is to eat a car-
  rot biscuit if you have one: do anything else 
  and you’re burnt alive!
   
  If you did eat the biscuit you shrink all the way 
  down to the size of a doorknob. “I’ll never get the hang 
  of this…” you moan as you roll around to put out your 
  dress. “White rabbit, white rabbit, my condolences 
  for what happened to your house!” you shout as you 
  run out of the blazing building. The hunchbacked 
  beast scampers away from the blazing inferno, wim-
  pering uncontrollably; you follow the despairing ex-
  home owner along the yellow path outside.
   
  The path winds through a forest filled with all 
  manner of queer plants and animals, all of which you 
  find less and less curious and more and more terrify-
  ing. “Oh, I’m lost!” you realize, as you rest against an 
  elm tree. Gather your courage, then go to 172.
   
   - You walk a little ways until you find a 
  locked gate in the fence to your right. “Let 
  me in!” you cry to the slithy toves inside, 
  “I’ll help you paint those roses if you want!”
   
  “Shove off, we’re busy! Skilled job anyway, innit!” 
  one of the bestial humanoids shots back, slopping the 
  bush with the paint as he does so. If you have both a 
  food that makes you smaller and a food that makes 
  you larger, or wish to cast Knock Knock, go to 48; 
  if not you may keep following the path to 58 or re-
  trace your steps to 68.
   - You land with a splash in the sea below, 
  which squalls in heaves and hurls you up 
  and down. “Oh, I do wish I didn’t suffer 
  from sea-sickness! And who will rescue me in a storm 
  such as this?” Make a level 1 constitution saving roll: 
  if you pass, go to 5; if you fail, go to 90.
  14
  15
  16
  17
  19
  18
  12
  13
  PARA 12 - 19 
  
  24
   - “Now I see the point to all those magic 
  lessons. Perhaps I should have paid more 
  attention when Archmage Dodgson was 
  instructing me,” you think to yourself as the door 
  swings open. “Still, I shouldn’t expect too much of 
  myself. I’m only eleven-and-a-half...”
   
  You enter a hovel filled with all manner of knick-
  knacks and trinkets: a cup of kremmatic tea, five cab-
  bages, a locked chest, a small backpack (which you 
  may take) and so on. There’s also a message scrib-
  bled on the wall, but the handwriting is so atrocious 
  that it would take some time to decipher.
   
  If you drink the tea, go to 152; If you take the 
  cabbages, go to 158; if you take the backpack, put 
  it on and make another choice. If you decipher the 
  message, go to 165; if you cast Knock Knock on 
  the chest, go to 180.
   - “One has teeth, the other doesn’t?” you 
  say uncertainly. “Wrong again. Too much 
  reason, not enough sense,” says the hare. 
  “The answer, to quip: a hawk has no hands and a 
  handsaw has no eyes.”
   
  You sigh. “That’s very confusing... Poor white 
  rabbit. I wonder where she is now?”
   
  The mad wizard stares around wildly. “White rab-
  bit? I’ll give you a white rabbit,” says the old man, 
  reaching deep into his top hat. Take a level one luck 
  saving roll: if you pass, and the white rabbit hasn’t 
  died, go to 82; otherwise go to 92.
   - You enter a maze of hedges on the slopes 
  of a hill, which seems to be in the shape of 
  a square. “It can’t be too large and com-
  plicated, otherwise the gardeners would keep getting 
  lost,” you tell yourself. “I hope the Queen’s taking a 
  walk inside, or that her palace is close to the exit (for 
  surely there’s an exit)… this hay fever will be the end 
  of me if I don’t find her soon!” (Reduce one of your 
  attributes by one for the rest of the adventure for each 
  section you read in the maze.)
   
  Three columns branch out from the entry point: 
  one going to your left, one to your right, and one up 
  ahead. If you walk along the first go to 24; if you 
  walk along the second go to 34; if you walk along 
  the third go 44.
   - You nudge the trolls in the ribs. “Why 
  do Jub-jub birds sound better by candle-
  light? Because you can shove the wax in 
  your ears!”
   
  Duk’dum and Duk’dee laugh uproariously. “Hey 
  Duk’dee, why do Jub-jub bird sounds better by moon-
  light? Cause you can shove da wax in yur ears!”
   
  “Hey Duk’dum, why do Jub-jub fly better by moon-
  light? Because you can shove da wax in yur ears!”
   
  “No, no, it’s -”
   
  “Hey, hey, Duk’dee, why do Jub-jub fly “round da 
  moon?
   
  Because… uh…” Duk’dum scratches his ears, as if 
  trying to recall something.
   
  “Wax. In your ears.” You say testily.
   
  “Right! Wow, wat a per-for-mance - no doubt yur 
  da Queen’s jester, no doubt in my mind. Good luck 
  wit da performance… hope dey don’t shove wax in 
  dere ears!”  They burst out laughing, so you decide to 
  make your exit and head for the door. Go to 204.
  21
  22
  23
  20
  PARA 20 - 23 
  
  25
   - You follow the hedge path a short way 
  until it twists sharply to your right.
   
  You emerge in a small area in which 
  a mouse is giving a history lesson to his children. 
  He says: “The 27th emperor of the Eagle continent 
  was Baeldor the Bloody. He led the invasion against 
  the gnoles, with the help of the Hazzlotzbattz wargs, 
  but was repulsed with the help of the K’zing-K’zung 
  dwarves. The gnoles then formed an alliance with the 
  dwarves and led a counter-attack against Baeldor’s 
  castle at Gala. They were saved when the giant eagles 
  intervened on their behalf, although 2,000 goblins 
  perished in the fighting…”
   
  You yawn as you listen to the never-ending sto-
  ry of warfare, carnage, and intrigue. If you decide 
  to listen on, go to 40. If you decide to leave, the 
  path you return along soon splits in two: go to 44 
  if you follow it to the left and 34 if you follow it 
  straight ahead.
   - “Oh, go away!” you say, flicking your 
  hands at them dismissively. Surprisingly, 
  it works. “Usually father tells me to go 
  away and hands me over to the governess. I must say, 
  I do like the shoe being on the other foot,” you think 
  to yourself.  You make for the door - go to 204.
   - You leave the orchard and return the 
  way you came, walking along the hedge 
  corridor until it splits in two. If you walk 
  straight ahead, go to 24; if you turn right, 44.
   - The sphinx bolts away through the un-
  derbrush and out of sight, in more ways 
  than one.
   
  Where to now? If you follow the strains of sing-
  ing to your left, go to 47; if you follow the smell of 
  smoke up ahead, go to 57; if you follow the sounds 
  of a party to your right, go to 67; if you forage, go to 
  106; if you wander about aimlessly, go to 81.
   - The path you follow curves around to your 
  left until you end up at another crossroads. 
  “I must remember that there’s a sculpture 
  of the Queen here. Perhaps that will help me stop 
  walking in circles.”
   
  If you follow the left path, go to 169; if you 
  follow the right path, go to 38; if you take the path 
  straight ahead, go to 18; if you retrace your steps, 
  go to 8.
   - You begin to dig the hole, warily eyeing 
  a Jub-jub bird that circles above as you do 
  so. Plucking up courage, the scavenger de-
  scends on the rabbit and begins to tear off its flesh in 
  large ribbons. If you try to scare the bird away, go to 
  69; if you try to kill the bird, go to 79.
   - You crawl and crawl for hours, eventu-
  ally arriving in a tranquil garden filled with 
  fruit trees, flowers, and a stagnant wishing 
  well. The white rabbit stands next to a particularly 
  lovely patch of rhododendrons, stopping only briefly 
  to smell the flowers.
   
  “White rabbit, oh white rabbit, I do apologize 
  most sincerely!” you cry, brushing the sandy earth off 
  what used to be a white dress.
   
  “Look little girl, I forgive you: just don’t hold me 
  up! I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date!”
   
  “What are you late for, white rabbit? A date with 
  your boyfriend?” you ask, your nosiness over-riding 
  her injunction.
   
  “No, an appointment with the Queen of Uruks - if 
  I’m not there by noon she’ll have my head!” The rabbit 
  touches her neck, ears twitching in apprehension.
   
  “That’s not cricket,” you exclaim, “I daresay that’s 
  an abuse of the royal power to cut off your head for 
  being late!” Nonetheless, you’re very interested in 
  meeting this Queen: even though your father’s the 
  commander of a fort, you’ve never met royalty before.  
   
  The rabbit gulps. “She’s a card alright: does what-
  ever she wants. Even the King doesn’t stop her - 
  guess who wears the pants in that relationship!” The 
  rabbit glances at her watch in panic. “I have to go!” 
  The dishevelled creature scurries down a hole buried 
  among the azaleas. The hole is much too small for you 
  to enter: what will you do? If you munch the peach 
  growing on the tree engraved “eat me”, go to 50; 
  if you munch the crab-apple growing on the tree 
  engraved “bite me”, go to 60; if you drink from 
  the stagnant wishing well, go to 109; if you throw 
  a coin into the well and wish for good luck on your 
  journey, write down the value of the coin (1-50) be-
  fore going to 147.
  28
  29
  30
  26
  27
  25
  24
  PARA 24 - 30 
  
  26
   - “I’m not letting some slimy lizardman in 
  my mouth! You probably just want to steal 
  my gold filling. Don’t try anything or I’ll 
  chew you to pieces!” you cry out. Sssolum leaps out, 
  holds up his middle finger (it must be their people’s 
  way of waving goodbye), and slithers out the door.
   
  Unfortunately no one else passes by the house 
  anytime soon. By the next day you have died of thirst. 
  Your trip to Weirdworld is over.
   - You take a long drag on the rolled tea 
  leaves and immediately feel sharp as a but-
  ton. Permanently increase your speed by 
  one. Then you cough a lot and decide to never try that 
  again. “I do feel... different somehow,” you exclaim, 
  leaning back in your chair. “If only the white rabbit 
  were here ... I’m sure he would like this sort of thing.”
   
  “White rabbit? I’ll give you a white rabbit,” says 
  the old man, reaching deep into his top hat. Take a 
  level one luck saving roll: if you pass, and the white 
  rabbit hasn’t died, go to 82; otherwise go to 92.
   - You take a lobster by the hand, but it 
  crushes your hand in its claw, dealing one 
  hit of piercing damage to your CON. You 
  scream and begin spinning around wildly, finally man-
  aging to throw the violent crustacean into the pond. 
  “That’s the spirit!” says the gryphon, doing likewise.
   
  You all lay panting by the pond once you’ve fin-
  ished, your palms and fingers throbbing from the ex-
  perience. “Well that’s that job out of the way,” says 
  the pastry turtle, sighing with relief.
   
  “Why did we do that?” you say. “It seemed like a 
  very pointless and painful experience - excuse me for 
  speaking my mind.” 
   
  “That was not a pointless experience young lady: 
  we’re making mock turtle soup! And now for the fin-
  ishing touch…” The mock turtle runs towards the 
  pond and dive bombs in.
   
  The gryphon begins breathing fire on the water 
  until it’s roiling. The lobsters hue sharp red and the 
  mock turtle begins to look noticeably more tender. 
   
  “Voila! Have a taste: you helped make it after all.” 
  You cup your hands, dip them in, and sip the tasty 
  broth you lift up to your lips: you watch in horror as 
  a hard shell forms over your body, giving you a base 
  armor of five but halving your charisma. “Oh, what 
  a to-do… my sister will tease me over this exoskel-
  eton so!” All the other creatures who drank also grew 
  a turtle shell.  
   
  The gryphon smiles. “Not to worry my dear, our 
  shells will disappear in an hour or two.”
   
  You thank the gryphon for the meal and trek back 
  along the corridor until it splits in two. If you follow it 
  straight, go to 125; if you follow it right, go to 6.
  34
  31
  33
  32
   - You follow the path, which twists to your 
  left after several minutes, and emerge in 
  a spacious grove filled with tumtum trees.
   
  Buzzing around the orchard is a massive wasp 
  wearing a wig, which collects the trees’ fruit and 
  stores it in its hive. You feel hungry , but taking the 
  insect’s fruit for yourself could prove quite danger-
  ous… if you placate it with a jar of marmalade, as-
  suming you have any, go to 140. If you stride in 
  and ignore the wasp, go to 150. If you return the 
  way you came, go to 26.
  PARA 31 - 34 
  
  27
   - “I do apologise,” you say, “but I grew up 
  in the Queen’s court, you see, so I’m only 
  familiar with uruks, not trolls. I’m her hu-
  man jester - must be getting back,” you bluff.
   
  Duk’dee nods. “Dat explains da clothes. Giv’ us a 
  show den!”
   
  “Yeah, tell us a funny one!” says Duk’dum. “We like 
  a good laugh we do! Breaks up the tedium, don’t it!”
   
