 telling you and i believe it's true it's not what they're telling that they're reporting they're reporting what actually occurred i also think that we probably want to just slow ourselves down especially men who are so close to putting black women into boxes or black women should be doing this or black women should be doing that when they don't actually talk about how they themselves can improve and if there's women who are historically saying hey we're opting out of sex we're opting out of relationships