TEXT: TRAVELLER Tournament
  Star Worn
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  Star Worn 8 No Deckplans.doc
  ���������
  A one-round TRAVELLER tournament adventure
  by
  Andy and Sarah Lilly
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  plagiarised from a variety of science fiction sources...
  This box should have a witty introduction in it.
  However, just like last year, this was written at the last minute, late at night, so
  don't expect too much...
  Star Worn is a TRAVELLER tournament scenario with pre-generated
  characters. TRAVELLER is a registered trademark of FarFuture Enterprises. All
  rights reserved.
  This document and all associated handouts and artwork are copyright 1998
  BITS (British Isles TRAVELLER Support. This document and all associated
  handouts and artwork must not be copied reprinted reproduced or stored in any
  material or electronic form either wholly or in part without the prior written permission
  of BITS.
  
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  A special, one-off, never-to-be-repeated1 release of the
  ���������
  tournament developed and run by BITS at Gen Con UK 1998.
  Distributed FREE with the BITS December 2000 Newsletter!
  Its name
  STAR WORN
  is not indicative of any link or relationship to any previous film or publication
  whatsoever, nor are the pile of strangely familiar characters and situations found
  in this tournament in any way a challenge to the copyright, trademarks or any
  other legal thingies of any person or company in the entire universe.
  As this was written a few years back in great haste, some additional annotations
  have been made by the author to help you run the game. These are shown thus:
  [Note: blah blah blah]. For various reasons a few words (mostly profanities)
  have been changed to avoid legal action, however, for safety, this tournament is only
  to be used by mature consenting adults over the age of 32.
  Published in the UK by:
  BRITISH ISLES TRAVELLER SUPPORT
  A British Forum for TRAVELLER - the Game of the Far Future
  Co-ordinator: Andy Lilly
  BITS UK Limited, PO Box 4222, Sawbridgeworth, Herts, CM21 0DP, England.
  E-mail: BITS@bits.org.uk
  Web: http://www.bits.org.uk/
  Copyright: BITS UK Limited 1998, 2000. All rights reserved. No part of this work
  may be reproduced in any form or by any means without written permission from
  BITS UK Limited. This document is distributed for free by BITS and may not be
  distributed in part or in whole for any fee or other consideration without written
  permission from BITS UK Limited.
  Traveller is a registered trademark of FarFuture Enterprises. All rights reserved.
  Portions of this material have a vague possibilitiy of being copyright Far Future
  Enterprises 1977-2000. Used under permission of license.
  Made in the UK. Printed in the UK.
  Ask at your local games shop for the latest BITS supplements…
  • 101 Cargos
  • 101 Patrons
  • 101 Rendezvous
  • 101 Governments
  • 101 Plots
  • 101 Travellers
  • 101 Lifeforms
  • 101 Religions
  • At Close Quarters
  …adventures…
  • The Khiidkar Incident
  • Spacedogs
  • Delta 3 Is Down
  …and useful information.
  • The  Traveller  Bibliography
  • The Periodical Bibliography
                                             
  1 Unless someone offers us some cash, of course…
  
  TRAVELLER Tournament
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  REFEREE'S INTRODUCTION
  Space Worn is a not-too-serious tournament adventure for six pre-generated
  characters, set early in the birth of the Third Imperium (i.e. “Milieu 0”). A copy of the
  T4 rules is necessary to run this scenario, and copies of Milieu 0 and the Central
  Supply Catalog may also be vaguely useful. The format of the adventure is of
  sections broken up into "nuggets" or scenes.
  Text to be read verbatim (or paraphrased) to the players is shown in the following
  manner:
  Read or paraphrase this bit to the players
  PLOT OUTLINE
  The Third Imperium is expanding. It doesn't want any of this "nice diplomatic"
  approach – it wants worlds. Nice new virgin worlds that can be raped of their
  resources. A key player in the military 'expeditionary' forces, both for getting new
  worlds and keeping control of them, is Daft Vader, evil black-dresser extraordinaire.
  Facing this military might is a sad band of six misfits, driven by an old Jelli Knight
  (with knowledge of the mystical power of The Forks)  who have to find a way to
  destroy the Braindead Star – Vader's new weapon – a moon-sized space station
  which can beam trillions of trash TV channels directly into a planet's video systems,
  thus turning their brains to grey mush.
  THE PLAYER-CHARACTERS
  The following table summarises the key details of the player-characters, in
  particular the roles they should be playing and their key skills.
  Name
  Brief notes
  Skills
  Louie Skywallower
  An inept hero, better known for
  his designer dress sense and
  hair style than for his combat
  ability with a light sabre (or his
  ability to do anything really).
  Recently recruited by…
  Blade (Light sabre)-1, Grav
  Vehicle-1, 
  Leadership-1,
  Melee (Pitchfork)-2, Pilot-1,
  Pistol (Blaster)-1, Starship
  Gunnery-1, Telekinesis*-1,
  Telepathy*-1
  Obi Uncle Noby
  A depressed old man - the last
  of the Jelli Knights and now too
  old to fight Daft Vader alone.
  Having received news of the
  Braindead Star from Princess
  Layme, he sought to train Louie
  but has realised the latter will
  never make a Jelli Knight.
  Blade 
  (Light 
  sabre)-5,
  Confuse*-3, 
  Diplomacy-2,
  Disguise-1, 
  First 
  Aid-1,
  Persuade*-3, Perception-3,
  Stealth-2, Telekinesis*-1
  C4PO G-VS ("Jeeves)
  The upmarket personal valet
  robot with a false moustache
  that keeps Louie dressed, clean
  and presentable (and tries to
  keep him out of trouble too).
  Administration-3,
  Astrogation-3,
  Carousing-3, Computer-3,
  Diplomacy-3, Grav Craft-3,
  Medical-3, 
  Perception-3,
  Pistol (finger)-1, Steward-3
  
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  "Handy" Solo
  A smuggler who works only for
  cash 
  (and 
  who 
  owes 
  the
  dreaded Jabbering Mutt a huge
  amount of money). Owner of the
  Millennium Bug - a rather worn-
  out old Far Trader starship.
  Astrogation-1, Brawling-1,
  Bribery-1, 
  Carousing-3,
  Computer-1, 
  Grav
  Vehicle-1, 
  Pilot-1, 
  Pistol
  (Blaster)-2, 
  Streetwise-3,
  Trader-1
  "Booky" the Wooky
  An orang-utan with a fixation on
  books (technical manuals) who
  can only talk using various
  forms of "oook".
  Brawling-4,
  Communications-1,
  Computer-1, 
  Crossbow
  (auto)-2, 
  Electronics-1,
  Engineering-1,
  Intimidation-4,
  Mechanical-1, (Co-)Pilot-3,
  Sensors-1, Vacc Suit-1
  Princess Layme
  A beautiful princess who is
  definitely in the "I'm not a wimp
  now let's get out there and kick
  some serious butt" category of
  heroines. She knows where the
  party must travel to, in order to
  start the adventure.
  Blade, 
  Large-3, 
  Blade,
  Small-3, 
  Brawling-3,
  Computer-1, Diplomacy-3,
  Leadership-4, 
  Medical-1,
  Pistols-3, 
  Rifles-3, 
  Vacc
  Suit-1
  THE ADVENTURE
  The following table summarises the sections which comprise this adventure,
  including a quick explanation of the sort of play involved in each section.
  Section
  Notes
  1. 
  Jebadebabedi
  starport on Tattyone
  The PCs meet up and work out how stupid they all are. They
  are chased off the planet by stormtroopers.
  2. 
  Heading 
  for
  Dungheap
  The PCs find out just how awful the ship is. There's only one
  place to go: Dungheap. Remember that Layme should be in a
  big hurry to get there and find the mystic Yodel.
  3. On Dungheap
  The PCs land on Dungheap, find Yodel, have to steal the
  Sacred C4 and Holy Detonator from Jabbering Mutt's mud
  palace, then leave pretty quickly!
  4. In The Forests of
  Wibble
  The PCs must land on Wibble, some distance from the
  ground station to avoid the sensors. Trudging through the
  forest they must kill some Scooter-Troopers, meet the Eyuks
  and break into the ground station.
  5. Landing On The
  Braindead Star
  Using the stolen security codes the PCs must land on the
  Braindead Star. They can easily avoid a search by the
  Stormtroopers and must make their way to the centre of the
  Star. There are various events that will happen on the way to,
  or from, the centre of the Star.
  6. Planting the Bomb
  The PCs find out that the Holy Detonator, being several
  thousand years old, is a dud. However, they can find a self-
  destruct mechanism, although it can only be reached using
  The Forks.
  
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  NPCS
  There are no statistics for NPCs in this game. Make them up as you go along.
  Make up your dice rolls. Fabricate tasks. None of this is important, it's the role-
  playing that counts!
  STARTING THE GAME
  • Hand out the player character sheets (at random).
  • Give out the correct section of Player Handout 1 to each of the players so they
  can pin it on their forehead or wherever.
  • Make sure Princess Layme has Player Handout 2.
  • Hand out the ship floorplans for the Millennium Bug (Player Handout 5) to
  Handy Solo.
  • Allow the players a few minutes to read through the sheets. Answer any
  questions they have about their characters.
  This should take about 15 minutes at most.
  SECTION 1: JEBADEBABEDI STARPORT
  SUMMARY
  The PCs meet up and work out how stupid they all are. They are chased off the
  planet by stormtroopers.
  [1] Meeting The Other Idiots
  Read the following to the players:
  You are all on the desert world of Tattyone. There is nothing here but desert,
  apart from a few really isolated and sad farming types and a run-down starport full of
  thieves, called Jebadebabedi.
  You have been brought together essentially at the request of Princess Layme.
  Today is the very first day of Imperial year Zero – the official start of the Third
  Imperium. It is six o'clock in the morning and most people in the starport are not yet
  up and about – which makes it altogether safer to be walking the streets. Why 6am?
  It seems that your patron - Princess Layme is a stickler for early starts. But then
  she's the one who's running things, so who's complaining?
  You are in a musty docking bay with a blast wall around it and only one door
  leading into the public areas of the starport beyond. The Millennium Bug – the
  interstellar smuggling ship run by Handy Solo – slumps unevenly on three of its four
  support legs (the fourth leg is rather bent and not really supporting the ship). The
  ship has laser scorch marks across much of its surface.
  Let the PCs introduce themselves to each other. Anyone standing around for long
  enough (or in particular if they actually bother to look at the outside of the ship)
  should make an Average Perception roll. If successful they notice the following:
  It's strange, but looking in a little more detail, you're pretty sure that a lot of the
  scorch marks are at exactly the angle that they would be if the ship's turrets had
  