  Make a 1st level charisma saving roll. If the total 
  is 25 or more, go to 23; If the total is 20-24, go to 
  116;  If you rolled under 20, go to 139.
   - You leave the grove behind you and fol-
  low the hedge path until it splits in two. 
  Go to 98 if you follow it to your left and 
  78 if you follow it straight ahead.
   - As you try to shake the sphinx out of the 
  tree, horrible, disfiguring warts begin to 
  break out all over your body due to your 
  allergic reaction. Take level one strength saving rolls 
  until you pass one: for each check you take, lower your 
  charisma by one for the rest of the adventure.
  ~~~~~~~~~~ FOE: Katras Sphinx~~~~~~~~~~
  MR 10.  If the Katras  Sphinx scores Spite Damage, 
  she casts Hidey Hole on herself at the end of this 
  round. and the fight is over as she has vanished. 
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   
  If you manage to knock the feline out of the tree 
  it lands on your face and begins clawing you. “Argh! 
  Bad cat!” you scream, tearing it off and flinging it into 
  the trunk by its tail. If you survive the fight with the 
  Katras sphinx, she bolts away through the under-
  brush and out of sight, in more ways than one.
   
  Where to now? If you follow the strains of sing-
  ing to your left, go to 47; if you follow the smell of 
  smoke up ahead, go to 57; if you follow the sounds 
  of a party to your right, go to 67; if you forage, go to 
  106; if you wander about aimlessly, go to 81.
   - Feeling that you’re walking in circles, 
  you decide to stick close to the iron fence. 
  You follow the path until it splits to your 
  left and right. Go to 44 if you follow it left, and 
  84 if you follow it right.
   - You spot the white rabbit running down 
  the pathway, her eyes fixated on her pocket 
  watch. “Silly rabbit: you won’t make your 
  date faster by checking the time!” you cry out, your 
  inflated voice shaking the contents of the house.
   
  The albino beast looks up and howls in fright. 
  “Argh, a monster!” she exclaims. “Get out, I don’t 
  sublet to your kind!”
   
  “Don’t you recognise my voice? I’m the little girl 
  who threw stones at you - which I’m awfully sorry 
  about!” you say. You hear a “plink” against the wall.  
   
  “Then take one back! And that! And another!” 
  You worry that the creature will break one of her fine 
  windows in her rage.
   
  You see the Jub-jub bird waddling past the house, 
  singing a song. “Mr. Jub-jub!” you and the white rab-
  bit cry out, “come help!” The bird walks over to the 
  rabbit, staring at you in wonder.
   
  “A whale of a tenant you’ve got there ol’ Rabbit!” 
  the bird says, looking at you without recognition. “I 
  hope you’re charging it extra!”
   
  “No, no, it’s an intruder, I don’t know her! Just 
  help me get her out, before she starts squatting!”
   
  “I think she’s doing that now. Got a light? I quit 
  during the last voyage - trying to save my voice.”
   
  The rabbit hands the bird a match. “Don’t start 
  now: you’re still young, and tobacco’s only going to go 
  up you know.” The Jub-jub strikes the match against 
  the rabbit’s nose, then holds it under the hem of your 
  dress. “Don’t be daft - I’m going to smoke her out!” 
  And as your clothes catch fire the bird dances around 
  the house singing:
  “Strike the match,
  Watch it glow,
  If it stalls,
  Give a blow,
  Strike the match,
  Hold it out…
  Watch out, watch out!
  We’re going to smoke her out!”
   
  “Nooo, my house! What are you doing?!” cries the 
  white rabbit as you begin to cough. 
   
  What are you planning to do? Write down your 
  action before going to 17 and hoping for the best! 
  35
  36
  37
  38
  39
  PARA 35 - 39 
  
  28
   - “…Baeldor’s fortress was stormed, but 
  the gnoles didn’t know how to run it and 
  it soon fell into disorder. They eventually 
  sold it to their dwarven allies, who broke it down to 
  build the Great Wall of K’zung. This proved no de-
  fence against the eagles, however, who airlifted Bael-
  dor’s goblins into the dwarven capital. The battle 
  that ensued was bloody, earning Baeldor his appel-
  lation…”
   
  You’ve become very drowsy now. Take a level one 
  constitution saving roll: if you pass, go to 46; if you 
  fail, go to 56 if you’re playing as Alice and 188 
  if you’re playing as someone else.
   - The lizardman darts down your throat 
  and starts banging around in your stom-
  ach. You begin to feel quite queasy. “How 
  much longer will you be, Mr. Lizardman?” you whine.
   
  “Hang on… got it!” Sssolum slithers out of 
  your mouth jubilantly holding two pieces of carrot. 
  “There’s the culprits! Those are yours if you want to 
  save them for later.” You violently shrink to your for-
  mer size.
   
  “Oh Thank you Mr. Lizard, I was getting verti-
  go up there. I’ll never forget that you saved my life, 
  Sssssklololum.” You exit the house and continue 
  along the path. The path winds through a forest filled 
  with all manner of queer plants and animals, all of 
  which you find less and less curious and more and 
  more terrifying. You begin to feel like crying. Go to 
  172.
   - You extinguish the rolled tea and unfurl 
  the wrapper and see if it has a spell writ-
  ten on it. You only have time to glance at 
  the spell page before the hare and old man yell “fire! 
  fire!” They throw their cups of tea at the sheet of 
  singed parchment, destroying it irretrievably. Only if 
  you pass both a level one speed and level one intel-
  ligence saving roll did you manage to learn the spell 
  Take That you Fiend.
   
  “Arsonist!” says the hare, pointing at you with his 
  match. “Next you’ll be setting fire to our tea!”
   
  “The girl’s mad - mad!” says the wizard with his 
  mouth full, crumbs of saucer flying out with each 
  word. “She’s a menace to society… I’ll bet this girl is 
  an anarchist!” 
   
  “Leave her to me” comes a tiny voice from in-
  side the teapot. If you smash the teapot with a blunt 
  weapon, go to 52; if you flee from the tea party, go 
  to 62; if you tell the unstable trio that you meant 
  them no harm, go to 72.
   - You spin around without warning, auda-
  ciously attacking whoever or whatever is be-
  hind you. The ebony wizard claps his hands, 
  causing your weapon to shatter into several pieces.
   
  “Enough. I have a task that needs doing, child.” 
  You stare at the shards in perturbation.
   
  The sorcerer takes a pinch of colored powder 
  from a pouch and throws it on a nearby cliff-face. 
  “Open sesame!” A small crevice appears in a puff of 
  pink smoke. “As you can see, I’m much too large to 
  crawl inside. I want you to enter and retrieve a lamp 
  for me. You’ll also find that the cave’s filled with gold: 
  take as much as you want in payment.”
   
  If you follow his directions, go to 191; if you 
  say you’re busy, go to 196.
   - You walk straight ahead until a wrought 
  iron fence stops you in your tracks. Through 
  the fence you can see a rose garden, where 
  three slithy toves paint roses red. You can still follow 
  the hedge maze to your left and right however - and 
  you can always retrace your steps. Go to 54 if you 
  walk left, go to 64 if you walk right, and go to 74 
  if you walk back the way you came.
   - The Jub-jub bird claps its wings together. 
  “Marvellous, marvellous! I shall become 
  an opera singer one day!” Gain a +3 talent 
  for singing.
   
  You see the white rabbit running around the mul-
  berry bush.”Oh white rabbit, there you are! But why 
  are you taking part in this fruitless activity - aren’t 
  you late, late, for a very important date?”
   
  The rabbit looks at her pocket watch and sprints 
  past the other animals jogging around the bush. “Oh 
  no, I’m later than ever! It’ll be snicker-snack for me 
  - Out, out of my way!” she says, shoving the other ani-
  mals aside. Go to the fourth paragraph of 55.
  43
  44
  45
  40
  41
  42
  PARA 40 - 45 
  
  29
   - You weather the mouse’s lesson and 
  learn a great deal of history in the process. 
  Give yourself a +3 history talent before 
  taking your leave and going back the way you came. 
  The path you return along soon splits in two: go to 
  44 if you follow it to the left, and 34 if you fol-
  low it straight ahead.
   
  The rose headmistress blushes red with pride. 
  “Thank you, my dear: we do try. Girls, bow after you 
  perform in front of an audience!” The pansies droop, 
  then whip back into their upright positions.
   
  “Incidentally, do you know where I could find the 
  Queen of Uruks?”
   
  The rose tisks at the sound of your words. “Very 
  unmusical - surely you can do better than that!”
   
  You warm up by singing a few scales, then belt 
  out your question in d minor. Take a level one dex-
  terity and level one charisma saving roll, adding any 
  singing and music talents to each roll. If you pass 
  both saving rolls, go to 97; if you fail either SR roll, 
  go to 4.
   - Perhaps you shrink yourself, crawl under 
  the gate, then return to your normal size, 
  or perhaps you simply cheat and use magic 
  like the rogue you are. In any case you’ve made it into 
  the inner rose garden. Well done!
   
  “What you doin’ ere, we’re busy!” one of the slithy 
  toves shouts as he paints the white roses red. 
   
  “Yeah,” says another, “plus this is royal land in-
  nit! How’d you get in anyway?” 
   
  If you offer them 20 gold pieces to let you stay 
  and see the Queen, go to 184; if you tell them that 
  you’re the Duchess and show them the Duchess’ in-
  vitation, go to 192; if you threaten them to keep 
  their traps shut, go to 194.
   - You’re hopelessly stuck, and there’s no 
  sign that the owner of the house is coming 
  back soon. “A little help!” you cry out as the 
  Jub-jub walks past, “I ate something I shouldn’t have!” 
  You feel like this may be your last chance for help.
   
  “Hang on!” cries the bird, and returns with a 
  wheelbarrow from the garden shed. It fills it with yel-
  low bricks pried loose from the path. “Ow! Some grat-
  itude!” you shout in rage as the bird begins to hurl 
  the bricks at you through the window (take one die 
  of damage). “If I weren’t trapped here I should defi-
  nitely thrash you this time!”
   
  “You’re welcome, little girl… but you owe me a fa-
  vor now!” says the Jub-jub before departing. 
  Turn the page and go to 49b. 
  46
  47
  49
  48
   - The sound of a beautiful ensemble wafts 
  towards you. As you draw closer you make 
  out the words:
  “Flowers, in the garden,
  Needing love and attention, asking your pardon,
  Growing lovely with your care,
  There’s the scent of music in the spring-bloom air…
  Flowers, in the garden,
  Violet, white, and pink, lovely and fair,
  Forget your potatoes! Forget your common crops!
  Watch and listen to your flowers!”
   
   
  “Bravo! Encore!” you cry as you approach the 
  flowerbed. “Blurkk of the Sod Squad Stinkhole 
  couldn’t have sung it better herself!”
  PARA 46 - 49 
  
  30
    - You look down and see that the 
  bricks have turned into cupcakes with 
  yellow buttercream icing and sprin-
  kles. The sprinkles have been carefully arranged to 
  spell out the words “bite me.” You eat one of the cup-
  cakes and shrink back to your former size. “What a 
  close call - I’ll never eat my vegetables again!”
   
  You pocket the three remaining cupcakes before 
  walking out the house and back onto the vandalized 
  path. The path winds through a forest filled with all 
  manner of queer plants of animals, all of which you 
  find less and less curious and more and more terrify-
  ing. You feel like crying. Go to 172.
   - You grow with each bite that you take of 
  the peach until you’re a veritable giant. By 
  the time you’re sucking on the stone your 
  head is pressed against the ceiling and there’s hardly 
  room to move your arms. You’ve become a hideous 
  giant - and what’s worse, you’re trapped. You begin 
  to cry at your predicament, your tears gurgling down 
  the small hole buried among the flowers. Make a level 
  one intelligence saving roll: if you pass, go to 70; if 
  you fail, go to 80.
   - You lurch towards the oasis and flop down 
  next to the water. “It’s not a mirage!” you ex-
  claim in delight.  
   
   
  “Blessed be the troll gods for their mercy!”
   
  A tall shadow falls over the water as you lap it 
  up. The air crackles with kremm and you sense ma-
  levolent intent. If you whip around and attack, go to 
  43; if you stop and listen, go to 186.
   - You bring your club crashing down onto 
  the fine china vessel, watching in satisfac-
  tion as tea and debris explode onto the fac-
  es of the horrified onlookers.
   
  “A fine party this has turned out to be! You, miss, 
  are a vicious gate crasher!” says the mad wizard, wip-
  ing tea and debris off of his forehead.
   
  “Twinkles! You never even got to see the light of 
  day…” The hare lays the shards of crockery in a tea 
  cup. “Rest in peace, little friend… in tea you were 
  born, and in tea you shall remain.”
   
  “Hey,” says the old man, “you know what hare? 
  I don’t like Humphrey anymore. She used to be so 
  much fun, but lately she’s become a cold-blooded 
  murderer. I don’t like that.” “Yes,” says the hare, 
  “it’s bad to kill people: so says the Book of Verse. We 
  should finish her off before she can finish off anyone
  else. It’s only fair.”  The two of them leap upon you 
  and you must defend yourself. 
  ~~~~~~~~~~ FOE: Mad Duo~~~~~~~~~~
  MR 14. If the Mad Duo scores Spite Damage, they 
  swap their adds with the player this turn.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   
  If you survive the fight with the mad duo you 
  leave the ruined un-birthday party and walk back 
  into the thick of the woods. “What was I thinking to 
  attack the teapot and Twinkles like that? I must get 
  better control of my emotions!” you think to yourself. 
  If you follow the strains of singing to your left, go to 
  47; if you follow the smell of smoke up ahead, go to 
  57; if you forage, go to 106; if you wander about 
  aimlessly deeper into the tulgey woods, go to 81.
   - You enter a cottage furnished with well-
  crafted furniture and a select few objects 
  d’art. “What a charming bungalow: I 
  must ask father to get us one,” you tell yourself. “If 
  we flattened that horrid shrine on the lawn and built 
  a pergola - I say we, but I mean the laborers - my 
  sister and I could talk tête-à-tête while we eat scones 
  in the shade! But I’m getting ahead of myself, I must 
  find the white rabbit first. The governess once re-
  marked that I never finish what I begin, and seeing 
  as I’m practically a lady I should at least try to be 
  more persistent.”
   
  If you enter the bedroom, go to 63; if you enter 
  the kitchen, go to 73; if you enter the lounge, go to 
  83; if you enter the bathroom, go to 118; if you 
  enter the cellar, go to 128; if you enter the loft, go 
  to 138; if you exit the house and continue along 
  the path, go to the third paragraph of 17.
  49b
  50
  51
  52
  53
  PARA 49b - 53 
  
  31
   - You follow the fence to the left until the 
  path splits in two. Parked in the middle of 
  the fork is a Lamb in a nightcap sitting in 
  the shade of a caravan. She stops fanning herself as 
  you approach and adjusts her shawl. If the rabbit is 
  with you, tell it to lay down and rest for a bit.
   
  “Ah, a customer… welcome to Morfatin’s Empo-
  rium.” The creature squints at you. “It’s lucky you ran 
  into me: I was just about to deliver these goods to the 
  Queen herself, but I suppose I could ‘mislay’ the odd 
  trinket… for the right price. We don’t discriminate 
  against the goodkin here… you see, here at Morfa-
  tin’s Emporium we recognise that your coin is as ac-
  ceptable as any. Come inside, look around… that is a 
  pouch hanging off your belt, isn’t it?”
   
  “Uh, yes,” you reply. You may buy anti-poison 
  tablets, potions of peppiness, potions of the protago-
  nist, and soul armor here for their full value, and may 
  also sell any item you have collected to Morfatin for 
  half its value. Make whatever transactions you wish 
  before following the path to your new left at 84 or 
  to your new right at 94. Whichever path you take, 
  you realize too late that if the zombie rabbit was fol-
  lowing you, it has vanished, with no clue as to how or 
  where it went. “This truly is a weird world,” you think 
  to yourself.
   - The Jub-jub bird begins convulsively 
  twitching at the sound of your warbling 
  and quickly breaks into a seizure. “Oh 
  dear… I take it you didn’t appreciate my song. Was it 
  the nature of the melody, or was I simply out of tune? 
  Was I so very bad?” you say, as you daintily prod the 
  epileptic bird with the tip of your shoe. “I do wish 
  you’d stop that, the way your beak foams does worry 
  me so.” 
   
  Suddenly you see the white rabbit running around 
  the mulberry bush. “Oh white rabbit, there you are! 
  Please help: I fear my high D sung note has destroyed 
  his state of mind!”
   
  “What state of mind? He’ll be fine: you can’t de-
  stroy what doesn’t exist!” The rabbit looks at her 
  pocket watch and sprints past the other animals jog-
  ging around the bush. “Oh no, I’m later than ever! 
  Out, out of my way!”
   
  “Silly rabbit, you’ll never get anywhere running 
  around in circles. I’m afraid we’re stuck on this is-
  land…” But the rabbit ignores you as she continues 
  to run around the mulberry bush. You notice that 
  its footsteps imprint an ever deepening circle in the 
  sand, almost like a moat. “How soft the sand must 
  be!” you cry as the rabbit disappears into her self-
  made trench. You lean over and peer down; you see 
  the rabbit scurrying far beneath the island, its white 
  shape slipping out of sight. “How far does the rabbit 
  hole go?” you ponder, running after it. 
   
  You follow the tunnel for several minutes and 
  eventually reach a door flanked by two fat trolls. 
  “Halt!” they say in unison. “What yur name, and why 
  you wanna enter da Queen of Uruk’s realm?”
   
  You curtsy. “Excuse me good sirs, my name is Al-
  ice - glad to make your acquaintance. And with whom 
  do I have the pleasure of speaking?”
   
  The left guard points to his name-tag (which, be-
  ing a troll’s name-tag, is carved on a flat piece of rock 
  stuck on its chest). 
   
  “Oh, so your name is Duk’dum. That’s a curious 
  name for a troll! And your name…Duk’dee. How cute 
  that they rhyme!” 
   
  Duk’dum waves his club in your face. “You lucky 
  you a girl, otherwise I’d crack yur noggin!”
  As you think of a reply go to 55b.
  54
  55
  PARA 54 - 55 
  
  32
   - You smile innocently at the troll. 
  “Ah, the benefits of being a member of 
  the fairer sex,” you think to yourself. 
   
  You answer, “I apologise if I offended you, 
  Duk’dum and Duk’dee. Now, may I come through?” 
  You try to push past them, but they block your way.
   
  “Go away, yur lack of cultural a-ware-ness is ap-
  pallin!” says Duk’dee. “Yeah: our names are real com-
  mon for trolls. And it not DUK’dum, it Duk’DUM. 
  Igno… igno, uh… ramus!”
   
  If you cast Oh Go Away, go to 25; if you try 
  to fool them, go to 35; if you decide to leave, go to 
  65; if you attack them, go to 75; If you suck on a 
  peach stone and try to intimidate them, go to 85.
   - You yawn increasingly frequently and 
  have trouble keeping your eyes open. Be-
  fore you know it you’ve nodded off where 
  you sit (or were standing as the case may be.) 
   
  You wake up by the riverbank and it is now night. 
  “Oh - it was all a dream! But I could swear it was 
  real…” You rummage through your backpack, and in-
  deed anything you acquired during your adventure is 
  still with you. 
   
  “I wonder what time it is, Seven o’clock? The 
  grasshoppers are still quite active, so it can’t be so 
  late. Still, I suppose I’ve missed my supper by now. 
  But how strange… I don’t feel quite so hungry as I sup-
  pose I should be, as if I really had eaten while I slept. 
  Oh dear, I do hope Marissa has left dessert out for me. 
  I remember her making trifle this morning, and I do 
  like trifle so very much. But perhaps after all I’ve been 
  through - in my dreams? - it’s a trifling matter…” 
   
  You collect your thoughts, brush the grass off 
  yourself, and wander back home in search of your 
  sister, who will never believe your fantastic tale. 
   
  Gain 300 adventure points for finishing Alice in 
  Weirdworld!
   - You follow your nose and soon meet 
  a large green Leprechaun perched on a 
  branch sucking a hookah. The stout crea-
  ture sees you and blows a smoke ring in your face. 
  “Who are you?” it says, blowing another smoke ring 
  in your face (or a smoke triangle, rather). You cough.
   
  “Who, are you, lassie?” it repeats, now blowing a 
   
  If you think have any poppies to give him, go to 
  95b; if you offer to give him therapy, (or at least 
  talk a bit more) go to 77; otherwise you may follow 
  the strains of singing at 47; follow the sounds of a 
  party at 67; forage at 106; or decide to run off 
  and wander about aimlessly at 81.
   - You keep following the path until it 
  splits directly to your left and right. If you 
  follow it left, go to 78; if you follow it 
  right, go to 88; if you want to retrace your steps, 
  go back to 98.
  57
  58
  55b
  56
  smoke star at you. 
   
  “Stop that please, or I’ll... I’ll break your pipe! 
  Weren’t you brought up with any manners? Cough 
  cough!” you manage to choke out.
   
  The green Leprechaun looks at you sternly. “My 
  mother was eaten by a Jub-jub bird: snatched right 
  out of the tree in front of my eyes! I smoke to for-
  get…” he sucks on his hookah but the water gurgles 
  fruitlessly. “What, nothing left? Already? Oh, what 
  I wouldn’t give for some more of those sweet, sweet 
  poppies!”  He hops off the branch and looks around 
  for any  poppies growing on the ground, with no luck. 
  PARA 55b - 58 
  
  33
   - You run and run, hoping to get away. 
  “Rather dangerous with those horrible 
  bandersnatches about!” you exclaim. 
  Tears stream down your cheeks with regret as you 
  notice the Jub-jub bird circling overhead from the 
  scene of the rabbit’s death.
   
  You of course have no idea where you’re go-
  ing and stumble through the desert for many hours, 
  changing direction far more often than you should. 
  “I should have… bought a parasol,” you rasp through 
  chapped lips, “it’s considered rather common… for a 
  lady to sport a tan.” (It was in the 19th century.)
   
  Just when you’re losing the will to stumble on, 
  you think you see an oasis shimmering in the dis-
  tance. If you walk towards it, go to 51; if you keep 
  staggering in the same direction, go to 161.
   - You shrink down to the size of a rabbit 
  once you’ve finished eating the sour fruit. 
  “It’s lucky it was just a small one, or oth-
  erwise I may have dwindled to nothing… and then 
  where would I have been?” you think to yourself. “I 
  suppose then I should have had to converse with at-
  oms - and I imagine atoms would have a very small-
  minded view on life and be very dull indeed. But be-
  ing this size isn’t so bad. I suppose that by the time 
  I’m a lady I shall be almost back to where I was.”
   
  You jump down the tiny hole and watch as your 
  dress billows out like a parachute. “Golly, that’s for-
  tunate - it appears to be a long way down! I suppose 
  I should have looked before I jumped. My sister 
  wouldn’t have approved of my recklessness: if I had 
  fallen and sprained an ankle she would’ve told me I 
  deserved much worse!” And indeed, you cannot even 
  see the pit’s bottom.
   
  You float down at a leisurely pace, passing a jar 
  of marmalade, a spoonful of sugar, a toy slingshot, 
  a white kitten you name Snow Drop, and a hellblade 
  darker than a thousand nightmares sitting on a shelf. 
  Make three saving rolls against Speed to see how 
  many items you can grab. These saving rolls have no 
  level, so simply roll two dice per roll and add your 
  Speed. (Don’t forget DARO!) Of the three rolls, keep 
  your best result. If you score 20-24, you grab one item 
  of your choice; 25-29 two items, 30-34 three items, 
  and so on. “This descent takes too long by far,” you 
  think to yourself. “I shall fall asleep before I land, and 
  then awake before then too!” You take the opportu-
  nity to practice your arithmetic, attempting to calcu-
  late how long you should continue to fall for based on 
  your speed and the distance left to be travelled, but 
  find it awfully difficult without knowing X or Y.
   
