 the way that you motivate him is by sharing your journey like share when you're winning when you guys do your debt-free scream share that share how it feels to have this piece talk about the conversations that you're having with your spouse hey you know we've been it was tough at first but we keep opening up the lines of communication just be open and share you can't make them do anything all you can do is tell them about it and then you kind of just have to step away and really just leave it in god's hands at that point