 yeah so i kind of thought back on that time and i'm like we make good money we don't have kids yet like why don't we just go for it so with his help we kind of started it there we go it took a lot of uh difficult conversations but also you know a lot of graciousness from both of us to be able to come together and really develop that budget and that was the the cornerstone of it all yeah and as soon as you turn that corner