TEXT: A NUELOW GENERAL ROLE-PLAYING GAME PRODUCT:
  "Horndogs!"
  Role-playing Adventures with Drunken Fratboys in the Age of AIDS
  NL04
  *INSIDE FRONT COVER*
  NUELOW game products:
  "Fairies!" (Available Now)
  "Lust and Dust!" (Available Now)
  "Ugly Ducklings and Ice Queens!" (Available Now)
  "Horndogs!" (Available Now)
  "Stars and Garters!" (Available Soon)
  "Mechin' Out!" (Available Soon)
  "Phantom Lovers!" (Available Sometime)
  "Cyberpluck!" (Available Sometime)
  "Sea of Sinners!" (Available Sometime)
  The NUELOW Bedside Companion (Available Sometime)
  Dedicated to Steve's dorky Chevy Sprint, without which we'd be
  taking the bus.
  Lyric of the Month:"How can you ignore me when you know that I
  can't live without you? / I have to go through your garbage just to
  learn more about you."
  --"Weird Al" Yankovic, "Melanie," from Even Worse, Rock 'n' Roll
  Records, 1989
  Published by Wordsmiths, 616 E. 700 S., Salt Lake City, UT 84102.
  (E-mail to smiller@media.utah.edu or nuelow@earthlink.net) Text and
  NUELOW game, Copyright 1994 Steven Miller.  All rights reserved.
  NUELOW is Wordsmiths' trademark for its multi-genre humor
  roleplaying games. Other games, movies, and television shows
  mentioned are trademarked by Someone Else. We mention them in the
  hope that their lofty reputations will rub off on us. No
  infringement or challenge to ownership intended.
  *PAGE ONE*
  "HORNDOGS!"
  Role-playing Adventures with Drunken Fratboys in the Age of AIDS
  Original Game Design and Development: Steven Miller 
  Additional Design: John K. Solomon, Thomas Biskup, and Jon Alfred
  Invaluable Assistance: E.M. and the Silver City Gang
  Editing: Thomas Biskup and Vincent J. Guinto
  TABLE OF CONTENTS                                                 
  THE OBLIGATORY "WHAT IS A ROLE-PLAYING GAME" SECTION
  1 of 27
  
  INTRODUCTION
  WHAT YOU NEED TO PLAY
  PERSONAL PRONOUNS IN NUELOW PRODUCTS
  CHARACTER GENERATION
  COMBAT
  SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES (STD)
  EQUIPMENT
  FRANKENWOOFER UNIVERSITY (F.U.): A "HORNDOGS!" CAMPAIGN SETTING
  ADVENTURES FOR "HORNDOGS!"
  THE OBLIGATORY "WHAT IS A ROLE-PLAYING GAME" SECTION
       If you need to ask, "What is a role-playing game?", then this
  is not the game for you. Sure, the rules are mind-numbingly simple
  and the humor is sophomoric, but we don't think you'll get it if
  you don't know what you're looking at.
       To learn what a role-playing game is, we recommend you pick up
  a copy of TSR's DUNGEONS & DRAGONS (D&D) RULES CYCLOPEDIA. It's a
  complete role-playing game that'll teach you all the basics about
  the collaborating on imaginary worlds as players and GMs. When
  you've had your fill of D&D, come back and see us.
       By the way, the plug for D&D is unsolicited, and possibly
  unwanted. If TSR wants to sue, we are ready to settle out of court;
  Steve Miller will award the company any three of his 10 cats
  (except Misse... he can't part with her) for which it will promise
  to provide a good home. In all honesty, we think D&D is truly a
  cool game system and it is vastly superior to that game with the
  word "Advanced" in its name. 
  *PAGE TWO*
  INTRODUCTION
       Like most NUELOW games, this one has been designed with an eye
  toward the simple fact that regardless of the type of
  role-playing game that is being played, the characters will,
  eventually, engage in lecherous behavior. Most game systems fail to
  acknowledge this, so GMs have to rely on their limited experience
  with lechery to give the characters what they want. That is, after
  all, the only way to please the character's player, and isn't that 
  what the game is ultimately all about? NUELOW simply begins where
  most games end up, pandering to the baser and sillier impulses of
  players and GMs alike by providing all the rules needed for gaming
  situations of a more intimate and sophomoric kind.                
  DISCLAIMER
       It is not our intention to encourage promiscuity and
  debauchery among gamers. This product line is simply a response to 
  the many gamers who like to "play house" with imaginary people
  while sitting around a table with a room full of others. NUELOW is
  a way to ensure that everyone's playing the same game. We provide
  the framework; you, if you must, provide the dirty mind.          
       The NUELOW Desing Team is very much aware that many gamers are
  impressionable children, and, as parents and/or uncles ourselves,
  know the importance of providing young children with entertainment
  that displays sound values. For this reason, there is nothing in
  2 of 27
  
  any of the NUELOW series that couldn't make it onto prime-time
  television, or hasn't been approved by SMOSM (Steve Miller's Overly
  Sensitive Mother).
  WHAT YOU NEED TO PLAY "HORNDOGS!"
       You've already got all the rules right here in this book. Now,
  you need at least one six-sided die, some friends, a pencil or two,
  and some paper to write your character up on. Oh, and munchies.
  Don't forget the munchies.
  Using "Horndogs!" with other NUELOW products.
       NUELOW is almost unique among universal game systems... it's
  actually universal. Each NUELOW gamebook and supplemental rules-set
  is written with full compatibility in mind, so mixing settings
  presents no problem. If the players and GM want to have fairies
  party with the fratboys, then it's only a question of generating
  characters with the rules in "Fairies!". Likewise, a group of
  fratboys and football players may stumble upon a dimensional vortex
  and find themselves facing off against the Enforcers of Hansland.
  NUELOW is, after all, a fantasy role-playing game, and we're trying
  to provide a system that will accommodate whatever the GMs and
  players can dream up.
  PERSONAL PRONOUNS IN NUELOW PRODUCTS
       Since the designers and editors of this series find "he" and
  "she" equally offensive, oppressive, exclusionary, etc., all
  characters in NUELOW will be referred to as "it" (except in those
  cases where the character's sex is clear from the context).
  CHARACTER GENERATION
       "Horndogs!" is all about adventures on the modern day college
  campus as you find it portrayed in such classic films as "Animal
  House" and "Revenge of the Nerds," but this material also can be
  used to recreate the characters and situations on the hit
  night-time show "Beverly Hills 90210." In other words, we're
  encouraging players and GMs to enter a world populated by college
  campus stereotypes. 
       Players choose from six different types from which they build
  their characters, most of which whom living off mommy and daddy or
  sports scholarships while trying to squeeze a little classwork into
  their demanding schedules of getting the most out of their college
  experience.
       Character-types featured in this gamebook are the Frat Boys,
  Jocks, Sorority Girls, Cheerleaders, Dorm Dorks and Suffering Art
  Students. GMs and players are encouraged to invent their own
  character types besides the ones we provide.
  Character Points
       All characters start with 40 character points, which are used
  to "build" a basic character through buying Attribute Ratings,
  Skills, and Advantages. The points may be split between these three
  categories as the player sees fit. The beginning total may be
  increased by taking disadvantages, which may only be taken at
  creation, unless the GM rules otherwise.
       As the character parties its way through college, the GM
  awards additional character points. Players who are close friends
  of the GM get lots of points. Everyone else gets shafted. These
  points are applied, just like the first 40 were, toward improving
  Attributes or Skills, buying new Skills and Advantages, and
  "buying-off" disadvantages. All of these rules are explained
  in depth later.                                                   
  3 of 27
  
  Attribute Ratings
       All NUELOW characters have seven attributes: Strength,
  Agility, Looks, Intelligence, Personality, Health, and Pain
  Threshold. Attributes are rated on a scale of 1-15:
  Attribute Rating         Cost Per Point       Level
  1-3                      1                    Attribute Impaired 
  4-7                      3                    Average  
  8-10                     10                   Exceptional
  11-12                    30                   Legendary     
  13-15                    60                   Divine
       Attributes are a measure of a character's natural aptitude in
  certain areas. Characters who attempt a difficult or dangerous
  action roll two six-sided dice, or one six-sided die twice, adding
  the results and checking them against the appropriate Attribute
  Rating. If the number is equal to or less than the Attribute
  Rating, the character is successful. If the attempt fails, the GM
  is at liberty to decide what the result is. Each character can
  perform one action per round, unless the GM or the rules say
  otherwise. 
       The GM may also apply modifiers to any checks. (Attribute
  Rating checks are discussed further under "Skills.") 
       Attribute Ratings of zero or one, while possible, are not
  recommended. Not only will such ratings result in automatic failure
  if skill checks are called for, but other players tend to make fun
  of them.
       Strength: A measure of the character's ability to inflict
  damage upon another character while exchanging blows, or how much
  it can lift and/or carry. The maximum load a character can handle
  is equal to its Strength Rating times 10 pounds. Equipment 
  weights are given in pounds. For every 15 pounds the character is
  over its encumbrance limit, its movement rate is cut by one-third.
  When punching other characters, or attacking with blunt or edged  
  hand-held weapons, the character has the following modifiers to
  damage inflicted (results of zero or less do no damage):          
  Strength Rating               Damage Modifier          
  0-3                           -2        
  4-7                           0         
  8-10                          +1        
  11-12                         +2        
  13-15                         +4   
       Agility: This reflects the character's natural coordination. 
  Anything from rollerblading to eating a bowl of Jello-brand       
  gelatin-cubes ("Jigglers!") with a spoon would be checked against
  Agility. The Agility-rating also allows the characters to dodge
  hand-to-hand (or kick) attacks, if half or less of the rating is
  rolled on two six-sided dice.
       Looks: This is the character's physical attractiveness to any
  species that could possibly be affected by it. The Looks Rating
  modifies the Personality Rating so:     
  Looks Rating             Personality Rating Modifier   
  0-3                      -3   
  4-7                      0    
  8-10                     +1   
  11-12                    +3   
  13-15                    +6
       The modifiers represent the first-impression reactions that  
  characters with bad or good looks get from the surrounding world.
  4 of 27
  
