Jack: Hi guy, doing ok over in enemy land?
Barnaby: Hey! Yeah, these Lancastrians sure are weird with their black puddings and eccles cakes!
Jack: You missing Yorkshire puds and potted beef over there?
Barnaby: I'm in Blackburn, not on the moon! We've had a few Toby Carvery dinners, lots of puds with that!
Jack: Still, not a patch on your Mum's, though! 
Barnaby: Hey, have you seen that dick on the Diet Coke ad yet?
Jack: Oh yeah, that smug twat! That ad is hilarious!
Barnaby: I know, do they think all 20 somethings go around saying things are Super Good, No?
Jack: All while looking like pricks with hipster beards and retro denim jackets! What a fucking tool!
Barnaby: It's all flavoured shite anyway, I avoid sweeteners like the plague, can't stand the aftertaste!
Jack: Me too, Barnes! I get full sugar if I want a coke, just buy it rarely. Hate diet drinks, they taste 💩!
Barnaby: That ad would encourage people to avoid Diet Coke anyway, maybe that's the point!
Jack: LOL. Anyway, how's work in the sunny Blackburn branch?
Barnaby: Much the same as in the Halifax one! When they notice my accent, though, I do get a few comments about being an illegal alien! Banter like that, it's pretty funny, to be fair!
Jack: Sounds hilarious!😒
Barnaby: Yeah, we Yorkshire folk are being oppressed! Get famous Yorkies like Parkie or James Martin to campaign for our human rights!
Jack: They are too rich to be bothered with us, what about the Tetley Tea Folk?
Barnaby: Yeah, I reckon they'd fight dirty! Nasty little bastards, really!
Jack: Anyway, we miss you at work!
Barnaby: Aww! That's nice of you all! I miss you lot too!
Jack: Yeah, we have to make our own bloody tea now you've got promoted. It's not on!
Barnaby: Sorry man!
Jack: Anyway, don't go defecting now, keep in touch!
Barnaby: Will do, see ya man.
Lancastrians are weird. Diet drinks taste bad. The new ad of Diet Coke is hilarious. Barnaby's work in Blackburn is much the sam as in Halifax. Barnaby is missed at work. He misses them as well.