TEXT: M
  09
  Dungeonous 
  ctopus
  10 All-New
  Absurd
  Monsters 2
  Octopus
  Apocalypse
  10 More Unconventional Creatures for The Pathfinder Roleplaying Game
  
  OCAP-DGO-M09: 10 All-New Absurd Monsters 2 ©2017–2018 Octopus Apocalypse. All rights reserved.
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  10 All-New Absurd Monsters 2
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  Written, Edited, & Illustrated by Z “The Mad Bard” Gosck
  “Ferocious Palm” photo by Nilis Rinaldi and licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/
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  Another unconventional product from
  
  2
  10 All-New Absurd Monsters 2
  Ferocious Palm
  A lone palm sways gently in the breeze, somehow it seems oddly sinister.
  FEROCIOUS PALM 
  CR 5
  XP 1,600
  NE Large plant
  Init:  +6   |   Senses:  tremorsense 60 ft.   |   Perception:  +7
  Defense
  AC:  20   |   touch:  12   |   flat-footed:  17
  Modifiers:  +2 Dex,  +1 dodge,  +8 natural,  −1 size
  hp:  44  (8d8+6)
  Fort:  +9   |   Ref:  +5   |   Will:  +2
  Defensive Abilities:  root   |   DR:  5/magic or axes
   
  Immune:  plant traits
  Offense
  Speed:  50 ft.
  Melee:  slam +11  (1d8+7/18–20)
  Ranged:  coconut bomb +8  (3d6+1 fire)
  Space:  10 ft.   |   Reach:  15 ft.
  Special Attacks:  entangling roots,  sweep
  Statistics
  Str: 21 | Dex: 15 | Con: 12 | Int: 2 | Wis: 10 | Cha: 1
  Base Atk:  +6   |   CMB:  +12   |   CMD:  25  (cannot be tripped)
  Feats:  Dodge,  Great Fortitude,  Improved Initiative,  Weapon 
  Focus (slam)
  Skills:  Perception +7,  Stealth +5
  Ecology
  Environment:  any tropical
  Organization:  solitary
  Frequency:  very rare
  Treasure:  none
  Special Abilities
  Coconut Bombs (Ex):  A ferocious palm can hurl exploding 
  coconuts at its enemies, showering them in searing coconut 
  water. Coconut bombs are a splash weapon with a range of 
  30 feat and deal 3d6+1 damage on a direct hit plus 4 splash 
  damage to adjacent creatures (DC 15 Reflex save negates splash 
  damage). A ferocious palm grows coconut bombs at a rate on 1/
  day, and can hold up to 8 at a time. Coconuts removed from the 
  palm—but not thrown—will automatically detonate in 1d10 
  rounds. Save DC is Constitution-based.
  Root (Ex):  As a move action, a ferocious palm can dig its roots 
  into the ground. This grants the palm a +10 bonus to CMD 
  versus forced movement and the ability to take 20 on Stealth 
  checks made to hide in plain sight as a tree—this does not 
  function against creatures that have witnessed the ferocious 
  palm rooting itself.
  Sweep (Ex):  As a full-round action, a ferocious palm can sweep 
  its body in a 15-foot 180-degree arc. All creatures in the area 
  must make a DC 19 Reflex save or take 1d8 damage, be pushed 
  5 feet, and be knocked prone. Save DC is Strength-based. 
  Standing over 30 feet in height with a thin yet sturdy trunk and long green 
  leaves, the ferocious palm is a tropical cousin to the ferocious pine. However, 
  unlike the furious assaults of its arctic counterpart, the ferocious palm is a 
  much more calculating combatant.
   
  Similar to the ferocious pine, the ferocious palm is an mobile predatory 
  tree which subdues its prey with vicious strikes and then buries the corpse 
  to slowly feed off the nutrients from the decaying remains. However, the 
  ferocious palm prefers much more subtle tactics in combat. The ferocious 
  palm tries to keep its distance from its foes, using its long reach and 
  exploding coconuts to attack from afar. When opponents are insistent on 
  placing themselves near the palm, it will attempt to knock them away with 
  a sweeping attack and retreat to a safe distance to continue its attack. If the 
  tides of battle turn against the ferocious palm, it will often retreat and attempt 
  to hide itself in a grove on non-ferocious palms.
   
  When dealing with a ferocious palm—which is inadvisable, as fighting 
  a tree is rarely a rewarding experience—the best tactic it to beat it at its own 
  game by attacking from outside its own attack range. If this is not possible, 
  one should attempt to corner it against a wall to counter its hit-and-run 
  tactics. Additionally, the ferocious palm is a very poor swimmer and will 
  become mostly helpless if lured—or forced—into a body of water.
  
  3
  10 All-New Absurd Monsters 2
  Froglob
  This twisted mass of frog flesh waddles awkwardly on six legs, elemental 
  slime oozing from its horrid mouths.
  FROGLOB 
  CR 4
  XP 1,200
  N Huge magical beast
  Init:  −1   |   Senses:  darkvision 60 ft.,  low-light vision
   
  Perception:  +10  
  Defense
  AC:  15   |   touch:  7   |   flat-footed:  15
  Modifiers:  −1 Dex,  +8 natural,  −2 size
  hp:  57  (6d10+24)
  Fort:  +8   |   Ref:  +4   |   Will:  +2
  Resist:  cold 5,  electricity 5,  fire 5
  Offense
  Speed:  40 ft.   |   swim:  20 ft.
  Melee:  3 bites +6  (1d6+2 plus 2 elemental)
  Ranged:  3 elemental globs +4  (2d6 elemental)
  Space:  15 ft.   |   Reach:  10 ft.
  Statistics
  Str: 15 | Dex: 8 | Con: 16 | Int: 1 | Wis: 10 | Cha: 8
  Base Atk:  +6   |   CMB:  +10   |   CMD:  19  (27 versus trip)
  Feats:  Skill Focus (perception),  Toughness,  Weapon Focus 
  (elemental glob)
  Skills:  Acrobatics +8  (+12 to jump),  Perception +10,  Swim +15
   
  Racial Modifiers:  Acrobatics +4  (+8 to jump),  Perception +2,  
  Swim +8
  SQ:  leaper
  Ecology
  Environment:  any wetlands
  Organization:  solitary
  Frequency:  rare
  Treasure:  none
  Special Abilities
  Elemental Attacks (Su):  Each of a froglob’s heads deals fire, 
  cold, and electricity damage respectively.
  Elemental Globs (Su):  Froglobs spit up globs of elemental 
  energy. These globs are a touch attack with a range of 30 ft. 
  Creatures hit with a glob take 2d6 damage of the elemental 
  type of the head making the attack.
  Leaper (Ex):  Froglobs are always treated as if having a running 
  start when making Acrobatics checks to jump.
  The froglob is a remarkably bizarre, and wholly unpleasant creature 
  resembling three giant frogs who melted together on a hot day. A froglob has 
  a total of three heads—at least one more than any decent creature—and six 
  legs—albeit arranged in a manner significantly less elegant than the average 
  insect. While there is general consensus that it is not a naturally-occurring 
  creature, there is no such agreement as to how—or why—such a thing would 
  be created. Some scholars believe the froglob to be a horrid amalgamation of 
  a fire-breathing, ice-breathing, and lightning-breathing toad; however, this 
  theory has several faults. Firstly, the froglob does not so much breath fire, ice, 
  and lightning as much at it spits them up. Second, the froglob is a frog, not a 
  toad. And finally, the existence of the fire, ice, and lightning-breathing toads 
  have still yet to be confirmed.
   