  They may be negated (GM's option) once characters get to know each
  other.
       Intelligence: This reflects the character's ability to
  understand abstract ideas, adapt to unexpected situations, and find
  their way out of a paper bag should the need arise. Further, the
  Intelligence Rating allows the character to see through subterfuge 
  (on a successful check, of course). The Intelligence Rating also
  modifies the Personality Rating.   
  Intelligence Rating      Personality Rating Modifier   
  0-3                      -2   
  4-7                      0    
  8-10                     0    
  11-12                    +1   
  13-15                    -3
       Readers will note that at either extreme on the scale is a
  negative modifier. Again, this reflects first impressions, since
  the general public is not likely to react kindly to someone who
  constantly drools, or a character whose first words are: "I am the
  Lord, thy God." On the other hand, the positive modifier reflects
  the fact that mid-level geniuses (like NUELOW players) have their
  own special brand of charm.
       Personality: This is how commanding the character's presence
  is, and how well it relates to other characters. Most attempts at
  social interaction with any depth are checked against this
  attribute. (A character looking for a one-night stand would check
  against Looks, but a character looking for marriage would check
  against Personality.)
       Health: This is a measure of how much physical punishment a
  character can take, and how well it can resist and/or recover from
  illnesses. When the Health Rating goes to zero from non-lethal
  attacks (fists, certain toxins, over-exertion, etc.), the        
  character goes unconscious. When the Health Rating goes to zero
  from lethal attacks (switchblades, shotguns, being thrown from a
  great height, etc.), the character is dead. Non-lethal damage is
  recovered at the rate of 1 point per hour, or 2 points per hour of
  total rest. Lethal damage is recovered at the rate of 1 point per
  day if properly cared for (by someone with the Healing Skill), 1
  point per week if left unattended. Dead characters do not recover
  damage--they just decompose.
       Pain Threshold: This measures how well a character endures
  physical punishment. Whenever a character suffers 3 points or more
  damage in one round, it must make a check against its Pain
  Threshold Rating. A failed check means the character has fainted
  from unbearable agony. Honorable or merciful opponents will refrain
  from attacking (or whatever) the character. 
  Other Character Traits
  Advantages
       Most advantages are things characters are born with, but a few
  others are achieved through training. Players can spend their
  character points on them.
       Attractive Appearance: The player rolls a six-sided die and
  adds the result to the character's Looks Attribute Rating. This
  advantage costs 3 points, regardless of what the player rolls.
       Boyish Looks: The character is lightly built with fine facial
  features. Characters who have this advantage receive a -1 modifier
  on Attribute Rating checks when Cross-dressing, but the slight
  5 of 27
  
  androgynous appearance results in a +1 penalty on Seduction
  attempts. This advantage may not be paired with the Busty or Well
  Hung advantages, and costs 1 point.
       Busty (women only): The character has a chest that reminds
  on-lookers of Dolly Parton. This advantage provides a -1 modifier
  on Seduction attempts, and a +2 penalty to Dodging. This advantage
  may not be paired with Boyish Looks, and costs 2 points.
       Cerebrally Gifted: The player rolls a six-sided die and adds 
  the result to the character's Intelligence Attribute Rating. This
  advantage costs 3 points regardless of the number rolled.         
       Double-jointed: The character receives -1 to all Agility
  Attribute Checks and Agility-based skill checks. This advantage   
  costs 3 points.
       Eye-Hand Coordination: Negates "called-shot" penalties while
  the character is using ranged weapons. This advantage costs 4
  points.
       High Pain Threshold: The player rolls a six-sided die and adds
  the result to the character's Pain Threshold Attribute Rating. This
  advantage costs 3 points, regardless of what the player rolls.
       High Tolerance to Alcohol: The character can drink most other
  characters under the table. For every 30 minutes of drinking, the
  character must make a Health Attribute Check with a -2 modifier to
  the roll. If the check is successful, the character remains
  unaffected and unintoxicated. In fact, the character gains +1 to
  its Personality Rating due to the lowered inhibitions from the
  slight buzz. However, for each failed check, the alcohol affects
  the character as follows:              
       First Failed Health Attribute Check: +1 to Personality Rating;
  -1 to Agility and Intelligence Ratings. The Hand-Eye Coordination 
  advantage is negated.
       Second Failed Health Attribute Check: +1 to Strength and Pain
  Threshold Ratings; -2 to Agility, Intelligence, and Personality   
  Ratings. Intoxicated characters automatically fail any Seduction
  attempts on sober characters, but receive -2 on the Attribute Check
  against characters who are also intoxicated.  Characters at this
  stage of drunkeness are also automatically Seduced by sober
  characters who make a successful Seduction Skill Check against
  them.
       Third Failed Health Attribute Check: +1 to Strength Rating, +2
  to Pain Threshold Rating; -3 to Agility, Intelligence, and
  Personality Ratings. Characters with Sexual Prowess automatically
  fail the Skill Check. Hitting targets (stationary or otherwise)
  with ranged weapons is impossible.
       Fourth Failed Health Attribute Check: Unconscious for an
  amount of hours as dictated by the roll of one six-sided die. When
  the character wakes up, it feels ill and sluggish (3 non-lethal
  points of Health damage), has a throbbing headache (-2 to
  Intelligence Rating and -1 to Agility Rating), and generally feels
  hung-over. All modifiers are cumulative. 
       Frat Boys with this advantage tend to use it to put notches in
  their bedposts in a less-than-honorable and manly fashion. This   
  advantage costs 6 points.
       Keen Senses: Upon making a successful Intelligence Attribute
  check, the character can pick out strange sounds or smells, thus
  lowering its chance of being ambushed. During sex, this advantage
  lets a character know if its partner is truly being fulfilled, or
  just "faking it." This advantage costs 2 points.
  6 of 27
  
       Musical Talent: Allows the character to play instruments not 
  selected under the Skill "Play Musical Instrument" with only +3 to
  the Attribute Check. Further, the character receives a -2 bonus to
  any attempts at Seducing another through music. This advantage
  costs 4 points.
       Poker Face: The character excels at concealing its emotions.
  As the title implies, this advantage aids the character in card
  games, to the tune of -2 on Gambling Skill checks. In certain
  tricky role-playing situations, such as when a character is
  negotiating with an enemy, or conversing the morning after ("Of   
  course I still respect you."), the player may fall back on a die  
  roll against its Personality Attribute rating. This advantage costs
  3 points. 
       Robust Health: The player rolls a six-sided die and adds the 
  result to the character's Health Attribute Rating. This advantage 
  costs 4 points, regardless of what the player rolls.
       Status: This advantage adds to a character's Looks Attribute
  rating or its Personality Attribute rating. A character may either
  add 1d6 to its Looks rating or add +1 to its Personality Rating.
  (Frat Boys, Jocks, and Dorm Dorks generally choose Looks, while
  Sorority Girls and Cheerleaders generally choose Personality.) This
  advantage costs 3 points.
       Well-hung (men only): This character can look impressive in
  jeans without using a cucumber and receives -1 to Seduction attempt
  rolls. This advantage may not be paired with Boyish Looks, and
  costs 2 points.
  Disadvantages
       Taking disadvantages can provide extra character points. GMs
  should try to place characters in situations where their
  disadvantages might come into play. (Don't overdo it, though.)
  Certain disadvantages have Attribute-bases and modifiers listed.
  The modifiers are added to the character's roll when it checks to
  avoid letting weakness get the best of it. There might be some of
  these disadvantages that characters don't want to resist, of
  course. GMs shouldn't force players to roll if they want their
  characters to engage in certain generally unacceptable behaviors.
       Characters may spend points to negate disadvantages as they
  earn points. When a character has "repaid" the points it earned
  from taking the disadvantage, it is "cured" of whatever the
  weakness was.
       Alcoholism (Intelligence-based, +2): Whenever the character is
  presented with alcohol or finds itself in a stressful situation, it
  must make a check to see if it turns to the bottle. If the        
  Attribute check is failed, the character drinks until it passes out
  or is prevented from drinking by other characters. The alcoholic 
  character, however, doesn't want to be stopped. For every 30
  minutes of drinking, a Health Attribute check must be made, and for
  each failed check, the character progresses deeper into a state of
  drunkeness.  Game details on this state can be found under the
  "High Tolerance to Alcohol" advantage. This disadvantage is worth
  4 points. 
       Cerebrally Challenged: The character's Intelligence Attribute
  Rating can't exceed 3 until the disadvantage has been "repaid."
  This disadvantage may not be taken by characters with the
  Cerebrally Gifted advantage, and is worth 4 points.
       Commitments: This disadvantage is representative of the
  character having other things to do. The character is a single
  7 of 27
  
  parent or has an infirm parent or needs to spend a lot of time at
  practice and/or rehearsal, or actually needs to work for the money
  to pay rent, food, and tuition. The exact nature and number of    
  commitments are something for the player to suggest for GM
  approval. At least once per game session, a roll must be made on a
  six-sided to decide if the commitment will get in the way of the
  character's educational experiences; on a roll of 6, the character
  will be out of play for 1-6 hours of game time. Characters with
  this disadvantage receive a -1 penalty to their Personality Rating
  when dealing with overly social creatures like Frat Boys and
  Sorority Girls, because from their perspective, if it can't party
  whenever, it has screwed-up priorities. This disadvantage is worth
  5 points.
       Cowardly (Intelligence-based +1): When faced with danger, the
  character must make an Attribute Check or flee. This disadvantage
  is worth 3 points.
       Delicate Stomach (Health-based +1): Most foods give the
  character heartburn and/or gas, which can lead to embarrassing
  social situations. After each meal or alcoholic beverage, the
  character must make a successful Health Attribute check or suffer
  a gas attack. Flatulence results in a +3 penalty to all social
  skills and an automatic failure to Seduction attempts. This
  disadvantage is worth 3 points.
       Depressed (Personality-based, +1): The character is constantly
  wallowing in self-pity and/or thinks the world is treating it
  unfairly and there is nothing it can do about it. Because of this,
  the character needs to make a Personality Attribute check as soon
  as it encounters another character or group of characters. If the
  check is failed, the character will either mug and sneer at the
  others, or burst into tears, relieved to finally have a sympathetic
  shoulder to cry on (whether or not the shoulder is truly
  sympathetic).
       Additionally, if the character is involved in a relationship,
  it needs to make a Personality check before getting out of bed
  every day. Should the check fail, the character is plunged into
  dark depression and is unable to get out of bed because it is
  convinced that its beloved doesn't return the feelings. 
       Heart of Gold (Intelligence-based, +3): The character has an
  over-developed mother-instinct (whether the character is male or
  female), but lacks the common sense to counteract it. It is always
  giving the people in its life money/shelter/favors/food on demand,
  while feeding stray dogs and writing Remedial English papers for
  Jocks. At GM's option, the Heart of Gold modifier may be applied to
  attempts at resisting Seduction. This disadvantage is worth 4
  points.
       Inferiority Complex: The character feels insecure or unworthy.
  Whether this comes from being weaned too early or not getting a
  date to the Senior Prom is anybody's guess. The character's
  Personality Attribute can't exceed 4 until the disadvantage has
  been "repaid," and all Seduction attempts are made at +2. This
  disadvantage is worth 6 points. 
       Klutzy: The character's Agility can't exceed 3 until the
  disadvantage has been "repaid." This disadvantage is worth 10
  points.
       Self-Centered (Personality-based): The character needs to roll
  a Personality Attribute check with a +1 modifier when interacting
  socially. Should the check fail, the character rattles on
  obnoxiously about itself, and otherwise hogs the proceedings until
  8 of 27
  
