 See, once you believe the lie that God is mean and God is cruel and God is sadistic and God is doing all these terrible things to me. He's like a bear just waiting for me. He's behind a bush. He's waiting to tear me apart. God is the God who gives you gravel sandwiches. As Jeremiah said, he's made me to eat gravel and broken my teeth on a gravel sandwich. You ever had a gravel sandwich?