 AND WHEN I BUMP UP AGAINST THAT NEED TO FORGIVE, IT CAN FEEL LIKE ME REPLAYING THE TAPES IN MY MIND OF THE OFFENSE. IT CAN FEEL LIKE ME ON SOME LEVEL WANTING THEM TO SUFFER LIKE I'VE SUFFERED. IT CAN FEEL LIKE THEM WANTING TO JUST HAVE A GLIMPSE INTO HOW MUCH PAIN THEY'VE CAUSED. WHEN THAT BUBBLES UP, MY PASTOR HAS TAUGHT US TO PRAY TO WANT TO. HE'S LIKE, WHEN YOU NEED TO FORGIVE, PRAY TO WANT TO. BECAUSE SO OFTEN THE DESIRE ISN'T EVEN THERE.