  everyone else has left the area. However, if the interacting
  parties both have Self-Centered as a disadvantage, then +1 is     
  added to their Personality rating while interacting with each
  other. (It has been scientifically proven that no one can stand
  being with a self-centered person very long unless they are too
  self-centered themselves to have any idea that the other person is
  self-centered.) This disadvantage is worth 3 points.          
       Sense of Honor: The character never attacks a foe who is down,
  unarmed, or otherwise ill-equipped to defend itself. It always
  "call outs" opponents, and it never cheats at games. This
  disadvantage is worth 3 points.
   
       Same-sex preference, male or female (Intelligence-based, +2):
  This disadvantage is only allowed for Frat Boys and Jocks, and then
  only if it's a same-sex preference. (While other characters may
  possess this disadvantage, they do not receive any character points
  for it, since it is not considered a disadvantage.)  Should other
  Frat Boys or Jocks know of the character's sexual preference, it
  receives automatic penalties to social Attribute Checks           
  (Personality-based skills, primarily). Female jocks with a same-sex
  preference have a +3 penalty to Personality Attribute Checks, while
  male Jocks and Frat Boys have a +4 penalty. This disadvantage is
  worth 5 points.
   
       Sexual preference, animal (Intelligence-based, +1):
  Self-explanatory, but not allowed for Frat Boys (this might be
  considered an advantage for Frat Boys, particularly during Rush).
  The character's player may choose the animal. If any characters
  (except for Frat Boys) discover the character's sexual preference,
  it receives an automatic +4 penalty to all Personality-based skill
  checks. This disadvantage is worth 10 points.
   
       Sickly: The character's Health can't exceed 3 until the
  disadvantage has been "repaid." This disadvantage is worth 7
  points.
       Vengeful (Intelligence-based, +5): The character wants to hurt
  something... anything. When the character takes damage or is
  embarrassed, it must pursue the attacker or offender, intent on
  beating the crap of it, until the pursuit is obviously hopeless   
  (GM's call, or another Intelligence check at +3 to the Attribute
  Rating). This disadvantage is worth 3 points.
  Skills
       To successfully use a skill, a character must make a check (on
  two six-sided dice) against the appropriate attribute. Further,
  character points can be used to improve skills. There are four
  skill levels, and it costs 2 character points to buy a first-level 
  skill. The price goes up from there, but at higher levels, the
  character receives a bonus to Attribute Checks, a negative modifier
  on the roll. On the other hand, a character has a penalty for
  attempting to perform an action in which it isn't skilled. GMs
  should use their judgment in determining the results of a failed
  check, and even if a desired action can be performed without the
  required without the skill. 
  Skill Level         Point Cost          Bonus to Attribute Checks
  0 (Clueless)        0                   +4   
  1 (Novice)          2                   0    
  2 (Hobbyist)        4                   -2   
  3 (Professional)    8                   -4   
  4 (Wrote the Book)  16                  -6
       Characters may attempt to use more than one skill per round.
  9 of 27
  
  All checks must be successful for the desired effects to come
  about, and often all Attribute Bonuses should be added to one or
  both checks. Common sense (as interpreted by the GM) should be
  applied.
       Acting (Personality-based): The character is a convincing liar
  and can recite Shakespeare without sounding like a dweeb. Skill
  bonuses can be applied to Seduction attempts.
       Artistic Ability (Agility-based): The character can draw,
  paint or sculpt works of art of questionable quality. The player
  chooses what kind of visual art the character practices, and a
  different skill must be purchased for each type.
       Butt-kicking (Strength-based): This skill is useful for a
  variety of things. Jocks can use this skill to perform a phenomenal
  feat of athleticism in their respective sports. Otherwise, anytime
  a character with this skill wants to kick someone's butt and
  totally humiliate them and make them feel like garbage, it just
  needs to roll under its Strength Rating to accomplish this. If,  
  however, the other character also has this skill, then whoever
  misses its roll first gets its butt kicked.
       Cheating (Intelligence-based): This skill allows character to
  cheat successfully on quizzes and tests. The GM may wish to apply
  penalties depending on the importance of the test. A straight roll
  (without skill modifiers) under the character's Intelligence
  Attribute Rating results in an "A."
       Cheating (Personality-based): Through strength of personality,
  a character may try to hoodwink others while playing games of
  chance. If the player has the appropriate Gambling skill, the
  modifiers from both skills are applied to Attribute Checks. If the
  character doesn't know the game, a roll with a +3 modifier against
  the character's Personality Attribute may be made to check victory.
  Other characters (if they possess the Gambling skill) receive an
  Intelligence check to see if they catch on to the cheating.  
       Climbing (Agility-based): The character can perform simple
  actions such as climbing a drain pipe or a tree without needing to
  make Attribute Checks. More difficult climbing surfaces, such as a
  sheer cliff face or an icy incline, can be scaled with the proper
  equipment and a successful Agility check.                         
       Computer Use (Intelligence-based): This is how savvy a
  character is with one of the primary tools on the modern college
  campus. At Skill Level 1, a character is familiar with the use of
  one or two kinds of software, while at Skill Level 4, a character
  can write complex programs and crack its way into protected files
  and databases. The GM needs to determine what tasks a character can
  perform between these two extremes at Skill Levels 2 and 3.
       Cooking (Intelligence-based): The character can prepare a
  certain type of meals, as chosen by the player. At Skill Level 1,
  a character can read the instructions on pre-packaged foods and
  figure out how to use the microwave, but at Skill Level 4, it can
  prepare entire, tasty meals from scratch. A separate skill must be
  purchased for each type of cuisine. A failed Skill Check means the
  meal is ill-prepared, ranging from too spicy or bland to inedible.
  The GM decides how bad the meal is (based perhaps on how badly the
  check was failed) and what effects it has on the diners. (Food
  poisoning is a major turn-off. If the cooking character was trying
  to test the adage that the way to a creature's heart is through its
  stomach, any following Seduction attempt is made with a +3 penalty
  to the dice roll.) 
  10 of 27
  
       Anyone successfully cooking for a Jock will, when word gets
  around, receive a modifier of -1 on all checks when interacting
  socially with the Jock (as well as an effective +1 to the
  Personality Attribute Rating).            
       Cross-dressing (Intelligence-based): This skill enables a
  character to dress like and mimic gender traits of the opposite
  sex, such as body movements, etc. It's great for use on a Frat Boy
  or Jock by vengeful Dorm Dorks with a camera.
       Dancing (Agility-based): The character knows a variety of
  dance styles, ranging from clogging to formal dance. (GMs may rule
  that characters are familiar with dance types particular to only
  one cultural group per skill slot devoted to dancing.) Characters
  with this skill may apply any relevant Attribute Bonus to Seduction
  attempts, if the two skills are being used in conjunction.
       Dodge Responsibility (Personality-based): The character has an
  uncanny knack for talking its way out of performing duties or
  chores and for shifting blame when something goes wrong. Authority
  figures on whom this skill is being used receive an Intelligence
  Attribute Check, modified by the character's skill bonuses, to
  resist being hoodwinked. 
       Dodging (Agility-based): This skill increases the effective
  Agility Attribute Rating for purposes of dodging hand-to-hand and
  ranged attacks by half (round up). Unless paired with a successful
  Unarmed Combat Skill check, however, the dodging character's chance
  to strike targets while dodging is also reduced by half.
       Gambling (Intelligence-based): For each skill-slot devoted
  Gambling, the character is familiar with common games of a specific
  type. Card games (such as Strip Poker), board games (such as Strip
  Checkers), and dice games (such as Strip Craps) each require      
  different skill slots. A game of chance or skill can be simulated
  quickly by rolling dice with the high roll winning the game.  If
  the GM chooses, this skill can also be used for role-playing games.
  (In which case, the character can play Strip NUELOW.)
       First Aid (Intelligence-based): The character knows human
  anatomy ("No, I'm pretty certain both feet are supposed to point in
  the same direction...") and has a passing familiarity with home
  remedies and bandaging wounds. A successful check will cure 2
  points of non-lethal damage or 1 point of lethal damage. This may
  only be attempted once on each group of wounds. The character with 
  this skill may only use it to cure non-lethal damage on itself.   
       Macgyverism (Intelligence-based): This skill allows the
  character to accomplish anything that the player can even halfway
  convince the referee is possible, whether it is or not. (I.e.,    
  Eugene the Dorm Dork magnifies the sun's light through his
  binocular lens into his parabolic receptacle -- consisting of the 
  headlight mirror from his dorky Chevy Sprint -- reflecting the
  energy with the rear-view mirror of the aforementioned Chevy, thus
  heating the ejector port of the shotgun that is resting against the
  back of the Frat Boy's truck near the gas tank, thus causing the
  shells in the shotgun to discharge and explode the aforementioned
  gas tank while the unsuspecting Frat Boy is trying to get it on
  with the witless Cheerleader he talked into going grouse hunting
  with him. Get the picture?)
       Math (Intelligence-based): The character can do calculations
  that exceed the number of fingers and toes it possesses, as well as
  simple multiplication and division. At Skill Level 4, the character
  can solve complex equations. This skill is free at Skill Level 1
  11 of 27
  
