 And so in the beginning, when I left and I came back and the pregnancy and stuff was over and he wasn't there, I blame the addiction for that because, you know, that is a quality of addiction, that sort of, you know, deflection and dismissive behavior avoidance. And so I, that's, I think a reason I didn't, I didn't say anything and I kept it hidden for so long because I believed it was his addiction, but