  After almost an hour you finally land. Go to 9 if 
  you didn’t cry in the garden you and 19 if you did.
   - You tell the strange animals that you’re 
  allergic to shellfish and trek back along the 
  corridor until it splits in two. If you follow it 
  straight, go to 125; if you follow it right, go to 6.
   - Take a level one speed saving roll: if 
  you pass you manage to quickly sprint 
  back to the second paragraph of 27. 
  if you fail the little brown ratling bites your bum: 
  go to the fourth paragraph of 52 if you survive 
  its nibbling teeth and prepare to defend yourself. 
  ~~~~~~~~ FOE: Little Brown Ratling~~~~~~~
  MR 8. The ratling is too small to be hit with ranged 
  weapons.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   - The bedroom you enter contains a neat-
  ly made pile of straw with a pillow on top. 
  “I suppose an animal must live here. Or a 
  member of the lower working class,” you say to your-
  self.  You find a bugle under the pillow, which you can 
  take if you want. (Or if you’re feeling nice, leave some 
  other object from your backpack in its place.)
   
  Where to now? If you enter the kitchen, go to 
  73; if you enter the lounge, go to 83; if you enter 
  the bathroom, go to 118; if you enter the cellar, go 
  to 128; if you enter the loft, go to 138; if you 
  exit the house and continue along the path, go to the 
  third paragraph of 17.
   - You follow the hedge path alongside the 
  fence, which sharply twists to the left after 
  a short time. Along the way you find half a 
  mushroom next to a patch of moss which says “bite 
  me.” You can take it if you want.
   
  At the end of the path (for it’s a dead end) is a nest 
  and a treehouse. If you search the nest, go to 66; 
  if you enter the treehouse, go to 119; if you turn 
  back, go to 76.
  59
  60
  61
  62
  63
  64
  PARA 59 - 64 
  
  34
   - You storm off in a huff. “I’m not an ig-
  noramus: I can speak common, elvish, and 
  I can even read dwarvish to a 5th grade 
  level! What’s a troll ever done in its life? I’ve never 
  heard of a trollish wizard, nothing but hunks of flesh 
  and rock…”
  Soon you return to the island. If you managed to 
  teach the Jub-jub a song, go to 95; if you managed 
  to send him into a seizure instead, go to 3.
   - You rifle through the nest and find an 
  exotic egg shell worth 50 gold coins. “My 
  sister’s suitor once gave her an egg shell 
  like this, but sadly he ended up choosing somebody 
  else. At least she got to keep her egg for herself. There 
  must be some symbolism to that,” you think to your-
  self. If you take it, go to 124. If you replace it with 
  the copper egg you got, go to 135.
   - You can hear hysterical laughter and the 
  clinking of cups in this direction. You open 
  a gate (it’s not connected to a fence, mak-
  ing it totally useless), and come across a Jepikian hare 
  and a wizard at a tea party. The old man drinks blue 
  tea from a top hat and both sing a mad song about 
  “un-birthdays”.
   
  “An un-birthday - now what on Trollworld is that? 
  Too much caffeine I’d wager… it addles the brain!” 
  you think to yourself, getting ready to leave the over-
  hyped maniacs to their very unspecial occasion.
   
  “Take a seat, Humphrey!” says the hare, pulling 
  out a chair.
   
  Sighing, you take a seat at the tannin-stained table.
   
  “Have some tea, Humphrey!” says the old man, 
  taking a swig from his hat before passing it to you.
   
  “But my name’s not Humphrey! I’m Alice: pleased 
  to ah, pleased to make your acquaintance,” you say, 
  not wanting to offend the lunatics seated at the table.
   
  You raise the top hat to your lips, but the old man 
  takes it from you and puts it on his head. “Alice, you 
  can’t drink tea from a hat: it ruins the fabric!” The 
  hare sprinkles a pinch of tea leaves along the page of 
  a spell book and rolls it, then lights the end and puts 
  it in your mouth. “Tea is better smoked than drunk 
  anyway. Did you know that aromatic tea is an ‘erb?” 
  If you smoke the tea leaf cigarette, go to 32; if you 
  stub out the cigarette and read the spell, go to 42.
   - You follow the path until you come 
  across a crossroad. Go to 38 if you fol-
  low the path to your left, 28 if you fol-
  low it to your right, 8 if you follow it straight ahead, 
  and 18 if you retrace your steps.
   - “Shoo - go away you horrid beastie!” you 
  say, advancing on it with your weapon.
   
  “Don’t hurt me! if I don’t eat this dear 
  deceased rabbit, I’ll starve!” simpers the crowned 
  Jub-jub bird, looking at you with puppy-bird eyes. If 
  you let it eat the rabbit, go to 89; if you still want to 
  drive the bird away, go to 79.
  65
  66
  67
  68
  69
  70
   - You realize that if the peach made you 
  larger there’s no reason why the crab-ap-
  ple couldn’t make you smaller. You pluck 
  the tiny fruit between your fingers, which is no larger 
  than a pea to you in your present condition, and eat 
  it. With a jolt you shrink down, all the way to the size 
  of the crab-apple you ate. “Oh dear! It was so deli-
  cious that I couldn’t stop!”
   
  Not wishing to return to your father in such a di-
  minutive state you pocket the peach stone and go to 
  the second paragraph of 60.
  PARA 65 - 70 
  
  35
   - “Off with her head!” yells the Queen. “Do 
  you take me for a fool? Do you think a Queen 
  wouldn’t know the realm’s duchesses by 
  sight?” Her lackeys drag you off to the block to have 
  your head removed from your neck. Make a 2nd level 
  saving roll on STR. If you wrench yourself free from 
  the uruks, go to 155; if you plead for your life, go 
  to 170.
   - Take a level two charisma saving roll: if 
  you pass you manage to calm their nerves 
  and go to 86; if you fail you must fight 
  the little brown ratling and go to the fourth para-
  graph of 52 if you survive its nibbling teeth.
   
  ~~~~~~~~ FOE: Little Brown Ratling~~~~~~~
  MR 8. The ratling is too small to be hit with ranged 
  weapons.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   - The kitchen contains shelves full of identi-
  cal boxes. You open one of them and shake 
  its contents into your hand. “Carrots? An 
  awful lot of carrots to put in one’s dinner… one also 
  needs protein to have a balanced diet!” you think to 
  yourself.
   
  The box is emblazoned with the words “eat me”: 
  if you do so, go to 93; if you’re a carnivore, you 
  may enter the bedroom at 63, enter the lounge at 
  83, enter the bathroom at 118, enter the cellar 
  at 128, enter the loft at 138, or exit the house 
  and continue along the path at the third paragraph of 
  17.
   - Not wishing to be near such brutish crea-
  tures, you walk away from the fenced in 
  rose garden until you’ve arrived back at the 
  entrance to the maze.
   
  “Oh dear, I’m not making any progress at all!” you 
  think to yourself. “Perhaps I should just give up!” If 
  you follow the corridor to your left, go to 34; if you 
  follow the corridor to your right, go to 24; if you 
  retrace your steps, go to 44; if you exit the maze 
  and continue scaling the hill, go to 134.
   - Brave, brash, perhaps even a little foolish, 
  but let the fight begin...
  ~~~~~~~ FOE: Duk’dum and Duk’dee~~~~~~
  MR 20. (10 MR each) If the trolls score any Spite 
  Damage, they roll 1 extra die next round.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  If you survive the encounter with Duk’dum and 
  Duk’dee you open the door they were guarding and 
  walk through, emerging on a yellow brick road. “Yel-
  low bricks? Whatever could they be hewn from: Ban-
  nana stone?” you think to yourself, as you follow the 
  path. It leads towards a house with a white picket 
  fence. “A white picket fence - just like the one at my 
  aunt’s cottage in the countryside!” you exclaim, run-
  ning your hand along the painted slats. If you knock 
  on the door of the house, or just decide to go right in 
  go to 53; If you decide to continue along the path 
  and plunge into the dark, dark wood, turn to 172.
  73
  74
  75
  71
  72
  PARA 71 - 75 
  
  36
   - You walk back along the path until it 
  splits in two. “This maze is an exercise in 
  frustration!” you cry. “I wish I had a pair of 
  shears so that I could cut my way to the centre… or at 
  least a map!”
   
  The Katras sphinx appears in front of you, grin-
  ning inanely. “Perhaps I can give you directions,” she 
  purrs, “if you can guess my riddle.”
   
  “You’re awfully nice to help me after how I treated 
  you before. Very well, I’d like to try.” You settle your-
  self onto a wrought iron bench. The sphinx licks her 
  fur a new color. “What has seas without water, for-
  ests without wood, deserts without sand, and houses 
  without brick?” If you think you know the answer, 
  write it down and go to 160. Otherwise you may 
  take a level one intelligence saving roll: go to 179 
  if you succeed and 162 if you fail.
   - You realize that something in the smoke 
  seems to have expanded your mind and 
  you suddenly understand things you never 
  knew about before. Your IQ increases by 1 point. 
  (Be sure to add that to your character sheet.)
   
  You gesture towards a bed of leaves. “Lie down, 
  Mr. Leprechaun. Why don’t you tell me about your 
  mother...”
   
  The creature hops off the branch and makes him-
  self comfortable. “My mother… Where do I begin? 
  She had the most lustrous green hair, and those pret-
  zels she made - you like pretzels? - I don’t know what 
  she put in them, but it sure wasn’t just salt. I mean, 
  she put salt and flour in them, you can’t make pretzels 
  without flour, but there was just something special 
  about those pretzels. It must’ve been a family recipe.”
   
  You wave your hands in the air. “Mr. Leprechaun, 
  I feel like we’re getting off-track. Where’s your father 
  in all this?” (Speaking well beyond your years.)
   
  The little man grimaces. “I don’t want to talk 
  about it. Where’s that hookah? He wink winged away 
  when I was 68 and left my mother to pick up the 
  pieces. Didn’t even send any gold! Wanted to pursue 
  his dream of becoming a wizard he said, but all he 
  could do was cheap tricks. I could’ve told him that, 
  but he never asked me, did he. I was still a kid in his 
  eyes. Think he ran the children’s circuit up in Angos, 
  but I don’t know for certain, we didn’t keep in touch. 
  Mum and I had to live on pretzels for years, but she 
  always did the best she could. Great pretzels, but a 
  kid needs more than that once in a while. What can I 
  say, I loved her!”
   
  If you analyze how the leprechaun has dealt with 
  his mother’s death, go to 163; if you analyze his 
  relationship with his mother, go to 177. If you de-
  cide to just run away, go to 81.
   - You walk a little way, and quickly find a 
  hedge corridor snaking down to your left. 
  You may follow it at 6, keep walking ahead 
  to 16, or turn back to 125.
   - Although Jub-jub birds are naturally 
  averse to attacking living creatures, prefer-
  ring to feast on the deceased as they do, they 
  will defend a particularly juicy cadaver if necessary. 
   
  ~~~~~~~~~~~ FOE: Jub-jub Bird ~~~~~~~~~~
  MR 10. The Jub-jub bird fights at full strength until 
  fully defeated.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  If you survive the fight with the Jub-jub bird you 
  finish digging the grave and give the rabbit a good, 
  Khoshtian burial. Part of the funeral rites involve 
  burying the corpse with a gift: if you bury her with her 
  favorite pocket watch, go to 181; if you bury her 
  with a different item, write it down before going to 
  189; if you bury her with nothing, go to 198.
   - You really can’t see any way out, and 
  continue to cry and cry. The small hole 
  eventually becomes filled with your tears, 
  which overflow the cavern you stand in instead. The 
  waterlogged corpse of the white rabbit floats up from 
  the hole and bobs around in the briny water, which 
  rises and rises up to your chin before swallowing you 
  too. A sad way to go in more ways than one! Your 
  journey is at an end...
   - You strike out wildly through the forest, 
  hoping to run into a lead on the Queen of 
  Uruks. Take a level two luck saving roll: if 
  you pass, go to 22; if you fail, go to 110.
  81
  76
  77
  78
  79
  80
  PARA 76 - 81 
  
  37
   - Out comes his hand grasping… the 
  white rabbit! “White rabbit! Oh, I’m so 
  glad to see you: I’ve been searching for 
  you all through the woods! White rabbit, have you 
  ever tried smoking a cup of tea?” You place the ciga-
  rette in its mouth and strike a match.   
   
   
   
  The beast spits out the ciggy and frees herself 
  from the mad wizard’s grasp. “I do wish you’d stop 
  doing that Nathaniel! You know I’m late for my date 
  with the Queen!” The rabbit scampers away from the 
  tea party, looking at her pocket watch in horror.
   
  “Wait!” you cry, chasing the white rabbit up a for-
  ested hill and into a hedge maze. Go to 22. 
   - The rancid stench of tallow percolates 
  the lounge you enter. “The owner must 
  have left in a hurry,” you say. “Wax is 
  dribbling all over the tablecloths!” You snuff the two 
  candles out and put them in your backpack. A carrot 
  biscuit also lies on a pewter plate engraved “bite me.” 
  If you eat the biscuit, go to 7; if you save it for later, 
  go back to the second paragraph of 53.
   - You follow the hedge path and come 
  across a villa. Two fish-faced messengers, 
  wearing wigs, stand by the door. “An in-
  vitation to play croquet, addressed to the Duchess, 
  from the Queen!” one messenger cries. “From the 
  Queen, to the Duchess: an invitation to play croquet!” 
  cries the other. If you tell them that you’re the Duch-
  ess, go to 120. If you ask them where the Queen 
  is, go to 130.
   - You grow as you suck on the stone until 
  you tower over the two trolls by more than 
  a head. “Now, let me through!” you boom, 
  “or I’ll pound you into dust and powder my face with 
  you!” Take a level one charisma saving roll. If you 
  pass, go to 13; if you fail, go to 75.
   - “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you 
  mad… I just didn’t want the spell to go to 
  waste,” you say apologetically.
   
  “Why is a raven like a writing desk?” says the old 
  wizard, instantly mollified by your banal pardon - or 
  perhaps forgetting that his small mysterious friend 
  had intended to hurt you in some manner.
   
  “Oh, riddles! Now let’s see… a raven… a writing 
  desk… I haven’t learnt this one…” you reply.
   
  The hare taps its skull. “Use it or lose it, buster! 
  You can’t make lemons without spilling broken eggs!” 
  Take a level 1 intelligence saving roll: if you pass, go 
  to 96; if you fail, go to 11.
   - “Oh you will, will you? Well I’d like to 
  see you try!” You grab the rose by her stalk 
  and pull for all you’re worth. Take a level 
  one strength saving roll: if you pass, go to 2; if you 
  fail, go to 12.
   - You follow the path and emerge in a wax 
  sculpture garden. All of the monuments 
  are of the Queen of Uruks, all in a variety 
  of styles. In the hedge wall, on one side of the garden, 
  is an archway leading out of the maze.
   
  “Welcome!” says a man in a beret with a thin 
  moustache. “Have you come to admire my works, 
  mademoiselle?” 
   
  “No,” you say. “Pardon sir, for although I am an 
  aficionado of the fine arts - I don’t have the time to 
  meditate on your works. Could you tell me where to 
  find the Queen?”
   
  The artist looks a little forlorn at your words. 
  “She’s playing chess at the moment outside the maze. 
  While you wait for her to finish checkmating her 
  rival, why don’t you contribute to my collection?”
   
  If you possess a chisel and a heat source, and you 
  pass a level one intelligence and a level one dexterity 
  saving roll, go to 129. If you don’t, go to 145.
  88
  82
  83
  84
  85
  86
  87
  PARA 82 - 88 
  
  38
   - As you watch the Jub-jub eat his fill, 
  your stomach begins to rumble. “Come to 
  think of it, I haven’t eaten since morning 
  tea. If I had an oven and servants here to cook for me, 
  I shouldn’t be surprised if I joined in… is that maca-
  bre?” The large bird gulps down the last grisly hunk 
  of flesh, then gives a sickly smile.
   
  “Thanks for your understanding, little girl. I’m 
  a slave to my biology, what can I say?” The Jub-jub 
  belches in satisfaction.
   
  “I’ve never heard a bird burp,” you say, as you 
  place the skeleton in the hole you’ve half-dug. “Or 
  sneeze, or cough… or talk for that matter.”
   
  The Jub-jub sniffs. “Well, why shouldn’t we, we’re 
  human too, right?” he says, ruffling his plumage. You 
  suppose the bird doesn’t know so much about biol-
  ogy as he pretends to. The Jub-jub stretches his wings 
  and dips his head in a kind of bow. “Well, I’ll be off 
  then. Nice knowing you, little girl.” He begins to fly 
  away, but you grab it by the leg.
   
  “Wait - take me with you! I’m so very lost in the 
  middle of this desert, and there’s so many banders-
  natches about,” you cry, presumptuously clambering 
  onto his back.
   
  “Oho - who’s begging now!” the Jub-jub smirks. 
  “Well, I suppose you’ve earned a favour: where do 
  you want a lift to?”
   
  You think about this for a second, then reply: “I 
  want to meet the Queen of Uruks and tell her that the 
  white rabbit won’t be able to make her date.”
   
  “Your grave!” he says, running along the desert 
  runway. You grip his feathers as he takes off, acciden-
  tally pulling several out.
   
  The Jub-jub flies you over the desert, which be-
  comes more and more scrubby over time. Soon you 
  can make out wispy tea trees, then shady cabbage 
  trees, and eventually the curious vegetation all bursts 
  and blends into an opaque canopy. You see an elm 
  spangled hill rising out of the forest, on the summit of 
  which lies a palace surrounded by a maze of hedges.
   
  “I’ll take you to the edge of the Queen’s garden, 
  but no way am I going any further in! She’s issued 
  a bounty on my head for eating her favourite lepre-
  chaun!” If you tell the Jub-jub bird it sounds safer to 
  be dropped off in the forest, go to the second para-
  graph of 27; if you let the Jub-jub bird drop you off 
  at the edge of the hedge maze, go to 22.
   - You retch from the violent movements 
  of the storm and your strength begins to 
  fail. You slip under the water once, twice, 
  and thrice, drifting down, down, and down into fit-
  ful slumber. Go to 56 if you’re playing as Alice and 
  188 if you’re playing as someone else.
  89
  90
  91
   - You curtsy. “Your royal majesty, as the 
  Duchess is unfortunately otherwise en-
  gaged, due to the ill-timed fact that her villa 
  has fallen over, she has allowed me to represent her 
  and take her place. Sometimes I beat my sister when 
  we play, so I think you’ll find that I’m rather good - 
  although not as good as yourself, I’m sure, your maj-
  esty. Oh, where are my manners: I go by the name of 
  “Alice’, your ladyship.”  You curtsy several more times, 
  feeling quite out of your depth.
   
  “Well then,” says the Queen, handing you a croquet 
  mallet, “I suppose you’ll have to take her place!”
   
  An uruk places a strange, round leather ball in 
  front of the Queen, which she smashes with her mal-
  let. “Your turn,” she says as one of her subjects places 
  a strange leather ball in front of you too. 
   
  “These new Arma-dillo balls travel much better 
  than Hedgehogs,” says the Queen with pride. 
   
  Then the Queen notes with fury that her roses are 
  dripping paint, her husband leans over and whispers 
  in your ear: “Just play the game straight and fair, just 
  the way she likes it. She’ll make you regret it if you 
  don’t, knowing her temper…”
   
  If you protest to the Queen that this isn’t croquet 
  as you know it, go to 101; if you make a show of 
  whacking the Armor-dillo, but really only tap it, go to 
  107; if you whack it with as much force as you can 
  muster, go to 121.
  PARA 89 - 91 
  
  39
   
  Go to 100 if you fought the Jub-jub over your 
  song, 39 if you haven’t fought the bandersnatch or 
  the Jub-jub, 49 if you have fought the banders-
  natch and you flew on the Jub-jub, and 100 if you 
  fought the bandersnatch and the Jub-jub.
   - You stroll along the path until it splits 
  in three. If you’ve cured the leprechaun of 
  his addiction you may go to 157; other-
  wise you may follow the left path to 8, the right path 
  to 18, or the path straight ahead to 28.
   - Out comes his hand grasping… an un-
  familiar rabbit. “There’s a lot of rabbits in 
  this weird world,” you think dejectedly. 
   
