 while I was wiping oil slicks off my window, throwing touchdown passes as the skate scoring champion. I was a letterman. And then they wanted me to play lacrosse because I was such a soft hands, 160 pounder, but I couldn't do it because the season's conflicted, despite the fact that they're not conflicting. And then I drove trucks. And then when I was done driving trucks, I rode 62 million miles on Amtrak because a dead conductor told me so after the secret service threatened to shoot him.