 You can't be an almost Christian. Now, you may be on your way to becoming a Christian. You may be closer to believing than you've ever been in any other time in your life, but either you are a Christian or you are not a Christian. But you can't be an almost Christian. That's an oxymoron, almost Christian. An oxymoron is, well, jumbo shrimp. That's an oxymoron. What is it, jumbo or shrimp?