  You thank the mad wizard and the hare for the 
  lovely magic trick and as a parting gift he gives you 
  his Mad Hat. You walk back into the thick of the for-
  est. Where to now? If you follow the strains of sing-
  ing to your left, go to 47; if you follow the smell 
  of smoke up ahead, go to 57; if you forage, go to 
  106; if you wander about aimlessly, go to 81.
   - The vegetable goes “snick!” as you snap 
  it between your teeth: you take two bites 
  and immediately begin to grow. “I fear 
  a three-bedroom house is too small for me now! I 
  shall have to upsize,” you think to yourself as your 
  legs burst out the front and back doors and your arms 
  poke out the windows. “In what room shall I find 
  space to host guests, and where shall the servants be 
  quartered?” you wonder aloud, your booming voice 
  rattling the glass panes.
   - Fortunately the Jub-jub bird is still on 
  the island when you return, perched on 
  the rock and practicing the tune. “Oh Jub-
  jub, you’ve got to help me! Two mean trolls guard a 
  door down there, and they won’t let me pass!”
   
  The nautically inclined bird stops singing and 
  starts sweating bullets. “Trolls? Stay away from them 
  - they probably work for the Queen!
   
  “Oh - They’re her heavies!” You think back, and 
  do remember that they wore a silly uniform covered 
  of some sort.
   
  The Jub-jub bends down so that you can climb 
  on. “We need to get away - they could come up any 
  minute!” You clamber onto its back and grip onto its 
  feathers as the Jub-jub takes to the skies. You acci-
  dentally pull several out as you hold tight.
   
  “Jub-jub, that’s cheating! You’re meant to be a 
  sailor!” you say as you fly over the weltering sea.  
   
  “No time for that now! So, where do you want to 
  go young lady?” 
   
  You tell it that you want to go find the white rab-
  bit, who’s meant to be meeting the Queen.
   
  “You’ve got a death wish you do! Out of the frying 
  pan and into the fire, eh? I’ll drop you off, but don’t 
  expect me to hang around!” 
   
  You thank the brave bird for its help. It flies 
  you over a forest of waves, underneath which you 
  can make out a canopy. “An underwater woodland? 
  Queerer and queerer!” Up ahead you see an elm 
  spangled hill rising out of the water, on the summit of 
  which lies a palace surrounded by a maze of hedges.
   
  “I’ll take you to the edge of the Queen’s garden, 
  but no way am I going in! She’s issued a bounty on 
  my head for eating her favorite leprechaun!” If you 
  tell the Jub-jub bird it sounds safer to be dropped 
  off in the forest, go to the second paragraph of 27; 
  if you let the Jub-jub bird drop you off at the edge of 
  the hedge maze, go to 22. If you want to just get 
  past those two trolls, get dropped off at  204. 
  92
  93
  94
  95
  PARA 92 - 95 
  95b
  - Make a 1st level saving roll on 
  your Intelligence. If you make the 
  roll, you remember that you have 
  the poppy circlet and you give it to the leprechaun; 
  go to the last paragraph of 163. If you missed 
  the roll or don’t have the poppy circlet, go to the 
  last paragraph of 57 and make another choice.  
  
  40
   - “Ah! Because they both have quills!”
       “Wrong!” says the mad wizard, “a logical 
  answer!” You frown and puff away at your 
  tea, venting your frustration by venting the smoke 
  out your nose like a little dragon.
   
  “What’s the difference between a hawk and a 
  handsaw?” asks the hare. 
   
  “Oh dear, I better impress them this time,” you 
  think. Take another level one intelligence saving roll: 
  if you pass, go to 21; if you fail, go to 11.
   - The flowers, impressed with your sing-
  ing, begin to accompany you: 
  “Where, or where, could the Queen of Uruks be?
  Tell me where she is if you saw her recently!
  She likely has a palace, likely rather close, 
  And she meets with a white rabbit 
  who is late and quite morose.”
   
  You end on an F so low and earthy that the flow-
  ers around you grow a little. “My dear, that was sim-
  ply divine! Oh, you must join the choir!”
   
  You curtsy. “Thank you, but I really must decline. 
  I’m looking for the Queen of Uruks, you see.”
   
  “Oh, the Queen: I’m sorry dear, I get so caught up 
  in the music that I rarely pay attention to the lyrics! 
  Just follow the heart trailer and you’ll be there in no 
  time. And take this before you go: a beautiful voice 
  should be accompanied by a beautiful face.” A cluster 
  of poppies entwine themselves into a poppy circlet, 
  which you place on your head. You thank the rose and 
  follow the heart-leaved vine up a forested hill. Even-
  tually you come across a maze of hedges on the slopes 
  of the hill, which seems to be in the shape of a square. 
  To enter the maze go to 22. To investigate an un-
  usual (yet somewhat appealing) scent, go to 57.
   
   - You walk back along the hedge corridor 
  until you return to the locked gate on your 
  left. “Let me in!” you cry to the slithy toves 
  inside, “I’ll help you paint those roses if you want!”
   
  “Shove off, we’re busy! Skilled job anyway, innit!” 
  one of the bestial humanoids shots back. If you have 
  both a food that makes you smaller and a food that 
  makes you larger, or wish to cast Knock Knock, go to 
  48; if not you may retrace your steps to 58 or 
  walk ahead to 68.
   - You scrutinize your face in the looking 
  glass. “Curiouser and curiouser: It looks 
  like me, but somehow it’s NOT me.”
   
  “I could say the same thing, are you me?” Your 
  reflection asks. 
   
  “Oh! Are you my reflection or am I yours? Which 
  of us IS me then?” You ask in shock.        
   
  “Perhaps we are both me, or contrary-wise maybe 
  neither of us is Alice and she is someone else,” your 
  reflection answers cryptically.
   
  You place your hand on the mirror, to make sure 
  it’s really there. Your doppelganger does the same, 
  then she says, “The only thing separating us is this 
  glass plane of existence. Come over to my side and we 
  can play together and I’ll show you my world.”
   
  If you decide to go through the mirror, go to 14. 
  Or you can go back to the Queen at 202. Other-
  wise take a 1st level luck saving roll. If you make it, go 
  to 105.  If you fail the roll, pick another option.
   - You’re hopelessly stuck, and there’s no 
  sign that the owner of the house is com-
  ing back soon. You’re left trapped in the 
  house for two nights and days (and left almost dead 
  from the experience: lower your constitution to one).
   
  “A… little help!” you wheeze out as a lizard-
  man walks past with a ladder, “I ate something… I 
  shouldn’t have!”
   
  The lizardman looks at your haggard face and 
  chapped lips in concern. “Ssolum’ll help you out, 
  will Ssolum. Don’t frown guvnoress, I’ll be down the 
  smokestack in a jiffy!” The wiry reptile leans his lad-
  der against the side of the house, flits up, and jumps 
  down the chimney.
   
  Your fork-tongued saviour lands in the fireplace 
  ashes then slithers into your mouth. “Hold on missy, 
  you’ll be right in no time!” If you spit him out, go to 
  31; if you leave him be, go to 41.
   - “Off with her head!” screams the Queen. 
  “Whoever dares criticise my rules criti-
  cizes me!” Two of her subject uruks frog 
  march you to the chopping block. Make a 2nd level 
  saving roll on DEX. If you wrench yourself free from 
  the uruks, go to 155; if not you can plead for your 
  life, go to 170.
  96
  98
  99
  100
  101
  97
  PARA 96 - 100 
  
  41
   - “Oh,” you say, step-
  ping back from the tree. 
  “Well, very well! Thank 
  you Madame Kitty Cat: I was rather 
  alarmed at the prospect of blindly 
  wandering this strange forest with-
  out a guide.”
   
  The sphinx grins even more 
  widely. “Tell me, little lost one - 
  where do you want to go? I know the 
  area like the back of my paw.” It re-
  arranges its stripes as it talks, seem-
  ingly for its own amusement.
   
  “I’m trying to find the Queen of 
  Uruks: is she close by?” you ask as 
  your guide deconstructs its torso. “And could you stop doing that? You’re mak-
  ing me rather dizzy.”  You realize everything in this weird world has that effect. 
   
  All but the tail of the curious sphinx disappears, which points up the hill. 
  “Just go up, up, and away!” says the creature before blinking out of existence.  
   
  “Up… up… up…” echoes its disembodied voice around you, the sound of its 
  recommendation slowly drifting upwards.
   
  “How disconcerting!” you think to yourself. “I’ve once seen a cat without a 
  voice, but never heard a voice without a cat!” Snow Drop mews in confusion at 
  the situation.
   
  Soon after you set off you’re distracted by the sound of a party in the thick 
  of the forest. “Oh, that does sound like fun! But I mustn’t investigate: I might 
  wind up getting lost, and I haven’t even been invited!” If you walk towards the 
  party regardless, go to 67; if you continue up the slope, go to 167.
   - The genie closes its eyes in concentration, and you hear its voice 
  in your head teach you how to cast the spell Take That You Fiend. 
  You thank the powerful spirit and return back along the path until 
  it splits in two. If you turn left, go to 74; if you keep going straight, go to 
  54. (Remember to add this new spell to your spell list.)
  102
   - The tunnel widens out into a small 
  limestone cavern. “Are those stalag-
  mites or stalactites? Let’s see… stalag-
  mites might fall, but stalactites hold tight… no, that’s 
  not right… how are stalagmites formed, anyway? Or 
  for that matter, stalactites?”
   
  While you ponder this question a blood bat 
  swoops down and bites your neck. Time to fight back.
  (If you have the anti-poison tablets you do not need 
  to do combat and are immune to its bite.)
   
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~ FOE: Blood Bat ~~~~~~~~~~~
  MR 12. If you are fighting without a light source you 
  have no personal adds. If the blood bat gets spite 
  damage against you it is restored to full MR. Gives a 
  vial of vampiric blood if defeated in combat.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  If you survive the fight you may either crawl out of 
  the tunnel back to the second paragraph of 53 or 
  follow the silent tunnel to 117.
  103
  104
  PARA 102 - 104 
  
  42
   - “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” says 
  the sphinx, as she appears on top of the 
  mirror. “I think you need to sleep on it.” 
  She casts a Rock-A-Bye spell on you. If you are Alice 
  go to 56. If you are not Alice go to 188.
   - You boldly march deeper and deeper 
  into the tulgey woods. “I’m not worried... 
  I’m not worried...” you keep saying to 
  yourself. “All I have to do is keep leaving pieces of bread 
  wherever I walk. That way it’s impossible to get lost.”  
   
  You watch in dismay as a flock of birds swoops 
  down and feasts on the breadcrumbs. “In any case, 
  if I stick to this stream I should be fine: that’s some-
  thing the dwarf told me when he found me on the 
  mountain.” The canopy eventually becomes so dense 
  that it blocks out the sun above. If you have a light 
  source, go to 156; if you don’t, go to 172.
   - “Off with her head!” screams the 
  Queen. “I have no love of weaklings!” 
  Two of her subject uruks frog march you 
  to the chopping block. If you want to wrench yourself 
  free from the uruks, first make a 2nd level saving roll 
  on STR -  if you succeed go to 155; otherwise you 
  plead for your life and go to 170.
   - You spend several hours helping the 
  hobb build the wall as best you can. Af-
  ter much huffing and puffing the bul-
  wark’s finally complete.
   
  “But sir, what good is it? It’s ever so tiny.”
   
  You look down at the foot-high barrier in dismay.
  Mr. Dumpty points at a caterpillar crawling up the 
  wall. “See that? That’s all we’re trying to keep out of 
  the Queen’s realm. They keep eating her beloved ros-
  es.” The engineer pretends not to see the larva crawl 
  over the fortification to the other side.
   
  He subtly grinds his shoe on the bug. “Whether it 
  stops them is no concern of mine: orders are orders, 
  especially in this kingdom. I’ve done my job as long 
  as it’s structurally sound. So now, time for the final 
  test…” Mr. Dumpty sits on the small wall, which col-
  lapses under his weight. “Oh no: the Queen’s horses 
  and men will be here to check on it at any minute!” 
  says the hobb, clutching his hat in alarm.  If you high-
   
   - The Queen of Uruks scowls at you. “A sur-
  face dweller, eh? Well then… if our realm 
  isn’t good enough for you, begone!” Go to 
  56 if you’re playing as Alice and 188 if you’re 
  playing as someone else.
  105
  106
  107
  108
  tail it out of there, go to 136; if you stick around to 
  defend Mr. Dumpty, go to 195.
   - Thirsty, you decide to drink from the 
  stagnant wishing well. The effect is al-
  most immediate: you’re overcome with 
  crippling nausea. Lower your speed for the rest of the 
  adventure by two.
   
  What now? If you munch the peach growing on 
  the tree engraved “eat me”, go to 50; if you munch 
  the crab-apple growing on the tree engraved “bite 
  me”, go to 60; if you throw a coin into the well and 
  wish for good luck on your journey, write down the 
  value of the coin (1-50) before going to 147.
   - You spend all day stumbling blindly 
  about the wilderness, but only manage to 
  get yourself hopelessly lost. “Oh fiddle-
  dee-dee!” you exclaim, “I’ll rest tonight and continue 
  tomorrow. What’s the rush?” You lay up against a 
  moss-covered tree and drift off to sleep. Go to 56 if 
  you’re playing as Alice. Go to 188 if you’re playing 
  as someone else.
  109
  111
  110
  PARA 105 - 111 
  
  43
   - “What, a wildcat?” you 
  sneer, “I think not. I - I’m 
  allergic to sphinxes anyway. 
  Go away!” If you cast Oh Go Away on 
  the Katras sphinx or use a toy slingshot 
  on it, go to 27; if not, go to 37.
   - You wade into the red and white brawl, hacking 
  away in a most unlady-like manner. Each round, 
  make 1st Level Strength, Dexterity, and Luck saving 
  rolls, along with two points of spite damage. If you make 9 suc-
  cessful saving rolls before taking enough spite damage to kill 
  you, your valorous efforts begin to turn the tide of the battle in 
  the King of Uruk’s favour. It’s not long until the dwarven army 
  is routed.
   
  “I admire your strength, pawn,” says the Queen of Uruks. 
  “Chess is a game where brawn trumps brains after all.” Go to the 
  third paragraph of 144.
   - The genie closes his eyes in concentration and trans-
  forms into a pouch of 500 gold coins. “I shall be re-
  leased once you spend me. Let’s hope you aren’t a mi-
  ser!” You thank the powerful spirit and return back along the path 
  until it splits in two. If you turn left, go to 74; if you keep going 
  straight, go to 54.
   - You walk along the hedge path for several minutes 
  until it splits in two. “Another fork in the road!” you 
  exclaim in frustration. “Or the maze, rather!”
  If you follow it left, go to 64; if you follow it right, go to 171.
  114
  115
  116
  112
  113
   - You nudge the 
  trolls in the ribs. 
  “What do krak-
  en like to eat?”
   
  “Whales, I tink,” says 
  Duk’dee. “And “umans too.”
   
  “Well, you’re on the 
  right track. Fish… and 
  ships!” you say. The trolls 
  chuckle.
   
  “Not bad, but I can’t 
  tell if yur really a jester. Es-
  pecially da Queen’s jester. 
  Sorry.”
   
  If you cast Oh Go Away, 
  go to 25; if you decide to 
  leave, go to 65; if you at-
  tack them, go to 75; If you 
  suck on a peach stone (if 
  you have one) and try to in-
  timidate them, go to 85.
  PARA 112 - 116 
  
  44
   - The passage is long and exhausting. Af-
  ter almost an hour it finally twists upwards 
  and outwards of a stump in the middle of 
  a forest filled with all manner of queer plants and ani-
  mals, all of which you find less and less curious and 
  more and more terrifying. “Oh, I’ll never make it out 
  of here…” you say, sobbing into the handkerchief you 
  embroidered last winter.
   
  Where to now? If you follow the strains of sing-
  ing to your left, go to 47; if you follow the smell of 
  smoke up ahead, go to 57; if you follow the sounds 
  of a party to your right, go to 67; if you forage, go to 
  106; if you wander about aimlessly, go to 81.
   - Inside the bathroom is a locked glass 
  medicine cabinet and a mirror which al-
  most irresistibly draws your attention. 
  For just a second, your reflection winks at you. If you 
  smash the cabinet open, go to 154; if you cast 
  Knock Knock on the cabinet, go to 164; if you 
  examine yourself in the looking glass, go to 174; 
  otherwise you may enter the bedroom at 63, enter 
  the kitchen at 73, enter the lounge at 83, enter 
  the cellar at 128, enter the loft at 138, or exit 
  the house and continue along the path at the third 
  paragraph of 17.
   - You clamber into the treehouse and 
  find an obese man inside lying on a bed 
  of oyster shells.
   
  “Urghhh…” exclaims the man, rolling on to his 
  side to face you.
   
  “You wouldn’t believe how many oysters I’ve eat-
  en over the past fortnight…”
  “Is shellfish quite fattening? I thought it was slim-
  ming rather, although… I could be wrong on that,” 
  you say, eyeing the morbid man and wondering.
   
  The roly-poly man clutches several of the shells 
  and holds them out to you. “Seven thousand. I ate sev-
  en thousand of the buggers and I regret eating the lot… 
  now I’m too fat to get out the door!” You’re surprised 
  that the floorboards can even support his weight.
   
  If you tell him to go on a diet, go to 185; if 
  you tell him to go on a diet and give him a cabbage, 
  go to 176; if you give him a food which will make 
  him shrink, go to 190; otherwise you leave and 
  the path you walk back along soon splits in two: if you 
  turn left, go to 74; if you keep going straight, go to 
  54.
   - “I accept the invitation. Inform the 
  Queen that I shall attend,” you say, grace-
  fully taking the Duchess’ invitation from 
  the messenger’s hand. You hurriedly leave as the real 
  Duchess opens the door.
   
  You follow the path back until the path splits in 
  two. If you follow it left, go to 94; if you follow it 
  right, go to 115.
   - Make a level one strength saving roll. 
  If you pass, go to 141; if you fail, go to 
  107.
   - You spend several hours helping the 
  hobb build the wall as best you can. After 
  much huffing and puffing the bulwark’s 
  finally complete.
   
  “Well sir, it’s finished… but what good is it? It’s 
  ever so tiny.”
   
  You look down at the foot-high barrier in dismay.
  Mr. Dumpty points at a caterpillar crawling up the 
  wall. “See that? That’s all we’re trying to keep out of 
  the Queen’s realm.
   
