 and I was compelled to speak in front of groups of people. The way I described it was the following morning, I decided that either a shotgun or a bottle was going in my mouth, and I chose the bottle every time. So that's when it becomes 24-7, when you wake up and you feel like your blood is made out of motor oil, your head has a heartbeat, you're shaking, something's got to give. And I would always wake up an hour before I actually had to get up.