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  accidentally been fired towards the ship itself. Don't worry, it's probably just a trick of
  the light.
  Similarly, another Average Perception roll (by any of the characters) will notice
  the following:
  The two drive vents at the back seem to have a red tape across them with the
  following text printed on it: "Impounded by starport authority under safety rules 45,
  47, 48, 49-50, 54-67, 82, 90, 100, 202, 333, 666, 999, etc. For God's sake do not
  activate these drives."
  [2] The Stormtroopers Arrive
  Just as the PCs are getting ready to board (or after a few minutes if they're
  spending too long just talking to each other), the Imperial marines show up:
  Suddenly the entrance bell for the door into the blast bay rings. You have a
  visitor.
  There is a spyhole, or you can tell Handy that there is a spy-camera set over the
  door on the outside so he can get a view of the visitor from inside the ship if he
  wants.
  Assuming someone looks, they see (if not, go past this bit):
  There is a long line of heavily built beggars out there, with dusty robes. They are
  all standing straight upright at attention, but have large cowls so that you are unable
  to make out their faces. A crackling old female voice says: "Alms for the poor? Alms
  for the poor? Please let us in kind gentlepeople and spare a few credits for we old
  women. Lawks…"
  It should be pretty obvious that these are not alms collectors, but in fact a team of
  Imperial stormtroopers in a not-very-cunning disguise. If the PCs try asking any
  questions, the lead stormtrooper will simply rewind and replay the taped recording of
  the woman's voice. If he gets really annoyed at not being let in he will eventually use
  his own voice and shout, "Look, just let us in. We're sad old women, okay?"
  If the PCs are stupid enough to let the stormtroopers in, then they march in, to a
  "Hup Two, Hup Two" count (from the lead 'woman'). They will line up along one wall,
  then throw off their cowls to reveal their bright white battledress with blaster rifles.
  Whether or not the PCs are still around, the troopers will then announce "Handy
  Solo, you are under arrest. This ship is impounded. I say, stop, dammit!" They will
  start firing. They will not hit anything or anyone, except for superficial wounds (e.g. if
  Louie is standing around, have them burn a hole in his hairdo or singe his designer
  clothing).
  If the PCs didn't let the stormtroopers in, then they do the same "you're under
  arrest" speech from outside and then blast the door down, march in, start firing, etc.
  as above.
  The PCs can have a fire-fight if they want, but there is an endless supply of
  stormtroopers. Note that stormtroopers (in this bit) will be stunt men, i.e. when shot
  they leap about all over the place and die with only a single shot.
  The PCs should get into the Millennium Bug and take off. If you get bored and the
  PCs are hanging about, have the troopers starting bringing up some heavy auto-
  cannons to blast the ship.
  
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  [3] Taking Off
  You may remember the name of the ship and the fact that the date is Day 1 of
  Year 0. Yep, all the computers have crudded themselves. Nothing will work:
  Okay, the computers start coming on line. The Windoze9999 startup window
  appears…
  There's a long wait here, while 45,000 Microsloth applications are preloaded into
  memory.
  Finally the main Windoze9999 window appears. However, a series of error
  messages begin showing up:
  "Take off set for Imperial Year 10000." (The PCs should realise this means it is
  set to take off in 10,000 years time, due to the roll-over from year 9999 to 0.)
  Simply resetting the date to year 9999 will solve this problem (but let them work
  this out for themselves, while they can see the troopers outside bringing up the
  heavy artillery to break into the ship).
  If they try to use the ship's weapons, tell them:
  The computer pipes up: "The license for the Gunnery-2 Freeware Program has
  expired. Please contact our distributors for a proper license."
  If they try to activate the ship's manoeuvre drive:
  The computer comes up with the following message: "Please insert the Microsloth
  maneouvre drive driver in slot 2."
  Let the PCs players wonder a bit about how to solve this, until they realise that
  hitting any control panel really hard will sort it out.
  Handy will have to take the ship up on manual, causing a few bits of the ship to
  fall off. If he screws up his Piloting rolls, a few more bits of the ship fall off, but the
  PCs make it into space without being destroyed or overly harmed (there are plenty
  of opportunities for this later on!).
  SECTION 2: HEADING FOR DUNGHEAP
  SUMMARY
  The PCs find out just how awful the ship is. There's only one place to go:
  Dungheap. Remember that Layme should be in a big hurry to get there and find the
  mystic Yodel.
  [1] The Ship
  The Millennium Bug is a standard Traveller Far Trader. The statistics in Handout
  5 are irrelevant as the PCs can only jump to certain planets in this game and there
  are no starship chases!
  
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  The ship's computer is called "Holly", and is a little insane (thanks to repeated
  Microsloth upgrades, Holly's IQ has dropped to that of a senile hedgehog – just after
  having been run over by a steam-roller). Holly has computer access screens
  everywhere on the ship, but can't remember how to find most of these. The players
  can give Holly instructions but nothing will ever get done, although Holly does sound
  quite obedient and end most sentences with "Have a Nice Day". Handy and Booky
  don't even bother to use or refer to Holly, but the other PCs should be introduced –
  Holly is quite bored and will try to strike up a conversation with them.
  In general, the PCs will find anything they want to use is broken, out of service or
  not working quite right on this ship. Handy and Booky should be in a "So what?" sort
  of mood.
  [2] Jump to Dungheap
  A short interlude where (if she hasn't already) Princess Layme should tell the
  others: why they're heading for Dungheap; about the Braindead Star; about Player
  Handout 2.
  If they want any advance information on Dungheap, check out Section 3 and give
  them some of the details from there.
  SECTION 3: ON DUNGHEAP
  SUMMARY
  The PCs land on Dungheap, find Yodel, have to steal the Sacred C4 and Holy
  Detonator from Jabbering Mutt's mud palace, then leave pretty quickly!
  [1] Arrival in the Dungheap System
  Tell the PCs the following:
  Dungheap is a hot, smelly, jungle world. It has only one proper starport, which is
  even less advanced than Jebadebabedi. Certain of you know only too well that just a
  mile to the north of the starport is the mud home of the dreaded fat Vargr Jabbering
  Mutt. [For non-Traveller people, Vargr are a humanoid dog-based species. Ha ha,
  it's supposed to be a funny name.] You lock onto the port beacon which guides you
  down to the flat area of mud that is the starport.
  Get Handy or whoever to make a Pilot roll. If they screw up then the ship ends up
  half embedded in the mud. No problems – if a Jelli Knight isn't available to levitate it
  out of the mud, then the starport services can do it with a tow truck, provided
  someone pays them Cr25.
  Incidentally, Handy and Booky haven't been told on their character sheets that
  Dungheap is Jabbering Mutt's home town. If we told them that in advance do you
  think they'd have come here?
  Once they have landed, a 3' high guy comes out and demands a Cr10 berthing
  fee and brings out a couple of cans of diesel fuel for the ship (that's all that's
  available on this place). Don't worry, the ship will still run on it and yes, they will be
  able to get to their next destination!
  
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  [2] Finding Mystic Yodel
  The PCs will no doubt want to find Yodel. Asking anyone in the starport will get
  the answer:
  Simply wander outside the starport to the east and listen for the bloody awful
  noise.
  Yodel yodels – not very well. The PCs should have no trouble tracking him down
  in the jungle.
  • Naturally, people like Louie will get hideously dirty doing this.
  • Layme should be given an encounter with a ferocious beast with lots of tentacles
  – however, the creature will run off the instant she pulls a gun on it or even shouts
  at it.
  • Something small and cute and cuddly (looking vaguely like a koala) will drop on
  Handy's shoulder and start smooching him. Assuming he blows it away, Obi or
  Layme should be able to then identify it as the long lost Smezzle – thought to be
  extinct. Well, now it is…
  Once the PCs find Yodel – a short guy with hideous wrinkles, who cannot move
  unless carried on someone's shoulder or somesuch (he's just a hand-puppet after
  all) – he will ask them why they have sought him out.
  Provided they tell him the truth, he will tell them that the only way the Dark Side
  can be defeated is to destroy the Braindead Star.
  Presumably they'll say "Yes, we know that. Give us some advice you cretin!" He
  will look suitably shocked, and have to think for a while but will then announce the
  following:
  [TRY TO MAKE THE FOLLOWING SOUND A BIT LIKE A RELIGIOUS SERMON
  – feel free to sing bits in hymnal fashion if you can]
  "You must find the Sacred C4 of Antioch. You must seek also the Holy Detonator.
  You must place the Holy Detonator within the Sacred C4. You must place the whole
  lot at a preordained spot in the Braindead Star (right at the centre would be a good
  choice). You must activate the Holy Detonator by pressing the holy red button three
  times and three times only, not more than three times, nor less than three times.
  Thrice shall be the number of times that you shall press the red button, being the
  number created by adding one and two together. And then you shall run away very
  fast before the Holy Detonator bloweth up and createth seven sorts of serious sh*t."
  The PCs should get all this. Yodel will be pissed off if he has to repeat it.
  Presumably they will want to know where the Sacred C4 and Holy Detonator can
  be found. Yodel can tell them that they are within the inner sanctum of Jabbering
  Mutt's mud palace.
  There's nothing else to be gained here and Yodel is certainly not going to waste
  time training anybody or anything like that (although if they ask he can tell them that
  it's a six month programme, costs Cr2.5 million and they need to bring their own
  sleeping bag).
  [3] The Mud Palace
  The PCs need to work out how to get into the mud palace. It has only one huge
  metal power door as an entrance. Thankfully the gate guards are very thick huge
  monsters who could even be outwitted by Louie Skywallower on a good day.
  Basically, all they need to do is adopt really silly disguises and bluff their way in (e.g.
  “We’re here to read the electricity meter…”).
  
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  Let them in, they can find the C4 and detonator: they are in a glass display case
  (with a very big sign saying what they are) on the opposite side of the (darkened)
  hall from where the bulbous body of Jabbering Mutt rests on a grav sled (apparently
  asleep). Around lie various other of his minions, also apparently asleep.
  Let the PCs be as cunning as they like, but once they actually have the Sacred
  C4 and detonator in their hands, then everyone wakes up:
  Suddenly the lights come on. The Mutt and all his companions spring to life. With
  a bellicose laugh, Jabbering Mutt declares "Ha! Handy Solo and some sad
  compatriots. You didn't really think you could escape me did you? Where's the 10
  million you owe me Handy? Perhaps I should chew it out of your hides?"
  Yes of course the PCs are supposed to escape with their lives, the C4 and the
  detonator, but feel free to singe some designer clothes, have Layme massacre the
  bad guys, Booky swing around the room pulling arms off people, etc.
  The PCs should be chased back to the starport and take off quickly (same
  computer problems, dead-car-engine starting noises, etc.). They will find an
  envelope taped to the airlock door.
  Once in space they should want to know where to go next. Hopefully they open
  the envelope and read the letter which Yodel remembered at the last minute (give
  them Player Handout 6).
  SECTION 4: IN THE FORESTS OF WIBBLE
  SUMMARY
  The PCs must land on Wibble some distance from the ground station to avoid the
  sensors. Trudging through the forest they must kill some Scooter-Troopers and meet
  the Eyuks.
  [1] Arrival in the Wibble System
  Arriving in the Wibble system, your ship's sensors quickly tell you that indeed the
  Braindead Star is hovering just above the atmosphere of the planet. You can
  vaguely detect a hive of activity around the Star with huge numbers of little ships
  zipping about doing repairs, carrying stores and equipment.
  You can detect the force shield and, from extrapolation (drawing a line on the
  sensor display) you can tell where the ground station is on the planet below. You
  know that you cannot land close to the ground station without the enemy sensors
  detecting you, so you will have to land about 20 miles away and hike through the
  forests to assault the ground station.
  Unless the PCs have a really clever plan (Gods forbid!) then they should follow
  the plan above. Landing should be easy, but get Handy to roll Pilot stuff and then tell
  him he's flattened a small area of forest and broken some more stuff off his ship
  anyway.
  The forest is fairly easy going, so much less chance of getting anyone's designer-
  wear muddy, etc. After the PCs have pushed some distance into the forest, start
  
