 but it just means we have to be realistic about what emotions do. So one consequence of what I'm talking about, and this is something I've learned. I've been doing the counseling and mental health routine for over 35 years. One of the big things I've learned, because I often see people in the context of a breakup, whether it's a couple breaking up or more often an individual who's grieving the loss of the relationship that didn't work out, and they come to counseling for it. One of the things I've learned is