 wow and that's a big transition to say and especially for the kids too because a lot of times kids when they come back even if it's twice a year that's right they want their room they want i know the familiar so you had to tell everyone you had to get everybody on board what was that process like and and they weren't kate and that's that's part of what i write about it's like we have to live our own lives and we will never please anyone and um