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  making them roll Perception rolls. Once they succeed (it doesn't matter how long it
  takes), tell them:
  You are just cresting the rise of a small hill when you see ahead of you two
  Stormtroopers. They seem to have stopped to answer a call of nature. A few metres
  away from them are two Speed-scooters.
  Speed-scooters are actually foot scooters, i.e. a board with wheels, on which the
  rider places one foot. The rider holds onto the handles (a bar coming up from the
  board) and uses their other foot to push the scooter along.
  Worse still, if the PCs attack these guys, they will find there are two more pairs of
  Stormtroopers a short distance off. One pair will come in for the attack, the other pair
  will set off to try to get back to the ground station.
  Yes, they really are on foot-scooters. Yes, of course the PCs can outrun them on
  foot, but if the Stormtroopers will insist on trying to get away on these scooters.
  Really heroic PCs will, of course, get one of the first foot-scooters and pursue the
  other pair using the foot-scooters. They can then heroically leap from theirs onto the
  stormtroopers' scooters, etc.
  Whatever happens the stormtroopers will eventually get knocked off, crash into
  trees or whatever, so the PCs win. The only exception is the very last scooter, which
  will be knocked over by a bloody huge log swinging down from a tree. The unlucky
  trooper will then be jumped on by twenty-ish Eyuks…
  [2] The Eyuks
  The Eyuks are small, cute, furry and act as though they are constantly on some
  form of speed drug (they are – observant PCs will notice that the Eyuks are
  constantly chewing certain local leaves. If the PCs try this too, give them Player
  Handout 7).
  Booky the Wooky should find the Eyuks strangely interesting, while Handy will
  want to kill them. Give these two PCs the correct sections of Player Handout 4.
  The Eyuks can't speak any common tongue that the PCs can understand, but are
  generally very friendly and will try to communicate with cute noises and waving
  paws.
  What the PCs will quickly find out is that the little so-and-sos also have a strong
  desire to possess any sort of shiny stuff. They will pick-pocket the PCs (and then
  reluctantly give back what they've stolen but only if the PCs notice). Pretend to make
  rolls for this but have them pick-pocket whatever will really irritate the players.
  They will accompany the PCs to the ground station (if the PCs wish) and will help
  if the PCs let them keep some of the shiny things (they can be fobbed off with
  glittery rubbish, e.g. some of Louie's clothing). If the Eyuks are feeling nice they can
  even show the PCs a cunning path by which they can creep up right behind the
  ground station without being noticed.
  [3] Breaking into the Ground Station
  Okay, assume the Stormtroopers are really thick and let the PCs get in there
  somehow. Even if the troopers manage to alert the Braindead Star that they're under
  attack the PCs should find the code and turn off the force shield before the enemy
  reinforcements arrive.
  You don't need maps or NPC stats, just have a short bit of fun – this bit’s pretty
  boring otherwise, but they need the codes to get anywhere in section 5.
  The security code they need to land on the Braindead Star is 696969.
  The force shield (of course) has a huge on/off switch, but it might be more fun if
  they don't notice this at first and have to spend a while playing with the computer.
  
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  The computer will eventually show them a plan of the building with the huge switch
  highlighted and a flashing sign saying "Use this switch you idiots".
  Once the PCs have returned to the Millennium Bug in the forest, it should be no
  problem for the ship to reluctantly haul itself into space.
  SECTION 5: LANDING ON THE BRAINDEAD STAR
  SUMMARY
  Using the stolen security codes the PCs must land on the Braindead Star. They
  can easily avoid a search by the Stormtroopers and must make their way to the
  centre of the Star. There are various events that will happen on the way to, or from,
  the centre of the Star.
  KEY CHARACTER: DAFT VADER
  Daft Vader wears seriously black gear with a black spiked helmet, black leather
  boots, black gloves, black belt and black neuro-whip. He also (of course) carries a
  light sabre, although his sabre glows with an unearthly darkness.
  Make up his stats as you wish – he is genuinely very skilled with his light sabre
  but, as with all super-villains, would much rather spend long minutes telling the PCs
  the horrible fate that awaits them rather than actually killing them off. This should
  usually give them enough time to make good their escape.
  [1] Landing on the Braindead Star
  When they approach the Braindead Star the PCs will be requested to give the
  security code:
  A gruff voice comes over your comm link: "Unidentified ship approaching the
  Imperial Braindead Star. This is Imperial security. Please identify yourself and send
  the secret code."
  The PCs can call their ship anything they like – if they say they're a group of
  rebels, the security officer will simply laugh it off "Very funny guys!" and ask them for
  the security code.
  They must now give the security code. If they give it verbally, the Imperial security
  officer will reply that it must be sent by computer. Why? Well, isn't it obvious –
  anyone could say the code verbally. How else can the Braindead Star be sure that
  the PCs' ship isn't harbouring a professional team of highly motivated rebel suicide
  commandos?
  All the PCs have to do is to get Holly to send the code (696969) correctly.
  Naturally, Holly will have trouble remembering the number:
  Okay, preparing to send code 966996… er, was that right?
  Just worry the PCs… Holly will eventually send the correct code, though they will
  have to get Holly to repeat the code in pairs as he sends it: 69, 69, 69, or even 6, 9,
  6, 9, 6, 9.
  As they approach the Braindead Star closer:
  
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  The voice you hear now is a soft, computerised female voice – rather sexy
  actually: "Thank you for your security code. Please proceed to docking bay 475A.
  That's the fourth one down on the left, past the incredibly big meson cannons."
  Give G-VS ("Jeeves") Player Handout 8.
  [2] Landing Bay 475A
  Actually it doesn't matter where they land, they will see the same scene:
  The landing bay door slides across slowly to reveal a roughly rectangular box big
  enough to swallow about ten Millennium Bug's. It's an easy job to move inside and
  link up to the airlock.
  Well, it should be. Check that Handy (or whoever) makes their Formidable Pilot
  roll. Otherwise they break something against the interior hull of the Braindead Star
  and get a rather haughty male computerised voice saying "Mind the Gap!"
  There will be no further communication with the ship unless the PCs told the
  original security officer that they had someone really important on board, or any
  other excuse that would mean a detachment of Stormtroopers should be sent to
  meet the ship. If the latter is the case, the PCs should get off the ship before they
  arrive or, if the PCs just don't respond to anyone knocking on their airlock door, then
  the Stormtroopers will wander off again, presuming that they got the wrong docking
  bay.
  The PCs can then get out of the ship.
  Beyond the airlock is a large open chamber, presumably for handling cargo.
  There is only one exit, but it is neither guarded nor locked.
  Anyone bothering to look around (or making a Difficult Perception task, if no one
  bothers to look) will notice that just inside the airlock door (that they have come
  through) there is a small computer map with a "You are Here" sign on it.
  Using this map, they can easily work out a route to get to the centre of the
  Braindead Star. However, it will involve walking through about a mile of corridors,
  using lifts, etc.
  The following nuggets should occur in the order given, at some suitable point
  during the trip to, or from, the centre of the Braindead Star (so if necessary, come
  back to these in Section 7).
  [3] Seeing Evil
  At some point while the PCs are running about the corridors of the Braindead Star
  (preferably not while they're being pursued by stormtroopers, and before they
  actually meet Daft Vader), tell them the following:
  You're moving stealthily through the corridors when suddenly you notice a wall
  viewscreen come to life.
  It looks like some sort of Braindead Star-wide public annoucement system. The
  view is of a small room somewhere in the Braindead Star. There is a line of four
  Imperial officers, all neatly at attention, with a smattering of other lieutenants and
  guards in the background. Daft Vader paces back and forth, then stalks to the first of
  the line and begins reading aloud from a little roll of paper.
  "Commander Wetbottom, your charge is cowardice in the face of the rebel enemy
  on Hoth… for which the sentence is death." The light sabre swings around, the
  commander's head drops neatly to the ground and rolls away. The body grasps for
  the head and begins to run after it, then remembers that it's dead, and collapses in a
  
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  heap. The head comes to a rest at Daft Vader's feet. The lips just manage to form a
  single word: "Oops."
  "Commander Floggit, your charge is failure to capture that pitiful group organised
  by that old fool Obi Uncle Noby… for which the sentence is death." The light sabre
  sings through the air and neatly cleaves the man in two, from head to foot.
  "Corporal Bluebottle, your charge is failure to remember two sugars in my tea
  yesterday morning… for which the sentence is death." You see another lieutenant
  step forward from behind Daft Vader with the list of sentences: "Er, your Vaderness,
  er, I don't think that was actually…" But too late – Vader's light sabre cuts Bluebottle
  into four separate pieces.
  "Er, your Vaderness…" says the lieutenant, signalling to the others around him.
  "Private Kenny, your charge is being called Kenny… for which the sentence is…
  DEATH!"
  You can see the lieutenants in the background beginning to close in around
  Vader, but the light sabre leaps out again and Kenny's body falls to the ground,
  sliced neatly like a loaf of bread.
  [If the PCs don't come up with the "You b*st*rd – you killed Kenny" line then one
  of the lieutenants will do so.]
  Five of the heaviest lieutenants now leap on Daft Vader, who is crying, "Die, die,
  my light sabre needs blood," while continuing to slice at Kenny's remains.
  After a few moments they restrain him, saying things like: "I think you've had a
  little too much excitement for one day, haven't you my lord Daft?" Daft calms down
  and lets his remaining lieutenants lead him out of the chamber.
  [4] Jumping Across the Chasm
  You know the scene: a wide chasm within the Braindead Star, an extensible
  bridge, etc. It's the bit where the kids have to swing across the chasm because they
  shot out the bridge controls.
  Well, this chasm is only 5 feet wide, the PCs will come under heavy fire from a
  ledge somewhere above them (but the Stormtroopers never actually hit, do they?)
  and all of them except for Layme have to make a 5D task roll under their
  Endurance to pluck up enough courage to jump across. If they are given some form
  of rope to swing across, then the roll becomes 1D under Endurance. The Booky
  Wooky is the obvious choice to swing or climb with a rope or something, or he could
  simply bridge the gap with a foot on one side and an arm the other, at about head
  height, then let the others swing across on his arm or something.
  If they really can't get across, someone will eventually put their foot over the edge
  and find that the rest of the chasm is actually just painted on – it's an optical illusion
  – they can just walk straight across! (If anyone asks, explain that this is a cheap
  tournament so we couldn't afford the full set, just painted props…)
  [5] Running into the Stormtroopers
  This is the bit where they run into a group of troopers in a corridor.
  If the PCs run away, the stormtroopers hesitate then run after them, firing (and
  missing).
  If the PCs run at the stormtroopers, the latter will run away but, inevitably they will
  eventually end up in a corridor or room absolutely stacked full of stormtroopers. It's
  now time for the PCs to start running!
  At some point after this, the PCs will find themselves in a dead end. There is only
  one exit – it's marked "Escape Chute". The PCs will find themselves hideously
  