  “They keep eating her beloved roses.” The engi-
  neer pretends not to see the larva crawl over the forti-
  fication to the other side. He subtly grinds his shoe on 
  the bug. “Ahem...Whether it stops them is no concern 
  of mine: orders are orders, especially in this kingdom. 
  I’ve done my job as long as it’s structurally sound. So 
  now, time for the final test…” Mr. Dumpty sits on the 
  small wall, which holds even under his ample weight.
   
  “We’ve done it! Little girl, take this copper egg 
  from me as a reward for saving my life - with mater-
  nal care, I’m sure it’ll hatch quickly. The Queen of 
  Uruks would have surely thrown me off a larger wall 
  than this if I had failed!” You thank Mr. Dumpty be-
  fore walking further into the woods.
   
  Soon all that’s left of the desert is a yellow path 
  wending through the forest. You follow it down a val-
  ley, passing a barred door carved into the slope, and 
  up the other side, passing a house with a white picket 
  fence. Something causes you to pause as the house 
  reminds you of something.  Go to 53.
  118
  119
  120
  121
  122
  117
  PARA 117 - 122 
  
  45
   - You sprint around the raging melee 
  and make straight for the final brook. 
  “Go mate, go! C’mon! Bloody gorgeous, 
  ya bloody legend!” cries out the King of Uruks as you 
  dive across the little stream.
   
  With blinding speed the rook of dwarves tackles 
  you mid-air and pins you to the ground. Take a level 
  one strength saving roll: if you fail, go to 133; if 
  you pass, go to 143.
   - As you gingerly wrap the precious egg-
  shell in leaves, and place it in your back-
  pack, you hear the sound of a large bird-
  like creature.
   
  “Serpent! Serpent!” screeches the lory as it alights 
  on the tree. “Get away from my babies - eat them and 
  I’ll peck your eyes out!”
   
  “What’s there to eat you mad monster, they’ve all 
  hatched! And I’m not a serpent, I’m a little girl named 
  Alice - pleased to make your acquaintance.” Even in 
  times of crisis you make sure to mind your manners.
   
  “Serpent! Serpent! Lies: serpents always tell lies! 
  I’ve seen little girls before, and they don’t go stealing 
  eggs from nests… they play with their dollies, and 
  curtsy, and say ‘how do you do?’ Serpent!” The ghar-
  rian lory dive bombs you. 
  ~~~~~~~~~~ FOE: Gharrian Lory~~~~~~~~~
  MR 10. Melee weapons roll one less dice against this 
  foe. (ignore melee instruction if using the mini-rules)
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  If you survive the fight you may enter the treehouse at 
  119 or turn back to 76. If you don’t survive the 
  fight, your adventure ends here.
   - The hedge path quickly splits in two. If 
  you follow it straight, go to 88; if you 
  follow it right, go to 98; if you turn 
  back the way you came, go to 78.
   - You have decided to run away from the 
  Queen as you suspect her plans for you 
  are likely to be fatal. As you wander in the 
  woods you come across a large framed mirror par-
  tially covered by vines. To investigate the mirror, go 
  to 99.  To return to the Queen go to 202.
   - The genie melds into your body and em-
  powers you with his spiritual energy: one 
  of your attributes is raised by two. You 
  thank the powerful spirit and return back along the 
  path until it splits in two. If you turn left, go to 74; 
  if you keep going straight, go to 54.
  123
  124
  125
  126
  127
  128
   - You enter an ill-lit cellar carved from 
  stone. “So many bottles of vin du pays, 
  just like father’s. They say that a good 
  bottle of Xhenxen claret is worth more than a good 
  work of art. Or a bad work of art, for that matter.”
   
  As you taste test the wine with increasing fervor 
  (increase your strength by two and decrease your in-
  telligence by two), you hear the skittering of moon-
  rats, (or is it mome raths, you think.) Either way, a 
  swarm of the creatures is upon you. 
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~ FOE: Moon Rats ~~~~~~~~~~~
  MR 8. If you are fighting without a light source you 
  have no personal adds.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   
  Although they are no larger than average they 
  seem gargantuan if you are in your shrunken state.
   
  If you survive the fight you may either return to 
  the second paragraph of 53 or crawl through the 
  mouse hole - or rather rat hole - to 148.
  PARA 123 - 128 
  
  46
   - You tell him that you’ll do your best, 
  and warm some nearby wax with your 
  heat source so that you may roughly 
  shape it into a human figure. Once you have done 
  this, you deftly chisel away the wax until you have a 
  pretty good likeness of the Queen within your hands.
   
  “Marvellous for one as young as yourself! I see 
  a budding career opening up in front of you, young 
  girl - take this semiprecious stone, and practice your 
  sculpting on it!” You thank the artist as you take the 
  Veldtian ruby, then take your leave and either return 
  the way you came to 36, or exit the maze to 134.
   - The messengers point towards the rose 
  garden with their fins.
      “The Queen will play croquet in an 
  hour in the rose garden,” one messenger says.
      “In the rose garden, in an hour, the Queen will play 
  croquet,” says the other.
      “Just follow the path to the left, then follow the path 
  to the right,” says the first messenger.
      “And to return, just follow the path to the right, 
  then follow the path to the left,” says the other.
   
  You thank them and follow the path back until it 
  splits in two. If you follow it left, go to 94; if you 
  follow it right, go to 115.
   - The genie closes his eyes in concen-
  tration, and drifts under the earth. Mo-
  ments later the ground beneath your feet 
  trembles. You jump aside, and watch in horror as the 
  white rabbit clambers out of the hole, bloodied and 
  already decaying.
   
  “Mmmmarshter… mmmmarshter tried to shave 
  me… from the bandersnatch… my eternal thanksh-
  hh… to mmmmarshter…” the rabbit gargles.
   
  “I’m sure he’ll make a loyal ally,” says the genie, 
  from inside the dishevelled beast. The zombie rabbit 
  clasps its head in pain.
   
  “Saaave me, mmmmarshter! The voishes… the 
  voishes in my head! They make me do thingshhh…” 
  Seemingly fighting with itself, the rabbit jerks its 
  limbs in a grotesque dance. Though you were hoping 
  for  the rabbit to be more ‘alive’ you thank the genie 
  and command the zombie rabbit to follow you along 
  the path. Soon the path splits in two: if you turn left, 
  go to 44; if you keep going straight, go to 54.
   - You spend several hours helping the 
  hobb build the wall as best you can. After 
  much huffing and puffing the bulwark’s 
  finally complete.
   
  “Well sir, it’s finished… but what good is it? It’s 
  ever so tiny.” You look down at the foot-high barrier 
  in dismay.
   
  Mr. Dumpty points at a caterpillar crawling up 
  the wall. “See that? That’s all we’re trying to keep out 
  of the Queen’s realm.
   
  They keep eating her beloved roses.” The engi-
  neer pretends not to see the larva crawl over the for-
  tification to the other side. He subtly grinds his shoe 
  on the bug. “Whether it stops them is no concern of 
  mine: orders are orders, especially in this kingdom. 
  I’ve done my job as long as it’s structurally sound. So 
  now, time for the final test…” Mr. Dumpty sits on the 
  small wall, which collapses under his weight.
   
  “Oh no: the Queen’s horses and men will be here 
  to check on it at any minute!” says the hobb, clutching 
  his hat in alarm. If you hightail it out of there, go to 
  136; if you decide to stick around to help defend 
  Mr. Dumpty, go to 195.
  130
  131
  132
  129
  PARA 129 - 132 
  
  47
   - You fruitlessly struggle to escape the 
  rook’s grasp. “This is quite useless…” you 
  think to yourself. “How can a eleven and-
  a-half year old girl overcome a dwarf?”
   
  “Off with her head!” screams the Queen. “I have 
  no love of milksops and softies!” Two of her subject 
  uruks frog march you to the chopping block. If you 
  try to wrench yourself free from the uruks, make a 1st 
  level saving roll on DEX. If you make it, go to 155; 
  if you instead plead for your life, go to 170.
   - “I was beginning to think I should nev-
  er find my way out of that confusing laby-
  rinth. If I ever return there I shall carry 
  with me a ball of twine, like that hero in Deathtrap 
  Dungeon. What was his name, Oxuul or Oxuum? 
  They sound so similar, but I’m sure one was an adven-
  turer and the other was a cobbler… my sister shall not 
  be pleased I’ve forgotten her history lesson already.”  
   
  You plod along a path that wends further up the 
  hill, recounting the plot of the myth as you go. You 
  can make out what look like farmers tilling small, 
  square plots of land in the distance, each separated 
  by trilling brooks.
   
  Upon getting closer, however, you realize that 
  you’re actually looking at a giant chessboard on 
  which the forces of the King of Uruks and the King of 
  Dwarves battle each other.
   
  “Ah, fresh reinforcements!” shouts the Queen of 
  Uruks to her beleaguered husband. “Take any square 
  on the second rank.”
   
  “Men,” she says, addressing all her pawns, “let’s 
  fight a hard game! Last one to the eighth rank’s a rot-
  ten egg!” Her army cheers and rushes forwards.
   
  “This is not quite how I normally play,” you think 
  to yourself, watching the pieces hack and slash at 
  each other with their weapons in a giant scrummage*. 
  “The stakes are certainly higher. I hope I don’t wind 
  up being sacrificed in a gamble.”
   
  “Pawn!” shouts the King of Uruks, “you heard the 
  Queen - advance!” If you join the scrummage, go to 
  113. If you run around the group and make for the 
  eighth rank, which is defended by a dwarven rook, go 
  to 123. If you run towards the King of Dwarves, 
  who is defended by two knights, go to 144.
       (*A scrummage is a tightly packed and disorderly group.)
   - As you gingerly wrap the precious egg-
  shell in leaves, and place it in your back-
  pack, you hear the sound of a bird ahead. 
  You place the copper egg in the nest and hide behind 
  a tree. A Gharrian lory alights on the edge of the tree, 
  hops into its nest, and nestles itself on the metal egg. 
  After several seconds you hear the sound of crack-
  ing, and see a colorful smoke waft from the broken 
  cocoon.
   
  The bird rubs its eyes in disbelief as the cloud of 
  smoke begins to take form: to take form in the shape 
  of a genie! “What mortal hast freed me from mine en-
  casement? Reveal thine self, speak your desire, and 
  watch in wonder as it is brought to bear!”
   
  You eagerly stride out from behind the tumtum 
  trunk. “Hello, hello, I’m the mortal, your saviour: 
  three more wishes please!”
   
  The genie looks it you in scorn. “Oh, yeah, like I 
  hath not heard that one before in all mine cycles of 
  imprisonment. I’m a minor djinni: tone it down, wilst 
  thou? I can grant you one wish and one wish only...” 
   
  You apologize for what you thought was a witty 
  scheme. And think about what to wish for. If you wish 
  for a magic artefact, go to 142; if you wish for an 
  ancient spell, go to 103; if you wish for fabulous 
  riches, go to 114; if you wish for raw power, go to 
  127; if the white rabbit has died and you wish it 
  to be brought back to life, go to 131; if you wish 
  to be restored to perfect health, go to 149; if you 
  wish to return home and you are Alice, go to 56. if 
  you wish to return home and you are not Alice, go to 
  188.
   - “It sounds like you’re in a dire plight, 
  but I must be off. Good luck, Mr. Dump-
  ty.” The hobb curses you as you walk away 
  further into the woods.
   
  Soon all that’s left of the desert is the yellow path 
  wending through the forest. You follow it down a val-
  ley, passing a barred door carved into the slope, and 
  up the other side, passing a cottage with a white pick-
  et fence. Something draws you to the cottage so you 
  decide to take a look.  Go to 53.
  133
  135
  136
  134
  PARA 133 - 136 
  
  48
   - The Dodo glares at you in fury and dis-
  belief. “I feel like chicken tonight? And I 
  suppose you think that’s funny, do you? 
  (NOTE if you did NOT teach the Dodo a song, it also 
  attacks you.)  After I saved your life, saved you from 
  drowning, you think it’s a bit of laugh to joke about 
  eating us birds? Well I’ll shut you up, you ungrateful 
  girl!” The Dodo attacks you in a rage. 
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FOE: Dodo ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
         The Dodo has an MR 10 and can fly.  
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   
  If you lose the fight, you have died in Weirdworld 
  and wake up where you started this adventure. If you 
  survive the fight, the Dodo bird flies away when its 
  MR reaches two. You then notice the white rabbit 
  running around the mulberry bush. 
   
  “Oh white rabbit, there you are! But why are you 
  taking part in this fruitless activity - aren’t you late, 
  late, for a very important date?”
   
  The rabbit looks at her pocket watch and sprints 
  past the other animals jogging around the bush. “Oh 
  no, I’m later than ever! Time is like a blade! Out, out 
  of my way!” she says shoving them aside. Go to the 
  fourth paragraph of 55.
   - You clamber up into a dark, musty loft. 
  “Achoo! Look at all this junk… no wonder 
  the rest of the cottage looks so tidy, the 
  owner uses this space as a rubbish tip!” Nonetheless, 
  you can’t help rummaging through it. Behind a rack of 
  livery you find a bookshelf. If you have a light source 
  you may take a level one luck and a level one intelli-
  gence saving roll: if you pass both checks you find and 
  learn the spell Poor Baby in one of the tomes.
   
  Where to now? If you enter the bedroom, go to 
  63; if you enter the kitchen, go to 73; if you enter 
  the lounge, go to 83; if you enter the bathroom, go 
  to 118; if you enter the cellar, go to 128; if you 
  exit the house and continue along the path, go to the 
  third paragraph of 17.
   - You nudge the trolls in the ribs. “Better 
  for a troll to remain silent and be thought 
  a fool than open his mouth and remove 
  all doubt.” 
   
  “You call us fools? We fight you!”
  ~~~~~~~ FOE: Duk’dum and Duk’dee~~~~~~
  MR 20. (10 MR each) If the trolls score any Spite 
  Damage, they roll 1 extra die next round.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  If you survive the fight with Duk’dum and Duk’dee go 
  to the second paragraph of 13.
   - The wasp hums with pleasure as it 
  cleans out the marmalade. You walk 
  past it into the orchard. You pick one of 
  the fuchsia fruit and stuff it in your mouth. “Hmm, 
  no growth spurts this time! I do feel rather funny 
  though. I hope I’m not fructose intolerant.” You may 
  swap any two attributes.
   
  Now feeling full, you leave the orchard and return 
  the way you came, walking along the hedge corridor 
  until it splits in two. If you walk straight ahead, go to 
  24; if you turn right, go to 44.
   - Your Armor-dillo bounces even more 
  dramatically than the Queen’s. “Very 
  good!” says the amused monarch. “You’re 
  clearly an expert in the fine art of croquet! Walk with 
  me child and we shall chat.” Go with the queen to 
  202 or run away to 126.
  139
  140
  141
  137
  138
  PARA 137 - 141 
  
  49
   - The genie closes his eyes in concentra-
  tion, and transforms into an incorporeal 
  mantle. “I shall protect until you per-
  ish or sell me, whichever comes first!” You thank the 
  powerful spirit and return back along the path until it 
  splits in two. If you turn left, go to 74; if you keep 
  going straight, go to 54.
   - Grunting in a most unlady-like man-
  ner, you throw the rook off you and be-
  gin to pummel him.  
  ~~~~~~~~~~ FOE: Dwarven Rook ~~~~~~~~~~
       MR 18, 8 hits. 
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
   
  “Foul!” cries the King of Dwarves, “red card!”
   
  “Over-ruled!” says the King of Uruks, watching 
  the fight with interest.
   
  If you lose, you die. If you survive the fight with 
  the dwarven rook, your simple day frock transforms 
  into a gold-laced dress and a sceptre of healing ma-
  terializes in your hands. You also find that you’ve 
  gained the ability to run extraordinarily quickly. (In-
  crease your Speed by 3 points.) “Very good, sister!” 
  says the Queen of Uruks. “You’re clearly an expert in 
  the fine art of chess!”
   
  You curtsy and explain that you practice often 
  with your father, although you do play according to 
  Oxford rules, which are a trifle different. “Tres bien, 
  tres bien. C’est la vie. Dien Bien Phu,” she says. “No 
  need to curtsy anymore. You’re a queen now too.” 
  You curtsy once again and thank her for the promo-
  tion. You ask what else is on the agenda today, and 
  suggest a game of bridge. “That’s a game I play with 
  my sister,” you explain. “I play chess with my father 
  and bridge with my sister. My father’s a commander, 
  but my sister prefers the social games, you see.”
   
  The Queen smiles, then gasps in horror. You turn 
  around and see the King of Uruks run down by the 
  King of Dwarves. The King’s head rolls to your feet. 
  He looks up at you and tries to say something but is 
  unable to.  The sight of it all is too much and you be-
  gin to feel your legs go wobbly. You start to fall.
   
  “Get up and defend me you impudent wench!” 
  screams the distraught Queen. 
  Go to 56 if you’re playing as Alice and 188 if 
  you’re playing as someone else.
   - You charge towards the King, and are 
  met with the dwarven knights’ lance. If 
  you survive the fight you decapitate the 
  cowering monarch with ease.
  ~~~~~~~~~ FOE: Dwarven Knight ~~~~~~~~~
  MR 12. Has double adds during the first round of 
  combat.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   
  Very good!” says the Queen of Uruks. “You’re 
  clearly an expert in the fine art of chess! Walk with me 
  and we shall discuss various matters.” Go to 202.
   - You tell the sculptor that art is your 
  worst subject and thank him for the infor-
  mation about the Queen. You take your 
  leave and either return the way you came to 36 or 
  exit the maze to 134.
   
  - “How could I possibly ignore 
  your plight? Mr. Dumpty, pass 
  me a brick!” you say, pulling 
  up the sleeves of your dress. The hobb ea-
  gerly places a rock in your hand, which is so 
  heavy you almost drop it.  
   
  “The first thing we need to figure out 
  is how to build this wall. Should we put the 
  largest rocks at the bottom and the small-
  est at the top, make the wall have an even 
  thickness at all heights, or cap the top with 
  the largest rocks?”  Go to 146b.
  146
  143
  144
  145
  142
  PARA 142 - 146 
  
  50
   - “I thought you’re the chief engi-
  neer!” you say to the embarrassed 
  fellow.
   
  “I AM the chief engineer, it’s true! It’s just… I 
  don’t hold any qualifications or experience. I’m the 
  Knave’s friend, you see…”
   
  You look at the barrow of rocks sadly. “Well Mr. 
  Dumpty, your guess how to build the wall is as good 
  as mine.”
   