  for all characters generated with the "Horndogs!" rules.
       Play Musical Instrument (Personality-based): This skill
  enables the character to play a musical instrument without
  embarrassing itself, unless the Attribute Check is failed. (Then,
  the results can be quite embarrassing... GMs choice.) For each
  instrument the character wishes to play, it must buy a different
  Play Musical Instrument skill.
       Reading/Writing (Intelligence-based): The character can read
  and write a language specified by the player. A separate skill is
  required for each language the character can read/write. (GMs may
  choose to apply this skill toward spoken language as well, but it
  is recommended that all characters get at least one spoken language
  free. This is, after all, not NUELOW "Hominids!") This skill is
  free at Skill Level 1 for all characters generated with the
  "Horndogs!" rules.
       Rollerblading (Agility-based): The character can travel
  downhill at absurd speeds on inline skates without killing itself.
       Rope Use (Agility-based): The character knows how to make a
  variety of knots -- from bows, to slip-knots, to knots that hold
  tightly. In "Horndogs!", this skill may be used to augment the
  Sexual Prowess skill.
       Seduction (Looks-based): The character may attempt to use a
  variety of techniques, mental and physical, to sway one or more
  other characters who have even the faintest attraction to the
  seducer to perform... uh, services and favors for it. The nature of
  these services is up to the seducer. A seduced creature can perform
  no actions (other than perhaps kiss or fondle the seducer) for the
  first round of seduction. On subsequent rounds, the character
  always acts last. 
       A target may roll against its Intelligence score if it wishes
  to attempt to resist the seduction attempt. The following modifiers
  apply to the character's check to resist being seduced:
  Intelligence Modifier              Mitigating Circumstance       
  -3                                 Giving in will be dangerous   
  -2                                 Seducer is personal enemy     
  -1                                 Seducer attacked target prior
  +1                                 Eye contact with seducer       
  +2                                 Physical contact with seducer 
  +3                                 No negatives from succumbing  
  +4                                 Expects pleasure beyond dreams 
       Modifiers are cumulative where one or more applies. There are
  many other circumstances that might result in modifiers, and GMs  
  should use their best judgment in the individual situations. 
       Once the player determines if the character has succeeded or
  failed to seduce a target, GM and player are encouraged to
  role-play through the events that follow. However, should the
  creative font be dry, a roll on a six-sided checked against the
  appropriate table might inspire an idea or two for excitement in
  and out of bed:                                                   
  Successful Check                        Failed Check
  1. Will do anything, right here,        1. Roll on success chart; 
     right now.                              add 2.
  2. As #1, but sex acts must be          2. Agrees to sex out of
     in private.                             fear/pity.             
  3. Saving self for marriage, but        3. Punches seducer, leaves.
     a second  successful check yields                           
     result, as per #1.  If the second
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     attempt fails, result as per #3 on 
     failure chart.                       
  4. Is a maniac who imprisons partner    4. Hits seducer, cries for 
     after a night of amazing sex.           help.
  5. Result similar to #2, but the        5. Gravely offended.      
     target is married. GM rolls one         Friends of the target
     six-sided die, and if the result        ambush seducer later.
     is 6, the spouse shows up as the 
     seducer and seduced are making love.
  6. Result similar to #2, but the        6. Cries rape and attacks 
     target is actually of a gender          to sever appendage.
     opposite of the apparent. (Skill                               
           *
     Level 3 in Cross-dressing.)
       Once a character has been seduced, it will always be
  susceptible to the wiles of that particular seducer -- to the tune
  of +1 to the Intelligence Attribute check, +3 if the seduction
  resulted in carnal delights.
       Additionally, if a seduction attempt against a "professional"
  (hookers, escorts, etc.) is successful, it will only charge half
  normal rates if a 1 is rolled on a six-sided die. Likewise, the
  "professional" will charge twice normal if 1-3 is rolled following
  a failed attempt.  (See "Professional" in the Creature section.)
       Set Traps (Intelligence-based): Useful to most college
  characters when trashing, humiliating, or getting revenge on other
  characters. The details of the trap are up to the character, but an
  Attribute check at +2 is required to construct an effective,
  well-concealed trap that won't be discovered until it has already
  been sprung.
       Sexual Prowess (Agility-based): One of the rare social skills
  that Dorm Dorks are better at than Frat Boys and Jocks. Also,
  Cheerleaders tend to exhibit this skill more than Sorority Girls.
  (Dorm Dorks have little else to do in the dorms than practice this
  skill, and excelling in this field is one way Cheerleaders validate
  themselves.) It perhaps goes without saying, but there are few    
  skills more embarrassing to fail an Attribute check for than Sexual
  Prowess. Strength modifiers may be applied to the check at the GM's
  option. Possibly, a Health and/or Pain Threshold Attribute Check
  might be necessary for particularly strenuous, extended, or unusual
  bouts of whoopee. (At any rate, Strength Ratings are used to decide
  who's on top if there's a dispute...) 
       At the GM's option, characters with Sexual Prowess may
  subtract their Agility Attribute bonus from attempts to resist
  seduction.
       
       Singing (Personality-based): The character can carry a tune,
  and quite well on a successful Skill Check. When used in
  conjunction with Seduction and/or Play Musical Instrument, all
  skill bonuses from successful Attribute Checks may be applied to
  the other skill roll. 
       Skiing (Agility-based): This skill lets the character strap a
  pair of modified boards to its feet and travel more easily on the
  snow across an open area, or go flying down a steep mountainside
  like a suicidal maniac.                                           
       Weapon Use (Variable): Each weapons skill must be bought
  separately. See "Equipment" for available weapons, and the
  Attributes checked for their usage. Each additional level         
  purchased in a Weapon Use category gives the character -1 on     
  to-hit checks.
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       Wrestling (Agility-based): Used by Frat Boys and Jocks to
  trash Dorm Dorks. Occasionally used by Sorority Girls to humiliate
  Dorm Dorks. The character with this skill is familiar with
  techniques that will hold a target in place, once the character has
  successfully hit the target. The wrestler can choose to pin a
  target in place or tear a small object (jewelry, a piece of
  clothing) from the target's body. (Thus, this skill might be
  applicable to sexual situations.) The target may not attack while
  held, but may try to squirm free on a successful Agility check at
  +2. The target may, of course, attack at will if the wrestler chose
  not to hold it.
  Character Types
       This probably goes without saying, but all "Horndogs!"
  characters are human. If you need us to describe what a "human" is,
  we suggest you put this gamebook aside, burn all your other
  role-playing games, comic books, computer games, and "Star Trek"
  novels, and go for a walk. Take a bus ride. Go to the grocery
  store. All those people in all those different shapes and sizes,
  those are humans. The characters in this game will bear a striking
  resemblance to one of them, possibly even you. Okay, now that is
  settled, and we can get on with the character types...
       The first step in determining a character type is to choose
  its sex (male or female). Some character types in "Horndogs!" are
  mostly defined by their sex, but this need not be the case. (A male
  character with the Boyish Looks advantage and the Cross-dressing
  skill might be able to pass himself off as a Sorority Girl, and
  eventually end up recreating "M. Butterfly" on a college campus...
  particularly if the cross-dressing guy only hangs out with Frat
  Boys.) Ultimately, a character's sex is not really important in the
  open-minded environment of a university campus. However, a
  character's sexual orientation might be a different matter (see the
  "Sexual Preference" disadvantage).
       Secondly, the player needs to select a race for its character
  (Black, White, Hispanic, Native American, whatever). Again, this is
  not particularly important as long as the character is in the
  open-minded world of the university, but once it ventures
  off-campus it might find itself faced with all manner of
  discrimination and trouble for the color of its skin. 
       Thirdly, the player decides what character type he or she
  wants to play. Details on the various character types are found
  below.
       Regardless of type, all characters in "Horndogs!" receive the
  skills Reading/Writing and Math at Skill Level 1. (The Design Team
  here is taking the rosey world-view that a character must be able
  to spell its own name and count the zeroes in the national debt to
  get into college.) Additionally, each character receives one Skill
  Level free from a list of possibilities found under each character
  type (for some, this can result in a free Reading/Writing Skill
  Level 2). 
       Finally, the player must select an advantage and disadvantage
  for the character, also from a list found under each character type
  description. The player neither pays for nor receives points for
  these. (The reason for forcing the players to select certain skills
  for their characters is a similar mechanic to the occupational
  system in "Lust and Dust!". This game centers around college campus
  stereotypes, and making sure that each character has at least one
  of the traits that are associated with its type adds to the game's
  atmosphere.)
  Frat Boys (Male Only)
       The Frat Boys' interpretation of making the most of their
  college experience emphasizes getting laid by Sorority Girls,
  getting laid by Cheerleaders, and forging intimate and lasting
  friendships with their fraternity brothers by participating in
  14 of 27
  