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  outnumbered and will begin to take genuine damage from the stormtroopers if they
  don't go down the chute.
  Once in the chute, the PCs cannot stop themselves from sliding. They will pass
  through a series of little trap doors (preventing them from climbing back up the
  chute). The trap doors are marked, in series (leave a few seconds between reading
  each out):
  • Escape Chute – Waste Only
  • Escape Chute – Waste Only, for Compression
  • Chute to Waste Compressor
  • Chute to Dark Smelly Waste Compressor with Something Nasty Lurking in it
  Okay, so they end up in the last one – the waste compressor room.
  This place is dark and smelly. You've all landed up to your knees in something
  which might once have been called water but is now almost solid enough to stand
  on. You really don't want to find out what makes it that solid. Around you, you can
  see the waste for a typical Imperial station: half-eaten Bontha burgers, empty cans
  of Eyuk juice and old issues of Play-Wooky.
  It is traditional for the PCs to spend some time floundering around, moaning
  about the damage it has done to their clothing, hair, etc. It is really, really smelly
  down here. (But if they spend a short while here before getting out, what the hell,
  use Player Handout 3 anyway).
  There is a single, armoured door at one end. It's quite clear that the two side walls
  are intended to move – inwards – the general intention being to squish anything in
  this room. Thankfully they're not moving at the moment. Something else is moving in
  here with you, though…
  Now they've found the door they will realise that they can't break or blast their way
  out (blaster shots will ricochet dangerously around the compressor room and
  threaten to kill the rest of the characters). There is, however, a computer control
  panel beside the door. C4PO (or a computer-ite amongst the PCs) can plug into this
  and try to hack the lock (it's the only way to get out of here, so encourage them).
  There is a multi-tentacled horror in here. It will appear to attack the PCs. They can
  fire at it if they wish (see dangerous ricochets above). In fact, it is searching for any
  food on them and will try to dig in their pockets for a left-over Bontha Megachew or
  somesuch. If they don't have any food, then it will eventually give up and ignore
  them. If they do manage to seriously hurt it then it will dunk a few of them, poke one
  of them in eye or somesuch.
  Eventually, whoever is working on the door lock will get the following result:
  At last – a satisfying buzz and click at the door lock. You press the open button,
  but nothing happens. Then you realise the buzzing is still going, in fact there is a
  background hum of heavy machinery starting up. The walls begin to move inwards…
  The PCs can hack the lock to get the walls to stop and the door to open, or…
  If the walls start getting really close to squishing them, they will hear a hideous
  screech and the tentacled monster will start extending its own tentacles to hold the
  walls apart (*this* monster has grown too big to creep out of the waste compartment
  before it gets crushed itself). The tentacles will eventually pull the PCs away from
  the lock, do a bit of manipulation itself, open the door and chuck the PCs out.
  They can then continue on their way (the Stormtroopers are too thick to have
  worked out where they are yet).
  
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  [6] Obi Meets Daft
  At some point, Obi MUST be forced to meet Daft Vader, even if it's by the
  weirdest possible coincidence (e.g. just when the PCs think they're safe, a hidden
  door in the wall opens and Daft steps out, with a relieved sigh, pulling up the black
  zip on his black trousers…)
  The two should face off (don't let anyone else intervene – Daft throws up a force
  shield or something just to enforce this), then let Daft start his long monologue:
  "After all these years Obi. You always were the lucky one. The nice silver Jelli
  Knight robes, so resplendent, eh? And did I get a neat Imperial Navy uniform in
  return? No, for some reason the design department came up with this black leather
  suit. I ask you – did they put any imagination into this? Even a bit of bright gold braid
  along the linings? No! NO! No pretty insignia for Daft – he's got to look menacing –
  all black! WELL IT'S BORING AFTER 20 YEARS! But can I get stores to issue me
  with alternative gear? NO! It's 'Sorry Mr. Daft Vader sir, but we have orders – It's
  black socks, black pants, black boots' (did I mention that my feet are killing me too?)
  etc. Leader of the entire Imperial fleet and they can't even manage a nice silver
  medal or something."
  If the PCs have any sense whatsoever they should have scarpered while Daft is
  waxing lyrical. Provided they creep in a subtle manner towards the door they should
  get out. After a few seconds they will hear: "And another thing… hold on, where did
  everyone go. You rotten rebel creeps!"
  [7] If Things Are Going Too Fast
  This bit is just a distraction to slow down play if things are going too fast.
  The PCs encounter a Gigeresque alien (ala Alien, Aliens, Aliens3, etc.). It looks a
  little bit confused as to quite where it is, but will hiss nastily, slither, drool and
  generally look real nasty. If the PCs try to shoot at it they might hit but it will generally
  dodge back around a corner or something. This alien is, in fact, a strict vegetarian,
  searching desperately for an infusion of coleslaw, having escaped from last year’s
  fun scenario.
  SECTION 6: PLANTING THE BOMB
  SUMMARY
  The PCs find out that the Holy Detonator, being several thousand years old, is a
  dud. However, they can find a self-destruct mechanism, although it can only be
  reached using The Forks.
  [1] The Centre of the Braindead Star
  Once you want the PCs to find the centre of the Star, tell them:
  You move through the inner corridors, which seem dusty and unused. At last you
  pass a tiny food auto-dispenser, turn a corner and there ahead of you is a small
  door, marked "Room at the Centre of the Braindead Star. No admittance, except to
  authorised staff."
  
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  The door is unlocked and the PCs can walk in, but if you want to delay them, let
  them think it's alarmed or booby-trapped or whatever.
  If they bother to play with the food auto-dispenser outside they will find it is faulty
  and will only dispense sets of cutlery. This is because they need some forks in a
  minute and they might somehow have lost their own mystic forks earlier in the game.
  The room is about 20 feet square and empty, apart from a large X in the centre of
  the floor.
  If the PCs look more closely in the centre of the X, they will find:
  There is a small panel in the floor, in the centre of the X. It has the following text
  inscribed faintly upon its surface: "This inaugural plaque was set here on the 43rd
  Day of Imperial Year 9999 by the evil Lord Daft Vader. Long live the Emperor and
  anyone else with several million soldiers to back up his evil threats."
  Okay, the PCs should really try to plant the bomb now.
  If they press the detonator button less than three times, nothing happens.
  If they press it exactly three times, it begins ticking, but only for a few seconds.
  If they press it more than three times, it will tick for a few more seconds, then
  stop, then there is a little "Phhht" and a small spark, but no explosion.
  IT'S A DUD. It might take a while to get it through to them, but it is. It's
  hopeless, they can't destroy the Braindead Star in this manner.
  However, just before they finally despair, get them all to roll Difficult Perception
  rolls. Even if they fail, tell them the following:
  As you're looking round in despair you notice a faint glint on the edge of the panel
  in the centre of the X on the floor. On closer examination, it appears that it may be
  possible to prize the panel up. What could be underneath it?
  It should be easy to prize free. Tell them:
  Beneath the panel is a strange mechanism, with four small holes in two rows.
  Each hole is just 2 millimetres in diameter and about 5 millimetres from the next
  hole. Above the two rows of holes, written in red text, is the following: "Self-destruct
  system. Do not use unless you're really, really desperate." There is a small screen
  just below the holes, but this is currently blank.
  It's easy really, you have to plug one fork into each set of four slots (the four slots
  line up with the fork prongs). Try to make sure it's Louie who works this out (or at
  least is the one with the forks), so someone gets to say "Use the forks, Louie, use
  the forks…"
  Once they've inserted the forks, tell them:
  The little screen comes to life and the number "99" appears in it. You hear a soft,
  sexy, female voice say: "Thank you for activating the self-destruct mechanism. The
  Braindead Star will self-destruct when the count reaches zero. You are advised to
  vacate the area immediately. Alternatively you have a short period in which to
  ensure that your life insurance is up to date. Have a nice day."
  [2] Escape
  It's simple – all the PCs have to do now is escape before the Braindead Star
  blows itself up.
  Throughout the remainder of the adventure, count down gradually from 99. Don't
  get to zero until you know the PCs are going to take off.
  
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  If they are at the end of the tournament time, they should get out without too
  much problem. Just scare them with lots of worried Stormtroopers running about like
  headless chickens. If they haven't faced off with Daft Vader, then at least run Nugget
  6 of Section 5.
  If they have plenty of time, run some more of the Nuggets (3 through 7) from
  Section 5.
  They should eventually arrive in their landing bay, have Stormtroopers chase
  them onto the ship (last majestic battle and all that) and then take off.
  As the Millennium Bug drags itself out into space, you are aware of a sudden
  brightening of the sky behind you. A new sun is forming where the Braindead Star
  was hovering. Little bits of the spacestation are thrown outwards, narrowly missing
  your ship. It's hard to believe, but you've done it. The threat to the freedom of the
  universe is over… until the next BITS fun tournament, at least.
  That's the end. If they still have some spare time, they can work out whether
  anyone is going to hit it off with Layme, etc.!
  
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  GM'S NOTES ON THE PCS:
  G-VS ("Jeeves")
  Has a limp because he once had a spare light sabre implanted in his butt. Should
  the PCs lose one or more light sabres, then this spare can be brought into play. (Tell
  the PCs that a look of surprise comes over G-VS's face - he reaches behind him
  and, rather sheepishly, brings out a light sabre - freshly oiled.) Jeeves will no longer
  walk with a limp after this.
  Should the PCs really, really need something at a later date in the adventure, this
  same ploy can be used to provide them with stuff. Nothing too big though.
  Jeeves should object strongly to any other items being hidden where the light
  sabre came from.
  The Booky Wooky's Bad Stomach
  At some suitable point (preferably when the PCs are all in a confined space, like a
  lift, or the ship) give them all Player Handout 3. Make sure you give the right strip to
  the right people.
  Psionic Skills
  Obi Uncle Noby and (to a very limited degree) Louie Skywallower have attained
  mystic powers (effectively psionics) through study of The Forks. This is a mystic
  power somehow associated with the power of dining forks. No, I don't understand
  either, but it seems to work for the Jelli Knights.
  The following skills are to be played for maximum comical effect, particularly
  where Skywallower tries anything.
  Each skill costs one Psi point to use (get the player to reduce their Psi accordingly
  for each use; when it reaches zero they cannot use these skills until they have
  rested for several days).
  Obi's skills have got less reliable as he gets older. Skywallower is just plain inept.
  Confuse allows Obi to induce confusion in the mind of a single person - they will
  tend to forget what they were doing and wander off somewhere else.
  Persuade allows Obi to plant a specific suggestion in the mind of a single person.
  He has to speak the suggestion aloud, for example if about to be arrested by an
  Imperial Marine he might 'suggest' to them that "I am not the person you're looking
  for." If he's lucky the marine will hopefully wander off in search of some other
  hapless victim.
  Telekinesis allows Obi to move very small items around. However, the amount of
  mental effort involved makes it look as though he's straining to lift several tons of
  elephant… Skywallower can just about manage to move a matchstick at several feet
  range.
  Telepathy allows Skywallower to think he can read peoples' thoughts at up to 10
  metres or so. In reality any readings he gets will be completely wrong.
  