  As previously eluded to, a froglob’s most distinctive feature—other than 
  its unnecessary profusion of body parts—is the elementally-charged mucus 
  that it produces. Each head produces a different type of elemental mucus—
  ice, fire, and electricity respectively from left to right. Most disturbing 
  however, it its ability to hurl globs of this mucus at attackers or prey. Aside 
  from its dangerous elemental properties, the mucus is sticky, has a powerfully 
  unpleasant odor, and should be avoided whenever possible. However, some 
  less discerning and less skilled arcane practitioners—alchemists—have been 
  known to actively pursue these beasts and harvest their mucus for refinement 
  into their various alchemical fluids.
   
  Froglobs are vicious predators known for eating anything smaller than 
  themselves. However, due to their complex system of esophagi froglobs 
  usually must dismember their prey before consuming—an act which is as 
  unappealing to watch as one might expect. Despite having a shared stomach, 
  each of the froglob’s heads seems to have it’s own sense of hunger, and will 
  become voracious if not fed, even if the other heads have filled their collective 
  stomach. It’s generally believed that this is because the froglob is a profoundly 
  stupid creature.
   
  If one cannot avoid a froglob, it is advisable to keep as much distance 
  as possible between oneself and the creature. While it may seem like a good 
  idea to flee to an area where one has more room to do so, this is a mistake, as 
  the froglob is actually more dangerous here than in its swampy habitat. The 
  best option is to take cover in an area of dense foliage or other thick cover, 
  as this makes it difficult for the froglob to effectively use its elemental globs 
  and natural leaping ability. Another common mistake is to assume that the 
  froglob possesses a complex system of weaknesses based on attacking each 
  head with different element—a textbook example of adventurous over-think-
  ing. In reality no such weakness exists, and the froglob’s only real weakness 
  is its slow speed and lack of coordination, which makes it somewhat easy to 
  avoid and attack. It does however pack a serious punch when its attacks are 
  successful, and is capable of taking a significant amount of damage before 
  succumbing to its wounds.
  
  4
  10 All-New Absurd Monsters 2
  Hummingbird, VamPire, giant
  This fluttering horror darts through the air with startling speed.
  GIANT VAMPIRE HUMMINGBIRD 
  CR 5
  XP 1,600
  NE Medium undead
  Init:  +8   |   Senses:  darkvision 60 ft.   |   Perception:  +12
  Defense
  AC:  21   |   touch:  18   |   flat-footed:  13
  Modifiers:  +8 Dex,  +3 natural
  hp:  32  (5d8+10)   |   fast haling:  2
  Fort:  +3   |   Ref:  +9   |   Will:  +6
  Defensive Abilities:  channel resistance +2   |   DR:  5/magic
   
  Immune:  undead traits   |   Resist:  cold 5,  electricity 5
  Weaknesses:  lesser vampire weaknesses
  Offense
  Speed:  20 ft.   |   fly:  60 ft. (good)
  Melee:  gore +11  (1d6+2 plus impale),  2 talons +11  (1d4+2)
  Space:  5 ft.   |   Reach:  5 ft.
  Special Attacks:  blood drain,  impale
  Statistics
  Str: 11 | Dex: 26 | Con: — | Int: 2 | Wis: 14 | Cha: 15
  Base Atk:  +3   |   CMB:  +11   |   CMD:  20
  Feats:  Agile Maneuvers,  HoverB,  Skill Focus (Perception),  
  Weapon finesse
  Skills:  Fly +12,  Perception +12,  Stealth +12
  SQ:  furious wings
  Ecology
  Environment:  cold forests
  Organization:  solitary or pair
  Frequency:  very rare
  Treasure:  none
  Special Abilities
  Blood Drain (Su):  Whenever a giant vampire hummingbird 
  initiates or maintains an impaled grapple, it deals 1 Constitution 
  damage to the target and heals 5 hit points. Healing above 
  maximum from this ability is kept as temporary hit points for 
  up to 1 hour, and up to a maximum number of temporary hit 
  points equal to the hummingbird’s maximum hit points.
  Furious Wings (Ex):  A giant vampire hummingbird’s wind beat 
  at an astounding speed, because of this it is treated as a large 
  creature for the purposes of the Hover feat, with the radius 
  reduced to 20 feet. Additionally, the DC for all concentration 
  checks within a 20 feet of a flying giant vampire hummingbird 
  is increased by +4.
  Impale (Ex):  When a giant vampire hummingbird succeeds on a 
  gore attack against a living creature, it may make a free grapple 
  attempt to bury its barbed beak deep in the target’s flesh. If the 
  attack is made as part of a charge, the charge bonus applies 
  to the grapple check in addition to the attack. This functions 
  as a normal grapple, except that the hummingbird cannot pin 
  the target and the target cannot break the grapple with an 
  Escape Artist check. Additionally, the target has the option 
  of attempting to pull the beak out, this is a standard action 
  requiring an opposed Strength check and deals 1d6 damage to 
  the grappled creature.
  Lesser Vampire Weaknesses (Su):  Giant vampire humming-
  birds are not repulsed by mirrors or holy symbols and may enter 
  private dwellings without being invited. They are otherwise 
  affected by vampire weaknesses as normal.
  Giant vampire hummingbirds are—as one might expect—hummingbirds 
  that are giant, as well as vampires. Contrary to popular belief, they are not 
  giant hummingbirds that somehow become vampires, but rather vampire 
  hummingbirds that somehow become giants. And while that distinction 
  may seem of little importance, it is essential for differentiating between giant 
  vampire hummingbirds and vampire giant hummingbirds—a distinction 
  that could save one’s life in the right circumstances.
   
  Morphologically, giant vampire hummingbirds are nearly identical to 
  their smaller cousins, with the glaring exception of being almost four feet in 
  length—around 20× that of a normal hummingbird—and possessing distinc-
  tive barbs at the end of their needle-like beak. The creature’s body is covered 
  with jet-black feathers, with the exception of its throat and belly—which 
  are red and white respectively. In addition to their long barbed beak, giant 
  vampire hummingbirds also posses an impressive set of talons which—while 
  not as strong as those of more traditional birds of prey—can deliver some 
  fairly nasty wounds.
   
  Giant vampire hummingbirds generally build their nests inside caves, 
  where they are protected from the sun, although they have been known to 
  roost in hollow trees and abandoned structures. Whatever the specifics of 
  their nesting place, it is usually in remote wooded areas with an ample supply 
  of herd animals for the hummingbird to feast on. While still technically 
  true vampires, giant vampire hummingbirds do lack some of the strengths 
  and weaknesses associated with humanoid vampires. Most notably, they are 
  immune to the effects of a presented mirror or holy symbol—as they don’t 
  understand what such things are—and may enter personal dwelling without 
  being invited—as they possess neither the concept of property ownership nor 
  that of invitations.
  
