 well and then there's there's clearly an emotional side of this and you know i feel like you know we say this a lot but counseling if she right here you're saying i know i've let her down a lot i'm trying to fix it i'm trying to take the lead i've messed up and i've let her down you said that three different times in this letter this short little paragraph letter that for me is an indicator that there's some healing that needs to take place and so counseling is a great place and by the way i think that counseling