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  PLAYER HANDOUTS 1
  Name tags for the various players:
  LOUIE SKYWALLOWER
  OBI UNCLE NOBY
  "JEEVES" (C4PO G-VS)
  "HANDY" SOLO
  "BOOKY" THE WOOKY
  PRINCESS LAYME
  
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  PLAYER HANDOUT 2
  TOP SECRET - REBELS ONLY
  COMPUTER PLANS FOR THE BRAINDEAD STAR
  (Fold here)
  YES, REALLY, REALLY SECRET
  DON'T OPEN THIS UNLESS YOU'RE A TRUE BLUE REBEL TYPE
  (Fold here)
  VERY IMPORTANT COMPUTER PRINT-OUT
  THE “BRAINDEATH” STAR
  - THE WEAK POINTS
  PLANT A
  BIG BOMB
  HERE...
  ...THEN
  RUN AWAY
  VERY FAST
  
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  PLAYER HANDOUT 3
  Tear or cut up each strip and give it to the appropriate player.
  LOUIE SKYWALLOWER
  There is a seriously bad stink in the air. It's not at all clear where the noxious
  fumes have come from but you're pretty certain that it's one of your compatriots.
  That's worrying, as the smell is a combination of eau de toilet with a sewage farm
  thrown in for good measure. If the Imperial police were around they would probably
  arrest the offender for the "release of a chemical weapon in a public place".
  Yousers, let's hope this was a one-off event!
  OBI UNCLE NOBY
  There is a seriously bad stink in the air. It's not at all clear where the noxious
  fumes have come from but you're pretty certain that it's one of your compatriots.
  That's worrying, as the smell is a combination of eau de toilet with a sewage farm
  thrown in for good measure. If the Imperial police were around they would probably
  arrest the offender for the "release of a chemical weapon in a public place".
  Yousers, let's hope this was a one-off event!
  "JEEVES" (C4PO G-VS)
  There is a seriously bad stink in the air. It's not at all clear where the noxious
  fumes have come from but you're pretty certain that it's one of your compatriots.
  That's worrying, as the smell is a combination of eau de toilet with a sewage farm
  thrown in for good measure. If the Imperial police were around they would probably
  arrest the offender for the "release of a chemical weapon in a public place".
  Yousers, let's hope this was a one-off event!
  PRINCESS LAYME
  There is a seriously bad stink in the air. It's not at all clear where the noxious
  fumes have come from but you're pretty certain that it's one of your compatriots.
  That's worrying, as the smell is a combination of eau de toilet with a sewage farm
  thrown in for good measure. If the Imperial police were around they would probably
  arrest the offender for the "release of a chemical weapon in a public place".
  Yousers, let's hope this was a one-off event!
  "BOOKY" THE WOOKY
  You're vaguely aware that your stomach rumbled and you have just released a
  dose of noxious gases. It's an everyday event for you, so don't worry about it.
  "HANDY" SOLO
  You're vaguely aware that Booky's stomach rumbled and he has just released a
  dose of noxious gases. It's an everyday event and your nose is immune to the
  resulting chemical weapons attack, so don't worry about it.
  
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  PLAYER HANDOUT 4
  FOR THE BOOKY WOOKY ONLY
  Hmmm…
  all these soft furry Eyuks
  You have this strange mix of feelings
  One moment you want to tear them apart for being such soft idiotic creatures…
  The next moment you're thinking that it's a long time since you've seen a
  female Wooky.
  Okay, so the Eyuks are a bit smaller, but…
  FOR HANDY SOLO ONLY
  AAAAARGH!!!
  Stupid
  Cute
  Cuddly
  Creatures
  Kill…
  KILL…
  How many interesting recipes can you think up that involve Eyuk?
  
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  PLAYER HANDOUT 5
  MILLENNIUM BUG - “Princess Gunnhilde” Class Far Trader
  Ship’s Data
  Hull: 200 dt, Streamlined, Size Rating 8, Armour 10, Structure 6, MCr34.2 (GT: 200-
  ton SL Hull, DR 100, PD 4, EMass 284, LMass 557, HP 22,500, Size Modifier +8.)
  Drives: Jump 2, Manoeuvre 1G, Power Plant 1. (GT: Airspeed 1,645.)
  Weaponry: Fire Control Rating 0. Turrets 1 & 2: one Laser (3/3/2/0) (GT: 360-MJ),
  one Sandcaster.
  Crew/Cargo: 4-6 Crew, 6 Passengers, 10 Low Berths, 10 Staterooms, 54 dt Cargo.
  Electronics: Basic Controls. Sensor Rating A1 P3 J0. (GT: Basic Bridge.)
  Fuel: Fuel scoops, purification (6 hours), 40.7 dt.
  Sub-Craft: Air-raft in dedicated docking bay.
  Notes: The “Princess Gunnhilde” Class trader is just one of the many variants on
  the ubiquitous far trader (Empress Marava, Prince Ferren, etc.), providing Jump-2
  capability compared to “free traders” (e.g. Beowulf class).
  
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  PLAYER HANDOUT 6
  Hi Guys and Gals
  Sorry I forgot to mention, but as a covert member of the rebels I have received
  the most up to date information on where the Braindead Star can be found.
  It is currently in orbit around the world of Wibble, where it is being upgraded to
  transmit an additional couple of thousand televideo channels.
  It is protected by a force shield, so you won't be able to fly up to it (that would be
  too easy, wouldn't it). You'll have to land on Wibble and make your way to the
  ground station there.
  You need to break in there and turn off the force field so that you can fly up to the
  Braindead Star without being instantly vaporised. You should also be able to steal
  some security codes (from the ground station) so that you can land the Millennium
  Bug on the Braindead Star without being shot at.
  Good luck with the Sacred C4 and Holy Detonator. Don't forget the instructions on
  how to use it. If you don't follow them to the letter, then your attempt will fail and Daft
  Vader and his evil forces will rule the universe for ever.
  Yours, hiding back in the jungle (all the above sounds way too dangerous for me,
  mateys!)
  YODEL
  
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  PLAYER HANDOUT 7
  Give this to anyone who tries chewing the same leaves as the Eyuks:
  YOUR CHARACTER MUST PERFORM THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS EXACTLY
  AS DICTATED BELOW:
  1. Spend 10 seconds forgetting who you are, what you were doing, etc.
  2. Spend the next 10 seconds in hysteria (crying or laughing).
  3. Spend the next 10 seconds speaking really slowly.
  4. Then your character will jump backwards three times and collapse.
  5. After 60 seconds of game time you will come round, feeling like you've had one
  hell of a good time. Just smile inanely and let the others try to guess what you
  were dreaming about…
  YOUR CHARACTER MUST PERFORM THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS EXACTLY
  AS DICTATED BELOW:
  1. Spend 10 seconds forgetting who you are, what you were doing, etc.
  2. Spend the next 10 seconds in hysteria (crying or laughing).
  3. Spend the next 10 seconds speaking really slowly.
  4. Then your character will jump backwards three times and collapse.
  5. After 60 seconds of game time you will come round, feeling like you've had one
  hell of a good time. Just smile inanely and let the others try to guess what you
  were dreaming about…
  YOUR CHARACTER MUST PERFORM THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS EXACTLY
  AS DICTATED BELOW:
  1. Spend 10 seconds forgetting who you are, what you were doing, etc.
  2. Spend the next 10 seconds in hysteria (crying or laughing).
  3. Spend the next 10 seconds speaking really slowly.
  4. Then your character will jump backwards three times and collapse.
  5. After 60 seconds of game time you will come round, feeling like you've had one
  hell of a good time. Just smile inanely and let the others try to guess what you
  were dreaming about…
  YOUR CHARACTER MUST PERFORM THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS EXACTLY
  AS DICTATED BELOW:
  1. Spend 10 seconds forgetting who you are, what you were doing, etc.
  2. Spend the next 10 seconds in hysteria (crying or laughing).
  3. Spend the next 10 seconds speaking really slowly.
  4. Then your character will jump backwards three times and collapse.
  5. After 60 seconds of game time you will come round, feeling like you've had one
  hell of a good time. Just smile inanely and let the others try to guess what you
  were dreaming about…
  
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  PLAYER HANDOUT 8
  "Jeeves", you think you must be in electronic heaven.
  The voice that is guiding your ship to its destination was so smooth, so calm, so
  restful.
  You think you're in love.
  [WARNING: EMOTION CHIP OVERLOAD]
  FOLLOWING THIS POINT, YOU SHOULD START:
  • Thinking about how to track down the location of the sexy computer which
  generated that voice.
   
  • Hey, it might even be a female C4P0?!
  [WARNING: EMOTION CHIP SEVERE OVERLOAD]
  • Perhaps you should check all your groinal attachments are clean and in good
  working order.
  [WARNING: EMOTION CHIP OVERLOAD - EXTREMES OF EMOTION LIKELY -
  SHORT PERIODS OF SHUTDOWN MAY BE REQUIRED]
  • Don't let anyone else know - they're already looking at you strangely, ever since
  they realised you were the only one to receive this note from the referee…
  
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  LOUIE SKYWALLOWER
  Race:
  Human
  Sex:
  Male
  Age:
  21
  Height:
  4' 6"
  Weight:
  50 kg
  Service:
  Farm boy
  Rank:
  Senior Pitchforker
  Decorations:
  Annual vulture-shooting competition, silver medal
  Attributes:
  Max
  Current
  Strength
  10
  Dexterity
  5
  Endurance
  10
  Intelligence
  3
  Education
  3
  Social
  9
  Psionics*
  2
  Skills:
  Level
  Blade (Light sabre)
  1
  Grav Vehicle
  1
  Leadership
  1
  Melee (Pitchfork)
  2
  Pilot
  1
  Pistol (Blaster)
  1
  Starship Gunnery
  1
  Telekinesis*
  1
  Telepathy*
  1
  *Psionic-based skills
  Weapons:
  Damage
  Range
  Mass
  Shots
  Blaster pistol
  5
  short
  1.5 kg
  10
  Light sabre
  7
  contact
  1 kg
  -
  Pitchfork
  1
  contact
  -
  -
  Fists
  1
  contact
  -
  -
  Equipment:
  Blaster With two power clips, each holding energy for 10 shots.
  Light sabre A 5" long metal cylinder which, when activated, extends a focused plasma
  beam about 3' in length. You never ever let it leave your possession.
  Pitchfork, extensible Looks like just a 3" metal tube, but pressing a button causes it to
  expand to 6' length and extend multiple prongs into a pitchfork configuration.
  Cr50 Your life savings.
  Hand mirror You carry it every where, and frequently use it to check your hair is in place.
  Gold comb To Stored in "Jeeves" chest compartment.
  Clothing Several wardrobes-full of high quality clothing; these are just your travelling
  'necessities' – you have several shop-fulls of clothing stored back at your uncle's farm.
  