  “Then guess! At least I might not be blamed if 
  it all falls down,” he says impatiently. If you put the 
  largest rocks at the bottom of the wall, go to 108; 
  if you put the largest rocks at the top of the wall, go to 
  122; if you intersperse the large rocks throughout 
  the wall, go to 132.
   - Make a level nine Luck saving roll (60) 
  and add the value of the coin you threw 
  to your roll: if you pass 60 your Luck is 
  permanently raised by one. If you have already been 
  here you get no Luck increase. What now? If you 
  munch the peach growing on the tree engraved “eat 
  me”, go to 50; if you munch the crab-apple grow-
  ing on the tree engraved “bite me”, go to 60; if you 
  drink from the stagnant wishing well, go to 109.
   - You fall down to your knees and shuf-
  fle into the dark tunnel. The tunnel soon 
  splits in two: the flapping of wings can 
  be heard from the left passage, and nothing can be 
  heard from the right. If you follow the left passage, go 
  to 104; if you follow the right, go to 117.
   - The genie melds into your body and 
  totally reinvigorates you: all of your at-
  tributes are restored and 
  your hay fever disappears. You thank 
  the powerful spirit and return back 
  along the path until it splits in two. 
  If you turn left, go to 74; if you 
  keep going straight, go to 54.
   - The wigged wasp buzzes 
  angrily as you brazenly intrude 
  upon its territory, and flies at 
  you as you near its tumtums.
   
  ~~~~~~~~~~ FOE: Wigged Wasp ~~~~~~~~~~
  MR 16.  If the wasp scores Spite Damage, you are 
  stung and your combat adds are halved for the rest of 
  the combat. Gives a waspish wig if defeated.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   
  If you survive the fight with the selfish bug you 
  pick one of the fuchsia fruit and stuff it in your mouth. 
  “Hmm, no growth spurts this time! I do feel rather 
  funny though. I hope I’m not allergic to fruit now.” 
  What you realize is that the fruit allows you to swap 
  any two attributes with each other. Now feeling full, 
  you leave the orchard and return the way you came, 
  walking along the hedge corridor until it splits in two. 
  If you walk straight ahead, go to 24; if you turn 
  right, go to 44.
   - You bravely dash towards the repulsive 
  beast, fully intending to save your new 
  friend. 
  ~~~~~~~~~~ FOE: Bandersnatch ~~~~~~~~~~
  MR 10  If the bandersnatch scores any spite damage 
  on you, it steals half your gold each time it rolls a 6.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  However, even if you survive your battle with the de-
  vious creature you realize that there’s little hope for 
  the would-be morsel.
   
  “Must… be going…” splutters the now dying rab-
  bit in your arms, her eyes glazing over as she speaks.
  You stroke her head. “Mrs. Rabbit, you’re too man-
  gled and bloody to go gallivanting! At least rest 
  awhile. Tell me where to find the doctor for this part 
  of the countryside - I’ll carry you there,” you say as 
  you watch tumbleweeds roll past.
   
  The rabbit looks at her pocket watch one last time, 
  her bloody paw leaving violent streaks on the crystal 
  face. “Take… this. I-It can summon the blade... 
  Tap it th-three times...Tell the Queen… I’m not… 
  going… to make… our date.”
   “I promise,” you reply sadly. 
  You take the rabbit’s pock-
  et watch and cradle her as she 
  breathes her last. You wonder what she 
  meant about the watch. If you dig the 
  rabbit a grave, go to 29; if you leave 
  her to the wild animals that are slowly 
  approaching, go to 59.
  146b
  148
  149
  150
  151
  147
  PARA 146b - 151 
  
  51
   - You gulp down the concoction and im-
  mediately feel energized. Restore your 
  wizardry and permanently raise it by one. 
  (This only works on your first visit this location.)
   
  “Kremmatic tea! I’ve always wanted to try it, but 
  father says it’s much too strong for children. I per-
  sonally think the taste is rather subtle, like owlflowers 
  or whisperfruit” you say to no-one in particular. You 
  also pick up the backpack; you think it will be useful.
   
  As you linger in the room you notice the walking 
  sticks leaning against the wall begin to twitch. If you 
  take the cabbages, go to 158; if you decipher the 
  message, go to 165; if you cast Knock Knock on 
  the chest, go to 180; if you hightail it out of there, 
  go to 30; if this isn’t the first time you’ve noticed 
  the sticks twitch, go to 175.
   - “Well then,” says the Queen of Uruks, 
  handing you a croquet mallet, “I suppose 
  you’ll have to take her place!” An uruk 
  places a round, leather ball in front of the Queen, which 
  she smashes with her mallet. “Your turn,” she says as 
  one of her subjects places a strange, leather ball in front 
  straight and fair, just the way she likes it. She’ll make 
  you regret it if you don’t, knowing her temper…”
   
  Suddenly the ball in front of you unrolls itself and 
  starts to scamper about! “Oh my ball - It’s alive! What 
  is it?” The 4-legged creature sniffs at your feet, you 
  impulsively pick it up for a closer look.
   
  The Queen huffs, “Its an Armor-dillo my dear and 
  quite indestructible. I thought you’d played croquet 
  before?” she asks suspiciously. You stand there hold-
  ing the creature, as they place another rolled up one 
  at your feet. You put the other one of the ground and 
  it hops, then scampers away.
   
  “Well I...” If you protest to the Queen that this 
  isn’t croquet as you know it, go to 101; if you make 
  a show of whacking the Armor-dillo, but really only 
  tap it, go to 107; if you whack it with as much force 
  as you can muster, go to 121.
   - You punch the glass cabinet causing 
  shards to fly everywhere. “That was rath-
  er silly of me!” you exclaim, as your hand 
  bleeds out on the floor. “I hope there’s a needle and 
  thread in this cottage for I shall have to stitch myself 
  up. It’s lucky Miss Petticoat taught me how to em-
  broider.” Take one die of damage to your CON.
   
  Inside the cabinet lie all sorts of jars and bottles. 
  “The owner of this abode must be very ill - or some 
  kind of poor addict,” you say looking at a bottle of cod 
  liver oil and a jar of anti-poison tablets.
  If you examine yourself in the mirror, go to 174; 
  otherwise you may enter the bedroom at 63, enter 
  the kitchen at 73, enter the lounge at 83, enter 
  the cellar at 128, enter the loft at 138, or exit 
  the house and continue along the path at the third 
  paragraph of 17.
   - With desperate strength you wrench 
  yourself free from the uruk lackeys, seem-
  ingly taking them by surprise. You’ve just 
  enough time to grab your weapon to defend yourself. 
  ~~~~~~~~~~ FOE: Uruk Lackeys ~~~~~~~~~~
  MR 18. The uruks don’t lose adds if they are hurt.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   
  If you survive, the Queen begins to clap. “A mar-
  vellous performance, simply marvellous. I think you’re 
  the champion I’ve been searching for; forget the cro-
  quet game, come walk with me.” Go to 202.
  152
  153
  154
  155
  of you too.
   
  While the Queen notes with 
  fury that her roses are dripping 
  paint, her husband leans 
  over and whispers in 
  your ear: “Just 
  play the game 
  PARA 152 - 155 
  
  52
   - You follow the brook until you hit upon 
  a glade. An ancient cabbage tree towers 
  in the middle of the clearing, hogging the 
  light for itself. “But cabbages don’t grow on trees” 
  you think to yourself, “they’re delivered by Farmer 
  Thompson on a Friday!” You may harvest one die roll 
  of cabbages from the tree before trekking back along 
  the stream.
   
  Where to now? If you follow the strains of sing-
  ing to your left, go to 47; if you follow the smell of 
  smoke up ahead, go to 57; if you follow the sounds 
  of a party to your right, go to 67; if you wander 
  about aimlessly, go to 81.
   - You see the leprechaun strolling towards 
  you. He’s now sporting an egregious num-
  ber of ruffs and grasping a teak walking 
  cane (which is also adorned with several ruffs, each 
  frillier than the last).
   
  The ridiculous creature holds its arms out wide 
  as if bumping into an old schoolfellow. “My dear girl, 
  what a pleasure to bump into you again! Did you 
  manage to meet with her majesty, the Queen?”
   
  You shake your head. “I’m horribly lost Mr. Lep-
  rechaun, I fear I’ll never see her at this rate. But sir, 
  what happened to you? You looked so shabby before, 
  and now you look so… dapper!”
   
  The little green man puffs up his tiny chest (which 
  is already quite puffy to begin with). “I’ve really 
  cleaned up my act since you told me to stop smok-
  ing opium. I’ve gone back to my old job as Her Excel-
  lency’s treasurer: I’m in charge of all the gold!”
   
  He leans in closer. “And between you and me, 
  I’m even able to take some on the side…” He rubs his 
  hands gleefully. “As for you being lost, never fret my 
  girl.” He points to the right with his cane. “The rose 
  garden is just a short distance that way: her excel-
  lency the Queen is expected to be there soon. Good 
  luck staying on her good side… she’s a little… ill tem-
  pered.” And indeed, he does more than just wish you 
  good luck - he permanently increases your luck by one 
  and casts Better Lucky Than Good spell on you be-
  fore sauntering away. This spell allows you to use your 
  luck attribute instead of any other for one Saving Roll.
   
  The path splits in three. If you follow the left path, 
  go to 8; if you follow the right path, go to 18; if 
  you follow the path straight ahead, go to 28.
   - You furtively stuff the five cabbages into 
  the backpack that was lying there. “Veg-
  etables: I prefer brioche, but these will 
  have to do. Perhaps I can wrap them in pastry some-
  how. Miss Petticoat tells me to always be thankful, so 
  thank you Mr. Stranger for your hospitality.”
   
  As you linger in the room you notice the walking 
  sticks leaning against the wall begin to twitch. If you 
  drink the tea, go to 152; If you decipher the mes-
  sage, go to 165; if you cast Knock Knock on the 
  chest, go to 180; if you hightail it out of there, go 
  to 30; if this isn’t the first time you’ve noticed the 
  sticks twitch, go to 175.
  158
  159
  156
  157
   - Since a kiss is supposed to wake her up, 
  you can only hope that a kiss from you 
  will have the same effect as the kiss of 
  a prince. You bend over her and give her a kiss like 
  the ones you’ve seen your sister give to her beau. You 
  turn back to the Queen, “Although this may seem 
  quite unorthodox, your majesty,  perhaps it will work 
  to wake her.”
   
  The princess begins to toss and turn in the coffin 
  before sitting up and saying: “Where am I? Did some-
  one just kiss me?” 
   
  “Success!” you cry.
   
  “Excellent!” says the Queen of Uruks. “However 
  my dear, I neglected to say that the sleep spell now 
  falls upon you instead of my daughter.” 
   
  “What? Oh, I do feel rather...” You suddenly be-
  gin to get very tired as everything goes black and you 
  feel yourself falling. Go to 56 if you’re playing as 
  Alice and 188 if you’re playing as someone else.
  PARA 156 - 159 
  
  53
   - Was your answer “a map”? If it was, go 
  to 179. If it wasn’t, go to 162.
   - Either eat a nice juicy cabbage or take 
  one die of damage from the desert heat. 
  You lean next to a cactus with rubber 
  thorns, unable to go further for the day, despondent 
  about your situation yet not entirely put out. “I must 
  take heart from this cactus,” you say to yourself, care-
  fully patting one of its branches, “for it not only pro-
  vides nourishment, but also marks that things are 
  growing in this part of this desert. Perhaps I’ll find an 
  oasis tomorrow.” You end your pep talk to greedily 
  suck sap from its trunk. 
   
  Settling down you try to sleep, but even though 
  you are exhausted, you’re kept up by the heat even 
  at night. Make a level one luck saving roll when you 
  wake up and begin walking once again. If you pass, 
  read on; if you fail, go to the beginning of this para-
  graph and walk the desert for another day.
   
  The next day you continue hobbling through the 
  desert, pleased to find that the vegetation does indeed 
  become more abundant as you go. By lunchtime the 
  trees are so numerous that their boughs twine into a 
  near-contiguous canopy. You hear a squeaky wheel in 
  the distance, and hopefully go to 201.
   - You think about it for several long min-
  utes, but nothing springs to mind. The 
  Katras sphinx eventually grows bored 
  and winks out of existence limb by limb.
   
  “Hmm... she wasn’t really very helpful, even 
  though she pretends to be. I think she may be taunt-
  ing me,” you exclaim angrily. If you turn left, go to 
  171; if you keep going straight, go to 54.
   - “Ah” you say, holding up your finger, 
  “now we’re getting somewhere. Notice 
  how you asked for your hookah when 
  I asked about your male parent figure? The hoo-
  kah represents your mother. Now, when I ask about 
  your father, you feel threatened (this is typical), so 
  you seek the warmth of a maternal embrace - or the 
  opium pipe, if you will. The opium pipe soothes you, 
  doesn’t it, Mr. Leprechaun?”
   
  The little man frowns. “Of course it soothes me, 
  lassie. It’s full of opium.”
   
  You nod knowingly. “Yes, opium… or in your case, 
  ‘mother’s milk.’ But Mr. Leprechaun you must grow 
  past your addiction to ‘opium.’ You see, the process of 
  growing older involves inculcating a certain distance 
  between one’s parents, aloofness, even hauteur. Now, 
  you are halfway there - your father’s abandoned you, 
  that’s a step in the right direction - but to truly de-
  velop as a leprechaun you must give up the hookah. It 
  is my belief that this will help you move on from the 
  memory of your mother’s unfortunate demise. Trust 
  me on this: I’m eleven-and-a-half you know.”  
   
  The leprechaun blinks in amazement. “So you’re 
  saying that because I’ve been using opium to forget 
  about my mother I’ve come to associate the drug with 
  her? That using it rekindles my memory of her, so I 
  need to quit my habit to truly forget?”
   
  You smile. “Indubitably.”
   
  The little green man jumps up and hands you 
  a copper egg in thanks. “You’ve cured me! Further 
  sessions won’t be necessary - how can I thank you?” 
   
  You ask how to find the Queen of Uruks.
   
  “Oh, that’s easy. Just follow the heart trailer and 
  you’ll be there in no time!” You thank the leprechaun 
  and follow the heart-leaved vine up a forested hill. 
  You’ll come across a maze of hedges which seems 
  to be in the shape of a square. To enter the maze go 
  to 22.  Your expanded mind returns and you’ve 
  forgotten all the psychological knowledge you had.
  163
  160
  161
  162
  PARA 160 - 163 
  
  54
   - The cabinet swings open, revealing all 
  sorts of jars and bottles. “The owner of 
  this abode must be very ill - or some kind 
  of poor addict,” you say as you pick up a bottle of cod 
  liver oil and a jar of anti-poison tablets.
   
  If you examine yourself in the mirror, go to 
  174; otherwise you may enter the bedroom at 
  63, enter the kitchen at 73, enter the lounge 
  at 83, enter the cellar at 128, enter the loft at 
  138, or exit the house and continue along the path 
  to the third paragraph of 17.
   - “If you bite without eating you’ll stunt 
  and grow small; if you eat without bit-
  ing you’ll glut and grow tall” you read on 
  the hovel’s wall. “Eat what - the dirt through which 
  I’ve been crawling? What nonsense, I shall pay it no 
  heed... at least for now.”
   
  As you linger in the room, you think you notice 
  the walking sticks leaning against the wall begin to 
  twitch. You also pick up the backpack as you suspect 
  it’ll be useful later. If you drink the tea, go to 152; 
  If you take the cabbages, go to 158; if you cast 
  Knock Knock on the chest, go to 180; if you high-
  tail it out of there, go to 30; if this isn’t the first 
  time you’ve noticed the sticks twitch, go to 175.
   - The path you follow curves around to 
  your right until you end up at another 
  crossroad. “De ja vu” you think to your-
  self. “That’s must be Elvish for “already seen.”
   
  If you follow the path to your left, go to 18; if 
  you follow it to your right, go to 8; if you follow it 
  straight ahead, go to 38; if you come back the way 
  you came, go to 28.
   - You follow the riddling sphinx’s rec-
  ommendation and continue trekking up 
  the slope. “Don’t worry Snow Drop, soon 
  we’ll be safe and sound in the palace!” you exclaim, 
  stroking the kitten in your arms and picking the 
  leaves out of its glossy coat.
   
  The diminutive feline purrs at your purring words 
  as you emerge from the brush and stumble across a 
  large hedge maze. Now stumble on to 22.
   - “This patient is most certainly coma-
  tose,” you say as you pluck a Jub-jub 
  feather from her hair. You begin to tickle 
  her under the chin. “Although my solution may seem 
  unorthodox, your majesty, there is a method to my 
  madness.” The princess begins to toss and turn in the 
  coffin before leaping up and you tidy her up. 
   
  “Success!” cries the Queen, “Wheel her away!” 
  The four uruks shove the princess back into the coffin 
  and shuffle off. The King looks rather crestfallen.
   
  “Now may I play, your excellency?” you inquire. 
  The Queen hands you a croquet mallet. “The white 
  rabbit was meant to be joining, but she hasn’t showed 
  up yet. I suppose you can take her place.”
   
  An uruk places a strange, leather ball in front 
  of the Queen, which she smashes with her mallet. 
  “These new Arma-dillo balls travel much better than 
  Hedgehogs,” she says as one of her subjects places 
  one of the same balls in front of you too.
   
  While the Queen notes with fury that her roses 
  are dripping paint, her husband leans over and whis-
  pers in your ear: “Just play the game straight and fair, 
  just the way she likes it. She’ll make you regret it if 
  you don’t, knowing her temper…”
   
  If you protest to the Queen that this isn’t croquet 
  as you know it, go to 101; if you make a show of 
  whacking the Armor-dillo ball, but really only tap it, 
  go to 107; if you whack it with as much force as 
  you can muster, go to 121.
  168
  164
  165
  166
  167
  
  55
   - The path you follow curves 
  around to your left until you 
  end up at another crossroads. 
  “There’s that sculpture of the Queen again… 
  oh dear, I really am walking in circles! Still, 
  at least I can recognise when I’m lost. Fa-
  ther once rode out to another kingdom and 
  refused to acknowledge he’d gone in the 
  wrong direction until he reached the sea.”
   
  If you follow the left path, go to 28; if 
  you follow the right path, go to 38; if you 
  take the path straight ahead, go to 18; if 
  you retrace your steps, go to 8.
   - Suddenly you feel like you are in court and on 
  trial. “Please noble sirs, clemency would befit you 
  at the present juncture,” you say as the uruks don 
  executioner’s hoods. “I think you will find, upon further con-
  sideration, that I am not a base vagabond deserving of a fate 
  such as this but merely a little girl who did the wrong thing. 
  We all make mistakes in life - I once used a steak knife to eat 
  coq au vin, although I was only four years of age at the time. 
  Does not Lerotra’hh argue for mercy in all things? Or is that 
  mercilessness in all things? I do hope it’s mercy, that would 
  suit me rather well...”
   
  The Queen of Uruks is apoplectic with rage. “Mercy? Weak-
  ness will not be tolerated! Guards, be done with the wretch!” 
  What happens next is too gory to recount: please close the 
  book so that I can spare you the details. 
  I’m afraid your adventure ends here.  
   - You walk along the path un-
  til you’ve arrived back at the 
  entrance to the maze.
   
  “Oh dear, I’m not making any progress 
  at all!” you think to yourself. “Perhaps I 
  should just give up!”  
   
  If you follow the corridor to your left, 
  go to 34; if you follow the corridor to 
  your right, go to 24; if you retrace your 
  steps, go to 44; if you exit the maze and 
  continue scaling the hill, go to 134.
   - You galumph around blind-
  ly, knocking into trees and 
  tripping over roots. “Oh, I’ll 
  never make it out of here…” you say, sob-
  bing into the handkerchief you embroi-
  dered last winter. “And I can’t even hear 
  the brook. I’ll probably die of thirst at 
  this rate.” You’re certainly becoming very 
  hungry. Either eat a cabbage or take one 
  die of damage.
   
  A set of teeth grin at you from the bough 
  of a tree. “Lost?” they ask, “or found?” A 
  purple sphinx fades into view. 
  “It’s rude to smile at my misfortune...” 
   
  “No, I’m happy for you!” says the 
  sphinx, clinging to the branch. “I can 
  help!” Go to 102 if Snow Drop is with 
  you, and 112 if she isn’t.
  169
  170
  172
  171
  PARA 169 - 172 
  
  56
   - You see the white rabbit scampering 
  along the path to your left towards the 
  crossroads. You intercept her.
   
  “White rabbit, oh white rabbit! It’s been such a 
  while since we’ve last seen each other - it is so good to 
  catch up! Did you make your date with the Queen?”
   
  The rabbit looks at her pocket watch in alarm. 
  “Egads, it’s almost noon! No, I haven’t yet: those idi-
  otic slithy toves won’t open the gate for me, and now I 
  really am going to be late! See this beautiful noggin of 
  mine? Well, at this rate you can kiss it goodbye!” The 
  rabbit begins shivering uncontrollably.
   
  You admire her watch. “I’ll go talk some sense or 
  try to distract those slithy toves for you if you give 
  me your pocket watch,” you propose, “A trinket like 
  that is hardly worth your life, is it?”
   
  The rabbit looks you in the eye, “It’s worth more 
  than you know, but it’s as much a burden as a prize.”
   
  Take a level one charisma saving roll. If you pass, 
  the white rabbit begrudgingly gives you her pocket 
  watch. “Tap it three times when the time comes,” be-
  fore scurrying away. If you fail the roll, the white rab-
  bit glares at you in disgust and hops off.
   
  “Where to now,” you wonder. If you follow the 
  path to your left, go to 18; if you follow it to your 
  right, go to 166; if you follow the path straight 
  ahead, go to 38; if you come back the way you 
  came, go to 28.
   - You scrutinize your 
  face in the looking glass. 
  “Curiouser and curious-
  er: It looks like me, but somehow 
  it’s NOT me.”
   
  “I could say the same thing, are 
  you me?” your reflection asks. 
   
  “Oh my! Are you my reflection 
  or am I yours? Which of us IS me 
  then?” you ask in shock.        
   
  “It’s rather hard to say; perhaps 
  we are both me or contrary-wise 
  maybe neither of us is Alice and she 
  is someone else,” your reflection 
  answers cryptically.
   
  You place your hand on the mir-
  ror, to make sure it’s really there. 
  Your doppelganger does the same, 
  174
  173
  then she says, “The only thing separating us is this 
  glass plane of existence. Come over to my side and we 
  can play together and I’ll show you my world.”
   
  “I give myself very good advice, but seldom ever 
  follow it... I’m already in a weird world, but it could 
  be fun to see what’s on the other side of the mirror.” 
   
  If you decide you want to go through mirror, go to 
  14. Otherwise take a level one wizardry saving roll. 
  If you pass, return to the second paragraph of 53. 
  If you fail, go to 56.
   - You freeze as one of the sticks bends 
  and warps into a magic serpent. It begins 
  hissing venomously.  
   
  “I knew I should have knocked!” you exclaim as the 
  snake flares up. “And it’s very impolite to enter an-
  other’s home without a gift!” 
  ~~~~~~~~~~ FOE: Magic Serpent ~~~~~~~~~~
  MR 9. Poison: Any spite damage it deals to you is tak-
  en again on each succeeding combat turn.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  If you survive the battle with the arcane serpent you 
  may either continue to explore the hovel at the third 
  paragraph of 20 or hightail it out of there and go 
  to 30. If you’ve been in this room before, you still 
  have to fight a serpent as there are many here. 
  175
  PARA 173 - 175 
  
