 so how long it takes is really dependent for us you know we have a seven-year-old daughter I know her love language because she can tell you she's old enough she knows and when I started going through the questions with her she just shouted words words words like she loves words of affirmation that's what really lifts her up that's what makes her feel good she just gets the biggest grin when she feels seen that is how she knows she is loved and our four-year-old little rambunctious boy he still likes all of them we're