  5
  10 All-New Absurd Monsters 2
  imPossible Hexagon
  A perfect hexagon hangs in midair, it seems impossible that it’s 
  anything other than a trick of the mind.
  IMPOSSIBLE HEXAGON 
  CR 6
  XP 2,400
  CN Tiny outsider (impossibility)
  Init:  +5   |   Senses:  blindsight 60 ft.   |   Perception:  +1
  Defense
  AC:  20   |   touch:  18   |   flat-footed:  14
  Modifiers:  +5 Dex,  +1 dodge,  +2 natural,  +2 size
  hp:  59  (7d10+21)
  Fort:  +5   |   Ref:  +10   |   Will:  +3
  Immune:  bleed,  critical hits,  precision damage
  Offense
  Speed:  fly 40 ft.
  Melee:  touch +12
  Space:  2.5 ft.   |   Reach:  0 ft.
  Special Attacks:  flatten
  Statistics
  Str: — | Dex: 21 | Con: — | Int: — | Wis: 12 | Cha: 16
  Base Atk:  +7   |   CMB:  +5   |   CMD:  20  (cannot be tripped)
  Feats:  DodgeB, HoverB, MobilityB
  Skills:  Perception +1,  Stealth +13
  SQ:  surface movement,  two-dimensional
  Ecology
  Environment:  any  (Two-Dimensional Reality)
  Organization:  solitary or grid  (3–7)
  Frequency:  very rare
  Treasure:  none
  Special Abilities
  Flatten (Su):  Any three-dimensional creature that comes 
  in contact with an impossible hexagon must make a DC 16 
  Fortitude save or take 6d6 damage. This can occur as the result 
  of a successful touch attack from the hexagon, or a successful 
  unarmed strike, natural attack, or touch attack against the 
  hexagon—gauntlets or magical gloves are sufficient to protect 
  against this effect. A creature reduced to zero of fewer hit 
  points by this ability must make an additional DC 16 Fortitude 
  save, creatures who fail this save—or are otherwise slain by this 
  effect—become two-dimensional, being flattened onto the 
  nearest surface. This ability can affect constructs and undead as 
  if they were living creatures but deals only half damage against 
  such creatures. Save DC is Charisma-based. 
  Surface Movement (Ex):  As part of a move action, an 
  impossible hexagon can move onto or off of any relatively flat 
  surface. The hexagon can move freely about the surface and 
  gains damage reduction equal to the surface’s hardness. While 
  on a surface the hexagon cannot use its flatten ability and does 
  not impose a penalty on attack rolls.
  Two-dimensional (Ex):  As two-dimensional creatures, 
  impossible hexagons lack Strength and Constitution scores—
  using Charisma to determine hit points. Additionally, all attack 
  rolls made against an impossible hexagon while in three-
  dimensional space suffer a −2 penalty if the attacker is using 
  vision as their primary targeting sense.
  Calling an impossible hexagon a creature is being more than a bit generous. 
  They are, in fact, little more than a mathematical concept, stray bits of 
  geometry from a two-dimensional reality much unlike any conceivable to 
  us properly three-dimensional beings. As they appear in the physical world, 
  impossible hexagons are the deepest black and measure exactly 16.43 inches 
  from point to point. When existing in three-dimensional space, the mere 
  sight of an impossible hexagon can be somewhat unsettling, as—lacking 
  mass and volume—they always appear to the viewer as a perfect hexagon, 
  regardless of the angle from which it is viewed.
   
  Finding themselves in a three-dimensional world causes a great deal of 
  confusion for an impossible hexagon—insofar as a hexagon can experience 
  confusion. To alleviate the situation, they often seek flat surfaces on which 
  they can live in a pseudo-two-dimensional way similar to that which they 
  would in their home reality. As long as the hexagon remains on a surface, it is 
  relatively harmless, although its presence will cause the surface to gradually 
  flatten until it is perfectly smooth. However, once it enters three-dimensional 
  space it becomes a danger to all of three-dimensionality.
   
  While its appearance may be unnerving, the hexagon’s incompatibil-
  ity with three-dimensional space is also be quite destructive. As a general 
  rule, whenever an object from one reality finds itself in another reality with  
  conflicting laws of physics, it is natural for that reality to force its own physics 
  upon that object. However, as a hexagon cannot be given three-dimension-
  ality, it is instead three-dimensional reality that is forced to conform to 
  the hexagon’s two-dimensional ways. The impossible hexagon dose this by 
  generating a quasi-two-dimensional plain around itself capable of collapsing 
  three-dimensional objects into two-dimensions. While living creatures and 
  complex machines are the most vulnerable to this effect, an impossible 
  hexagon can also flatten simple objects, and even entire structures given 
  sufficient time.
  
  6
  10 All-New Absurd Monsters 2
  Kamigami
  What at first appears to be a giant animate pile of hair is just that.
  KAMIGAMI 
  CR 4
  XP 1,200
  N Large construct
  Init:  −2   |   Senses:  tremorsense 60 ft.   |   Perception:  +0
  Defense
  AC:  12   |   touch:  7   |   flat-footed:  12
  Modifiers:  −2 Dex,  +5 natural,  −1 size
  hp:  57  (5d10+30)
  Fort:  +1   |   Ref:  −1   |   Will:  +1
  DR:  10/slashing   |   Immune:  cold,  construct traits
  Weaknesses:  flammable,  vulnerability to fire
  Offense
  Speed:  20 ft.   |   swim:   30 ft.
  Melee:  slam +6  (1d4+2 plus ensnare)
  Space:  10 ft.   |   Reach:  10 ft.
  Special Attacks:  engulf,  ensnare,  pull
  Statistics
  Str: 14 | Dex: 7 | Con: — | Int: — | Wis: 10 | Cha: 1
  Base Atk:  +5   |   CMB:  +8   |   CMD:  16  (cannot be tripped)
  Skills:  Stealth +2  (+6 in shallow water)
   
  Racial Modifiers:  Stealth +8  (+12 in shallow water)
  SQ:  hair tendrils
  Ecology
  Environment:  any  (usually swamps or underground)
  Organization:  solitary
  Frequency:  very rare
  Treasure:  none
  Special Abilities
  Engulf (Ex):  As a standard action, a kamigami can attempt to 
  pull an adjacent ensnared creature into its body with a grapple 
  check. If successful, the target creature is pulled into the 
  kamigami’s space, gains the pinned condition, and takes 2d6+3 
  damage. As long as the target is engulfed it takes an additional 
  2d6+3 damage each round and is unable to breath. If the pin is 
  escaped, the target creature emerges into the nearest vacant 
  space, but is still ensnared.
  Ensnare (Ex):  Creatures hit by a kamigami’s slam attack must 
  make a DC 14 Reflex save or become ensnared. The kamigami 
  may also attempt to ensnare any creature within the area of 
  its hair tendrils as a standard action. Ensnared creatures gain 
  the entangled condition and cannot move away from the 
  kamigami. Breaking free of the ensnarement requires a move 
  action and a DC 14 Strength check, a standard action and a 
  DC 14 Escape Artist check, or a full-round action and slashing 
  weapon to cut oneself free. Save DC is Strength-based.
  Flammable (Ex):  Any time a kamigami takes fire damage it must 
  make a DC 15 Reflex save or catch on fire. A flaming kamigami 
  takes 1d6 fire damage at the start of each turn, takes a −4 
  penalty to CMB and CMD, and releases all ensnared—but not 
  engulfed—creatures. Any creature starting its turn in the area 
  of the kamigami’s hair tendrils also take 1d6 fire damage unless 
  they succeed on a DC 15 Reflex save. Additionally, this adds 1d6 
  fire damage to the kamigami’s slam attack. A damp kamigami 
  loses this ability and its vulnerability to fire.
  Hair Tendrils (Ex):  The animated hair which makes up a 
  kamigami’s body extends outward 20 feet from its space 
  creating an area of non-magical difficult terrain. Additionally, 
  any creature who falls prone in the area must make an 
  immediate DC 14 Reflex save or be ensnared by the kamigami, 
  unattended objects dropped in the area are automatically 
  ensnared. Save DC is Strength-based.
  Pliable (Ex):  A kamigami can fit through any space large enough 
  for a small creature, although it must squeeze to do so.
  Pull (EX):  At the start of its turn, a kamigami may make a free 
  combat maneuver check against each creature it has ensnared. 
  If successful, the targets take 1d6 damage and are pulled 5 feet 
  towards the kamigami.
  Kamigami are large piles of sentient hair. While their exact origins are 
  unknown, there are several hotly-debated theories as to what would cause 
  such a large pile of hair to become sentient. One popular theory has it that 
  a kamigami forms from the hair of young lovers who’s parents have forbade 
  their union, leading the lovers to take their own lives by jumping into the 
  Forbidden River, so they may be together in the afterlife. While this theory 
  is popular, its critics are quick to point out that in addition to the overly 
  romantic nature of the narrative, evidence supporting the existence of the 
  Forbidden River is dubious as best. Another popular theory suggests that 
  a kamigami is the animated hair of an unjustly executed witch, returning 
  to take vengeance upon those who persecuted her. This theory also has its 
  detractors, most of whom will point out that a kamigami has never been 
  observed doing anything so purposeful that it could be interpreted as 
  vengeance. However, the most popular opinion is that it’s a sentient pile of 
  hair, and the circumstances of its creation are not particularly the sort of 
  thing upon which one should waste their valuable mental resources; this 
  theory has the least opposition.
   
