 And then until your brain then says no. And I honestly, once it registered to me, I dropped and I was so terrified. I mean, I was laying there thinking I am never going to see my son. I only have one child. I'm going to be a grandma in October for the first time. And all I could think about was I'm not going to walk out of here. And that sounds hyperbolic, but truly that's what you think in that moment.