  various ritualistic practices together, including: hazing,
  partying, trashing Dorm Dorks, scoring, and gentle anal probing.
       Selection of free Advantages for newly created Frat Boys:
  Attractive Appearance, High Tolerance to Alcohol, Status, or Well
  Hung.
       Selection of "free" Disadvantages for newly created Frat Boys:
  Alcoholism, Cowardly, Self-centered, or Sexual Preference, Animal.
       Selection of Skills for newly created Frat Boys: Cheating
  (choose type), Dodge Responsibility, Gambling, or Seduction.
  Jocks (Male or Female)
       The Jocks believe getting the most out of their college      
  experience means winning the conference championship in their
  respective sports, getting laid by Cheerleaders, getting laid by
  Frat Boys (most female Jocks), or Sorority Girls (most male Jocks),
  and forging intimate and lasting friendships with their team
  brothers or sisters by participating in various ritualistic
  practices together, including: hazing, partying, trashing Dorm
  Dorks, scoring, and circle jerks (males) or back-biting gossip
  about each other's sexual practices (females).
       Selection of free Advantages for newly created Jocks: Eye-Hand
  Coordination, High Pain Threshold, Robust Health, or Status.      
       Selection of "free" Disadvantages for newly created Jocks:
  Commitment (Team), Cerebrally Challenged, Sense of Honor, or 
  Vengeful.
       Selection of free skills for newly created Jocks:
  Butt-kicking, Climbing, Dodging, First Aid, Rollerblading, or     
  Skiing.
  Sorority Girls (Female Only)
       The Sorority Girls live for getting hold of a Frat Boy, and/or
  getting hold of a Jock, and/or getting hold of a Professor, and
  forging intimate and lasting friendships with their sorority
  sisters by participating in various ritualistic practices together,
  including: hazing, partying, humiliating Dorm Dorks, scoring, and
  back-biting gossip about each other's sexual practices.
       Selection of free Advantages for newly created Sorority Girls:
  Attractive Appearance, Busty, or Status.
       Selection of "free" Disadvantages for newly created Sorority
  Girls: Alcoholism, Cerebrally Challenged, or Self-centered.       
       Selection of free skills for newly created Sorority Girls:
  Cooking, Dancing, Dodge Responsibility, Rope Use, Seduction, Sexual
  Prowess, or Wrestling.
  Cheerleaders (Male or Female)
       The Cheerleaders' well-known mental prowess only allows them
  to focus on two goals, namely cheerleading and finding someone who
  can actually stomach being with them for anything other than
  seducing them, and following this person around all the time. (This
  generally means that Cheerleaders are found with other
  cheerleaders, or a really hard-up Jock.)                          
       Selection of free Advantages for newly created Cheerleaders:
  Attractive Appearance, Eye-Hand Coordination, Double-jointed, or
  Status.
       Selection of "free" Disadvantages for newly created
  Cheerleaders: Cerebrally Challenged, Commitment (Cheerleading),   
  Heart of Gold, or Same Sex Preference.                            
       Selection of free skills for newly created Cheerleaders:
  Dancing, Dodging, or Wrestling.
  Dorm Dorks (Male or Female)
       Dorm Dorks believe that making the most of their college
  experience includes getting good grade, graduating in a major that
  actually has an application in the real world, getting laid by
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  anything vaguely human and of the sex of their preferred partners,
  and surviving various ritualistic practices, including: mid-terms,
  finals, study groups, scheduling problems, financial aid problems,
  and being humiliated and trashed by Frat Boys, Jocks, and Sorority
  Girls. 
       Selection of free Advantages for newly created Dorm Dorks:
  Busty, Boyish Looks, Cerebrally Gifted, High Pain Threshold, High
  Tolerance to Alcohol, Musical Talent, Poker Face, Well Hung.
       Selection of "free" Disadvantages for newly created Dorm
  Dorks: Cowardly, Delicate Stomach, Klutzy, Inferiority Complex, or
  Sickly.
       Selection of free skills for newly created Dorm Dorks:
  Cheating (choose type), Computer Use, Gambling, MacGyverism, Math,
  Reading/Writing, Sexual Prowess, or Wrestling.
  Suffering Art Students (Male or Female)
       Suffering Art Students believe that they benefit from their
  time in college if their wardrobe is well-stocked with black
  clothes, star in at least one play/publish a poem in the Campus
  Literary Journal, open one one-(wo)man exhibit/show or sleep with
  one established performer and/or artist per term, spend at        
  least five nights a week in a coffeeshop or bar complaining how no
  one understands their bruised inner child, and find someone who can
  stand to be around them for more than five minutes at a time.
  (Suffering Art Students are often found with their own kind,
  complaining about how the rest of the campus is unworthy and
  unappreciative of the visionary talents they possess.)
       Selection of free Advantages for newly created Suffering Art
  Students: Boyish Looks, Double-jointed, Keen Senses, Musical
  Talent, or Poker Face.                                            
         
       Selection of "free" Disadvantages for newly created Suffering
  Art Students: Alcoholism, Cerebrally Challenged, Commitment (other
  Suffering Art Students involved with play/band/whatever or the
  players in the weekly "Angst: The Whining" role-playing game
  session), Depressed, Inferiority Complex, Self Centered, or Sickly.
       Selection of free skills for newly created Suffering Art
  Students: Acting, Artistic Ability, Cross-dressing, Dodge
  Responsibility, Play Instrument, Reading/Writing, Seduction, or
  Singing.
  Final Note on Character Types
       The six character types mentioned above only scratch the
  surface of the wide variety of people encountered on a college
  campus, and we encourage GMs and players to create player character
  options for all of them. Obvious player character type choices
  include Janitors, Non-traditional Students, Teaching Fellows,
  Professors, and Athletic Coaches. Ideas for other character types
  might be found in the "Creatures" section toward the end of this
  gamebook, although it might be best just to take a look around you.
       We also encourage GMs to use the species presented in
  "Fairies!" in this setting. Playtesting has shown that when fairies
  are unleashed in the campus setting, the end result is reminiscent
  of an ANIMANIACS episode.
  COMBAT
       While combat generally means hacking, slashing, and spreading
  as much carnage in as short time as possible, there are some NUELOW
  combat rules that apply to more intimate pursuits. As evident in
  some of the skills above, what is sometimes useful on the field of
  battle can also come in handy between the sheets...
  Basics
       The basis for all time-keeping in NUELOW games is the "round."
  16 of 27
  
  There are six seconds in one round, ten rounds in one minute, sixty
  minutes in one hour, 24 hours in one day (which, as we all know, is
  simply not enough) and so on, and so forth. Consult the calendar on
  your wall for additional details. Each player must declare what
  action the character will take that round, and the characters then
  take these actions from the highest to lowest Agility Attribute
  Ratings. A player may choose to hold a character's action until
  later in the round, but must call it as soon as actions have been
  declared for the character he or she was trying to shaft... uh,
  support.  Each character can perform at least one action per round,
  although GMs can rule that the character can do more or less, too.
  (It's a rare thing, though, when a character can't just lay still
  on the ground, unconscious, or just overcome by exhaustion...)
  Characters take actions in order of Agility Rating, those with the
  highest numbers acting first. If there are two or more characters 
  with the same Agility Rating, the order is as follows:
  1. In hand-to-hand (or kick) combat, the character with the highest
     Personality score acts first.
  2. Characters who are using a ranged, non-weapon attack (Seduction 
     attempts, etc.).                                               
  3. Characters who are in moving vehicles, but not in combat.
  4. Characters moving on foot, but not in combat.
  5. Characters wielding light/medium ranged weapons.
  6. Characters wielding heavy/large ranged weapons.
  7. Characters who are in vehicles and engaged in combat.          
  8. Characters using small melee weapons.
  9. Characters who are in vehicles, but attacking a target on foot.
  10. Characters using large melee weapons.
       Remember, seduced characters always act last, unless told
  otherwise by the seducer. 
       Attribute Ratings are also used to decide who controls the
  situation during close encounters of the carnal kind. Characters
  with the Sexual Prowess skill always act first in the round, but
  the Agility or Personality Ratings apply if both characters possess
  Sexual Prowess (GM's choice, depending on the situation). However,
  if the words "whips" and "chains" have come up (together or
  separately), Strength is most likely the Attribute to use.
  Characters that have been seduced into the situation will always
  act after the seducer, unless instructed to do otherwise. See
  "Attacking" for additional information.   
  Movement
       A character's full movement rate equals its combined Strength,
  Agility and Health Attribute bonuses in feet. The minimum full
  movement is always three, regardless of negative Attribute bonuses.
  Characters on the ground may choose to move less than their full
  movement rates, or not move at all. 
       It is possible for characters to move and attack at the same
  time, if they are within range (or reach) of each other. For each
  character that has declared movement during a turn, there is a +1
  cumulative to-hit penalty. In other words, two moving characters
  trying to hit each other with clubs would each add 2 to their
  Agility Attribute checks.
  Attacking
       Attacks are resolved whenever a character acts in a turn. To 
  hit, a character must roll a check against the Unarmed Combat Skill
  or against the Attribute Score for the weapon it is using, with
  appropriate Weapon Use Skill modifiers. If a character hits the
  target, apply the damage appropriate to the weapon being used
  (the attribute bases and damage for weapons are found under
  "EQUIPMENT") and any Strength Attribute bonuses/penalties.  The
  damage inflicted is subtracted from the target's Health Rating.   
  17 of 27
  
       A character may attack up to three targets in one round, if
  those targets are in melee combat. For each target attacked, during
  the round several attacks are being directed, a +1 penalty is added
  to the Weapon Use skill Attribute check. (+1 for the first target,
  +2 for the second, and +3 for the third.)
       Characters may choose to take "called shots." There is a +3
  to-hit penalty on "called shots," but extra damage is inflicted on
  successful hits, with vital areas subject to the greatest damage
  bonuses.
  Called-shot Location          Extra Damage        
  Head                          roll six-sided, apply result       
  Torso                         4 points       
  Arms                          2 points, +1 penalty on to-hit rolls
  Legs                          1 point, +2 penalty on relevant
                                  Agility checks, lower movement rate
                                  1/3 for each 5 points of "called
                                  shot" damage.
       Certain sexual situations might require to-hit rolls (Agility
  or Strength Attribute Checks). These include characters who are
  moving, characters who are in a boat on a storm-tossed sea, or
  characters trying to engage in sexual acts with an unwilling
  target.
  Attacking with Ranged Weapons
       The basic NUELOW mechanic for ranged weapons combat is the
  "line-of-sight" rule: if a character can see it, the character can
  hit it with ranged weapons. This rule is subject to GM rulings and
  common sense, but is essentially all that's needed to play. For
  more detail-minded players (or those without common sense), the
  following optional rules may be used: 
       Characters must still be able to see what they're shooting at,
  but to-hit rolls are modified by factors such as weapon size,
  distance to target, lighting conditions, and aiming time. Further,
  the modifiers mentioned under "Movement" may be applied as well. A
  ranged weapon is a device that hurls a projectile, such as a bow or
  a gun. A switchblade, a rock, a beer bottle, or any number of
  objects could conceivably be ranged weapons in a pinch. To keep
  combat simple, we recommend that any makeshift or unusual weapons
  automatically miss at anything but close range.
       The following chart lists the modifiers that apply to to-hit
  rolls for ranged weapons. The sizes of the weapons featured in the
  game can be found under "EQUIPMENT."
  Size of Weapon      Close Range    Medium Range   Long Range
  Small               -2             0              +3
  Medium              0              -3             -1
  Large               +2             +1             -3
  Close Range is considered 30 yards and less; Medium up to 100
  yards; and Long Range is to the maximum range of Line-of-Sight.
  GM's ruling and common sense also apply.
       Optionally, the GM might consider weather and lighting
  conditions during ranged attacks. Heavy snow and darkness add +1 to
  all to-hit rolls at Medium Range, and +3 to all Long Range        
  attempts. These modifiers are cumulative.
  Trampling Damage and Attacks
       In every "Horndogs!" character's life, the day arrives when it
  has to face a horde of beings that will trample it... either at a
  sporting event just as the home team has won 476 to 0, or as it   
  gets caught in the middle of a stampeding bunch of Dorm Dorks on
  18 of 27
  