  Regardless of where they come from or how the came to be, kamigami 
  can be found lurking in caves and swamps, catching whatever creatures 
  wander near and crushing them within its hairy mass. Despite their size 
  kamigami are quite pliable, allowing them to squeeze through small openings 
  or move unseen through the shallow waters of bogs and swamps. The 
  kamigami’s greatest weakness is fire, which deals it substantial damage and 
  negates some of its abilities. Of course fire can also transform it into a large 
  flaming pile of sentient hair, which is arguably worse.
  
  7
  10 All-New Absurd Monsters 2
   laser eye swarm
  Thousands of disembodied eyeballs float in midair, without warning 
  they begin firing beams in every direction.
  LASER EYE SWARM 
  CR 7
  XP 3,200
  N Diminutive aberration (swarm)
  Init:  +2   |   Senses:  darkvision 60 ft.   |   Perception:  +8
  Defense
  AC:  16   |   touch:  16   |   flat-footed:  15
  Modifiers:  +2 Dex,  +4 size
  hp:  71  (11d8+22)
  Fort:  +4   |   Ref:  +5   |   Will:  +7
  Defensive Abilities:  swarm traits   |   Immune:  mind-affecting 
  effects,  weapon damage
  Offense
  Speed:  5 ft.   |   fly:  20 ft.  (perfect)
  Melee:  swarm  (3d6 fire plus distraction)
  Space:  10 ft.   |   Reach:  0 ft.
  Special Attacks:  distraction (DC 16),  stray lasers
  Statistics
  Str: 1 | Dex: 15 | Con: 13 | Int: — | Wis: 10 | Cha: 5
  Base Atk:  +8   |   CMB:  —   |   CMD:  —
  Feats:  ToughnessB
  Skills:  Fly +16,  Perception +8   |   Racial Modifiers:  Perception 
  +8
  Ecology
  Environment:  usually underground
  Organization:  solitary or observation  (2–5 swarms)
  Frequency:  rare
  Treasure:  none
  Special Abilities
  Eye Lasers (Su):  The laser eyes’ eye lasers are concentrated 
  light beams that deal fire damage and are considered to be a 
  light effect. Eye lasers cannot penetrate an area of supernatural 
  darkness, but will pass harmlessly though invisible creatures 
  and objects. Creatures that are vulnerable to light take 2× 
  damage from eye lasers.
  Stray Lasers (Su):  A laser eye swarm fires its lasers indiscrimi-
  nately in every direction, making the swarm a danger to all 
  near it. Creatures stating their turn adjacent to the swarm must 
  make a DC 17 Reflex save or take 1d6 fire damage plus 1d6 
  per 5 points by which the save failed. Creatures that start their 
  turns within 20 feet of—but not adjacent to or inside—the 
  swarm have a 50% of being affected by this ability. Save DC is 
  Dexterity-based.
  Floating eyes are fascinating creatures consisting of a single disembodied 
  eyeball with the curious ability to float and fire beams of intense light. Given 
  these unusual qualities, they can be an interesting thing to keep around for 
  study or just as an oddity to show off to friends and colleagues. And while 
  their beams can give a nasty sting, they’re more or less harmless, provided 
  they’re only kept in small numbers. The danger comes once they begin  
  congregating in the thousands—which they are prone to do if given the  
  opportunity. In these numbers their normally harmless eye beams become 
  an assault of tiny blasts capable of chipping through the strongest defenses.
   
  Given their lack of any type of lid, floating eyes are quite sensitive to 
  bright lights and dry conditions, as such they are most commonly found in 
  caves and dungeons— although they may be found in any sufficiently dark 
  and damp area. Whether alone or in swarms, the eyes are mostly content to 
  float around minding their own eye-related business. However, if startled—
  an unsurprisingly easy thing to do—they will begin wildly firing their eye 
  beams in every direction. Due to this behavior, the presence of countless 
  small burn marks on the walls, floors, and ceiling of a cavern is a telltale sign 
  that the area is inhabited by a large number of floating eyes. Once startled, 
  an eye swarm becomes a considerable inconvenience, as their indiscriminate 
  firing poses a danger to all unfortunate enough to be in the general area.
   
  Despite the obvious danger, some have been known to attempt to utilize 
  eye swarms as a defensive strategy, as they can feel quite at home in a number 
  of common lairs and require little upkeep. There have even been accounts 
  of some skeletons of higher than average—but still fairly low—intelligence 
  attempting to fit the creatures into their vacant eye sockets to gain use of 
  their eye beams. This is of course a profoundly stupid plan, as the skeleton 
  has no control over the beams and ends up blocking their own sight. The 
  eyes however, are fairly content to ride around in the skeleton’s skull, blasting 
  whatever it happens to turn in the direction of.
   
  If conflict is unavoidable, the best tactic for dealing with an eye swarm 
  is to turn oneself invisible—rendering oneself immune to the effects of the 
  eyes’ beams—and simply pass through. If one cannot turn oneself invisible, 
  it is advisable to learn to do so, as it is a useful ability to have in a number of 
  survival situations. 
  
