 that is something that just plagues you. It's like a shadow, it just dogs your steps and you're just not able to shake it. He said it's almost like there's a handle on your back and just when you think you're starting to take off spiritually, the devil grabs that handle and pulls you down and he rattles your chain and he shakes you and you fall into the same sin, same sin, same sin, over and over and over again and you experience the agony of defeat in the same area.