 Beyond the obvious things, I had gone through a massive medical trauma that had left me with some very real PTSD. I mean, I'm not joking. I was really very fragile, even emotionally. And so to show up and allow myself to be seen and to risk rejection was terrifying. And I remember standing outside the night before with one of my good friends just weeping because I was so scared to do it. You didn't know that. I didn't.