  8
  10 All-New Absurd Monsters 2
  sluglord
  This creature’s slug-like visage hides a vast and diabolical intellect.
  SLUGLORD 
  CR 2
  XP 600
  LE Diminutive aberration (extraterrestrial)
  Init:  −2   |   Senses:  darkvision 60 ft.   |   Perception:  +7
  Defense
  AC:  12   |   touch:  12   |   flat-footed:  12
  Modifiers:  −2 Dex,  +4 size
  hp:  13  (3d8)
  Fort:  +1   |   Ref:  −1   |   Will:  +5
  Defensive Abilities:  mind shield
  Weaknesses:  disease vulnerability −1
  Offense
  Speed:  10 ft.   |   climb:  10 ft.
  Melee:  bite +4  (1d2−5 plus paralysis)
  Ranged:  PK slam +4  (1d6+3)
  Space:  1 ft.   |   Reach:  0 ft.
  Special Attacks:  paralysis  (1d4+1 rounds, DC 12)
  Spell-Like Abilities:  CL 3
   At-Will—mage hand
   1/day—charm person (DC 14),  mage armor
  Statistics
  Str: 1 | Dex: 7 | Con: 10 | Int: 17 | Wis: 12 | Cha: 8
  Base Atk:  +2   |   CMB:  −7  (+5 PK)   |   CMD:  1  (cannot be 
  tripped)
  Feats:  Ability Focus (paralysis),  Weapon Finesse
  Skills:  Bluff +2,  Knowledge (arcana, astronomy*, dungeoneering, 
  engineering, and nature) +7,  Knowledge (local) +9,  Linguistics 
  +5,  Perception +7,  Sense Motive +4,  Stealth +14
  Languages:  Aklo,  Common,  Dwarven,  Goblin,  Outercommon;  
  telepathy 100 ft.  (cannot speak)
  SQ:  compression,  eldritch knowledge
  Ecology
  Environment:  any planetary
  Organization:  solitary or clan  (3–12 infected humanoids)
  Frequency:  very rare
  Treasure:  none
  Special Abilities
  Braineater (Ex):  A sluglord can bore a 2-inch hole in the skull of 
  a helpless medium or larger humanoid—hereafter referred to as 
  the host. This action takes 1 full round and requires a successful 
  bite attack to begin. Ones the hole is done, the sluglord can 
  begin entering the host’s skull as a full-round action. The host 
  looses 1 point of Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma each 
  round as the sluglord consumes its brain. Once the target—has 
  had its Intelligence score reduced to 2 or lower, the sluglord 
  fully enters the skull, attaches itself to the host’s nervous 
  system, and begins functioning as its new brain. A sluglord 
  that has not fully entered the host’s skull can be removed as a 
  full-round action requiring a successful grapple check. Once 
  the sluglord has attached itself to the host, they are considered 
  one creature for all purposes. For full details see the sluglord 
  controlled creature template.
  Eldritch Knowledge (Ex): Sluglords treat all Knowledge skills as 
  class skills and may make Knowledge checks untrained.
  Mind Shield (Su):  Sluglords gain a +4 bonus to all Will saves 
  versus mind-affecting effects.
  PK Maneuvers (Su):  Sluglords can execute all combat 
  maneuvers—excluding grapple and overrun—at a distance 
  of up to 10 feet using psychokinesis. For the purpose of these 
  maneuvers the sluglord’s CMB is calculated with Intelligence in 
  place of Strength and no size modifier. For combat maneuvers 
  that require a creature to be of a specific size, the sluglord is 
  treated as a medium creature when using this ability. Using 
  this ability is a solely mental action which does not provoke, 
  all effects created are invisible and give no indication as to the 
  user’s location.
  PK Slam (Su):  As a standard action, a sluglord can deliver a 
  concentrated blast of psychokinetic energy as a ranged attack 
  against a target within 10 feet. This blast deals 1d6 + the 
  sluglord’s Intelligence modifier damage. Using this ability is a 
  solely mental action which does not provoke, all effects created 
  are invisible and give no indication as to the user’s location.
  Advancement
  Ability Scores:  A sluglord gains 1 point of Intelligence at 4 hit 
  dice and 1 additional point at every even-numbered hit die 
  after 4.
  Attacks: At 5 hit dice and ever 3 hit dice after, the sluglord’s PK 
  slam attack gains +1d6 damage.
  Spell-Like Abilities: For every hit die gained, a sluglord gains 
  a spell-like ability usable once per day—at-will if 0-level. The 
  sluglord may choose any spell from the sorcerer/wizard spell 
  list of up to a level that can be cast by a sorcerer of equal caster 
  lever. Sluglords use Intelligence as their spell-casting ability 
  score and treat their hit dice total as their effective caster level.
  *See page 13 for information on the Knowledge (astronomy) skill.
  
  9
  10 All-New Absurd Monsters 2
  Sluglords are unappealing lumps of green flesh that hail from some unknown 
  place among the stars. Unappealing lumpiness aside, they are in fact highly-
  intelligent creatures, and diabolical invaders who descend upon worlds like a 
  plague. Unfortunately for the inhabitants of such worlds, the means by which 
  sluglords carry out their invasions are most unpleasant.
   
  In addition to their intellect and psionic powers, sluglords possess 
  a paralyzing venom which they use to incapacitate their hapless victims 
  making it much easier to chew their way into the poor creature’s skull, where 
  they consume and replace the brain. This leaves the sluglord in control of 
  the creature’s body, which it promptly puts to good use finding host bodies 
  for its fellow sluglords. In addition to being rather rude, this method of 
  invasion allows sluglords to infiltrate the population and establish a foothold 
  on a planet without arousing too much suspicion from the locals. The only 
  outward signs that a creature has been taken over by a sluglord are yellow-
  tinted eyes and scars from the entrance wound—which are often covered or 
  minimized by using surgical implanting whenever possible—both of which 
  can explained away as having more conventional causes.
   
  Some exonaturalists have suggested that sluglords may have once has 
  full bodies of their own, but shed them to allow for the body-possession 
  style of invasion they use. However, these people are likely just unscrupu-
  lous crackpots looking to make a name for themselves with their absurd and 
  unfounded fancies.
  THE SURGEON 
  CR 4
  XP 1,200
  Human sluglord controlled expert 5
  LE Medium humanoid (aberration,  extraterrestrial)
  Init:  +5   |   Senses:  darkvision 60 ft.   |   Perception:  +9
  Defense
  AC:  11   |   touch:  11   |   flat-footed:  10
  Modifiers:  +1 Dex
  hp:  27  (5d8+5)
  Fort:  +1   |   Ref:  +2   |   Will:  +5
  Defensive Abilities:  mind shield
  Weaknesses:  disease vulnerability −1
  Offense
  Speed:  30 ft.
  Melee:  scalpel +4  (1d3 ×3),  bite −1  (1d3 plus paralysis)
  Ranged:  PK slam +4  (2d6+4)
  Special Attacks:  paralysis  (1d4+1 rounds,  DC 13)
  Spell-Like Abilities:  CL 5
   At-Will—mage hand
   1/day—charm person (DC 15),  darkness,  hideous laughter (DC 
  16),  mage armor
  Statistics
  Str: 10 | Dex: 13 | Con: 11 | Int: 18 | Wis: 12 | Cha: 8
  Base Atk:  +3   |   CMB:  +3  (+7 PK)   |   CMD:  14
  Feats:  Ability Focus (paralysis)B,  Improved Initiative,  Skill Focus 
  (bluff),  Skill Focus (heal),  Toughness,  Weapon FinesseB
  Skills:  Bluff +7,  Diplomacy +7,  Heal +12,  Knowledge (arcana, 
  astronomy, dungeoneering, engineering, and nature) +10,  
  Knowledge (local and religion) +2,  Linguistics +9,  Perception + 
  9,  Profession (doctor) +9,  Sense Motive +9,  Sleight of Hand +9,  
  Spellcraft +10,  Stealth +8
  Languages:  Aklo,  Common,  Dwarven,  Elven,  Goblin,  Halfling,  
  Outercommon;  telepathy 100 ft.  
  SQ:  eldritch knowledge
  Creating a Sluglord Controlled Creature
  “Sluglord controlled” is an acquired template that can be applied to any 
  medium intelligent creature with a centralized brain—hereafter referred to as 
  the base creature—combining it with a sluglord. For all purposes the sluglord 
  and base creature are treated as a single entity. A sluglord controlled creature 
  retains all the base creature’s statistics and abilities except as listed below.
  Challenge Rating:  As base creatures +1
  Alignment:  Same as controlling sluglord—usually Lawful-Evil.
  Type:  Base creature retains original creature type but is treated as an 
  aberration for any effect dependent of creature type that requires a Will save 
  or is otherwise based on mental ability scores.
  Senses:  The base creature gains darkvision 60 ft., any other types of 
  special vision or vision-based abilities—including gaze attacks—are lost. If 
  the base creature possesses traits granting bonuses to Perception checks—
  like keen senses—that ability no long applies to vision-based checks.
  Hit Dice:  The base creature retains all racial and class hit dice. The 
  sluglord also retains its hit dice, although they only function they serve is for 
  determining sluglord special abilities and Intelligence advancements.
  Advancement:  Whenever the sluglord controlled creature gains a hit 
  die, the sluglord gains one as well—unless the creature’s hit dice are less than 
  the controlling sluglord.
  Saves:  Base creature gains a good Will save, other saves are unchanged.
  Defensive Abilities:  The base creature retains any defensive abilities—
  excluding immunity to mind-affecting effects—and gains the suglord’s mind 
  shield ability.
  Melee Attacks:  If the base creature does not possess a bite attack, it 
  gains a secondary bite attack dealing 1d3 damage.
  Special Attacks:  The base creature retains any special attacks and 
  gains the sluglord’s PK maneuvers and PK slam attacks. In addition, the base 
  creature adds the sluglord’s paralysis to its bite attack—DC equal to 1/2 the 
  base creature’s hit dice plus Constitution modifier.
  Spell-Like Abilities: The base creature gains all spell-like abilities 
  possessed by the sluglord.
  Special Abilities:  The base creature retains all special abilities and class 
  features including spells—unless affected by other changes. Abilities granted 
  by deities are retained only if the deity sees fit to grant them to the sluglord.
  Abilities:  The base creature retains its physical ability scores—Strength, 
  Dexterity, and Constitution—and gains the controlling sluglord’s mental 
  ability scores—Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma. Changes in intelligence 
  do not affect current skill points.
  Skills:  All the base creature’s class skills and physical skill ranks 
  remain unchanged. Mental skills are recalculated using the higher of the base 
  creature or the sluglord’s ranks, excluding Perception which always uses the 
  sluglord’s skill ranks. A sluglord controlled creature always treats Knowledge 
  (local), Perception, and Stealth as class skills.
  Feats:  The base creature retains all feats and gains Ability Focus 
  (paralysis) and  Weapon Finesse as bonus feats.
  Special Qualities:  The sluglord can voluntarily detach itself and leave 
  the host. This takes one hour of concentrated work, during which time the 
  sluglord controlled creature is considered helpless. The sluglord retains all hit 
  dice—with associated sluglord advancements—skill ranks, and feats gained 
  while it was controlling the base creature, but no abilities it gained from the 
  base creature. The base creature dies—unless it can live without a brain.
  