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  Appearance:
  A handsome young man in immaculate condition. Your hair is combed to perfection and your
  clothing is the latest in designer-wear (Gianni gold lamé jacket and Levi 4893501 body-hugging heat-
  sensitive jeans). You ooze smoothness (as well as various aromatic oils which you've been told are
  absolutely irresistible to women). You are so cool you freeze water just by passing close by. Your
  charisma is so big it's sometimes difficult to fit through doorways.
  Background:
  You have spent the last 20 years of your life being bored to tears helping your uncle run his farm in
  the deserts of Tattyone (you've never quite understood the economic viability of a farm in the middle of
  the desert, a hundred miles from the nearest town, whose primary output seems to be guano from the
  huge desert vultures). Your parents were killed 20 years ago – your uncle says they were standing at
  the starport when an Imperial cruiser landed on them. Sh*t happens, eh?
  Then, one day just a few months ago, you were on the usual monthly trip into Jebadebabedi
  starport to sell guano and buy supplies, when this old man steps out of an alley and tells you that he
  has a great secret to tell you – you are in fact a Jelli (pronounced "gell-eye") knight. Not only that, so
  was your father and so was your mother, and they didn't die under an Imperial cruiser but were slain
  by the evil Daft Vader. Daft runs the Imperial security forces for this subsector and is only ever seen in
  seriously black gear with a black spiked helmet, black leather boots, black gloves, black belt and black
  neuro-whip. However, this old man (who calls himself Obi Uncle Noby) told you that you had to join
  him for training, to become a Jelli knight, learn strange mystical powers of the mind (it has something
  to do with The Forks but you didn't quite follow that bit – it sounded rather technical) and use your
  new-found powers to fight the forces of darkness. All this, to help save the galaxy for some rather neat
  babe called Layme, whom Obi says is a princess.
  It all sounded a bit dangerous to you, but then 20 years on the guano farm was starting to get to
  you. Plus, you had brought your trusty droid G-VS ("Jeeves") with you. Normally, you wouldn't be able
  to survive for more than a few hours without G-VS (who else would brush down your suit and hold your
  mirror for you while you combed your hair?) Rather than return home, you have spent the last month
  learning mystic arts in a dark cave somewhere in the desert (you're not sure where – you never were
  very good at remembering things – you wear a ring with your name engraved on the inside of it, just in
  case you should ever forget it).
  You've learned how to wield your Jelli light sabre… well Obi's let you practice with a wooden one,
  anyway. The only time you actually activated the real light sabre it resulted in a minor redecoration of
  Obi's cave – it now has a few less stalactites and Obi has twice as many 'holy relics' as he used to.
  Now Obi seems to think you're ready for the great battle. Well, his exact words were "Dear gods of
  space I can't wait any longer, I'll just have to pray the twerp doesn't trip over his own two left feet…
  where in the twelve hells of Archiax have all the decent heroes gone?"
  Today Obi brought you and G-VS back to Jebadebabedi where he purchased passage on what
  must be the most run-down little runt of a starship you've ever seen. Judging by their attire, neither the
  captain "Handy" Solo, nor his engineer (a Wooky called "Booky") seem to have the slightest idea what
  the word "chic" means. Never mind, perhaps you can educate them on the benefits of good designer
  wear. Best of all, this princess Layme babe has just turned up. And she looks pretty!
  The Others:
  G-VS ("Jeeves") is a Ling Standard Products Model C4PO G-VS Humaniform Valet Robot. He
  does absolutely everything for you, is totally obedient and you could survive for about five minutes
  without him. He looks fairly human apart from his head, which was clearly modelled on a deformed
  sugar cube. He wears an artificial moustache to try to make him look more human. It doesn't really
  work.
  Obi Uncle Noby seems to be an interesting chap who's taught you almost everything you know
  (well, you don't tend to learn much on a guano farm in 20 years…). He's obviously very wise, but he
  does seem to use rather a lot of long words that you have difficult understanding. His dress sense is
  awful – he's been wearing the same worn-out grey robe for the last 120 years!
  "Handy" Solo seems a rather uncouth spacer type – judging by the state of his ship, presumably
  he has to spend all his free time trying to stop it falling apart.
  "Booky" Wooky is nothing more than an over-grown orang-utan. "It" doesn’t even wear clothes,
  and its fur would need several weeks at a specialist hair design salon to make it look neat. You notice
  that "it" always seems to have several technical manuals hanging under one arm.
  Layme is a BABE. Wow! You're sure she'll be really impressed with your mystic powers (if you can
  remember what they're supposed to be). A bit of light sabre fighting against that Daft Vader chap, a
  few leaps across chasms and other death-defying tricks and you're sure she'll make you her prince! If
  not, then perhaps you could wax lyrical about the difficulty you had resisting the temptations of the
  Dark Side of The Forks?
  
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  OBI UNCLE NOBY
  Race:
  Human
  Sex:
  Male
  Age:
  75
  Height:
  5' 6"
  Weight:
  60 kg
  Service:
  Jelli Knight
  Rank:
  None
  Decorations:
  Starburst for Extreme Heroism
  Attributes:
  Max
  Current
  Strength
  5
  Dexterity
  6
  Endurance
  5
  Intelligence
  11
  Education
  11
  Social
  8
  Psionics*
  7
  Skills:
  Level
  Blade (Light sabre)
  5
  Confuse*
  3
  Diplomacy
  2
  Disguise
  1
  First Aid
  1
  Persuade*
  3
  Perception
  3
  Stealth
  2
  Telekinesis*
  1
  *Psionic-based skills
  Weapons:
  Damage
  Range
  Mass
  Shots
  Light sabre
  7D
  contact
  1 kg
  -
  Fists
  1D-3
  contact
  -
  -
  Equipment:
  Light sabre A 5" long metal cylinder which, when activated, extends a focused
  plasma beam about 3' in length. You never ever let it leave your possession.
  Jelli Knight's Robes 120 years old - more sort of grey than silver now.
  Hand computer Contains an extensive database of erotic video clips (20 years
  alone in a cave is a long time).
  Cr10 You've just spent your last few credits buying passage on "Handy" Solo's ship.
  
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  Appearance:
  You wear the regulation silver robe of a Jelli knight. You have worn since you were initiated into the
  Jelli order, some 120 years ago. Okay, so after 120 years it's pretty much just a grey robe, but you
  know it's a knight's robe. Your Jelli powers have allowed you to resist aging to some degree but you're
  still basically a wizened old man.
  Background:
  People often have trouble with your title – the name Jelli is pronounced "gell-eye" and absolutely
  never "jelly". You are trained in the mystical powers of The Forks and accordingly wear several finely-
  tuned energy-sensitive dinner forks on a chain around your neck (under your robe).
  About 20 years ago your last compatriots – Archibald Skywallower and his wife Henrietta – were
  murdered by the evil Daft Vader. Daft runs the Imperial security forces for this subsector and is only
  ever seen in seriously black gear with a black spiked helmet, black leather boots, black gloves, black
  belt and black neuro-whip. He is your antithesis and you hate him with every one of your aching bones.
  Okay, so basically he, like Archibald, was one of your last pupils – Archibald chose the path of light
  and good, Daft chose the path of cash and good living, working for the Emperor. You have never
  forgiven him (he could at least have shared some of the cash with you!) You have spent the last 20
  years hiding in a desert cave on the planet of Tattyone, near the starport of Jebadebabedi, trying to
  avoid Daft Vader's evil stormtroopers. You'd overheard several years ago that there was a guano
  seller who visited occasionally, whose name was Louie Skywallower. You were biding your time, trying
  to research the history of Archibald and Henrietta to see if they might have managed to have a child
  while you weren't watching, or perhaps whether this Louie was some form of long-lost relative.
  Then, just over a month ago, you were tracked down by Princess Layme. She had a terrible tale to
  tell: Daft Vader has created a huge moon-sized space station which is able to beam endless channels
  of satellite television into the homes of every inhabitant of any unsuspecting planet, turning the locals
  into dribbling insane idiots.
  You couldn't afford to wait and recruited Louie the next time he came into the starport, along with
  his 'valet' robot G-VS ("Jeeves"). You have spent the last month trying to train Louie in the mystic ways
  of the Jelli and the fighting arts of the light sabre. With another Skywallower to train up as a Jelli
  knight, perhaps you might be able to beat Daft Vader at his own game!? Okay, after a month you've
  pretty much given up on the idea. Louie will only wear conspicuous designer wear, has to stop training
  every five minutes to adjust his hair, and can be outwitted by a particularly dim brick. The one time you
  let him practice with a real light sabre (rather than the wooden stick you started off with) he tried to
  redesign the interior of your cave by carving huge lumps out of it.
  Frankly you were almost at the point of telling Layme not to bother, but in sheer desperation you've
  decided to try to help her yourself. Perhaps if you drag Louie and that robot of his along they can act
  as a distraction (i.e. cannon-fodder) in a critical situation. You haven't the heart to tell the lad though –
  dim though he is, he really thinks he's hero material.
  You're a bit worried that he might have overheard last night when, in sheer frustration, you cried
  out: "Dear gods of space I can't wait any longer, I'll just have to pray the twerp doesn't trip over his own
  two left feet… where in the twelve hells of Archiax have all the decent heroes gone?"
  Today, you brought Louie and G-VS back to Jebadebabedi where you intended to meet up with
  princess Layme and purchase passage on a ship out of here. Inflation being what it is, your life
  savings could barely afford passage on what must be the most run-down little runt of a starship you've
  ever seen. You have at least heard of the captain "Handy" Solo – his exploits as a smuggler are
  legendary, which means you're halfway certain he'll dump you lot out the airlock as soon as you're off
  the planet. His engineer (a Wooky called "Booky") seems to be the key factor in keeping the ship from
  falling apart. At least princess Layme has turned up on time.
  The Others:
  Louie Skywallower was your last best hope for peace. (Or was that Babylon 5?) Your hopes were
  dashed when you realised he is an inept idiot. Looks like you'll have to save the universe yourself.
  G-VS ("Jeeves") is a Ling Standard Products Model C4PO G-VS Humaniform Valet Robot.
  Jeeves is problem quite useful, if only he could short-circuit his cleaning programs for a few minutes.
  Unfortunately he wears an artificial moustache to make his sugar-cube head look more human!
  "Handy" Solo is a renowned smuggler but you're wondering how in the universe he ever escaped
  capture in the wreck that he calls the Millennium Bug.
  "Booky" Wooky resembles a huge orang-utan – a little untidy and with a strange instinct for
  collecting technical manuals. It probably needs them all to keep the Millennium Bug running.
  Layme is a royal princess – the Jelli Knights are sworn to protect and obey such people. YOU
  MUST COMPLETE HER MISSION AT ALL COSTS: THE FREEDOM OF THE KNOWN UNIVERSE
  DEPENDS UPON YOUR HEROISM!
  
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  C4PO G-VS ("JEEVES")
  Race:
  Ling Standard Products Model C4PO G-VS Humaniform
  Valet Robot
  Sex:
  Emulates human male
  Age:
  Internal chronometer indicates 20 years of continuous
  operation
  Height:
  6' 0"
  Weight:
  200 kg
  Service:
  Programmed as Valet Robot
  Rank:
  None
  Decorations:
  None
  Attributes:
  Max
  Current
  Strength
  7
  Dexterity
  9
  Endurance
  7
  Intelligence
  10
  Education
  10
  Social
  10
  Skills:
  Level
  Administration
  3
  Astrogation
  3
  Computer
  3
  Diplomacy
  3
  Grav Craft
  3
  Medical
  3
  Perception
  3
  Pistol (finger)
  1
  Steward
  3
  Weapons:
  Damage
  Range
  Mass
  Shots
  Finger laser pistol
  5
  short
  -
  1
  Equipment:
  Cleaning kit You have an access panel in your chest in which you keep a range of
  electronic cleaning gadgets, sprays, etc., a holo-mirror and an extensive selection of
  hair-dressing equipment. You also have a plug-in groinal attachment for your hoover
  extension. Your left leg has a built-in extensible ironing board and you carry a steam
  iron in your chest compartment, which also contains a couple of spare moustaches.
  Finger laser pistol Concealed within your right index finger is a single-shot laser
  pistol. One of your previous owners installed it as an emergency defence measure
  for warding off muggers and the like. You've never actually had to fire it but you
  assume it would work.
  Cr1,000 Looking after Mr. Skywallower is costly, so you always keep some spare
  cash on you in case you need a few more gallons of hair gel.
  
