 like deep down in the core of yourself. And I'm like, what the heck is that feeling? And it just, I can't keep doing this. Y'all were talking about stories. I remember one time I was drunk years ago and I carry all the time. But I'm in a habit where if I'm going to go drinking, I unload my pencil and I put it up because I don't need to have it on me. And the next day, I remember a guy in a store had shoved me