  10
  10 All-New Absurd Monsters 2
  snoose
  This awkward little creature seems harmless enough; unfortunately, 
  things that seem harmless have a bad habit of not being so. 
  SNOOSE 
  CR 1
  XP 400
  N Small magical beast
  Init:  1   |   Senses:  darkvision 60 ft.,  low-light vision,  scent
   
  Perception:  +5
  Defense
  AC:  12   |   touch:  12   |   flat-footed:  12
  Modifiers:  +1 Dex,  +1 size
  hp:  14  (2d10+3)
  Fort:  +3   |   Ref:  +4   |   Will:  +1
  Defensive Abilities:  smokescreen   |   Resist:  fire 15
  Offense
  Speed:  20 ft.
  Melee:  bite +1  (1d3−2)
  Space:  5 ft.   |   Reach:  5 ft.
  Special Attacks:  flamethrower  (15-foot cone,  DC 11,  2d6 fire)
  Statistics
  Str: 6 | Dex: 12 | Con: 11 | Int: 2 | Wis: 12 | Cha: 10
  Base Atk:  +2   |   CMB:  +2   |   CMD:  10
  Feats:  Toughness
  Skills:  Perception +5,  Stealth +9
  Ecology
  Environment:  temperate mountains and plains
  Organization:  solitary or combustion  (2–8)
  Frequency:  uncommon
  Treasure:  none
  Special Abilities
  Flamethrower (Su):  As a standard action, a snoose can breath 
  fire from its trunk in a 15-foot cone. All creatures in the cone’s 
  area take 2d6 fire damage, a successful DC 11 Reflex save halves 
  the damage. Save DC is Constitution-based.
  Smokescreen (Su):  As a standard action, a snoose can emit a 
  cloud of concealing smoke. The cloud covers a 35 ft.-diameter 
  area centered on the snoose’s space and lasts for 5 rounds, 
  but otherwise functions as the fog cloud spell. The cloud has 
  a musky odor which—while not overpowering—prevents use 
  of the scent ability within the cloud’s area, and may alert other 
  creatures to the danger.
  Legends tell of mighty winged beasts who blackened the skies and rained 
  fiery death upon all those in their path. It is widely believed that snooses are 
  the only remaining descendants of those creatures.
   
  Snooses are miserable little creatures around three feet in height with 
  rotund bodies held up by scrawny, knobby-kneed legs and balanced on 
  grotesquely over-sized feet. Where most creatures would have the decency 
  to keep their arms—or at least another set of somewhat useful limbs—the 
  snoose instead chooses to have a pair of vestigial winglets which seem good 
  for nothing more than flailing about. Capping off the creature is its bulbous 
  head with bulging eyes and a long trunk. This combination of features gives 
  the snoose an overall appearance not all too dissimilar from a cross between 
  a blue elephant and a plucked chicken.
   
  In addition to their ridiculous appearance, snooses possess a pair of 
  ridiculous natural abilities. When threatened, a snoose can—and generally 
  will—expel a cloud of musky smoke from a set of openings on the sides of its 
  body beneath their wings. Now were the snoose a more intelligent creature, 
  it would use this cover to run away, but instead it hides near the center and 
  waits for the threat to pass. The smoke also serves to alert other nearby 
  snooses of the potential danger—although it usually just alerts scavengers 
  that they can expect a meal soon. The only real offensive capability the snoose 
  possesses is its ability to shoot a stream of fire out of its funny little trunk. 
  They use this ability to hunt the insects and small animals on which they 
  subside. In addition to killing off harmful parasites, this makes their food 
  easier to chew with the tiny set of teeth that line the end of their trunk.
   
  Snooses are generally docile creatures that will usually only attack in 
  self-defense. Unfortunately they are also panicky and easily-startled creatures 
  who may intemperate something as innocuous as a strong breeze to be a 
  credible threat. This nervous disposition makes snooses dangerous to be 
  around and practically impossible to tame—although the prospect of a fire-
  breathing guard beast is too tempting for the few foolhardy souls who still try.
   
  While the danger posed by a snoose in fairly minimal, it is still generally 
  advised to avoid them as they pose a considerably greater threat to one’s 
  dignity. It is almost universally agreed upon that a confrontation with a 
  snoose is a stupid and pointless endeavor from which no good can come, 
  and those who subject themselves to it are worse off for the effort. If one of 
  an adventurous temperament ever happens to find themselves bested by a 
  snoose, it is perhaps in indicator that they should pursue a different lifestyle.
  
  11
  10 All-New Absurd Monsters 2
  storm bunny
  This fluffy little critter packs an unexpected punch.
  STORM BUNNY 
  CR 3
  XP 800
  N Tiny magical beast (air)
  Init:  +9   |   Senses:  darkvision 60 ft.,  low-light vision
   
  Perception:  +7 
  Defense
  AC:  18   |   touch:  18   |   flat-footed:  12
  Modifiers:  +5 Dex,  +1 dodge,  +2 size
  hp:  22  (5d10−5)
  Fort:  +3   |   Ref:  +9   |   Will:  +2
  Immune:  electricity
  Offense
  Speed:  20 ft.   |   climb:  20 ft.
  Melee:  bite +12  (1d3−4 + 1d4 electricity)
  Space:  2.5 ft.   |   Reach:  0 ft.
  Special Attacks:  call storm,  lightning hop,  lightning strike
  Statistics
  Str: 3 | Dex: 21 | Con: 10 | Int: 2 | Wis: 12 | Cha: 15
  Base Atk:  +5   |   CMB:  +8   |   CMD:  14  (18 versus trip)
  Feats:  Dodge,  Improved InitiativeB,  Mobility,  Weapon Finesse
  Skills:  Acrobatics +9  (+17 to jump),  Perception +7,  Stealth +17
   
