 but yeah it's really incredible to hear I actually never I don't listen to myself at all I don't listen to records once they come out in the world I don't watch performances once I've you know completed them are you self critical or are you just too critical of myself and I think that I already am like you know jotting internal notes of what I'm doing wrong as I'm performing and so I don't need to you know kind of enter this kind of like space where I'm like