  57
   - You hand the glutton a cabbage. “When 
  my sister  gained a little weight, she would 
  only eat vegetables until I’d slimmed back 
  down. I think she called it a ‘vegetabletarian’ diet. 
  Why don’t you try it?”
   
  The rotund man holds the cabbage in bewilder-
  ment. “You mean you can eat these things? I thought 
  they were weeds. Well, at this point I’m willing to try 
  it: thank you little girl.” He wolfs it down. “A little 
  rubbery, but not too bad. You know, I used to be a 
  carpenter: why don’t you take my chisel? I don’t think 
  I’m going to be using it for a while.”
   
  You take the implement, climb down the tree 
  trunk, and jump onto the grass below. “That vege-
  table diet should do wonders for his physique. I did 
  forget to mention that he must drink plenty of coco-
  nut oil though while thinking positive thoughts. I’m 
  sure he’ll work it out for himself, it’s simply common 
  sense... or uncommon sense perhaps.”
   
  The path you walk back along soon splits in two: 
  if you turn left, go to 74; if you keep going straight, 
  go to 54.
   - “Ah,” you say, holding up your finger, 
  “now we’re getting somewhere. What 
  you’re saying is that, with your mother’s 
  lover gone, you began to love her yourself, partly for 
  her lustrous green hair, partly for her pretzels: but as 
  her son you had to repress your feelings, had to, if 
  you will, sublimate them, and that’s why you began to 
  take narcotics. Do go on, Mr. Leprechaun.” You settle 
  back on your stump triumphantly.
  The little being stands up and shakes his fist at you.  
   
  “What’re you saying about me, you quack! Take 
  this! and get lost!” The leprechaun casts Curse You, 
  lowering an attribute of your choice by one die until 
  you are cured. You flee back into the thick of the for-
  est and your expanded knowledge fades back to your 
  normal state.
   
  Where to now? If you follow the strains of sing-
  ing, go to 47; if you follow the sounds of a party, 
  go to 67; if you forage, go to 106; if you wander 
  about aimlessly, go to 81.
   - You curtsy. “Your royal majesty, al-
  though I don’t have an ‘invitation’ per se 
  I would so like to join your game of cro-
  quet. Sometimes I beat my sister when we play, even 
  though she’s almost sixteen years of age, so I think 
  you’ll find that I’m rather good - although not as good 
  as yourself, I’m sure, your highness. Oh, where are 
  my manners: I go by the name of ‘Alice’, your lord-
  ship. I also know how to play badminton, squash, and 
  several card games, if you would prefer something 
  different, your excellency. Although, as the Queen, 
  what game we play is ultimately your decision, my 
  liege.” You curtsy several more times, feeling quite 
  out of your depth.
  178
  176
  177
   
  The Queen of Uruks snarls. “I don’t let just any 
  commoner play croquet with me: you must first prove 
  your worth. Men, wheel out my daughter!” Four of 
  her subjects march off and return several minutes 
  later bearing a coffin.
   
  You open the casket and find a pale uruk inside. 
  “She’s dead. There’s nothing I can do to help” you say 
  as you feel her pulse. “Time of death, 11:58 a.m.”
   
  “She’s asleep, you idiot!” snaps the Queen. “A 
  witch enchanted her to slumber until a handsome 
  prince kisses her on the lips. Unfortunately though 
  there’s no handsome princes left: I’ve butchered 
  them all for refusing to marry me. That’s why that 
  simp over there is my current husband.” The King of 
  Uruks sighs resignedly.
   
  “Find a way to wake her and I’ll let you play cro-
  quet. Or I’ll have your head!” If you decide to kiss 
  the princess, go to 159; if you try tickling the 
  princess, go to 168.
  PARA 176 - 178 
  
  58
   - “A map!” you exclaim. “My father’s 
  asked me that one before, so I already 
  know I’m right.” The Katras sphinx looks 
  a little put out. “Well done… I suppose. If you want to 
  see the Queen just go straight, right, then right again.” 
  The feline winks out of existence limb by limb. If you 
  turn left, go to 171; if you keep going straight, go 
  to 54.
   - “I’m rather good at this” you think to 
  yourself as the chest unlatches. “I can see 
  why thieves and rogues break and enter - 
  it’s rather thrilling!” Inside you find a shooing wand. 
  (the Shooing Wand contains an Oh Go Away spell 
  you can learn and use.) As you linger in the room, you 
  think you notice the walking sticks leaning against 
  the wall twitch. You also pick up the backpack as you 
  suspect it may be useful. If you drink the tea, go to 
  152; If you take the cabbages, go to 158; if you 
  decipher the message, go to 165; if you hightail 
  it out of there, go to 30; if this isn’t the first time 
  you’ve noticed the sticks twitch, go to 175.
   
  “Well, no use standing around. Rather dangerous 
  with those sneaky bandersnatches about!” you reflect. 
  You walk away from the dead animal, blessing it one 
  last time. You of course have no idea where you’re go-
  ing and stumble through the desert for many hours, 
  changing direction far more often than you should. 
  “I should have… bought a parasol,” you rasp through 
  chapped lips, “It’s considered rather common for a 
  lady to sport a tan, or at least it used to be...”
   
  Just when you’re losing the will to stumble on, 
  you think you see an oasis shimmering in the dis-
  tance. If you walk towards it, go to 51; if you keep 
  staggering in the same direction, go to 161.
   - You meekly give him the lamp. He 
  laughs. “Foolish little wretch! You’ve just 
  consigned this realm to the rule of Maxi-
  milian the Magnificent!” The sorcerer throws another 
  pinch of powder at the crevice. “Close sesame!” The 
  crack rumbles shut. 
   
  You begin to cry. “I’m sure I didn’t deserve that!” 
  you whimper to yourself. “And all over a dirty old 
  lamp!” If you cast Knock Knock on the crevice, go to 
  187; if you try to clear the blocked tunnel deep in 
  the cave, go to 197; if you’ve exhausted your other 
  options to escape, go to 199.
   - “I shall do my best. But do remember, 
  I’m a lesser djinni” intones the apparition 
  before dispersing throughout the cave. 
   
  Your surroundings swirl and metamorphose, giv-
  ing you a splitting headache. You are transported to 
  a cottage furnished with well-crafted furniture and a 
  select few objets d’art. “What a charming bungalow: 
  I must ask father to purchase it” you tell yourself. “If 
  we flattened that horrid shrine on the lawn and built 
  a pergola - my sister and I could talk tête-à-tête while 
  we eat scones in the shade! But I’m getting ahead of 
  myself, I must find the white rabbit first. The govern-
  ess once remarked that I never finish what I begin, 
  so I’ll take a look around.” If you enter the bedroom, 
  go to 63; if you enter the kitchen, go to 73; if 
  you enter the lounge, go to 83; if you enter the 
  bathroom, go to 118; if you enter the cellar, go to 
  128; if you enter the loft, go to 138; if you exit 
  the house and continue along the path, go to the third 
  paragraph of 17.
  179
  180
  181
   - You place the pocket watch on the rab-
  bit and sprinkle her with sand. “Oh rabbit, 
  sweet rabbit, although I hardly knew you 
  I felt like I knew you so well. You were rather like a 
  sister to me, or at least a second cousin. My second 
  cousin also passed away, so I feel that’s an apt de-
  scription. In any case, I wish you luck in the afterlife. 
  Does it exist? I hope it does, otherwise I’m just ram-
  bling on to myself.” 
   
  A wizard god from near Khosht is impressed with 
  your piety: permanently increase either your luck or 
  wizardry by two.
  183
  182
  PARA 179 - 183 
  
  59
   -“Hey, now you’re talkin’ turkey” says 
  one of the workmen as he pockets the 
  dough. “I ain’t seen nothin’ “ere. Wink 
  wink nudge nudge an’ all that.” The slithy toves 
  pack up their paintbrushes and leave you to your 
  business. Wait for the Queen at 184b.
   - You admire the roses for several 
  minutes until the Queen of Uruks en-
  ters the garden with her retinue, car-
  rying a long-handled mallet in her hand.
   
  “And who is this? Have you been invited to play 
  croquet?” the Queen demands as she catches sight of 
  you. standing among her roses.
   
  If you tell the Queen that you’re the Duchess and 
  hand her the Duchess’ invitation, go to 71; if you tell 
  her you’re filling in for the Duchess and hand her the 
  Duchess’ invitation, go to 91; if you tell her you’re 
  filling in for the white rabbit and hand her the pocket 
  watch as proof, go to 153; if you tell her that you 
  haven’t been invited to play but you’d like to anyway, 
  go to 178; if you tell her that you’re awfully lost and 
  that you just wish to return to the surface, go to 111.
   - Not wishing to antagonise such a pow-
  erful being, you freeze in place like a ga-
  zelle becoming aware of a nearby lion.
   
  “Turn, child. I have a task that needs doing.” You 
  swivel around and see an ebony wizard looming over 
  you. The sorcerer takes a pinch of coloured powder 
  from a pouch and throws in on a nearby cliff-face.  
   
  “Open sesame!” A small crevice appears in a puff 
  of pink smoke. “As you can see, I’m much too large to 
  crawl inside. I want you to enter and retrieve a lamp 
  for me. You’ll also find that the cave’s filled with gold: 
  take as much as you want in payment.”
  If you follow his directions, go to 191; if you say 
  you’re rather busy, go to 196.
   - “Open sesame!” you say, gesturing for 
  the crevice to open once again. Fortu-
  nately, it does. You manage to squirm 
  out and continue trekking through the desert. You’re 
  pleased to find that the vegetation becomes more 
  abundant over the course of the day. By lunchtime 
  the trees are so numerous that their boughs twine 
  into a near-contiguous canopy. You’ve seen no one, 
  but now you see someone approaching go to 201.
   - You yawn increasingly frequently and 
  have trouble keeping your eyes open. (It 
  has been a busy day!) Before you know it 
  you’ve nodded off where you sit.
   
  You wake up in your bed at the Blue Frog Tavern; 
  the sun has risen long ago. “Checkout’s at nine!” the 
  owner shouts as he bangs on the door, “and I ain’t 
  extendin’ it for that sham bit you gave me, you lousy 
  cheapskate!” Hopefully he didn’t call the guards. You 
  don’t feel like you got much sleep.
   
  As you hurriedly cram your backpack, you’re 
  pleased to discover that anything you acquired dur-
  ing your adventure is still with you. You shrug your 
  shoulders: stranger things have happened after all.  
   
  “I’m chargin’ for another day, you rapscallion,” 
  mutters the landlord. You consider escaping out the 
  window, but you’ve had enough adventuring for one 
  night. You smile, knowing that you travelled to an-
  other realm and survived. Gain 300 adventure points 
  for finishing Alice in Weirdworld!
  184
  188
  186
  187
   - You stare at the glutton with derision. 
  “When I gained a little weight, my sister 
  forced me to only eat vegetables until I’d 
  slimmed back down. She called it a ‘vegetabletarian’ 
  diet. Why don’t you try it?” The rotund man glares at 
  you. “Do you think I haven’t thought of that? Get out, 
  out!” He begins to throw oyster shells at you: take one 
  die of damage if you fail a level one dexterity saving 
  roll. Time to leave.
   
  You climb down the tree trunk and jump onto the 
  grass below. “That vegetable diet should do wonders 
  for his physique if he takes my advice. I did forget 
  to mention that he must drink plenty of coconut oil 
  though and rub himself with chia seeds while think-
  ing positive thoughts. I’m sure he’ll work it out for 
  himself, it’s simply common sense. Or at least un-
  common sense, I suppose.”
   
  The path you walk back along soon splits in two: 
  if you turn left, go to 74; if you keep going straight, 
  go to 54.
  184b
  185
  PARA 184 - 188 
  
  60
   - You place the item on the rabbit and 
  sprinkle her with sand. “Oh rabbit, sweet 
  rabbit, although I hardly knew you I felt 
  like I knew you so well. You were rather like a sister 
  to me, or at least a second cousin. My second cousin 
  also passed away, so I feel that’s an apt description. 
  In any case, I wish you luck in the afterlife. Does it 
  exist? No-one can really say, can they. I hope it does, 
  otherwise I’m just rambling on to myself.” If the item 
  you placed on the beast is worth one gold or more, a 
  wizard god from near Khosht is impressed with your 
  piety: permanently increase either your luck or wiz-
  ardry by one.
   
  You hear a howl in the distance. “Well, best be 
  going. Rather dangerous with those sneaky banders-
  natches about,” you reflect. You walk away from the 
  deceased rabbit, blessing it one last time. 
   
  Of course have no idea where you’re going and 
  stumble through the desert for many hours, changing 
  direction far more often than you should. “I should 
  have… bought a parasol,” you rasp through chapped 
  lips, “It’s considered rather common… for a lady to 
  sport a tan.” Just when you’re losing the will to stum-
  ble on, you think you see an oasis shimmering in the 
  distance. If you walk towards it, go to 51; if you 
  keep staggering in the same direction, go to 161.
   - You hand the glutton a piece of en-
  chanted food. “When I gained a little 
  weight, my sister forced me to only eat 
  vegetables until I’d slimmed back down. She called it 
  a ‘vegetabletarian’ diet; it was a rather testing experi-
  ence. Why don’t you eat this instead?” 
   
  The rotund man wolfs down the food and shrinks 
  down to the size of a pea. “By Gristlegrim’s beard, I 
  shouldn’t have eaten it so fast! Looks like carpenting 
  is off the table now, unless I want to make tables for 
  ants. You may as well have my chisel, little girl - er, 
  young lady. As for me, I may as well stay put. This hut 
  is practically a palace now.”
   
  You take the implement, climb down the tree 
  trunk, and jump onto the grass below. The path you 
  walk back along soon splits in two: if you turn left, go 
  to 74; if you keep going straight, go to 54.
   - “It’s awfully dusty in here,” you moan 
  as you cover your mouth with a handker-
  chief, “I sincerely regret not staying put by 
  the river, even if it was rather dull! This is all certainly 
  rather an adventure, but you can have too much of 
  a good thing. That’s what the governess says when I 
  eat a second slice of pixie bread for my tea and begin 
  to feel queasy. As Pluto... or Plato once opined, one 
  must always listen to one’s elders, even if the sense 
  they talk seems rather senseless.” You crawl around 
  the cavern, which is indeed strewn with treasure 
  (gain 100 gold pieces).
   
  You quickly find the lamp and return to the 
  fissure’s opening, but you can’t manage to wriggle 
  through.
   
  “Hand me the lamp!” shouts the wizard. “Then 
  I’ll pull you out.” If you do as he says, go to 182; 
  if you ask to be pulled out before giving him the 
  lamp, go to 200.
  189
  190
  191
  PARA 189 - 191 
  
  61
   - “Oh, yur royal highness! 
  We’re righ’ sorry for grillin’ ya, 
  but we ain’t work enough wiv 
  royalty to recognise ‘em on sight.”
   
