 In John 21, an interesting thing happens. Jesus comes and he says to Peter, do you love me? The word there is agape. It's best defined by Jesus' teachings in life. Peter responds, I phileo you. That is how most of us love. I love you if you love me. I'm good to you, you're good to me. And as long as we're good to each other, that's how our marriages are built. But that isn't what God asked.