 and I was bedridden most of that time and so it was really, really tough but it was also a moment to reflect and learn more about this issue and different solutions that exist. Have you been able to share that story with others who are recovering and it's a very powerful story and I think it's so important to people to know that it's not the movies where the bullet goes in and people keep on marching forward. Yeah, no, I mean the trauma will live with you forever but for a lot of us