Now, the Speaker and I have had our moments, but the worst thing—the worst thing—he's ever inflicted on me was actually when he was trying to be kind. We were in Turkey on the Speaker's tour, returning from the Gallipoli Peninsula back to Istanbul. The motorcade consisted of a car for the Speaker, as the head of delegation, a van of MPs and their partners, and motorbikes back and front. Linley and I got a bad tummy bug, and the Speaker took pity on us, offering us the flash Merc for the 400-kilometre return journey. It got complicated when the interpreter decided he had to go in the van with the head of delegation, leaving Linley and I with a driver who did not understand a word of English. My plight was trying to explain to a driver doing 130 kilometres per hour in an escorted motorcade that I was desperate to go to the loo! It was an excruciating three hours. When we finally arrived at Istanbul airport, I tore out of the car so quickly that I caused a security furore. 