 pattern over and over again and now we're seeing with the pronoun thing which yeah it it begins with the first thing that they that they ask and initially they do pretend that they're just asking uh where they say well you just will you respect the way that i want to be identified and it doesn't it doesn't mean i'm not encroaching on you i'm not imposing anything on you but just respect me and when you're talking about me can you like what what is it