  Racial Modifiers:  Acrobatics +8 to jump
  Ecology
  Environment:  any
  Organization:  solitary or accompanied by a medium or larger 
  lightning elemental.
  Frequency:  very rare
  Treasure:  none
  Special Abilities
  Call Storm (Su):  As a full-round action, a storm bunny can 
  summon a storm in a 100-foot radius area centered on itself. 
  The area is immediately subject to moderate winds and 
  gathering clouds, after 1d4 rounds it will begin to rain—or 
  snow if temperature is below freezing—at which point the 
  storm is sufficient to altar the damage dice of lightning strikes. 
  The storm will dissipate 1d3 minutes after it is summoned. The 
  duration can be reset with an additional use of this ability.
  Lightning Hop (Su):  As a move action, a storm bunny can 
  convert its body to electricity and move up to 60 feet—
  minimum 10 feet. This movement must be made in a straight 
  line, and can bypass any obstacle that a bolt of electricity 
  could reasonably pass through. Any creature who’s space the 
  storm bunny moves through—excluding creatures in who’s 
  space the bunny ends its movement—must make a DC 17 
  Reflex save or take 1d6 electricity damage. Beginning this 
  movement provokes as normal movement, but does not one 
  the movement has begun. Save DC is Dexterity-based.
  Lightning Strike (Sp):  As a standard action, a storm bunny 
  can call down a bolt of lightning. Lightning bolts from this 
  ability are as those from the call lightning spell (3d6 electricity 
  damage, DC 14 reflex save for half damage) except that the 
  storm bunny is not restricted in number of uses, but may only 
  target its own space. Save DC is Charisma-based.
  Storm bunnies are much like normal rabbits, expect that have been infused 
  with powerful elemental energy by a lightning elemental. Nobody is quite 
  sure why the elementals do this, as it seems a remarkable silly thing to do, and 
  elementals are not widely regarded as remarkably silly creatures. However, 
  regardless of what—if any—motivation is behind there existence, exist they 
  do and will likely continue to do so for the foreseeable future.
   
  In appearance, the most notable aspect of the storm bunny is its lack 
  of notable distinction from a standard white rabbit. The only clues to the 
  shocking truth of their power are slightly glowing eyes and the occasional 
  spark thrown from their twitchy little noses.
   
  However, in contrast to its lack of distinctive physical attributes, the 
  storm bunny possesses several considerably distinctive abilities. Storm 
  bunnies are capable of incredible bursts of speed—as one might expect a 
  rabbit imbued with lightning elemental power to be—by means of converting 
  itself into a fluffy little lightning bolt. Storm bunnies also seem to possess 
  some degree of control over the weather, having the ability to create storms 
  from clear skies and call down lightning bolts at will
   
  Having started life as a defenseless rabbit and now possessing an 
  impressive level of power, storm bunnies are not shy about using their 
  abilities. While not inherently aggressive, storm bunnies will often take the 
  initiative in protecting themselves or their homes against creatures who they 
  view as a threat. Due to their small size and literal lightning-fast speed, it’s not 
  unheard of for unsuspecting travelers to unknowingly wander too close and 
  suddenly find themselves dodging lightning bolts in a freak storm.
  
  12
  10 All-New Absurd Monsters 2
  terror totem
  This towering beast has three horrid faces, each more gruesome than 
  the last.
  TERROR TOTEM 
  CR 9
  XP 6,400
  LE Large aberration
  Init:  −1   |   Senses:  darkvision 60 ft.   |   Perception:  +19
  Defense
  AC:  20   |   touch:  8   |   flat-footed:  20
  Modifiers:  −1 Dex,  +12 natural,  −1 size
  hp:  119  (14d8+56)
  Fort:  +7   |   Ref:  +5   |   Will:  +11
  Offense
  Speed:  40 ft.   |   fly:  20 ft.  (poor)
  Melee:  bite +15  (2d6+5),  2 claws +15  (1d6+5),  2 wings +13  
  (1d6+2)
  Space:  10 ft.   |   Reach:  10 ft.
  Special Attacks:  grasping tongue +14 touch  (grab)
  Spells Known:  CL 7th
  3rd (5/day, DC 16)—lightning bold, wind wall
  2nd (7/day, DC 15)—darkness, fog cloud, invisibility
  1st (7/day, DC 14)—alarm, grease, magic missile, ray of enfeeble-
  ment, reduce person
  0th (at-will, DC 13)—arcane mark, bleed, detect magic, ghost 
  sound, mage hand, ray of frost, resistance
  Statistics
  Str: 21 | Dex: 8 | Con: 17 | Int: 10 | Wis: 10 | Cha: 17
  Base Atk:  +10   |   CMB:  +16   |   CMD:  25
  Feats:  Hover,  Iron Will,  Multiattack,  Toughness,  Weapon Focus 
  (bite),  Weapon Focus (claw),  Weapon Focus (wing)
  Skills:  Acrobatics +5,  Bluff +11,  Fly +10,  Knowledge (local) +10,  
  Perception +19,  Spellcraft +7,  Stealth +8
  Languages:  Aklo,  Common,  Goblin
  SQ:  humanoid guise
  Ecology
  Environment:  any forests
  Organization:  solitary
  Frequency:  very rare
  Treasure:  none
  Special Abilities
  Grasping Tongue (Ex):  The lowest face of the terror totem 
  can shoot out its long sticky tongue as a touch attack with a 
  reach of 15 feet. On a hit the terror totem makes a free grapple 
  attempt, if successful the target gains the grappled condition 
  but the terror totem does not. Maintaining this grapple pulls 
  the target 5 feet towards the terror totem. This ability can be 
  used as part of a full-round attack action in place of a bite 
  attack, and negates the bite attack while in use.
  Humanoid Guise (Su):  As a standard action, a terror totem 
  can assume a medium humanoid form. While in this form it 
  takes a −4 penalty to strength and loses all natural and special 
  attacks—but retains spell-casting. To a casual observer the 
  totem appears to be a normal—albeit profoundly ugly—
  human, although a DC 20 Perception check will reveal its 
  aberrant nature.
  Protected Casting (Ex):  A terror totem’s extra arms allow it to 
  defend itself while casting, as such it does not provoke attacks 
  of opportunity from medium of smaller creature when casting a 
  spell. It may however still provoke from creatures of which it is 
  unaware, or who are elevated at least 10 feet.
  A terror totem is a creature which practices an most unusual form of poly-
  cephaly. Rather than attaching each head to its body via a neck, the terror 
  totem stacks its four heads on top of each other with no discernible body 
  to speak of. In fact, it seems that the only other anatomy possessed by the 
  creature is a single pair of limbs attached to each head—stout legs, powerful 
  clawed arms, leathery wings, and another set of much less powerful arms 
  respectively. It is generally believed that the top head has authority over the 
  others. However, this is unconfirmed, as nobody who has ever encounter a 
  terror totem and lived to speak of it has ever taken the opportunity to ask.
   
  Encountering a terror totem can be an unfortunate and difficult 
  experience for even the most seasoned of adventurers, given its considerable 
  skill in both combat and deception. While the bottom three heads possess 
  formidable attacks and rely on brute strength, the topmost head focuses 
  on spell-casting, which it uses to aid the lower portions of itself in battle. 
  However, the terror totem is a moderately intelligent creature and can be 
  reasoned with if one can offer it something it wants. Unfortunately this more 
  often than not favors those already in-line with the totem’s disposition rather 
  than those of more decent intentions.
  
  13
  10 All-New Absurd Monsters 2
  suPPlementary content
  The following content is being provided to enhance your gameplay 
  experience, and without ulterior motives.
  New Feat
  Naturalist
  If you know what it is, you might know how to kill it.
   