  “C’mon lads, give the Duchess ‘er 
  space!” The slithy toves pack up their 
  gnollhair paintbrushes and leave you to 
  your business.  Wait for the arrival of the 
  Queen  at 184b.
   - “It shall be so,” intones the 
  apparition before dispersing 
  throughout the cave. Take a 
  wizardry saving roll on your level and mul-
  tiply the result by ten: you gain the result 
  as APs and may spend them immediately. 
  Unfortunately you now appear to be impris-
  oned in the cavern. If you cast Knock Knock 
  on the crevice, go to 187; if you try to 
  clear the blocked tunnel deep in the cave, 
  go to 197; if you’ve exhausted your other 
  options to escape, go to 199.
   - “You better let me stay if you know 
  what’s good for you,” you growl, point-
  ing your weapon at them menacingly. 
  “I eat fellows like you for breakfast, so back away.” 
  Unfortunately, the three slithy toves are too dim to be 
  intimidated. They place their gnollhair brushes down 
  and attack you like the brutes they are.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~ FOE: Slithy Toves ~~~~~~~~~~
  MR 12, 3 hits. Find a buckler and three hatchets if you 
  defeat the slithy toves. Hatchet: 3d, STR 5, DEX 5.~~
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   
  If you survive the fight go to 184b. If you 
  don’t survive, your visit to Weirdworld is over. 
   -“It sounds like you’re in a dire plight, Mr. 
  Dumpty. Don’t worry, I’ll take the blame 
  for you if it helps keep you your job.”
   
  The hobb is voluminous in his thanks. After sev-
  eral minutes an uruk riding a warg appears from 
  the forest, slashing through the vines with his sabre. 
  “Just stay calm,” says Mr. Dumpty as the creature 
  dismounts and marches towards you both.
   
  “This was meant to be finished yesterday: who’s 
  responsible for this?” asks the uruk testily.
   
  The hobb jabs his finger at you. “It was her!” You 
  shoot Mr. Dumpty a dark look.
   
  “Me? I was just trying to help you!”
   
  The uruk rider unsheathes his blade. “The Queen 
  will demand a head for this failure. It may as well be 
  yours.” He advances on you, raising his sword men-
  acingly. Make a first level saving roll on SPD (or DEX) 
  to see if you can run into the forest and hide before he 
  catches you. If you fail, you must fight him. If you lose 
  the fight go to 199.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~ FOE: Uruk Rider ~~~~~~~~~~~
  MR 13. If the rider scores any Spite Damage on you, 
  he takes advantage of your dismay and flees the battle 
  if he has suffered any damage so far. Gives a potion of 
  the protagonist if he is killed.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   
  If you win or escape, you flee from the scene of 
  the battle. Soon all that’s left of the desert is a yellow 
  path wending through the forest. You follow it down 
  a valley and up the other side, passing a house with a 
  white picket fence. Deciding you need a safe place to 
  rest, you head for the cottage. Go to 53.
  192
  193
  194
  195
  PARA 192 - 195 
  
  62
   - “I’m sorry Mr. Wizard, but I’m oth-
  erwise engaged at the present moment. 
  You see, I’m trying to find the Queen of 
  Uruks. Have you seen her?” The wizard points at your 
  face and moves his finger through the air. You feel 
  a deep cut magically form across your countenance: 
  take one die of damage and permanently lower your 
  charisma by one.
   
  “Do not cross me again, child. You’re lucky I need 
  your services.” He roughly shoves you into the fissure.
   
  “I’ll never be allowed in polite society ever 
  again!” you snivel, gingerly feeling your bloody scar. 
  You crawl around the cavern, which is indeed strewn 
  with treasure (gain 100 gold pieces). You quickly 
  find the lamp and return to the fissure’s opening, 
  but you can’t manage to wriggle through.
   
  “Hand me the lamp” shouts the wizard, “then I’ll 
  pull you out!” If you do as he says, go to 182; if 
  you ask to be pulled out before giving him the lamp, 
  go to 200.
   - Several large rocks obstruct your 
  way, but they could be shifted with a 
  bit of effort. “Ugh, physical labor. It’s 
  most fortunate nobody’s here to witness what I’ve 
  stooped to,” you mutter to yourself. Take a level 
  one strength saving roll. If you pass, go to 117. 
  If you fail, you may cast Knock Knock on the crevice 
  at 187 if you have the kremm. If you can’t do that 
  either, go to 199.
   - You sprinkle the rabbit with sand. “Oh 
  rabbit, sweet rabbit, although I hardly 
  knew you I felt like I knew you so well. 
  You were rather like a sister to me, or at least a sec-
  ond cousin.”
   
  “My second cousin also passed away, so I feel that’s 
  an apt description. In any case, I wish you luck in the 
  afterlife. Does it exist? No-one can really say, can they. I 
  hope it does, otherwise I’m just rambling on to myself.”  
   
  A wizard god from near Khosht is angered that 
  you have buried the rabbit without any gift: he af-
  flicts you with the Dum Dum spell, reducing your 
  IQ to 3 for the rest of the adventure. (Your IQ can 
  be increased by any other potions or spells that you 
  might find along the way.) 
   
  “Should go,” you say. “Heat. Hot. Find shade. 
  Find Queen. Long talk. Good talk.” You march off in a 
  random direction.
   
  You of course have no idea where you’re going and 
  stumble through the desert for many hours, changing 
  course far more often than you should. “ I hurt,” you 
  rasp through chapped lips, “skin hurt. Sun. Sun hot. 
  Sun burn. Bad, bad sun.” You glare menacingly at the 
  sun, damaging your eyes. Permanently lower your 
  dexterity by one.
   
  Just when you’re losing the will to stumble on, 
  you think you see an oasis shimmering in the dis-
  tance. If you walk towards it, go to 51; if you keep 
  staggering in the same direction, go to 161.
   - You are trapped and then you are dead. 
  Close this book and hang your head in 
  shame. You do not wake up...
   - “Impertinent child! No-one makes 
  demands of Maximilian the Magnifi-
  cent!” The sorcerer throws another 
  pinch of powder at the crevice. “Close sesame!” The 
  crack rumbles shut.
   
  You begin to cry. “I’m sure I didn’t deserve that!” 
  you whimper to yourself. “And all over a dirty old 
  lamp!” You start to wipe it clean. 
   
  Kaleidoscopic mist billows and whirls out of the 
  lamp’s aperture, condensing into a lesser djinni. “My 
  thanks for freeing me, human. It is my obligation to 
  grant you one wish. what shall it be?”
   
  You drop the lamp in shock. If you wish to be 
  transported to the palace, go to 183; if you wish 
  for raw power, go to 193. If you wish to leave 
  Weirdworld and go home, go to Introduction A or 
  B on page 3. Perhaps you can try to visit again.
  196
  197
  198
  199
  200
  PARA 196 - 200 
  
  63
   - After some time you meet a swarthy, 
  bald hobb walking through the forest, 
  pushing a large wheelbarrow through 
  the verdant ramblage. You peer inside the small cart 
  and see that it’s filled with large stones.
   
  “Good afternoon Mr. Hobb: what are you up to?” 
  you say, taking one of the rocks from his wheelbarrow 
  and examining it with curiosity.
   
  “Don’t touch that unless you plan to help! I’m Mr. 
  Dumpty, chief engineer of the Queen of Uruks, and 
  I’ve got to finish this wall by nightfall or she’ll have 
  my head!”
   
  “What wall, I don’t see one,” you say, looking 
  around in confusion.
   
  “Exactly! So lend me a hand, for Dargon’s sake!” 
  If you help out, go to 146; if you leave him to his 
  fate, go to 136.
   - “I must say young lady that I am im-
  pressed by your quick actions and de-
  termination,” says the Queen.
    
  You curtsy once again and thank her for the com-
  pliment as your croquet mallet transforms into a fla-
  mingo. “Oh my, things do change so quickly here!” 
  You exclaim. Delete the croquet mallet from your list.
   
  “Things always change my dear, you need to get 
  used to that,” the Queen adds with a knowing smile. 
   
  The flamingo runs off, and you ask what else is 
  on the agenda today, and suggest a game of bridge. 
  “That’s a game I play with my sister,” you explain. “I 
  play chess with my father and bridge with my sister. 
  My father’s a commander, but my sister prefers the 
  social games, you see.”
   
  The Queen begins massaging your delicate shoul-
  ders. “An amusing pastime, to be sure, but no; no, 
  I have other plans for you! The chess and croquet 
  were but a test: a test to find my next champion. The 
  winner - who I thought would’ve been the white rab-
  bit, but no matter - shall attempt to rid the realm of 
  the Jabberwock, once and for all! And that winner my 
  dear is YOU.”
   
  You hear a piercing screech from above, and jolt 
  you head upwards. You spot the fulsome beast sun-
  dering the sky like black lightning, mawaullering and 
  cribicaullering like the wroppflim brout it is.
   
  “It’s the Jabberwock!” you cry, pointing your 
  weapon at the winged demon. Your nemesis, per-
  haps from intuition, perhaps from experience, 
  perhaps even understanding English, recognizes you 
  as this year’s foe. It lands in front of you, burbling as 
  it comes. The time for combat has arrived!
  ~~~~~~~~~~~ FOE: Jabberwock ~~~~~~~~~~
  MR 25, 3 hits. Immune to magic. If the Jabberwock 
  scores Spite Damage, make a L1SR-DEX; if you fail 
  its poison claws do 3 additional points directly to 
  your CON, and the beast destroys an equipped item 
  of your choice. 
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   
  When you first engage the Jabberwock make a 
  L1SR on DEX. If you miss, you are scratched by its 
  poison claws and take 3 hits directly to your CON 
  (unless you have the anti-poison pills.) Before you 
  fight, if you have the pocket watch go to 203.  
   
  If you do not have it, go to 202b.
  201
  202
  PARA 201 - 202 
  
  64
  “Beware the Jabberwock, my dear!  The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!” Says the Queen.
  
  65
   - Continue your combat with the 
  Jabberwock. If you lose, you die 
  here and in the world you came 
  from. If you survive the fight, the hideous creature 
  drops dead at your feet and the Queen of Uruks curt-
  sies to you! You have done it!
   
  “The realm is saved, and the damsel in distress 
  rescued - that’s me - thank you child. As a boon, take 
  any one artefact from my treasury before you depart, 
  for yes, I recognise you as a stranger to my realm.”
   
  You allow yourself to be escorted to the palace, 
  and root and rifle through the cavernous room. The 
  prime choices you find are:
   
  - a Club of flying foes;
   
  - a Lump of Sonan Ie jade;
   
  - a Spade of digging; or
   
  - a High Society dress.
  Once you’ve taken your reward you’re overwhelmed 
  with fatigue from your adventures. Go to 56 if 
  you’re playing with Alice, and 188 if you’re play-
  ing as someone else.
   - You look at the stop watch and see 
  that the button on the top is flashing. 
  Make a level 1 IQ roll to see if you re-
  member the rabbit telling you to press it three times. 
  If you fail the roll or do not have the stop watch, go 
  back to 202b and fight with what weapons you 
  have. If you succeed the roll, you press the stopwatch 
  button three times and the watch turns into the Vor-
  pal Blade. Now is the time to wield it and go snick-
  er-snack!  This mithral sword is worth 5 dice+5 hit 
  points in combat. it will return back to being a stop 
  watch if you defeat the Jabberwock, or you are killed 
  by the creature.  Now go back to 202b and con-
  tinue your battle.  
   - You are now past the trolls and walk 
  along, emerging on a yellow brick road. 
  “Yellow bricks? Whatever could they be 
  hewn from: Banana stone?’ you think, following the 
  path with curiosity. It leads towards a house with a 
  wooden fence. “A white picket fence - that reminds 
  me of home!” you exclaim, running your hand along 
  the painted paling. If you knock on the door of the 
  house, or just enter go to 53; if you continue along 
  the path go to the third paragraph of 17.
  204
  Item Appendix:
  203
  202b
  These are things you can find and use in Weirdworld.
  Anti-Poison Tablets: Makes the player immune to 
  allergies or poison. Worth 20 gold coins.
  Backpack of Many Items: This small backpack 
  has the ability to hold all your items and only weights 
  2lbs, due to its magical properties. 
  Buckler: 3 hits. Requires 3 strength and 8 dexterity 
  to use. Worth 15 gold coins.
  Bugle: Gives the owner a +3 talent for music. 
  Worth 20 gold coins.
  Cabbage: Worth one copper coin each cabbage.
  Candle: Provides a small amount of light for five 
  turns. Worth one silver coin.
  Carrot Biscuit: A carrot biscuit. Casts a 10th level 
  Smaller is Smarter spell if eaten, as if you had rolled 
  a one. No cash value.  
  Chisel: Worth one gold coin.
  Cloth: 1 hit. Requires 1 strength to use. 
  Worth one gold coin.
  APPENDIX 
  PARA 202b - 204 
  
  66
  Club of Flying Foes: 4d+0. If the wielder of this 
  two-handed weapon wins a round of combat she 
  sends a foe flying, dealing an extra four dice of dam-
  age. Requires 5 strength and 11 dexterity to use. 
  Worth 1000 gold coins.
  Cod Liver Oil: Each millilitre of oil you consume re-
  stores one lost constitution and wizardry. The bottle 
  contains 10 millilitres of oil. Worth 5 gold coins per 
  millilitre.
  Copper Egg: Worth 10 gold coins.
  Croquet Mallet: 4d-4. Your minimum total com-
  bat roll with this weapon is equal to your strength. 
  Requires 5 strength and 11 dexterity to use. 
  Worth 300 gold coins.
  Cupcake: Casts a 10th level Smaller is Smarter spell 
  if eaten, as if you had rolled a one. No cash value.
  Darksmoke Pearl: Worth 30 gold coins.
  Duchess’ Invitation: An unopened envelope ad-
  dressed to the duchess, the contents of which ap-
  parently invite the duchess to play croquet with the 
  queen. The envelope is scented with rose perfume. 
  No cash value.
  Gold-Laced Dress: Increases your charisma by 
  two. Precludes wearing any form of body armor for 
  aesthetic reasons. Worth 200 gold coins.
  Half a Mushroom: If it grew next to moss which 
  said “bite me” it will cast a 10th level Smaller is 
  Smarter spell if eaten, as if you had rolled a one. If 
  it grew next to moss which said “eat me” it will cast a 
  10th level Bigger is Better spell if eaten, as if you had 
  rolled a one. No cash value.
  Hatchet: 3d+0. Requires 5 strength and 5 dexterity 
  to use. Worth 33 gold coins.
  Hellblade: X+Y, where X is your level and Y is your 
  current wizardry. Requires 5 strength and 11 dexter-
  ity to use. Worth 300 gold coins.
  High Society Dress: Gain a +7 talent for persua-
  sion while wearing this dress. Precludes wearing any 
  form of body armor for aesthetic reasons. Worth 
  1000 gold coins.
  Incorporeal Mantle: Allows the wearer to blink 
  out of existence once per day for up to five seconds. 
  Worth 300 gold coins.
  Jar of Marmalade: If eaten just before taking a 
  check involving your voice you may double your roll. 
  There’s only a little jam stuck under the lip of the jar, 
  so you’ll only be able to use it once. Worth 10 gold.
  Kremmatic Tea: If drunk, restores 3 points of  WIZ. 
  Mad Hat: Increases all your attributes by 2 while 
  worn, but you must pick your paragraphs at ran-
  dom. Worth 300 gold coins.
  Peach Stone: Casts a 10th level Bigger is Better spell 
  if sucked on, as if you had rolled a one. Can be sucked 
  on once before losing its potency. No cash value.
  Piece of Carrot: Casts a 10th level Bigger is Better 
  spell if eaten. No cash value.
  APPENDIX 
  
  67
  Pocket Watch: An ornate contraption made of solid 
  mithril. If you know how to use it, this vorpal watch 
  might just save your life. It can only be used once in 
  this adventure but you must use it at the perfect time. 
  Worth 300 gold pieces.
  Pocket Knife: 2d+0. Requires 1 strength and 2 dex-
  terity to use. Worth 10 gold coins.
  Poppy Circlet: Increases your Charisma by one 
  when worn. Can also be smoked, which restores any 
  lost wizardry (this destroys the circlet). 
  Worth 100 gold coins.
  Potion of Peppiness: Restores all of your attri-
  butes to their maximum level except Constitution 
  and Wizardry. Worth 100 gold coins. One use.
  Potion of the Protagonist: Reroll your combat 
  roll this round. Worth 100 gold coins. One use.
  Sceptre of Healing: 2d+0. Allows the wielder 
  to cast the spell Poor Baby, even if they don’t have 
  the required dexterity and intelligence. Requires 5 
  Strength and 10 Dexterity to use. Worth 300 gold. 
  Shooing Wand: Allows the wielder to cast Oh Go 
  Away spell three times for free. Worth 100 gold.
  Snow Drop: (a cat) Gives you an additional die in 
  combat. Worth 15 gold. 
  Sonan Ie Jade: An exotic green stone.  Worth 1,500 
  gold coins.
  Soul Armor: 10 hits. Lowers the wearer’s constitu-
  tion by five. Worth 300 gold coins.
  Spade of Digging: This spade is capable of cutting 
  through any material. Worth 1000 gold coins.
  Spoonful of Sugar: Fully restores your Constitu-
  tion and Wizardry when eaten. Too delicate to be 
  held in your backpack: must be carried in one of your 
  hands instead. Worth 30 gold coins.
  Toy Slingshot: Comes with 10 magic pebbles. If you 
  score a hit (which requires a second level Dexterity 
  saving roll) it deals 10 points of damage directly to 
  your foe. Two-handed. Requires 5 Strength and 11 
  Dexterity to use.  Worth 300 gold coins.
  Vampiric Blood: pore the vial onto your open hand 
  give it this effect: Restores Constitution equal to your 
  level. You may only use this item once. Worth 100 
  gold coins.
  Veldtian Ruby: A semi-precious stone. Worth 400 
  gold coins.
  Vorpal Blade: Use this weapon to snicker-snack 
  against the Jabberwock. 5 dice+5 hit points in com-
  bat. Turns back into the stopwatch if the holder of the 
  sword or the Jabberwock is defeated. 
  Waspish Wig: A fine wig made of durable wasp fur. 
  Provides one hit. Worth 2 gold coins.
  Wax: A handful of wax. No cash value.
  Zombie Rabbit: It feeds… it grows! Increase your 
  Strength by one every time you win a combat on the 
  first round, while the zombie rabbit is present.
  APPENDIX 
  THE END!
  
  68
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SOURCE: textdata/thevault/Tunnels & Trolls (osr)/Adventures & Settings/Deluxe T&T Adventures/Deluxe T&T Alice in Weirdworld [Revised].pdf