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  Appearance:
  Your head is slightly angular but otherwise you appear fairly similar to a human, having a soft
  synthetic flesh covering a humanoid torso and limbs. You also wear a striking moustache (artificial, of
  course) to try to de-emphasise your angular head.
  You are exceptionally proud of the fact that you are a great improvement over your predecessor –
  the rather sad, metallic, C3PO line of robots. However, your lack of a strictly human form means that
  you prefer to wear loose clothing (jogging gear) to try to look more human.
  Background:
  By Imperial Law, a robot is simply a machine designed to carry out the tasks and orders given by a
  designated superior. You have been assigned various roles over the past 20 years.
  As an advanced C4PO model, you have recently been fitted with an emotion chip. You're awaiting
  a slight adjustment as it does seem to be a little over-sensitive at the moment. It does mean that when
  you get excited you sometimes have to shut yourself down for a few moments to prevent an overload.
  The rest of the time you have a refined air and you can always be depended upon for a common
  sense solution to the problems of your owner – Mr. Skywallower. You are programmed to call
  everyone you meet as "Mister [their name]". This sometimes extends to inanimate objects as well. You
  are quite friendly with "Mr. Steam Iron" and "Mr. Hair Gel", "Mr. Alien with a blaster pointed at my
  head", etc. There are exceptions: clearly females are called "Mrs…", princesses are called
  "Princess…", etc.
  Your key enjoyment in life is carrying out the utility tasks that you were designed for. You have a
  busy life: cleaning, dressing and hair-dressing Mr. Skywallower. You are also an expert cook, can
  clean his clothes and interact with other people on his behalf (you are a smooth, cool, diplomatic type,
  except when your emotion chip goes into overload).
  Your memory banks have a wide variety of databases containing all sorts of trivia, from 1,376
  methods for stain removal from underwear, to the 4,903,277 regulations of the spacelanes. In fact you
  were once employed on a trading ship and thus have been programmed for interstellar astrogation
  and stewarding of passengers. Part of your programming prevents you from causing deliberate harm
  to any living being. The one exception is that to save a living being you may use the one-shot laser
  pistol in your finger.
  Your one strange disability is that you walk with a slight limp. You're vaguely aware that about 20
  years ago you had some form of rectal implant, but your memory chips seem strangely blank as to
  what it involved. It's not exactly uncomfortable, just odd.
  The Others:
  Mr. Skywallower is your master and you obey him to the last. The only exception to this is that he
  cannot tell you to do anything self-destructive unless it is in the genuine interests of saving a human
  life. You realise that Mr. Skywallower is not the brightest employer you've ever had, but if he tells you
  to wander through the starport waving your groinal attachment about, then you'll do it and you'll feel
  proud at the end of the day that you've served your master. Of course, if someone a bit more
  intelligent were to buy you, you would have a new master…
  Mr. Obi Uncle Noby seems like a wise man, if a little driven by his Jelli principles and his belief in
  the mystical power of The Forks. You've observed that he wears several dinner forks on a chain
  around his neck (under his ancient worn-out grey robe). Perhaps Mr. Skywallower would have earned
  himself some dinner forks if he had done a little better at his 'mystical' training and light sabre combat
  (Mr. Noby preferred to keep him practising with a wooden sword after Mr. Skywallower turned on a
  light sabre for the first time and accidentally remodelled Mr Noby's little hideaway cave).
  Mr. "Handy" Solo is, from your databanks, a renowned smuggler. However, your visual sensors
  are amazed that he ever managed to evade capture given the run-down state of his ship, the
  Millennium Bug. Perhaps if you were allowed to spend a few days cleaning the ship it might be easier
  to see which bits are going to fall off when it tries to take off…
  Mr. "Booky" Wooky resembles a huge orang-utan – a little untidy and with a strange instinct for
  collecting technical manuals. Presumably it is Mr. Wooky's technical knowledge that keeps the
  Millennium Bug running. Either that or a lot of sellotape and sticky-back plastic.
  Princess Layme is a royal princess. You've only just met her but you can already tell that she is
  beautiful, has a strong will, and Mr. Skywallower has fallen hopelessly for her (just as he falls for
  absolutely any female…). No doubt you will have to prevent Mr. Skywallower from embarrassing
  himself too much in front of her.
  
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  'HANDY' SOLO
  Race:
  Human
  Sex:
  Male
  Age:
  28
  Height:
  5' 11"
  Weight:
  85 kg
  Service:
  Smuggler (ex-Navy fighter pilot)
  Rank:
  (Lieutenant)
  Decorations:
  None
  Attributes:
  Max
  Current
  Strength
  9
  Dexterity
  12
  Endurance
  9
  Intelligence
  6
  Education
  6
  Social
  4
  Skills:
  Level
  Astrogation
  1
  Brawling
  1
  Bribery
  1
  Carousing
  3
  Computer
  1
  Grav Vehicle
  1
  Pilot
  1
  Pistol (Blaster)
  2
  Streetwise
  3
  Trader
  1
  Weapons:
  Damage
  Range
  Mass
  Shots
  Blaster pistol
  5
  short
  1.5 kg
  10
  Fists
  1
  contact
  -
  -
  Equipment:
  The Millennium Bug Your starship – a rather untidy second-hand far trader.
  Blaster pistol This never leaves your side – you even wear your hip holster when
  sleeping. You carry five energy clips for this on your belt, each giving 10 shots.
  Cr25 The Cr60,000 payment from Obi Uncle Noby has allowed you to pay off a few
  local debts (the maintenance yard which patched up your ship a few months back,
  the berthing fees and the fuel). Cr25 is all you've got left…
  
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  Appearance:
  Tidiness is not a strong point of yours, but then you're a down-to-Sylea sort of guy who doesn't see
  the point in wasting time washing or dressing up – you're bound to get dirty again, aren't you? Life's
  like that. Every few months, when you undress and your underwear begins trying to creep under your
  bed under its own motive power, you know it's time to visit the starport launderette.
  You wear rough spacer stuff – a well-worn pair of navy trousers (from your naval days) and a
  scruffy, dirty white top. Your blaster sits in a fast-draw holster on your right hip.
  Background:
  You started life as a dashing naval pilot, flying the latest ships in mortal combat. Then you realised
  that you might get killed and that the pay really didn't compensate much for being blown to pieces or, if
  you were unlucky, being sucked out into vacuum and then exploding. You left the navy, borrowed a
  wedge of cash from a villainous pizza-stuffing over-sized Vargr called Jabbering Mutt and bought your
  ship – a cheap, run-down, far trader called the Millennium Bug. A short stint as an honest merchant
  made you realise how much work it was being honest, so you changed to smuggling.
  In the last three years you have become renowned as one of the sharpest smugglers this side of
  the galaxy. You have to admit that a lot of this is down to your first mate and chief engineer "Booky"
  the Wooky who has stood by you through thick and thin.
  Your personal untidiness has sort of influenced the decor on your ship – in addition to being
  packed with the technical manuals that Booky collects, you don't exactly exert yourself to keep it tidy.
  Actually it's quite useful being able to saunter into the bridge and know that there will always be
  something left over from last night's nibbles (a few chicken legs, chips, half a can of lager, etc.).
  Unfortunately the Millennium Bug is rather old and tends to break down a lot. Most things start working
  again if you kick them, but sometimes you're totally reliant on Booky's incredible range of engineering
  skills to keep it going.
  Let's face it, you're a renowned villain. You only work for cash: it's money that makes the worlds go
  round the suns so there's not point doing heroic things if you're not going to get paid. You hate
  weakness in others, especially all that lovey-dovey stuff that the holo-soaps keep on about. Cute furry
  things are only good for blaster target practice as far as you're concerned. You also hate know-it-alls
  (i.e. anyone who can do anything better than you). Perhaps your only weakness is that a strong-willed
  woman makes you go weak at the knees…
  The only problem at the moment is that you now owe Jabbering Mutt about 10 million credits (the
  Millennium Bug wasn't cheap and the Mutt charges ridiculously high interest rates). You know that he
  may be sending someone out to politely ask you for the latest payment. You haven't got any cash now
  so you know Mutt will want to repossess your ship. Let's hope you can avoid his agents.
  The Others:
  Louie Skywallower looks like a right poser. You got a vague feeling this trip was going to be
  hazardous and heroic (after all, the old man Obi paid twice normal rate for passage on the Millennium
  Bug). Yet Skywallower wears posh designer clothes (which look like they require dry-cleaning twice a
  day) and has a hair style which you've only ever seen on really rich women before. Hmmm…
  "Jeeves" is a valet robot and follows Skywallower around like an obedient little dog, limping in a
  strange manner like it's got something stuck up its butt. To your trained eye it looks dangerously like
  an arrogant know-it-all type of robot. You know the sort: one minute they're innocently ironing their
  owner's underwear, next minute they're telling you how to repair the zhippo-widget in the jump drive
  and plotting your ship's jump astrogation co-ordinates. Best to make sure this "cleaning droid" knows
  its place. It also has a ridiculous false moustache on it's deformed sugar-cube head.
  Obi Uncle Noby looks like a wizened old dwarf. He wears a worn-out grey robe and you thought
  he must be a tramp when he first approached you for passage on the Millennium Bug. But he really
  has turned up with the cash (which thankfully means you can afford to take the Bug out of port before
  it's impounded). You're not at all certain why he's got Skywallower and the robot with him, but at least
  Obi has brought along the Princess to lighten up your ship.
  Booky the Wooky You call him Booky because his real name is "grrrowwwl", plus he has a habit
  of collecting technical manuals – not holovids or soft copies, but original printed hardcopies. The entire
  interior of the Millennium Bug seems to be littered with piles of these things. You're pretty certain that if
  you wanted the service manual for your nasal hair trimmer that, somewhere, Booky would be able to
  find the right manual. Your only worry about Booky is that he hasn’t yet found a female Wooky, and
  Wookys can get awfully temperamental after several years of enforced 'solitude'. He does also have
  bowel problems but your noise is now immune to the resulting noxious fumes.
  Layme looks like a sex kitten. Unfortunately the instant she appeared, you saw Skywallower's eyes
  light up. You'd better make sure she realises who's the real hero around here! After all, if you help her
  out, presumably she's pretty rich…
  
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  BOOKY THE WOOKY
  Race:
  Wooky
  Sex:
  Presumed male. No one has ever dared ask
  Age:
  33
  Height:
  7' 0"
  Weight:
  120 kg
  Service:
  Smuggler
  Rank:
  Chief Engineer
  Decorations:
  Various bits of previous enemies which you have torn off
  and nailed to your cabin wall.
  Attributes:
  Max
  Current
  Strength
  15
  Dexterity
  7
  Endurance
  15
  Intelligence
  10
  Education
  7
  Social
  7
  Skills:
  Level
  Level
  Brawling
  4
  Intimidation
  4
  Communications
  1
  Mechanical
  1
  Computer
  1
  (Co-)Pilot*
  3
  Crossbow (auto)
  2
  Sensors
  1
  Electronics
  1
  Vacc Suit
  1
  Engineering
  1
  *You can only use this skill to help someone else pilot (normally your colleague
  'Handy' Solo). You cannot assume the controls unless there is someone else
  operating as the main pilot.
  Weapons:
  Damage
  Range
  Mass
  Shots
  Crossbow, automatic
  4
  short
  2.5 kg
  10
  Paws (punch)
  2
  contact
  -
  -
  Paws (hug)
  3
  contact
  -
  -
  Equipment:
  Automatic crossbow This looks mean and has nasty barbed bolts with tiny
  explosive tips. You carry one spare clip with 10 bolts in it.
  The universe's largest collection of technical manuals You like to collect such
  manuals. They are stacked "neatly" around the ship using your own unique filing
  system, which means you can locate a manual for just about any electronic or
  mechanical gadget you care, within a few minutes of digging through your "neat"
  piles.
  Tools You've got just about every tool possible stored somewhere on the Millennium
  Bug starship – such that you can build widgets, gadgets and gizmos faster than the
  "A Team". Whatever tools you currently need are tucked in your utility belt.
  
