 Jill looked back at me with a confused panic expression. It was as if she had just received horrible news and was about to run out of the room and into some kind of a family emergency. Hi, she said. Then she glanced over to her right. Oh, I had not seen the president up close in some time. I skipped this season's holiday parties and preoccupied with covering Trump's legal and political dramas. I hadn't been showing up at his White House.