  their way to the cafeteria for dinner. Such a situation presents a
  lot of trouble for the player character, but it poses even more
  problems to the GM. 
       Therefore, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, the
  following rules were created. (As long-time NUELOW players know,
  the Design Team is loathe to create new rules; we prefer to
  cut-and-paste from previous NUELOW products.) As always, we chose
  the generic approach, so "trampling" in the context of this game
  not only means being turned to hamburger by stampeding feet and
  hooves, but it also refers to ending up under wheels and 
  skids and treads on vehicles ranging from a child's sled to the
  bows of ships.
       Three values are of importance, when the characters are facing
  a stampede of whatever...: the difference of mass of the beings   
  involved; the difference in size of the beings involved; and
  finally the number of beings or vehicles doing the trampling. These
  three factors determine the amount of damage the character suffers.
  The base damage is determined by comparing the character's size and
  mass to the size and mass of one of the beings (or the average size
  and mass of different beings) in the opposing horde. Base damage
  found on the following table:                                     
                          Mass
            lower           equal           greater      
  Size                     
  smaller    -1/4            0/2              1/1        
  equal      0/2             1/1              2/1        
  greater    1/1             2/1              4/1
       The first number is the base amount of damage points the
  victim suffers. If the trampler's size and mass is equal to, or   
  greater than, the victim, the damage taken is lethal. The second
  number is the minimum amount of creatures required to cause that
  damage. If there are fewer creatures than that number, no damage is
  caused. From now on, this second number will be called the        
  threshold number. 
       Total damage is calculated by modifying the base damage
  according to the number of creatures trampling the character. The
  GM determines the number of creatures that are passing over (or
  ramming) the character's body, and each time the number of
  trampling creatures doubles, the damage received is increased by
  +1: If the threshold number is reached once, the character suffers
  base damage; if the threshold number is reached twice, it suffers
  base damage +1; if the threshold number is reached four times, it
  suffers base damage +2; if the threshold number is reached eight
  times, it suffers base damage +3; if the... (Okay, you get the
  idea.)
       All is not lost for the character about to become a puddle of
  gore, however. If the GM is merciful, the character being trampled
  can make an Agility Check to lower the damage incurred. On a
  successful check, it suffers but one-half damage (round down).
  SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES (STDs)
       Every time a character engages in sexual activity without
  using a latex condom there is a 1 in 6 chance that it will pick up
  a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD). Using a latex condom helps
  against getting an STD. However, as any number of real-life Frat
  Boys and Jocks will tell you, it also decreases the enjoyment of
  sex. When a character uses a condom, roll a six-sided die and check
  the following table:   
  1. Character uses a non-latex condom (such as lambskin) to increase
     the pleasure and must check for an STD anyway. (Was it worth   
     it?)
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  2-5. Latex condom does the job! No roll necessary for STD.
  6. Character has had the damn thing in its wallet so long that    
     besides leaving a permanent ring mark, it has worn small holes 
     in the condom. Character must check for STD.
  STD Checks
       A character rolls a six-sided die every time it engages in
  sexual activity without a condom or if a 1 or 6 is rolled on the
  condom table. If a 6 is rolled, the character checks the following
  chart for the severity of its affliction.
  1. A cold sore develops and lasts for a week. (Big deal, nothing  
     a lot of makeup can't fix, but still, technically Herpes.)     
  2-3. Character gets crabs. Must be treated by a doctor, takes 2-4 
      weeks after treatment begins to go away. (Painful and itchy,  
      but can be hidden from potential partners by nasty,           
      unscrupulous characters who still want to get their jollies.)
  4-5. Character gets a form of gonorrhea or syphilis that must be  
      treated by a doctor. Takes 1-2 months after treatment begins to
      go away. (Forget about it, this STD so obviously affects the  
      genitalia area of the character, it couldn't get laid if it   
      wanted to before getting cured.)                              
  6. AIDS. Sorry, we know it's a human tragedy, but kiss your       
     character good-bye.
       One last thing. If character gets any STD result other than 1
  and somehow the word gets out, the character has -6 permanently
  subtracted from its Personality roll as long as it remains in the
  same community. (AIDS results in a -10 modifier.)  Yes, in these
  cases the Attribute Ratings CAN go into negatives.
  EQUIPMENT
       This is the shortest equipment list in the NUELOW gamebooks so
  far. (Break out the champagne!) After all, you know full well     
  what's available to a college student in the latter quarter of the 
  20th century. Just give your character what you yourself presently
  own or owned while in college. It's really not that hard. 
       If you think it IS hard, turn to NL01-NL03 for equipment
  ideas. All the stuff in those gamebooks is acceptable... even if a
  Frat Boy would look a little weird in chainmail. 
       If you feel the need, a character's on-hand cash can be
  determined by rolling a six-sided die and multiplying it by 100.
  Equipment-wise, the only thing we'll address here is what weapons
  are available. 
       Ideally, "Horndogs!" characters shouldn't be gun-toting
  maniacs, but we know how much players like to inflict pain on the
  imaginary people in the game universe, so, as always, we pander to
  that. We'll leave it up to the individual GM to decide if, and how
  many, weapons the characters have.
       Also, each player needs to decide where his or her character
  lives (at its parents, in the frat or sorority house, its own
  apartment, or with a bunch of roommates). The only characters that
  are limited in this choice are the Dorm Dorks, who must reside in
  the college dorms with a roommate who possesses questionable
  personal hygiene habits.
  Weapons
       Each weapon in "Horndogs!" has six statistics: type, damage, 
  weight, size  AT, and cost. Remember, a character's Strength      
  Damage Modifier is added to hand-to-hand and melee weapon attacks,
  as are "called shot" damage modifiers. Blunt weapons do non-lethal
  damage, edged weapons do lethal damage unless otherwise noted, and
  the damage listed for ranged weapons is actually for the projectile
  it fires. Any large weapon is treated as if weighing 15 pounds for
  20 of 27
  
  encumbrance purposes. All weapons come with holsters or sheathes.
  The weapons can be obtained at "Steve's Liqour and Guns" right off
  campus, if the GM wishes.
  Key to codes: AT=Attribute-base for Weapons Use skill checks.
  R=ranged; H=hand-to-hand; B=blunt; E=edged; L=lethal;
  NL=non-lethal; Str=Strength Attribute Rating; Agl=Agility Attribute
  Rating. X=Explosive. Numbers in parentheses are the number of shots
  a gun holds.
  Weapon              Type Damage    Weight    Size      AT   Cost 
  AK-47 (30)          R    10 L      8 pounds  Large     Agl  $375
  Barretta .22 (6)    R    3 L       1 pound   Small     Agl  $500
  Compound Bow        R    4 L       10 pounds Large     Agl  $320
  Billy club          H    2 NL      0.3 pounds Small    Str  $12
  Brass knuckles      H    Str x2L   0.5 pounds Small    Str  $8
  Browning 9 mm (13)  R    5 L       2 pounds  Small     Agl  $500
  Dynamite (1 stick)  X    12 L      0.1 pounds Small    Int  $10/stk
  Flame Thrower       R    3 NL/3 L  40 pounds  Large    Agl  $3,500
  Mace                H    1 L/3 NL  0.1 pounds Small    Agl  $12
  Magnum .357 (6)     R    8 L       2.5 pounds Small    Agl  $425
  *Shotgun, double(2) R    7 L       10 pounds  Large    Agl  $420
  Shotgun, pump (6)   R    7 L       12 pounds Large     Agl  $460
  **Scatter-gun (2)   R    5 L/2 trg 8 pounds  Medium    Agl  $450
  Switchblade         H    1 L       0.2 pounds Small    Str  $40
  Uzi 9 mm  (30)      R    7 L       8 pounds  Small     Agl  $440
  Winchester Rifle(12) R   6 L       9 pounds  Large     Agl  $525
  Whip (and chain)    H,B  1 NL      8 pounds  Small     Agl  $100
  *Although Large, this weapon has ranges similar to a Medium Weapon.
  **Although Medium, this weapon as ranges similar to a Small
  weapon.   
  CREATURES OF "HORNDOGS!"
       As always, "creatures" is a generic term for all characters
  that aren't controlled by players. There are no fantastic monsters
  listed in this set; for those we refer you to NL01 and NL03, our
  fantasy gamebooks.
       The Attribute Ratings given for the various human and animal
  categories are averages, to be used as examples for GMs to design
  creatures and NPCs of their own. GMs should outfit intelligent
  creatures with the appropriate advantages, disadvantages, skills,
  and equipment. 
       Big Man on Campus: This is either the star football player or
  the student body president, or one and the same. The BMoC has the
  Self-Centered Disadvantage in a big way and will ignore all female
  characters with Look Attribute Ratings of less than 6, (whom he
  will obnoxiously and clumsily try to seduce) and will ridicule all
  male characters with Looks Attribute Ratings of less than 4. Str:
  5, Agl: 6, Lks: 7, Itl: 3, Per: 2, Hth: 6, Pth: 6. 
       Big Woman on Campus: BWoC character comes in a variety of
  shapes and sizes, but they are always radical feminists who believe
  they are victims of the corrupt, oppressive male hegemony that
  rules the world and the universe. They promote a wide range of
  crack-pot theories, and the BWoC may be the subject of a future
  NUELOW expansion. All Seduction attempts on BWoCs automatically
  fail by any males remotely masculine, and the failure causes the
  BWoC to attack with the intention of severing limbs and members.
  These characters may be of any character type the GM chooses,
  besides being BWoCs. Str: 5, Agl: 5, Lks: 5, Itl: 4, Per: 2, Hth:
  6, Pth: 4.
       Campus Cop: The symbol of law and order on the campus, the
  Campus Cops are too busy hanging out at nearby donut shops or
  lurking in speedtraps just on campus to prevent the countless
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  car-thefts, muggings, robberies, petty thefts, and burglaries that
  take place on campus. The donut shop trips are due to the cops'
  need for sugar and caffeine to stay alert despite double shifts,
  and the speedtraps are due to the university administration's
  insistence that the campus police department needs to pay for
  itself. Campus Cops occasionally hire out as security for frat
  parties to augment their pathetic salaries. Str: 6, Agl: 8, Lks: 3,
  Itl: 5, Per: 5, Hth: 8, Pth: 7.
       Child, average: This is a rollerblading, video-game playing
  class-cutter or college-kid wanna-be with raging hormones, some
  13-15 years old. They are found anywhere on the campus, but they
  are mostly hanging out in the student union building by the games 
  or rollerblading along the sidewalks. They may also have one skill
  and one or two advantages or disadvantages. Str: 3, Agl: 6, Lks: 5,
  Itl: 4, Per: 5, Hth: 4, Pth: 5.
       Dog: These are either roaming free on campus during classes,
  or are found with a Campus Cop. If with a Campus Cop, the character
  is in trouble if it hears the words, "Sick 'im, boy!". Dogs bite  
  for 2 L points. Str: 5, Agl: 8, Lks: 4, Itl: 2, Per: 2, Hth: 5,
  Pth: 8.
       Escaped Mental Patient: This homicidal maniac is armed to the
  teeth with axes, spikes, and meat cleavers, and is attracted to the
  basements of sorority houses... where it waits for an opportunity
  to create a "Friday Night Sorority House Pajama Party Nightmare
  Massacre." This creature is unaffected by non-lethal damage and
  ignores lethal damage of less than 3 points. Str: 8, Agl: 3, Lks:
  2, Itl: 7, Per: 3, Hth: 15, Pth: 12.
       Foreign Exchange Student: This NPC can be of either sex,
  barely speaks English, and is about as smart as the average Jock.
  It is the object of lust of many characters, as should be clear
  from its statistics. It has come to the university in America,    
  like the player characters, to get the most out of its college    
  experience. Str: 3, Agl: 9, Lks: 9, Itl: 4, Per: 5, Hth: 6, Pth: 3.
       Gamer: Most Gamers are also Dorm Dorks or Suffering Arts
  Students. However, they chatter incessantly about their preferred
  pastime, which revolves around playing a specific type of war-,   
  roleplaying-, card-, or boardgame. The one thing Gamers like more 
  than talking about their favorite game, is to complain about how
  inferior other games are, and how dumb those who play the other
  games are. Gamers seem to be heavily in the throws of the
  Self-centered Disadvantage, but most of them actually have the
  Inferiority Complex, and are trying to justify their preoccupation
  with an activity that many consider childish by claiming they are
  exploring their inner selves or sharpening social and critical
  thinking skills. Str: 2, Agl: 4, Lks: 4, Itl: 5, Per: 4, Hth: 5,
  Pth: 3.
       Gangbangers: These violent cut-throats dwell in the
  neighborhoods surrounding the university. They are encountered in
  groups numbering an amount rolled on three six-sided dice. One
  member of such groups has a Looks Rating of 7 and a Personality
  Rating of 8. Each member has at least one Weapons Use skill devoted
  to AK-47 or Uzi. Str: 5, Agl: 8, Lks: 4, Itl: 3, Per: 4, Hth: 7,
  Pth: 7.   
       "Professional:" This is a euphemism for a man or woman
  belonging to the "world's oldest profession." The "professional"
  will perform sexual favors for a character willing to pay. The
  amount charged depends on what the character wants to do, but it
  ranges from $20-$120. "Professionals" have Seduction at Skill Level
  1 and Sexual Prowess at Skill Level 2. These NPCs also receive a  
  -2 modifier on checks to resist Seduction attempts, but a seduced
  professional will only charge half its normal rate. Str: 3, Agl: 9,
  Lks: 5, Itl: 4, Per: 5, Hth: 5, Pth: 6.
       Professor: More concerned with having their ego stroked and
  publishing articles in academic journals than teaching the students
  who pay the bulk of their salary, these characters are more
  22 of 27
  