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  Appearance:
  You are a handsome example of your species, i.e. you are a muscle-bound over-size orang-utan.
  You wear no clothing except for a utility belt with a range of tools in it. You also tend to carry one or
  more technical manuals with you under one arm, but in such a manner that you can still easily use
  both hands and feet to swing through the ship's corridors.
  Background:
  You believe you were born to a low class Wooky family, but were orphaned at an early age (you
  can't remember your parents), so you've had to struggle all your life. You started out as a deck hand
  on a trader as soon as you were old enough, and have spent almost all your life working the space
  lanes. For the last 5 years you have worked with "Handy" Solo, a renowned smuggler.
  You have always had a fascination with technical things and have a habit of collecting technical
  manuals on just about anything, from Handy's old nasal hair clippers to the finer details of jump drive
  repair for an Imperial battlecruiser. These manuals are piled 'neatly' around the entire Millennium Bug,
  making it quite difficult to move around the ship. In fact, with the cargo bay almost full, Handy doesn't
  even have much space for smuggling nowadays.
  Let's face it though, the Millennium Bug just wouldn't run without you. Handy bought it cheap from
  the Vargr dealer Jabbering Mutt, and the ship is now held together by sellotape, sticky-back plastic
  and a few prayers. It doesn't help that Handy still owes Jabbering Mutt some millions of credits so
  you're usually required to make repairs using whatever odds and ends are lying around in the starport
  dustbins. You tend to spend a lot of your time deep in thought, inventing things, or coming up with
  technical solutions to all your problems (your particular favourite is to "send an inverse phase meson
  signal through the sensor array"), but since Handy is the only one that can understand Wooky, you
  don't get much satisfaction from saying such things. It's not fair, after all that Scottish bloke on Scotty
  on Screw Trek gets to say these things, but not you.
  You have always been somewhat sensitive about anyone referring to you as a MONKEY or APE.
  You tend to show your sentivities by ripping the arms off the people who offended you.
  You are also very sensitive about the fact that you haven't spent any time with a female Wooky for
  decades. In fact you're so desperate to find one you'll go to any lengths. Unfortunately Wookys seem
  to be quite rare in this part of the galaxy.
  You are vaguely aware that your bowel does rumble rather a lot and some people find the resulting
  noxious fumes a little upsetting - that's their hard luck.
  The Others:
  NOTE: You can ONLY TALK TO HANDY normally – to everyone else you must use Wooky grunts
  and growls (although with the right sort of body motions you can probably convey the major messages,
  such as "run away" or "I'm going to tear you limb from limb."
  Louie Skywallower looks like a right idiot. You got a vague feeling this trip was going to be
  hazardous and heroic (after all, the old man Obi paid twice normal rate for passage on the Millennium
  Bug). Yet Skywallower wears posh designer clothes (which look like they require dry-cleaning twice a
  day) and has a hair style which you've only ever seen on really rich women before. Hmmm…
  "Jeeves" is a valet robot and follows Skywallower around like an obedient little dog, limping in a
  strange manner like it's got something stuck up its butt. To your trained eye it looks dangerously like
  an arrogant know-it-all type of robot. You know the sort: one minute they're innocently ironing their
  owner's underwear, next minute they're telling you how to repair the zhippo-widget in the jump drive
  and plotting your ship's jump astrogation co-ordinates. Best to make sure this "cleaning droid" knows
  its place. It also has a rather fetching moustache on it's deformed sugar-cube head – perhaps if you
  wore such a moustache you might attract a female Wooky?
  Obi Uncle Noby looks like a wizened old dwarf. He wears a worn-out grey robe and you thought
  he must be a tramp when he first approached Handy for passage on the Millennium Bug. But he really
  has turned up with the cash (which thankfully means you can afford to take the Bug out of port before
  it's impounded). You're not at all certain why he's got Skywallower and the robot with him, but at least
  Obi has brought along a human Princess to lighten up the ship.
  "Handy" Solo has always been good to you. He bothered to learn Wooky to communicate with you
  and he has just about kept the ship funded without being impounded over the past five years. You've
  certainly had some adventures together.
  Princess Layme is what humans would call "a sex kitten". Strangely enough, you also find her
  rather attractive. Unfortunately the instant she appeared, you saw Skywallower's eyes light up and you
  get the idea Handy is attracted to her too. You're not quite certain why you feel an attraction – perhaps
  it's the fact that she wears combat fatigues and has muscles like a jungle panther. Plus, if she's a
  Princess, presumably she's pretty rich… which would mean you could (for once) afford to buy *new*
  replacement parts for the Millennium Bug!
  
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  PRINCESS LAYME
  Race:
  Human
  Sex:
  Female
  Age:
  27
  Height:
  5' 9"
  Weight:
  11 st.
  Service:
  Noble
  Rank:
  Princess
  Decorations:
  You're very very pretty and don't approve of silly dangly
  earrings and such like.
  Attributes:
  Max
  Current
  Strength
  11
  Dexterity
  8
  Endurance
  7
  Intelligence
  9
  Education
  12
  Social
  15
  Skills:
  Level
  Blade, Large
  3
  Blade, Small
  3
  Brawling
  3
  Computer
  1
  Diplomacy
  3
  Leadership
  4
  Medical
  1
  Pistols
  3
  Rifles
  3
  Vacc Suit
  1
  Weapons:
  Damage
  Range
  Mass
  Shots
  Blaster pistol
  5
  short
  1.5 kg
  10
  Commando Dagger
  2
  contact
  0.3 kg
  -
  Fists
  1
  contact
  -
  -
  Equipment:
  Combat Environment Suit The latest in high tech combat-wear. Nice camouflage
  markings (which can be changed to suit the environment at a moment's notice) and
  a hood and face mask that, when pulled up, provide a total seal against gases,
  noxious fumes, etc.
  Blaster pistol This never leaves your side – you even wear your hip holster when
  sleeping. You carry five energy clips for this on your belt, each giving 10 shots.
  Swiss Commando dagger A really nasty looking serrated blade with 17 other
  purposes: it has a fold-out set of scissors, a bottle-opener, a built-in miniature flame-
  thrower – everything a girl could want for a combat situation.
  
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  Appearance:
  You wear the latest high tech combat-wear, which barely manages to hide your rippling muscles.
  You guess you must be what dumb males call "attractive" - you usually have to pick your way over
  their drooling tongues.
  Background:
  Orphaned at an early age, you were given into the keeping of an old, senile, uncle. You remember
  nothing of your parents but do vaguely have some reminiscence of having three brothers, one of
  whom was peculiarly hairy from birth. A strange and lonely man, your uncle brought you up and taught
  you how to fight to survive. When you reached the age of 18, he finally revealed that you were a
  Princess, hidden to protect you from the ravages of the dreadful Emperor and his Imperial hordes,
  commanded by the evil Daft Vader (a Jelli Knight who turned to the Dark Side of the mystical power
  called The Forks). You're told that Daft has a seriously black dress sense.
  Your false uncle brought you to the leaders of the rebellion – a group of rather sad and
  disorganised people with very little cash. You've tried to put some backbone into the rebels and have
  had some notable successes of late. However, a new threat has come on the scene…
  Daft Vader has created a huge moon-sized space station (called the Braindead Star) which is able
  to beam endless channels of satellite television into the homes of every inhabitant of any unsuspecting
  planet, turning the locals into dribbling insane idiots. The first practice run was on your own home
  planet of Adrenalin. Thankfully you were off-world at that point, but you returned to find everyone glued
  to their video sets and unable to relate to each other without referring to the endless soap operas
  running on all 75,000 video channels. You knew something needed to be done. The rebels sent out
  spies and over a period of months, received information. It was programmed into a huge computer
  which, just a month ago resulted in Player Handout 2 (ask the referee for this).
  Heroic though you are, you knew that you needed some cannon fodder and didn't want to waste
  any of the real rebels that you've finally got into some form of fighting shape. Then a stroke of luck –
  you heard about a hermit on Tattyone who was supposedly the very last of the Jelli Knights. You're not
  certain with all this Forks business is just a load of bovine excrement, but you decided to give it a try.
  You eventually tracked down the hermit, Obi Uncle Noby, and he told you that within a month he
  would have a fully trained youthful Jelli Knight for you. (See below for what has actually turned up…)
  Despite your battle-hardened image, you can become a meek eyelash-fluttering woman if you need
  to get something out of a male, although you do feel like puking afterwards.
  YOU ARE THE DRIVING FORCE FOR THIS ADVENTURE. YOUR CHIEF MOTIVATION IS: TO
  DESTROY THE BRAINDEAD STAR AT ALL COSTS; TO KILL DAFT VADER; TO KILL AS MANY
  OF THOSE REALLY STUPID STORMTROOPERS AS POSSIBLE; AND PERHAPS FIND
  YOURSELF THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS – A REAL MAN - SOMEONE THAT CAN HELP YOU
  LEAD THE REBELLION! To destroy the Braindead Star, you must get to the planet Dungheap and
  find the mystic Yodel, who can perhaps tell you how to find a bomb powerful enough to carry out the
  cunning computer-created battle plan (see Player Handout 2) upon which all your hopes rest.
  The Others:
  You've only had a few seconds to look at the crew Obi has assembled, but then it's in your nature
  to make snap judgements about people…
  Louie Skywallower looks like a right idiot. Is this trumped up nerd with the designer clothes and
  designer hair style really the best Obi could come up with? You reckon he's nothing more than a stupid
  poser. Gods help you all. Perhaps you're mistaken and one of the others is the Jelli Knight – perhaps
  the big furry one?
  "Jeeves" appears to be Skywallower's valet robot – he certainly follows Skywallower around like
  an obedient little dog, limping in a strange manner like he's got something stuck up his butt. He also
  has a ridiculous false moustache on his deformed sugar-cube head.
  Obi Uncle Noby you've seen Obi a few times – he's basically a wizened old dwarf, wearing a worn-
  out grey robe which makes him look like a tramp. Frankly, you're not at all certain whether he actually
  is/was a Jelli Knight. Perhaps he's just a con man? Oh well, more cannon fodder while you get on with
  the serious stuff of destroying the Braindead Star, eh?
  "Handy" Solo looks a bit rough and ready and, let's face it, if he really travels in space in the wreck
  that you've just been introduced to as his "beloved Millennium Bug" then he must be pretty brave.
  However, he doesn't really seem the leader type – perhaps you could try and impose a little discipline
  on him (and the rest of this bunch).
  Booky the Wooky resembles a huge orang-utan: a little untidy and with a strange instinct for
  collecting technical manuals. Presumably it is the Wooky's technical knowledge that keeps the
  Millennium Bug running. Either that or a lot of sellotape and sticky-back plastic.
  
SOURCE: textdata/thevault/Traveller/BITS/Traveller - T4 - BiTS - Star Worn.pdf