  Prerequisites: 5 ranks in Knowledge skills, Intelligence 15
   
  Benefit: You gain a +4 bonus on Knowledge checks made to identify 
  creatures. Additionally you may make such checks untrained up to a CR of 
  10 + your total number of Knowledge skill ranks.
  New Spells
  ELEMENTAL GLOBS
  School:  conjuration  (creation)  [cold, electricity, fire]
   
  Level:  alchemist 1, sorcerer/wizard 1, witch 1
  Casting Time:  1 standard action
  Components:  V, S
  Range:  personal
  Target:  you
  Duration:  1 round/level until discharged (minimum 3 rounds)
  Saving Throw:  none  |  Spell Resistance:  no
  Once cast, this spell allows the user to spit up elemental globs as a 
  touch attack with a range of 30 feet. The globs deal 2d6 elemental 
  damage—cold, electricity, and fire respectively—and may be used 
  in whichever order the caster desires. Making a glob attack is a 
  standard action which does not provoke.
  SNOOSE’S BREATH
  School:  evocation  [fire]  |  Level:  magus 2, sorcerer/wizard 2
  Casting Time:  1 standard action
  Components:  V, S, M (crushed red pepper)
  Range:  personal
  Target:  you
  Duration:  1 minute or until discharged
  Saving Throw:  Reflex half  |  Spell Resistance:  yes
  At any time during the spell’s duration the caster can breath out 
  a 15-foot cone of fire as a standard action. This can be done a 
  number of times equal to 1/2 caster level up to a maximum of 5 
  times at level 10. For purposes such as provoking attacks of op-
  portunity, casting defensively, and the magus’ spell combat ability, 
  each use of the spells ability is treated as its own spell.
  New Skill
  The Knowledge (astronomy) skill was originally featured in 10 All-New Space 
  Monsters, and is included here for your convenience.
  Knowledge (astronomy)
  Int; Trained Only
  You are educated in matters pertaining to celestial bodies; in particular, their 
  movements and relative positions to Terra.
   
  Check: You can identify known planets, moons, stars, and constellations 
  in the night sky—or representations of the night sky. Simply identifying—or 
  noticing an irregularity in—celestial bodies uses the standard Knowledge 
  check DCs. 
   
  Navigate: A DC 10 Knowledge (astronomy) check allows you to 
  determine true north, and gain a +2 bonus to a Survival check made to 
  navigate at night. You must have a clear view of the sky to gain this bonus.
   
  Calculate Celestial Events: Allows for calculation of the time of 
  upcoming celestial occurrences, such as eclipses and alignments—e.g. deter-
  mining when “the stars are right.” A successful check allows you to determine 
  the exact time of a celestial event’s next occurrence. The DC for calculating 
  celestial events is based on how often the event occurs—see Table: Celestial 
  Event DCs.
   
  Identify Extraterrestrial Creatures: Knowledge (astronomy) may be used 
  in place of the normal Knowledge checks when identifying creatures with the 
  extraterrestrial subtype.
   
  Action: Usually the same as other knowledge checks. Checks made to 
  calculate celestial events with a DC higher than 10, take a minimum of one 
  half day’s work for every 5 the DC is above 10.
   
  Try Again: Checks to calculate celestial events may be retried any time 
  you gain ranks in Knowledge (astronomy), or acquire new relevant informa-
  tion or resources.
   
  Special: Creatures with the starvision ability gain additional uses of the 
  Knowledge (astronomy) skill
   
  Class Skills: Add Knowledge (astronomy) to the class skills for the 
  alchemist, monk, and witch.
  Table: Celestial Event DCs
  Frequency
  Example
  DC
  Once a month or more.
  Full Moon
  10
  Less than 5 times per year.
  Eclipse
  15
  Once per year or less.
  Minor Alignment
  20
  Once per century.
  Major Alignment
  30
  Less than once per century.
  Special Alignment
  +1/100  
  years.
  GM’s wishing to incorporate use of the Knowledge (astronomy) skill without 
  adding an additional skill to the game may resolve Knowledge (astronomy) 
  checks as Knowledge (nature) checks—or Knowledge (religion) if used to 
  calculate celestial events of religious significance. Substituted Knowledge 
  (astronomy) checks cannot be used to identify extraterrestrial creatures.
  
  14
  10 All-New Absurd Monsters 2
  insigniFicant monsters
  The following monsters appear in this book in giant forms or as part of 
  swarms. They are presented here in normal sized and singular versions.
  LASER EYE 
  CR 1/6
  XP 65
  N Diminutive aberration
  Init:  +1   |   Senses:  darkvision 60 ft.   |   Perception:  +0
  Defense
  AC:  15   |   touch:  15   |   flat-footed:  14
  Modifiers:  +1 Dex,  +4 size
  hp:  3  (1d8−1)
  Fort:  −1   |   Ref:  +1   |   Will:  +2
  Immune:  mind-affecting effects
  Offense
  Speed:  5 ft.   |   fly:  20 ft.  (perfect)
  Ranged:  eye laser +5 touch (1 fire, range 10 ft.)
  Space:  1 ft.   |   Reach:  0 ft.
  Statistics
  Str: 1 | Dex: 12 | Con: 8 | Int: — | Wis: 10 | Cha: 5
  Base Atk:  +0   |   CMB:  −9   |   CMD:  5
  Skills:  Fly +15,
  Ecology
  Environment:  usually underground
  Organization:  solitary, pair, occurrence (100–1,000), or swarm  
  (5,000+)
  Frequency:  rare
  Treasure:  none
  Familiar
  At 13th level, the master of a laser eye familiar gains the ability to 
  see through its eye. This is an at-will supernatural ability with 
  a duration of concentration. This ability replaces the scry on 
  familiar ability.
  VAMPIRE HUMMINGBIRD 
  CR 1/4
  XP 100
  NE Diminutive undead
  Init:  +3   |   Senses:  darkvision 60 ft.   |   Perception:  +3
  Defense
  AC:  17   |   touch:  17   |   flat-footed:  14
  Modifiers:  +3 Dex, +4 size
  hp:  5  (1d8+1)
  Fort:  +1   |   Ref:  +3   |   Will:  +4
  Immune:  undead traits   |   Resist: cold 1,  electricity 1
  Weaknesses:  lesser vampire weaknesses
  Offense
  Speed:  5 ft.   |   fly:  20 ft. (good)
  Melee:  gore +7  (1d2−5)
  Space:  1 ft.   |   Reach:  0 ft.
  Special Attacks:  blood drain
  Statistics
  Str: 1 | Dex: 17 | Con: — | Int: 2 | Wis: 14 | Cha: 13
  Base Atk:  +0   |   CMB:  −1   |   CMD:  4
  Feats:  Weapon Finesse
  Skills:  Fly +9,  Perception +3
  Ecology
  Environment:  cold forests
  Organization:  solitary,  pair,  or charm  (3–12)
  Frequency:  very rare
  Treasure:  none
  Special Abilities
  Blood Drain (Su):  When a vampire hummingbird deals damage 
  to a living creature with its gore attack it heals 1 hit point.
  Lesser Vampire Weaknesses (Su):  Vampire hummingbirds are 
  not repulsed by mirrors or holy symbols and may enter private 
  dwellings without being invited. They are otherwise affected by 
  vampire weaknesses as normal.
  Familiar
  The master of a vampire hummingbird familiar gains a +4 bonus 
  to perception checks at night.
  
  15
  10 All-New Absurd Monsters 2
  oPen game license Version 1.0a
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  15. COPYRIGHT NOTICE
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  System Reference Document. Copyright 2000, Wizards of the Coast, Inc.; 
  Authors Jonathan Tweet, Monte Cook, Skip Williams, based on material by 
  E. Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson.
  Pathfinder RPG Core Rulebook. Copyright 2009, Paizo Inc.; Author: Jason 
  Bulmahn, based on material by Jonathan Tweet, Monte Cook, and Skip 
  Williams.
  The Book of Experimental Might. Copyright 2008, Monte J. Cook. All rights 
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  Tome of Horrors. Copyright 2002, Necromancer Games, Inc.; Authors: Scott 
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  www.octopusapocalypse.com
  
SOURCE: textdata/thevault/Pathfinder/1st Edition/3rd Party/Octopus Apocalypse/10 All New Absurd Monsters 2 [PF1].pdf