  interested in hearing their own pet theories parroted back at them
  than actually educating anyone. A sure-fire way for a student of
  the opposite sex from a professor to get a top grade is to sleep
  with it, whether or not any real class-work is done. Str: 3, Agl:
  3, Lks: 3, Itl: 3, Per: 7, Hth: 3, Pth: 3.
       Professor, Mad: This professor isn't too terribly concerned
  with ego-stroking or with publishing in academic journals...
  "Weekly World News" and other tabloid credits suit it just fine.
  Mad Professors always have some strange theory or invention they
  are trying to prove or perfect, and they always use the students
  enrolled in their classes as test subjects. Mad Professors may also
  be attempting to contact space aliens and often wear tin-foil under
  their toupee in the hopes of better receiving their messages. A
  student who attempts to seduce a Mad Professor for a good grade
  will invariable end up as a test subject. Str: 3, Agl: 4, Lks: 3,
  Itl: 5, Per: 6, Hth: 4, Pth: 5.
       Professor, Nutty: This character loves teaching and believes
  that its students come to college to learn and actually pay
  attention when it lectures. This character always has the
  Commitment and Self-centered disadvantages and they are focused
  squarely on whatever its chosen field of expertise is. It is always
  dropping notes and books wherever it goes, and never wears socks
  that match. Seduction attempts on this character never result in
  more than a packet of photocopies of the latest articles on the   
  topic of the class. Poor classwork always results in a poor grade
  from a Nutty Professor. Str: 2, Agl: 2, Lks: 4, Itl: 8, Per: 5,
  Hth: 4, Pth: 6.
       Saori: These powerful, golden-skinned Amazon women from
  outer space have come to Earth in phallic crafts in search of     
  breeding stock. They will attempt to seduce male characters into  
  passionate, unprotected sex (Saori never carry STDs), but failing 
  that, they will paralyze the character and abduct it for a life of 
  never-ending rough sex on the Saori Broodship. (The Saori are a
  featured player character species in the forthcoming NUELOW science
  fiction gamebook, "Stars and Garters!".) Str: 8, Agl: 8, Lks: 7,
  Itl: 6, Per: 3, Hth: 7, Pth: 10.
       Sheep: Since the release of "Fairies!", NUELOW players
  clamored for sheep game-stats.  After all, what is Sexual
  Preference, Animal without sheep.  In "Horndogs!", sheep are
  generally found near frat houses during rush week and parties. Str:
  4, Agl: 5, Lks: 3, Itl: 2, Per: 1, Hth: 4, Pth: 5.
       Teaching Fellow: These are graduate student sycophants who are
  actually the ones who do all the work for the Professors. Some
  Teaching Fellows may be accomplices of the Mad Professors, or loyal
  collaborators of Nutty Professors. They generally share the same
  traits and Attribute Ratings as the professor type they serve
  except for the Intelligence Attribute Rating; Teaching Fellows have
  Itl equal to an amount rolled on two six-sided dice.
       Working Stiffs: These are all the characters who exist outside
  the never-neverland of the university, and they actually work for
  a living. As such, all other characters in the "Horndogs!" game
  look down on and exploit them whenever possible. Str: 5, Agl: 4,  
  Lks: 4, Itl: 5, Per: 5, Hth: 5, Pth: 4.
  FRANKENHOOFER UNIVERSITY (F.U.): A "HORNDOGS!" CAMPAIGN SETTING
       Frankenhoofer University (F.U.) was founded in 1904 by
  industrialist N.O. Frankenhoofer, who wanted to train the next
  generation of executives in his business empire. The children of
  employees could attend the private school for one-quarter of what
  other students paid, providing they signed a contract to spend 15
  years with Frankenhoofer Enterprises. (He figured that since he
  already owned the parents of the prospective students heart and
  soul, he might as well get their children, too.)  Unfortunately,
  Frankenhoofer was wiped out by the Great Depression, but his
  23 of 27
  
  university lived on as a Depression era National Recovery Agency
  project and then as a state university.
       The F.U. campus was originally on the outskirts of the city,
  but during the 50s and 60s, industrial areas and scattered low-
  income apartment complexes have encrouched upon and surrounded it.
  Thus, F.U. currently stands a little haven for its students and
  instructors who remain blissfully unaware of the state of the real
  world.
       The F.U. campus consists of a few square miles of paved
  walkways and buildings of various sizes separated by slight hills
  and well-kept lawns and flowerbeds. Automobiles aren't allowed into
  campus, although the students careening about on skateboards and
  bicycles are every bit as dangerous to pedestrians as cars speeding
  down a freeway. There are several dozen buildings on campus,
  housing departments and offices and classrooms devoted to every
  conceivable academic discipline, no matter trivial in its practical
  application. Whichever classes and academic departments that GMs
  need to add for their individual campaigns can easily be placed
  anywhere on the campus. Most "Horndogs!" characters are too busy
  getting the most out of their college years to learn the campus
  layout, so we'll just touch on the more important parts of campus
  and the surrounding neighborhood that they may be most likely to
  know (or discover).
       Fraternity and Sorority Row consists of nine houses, four
  sororities and five fraternities, each type ranging from the posh,
  palatial manors of the ones with fast-tracks to the Old Boys and
  Girls Networks, to the run-down party houses with rusting Dodges on
  the front lawns. These buildings are directly north of campus and
  hopping with non-stop parties every weekend. The parties are
  occasionally disrupted by fun and/or revenge seeking Dorm Dorks
  with strange gadgets or trouble-seeking gangbangers with automatic
  weapons.
       At the far end of this street is the Tinggaard Asylum for the
  Violently Insane. Part educational facility, part warehouse for
  society's most dangerous criminals, a week doesn't go by where a
  killing machine doesn't escape to wreck havoc in the surrounding
  community. The asylum might have been shut down long ago, if not
  for the problem of what do with its inmates (something the local
  government doesn't want to address). Next door to the asylum,
  separated by a high wall that is topped with barbed wire with
  10,000 volts of electricity surging through it, is the deserted
  former home of Frankenhoofer himself, a stately manor that is
  crumbling under the weight of the years.
       The Science Colleges teach every conceivable discipline,
  theoretical, natural and social. This and the Lab Building is the
  newest of all building-groups and features the latest in hi-tech
  research facilities. Needles to say, this area of campus is rife
  with explosions and bizarre happenings, as Mad Professor
  experiments go awry and genetically engineered
  > slime monsters escape from their cages. Deep in the bowels of the
  Lab Building, F.U.'s most famous Mad Scientist, Doc Darbyrub, has
  an entire sub-basement devoted to government-funded research into
  growing better radishes and decyphering transmissions from outer
  space.  Additionally, he is conducting reality-bending experiments
  and has succeeding in creating a tear in the fabric of reality.
  Through this tear, characters from other NUELOW worlds (such as
  those presented in other NUELOW gamebooks) enter the world of
  "Horndogs!"  Darbyrub, in turn, is looking for a few good (wo)men
  (or just someone drunk enough) to venture through from our side to
  theirs.  (Game note: Darbyrub's inter-dimensional gate is also an
  opportunity for GM's to introduce Creatures Whose Names Can Not Be
  Spoken Because They Are Copyrighted And Contain No Vowels into the
  world of "Horndogs!"
       Where the science buildings are a sparkling vision of
  opulence, the College of Humanities is a crumbling heap that has
  24 of 27
  
  barely been painted since it was built. It is drafty, poorly
  heated, not air conditioned, and instructors generally bring their
  own light bulbs to work since the administration hasn't given any
  of the Humanities departments big enough budgets to afford such
  trivial things. The Political Science department, located in an old
  nucular fall-out shelter complex under the buidling, teaches a
  variety of classes directly squarely at the needs of Jocks,
  including the ever-popular "Democracy Through the Ages 101." The
  English, Creative Writing and Philosophy departments are always
  rife with Starving Art Students. Additionally, the campus newspaper
  is published from this building.
       The Student Union Building is the center of night-time social
  life for Dorm Dorks. It features two third-rate cafeterias, a
  bowling alley with six half-length lanes, a small arcade featuring
  last year's hit video games and pinball machines, and a couple of
  ballrooms that are frequently rented to new age faith-healers
  conducting self-motivation seminars, and less frequently for free
  dance concerts by fourth-rate bands for the Dorm Dorks. The Dorm
  Dorks spend much of their time in the Student Union because the
  Student Dorms are in a state that make the Humanities building look
  well-maintained; more than one Dorm Dork has been in bed
  (frequently with someone else) when it suddenly falls down into the
  room on the floor below.
       On the other hand, the Athletic Dorms bear a striking
  resemblance to four-star hotels, including cable and color
  television sets and private baths in each room (as opposed to no
  cable and only one TV and communal shower/restroom per floor in the
  student dorms). Each dorm building features its own restaurant,
  arcade with the hottest games, steambaths, and two racquetball
  courts. They are right across the street from the Frankenhoofer
  Memorial Stadium, which is the world's biggest sports complex. It
  includes a football stadium, indoor baseball field, and a
  basketball court that doubles as an ice hockey rink. 
       The highest point on campus is occupied by the Administration
  Building where all F.U. budgetary concerns are evaluated and
  decided. Most of the administration's time is spent on deciding
  what color the carpeting should be in this year's total
  redecoration of the building's interior, so the tight budget money
  can be maximized to its fullest. 
       The Campus Police Department islocated in the basement of the
  Administration Building. This is because the department didn't
  generate enough money through fines to warrant their own building.
  Further, the Administration wants plenty of defense should the
  student body ever again decide to storm the building anbd burn
  their bras and jockstraps in protest like they did in the '60s.
  (The order still clings to the portrait of Frankenhoofer in the
  front lobby.)
  > Map Key
  1. Fraternity and Sorority Row (homeground for Fratboys and
  Sorority Girls)
  2. Administration Building
  3. Science Colleges and Lab Buildings (including the Secret Lair of
  the Mad Professor)
  4. College of Humanities
  5. Student Union Building
  6. Student Dorms
  7. Athletic Dorms
  8. Frankenhoofer Memorial Stadium
  9. Tinggaard Asylum for the Violently Insane
  10. Staff Parking Lots (room for 200 cars)
  11. Student Parking Lots (room for 12 cars)
  ADVENTURES FOR "HORNDOGS!"
       As always in the NUELOW gamebooks, this section merely
  25 of 27
  
  contains adventure outlines. They intended as jump-off points for
  GM's to come up with their own wacky college hi-jinx. And, as
  long-time NUELOW fans have grown accustomed to, both these
  adventure ideas suck, so your creativity is truly needed.  (As
  mentioned earlier, an adventure that includes "Fairies!" was run
  with great success.  This scenario might just find its way into the
  NUELOW Bedside Companion.)
       A great idea for an introductory scenario that was suggested
  in the 11th hour by one of the smarter members of the Design Team
  was to have the characters attempt to register for classes. Oh
  well... maybe we'll do a second edition.
       1. This adventure is best played by a group composed primarily
  of Dorm Dorks. One of the characters, or a non-player character
  whom they are friends with, with the MacGyverism skill, is
  approached by a Frat Boy and offered an obscene amount of cash to
  install a hidden video camera/transmitter in an airvent in one of
  Frankenhoofer Memorial Stadium's women's locker rooms. The Frat Boy
  will continue to sweeten the deal, even offering to pay half up
  front, until the character agrees.
       The first step of this adventure requires the players come
  with a decent plan for letting their characters penetrate the heart
  of enemy territory in order to install the camera; the GM should
  create a challenging situation for the characters but should not
  make it too difficult as the real adventure doesn't start until
  they are installing the camera.
       As the PC with MacGyverism opens the vent, it discovers that
  there is already a camera in there, and just as that discovery is
  made, the locker room is flooded with Jocks of both sexes, led by
  the Frat Boy who approached the characters in the first place. The
  Jocks and Frat Boy have a distinct lynch-mob air about them and the
  characters must flee with angry accusations of being perverts and
  death-threats being shouted at them. (If the characters don't flee,
  they'll get their butts whipped big time.)
       Next day, the campus paper carries a front page story about
  how the mysterious "Locker Room Videographer" was almost caught by
  the Men's Lacrosse and Women's Football teams and Delta Sigma Pi
  member and son of F.U. President Lacey, Charles Lacey the Third,
  who is shown in a photo with the two cameras. According to the
  article, the administration will expel the students responsible for
  the covert taping and the Women's Football Team vows to break the
  legs and crack the nuts of the perpetrators should they get their
  hands on them. Should the characters confront the Frat Boy (Charles
  Lacey the Third) who set them up, he gleefully admits that he heard
  the camera he and his Frat Brothers had hidden in the locker room
  had been discovered, but thanks the player characters Delta Sigma
  Pi had managed to retrieve their tape of the naked hard-bodies
  anyway. He promises the characters that if he ever so much
  as hears their names again, he will tell the Women's Football team
  exactly where they can find each and every one of them.
       The primary objective of this adventure becomes the player
  character's quest for revenge against the Frat Boy, either through
  making his life a living hell from a hidden position, or through
  exposing him and his Frat Brothers to the Women's Football team.
  (Going to the Jocks or Administration and just telling the truth is
  pointless, as no one will believe a bunch of Dorm Dorks over a Frat
  Boy who's the son of the university president.)
       If the characters come up with a ingenious scheme, they should
  be able to just sit back and watch as college women with
  well-muscled legs go to work on the gonads of Delta Sigma Pi. If
  the plan is lame, well...
       2. When the GM tires of the F.U. setting and "Horndogs!" in
  general, we encourage the use of a "Frat Beer Fest Massacre"
  scenario to bring a close to things down. This adventure works best
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  if played by Frat Boy and Sorority Girl characters, although Jocks
  and Cheerleaders might work as well.
       On the last night of Rush, the Alpha Ki Mu sorority and the Pi
  Epsilon Delta fraternity throw their joint annual bash of beer and
  debauchery on the overgrown and long-deserted grounds surrounding
  the crumbling mansion that was once home to F.U.'s founder,
  industrial magnate Frankenhoofer. He started the tradition, and
  even though the stately manor has long been abandoned, the F.U.
  administration lets the brothers and sisters and their prospective
  pledges party there every year, as long as they hire a Campus Cop
  for security.
       As the night wears on, there seems to be fewer and fewer
  revelers.  The assumption on the part of characters should be that
  drunken Frat Boys and intoxicated Sorority Girls are heading off
  into the undergrowth or the deserted mansion for close encounters
  of the carnal kind. In actuality, they are being picked off one by
  one by the escaped maniac, Timmy. (Timmy, who has the statistics
  and abilities of the Homicidal Maniac from the "Creatures" section,
  was driven insane as a small child when his parents took him to see
  a marathon performance of "Taming of the Shrew" and "Othello"
  starring Sharon Stone, John Travolta, Bruce Willis, James Earl
  Jones, Mark Hammill, James Wood, Rosanne Barr, and the guy who
  played "Webster" making up the entire cast of both plays.  When he
  speaks, it's in lines chosen at random from those plays, whether or
  not the meaning applies to the situation at hand.) 
       The characters eventually hook up with their own human squeeze
  toys... at which point they start finding non-player characters
  killed in a variety of creatively disgusting ways (no two
  dispatched in the same way). The Campus Cop will be no help, since
  he's been dead since the party began, propped up against the garden
  wall and the nightstick that has been shoved through his back.
       At this point, Timmy starts stalking the characters and their
  lovers, driving them toward the mansion where the big showdown
  between insane killer and one or two survivors takes place. Timmy
  is armed with one of each weapon listed in the Equipment section,
  plus a wide selection of sharp implements that have already been
  left in slain non-player characters. (GMs with access to "Fairies!"
  might want to give Timmy ALL the weapons listed in that gamebook.)
       The theme of this stage of the adventure is random mayhem and
  violence and kill, kill, kill. Ideally, the GM should save the PCs
  for last, picking off their NPC lovers before starting on them.
  Consider the players the actors whose names appear before the title
  on the dozen of cheesy slasher flicks that fill the shelves at your
  neighborhood video store, so you know that they'll all bite it...
  unless they get Timmy before he gets them. (Of course, the only way
  the player characters will be able to fight Timmy is to retrieve
  weapons from his victims, or figure out some way to knock him off
  his feet; each time Timmy falls, he drops 1-6 weapons.
       Should the player characters enter the mansion, any character
  who suggests that they go into the basement one at a time receives
  5 character points, to be spent if it survives. On the other hand,
  characters who say "DON'T go into the basement!" receive 10
  character points, to be spent if it survives.  (Of course, if the
  GM uses this adventure as we suggest, those points won't make much
  of a difference.)
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SOURCE: textdata/thevault/Nuelow/Nuelow Horndogs.pdf